Is that goddess Saraswati in the background?

As INFP, I feel a lot and keep overthinking. I used to have INFJ friend at school. We both are suffering as girls who are introvert and born in the broken home. But INFJ leave me without say goodbye. After all the memories spend together, she left me. Change her phone number and leave the city. No letter, no sms, no email. Nothing. I feel betrayed and abandoned by her. After all the money I share with her. I share everything including my stuffs. I open the door when she come to my house and let her stay as long as she want. I believe her. I trust her like my own body parts. But she left me. I don't understand why she do that to me. The INTJ friend (her neighbor that I used to know but not so close to him) told me about her moving out. But I don't know about it. Last time, I said "see you tomorrow" with a smile and wave my hands. But next day, she is gone. It hurts me so much. I become so bitter and close minded. No smile. No excitement. I went to college and meet INTP. I decide to be open with my feelings. I also help INTP for art class. But. I feel betrayed again. When I walked and accidentally hear INTP laughing at my pain (broken home means my dad leave mom, using medicine for my diabetes, traumatic memories, etc), I feel like my world went to dark again. I cried alone. Like why INTP. I never talk or think poorly about you and you're family. It is like she is forget about all the work I've done together with her. She forget who is stay on her side when she is sick. It's me. Not the ENTP and ENFP. But why she talk like that with laugh. I don't understand why being INFP always treated like a cry baby and weaklings. I cry for you. I think about you. I care for you. I pray for you. You can call me and be yourself. No need to hesitate and just talk to me. I will listen to you. Lend you my shoulder and give a glass of water. If you ask for help, I will try my best. Just let me know what to do. But again. She betrayed my trust. I blocked her and never want to spend long time with any INTP. So, I don't trust anybody. Entp, estp, estj, enfp are bullies. It is like I am destined to be alone.

The reason why people don't understand the INFJ is because INFJs can be good liars. But they stay true to their agenda. End justifies the means. Unfortunately, that's not how God works so we fuck up all the time with this.

the truth is unhappiness and happiness is not on their vocabulary. they are driven by their call. If you are still on that phase making pitying yourself because of how people interact with you... then you are not still waken up. You are still a baby trying to grasp what is going on

Personally, I don't feel "disconnected" to my body per se. Rather, my body feels like a separate individual who l *have to* share the same space with. My body kinda feels like my *siamese twin* who has more control of our vessel than l do (essentially, I feel like the less dominant conjoined twin).

Do you think Christ was an INFJ?

We constantly bombarded by fear-based messages. Instead of being taught how to direct our lifeforce in a manner that is life affirming.

I've trained myself to interject more in conversations. It's real easy to make friends when you like to listen and understand people, and I wonder if it's a rare enough occurance for people they jump at the chance. As you say though, it doesn't create bonds when I'm seeking a little deeper, that joyful curiosity. Since we have to maintain energy in many fruitless interactions, it's so important to self-advocate in a relaxed way. It's not ideal but it's better than getting caught in the listener's trap and asking endless questions.. Thanks so much for this video!!!!

I beat health anxiety (haven’t had it in years) but I will tell you it was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. If anyone wants to know what I did to beat it I am happy to share. It was actually easier than expected and I noticed a huge difference in 24 hours

Solitary*

3 years ago I began working out/lifting weights with a personal trainer- best thing I’ve ever done!

Is the INFJ/P type created from trauma? It seems like it when an overwhelming amount of us have had trauma growing up. Sometimes I wonder if my true personality is extroverted because when the rare times in my life I feel safe and free to express, I am energized and happy around people. Wounded child is my survival archetype having had an NPD mother and avoidant father. (Side note - for those in their senior years, when my father was in his late 70s he really faced his issues and transformed his life. It led him to meeting the love of his life. I had never seen him really happy until then. We had so many deep conversations during this time and he fully acknowledged his role in my childhood. He has passed away, but I am still so proud of him. And grateful to have witnessed his growth. Long story short, it’s never too late!)

one of the best videos out there, on how to heal naturally, not only for inf's

We tend to be so in our heads that we are not tuned into our body. I’ve neglected issues to the point that others have needed to call out my lack of medical self-care.

