Why Do Men Only See Me As a Hookup? (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

[@SaraSara-lo5mh]

They don't wanna get to know me to stop seeing me as a 2D . whenever I try to have a conversation and start talking about myself, they just wait for the opportunity to turn the conversation to a sexual one. I tried hard but it always turns out like that which is really devastating !

[@aishwaryashrivastava7979]

Sara Sara they don’t deserve ur Time then.

[@leenaviie]

Can't agree more

[@evangeliamintzai6302]

Just avoid them then. I have had the same in the past when I was ignored when I talked about myself because their goal was just sexual casual moments. I blocked the number of such guys to never bother me again. Whenever they appeared in my life again using other number they couldn't grasp that I was in a serious committed relationship. As if I was not worthy enough for it. Wtf! As I said ignore them.

[@ilonamacdonaldsagittarius2173]

Sara Sara just don’t mess around with them.

[@KarenMaria1313]

Why I dislike online dating lol that’s what most guys who I talked to wanted

[@Halo-li8hg]

I truly deeply feel had my father been around I wouldn't have let men abuse my body. A father sets the standard and teaches his daughter how to behave. I cant blame it all on this but it played a big part in my self worth

[@Empressmone]

Same here mine walked out on me 3 months old always felt like if he didn't want me how could anyone else. Now I chase rejection smh

[@christinacatalano]

I agree. The wrong men can sense that too, thus starts the cycle.

[@gypie88]

Same, I wished my dad taught me about the true nature of men instead of trying to hide it.

[@justinnamuco9096]

Oh dude, those men were so happy weren't they

[@justinnamuco9096]

@@christinacatalano All men can sense it. But all the talk about freedom for the girls so we shut up. Not trying to be restrictive, but just wanting girls to be careful around the types of guys they hang out with

[@chanel123ful]

When I start talking about my interests and goals guys tend to ghost me 😂 men don’t care about none of that . They just want sex and no attachments

[@Ayisha4889]

I will listen , come tell me about your interest and hobbies

[@megandrosuk6100]

Their not real men then

[@heroldjaras9909]

@@megandrosuk6100 im a real men i will listen about her goals. so whats next? wife up a single mom and women who are 20 years older than me?

[@kiyeoow]

Same

[@shambhavitripathi6763]

I feel we let these behaviours slide sometimes. We all have had instances where we have put either getting attention, their time or a hope above our standards. Its time we let them know that its not okay by shutting them off.

[@margaritam.9118]

I just stopped having sex altogether. If they only see me as a piece of meat, let it be, then no one will get anything. I want a normal relationship, for someone to care about me and for me to care about him. To go out, talk and be affectionate. The guys I liked didn’t even bother to hug me after they sleep with me. A simple hug!

[@TilskKarishma]

Same! And I recognize it helped. I stopped giving sex since a half year. I always felt bad afterwards, because if they got what they wanted they disappeared. Not even a "good bye" I got. So no one gets and I feel sooooo much better. ♥

[@margaritam.9118]

TilskKarishma Dignity should come first 💛

[@nenasnake6375]

Exactly?! That’s what I sad!!!

[@patriciamalemikia2743]

😂😂 simple hug …man men are full of bullshit

[@mahaalotaibi8352]

Wow this broke my heart 😢 take your power back!! Dont give sex for affection. Try to wait ✋ never rush dating.

[@How.Dare.You.]

Still didnt work. Im super 3d, have a lot of interests, like intellectual talks etc I still meet guys who are on my level, on the surface nice guys, smart, sometimes even geeky and even they just want one thing!!! Crazy

[@moonchild1995]

Same story

[@tomharvey5466]

Ur depth and intelligence just makes them even more attracted to ya? So ur all that and more sight unseen

[@gloriavazquezvelez4293]

What I understood, correct me if I'm wrong. As woman we must stimulate the male brain 🧠. Until we reached their most fragile emotional state. However, I believe for some women this can be a hell of a challenge by many factors. For example women with insecurities. These female lack knowledge on how men think on a neuroscience aspect. Therefore I believe they evolve in their male side. This take place when a female testosterone hormones is higher than her a estrogen hormone. According to @johngray. So we must learn how to be 3D females. Men are simple and very competitive. A female best friend to a men is one that he finds attract, I have listening skills, laugh at his corny jokes, knows how to reject a sex offer but never the less insult their men hood or behaving like a virgin. Once he opens and talk in amore profound vulnerable emotional way. Then perhaps the woman wants to have sex then make sure it's fun and summit when they are intimate. But the listening and understanding when you have reach the right connection. With all the respect. My humble opinion. Sorry for misspelled words.

[@gloriavazquezvelez4293]

@Dante Reizer no one is asking for you to read this. Mr. I am not here to entertain every single person. As an American I am in title of voicing my believe. Go on one peace. This was cleared, there for kelp your energy and seek those you connect you. Thank you.

[@z-iceberg3562]

@@gloriavazquezvelez4293 u up

[@SnowFoxParty]

The ones that see me as a hook up and I just ask flat out what their looking for and if I dont like the answer I keep it moving because I know I am a high value woman and I'm no hook up

[@rainytree5057]

sex is personal and some just don't realize how others value it with a special someone

[@levo2344]

What if you don't find the right one until 30? Will you live in celibate until 30?

[@SnowFoxParty]

@@levo2344 I'm not 30 yet and since making this comment I have found the right one for me.

[@martinverbeek8862]

we apparantly decided you are not a high value woman because otherwise u wouldnt be here.

