The INFJ Psychic Bond with Romantic Partners

Details on INFJs and INFPs in Love here: LAURENSAPALA.COM/inf-in-love
When an INFJ or an INFP falls in love with someone and forms an intense intimate bond with them (whether or not they’re in an “official” relationship) something weird starts to happen, and that is that the INFJ or INFP starts to pick up on the other person’s energy. Then they start to deeply feel the other person’s energy, and sometimes it seems that a telepathic connection forms and they receive all sorts of thoughts, feelings, fears, desires, and pain in a whole package of the other person’s energy. Some INFJs and INFPs have reported that, after falling in love with someone, they sometimes receive the other person’s thoughts in their head, they seem to know exactly what the other person is feeling, and even where they are and what they are doing. INFJs and INFPs receive intuitive information that has to do with deeply buried parts of the other person’s past and psyche, and they might feel like they’re going crazy because they are “saturated” with the other person’s energy all the time and ricocheting between euphoria, frustration, and exhaustion. A lot of INFJs and INFPs assume they are making all of this up because they want to feel closer to the person, however, they are not making it up. It is happening and it’s called a psychic bond. It happens very easily between INFJs and INFPs and the people they fall in love with, and it is the INFJ’s or INFP’s natural empathic and psychic ability amplifying around the person they love. This is because INFJs and INFPs are natural healers, and when we fall in love with someone, the first thing we do is to look for ways we can be of service to them through our healing abilities.
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[@l0I0I0I0]

When I was in the military, I could sense the darkness in some of the other guys. It made life magnitudes more difficult.

[@Gemisnotmyname]

Omg!!! I can also sense that

[@l0I0I0I0]

I believe its a charasmatic gift. However I have not seen a viable way of using it as no one in their right mind would believe me.

[@mikegeorge3392]

Me too. I feel other souls in a way. And when it's a negative one withdraw from that person. I feel like I have a strange ability to touch another person's soul. I especially desire when I'm in love with that person. Sadly every time I fell in love I've been rejected

[@madz7567]

This is unreal... I've never had these experiences validated before! Thank you for this!

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

Oh my God these exact psychic connection things have been happening to me my whole life. I thought I was crazy. I'm so happy to hear it's not just me.

[@Hihopeyouhaveawonderfulday]

It sounds a lot like the new-age spiritual concept of the “twin flame”, when in reality, it can be intense psychological projection from the “dreamer/idealist”. A sort of euphoria which leads to disillusionment.

[@yukio_saito]

I learned feeling like “twin flame” is a sign of toxic relationship 🚩

[@Hihopeyouhaveawonderfulday]

@@yukio_saito i learned the hard way unfortunately. although i caught the toxic patterns very early on, it's still an unsettling experience

[@Gibil934]

Exactly! It happened to me. I'm just getting out of a 5-year 'bond' that taught me a lot. Twin flame exist but only to make us realize that we want either reciprocity or be on our own.

[@gokulks9716]

Am an infj male ..just want to share my experience..I had crush almost like relationship. We chat and call as usual. One day i got strange intense feeling about the above mentioned person that she is not well like seriously unwell ..then I called her and asked r u ok and she told me she met with a car accident and got injury on the vertebrae. Ya it was like somewhat other worldly

[@wacubby]

And they Love hearing "I feel like you....blah blah blah". LOL. I was SO connected to my ex - It freaked me out - had never experienced that intensity before..we used to kid around about it, how cool it was........until he didn't "like" it anymore- I guess I was too close to the bone....was overwhelming and 5 yrs of constant stress honestly was deteriorating me on many levels. Thanks for this video - I've never actually understood that this is a REAL thing. Yes, I thought I was going insane. And yes, he has tons of wounds that he does not want to work on. Once I started to really try and understand myself/heal from my own, he seemed to be irritated - probably because he thought I would push that healing on him to do also - but I would never have done that....I have enough on my own plate.