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You're always reading my mail 💀I am very active. I'm a runner, hiker and heavy Lifter but I frequently have strange bruises from bumping into things when I'm deep in thought and I struggle to notice when I'm hungry, need to pee, am getting sick, etc. I never knew I had anxiety until a few years back while cuddling with a partner and they mentioned that my heart racing often, even in my sleep 😂 to which I responded, "that's not normal?"

My brother doesn't understand why theres distance between us, but it's a mix of him not giving my choices a chance and trying to understand me + being combative towards ideas I share. I'm extremely supportive of everything he does and he doesn't often return the favor, he can't help but try to be an arbiter of truth

I love your way of explaining things.

Relatable indeed

I didn't try to fix it the last time I walked away and blocked him

Still the control aspect is used for the safety because the world is not emotionally mature so it is not our fault

Wow perfect timing I’ve been between infj and infp and just recently realized this savior complex with my friendship and have been working through this with therapy and actually found more peace in working and healing myself to be able to distance myself from my friend without feeling guilty. Because the more I heal myself, the more I realize how draining it is and her healing is out of my hands. Literally the words are so freeing, “oh well, I tried.”

Are there any treatments or vaccines i can get to not be an INFJ? im tired of thinking and caring and dreaming and not doing

I can definitely relate

This is exactly it for me, too young I recognized that my parents felt uncomfortable with me. It's lonely because they don't even recognize in themselves that they do this. I transitioned a year ago and get lots of surface level acceptance but then the extreme discomfort is painfully obvious to me. To them they think thats what acceptance is.

Started noticing people were like this after my mom did it to me, then how she picked a boyfriend that would never so no and she could boss around. That told me *a lot*

Love your cobtent! Wondering if you could do a video on INFJ's and grief

For this infj it's important to accept being alone for a season at least. The desire to be accepted can cripple infj potential if acceptance comes at the cost of lowering the bar on personal goals and achievements. I like people to know who I am but most people don't have the time to invest to understand me and if I put myself out there too freely I just open the door for tons of rejection and drama. I'm not able to express myself effectively in high pressure fast spaced drive-thru fast food microwave social culture. Being alone is underrated. If you want to know me you're going to have to be okay with a homemade slow cooked meal.

Do you offer any scholarships?

Excellent video. Got me thinking 🤔..We don't consciously see the imbalance therefore we keep going on " autopilot ". Self awareness and self love is the key to change our negative patterns within connections..No more " bare minimums " ❤

I realize that intuition disconnect with body often. For example, yesterday I made a decision about something that I thought I was okay with but spent the rest of the day with tension in my chest. I wondered why and I ended up changing my mind on that think and woke up today without the discomfort. My body knew the answer was no to the question that I answered yes to but I ignored it. Or how, I don't notice cognitively when I've spent too much time alone/am becoming lonely but my body does. I randomly get irritable, tense and experience muscle aches or unprompted anxiety and socializing fixes it

What do you think about being INFJ with BPD? That's me! Definitely a blessing/curse!!

INFJ - we think & feel. Our “ways” seem completely normal & logical & honourable to us, but everyone else seems to treat us like we are total freaks. 🤯

As INFJ’s, were we all abused as children in some way and that’s why we’re like this or was us being like this brought trauma to us?

Excellent topic. Not many people talk about this, and I find that it has been a profound factor in my life. I learned to ignore my intuition long ago and I constantly tied myself to logic only. Yet time after time my intuition has proven to be true, but I have to learn it the hard way and only in retrospect. It is very hard for me to be sensitive to my intuition now at age 64.