[@veritasabsoluta4285]

@@SnowFoxParty I'm happy for you

[@krisnilsson5454]

The man I 'loved' was still in love with his ex bit trying me to fill a void.

[@natibet7546]

My husband did that for 6 years. Longest rebound in the history of times 🙄

[@АннаАртемьева-и9ш]

Omg I’m in the same situation now

[@annc7739]

That’s also my story...it truly sucks.

[@JAISSUSSU]

Same thing happening to me. So i refused him last week after i cried a lot..

[@susantompkins4254]

Same as me

[@__________________________7596]

I was all of that and more and he still minimized me to sex by the end of us dating. So hearing you say all that gives me reassurance that I did the best I could and it wasn’t my fault things didn’t work out. I am so much more than my body and I showed him my many interests and vulnerabilities and humanness and all. I think I was too authentic of a human being for him and he has issues with intimacy, so he cut off from connection some where along the way because it felt safer to have walls up than for his ego and feelings to be at my mercy. His loss.

[@Cassiopeia11962]

Good riddance! It´s always nice when the trash takes it self out.

[@timetraveler6949]

same happened to me. Its them not us.

[@zabeth11173]

Its like you almost have to hard friend zone a guy just for them to see you as a 3D person.

[@amnbvcxz8650]

Exactly. They mostly only simp for women who friendzoned them. They can’t be purely friends with anyone female. I noticed this over and over again, and have never noticed otherwise.

[@octane2344]

Plus don't let the guy set the standard for how he chooses to see you. Set a boundary that you're looking for more than a hookup. Plus showing your personality and humorous side is a powerful way to bond with guys. The quiet, demure tactic allows guys to see you only sexually, not the best tactic. Putting your personality on the forefront, forces the guy to see more sides to you

[@lelequeenbeebee1074]

Some people are more reserved tho

[@octane2344]

@@lelequeenbeebee1074 fair enough. As much as you can then

[@iziz5691]

Veryyy true!

[@nimanixo]

Eddie Allen true

[@427skies]

I tried...and the conversation still turned sexual

[@chrystalruby1782]

Great video as always, but I've tried everything you've mentioned. They guy will play along, act interested in my kids and hobbies, and still try to booty call me. Every. Single. One. In real life and online. Why? Because people use each other like bathrooms now. Its gross. A man will never have a relationship when he can easy sex with multiple women. It's an epidemic and I wish you'd address it. Following your advice only leads men to go sniff something easier and those of us who aren't willing to hook up end up spending years of being celibate and one two dates per guy at most and those are an awkward wrestling match to get out of the car. No matter how clear you make it that you're not interested in sex without commitment. None of them want relationships. None.

[@TheCmacneil]

Yep absolutely. It's terrible.

[@Empressmone]

You said that shit 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 "use each other like bathrooms" preach on sista

[@amandayouksee1724]

I feel the same

[@phish2947]

I’m super frustrated with this also

[@amandayouksee1724]

@@phish2947 agreed

[@elizabethdobos6259]

Matthew: I understand your point, and there is truth to it in some cases. However, I have always dressed conservatively and have always made it clear that I am not into casual sex and I had to remove my profile from dating apps because I was getting 3 - 6 sex requests per week. In college, I realized that I did not have to do anything to instill the thought of sex in a man's head -- it is already there. Every day, men's bodies produce 10 - 20 times the testosterone that women produce, which is why men's sex drive is so much higher than women's. The fact that so many men are comfortable using women as sexual toilets makes me sick.

[@cooldude5699]

Not all guys are like that though. Some of us still believe in waiting for marriage.

[@lorilandry796]

Elizabeth Dobos same here 😔

[@427skies]

@@cooldude5699 MOST are like that though.

[@miliaurora1038]

Come to conservative society. Men here don't even expect those shit.Only love exists. It just makes me sick thinking why do you even put up with these men...

[@miliaurora1038]

@Ann P I am from Asia.

[@Harken4949]

“Don’t let people live under you!” This is my favorite thing ever, and great advice too! 💕

[@msteriousone8015]

BS. I was very 3D with the last guy I dated. I shared my passions, my interests, my vulnerabilities, but he had no interest in a deep relationship. He didn't want to get to know me, he just kept booty calling me.

[@jenniferdominguez07]

Then thank u, next

[@gripitl6878]

Fiana Heidari I Feel your pain..

[@modernmodest5659]

Did you keep giving it to him?

[@msteriousone8015]

@@modernmodest5659 No I didn't, it was bad for my emotional wellbeing, but it was hard not to miss him.

[@miliaurora1038]

@@msteriousone8015 Sad!!! Seeing these stories makes me feel I am blessed to be born in a conservative society....Lust being shut down, Men here in my area don't even expect these things because they know this excitement is temporary which will fade away eventually so if they want to get married, they look for genuine qualities in women(also cheating is non-existent)......The only kind of bonding that exists, is emotional bonding...Only love exists.... anyways every society has its plus and minus

[@ivoryvignettes]

This really helps me verbalize something that has bothered me for a while but couldn't put my finger on. Thank you so much Matt. You make things that seem complex really accessible. True brilliance.

[@synaesthesia4183]

This was brilliant. I literally used the exact same reference to the guy I'm seeing before I even saw this....tried to explain to him why him not asking me questions about myself or showing curiosity felt threatening to me. Someone's capacity to be cruel or indifferent increases exponentially if they don't know shit about you aside from being hot.