[@artifundio1]

Wow, my story is/was exactly the same 😮 How are you now? I hope you're not blaming yourself ❤ For me it's been three years since my last relationship ended. I have had many opportunities to start a new relationship since, but I can see some of their wounds in a few hours of conversation over a coffee, even. It's scary, feeling how they are going to eventually reject my desire for self growth. I am working on trusting my body, and it tells me to walk away every time. Still after 3 years, I want to learn a new skill to deal with "this ability", because I do want a relationship and the probability of finding a partner with a similar ability is starting to appear small... Strangely, at work I am a "master of not taking things personally". So, it's the middle ground the hard part to master. At least for me. I hope my three year long experience is useful in some way. 🍀

[@wacubby]

@@artifundio1 isn’t it scary how many of us have had the same experiences? It honestly kind of blows my mind. It’s a relief because then we don’t feel quite so alone or so peculiar about ourselves ….. but it’s still sad. I can’t tell you how much I value all that I have learned, and all of the growth that has occurred in only 10 months. My relationship seems like a lifetime ago….Nope, I do not blame myself at all. At first I did, but then I started to understand everything, the foggy curtain parted And I took responsibility for everything, forgive myself, which was a monumental thing to do, and then decided it’s time to move forward, go back to being happy and joyful ….my natural state. I hope you’re doing wonderfully or at least better for sure. Sending you a gigantic hug…..you are brave and strong! ❤️🌻🙂

[@AimeeWNicole]

Oof as an INFP dating an INFJ right now I feel like this could be heightened to the max! Even in the early stages.

[@infpjohnny968]

Been there, friend. For me it was like being in a funhouse mirror room. Basically an infinity mirror. I wish you the best of luck in navigating it all. It's a lot. Take care. 🙏

[@artifundio1]

​@@infpjohnny968I always thought that would be a good thing, could you share a little more about your experience? 🙏🏻

[@MariaBM1]

I don't just get this with romantic partners. I can sometimes get this from close friends when there's intense emotions involved. I've eventually accepted these experiences as real as, when I pick up these emotions from others, they just don't feel like mine. They also arrive out of the blue and leave unexpectedly.

[@yukio_saito]

I gave up going deeper in a relationship when I realized someone's natural wound. I don't want to get into an unhealthy relationship like codependency. It's not a good idea to overuse our healer ability.

[@neogbfe3587]

I never learned this until I was in my thirties and engaged, at least that’s what I thought. I was engaged until the idea of a break was brought up. I considered friendship with my ex fiancé. That’s just as damaging to INFJs and against our embedded characteristics. So I learned in that short time how there is no way of preventing codependency in romantic relationships/friendships. Since I’m not one to date to mate, like the majority of society. I have made it a point to just keep going at life alone.

[@JFairhart]

I have always told myself it’s normal to have a so called physic connection with my loved ones. It’s just like a mother’s intuition with their child(ren). Very normal. No need to be fixated on it. Also, if you just respect their boundaries you don’t obsess about what’s going on with them. Just be a supportive friend and lover. It’s not difficult.

[@Hyorikatsu]

INFP here, I dated a girl with severe depression I thought i was going crazy and even sought therapy. I was feeling sad all the time. I never was like that before, I was definitely feeling emotions thats weren’t really mine. Once at work she texted me and just in a few texts I could tell something was off, but then I just broke down and cried uncontrollably. I was sent home. I still don’t know why exactly I felt so much. I haven’t cried like that without my own reason since. I raised the alarms to all her friends and close relationships that day. I would often text her roommates too to check up on her, which would prevent her acting out her thoughts of self harm. I never was able to guess exactly the thought or hear her thoughts in my head or something supernatural like that.

[@carolinebrown8965]

Yes ! I'm going through this right now with someone I barely know !!!

[@mindset_olympics2]

Same here

[@cerespatenttechnology7849]

Lol. I’m an INFJ Dating an INFP. It’s like we are always mind reading each other. Somehow it really works in our favor. Like two people super mind reading each other after a long day. I can’t imagine how difficult relationships can be for everyone else. It’s tough enough navigating each other’s complex feelings at this level of intuitive connection. Lol

[@borndeafin1ear]

As an INFJ male, I can usually feel my wife's headache, and I don't even have to look at her, or hear her speak. I just have to be within 3-6 feet of her. It really hurts. When i move away, the headache goes away. Also, I almost never get headaches myself. When I'm intimate with her, I can sense when she is really feeling good from the experience. That is one of the most wonderful sensations.

[@LavenderHazelwood]

I had a boyfriend and we were talking about his sister who I didn't know anything about and I mentioned how she was saving herself for marriage and he responded before I even knew what came out of my mouth "How did you know that?". I had no answer for him. I had no idea how I knew. I didn't even know I knew that.