I gave you a like because it’s not easy to feel you are different, how you see the world, life, and how you feel, etc. In my experience I never felt alienated, since I was a little girl I was very independent and I never felt. In my experience and perspective empaths never felt alone. I am highly spiritual and once I understood my cognitive function, how my works , I’m a highly sensitive person and I have to learn how to manage, I work hard in my self in order to understand everything of who I am. I don’t like to be fit in a box and I don’t fit a person in a box. I don’t care if I am rare, I am very happy and proud of who I am. Neurodivergent is gift, having a complex cognitive function is a gift, being a highly sensitive is a gift, being an empath is a gift. Is blessing. Having a complex cognitive function or your brain works different or you think different doesn’t means you have to be a victim of your cognitive functions, being a victim of being a highly sensitive person or being a victim of circumstances or situations, that’s a decision. When you understand how your brain works, you joined all the peace’s of the puzzle of who you are, you are able to upgrade. How an INFJ have problems with focus, if we are good joined the dots, joining the peace’s of a puzzle, how an infj have problems with clear feelings and clear knowing, intuition? How an infj doesn’t know how to discipline their mind? When you have deep understanding of the electromagnetic field it’s because you have a deep understanding of cognitive functions, your sensitivity, all your senses are clear. When you absorbed information you know how to organize the information, it requires discipline, understanding, focus. You have to know yourself.

My brother told me the way I communicate is wrong and insinuated that I'm trying to impress people with word salad which felt very confusing and hurt. I didn't want to upset him so I said sorry, but I wish I had put my foot down. It kinda put a fork in our friendship that hasn't been undone because I don't know how to talk to him and I feel his judgement.

I think it happens for me because im afraid to show up and be authentic with the people who actually value me. Honestly dont know how to handle someone actually giving me attention

Very good video!

Perfecto!! ❤

Hm, when you grow up in a family built under the guise of 'trust' and your intuition goes against that its really hard to trust what you feel

Lauren, I am very grateful for your channel. You are a very insightful and wise woman. I notice as an INFJ that when I am tired my brain starts to shut down. I tend to forget basic and simple things. I need to sleep a lot and to work less like you state. I have to add also that I discover bruces on my body and I don't recall how I get them. Until I revisit the event and realize I hit a surface.

My mom gives me these sorts of mixed signals and its sort of traumatizing all over again. I have a pattern of wanting distance and then trying to get close again and each time I do, it feels like she wants me to exist as a specific role that serves her. When I came out as trans it landed her in the hospital, and as Ive transitioned shes very coldly supported me but maybe once told me my hair looked nice. Never said she liked my nails. I push the feeling away a lot but it does feel obvious to me that she would rather me fit into a role that serves her needs. Its hurtful.

Bleh. Ive done this unfortunately

Have been transitioning over the last year and its helping a lot. Cant hide and dont need to as much because the big scary thing is on display for all to see. So everything else feels easy relative to it

This video was like a one session class and I appreciate you sharing it with all of us! I have had the savior complex before in life. Especially when I was younger and wrapped up in evangelical christianity for a few years. Of course that particular brand of religion almost compels people to try to "save" others and my own INFJ savior complex synced with that. I fell out with them long ago but have had other episodes of thinking that it was my responsibility to save either an individual or even a company or country. But it has always turned out to be futile and a drain on my limited energy. You have made the point in several recent videos that other people have a right to discover and heal their own wounds at their own pace...just like we do. We may have the ability to see other's wounds and motivations better than the average type but what we don't have is the right to try to change others by haranguing them with our "insights" or interfering in their lives "for their own good". We just upset them and actually delay any potential awakening or healing in them since they often just dig in their heels. Its a different story if they come to us for help or its our paid profession. But in general we just need to appreciate our gifts and be sure we ourselves are on the healing journey. Thanks Lauren!

Frenemie or narcissist?

OMG "I get bored with repeat classes" - I have been saying for years that I don't like to repeat ANYTHING!: Thank you!

"Every time an INFJ is born the Gods toss a coin and the World holds its breath"

Its because we often get misunderstood. .😅😅. . that's why we get to reality and take it step by step for them. .