Why Do We Hate Women After They've Cut Their Hair Off?

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[@ashleycooperpop]

Even in animated movies, like Tangled. People were mad at Flynn for cutting her hair so short, while he was literally DYING 😭

[@noreaeron]

The way that scene spoke to me as a tween though! LOVED her shorter hair. Yet when i cut a pixie i really just became invicible to all boys immediately..

[@kpoctopus]

@@noreaeron I guess you meant "invisible", but I read "invincible" and thought that was quite cool.

[@icravedeath.1200]

​@@noreaeroni was the opposite, all my girl friends had short hair.

[@naruparty17]

I always thought her short hair was so cute

[@roxassora2706]

I mean it's cute.

[@tanya_iyer]

Also with Brtiney and Doja, they have both been abundantly clear about the fact that they were tired of always having their physical appearances critiqued, controlled and sexualised, and finally shaving their heads was a means by which to reclaim autonomy over their outward appearance. And every damn time, the public's default response is "Oh yeah she's just crazy now"

[@JennieQueen-o3k]

To be fair, Doja was simultaneously endorsing nazism and defending her sexual predator boyfriend so the hate is deserved.

[@elloohno1349]

lol so true

[@p3rsianb4by]

Britney yes but doja no. Doja literally got famous due to her pretty privilege and body type: she would have faded away after Moo if it wasn’t for her fitting beauty standards. Her entire career was built off pandering to the male gaze and in turn perpetuating beauty/body standards that made other women feel awful about themselves.

[@meganoreo1839]

​@@p3rsianb4bygirl now be serious, almost all female celebrities are gorgeous and its not their fault you feel insecure about the way you look

[@p3rsianb4by]

@@meganoreo1839 it’s not about that it’s about perpetuating harmful body images, shaming women who don’t fit the beauty standard body and directly perpetuating bbl bodies

[@Ilovekirby80]

After I cut my very long hair to a bob, I will never forget when my mother told me “why would you cut off your long hair it’s the only thing that made you beautiful”. Stuck with me for years. It’s so sad how many other girls and woman have had the same experiences.

[@TonyMaynard-SD]

im so sorry

[@Shamicca]

only thing that made you beautiful *jaw drop*...im so sorry

[@anabltc]

jeez 😧some mothers plot twist: you probably look stunning with a bob and yr mother was jealous

[@thethrowawaythatstayed7055]

That is AWFUL. I’m so sorry she did that. I bet your cut looked cute af!

[@mesalouis8976]

😢

[@RedSquirrel1789]

I noticed a recent trend: people tend to call shorthaired women, who don't wear makeup and feminine clothes, queer or non-binary. People just assume that if a woman is not super feminine, she doesn't identify herself as a woman. It is really dangerous because it's so restricting for women. Being a woman is reduced to a very narrow "style".

[@jelenar1939]

Yes! I feel like it Trends to people almost feeling the need to not identifying with their gender

[@DevilFruit2000]

THISSSS!!!! I feel so seen. 😭😭😭

[@TheLunablackheart]

When I have long hair, my being a woman is never questioned. Whenever I've had short hair people start tiptoeing around my pronouns and seem to be unsure of my gender. I'm obviously a woman, my hair is just short, damn.

[@virginiaf4117]

This happened to me as well! One of my closest friends (a boy) thought I’d transitioned when I cut my hair short 😐. Also I just wasn’t acknowledged as both straight and a girl really anymore. Ridiculous

[@rica3947]

yes absoluetly! and i think that influences how many women see themselves. i think everyone should identify however feels right to them but at the same time it makes sense to question why it feels wrong for so many afab people who aren't super feminine to continue identifying as women. it feels like they themselves believe they couldn't possibly be a woman if they don't adhere to strict gender norms. in reality womanhood is so diverse!

[@meow-sr2bl]

To me short hair is a sign of confidence and independence, i think thats why men hate it, it shows a woman wont take their bullshit

[@meowcat712]

Yup, which makes her seem "masculine" therefore less fuckable

[@dachsrottweiler]

❤

[@lexileemoney6205]

Exactly. In my experience being a woman who grew up with short hair, that’s exactly true. These men are scared of the power that you can have with short hair. We are not seeking their approval. They know that our objective is not to get their approval and they don’t like that.

[@P1111-e4o]

No, it shows a damaged and mentally unstable woman that is trying to become a man

[@iztaccihuatlromeroflores2264]

Hm didnt think of it that way

[@danic2514]

I think a big aspect of this conversation that is missing is lesbophobia. I experienced men treating me like dog shit ever since I started presenting masculinely. Having short hair has meant even more harassment and close calls.