[@maddiwb]

this is such a great point. well said

[@lorilandry796]

I have this issue and I’m so over it and dating. I’m extremely private. I’m hardly on Social media I barely have pictures of myself posted. All my posts are about nature and things I love. Guys ask to send a picture of myself and I pretty much show just a face picture which most men love. Then they ask for more as I’m trying to know more about them a lot of those questions get blown away by most men. I make it very clear from the start that I am looking for a relationship and ask what their intentions are as well. Every one of them say the same thing “relationship.” Instead of sending pictures of myself I’ll send a picture of a flower I saw on my walk etc... eventually they ask for a picture again.. I’ll send a candid one of me... then nest thing you know “I’m hot” and conversations turn sexual. Mind you, I’m considerably conservative in how I dress but that doesn’t seem to matter. Am I doing something that’s making me come across as not serious about being in a relationship? This could be someone I just met in public I feel cursed like men only have sexual conversations and desires towards me... and don’t try to get to know me... 😭😐😔

[@Cassiopeia11962]

You are not alone about this. Seems like this happens to all women no matter how conservative or liberal you are or how you dress. At the end of the day the problem is the dudes, not us, level headed women. Keep on being you and never change because no matter how you twist and turn to be liked by dudes in the way you want can't be helped. Just wait and see if the next one is right and on your terms about things otherwise you can just brush them off.

[@kate7932]

Same! If you’re pretty even if you don’t dress provocative the body is still all they see 😓 in my dating app the first sentence is “I’m looking for a serious relationship”and yet their approach is often superficial.. they don’t care to know me but want immediately my number or to go out and if I say “ no because I don’t know you” then they don’t text anymore.. some will pretend to be interested in me but they can’t keep the facade for long.. I almost never post on social media.. rarely about myself.. I have stopped for the shitty attention that I got

[@ziyou3494]

I have had similar experiences. Trust me it's not you it's them. A lot of men are like that but not all.

[@amnbvcxz8650]

@@kate7932nah, this trying to get the benefits of a relationship without being in one happens way more likely if the woman is not very pretty (aka the man thinks he could meet someone prettier at some point, so keeps it open).

[@katiie7]

If they’re stuck in 2D talking to you leave them there✌🏻🙅🏼‍♀️

[@Isalukich]

Yeah but when the guy persists along the 2D line, you just have to walk away. Unfortunately, that keeps happening to me. There's me, trying to get to know the guy and he just doesn't wanna know! It seems to happen every single time I meet a guy. I am on the verge of giving up on dating for good.

[@misterrr7]

Im a guy and the thing is that we want to get sex asap. If she doesnt want to have a sex with me till date number 3 then Im out. Not gonna waste my youth on some bullshit. Sex is big part of relationship and if she doesnt want sex then she not interested and move on. Life is too short.

[@TilskKarishma]

@@misterrr7 And if she gives you, you call them a whore right? Sadly I know too many guys like you. Just disgusting view. I have sex with someone if it feels right not if he wants to. No woman on earth owns a man sex. This is just a sick thinking...

[@alexcarter4518]

@@TilskKarishma We are NOT forcing any woman to have sex with us. No man on earth owes a woman 'Marriage or Relationship" ..... life is too short..you wanna join us fine or there's other great women on earth. We kept telling lets not promote this 'hook up culture' and only promote Love but no, women wanted to sleep around ... it's fine, A man's biology is to spread his genes around...So, it wasn't that hard to adapt to this culture...ezpz.... Marriage will soon become obsolete.

[@believewomen165]

misterrr7 can’t afford an escort 🤣

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

Happens to every female alive. Unfortunately men see women as walking, disposable vaginas.

[@gaylejean]

You're a funny dude! Lol 😆 I was widowed last April by cancer. I'm only 52 & started watching your videos to help me figure out how to get back into the dating world. Thank you for so much for such good, solid, wise advice! ❤

[@lifetobelived9102]

I'm 58 and I haven't started dating yet. One thing I did do was get my vaccines. I got the HPV vaccine and Hep A and B. Supposedly older adults don't catch HPV but I don't buy it and my doctor was willing to vaccinate me because I don't have HPV now. Also, asking for lab tests is important. I've heard too many stories about women coming out of a divorce or losing a partner then catching something when they start dating. Asking for lab tests is not full proof but a start. 27% of all new HIV cases are from 50+ adults because many are not practicing safe sex. I've met some really nice men through social groups but too young for me. Some younger men did show interest but I just let that interest slide by. I do look younger on a good day so in these cases they didn't know how old I was at first. I'm just not around that many men my age and most of the ones I meet are married.

[@SilenceScream12]

Good luck! 💜💜

[@margaretmouka5552]

Gayle Real Life & Keto you are definitely 3d then💕you have much to share

[@Tchallak67890]

sorry to hear about your loss. how are you doing now?

[@annam.3300]

Social media makes it all worse with all these trends to put the secxiest and the nakedest pics online , noone posts about vulnerable moments in life , unfortunately

[@seraphinanouveau]

"Douchebag!" 😂😂love u Matthew

[@NessaHudgensChick]

This is untrue, you could be the most accomplished, empathetic, well-rounded, animated 10D woman in the world but a guy could still want to use you as a hookup - but you have power in not allowing them to by seeing the signs that that is all they want.

