These videos are beyond helpful. I wish I had gotten into this about 15 years ago. Its difficult to be an INFJ male in dating. For years I would go on dates and just bring some fruit from my ranch (I grow citrus and avocados) to give to the other person. I would get some really weird looks and responses. It didn't seem like much of a big deal (I've got a surplus, why not share?) but apparently it was. So as I've learned a lot about being an INFJ is learning to withdraw the urge to give to others until they show at least some interest in earning it. It feels odd and manipulative to do this but I guess thats how life goes sometimes.

Hermit here.

It seems like I hear so often that we all NEED other people just like we NEED good nutrition, hydration, and exercise to stay healthy. I call bollocks on that. People cause me nothing but stress, pain, and misery (with a few dearly-loved exceptions). If I never saw another human for the rest of my life (except for that special, select handful), I’d be ok with it. More than ok. People just suck.

Not only am I not understood; I myself do not understand what others are saying to me. So frustrating! 😵‍💫

I’m so happy I found you ❤

I've done the 16personalitytype test a couple of times. First time infj, second time infp. I can definitely identify with these feelings. It's nice to know there are people out there who understand me, even if I can't find them.

Reading all the comments, I'm so thankful i didn't fall into this. I have the best wife, married 22 years so far.

Ugh I resonate with this so much. It's been so challenging articulating these conditions, let alone dating with them

Oh, I'm romantic.... When I trust you

Hi Lauren. Just wanna drop a quick thank you. Your videos really help me to understand myself better. :)

This is really good stuff from Lauren. I'm 70 and retired now. For me, this video is just an opportunity for reflection. But my advice for younger people people watching this video -- listen to her -- go with your gifts. If it seems easy, roll with it. Don't waste efforts trying to master stuff that is not intuitive for you. Your intuition is your gift - forcing around that is just going to be stressful. I say this from experience. Also, Lauren is on point that people will be intimidated when you show off your stuff. But also, others will be impressed. Don't let small minds ruin your mood. Time will always deal with your enemies - you can wait them out.

I'm entp in the same predicament. She's only early 50s and I'm the only child so not sure how to protect myself while prividing her with the basic minimum she provided for me. A roof over the head and the food on the table.

I'm going thorugh a mini crisis at 33 (starting at 31) and it does feel like a crisis, and I keep thinking that the crisis part is that becoming aware of this makes me very panicked, but I don't think I'm ready for it right now and I have this weird feeling that I'm just gradually preparing for a big change in a few years, when it's matured inside. In the meantime, trying not to freak out and continue to live my present in this ambivalence and not block growth within my current chosen path. You got a new subscriber! I'm loving your videos! I get infp and infj depending on the phase of life and I pretty much relate to both.

Hi Lauren, this is amazing! Never before did I see someone talks so to the point about what happens to me energetically when I am overwhelmed. The thing about going to the upper chackras and about over - forcasting is so true for me. And in the past I used to feel "besides my body" when overwhelmed, and I couldn't control it, but now I can. Thank you for this video ❤️

I read ENFJs are a good partner for us.

I sooo dislike attention and awards. I just want my credit. Not a reward.

Lawd people just don’t get us. Which explains why the are the rarest personality type.

Lawd people just don’t get us. Which explains why the are the rarest personality type.

I've always had health anxiety even when I told by a doctor that everything is alright. However, for practically all of my life, things have been alright - until recently. Last week I had a skin exam checking for skin cancer and a blood test at the same time and same place. I focused so much about the skin exam but didn't focus that much on the blood draw. It turned out the my skin was great but the blood test had a concern. So I guess I should had my thoughts on the blood test more. Nine years ago I had major surgery for prostate cancer and had my entire prostate removed. As it turned out, I still had some PSA readings with my blood tests since then. I've taken medication for it and it helped to bring it down, but the PSA never went away. And now just recently, my PSA number has risen even though I've been on medication for it. I recently got a message from the Oncologist saying that I have to have a scan to see what's going on. I'm just bonkers over this!

The idealistic obsession is an example of Jung's animus/anima projection. She sees a god in him--animus. He sees a goddess in her--anima.

what about sleep? I've never slept my mind is always going at night I end up sleeping anywhere from 2-5 am and wanting to sleep all day and I've never been able to change it, of course I internalise that I'm the problem as I don't' fit society, I was born premature, shipped off to a hospital hours away and left in a crib under lights without human contact i wondered if that's why i don't sleep well, or is it autism which is why I'm so sensitive to touch, smell and so on.

I guess that's why I liked army so much because we are trained to have each other's back above all else, individual weeknesses are worked on but if it costs the team then the team gets roasted for not having a structure that props up that weakness in one of it's members. Forgetfulness was mine, so the rest of the team added to the group checklist what I might forget. We pick up each other's slack and hence the team is stronger. Your platoon becomes closer than family or friends and it's a sense of connection, belonging I never found anywhere else.

you really sum up how it feels

I'm convinced I was autistic and I may actually be but since discovering I am also INFP and learning how the traits appear very similar to autism I wonder if it's just the case I'm INFP and added to that complex childhood trauma. This is right on the money, one day I get into a project so keenly and plan to continue the next day only to find it doesn't register on my want to do list, I have half finished projects all over the house and I spend my days tinkering with whatever one takes my fancy but I hate the ones that have sat there for 6 months or a year and I haven't finished up. I've always found this hard more so now after my brain injury where the brain power and energy is reduced.