[@maloneaqua]

I was looking for this. First thing any auntie in my family says about a woman with short hair is how butch she looks unless she’s wearing makeup, jewelry, a purse, a dress, heels…. And every other feminine-coded accessory

[@marnie9063]

Can honestly say the same. Got so much homophobic abuse when I had a pixie. I was dating a male presenting person at the time which was what made it so funny (I'm pansexual but was constantly called degrading names for lesbians).

[@akashajones6079]

You can just say homophobia. Lesbians are homosexuals too.

[@madmoony6]

Yes!!! I cut my hair into a BOB in college and met my friend’s boyfriend for the first time - he seemed put off by me immediately and made an offhand comment about how “obviously she’s a lesbian” referring to me 😅 I’m bi so not 100% wrong but it was WILD They’re still together and I don’t really talk to her anymore :(

[@AM-pleistocene]

Lesbophobia is a way bigger part of this than it seems. Men's lesbophobia is obvious, but straight women's lesbophobia also contributes. The way straight women have treated me as if I'm going to make some kind of move on them when I get my hair cut short is gross. I'm bisexual so it makes me feel worse. Also I have seen some women who get pixie cuts act grossed out when people think they are gay. If you aren't homophobic then why are you so grossed out hon?

[@commiemommie9802]

Id like to offer my recent experience with hair discrimination. I am currently going through a breakup and i have two small children as a result of this relationship. My ex called child protective services on me about two months ago, when i had very long blonde hair, and every case worker was so sympathetic to me and my children and they basically dismissed any allegations against me because "oh look at this poor young woman just trying to do better for her and her kids!". I shaved my head a few days after the visit, and when the SAME workers came back for a followup they acted like there must be something wrong with me. Asking me extensively about drug use, mental health, and even my personal history with men! Like all of a sudden because i have a shaved head im a neglectful mother. Absolutely dehumanizing and very very sad to be made to feel that way by the people who should be there to help me

[@belindarocky961]

It's sad to hear that people's perception changes so harshly with appearance alone. I'd be slapping a wig on for my next visit just to not have to deal with the bs. Hope the rest of this life transition goes smoothly for you and your children 💙

[@Βασιλική-ΝικολέτταΣακελλάρη]

girrrll. I feel you.. people are Stupid. Period 😐 The amount of people that look at me like an alien when they hear I have a daughter and a master degree is Insane. And that is because I have a pixie cut and wear colorful makeup. Even my mother in law ( who loves me but is more traditional ) told me that " she was not expecting I would be such a wonderful mum 😂😂😂. Because I don't " look Norman" WTF?

[@TinaTomassen]

That’s horrible. I am a fairly feminine woman and I enjoy what could be considered outwardly/performed femininity. I love my long hair, baking, embroidery, skirts, heels etc. *but* I am also aware that the overwhelmingly positive response I get to those (nowadays. Very different as a younger child) is one factor why I do like that so much. In no way the only factor but it definitely helps. And I would be afraid of losing that support to be honest…

[@FreshFlamingo]

Okay, but being logical here, it’s not “normal” for women to just randomly shave their heads. I don’t make the rules. If someone in my life had long blonde hair and then randomly shaved it off the next time I saw them, I’d be asking about their health too, both mentally and physically. Expecting peoole to have no reaction to an act that is far outside the norm doesn’t seem productive, much less “discrimination.”

[@belindarocky961]

@@FreshFlamingo do you consider it "normal" for men to rock a shaved head?

[@rinapop2681]

So basically women just cannnot win no matter what 😔😭

[@ceoatcrystalsoft4942]

Millionaire celebrities can't win? Please don't stand up for the rich people. They have enough money to wipe the tears

[@seeleunit2000]

Such is the insidiousness of patriarchy

[@PGOuma]

Nope so DO WHATEVER YOU WANT 😈😈😈

[@Heezbungus]

yeah

[@Heezbungus]

@@ceoatcrystalsoft4942 no were talking about general women

[@Evangelin99]

When I shaved my head for the first time, two things happened that deeply shook me and made me understand my hair wasn't just hair. First, my father completely stopped speaking to and looking at me for a whole week. We were living together, eating together, and doing family activities together, so avoiding me to that level was no easy feat. It was completely intentional and required effort on his part. Second, my female cis-gender "bestie" couldn't have been meaner about my appearance. She criticized me so much and made me feel worthless, then tried to make it seem like it was coming from a place of love as a "sister" by gifting me a wig. This is not even my first hair-related drama. I'm a naturally curly-headed Latina, but since I was very young, was I used to straighten my hair to look "presentable" and or "decent". When I started transitioning from straight hair to my natural 3b-3c hair in my teenage years, my mother fought me every step of the way. She saw it as me rebelling against her. And, when I got pixie cuts after that, both my parents fought and screamed as if I was committing some sort of crime. My point is, hair is not just hair for women. It is used by society to determine your worth as a human, and I think it's sick and disgusting how it is used as an excuse to mistreat, denigrate, and insult women and queer people in general.