[@wacubby]

I used to say to my romantic partners "I don't know how to explain it, I just see you for who you really are inside - not so much all the things you've done in the past, etc". I didn't know why I would describe it like that - I had no basis, other than it being the truth. They had major issues - emotional unavailability/deceitful/etc so I couldn't figure out if I saw them as this good soul, why I could not trust them....feel relaxed around them and inside myself, I didn't know I was an INFJ until really about 4 months ago. I know I've taken the test a few times but wasn't really into understanding "myself" back then....so I remember seeing the same result, INFJ but not truly understanding how all of it fit into my life, decisions and approach to life. I wish I had paid attention to it decades ago, maybe things would have gone smoother, or I would have had a "grip" on Life, relationships, etc. Instead, I've had too many relationships with toxic individuals and when you see those types of people thru our lens, it's super dangerous. ..especially if you are not in touch and trusting your intuition. You just need to run...but I always doubted myself, my intuition and really thought I was asking too much for myself in these relationships..I know, it sounds as awful as it feels. So, big spiritual awakening smacked me in the face months ago, was not expecting it and I am totally awake to myself, my INFJ self and have been processing, learning and growing. Thank you for your excellent videos, YOU are a huge part of me feeling "normal"....I'm totally serious.

[@idaknow4240]

I wish I understood this years ago. It just always felt like a broken brain and other people’s constant ‘what? No! I was NOT thinking/doing/considering what you just said… you’re crazy’ click goes the phone. 🙄

[@OnceTheyNamedMeiWasnt]

I have never had anyone confirm this before. You are so amazing.

[@sharersale6480]

So I'm not crazy. Oh, thank God. 😂

[@crzywmnssoul]

I found out a 1-2 ago I am an INFJ… this would have been useful earlier 😂… I wake up feeling like a supernova of feeling/energy and now finding that we do this, I am like is this my feeling or his… He is an INTJ… My mind I feel motivated, waking up and I am like body what is going on? One more thing… when someone is about to trip, fall, hurt themselves, I feel an uncomfortable very noticeable feeling in my knees like I am feeling what they are feeling. I feel if someone is crying, I can feel their pain like it’s mine, that has always been apparent. But the knee thing, I’ve not seen anyone talk about.

[@user-lp4vr8rg4j]

I would say these traits apply to loved ones meant to be in our journey or our purpose within theirs!

[@heatherhafer3333]

The discussion of being a healer doesn't apply to my sould connection with an INFJ. I'm an INFP. I like her spirit. I like her quietness. I like her speech and revealed thoughts when we talk. I can sense all 4 of her cognitive functions, and I think she's an enneagram 5 Castle. It has bothered me for months how much I like her and therefore want to talk to her and go walking with her and play sports and go to the fair, and other fun things because... She's super busy all the time, and somewhat passive about making time for a friendship. Yet, she has strengths I don't possess.

[@danielpowell9891]

Excellent information 😊

[@galespressos]

Super interesting every time. Wonder if it’s possible to change the title to INFJ/P. So INFP can know they are included.

[@Jess-tl1nf]

Thank you for this 💙

[@heladella]

Thank you so much for talking about this 🌻

[@sarahjensen2473]

This isn't limited to romantic relationships at all. It's just an extra sense that some of us have. The problem is that it's been vilified and denied by religions, including psychology. Of course, love isn't limited to romantic relationships, either, but I will pick up things about people I'm only tangentially connected to.

[@cinderling5472]

I SO wish i could attend your weekend class, darling Lauren!! Thank you for all you do❤️❤️❤️🙏

[@carolinebrown8965]

YES ! It's exhausting !

[@wanderanon]

Thank you, this was pretty helpful! (:

[@mylinhtran7756]

Thank you so much! It’s not all in my head!

[@timothybrown6790]

Well said !!

[@macaronrouge2468]

Merci beaucoup pour ces explications,Enfin la vérité sur le sujet.

[@karlosrosales155]

I’m an INFJ in a relationship with an INFP for a couple of months now. It’s true I get surprised sometimes by how often he would be telling a story and I would have a question in my mind, ready to ask, but he telepathically picks up on it, and gives the answer without me having to ask anymore. We are so connected on a deep, deep level even if we don’t talk for a whole day. Also worth mentioning that he (INFP) is 23 years older than me (INFJ), and I think our age difference plays an important role in our relationship.

[@Manni-lj2cy]

You are an absolute genius!

[@jennifercatherinekarel8925]

Helpful video! Clarity n Validation, ThankYou

[@kalinadesseaux8011]

Thank you for your insight and validation, one strong root in shifting sands

[@warrenmoon7709]

Thank you ❤

[@selenachronister9642]

So validating!! I've been experiencing this and even reached out to a therapist for support because I thought I was going crazy. But how you explain it makes so much sense to me and who I am

[@gothaf]

Omg! I get goosebumps from hearing about all these things that are happening to me from another person's perspective.