[@christophermatthew7635]

How is dating and eventually marriage are becoming more and more obsolete in this modern world of infidelities, multiple partners, and gender wars.. Oof

[@sandriamarie1088]

Chuck Dude, you really need to get your stats correct. Go to the Pew Research Center for your info, not Facebook. Lol

[@aleka..]

Christopher, what do you mean by gender wars?

[@user-md1ol7nj7h]

@@aleka.. basically Feminism vs men being treated as people. Now we have MGTOW as a result

[@christophermatthew7635]

@@sandriamarie1088 Sorry to make controversy. I just wanted to get that out so that they who are in the west that are struggling with their dating live to know about the risk and challenges that they are up against. I have no intentions to create drama or anything, seeing as it doesn't concern me, I am asian after all, with no specific intel on western culture, Just from the news. Thanks for your opinion

[@professionalshooter1]

70% of divorces are filed by women that no longer need the man men have realized that the game is rigged against them in family courts why would any sane man go take a 70/30 risk of losing his shit women nowadays are not marriage material well most want to marry in 30s after 13/14 years of hard partying im red pilled by the way

[@debbiemoore2747]

As an aside please please please if a man from your past who has only seen you one way gets in touch block he will NEVER see you as anything more ladies

[@Goddessglow888]

love this advice, you look fresher and carrying a fresher vibe, spring looks good on you

[@lochtessmonsterxoxo]

Important to add that this is us doing our part to help others view us with humanity, but that they still have to make the choice to do that. If a guy wants to view you sexually and that's all, he's probably going to continue in that regardless. This video presents more of a mindset for us to use so we can weed out those guys, rather than something we can do to change their minds. I personally don't want to have to make the guy I'm seeing view me as a human being; if we didn't start there, we probably won't get there.

[@Enchanteralle]

Well said. We can't really change someone. We can be our best selves and it's up to how they take it. It's frustrating, but I just don't have the time and energy to try to convince them otherwise which I've tried doing before. But it always ends up disappointing - those guys are stuck in 2D space.

[@brinstar2551]

Poor palm tree. That was funny hahahaha and embarrassing

[@xngel_7]

Brinstar but like, also inspiring. “Don’t let people live under you!”

[@divaloca9575]

This happens to me a lot... they say "You're cute"... "I wanna see you again" but then dissapear. Annoying.

[@Ayisha4889]

You are cute , i loved your profile pic 🧡

[@sarajay5975]

Waw hookup interested

[@maia594]

But if I want to talk to him about his hobbies, he's still making sexual comments

[@KingLamarQuinton]

Lol

[@ana-maria6443]

Then he refuses to see you for your personality for whatever reason and only wants sex. I know it's a little too late but still...

[@bradyblu4794]

I am a bisexual man who found a loving relationship with a man because of your videos. You helped me greatly thank you.

[@reginavaniado8581]

Email me : [e-mail] single looking for a honest man

[@snazarix1055]

I only post selfies I have no style lol. Yet men still see me sexually.

[@disneygirl8694]

Post about hobbies, career, interests maybe? I feel like the girls I look up to post about their accomplishments, so I post my college stuff rn once in a while when I notice my profile looks a little vain from just pics of me

[@JaneMoon_6]

@@disneygirl8694 I tried posting about my interests online and also showed pics of myself doing those activities and dressed modestly. Yet I only got either sexual interest or guys who were a bit "off" mentally (sounds mean but for lack of a better term).

[@disneygirl8694]

Sorry to hear that ): confident guys can be sucky and nice guys can be too shy

[@shoniad4666]

I had got a hot guy's no. but he kept asking me 2d questions and laughed everytime I revealed one of my vulnerabilities, so I stopped the messaging n all... just sharing :)

[@littlefrog9553]

You go, girl.

[@francieodendahl9351]

What is 2D again ?

[@shoniad4666]

@@francieodendahl9351 2D is like a photo, and 3D is like a real person, 2D is more like some1 just wants 2 confirm that you haven't photoshoped ur latest fb upload, 3D is like wanting to getta know you, eg. if some1 knows me in 2d may only know from my profile that I like cooking, but some1 who really knows me will know what kinda stuff I like cooking, real friends always know you in 3D, superficial acquaintances know you in only 2d

[@francieodendahl9351]

@@shoniad4666 Thanks for the explanation.

[@joeldwest]

Francie Odendahl But the 2-d that men are interested in when they chose to NOT see a woman as 3-d , is sex and some manner of rss extraction. NEVER go Dutch or give him money. A grown man should have his own money and want to treat you like a lady

[@NofyahShemTov]

Love the new hairstyle. Let it GROW!

[@leesimone2]

Yes yes she did, we think so too...but it's funny! 😂

[@ripplesofinsight]

Of course, you're assuming that people can change the way others see them. If perception is everything, then it is not necessarily the presenter's job to give a 3D view. In fact, if someone is determined to see me only one way, then no matter how vulnerable I am, they will never see me beyond their perception (for instance my color or that I'm a woman). I try to remember that people are complicated in general. And maybe me thinking every man is only after sex is my own 2D perception that won't necessarily be changed by a man sharing more aspects of himself (especially if that perception comes from past wounds that have yet to be healed). In a very real way, it is the perceiver's responsibility to understand that people are more than what you see on the surface.

[@miliaurora1038]

Come to conservative society...Men here are not like that.... Cheating doesn't happen..only Love exists.....But one negative thing for liberal women might be that "individualism" is not accepted ....people live for their loved ones.