[@PetraP01]

I'm wondering how much is cultural overall. I live in ex-USSR country and I don't think it's an issue here to this extent. For celebrities? Definitely, but those are scrutinized for any changes in their look. But I know many women who have or had short hair and never heard them saying they got shit for it from people. Though they would absolutely see it as a "sign of bad" for queer folks, like for my ftm nephew or myself (I'm non-binary/agender, though I'm not out generally to family). But as long as they perceive you as a cis woman, short hair is fine. I'm sorry you went through that with your family and "friend" though, that sounds awful.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Dislike for using Cis. There are only 2 Sexes, everything else is made up by Narcicissts.

[@haircutexperience]

@@PetraP01 Totally agree and was not covered in this video. Look at central Africa and other countries and cultures where short hair or shaved on women is just as "normal" as long hair. This views are mainly a western world society issue where long blonde hair is glamourized! I also believe if you live in a large diverse city vs a small conservative, having short hair as a woman is going to be completely different!

[@siwekcat]

I have a buzz and people ask me all the time “when are you gonna grow it out?” Like I can’t just exist and have short hair

[@jelenar1939]

Yeah same. When i meet someone new I always get asked, how I looked "before" I cutted it.

[@milanakravchenko546]

my parents do this all the time!!! i had buzz cuts and super short cuts for around 3 years and would get asked when i planned to grow it out "for variety". i recently did grow it out because it became annoying to maintain and feel like a failure because i 'gave in', even though it has nothing to do with anyone else.

[@guacamole-cult]

Yup... as a girl with a pixie now, the way you immediately become invisible to men is fascinating-- and honestly refreshing in terms of being left alone in public😅 And yet, people still make all kinds of assumptions about me at first meeting because of the haircut. Thank you for making this, it's so important to be reminded that at the end of the day, its just hair, and it's YOUR hair, public perception be damned.

[@W-I463]

No?​@HalideHelix

[@seeleunit2000]

​@HalideHelix... Whatever incel

[@jackie_nicole]

I impulsively cut my hair into a pixie last month and it is SO NICE.

[@Starfuzzii]

@HalideHelix Dude go read your bio then come talk to us again about edgy.

[@cronchyskull]

I've had a pixie for the past ten years, and yep. 😆 Now I'm growing an asymmetrical bob with a shaved side, so I don't imagine that will change anytime soon.

[@toltorg]

Anything women do is devastating to men/society. Use it as motivation to live your dreams.

[@lockheart619]

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@morgleaf]

i’ll never forget this comment!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!

[@m.k.9572]

Love this

[@RuanMei_SocietyGenius]

Destroying male gazing queens

[@furrycheetah]

You reminded me of a song title Dangerous Woman from Ariana Grande

[@liyanaaaa]

I’m an Indigenous woman who works amongst senior executives and I refuse to cut my extremely long black hair to fit the colonial expectations of what professional hair looks like. We were stripped of our hair in residential schools. Hair is sacred, it is our connection to many things and this practice was ripped away from us fkr a long time. My hair is my small piece of resistence and reform!

[@sirrenakern7888]

Me too!! Haven’t cut my hair 💇‍♀️ in years and never will.

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

NOW THIS is a true icon

[@FireSilver25]

I love that for you! I’m also Indigenous but I got tired of being expected to have long hair, and I have so much it was exhausting to take care of. I rock a pixie and it works for me. I have other ways of connecting to my culture.

[@larissabrglum3856]

Rock on

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

right on dude, i have refused to cut my hair except for maintenance and getting rid of dead ends for the exact same reason. i struggled with femininity and gender for the longest time and looked to colonial masculinity as my guiding star, even though it made me feel worse and was harder to maintain. when decolonizing myself and my internal biases it felt so freeing to have hair long enough to properly braid it. i have other ways i can rebel against colonial femininity and gender norms while staying connected to my ancestors and having what they couldn’t, like colourful bold hair dye and masculine clothing for example.

[@j_____p]

Recently there was an assault case in South Korea where a man attacked a woman because he thought she was a feminist due to her short hair. In Korea right now short hair for women is strongly associated with feminism as Korean feminists cut their hair short or decide to not wearing any makeup to reject traditional beauty standards and male gaze. I only wear sunscreen when I go out, too. Women's hair is definitely political. Not just hair, but women's entire existence is political, which is both stressing and hilarious.