[@donnalowe9334]

So funny growing up my mother's always said children are sponges. And so how true! We are. Thank you for the great video. Yes, we are intruders, throughout life, even standing on a sidewalk waiting for light to change. We can block some of this if we work on it. And we should learn how to block it off. To connect spiritually mind to mind is deep and unnerving. But it is interesting to say the least.

[@mikegeorge3392]

This is amazing and kinda fills in the gap for me. I always tend to fall in love with broken women who generally don't want help but I want to care for them. I begin to feel all the pain they are carrying. I always blow it off as my pain somehow or something else. After listening to this it makes sense. I'm not sure if I could feel where they are but I get "imagery" of situations and places. Of course I've never confirmed if I can see them as in a psychic bond. I can however feel the other person's feelings.

[@chloewhite7357]

The dreams, the visions the thoughts omg over it.

[@timothy2-5_john17-3]

Is it possible for us to fall for someone without wounds, someone who can reverse role with us and be our healer, honestly I'm tired of this role, I want to be the taker now

[@macaronrouge2468]

Your topic on the specific connection between INFJ/INFP and their crush is quite revealing. Now, how to get support when you have a crush “to welcome and manage” without completely panicking to the point of ending up ruining the chances of this meeting (fear, distrust of your feelings, distrust of others, etc.) because you are not aware enough of our hyper-connection to be able to quietly flirt and really establish a sharing connection with this new person we like? personal development, self-esteem, self-confidence can be very good but with a hyper INFJ link not sufficient :) THANK YOU :)

[@Monkwhispers]

True!

[@user-ul4es8or9e]

I am so happy to hear that, I thought it was happening only with me , and i am only the person getting through this 😢😅😅

[@Reindeer911]

This video sure answered some very important questions I've had. I've gone through exactly what you are describing in this video multiple times and have been trying to figure this stuff out for quite a long time. Thank you! One thing I need to know is if when we fall for someone and this happens, are there reciprocal feelings, or is it that the other person can go on and not have a clue or any realization of the INF having feelings towards them? Is there a way we can train this aspect out of our personalities?

[@thenewearth5313]

So infuriating when they want grow as quick as you want them to! Lol.

[@cutebutpsycho2045]

omg，I thoughts that‘s just my problem

[@galespressos]

This was happening to me, picking up where the person was in place, and going there, then also sensing some detailed information. Sometimes it was so bad that if I talked to the person and I realised I knew it, they thought I must have heard via gossip, but no, I had picked it up somehow directly from them. It was a quandary: do I tell them what I know or wait for them to tell me or what do I do? Eventually, I got freaked out myself and blocked these senses. Don’t have them now, mostly. All blocked and I’m so biased about everything now, that I’m not too worried about picking up much accurately any how. It was real though. I know. Falling in love was not necessary but having a strong connection, and a strong sense, but as I said have successfully squished this, and am too biased now.

[@user-lp2ou2ig5z]

Im trying to help this guy ive known since i was a child go through his divorce..o my goodness..this resonates with me...we want to help heal people...take on there energy....i think its important as an INFP to recharge so that we can reset out energies if we are to go about and help people heal :-)

[@SarahJacksonLV]

THIS COMMENT THREAD IS...AMAZING❤

[@ygtbr]

It could happen with 'The One' but what do you say to INFJs being really good at putting up barriers, disconnecting, disassociating?

[@Kelektroid]

Let's admit it, we are wizards! It's a tricky path. 😅

[@MiillieMesh]

I know the INFJ I was dealing with emotionally probably exhausted tf out of each other. I would always want to hear the dreams they had about me & they'd be right. I also was helping them cut off a toxic relationship that over extending beyond the deadline. I think I created a tower moment for them, not to say I'm perfect but I'm older than them & more aware of my spiritual gifts or I'd say accepting of them. It was intense. I'd like to have that again but with someone who won't lose themselves in me. Them draining themselves through me was irritating & became unbearable on my end. I think becase I was not in love with them. I could imagine how I'd be if that happened with someone I had strong intense feelings for. We have to be uplifting each other not dragging one another down. Needless to say their wounds were still fresh from the ex-person in their life who they had been with a long time. I assume now all INFJs like long lasting relationships 😂

[@matilda4406]

Why were you with them if you were not in love with them? Isn't that just mean?