[@xAliceWings]

I appreciate how you gave a "male" example of women uploading only bikini pictures or sensual/sexy photos and wondering why they're being sexualized only. And it's a good one. People need to take responsibilities for their actions before they complain about the reactions.

[@angelaarsenault]

Guys aren't interested in my goals and dreams for the most part. Although, what you said about the things we complain about are the things we are most powerful in - that hit home. Thank you!

[@selmathornton5489]

I dress modestly. I talk about modest things. I don’t bring up “racy” topics. And no bikini pics. I don’t even post selfies.

[@djskslsksmdmsm]

“ yeah douchebag cause it’s all you ever talk about!” lmao I’m dead

[@billylenz1070]

Every single boyfriend I've had Always ends the same We talk for a bit and not so close friends He talks more and invites me out becoming close friends They use me Then they ghost me

[@BrotherTree1]

Some people may understandably hate and feel intense anger to hear this but I'll just say it because the intention is there to help people explore themselves and to improve and embrace their lives and be kinder to others. Complaining about something is usually a projection of yourself. So when your complaining about needs or wants to someone else, you're actually subconsciously "telling yourself off" for not doing more of that. Just adding that in there to further bolster Matt's brilliantly explained answer. Self-awareness is absolutely key to unlocking yourself and embrace your strengths as well as flaws, weaknesses and insecurities. There's no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of it, albeit understandable resulting feelings (explore these feelings, process them, talk about it, and gind resolutions for them to help you let go of these troublesome thoughts and emotions). Again if others shit on you for it, they're projecting THEIR problems/insecurities more than you being the problem itself (unless you fucking hurt them intentionally, delibrately or something). Showing your "best" isn't just onlt the best... it's the whole part of you. That's true beauty, inside and out in my opinion.

[@nellynel3027]

BrotherTree1 I love this!

[@joeldwest]

Chuck That is Because we let The filthy rich have it all by voting for The stinking right-wing, especially Men! You want to be bullies and you got left behind. The right is wrong and The left is right. Men can keep on killing themselves if The only way they WANT to live is by stepping on some woman’s back.

[@shereent3121]

It seems like many Men have their mind set on hookups these days on the dating apps. I found from wasted dates that there's no changing these type of Men. If they put they are looking for either casual, or long-term relationships, it just means they're looking for casual with a good girl. Taking it slow and/or seeing where it goes are both intentional, and unintentional hookup lines, with outcomes of them wasting your time that you've invested with them, that's got you hooked. I found that unless they're specifically stating they're looking for a long-term relationship, they're just going to waste your time. A guy willing to put himself out there and look desperate, is a Man that is seriously all the way ready to be committed, a Woman that is willing to accept a Man that appears desperate is a Woman who's ready to be all the way committed. It sucks having to skip through cute guys. With very few people really stating they are looking for something long-term and serious it's hard to make a match with that small of a selection of serious guys, especially when a lot of them are scammers and that's why they have their profile that way, with so few being a serious long-term match it's unlikely you're necessarily going to have the same things in common especially with so many sports-loving TV homebody guys these days being the only long term matches. I'd say dating apps can be both good and bad for your validation. It's a matter of learning to choose wisely, and if you end up going out with that cute player guy, get a free dinner and drink then break it off. It's kind of fun paying them back for the type of person they are. If you're seriously looking for the love of your life, you can not expect that to be a simple search though. However learn tips and tricks so you don't waste a lot of time heartache and giving up then going back to these dating apps. If you watch TV most your time do you want someone watching something way different then you. If you like, or have an interest in going to be in the outdoors and being adventures, do you want a homebody? This is all important in compatibility, not just someone being friendly, a lot of people are in half a** unhappy, or half happy marriages where they don't have a lot of things in common, put your priorities more on the long-term, then trying to fit in being married like other people. When people are looking for two different things as far as being serious goes in a relationship, just as much as you're trying to get them to be more serious, is just as much effort they're trying to get you to be less serious, until you finally separate all the way apart.

[@tayl2991]

I’m 30, had sex with 4 guys over the course of almost 2 years, and have never had a Boyfriend, even though I want a real relationship, not FWB. I had FWB because at the time I was interested and thought it would be fun, and while I was interested in actually being in a relationship, he had gotten out of a toxic relationship and didn’t know what he wanted, so could only offer FWB. After he killed the friendship when he got a girlfriend, I’m even less confident I’ll ever find a Boyfriend and will only be wanted as a short-term fuck buddy. Also, I was a virgin until I was 28, and my sexual exploration happened off and on between March 22, 2022 and September 14, 2023. FWB was April 28 2022-January 31, 2023 and February 6th he texted me to say he met somebody and was dating her, so when he dropped me off at the C-Train on Jan. 31st, that’s the last time I saw him. The first and second man I had sex with both have children, the other two do not. The first man told me about how much he wanted to be with me and whatever, and I’ve only seen him 4 times between March 22, 2022 and today. Third guy was a ONS and the fourth is actually a good friend who really doesn’t know what he wants and isn’t all that interested in sex, but we’ve done it twice. I want something real; I want a monogamous boyfriend with real dates and sex. Problem is either everybody in my age group is taken or only looking for casual sex, so I feel like I’m not good enough for a man to want to take seriously. I also have Autism, ADHD, I’m on Disability, I have a job, I pay Rent, Utilities, Groceries, my Phone Bill, and I live with my Mom.