Being a male INFJ is very interesting.

4:52 our brains are structured differently 6:33 how can i make others understand? u can’t, let it go

But I'm ENTP and I have this. Can you imagine how dangerous that is? As an ENTP, I'm argumentative and confident, and that's why people can't even convince me to change, even though I know it's hurting me

Hi, I often wonder whether I was born with a brain wired to be a INFJ , or this gets developed based on life experiences. What do you think? And thanks for the helpful videos❤

I feel seen lol. This is been a major issue for the majority of life and still is to a lesser degree. 100% that this is a process. I don't get the fear of judgement as much as I used to because I am understand so much more about others now that I am older and can make my own judgments. However, the hardest part is the unexpected energetic exchange where people are suddenly projecting negativity on me when they know so little about me, let alone themselves, especially when I am sharing something with them in good faith to help. It saps my conscious awareness temporarily no matter how much I attempt to coach/parent myself out of it. Expressing or communicating that energy in a responsible way back to the source helps to let go. It will then always dissipates with time.

I've always thought it was just my personal trait, this wanting to know everything about the other person. I never expected them to want to know literally everything about me the way I do about them. Thought it was just me being intense and them just a 'normal' person. Now that you say it's just an INFJ thing, it makes things a little bit clearer

It seems fairly odd for someone who is a INFJ to be so easily manipulated. Certain things work in the "honeymoon phase" but are quite apparent once youve spent enough time to catch the glaring inconsistencies...seeing through the bs is kind of our thing lol.

The fear seems to be a true occurrence. Is it only a fear or a lesson learned from experience? An experience that we can manipulate to our benefit. We can't control but we can influence situations to a natural outcome.

INFJ/INTJ or Avoidant or both. I am starting to play with the idea that a personality type will also be experienced through an attachment type. I have experienced burnout and a panic attack and have been described by my spouse by the song 'Once in a Lifetime' my only reason to pull away is shame I don't the same way as her or she says she can never understand what I am saying and I can be weird.

💯💯💯

❤❤THANKS ❤

I've been suspect of the immutability of types for awhile. There is certainly a use for seeing ourselves this way, but writing has highlighted to me the problem: In life I'm a strong INTP, textbook really, but when writing fiction I mutate into an INFJ. I wonder if you have experience of this. Dollars to donuts that I'm not the only one that has these dramatic shifts between types, triggered by activity or environment.

Thank you! This is exactly my past 8 years… appreciate this 🙏🏻🥰

I feel so seen, I never understood why I felt like that way and the intense emotions and attractions. I always just thought I was a highly sensitive person and that was just a part of feeling things intensely.

So accurate, ma'am.

I’m an INFJ and I recently fell for an INFP who lives an 8 hour time difference away. We met in person and had a really intense connection almost instantly, but I didn’t feel physically attracted to him until about 7 hours in (hr 2 of 11 on day 2 😂), which is still the fastest I’ve ever felt attracted to anyone. We had less than 48 hours together in person and are long distance now, and it is very much like you said!!

Lose the woke terms, they are racist. It’s called a knight in shining armor 🙄

A romantic obsession isn't harmless. It's emotional adultery and It makes sure you will never succeed in having a fulfilling relationship when you idealize others instead of working on what you have. It's only unhealthy INFPs and INFJs that do this.

Yeah, I live on an open plan narrowboat with a homeboy who's currently unemployed.

i’m exploring my personality type and the accuracy in this is actually insane. i’m literally struggling in my relationship now because i feel “he’s not letting me into his thoughts and feelings”. we’ve been dating 2 months lol

I feel misunderstood. Im very genuine and authentic. People feel like im arrogant and problematic because I am very confident in myself. I am very direct I dont tolerate disrespect or people trying to cause harm to me. I have boundaries and I am strict I have a low tolerance for bullshit. Im 28 and Ive been through so much. I was the black sheep growing up in the family. Im breaking generational curses within myself and my lineage. I am exhausted my soul is tired. I pray to God to keep giving me strength. Being strong aint easy 🥺

Don’t allow the other not to care. We can be too adaptable. Protect yourself. We love too easily.

Wow, this is so uplifting it’s truly important to stay inspired. I feel such a deep sense of emptiness. It’s been two months since Jack left, and every day feels like an eternity without him. My mind is overwhelmed with memories of our time together. The thought that I’ll never experience the little things with him again is so painful. I’ve texted him so many times, pouring out how much I miss and want him back, but he hasn’t replied. All I can do now is hold onto the memories.

Wow, this is so uplifting it’s truly important to stay inspired. I feel such a deep sense of emptiness. It’s been two months since Jack left, and every day feels like an eternity without him. My mind is overwhelmed with memories of our time together. The thought that I’ll never experience the little things with him again is so painful. I’ve texted him so many times, pouring out how much I miss and want him back, but he hasn’t replied. All I can do now is hold onto the memories.

I am a musician that has found myself in a situation where I am on stage every week on stage under stage lights with sound systems performing. I find myself fighting to be my true heroic self. But honestly, it's not that big of deal to me. Situations have made this available to me and I don't have anything better to do at 71 yo. It a healthy thing to do the way I see it.

These are the kinds of relationship dynamics that drive me crazy