[@MiillieMesh]

@@matilda4406 how old are you? You don't know that you can like someone or love someone without being in love with them?

[@matilda4406]

@@MiillieMesh definition of "in love" is subjective, isn't it ? What's your opinion ?

[@5sunniva5]

I thought it was a mutual psychic bond and I was in some kind of a twin flames connection 😢 now I understand that I need to move on

[@MegaCyberleader]

i have psycic bonds with my dogs and 1 cat.

[@brocklytodd5317]

yeah

[@oak6677]

Hi Lauren, a fellow INFJ here (atleast from MBTI tests multiple times throughout my slightly over 2 decade lifetime). I wish I could email you this instead but here I go - So I am a university student and I find it extremely hard to construct words to explain what I understand. There's this fear of not knowing every minute detail which blanks me out in vivas and random quizzes in class. And sometimes, I just really don't know what to say...like idk where to begin..there's too many things running in my mind and I simply go blank because deep down I also know that that's gonna need time to be sorted. Maybe I do understand less than my classmates or maybe I just can't word it and so I come off as dumb, stupid and uninterested. I hate feeling this way and I wish I could express myself better.. Idk if this is an INFJ problem or just me. I would really appreciate your advice on this. I find your content extremely relatable and would really appreciate your take on this. - I hope you stumble upon this random YT comment

[@warrenmoon7709]

💯💯💯💯

[@ferniejackson8300]

-What happens if the other person is the same, is it possible to exchange words, telepathically, when miles apart for instance?

[@ambraiezzi5037]

👍 👍 👍

[@jyc313]

So what happens when an infj and infp meet and feel a connection? Two way bond? Or is one bond always stronger?

[@matilda4406]

good question

[@Gemisnotmyname]

I met an INFJ once. We had psuedo friendship.. im infp. He had this 6th sense.. he caught on to that the person I was close with was a narc very quickly. While I was denying alot of my intuition he was accepting his. We had a very healthy friendship. He was really a good friend but we just faded away. In alot of ways we were similar but I would say he was more aware of things and trustin of his intuition than me

[@user-lp2ou2ig5z]

Ive also had crazy obsession with a married man that lasted for a while..i think it was the fantasy or something....Im an INFP..i dated an INFJ once and we were like best friends at one stage....But since he moved on and got married i got ghosted......Now i have a nice friendship with a non binary person and our friendship is very meaninful....So glad i found your videos :-) they are so helpful and insightful

[@LeeMunchalchemy]

What is an INFJ's and INFP's????

[@renata.mcelvany]

Those are personality types based on the Myers Briggs Personality test.

[@darasquest11]

@@renata.mcelvany Hi Renata, I was wondering if you are part of the Sensitive Empowerment Community? Seems I recognize your profile picture from there. Just thought I drop you a line and say Hey. It's always lovely to come across like-minded HSP/INFJ's.

[@MindF.cked479]

You are describing psychic abilities which comes through the energy body (soul and spirit) not cognitive functions which comes from the mental and emotional bodies. This is not an INFJ and INFP thing. This is a quantum connection thing. Literally anyone that forms a strong bond can do this. Most are simply keeping it to themselves. Many don’t even need the strong bond for their gifts to work. It’s always there. If you are exhausted, it’s because you don’t know how to protect and shield your energy. You need to learn about energy work rather than confusing these gifts with cognitive functions. Edit: Psychometry is touching something and being able to know the history of that object. Clairsentience is picking up on the other persons emotions. Clairaudience is being able to hear their thoughts. Telepathy is being able to communicate back and forth with each other without verbal communication, but via thought exchange. Knowing the history of someone’s soul means you are tapping into the akashic records.

[@eminemstrash2021]

Infp and infj are the two personalities most likely to develop limerence, and both are significantly over represented in limerence. I disagree that infp and infj fall in love with the actual person, as they are both Idealists. They can't help but fall in love with the concept of another person.

[@matilda4406]

no, I disagree. They love people. And they do, very much fall in love with the actual "person".

[@theghosttiger1446]

In 1995 I had a dream I was in the shopping plaza where my girlfriend at the time would eat and hang out. In the dream I was in my car and I noticed the time said 8:00 pm. So on a whim I waited until 8 p.m. and drove to the plaza. My girlfriend and her friend pulled up in front of me (as I waited in my car) and they were arguing with each other. She was arguing with her over another guy she was having an affair with.

[@jyc313]

Damn crazy..

[@KhalisiDaenerys]

That's insane