[@Itsyagirllizzy69]

This is been my question for a long time I swear men only see me as a casual hook up and I attract all the bad guys and I feel like I have to give up on men and I no one likes me for me and I don’t let men define who I am. I am a independent woman

[@MsSmashone]

That’s a great way to understand it. Also you can weed out the creeps by holding off on sex for awhile 👌

[@thekatigaming]

I sent him the text that you advised to send someone if we're not on the same page and have them spend time alone to figure out what they want out of our relationship, and he was only silent for a few days, so when he texted me I thought "wow, that wasn't long at all, but I'll see what he says and if we're on the same page" so I said "hey" in response to his message and the next day he texted me about how he is thinking about me sexually and wanting to fulfil that fantasy. I seen where I stood with him and I let him go for good.

[@ella...]

Absolutely true. I've been talking to this guy almost a year now and he keeps on asking me naked photos. He got mad for refusing him. I told him my reasons but still he don't understand me. One mean reason I refused him it's because I am not his boyfriend.

[@Hollow-ty3qm]

Why the fuck are u still talking to him? He sounds like trash

[@ella...]

@@Hollow-ty3qm Don't worry we're not talking anymore😊.

[@eteold]

You strung him along for a year? Brought it on yourself.

[@patty5108]

Another great one - thank you! Yep, that's exactly how it is! Reminds me also of: how you catch 'em, is how you keep' em.

[@tiasantos6585]

I feel like this all the time men just think I’m a sex object because apparently I have a sex appeal and my body is fit I don’t know what to do 😭

[@starzintheskyz4477]

Now with my experience, I've gone on dates and have talked about people and experiences that have been important to me and every single guy just doesn't pay attention doesn't care and just starts talking about himself. As if everything I've said goes in one ear and out the other. No matter how 3D I make myself I still always get viewed as just a sack of meat to use for a night or whenever is that their convenience. I wish all men were like Matthew. There's something seriously wrong with the male gender these days. The lack of empathy and compassion and listening skills are the biggest problems. Been dating for 7 years and have yet to meet someone that I could even call a boyfriend even for short-term. Approaching 40 and about to give up and become asexual at this point.

[@CarmsPinto]

What if we don’t post bikini pictures and guys just keep looking for me in a sexual way? 🙂just photos of myself smiling, that’s it😒

[@eltedelarosa]

I stopped posting pictures with my bodies for a couple of years by now. There are news, education videos, my artworks, quotes, animals family pics. No man likes or comments on my posts at all. What now...? Thank you for the vid anyways. I'll share this too.

[@carriemitchell4745]

I wear jeans and a t-shirt. I get hundreds of men that ask for sexual favors. Crazy strangers

[@susanruark3443]

What about your best friend that you have had for 37 yrs. Telling you he loves you and always wished you were his!! Then when you are his he leaves and goes to another town and will not take your calls. What does that make me? I feel like crap and I don't matter and he knows how my life has been!!!! Explain That Please!!!!

[@LPRN615]

I’m just being lied to at first, they keep out the sexual stuff, they say they want a relationship, we wait to be intimate and they hang on until we get to that point, then they leave.

[@emmy-tester]

YES, he doesn't really address the level of lying/pretending someone will go through to get you in bed, then suddenly you only get booty calls.

[@punkrockmetalqueen92]

This is why I try to avoid constantly putting selfies on Instagram, but at the same time I must be doing something wrong because guys still see me sexually often times. I have a huge heart and I always wonder why that is not seen

[@joeldwest]

Too Many guys Are too scummy. Even if you don’t want a family and kids now, Talk about THAT a lot and if they don’t want that, maybe women need to start loving each other more and leave Men to their fucking-around diseases and other Men.

[@mahaalotaibi8352]

My mom always told me to not go clubbing or late nights they all see you as sex object only. Sadly women who are night owls and love being extroverts are shamed for it. I truly never intend to go out for men it was always with friends to have fun and dance! And hey its easier to meet single men outside than at home?! My question is is it better to find someone at night events, day events, or online dating?? Tbh online for me is worse theres no spark and it kills the mystery of meeting new person for the first time in public.

[@khanelisa]

I’ll be honest... I took a break from watching your videos... but as usual I needed to this! You pulled me back in Hussey! Loved this!

[@sandraklein2651]

I liked your take on how men perceive women. However, being a single, educated, refined and I am also considered a very attractive woman, I find it quite disconcerting in that most men seem to just want sex. I don"t flaunt nor dress in a overtly, sexually, suggestive way. I am always neatly and fashionably dressed and present myself in a well-groomed, feminine manner.

[@danterain8520]

ARE U VIRGIN

[@powerrogue8410]

Sandra Klein ARE YOU VIRGIN ?

[@marianapretti19]

I don't share sexy photos on Facebook, and guys look at me and either see a one night stand or a girl they literally won't touch. I don't understand, I mean, in a way I do, I don't touch people, and I am aware my stare is a bit intimidating. 😂😂

[@gabrielav4986]

If I was that girl who jogged past at the start- you better believe I am running RIGHT back around and handing him my number, I’ll add a cute joke about that pile of leaves or something! 👀😂 (ps. Fantastic video)

[@Vladimyrful]

Because you sleep with them immediatelly and not stating: "listen I don't do hookups, never have, thus I have a rule: I don't sleep with guys in first :x amount of time: ". Guys who are interested in having a relationship with you won't mind, guys who are just looking for sex will leave immediatelly. You cannot, I repeat *CANNOT* buy commitment from a guy who isn't interested in committing using sex. Case closed. Hopefully I wasn't too harsh but I lament modern women weren't taught this by their mothers/peers. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[@amnbvcxz8650]

And then there’s noone left who is looking for a relationship. All just want a temporary fun and distraction

[@madelinerose-m4q]

This is so good. Been following you for about 4 years now. Time flies

[@MsLaBajo]

Omg omg omg This is my latest realization, I was just telling my fiend I felt this way about all my prospects.

[@Illfection]

I think this just changed my life. Thank you!

[@charlottelee259]

I’m not sure about that. I have a lot of healthy hobbies like hiking and fitness training. I post different kinds of photos to social media such as travel, fitness, food and me with pets. I only have one bikini photo posted but guys still look at me as a hookup....

[@Soouber]

Thanks Matt, for validating what smart self respecting women already know. Why some ppl even asking that is astounding, but if no one ever told 'em before, I can understand. Just self respect....ppl don't have a look at themselves deeply, probably for many reasons. Takes alot of guts to self reflect and change, ask why we do what we do.

[@Soouber]

never got those d pics, bcz always in 5d mode ;)

[@lex6819]

I've tried to meet men on Tinder and Hinge. Hinge is better - not as many weirdos. But... I don't know how to get from chat to meeting face to face. They are slow to respond, wait several days to respond, and I keep having the same conversation: "Hi how are you today" then several days later they message again "Hi how was your week." And just on and on like that. Is that breadcrumbing? If I archive the conversations does Hinge flag their profiles for breadcrumbing? I wish they would...

[@Enchanteralle]

This is so true. It makes it so much easier to reject or be impolite to someone when they are not seen as a full person. This is sadly true for online dating. One click away from passing on and blocking. It's because people don't have to take as much accountability in social media platform and keeping a distance from revealing their true self. Recently met a guy who subtly turned the conversation kind of sexual to test the water, but I held firm boundaries and not follow along. I guess he got the hint it wasn't going anywhere and he ended with a passive aggressive comment for closure. I dodged a bullet.

[@MADZOUA]

Samee

[@sarahdavies3690]

Thanks Matt, love your videos. I always try and think now , "What would Matt do/say" it's honestly helping! I'm in my 40's, and wish I'd been educated about relationships back in my 20's lol.

[@Warchild-007]

I've been following you for the past 10 years, and I must admit that this post was my absolute favorite of all time. It was funny, brutally honest and I finally felt the frustration that I have been feeling for quite some time now. Don't stop, it has now made me want to buy a subscription to your webinar. Looking forward to your next book!3🙂

[@reginavaniado8581]

T Email me : [e-mail]

[@stacieburke3530]

@MatthewHussey You're truly an inspiration and incredible man. After being with my ex fiance for 15 years and having two little girl's with him. I feel like it's all my fault my family is broken up and I want to believe love is real and I just gave my heart and soul to the wrong man and one day someone incredible will come in into my life and be everything I deserve, but it's almost unbearable to think of my ex with another woman. Holding her like he did with me and touch her like he touched me. It makes me literally sick to my stomach and I do everything I can to be strong and hold back the tears. I used to have so much confidence and now all I see is fat, not good enough and pathetic for letting a man make me feel like this. I know this has absolutely nothing to do with this video, but I watch all your videos because you help show me that I am special and worth loving. Your videos bring a smile to my face when all I want to do is sit here are feel sorry for myself. Thank you @MatthewHussey

[@AriaPringle9053]

Hun some time has passed I hope you are feeling much better. You are beautiful and great enough for any man.

[@gistfilm]

Perhaps true happiness can only be attained when we realize that nobody, no matter how great, deserves anything. We have no rights, and we are not special. Only then will life deliver nice surprises to us. Lookup "stoicism."

[@marystclair8069]

That was weird! 🤣 Matthew can we get married? You just get me!

[@jihooc9520]

Concept of Dimension on human relationship, Genius perspective to view your own life around people who see you in a certain way.

[@MonaHernandez-vk5mr]

I feel men only approach me to use me sexualiy then drop me, I don't see myself as a wifey material, I'm not an easy women but they place me in that category, they always tell me I don't want a relationship, I just want a friend with benefits

[@s.l.j8640]

Modern men… usually hot guys

[@maddyG7414]

The Palm tree leaves part. 🤣

[@isas6473]

Oh thank god. I love this. A new video 😊. ... Wow... I love how real Matt is getting in this ... Thank you Matt and the team for this new video too! ❤Love the content again 💗

[@MsMomochaLatte]

Ok so you’re preaching!!! This was so good!

[@auburnbogart-palmisano1498]

I have just found you and am consistently impressed with your incite and ablility to communicate that incite so effectively. Looking forward to being continually impressed by you.

[@VAE1986]

I'm a artist / painter and well known around my area for that . I also go to school , I work out, I post about spirituality and post pics with my family on my social media...etc I am a vulnerable person and a kind person, and my social media is public. Everyone can see it and men still use me for money and sex. So this is untrue .

[@MS-ns4ki]

I am very pretty, this will not allow anyone to want me long term bc they are scared I am going to cheat.

[@mariafernandavalerio1691]

That's is just great ! In my case people (men) always said : you look intelligent and that is scary 🙄🙄

[@silviag3798]

I can relate. I kept on getting "you're too intimidating" for the same reason as well.

[@mazzymaz6158]

In my case I get told Im always smiling. You can sort of tell the ones getting attached or attracted physically try to avoid you to prevent 3D. They want to keep you 2D, those men I start backing away from and ignoring. We got to believe in ourselves ☺ The ones who want to see is in 3D could genuinely be looking for long term relationships helping to fish out all the 2D chaser guys.

[@hopeislandful]

Maria fernanda Valerio guys find really beautiful or really sexy scary too. I get told I'm scary. Guys can get scared off easily by women so don't feel bad.

[@nghhh8452]

Matt, palm tree was hilarious 🤣...love your work and like always this is a great point.

[@thechickylala]

Bring the *HUMANITY* into the frame or be prepared to be dehumanised. 👈Yep.

[@sunshinemeadow5033]

On point! Powerful!! Not just in your lover life but in personal and business!! Major awakening for me!!!

[@TheCmacneil]

But creeps will pretend to care and see you in 3d . You have to be careful and make someone earn your trust .

[@amnbvcxz8650]

Exactly! I don’t think id he able to trust another men tell me how we have a soulmate kind connection and he loves me… but ultimately he just wants to have fun without having to date or actually love me

[@deenasubedi6508]

Hi Mathew, I think this conversation is made countless time in various forms in human history. But while you are saying again this is really great. In the past, I think people, listened to this from their family how not to be dehumanized by men or any other. But these days that touch in the families has gone missing. Great job.

[@magzsara9892]

I came here from ''Reading the Signs Tarot'' it's all about your love life and star signs, it is incredibly informative.. She doesn't take guy nonsense..

[@yanislavrusev2167]

Really valuable content by Matthew. I love how his advice applies both to men and women. It's basically a life advice.

[@brunnamclean477]

Matt you legend. This was a wake up call for me, I've used the way I look a lot as my power and yes I got seen that way. Didn't realise I was even doing it, it's a default. Thanks for the verbal slap xx

[@iamcasey723]

This is the first time I ever hear Matthew cuss! Haha, I loved it! So much wisdom in this video though!

[@CrashClubMedia]

🔥🔥🔥 Matthew is an amazing!! Communicator. When he speaks - you listen. He is such a natural at engaging an audience. His content also influences a lot of the good stuff we do over at Crash Club Media. Thanks Matthew 🔥🔥🔥

[@svenskaela1234561]

At this point I don't know what I'm doing wrong every single guy I go out with end up being lame af. They always change when I tell them I am not willing to have sex for a long time (because of some valid fucking trauma mind you) and I need to know my partner enough to completely trust them. They act like that is all cool but I know they are no longer interested. I never lead them on because I think that is a waste of time so the first thing I tell them is that I am not interested in sex. I'm 22 and I have never dated anyone. At this point I genuinely think there is something wrong with me. Am I so shitty as a person or that boring that no guy ever felt interested in me as a person.

[@misterrr7]

As a guy I will say sometimes it feels like every second girl say that they want it slow as they had trauma. (my guy friends hear the same thing from girls) So its hard to understand if its real thing or they are just fooling you around. Most cases it just feels like excuse so you move on to someone who likes you back and not wast time. Life is short.

[@amnbvcxz8650]

EXACTLY oh my! Im 25 though

[@amnbvcxz8650]

@@misterrr7lmao that’s lame reasoning and not true. You can show/tell a guy you’re interested in him, (not like no sex is a permanent thing), that you like him and still he just needs to get laid without having to stress about a relationship 🙄

[@misterrr7]

@@amnbvcxz8650 but if there is no desire whats the point of relationship? Ive been in situations where I give time and space and still nothing...so seems like guys just dont want to fall in same trap and waste their time

[@laurensouth5547]

I’m wondering if this is only happening to me because I’m not attractive enough. My closest friend met the love of her life on Tinder and it was the first guy she ever dated. She’s a model of course. I wonder if I was hotter... maybe this wouldn’t happen

[@lauren8010]

that's not it, trust me. friend was lucky.

[@53Strat]

Nah, I think being a hot girl actually does not make it easier. Allot of men simply want to fuck just as some women simply want to fuck. The 1st girl I like in a verry long time seems to be used to casual dating and I noticed she is not being honest about things. Obviously she has some other issues but I'm just going to keep it casual since I noticed that. I honestly believe that if you are less hot and a guy seems to be more invested in you and you are not having sex, you can asume its something more serious. In the end you will never know, even people you might consider hot can get screwed over allot.

[@sheilablake4858]

A nice subtle way to tell that woman to stop relying on her looks & only putting her sexual side forward. If there’s nothing interesting about you beside looks the famous quote ‘beauty fades, but dumb is forever’ comes to mind. So many women are this way, and it’s just boring.

[@joannerizzavillarin8695]

I agree! 😂

[@margaritam.9118]

It’s not about looks. It’s about a perceived value of oneself. The most attractive women sleep around the least. The most attractive men sleep around the most.

[@gistfilm]

Isn't it shallow to reject a woman for being forever "dumb"? To desire a woman with a "big brain" is just as shallow as to desire a woman with big boobs.

[@Shoosmita]

This is UNBELIEVABLE and gooooodddd Matthew. Thank you very much

[@newphaze4t370]

It's so much fun to watch MH rant a little bit. Great stuff!

[@yohonnabrewer4343]

I always wondered why men only saw me sexually but it makes totally sense.

[@georginalewis837]

Not so much now but I used to always get the OPPOSITE problem!!! In clubs etc men would always tell me that I am "marriage material" and never ask me out - and always hit on my friends instead. What does that mean?! That is still an insult!