[@violettahaun7496]

someone in the comments already said this, but short hair makes you invisible to most men in public and it fucks so much. It's like a natural repellant against the types of men you wouldn't wanna date anyway haha

[@haircutexperience]

Win/Win then

[@mo4tu]

Hahahaha totally! I could not explain what was happening when I cut my hair short, also had a side cut. These guys was not even close to me😂 but most interesting people came to me when I had short hair. It was like I was get rid of a big courtain in front of my life😊

[@lulubananas-xx5zm]

The power of a pixie can ressuscitate people from the dead, because when I cut my hair my ex - whom I had blocked - e-mailed me asking why I cut my hair short.

[@MsMusicalways]

That’s damn hilarious 😂

[@SmartStart24]

Lmfao true tea!! 😂

[@dlklk09]

What was he expecting u to say???💀

[@cateyu5547]

He still was entitled to you and your appearance. I imagine he felt betrayed that you changed it. Probably good that he’s in your past

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

EMAILED?!??😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@korva_puusti]

because men think we exist for their personal fulfillment. that's it.

[@moapchan1905]

No one cares if you cut your hair short, but it is less attractive than long hair. Get over it.

[@korva_puusti]

@@moapchan1905 we actually don't exist to be attractive. hope that helps.

[@moapchan1905]

@@korva_puusti I dont disagree with you, if you want to cut your hair short and be less attractive then go for it.

[@Reirawrrr]

⁠@@moapchan1905that is the stupidest logic ever. Literally HOW does having short hair make a woman unattractive. Some women’s face shape & a bunch of other qualities PREFER short hair. You’re so braindead it hurts.

[@aliteralant6027]

@@moapchan1905are you basing attractiveness on YOUR standards? who are you even ever even? 😒

[@pomegranatepips2783]

When women want to cut their hair short, it's always "short hair is SO hard to maintain, it's so hard to style, it's a lot of work" etc etc. Of all the men you know with short hair (most of them, probably), how many tell you how hard their short hair is to maintain? How early they wake up to style it? How hard it is to 'make it work'? Or is this just another way of encouraging women to maintain an 'effortless femininty' in patriarchal eyes?

[@LizzylovesLobo]

i agree 100%!! lipglossssss on tiktok touched upon this when she made her video discussing wearing her natural hair out, how having short hair isnt “hard” but instead how people tell u u need to manipulate your hair in a certain way to look “presentable” aka just fit in with society’s standards

[@cheerupbaby7792]

​@@LizzylovesLobolipglosssss was truly that girl. She will be missed 🤧😭😭

[@jaredwallace219]

As a mostly bald man who keeps what's left very short, my hair care routine takes about 0 minutes every morning. Short hair is infinitely easier to maintain

[@oceladeb]

This !!!

[@Tessa_Gr]

I used to have almost waist-length hair until I cut it to around bob-length. Now my hair is mostly between bob-length and shoulder-length. Washing my hair has become so much more easy, I can't believe I didn't cut it way earlier. I almost dreaded washing my hair (bc I'm an extremely lazy person), and now it's much easier and dries much quicker. And brushing your hair is so much quicker. The only reason I won't cut it shorter is because I want to be able to keep it out of my face and to keep my ears warm in the winter.

[@agayrius]

26:30 "Mahsa Amini" was a member of the Kurd ethnic minority in Iran and her Kurdish name was Jîna Emînî. That was what she actually went by - the name her loved ones called her and the name that is on her gravestone. "Mahsa Amini" was her legal name simply because the Iranian government does not allow most Kurdish names to be officially registered. And Kurds with the few Kurdish names the government does allow still face increased discrimination, so a lot Kurdish parents choose not to give their children obviously Kurdish legal names anyway. Jîna Emînî being a Kurd was a huge factor in the violence she faced, so the least we can do is acknowledge her heritage and call her by her own name. ❤

[@strawberryynoodlesauce]

I think about her a lot because ppl still say women don’t face issues because of our gender, our biology.

[@bunnylacy2097]

Thank you for commenting this. I had no idea.

[@Aa-np8np]

So funny bcz in Japan short hair girls are far more popular, especially during school. The moment I cut my hair short suddenly so many boys in my middle school were attracted to me out of nowhere. Even the most popular actresses in Japan have short hair. I moved to North America and I was surprised to hear what my male friend said about my female friend who cut her hair short. He said something like “she shouldn’t have cut her hair, she looks like a dude now” when it’s none of his business. I honestly feel like there’s more freedom in Japan in terms of fashion, like guys can put on makeup and wear cute clothes, girls can cut their hair short and be tomboyish or adopt extreme feminine style if they want and almost no one judges - at least among young generation in Tokyo.

[@rebeccagibson7881]

that's so adorable

[@rudolphtheteddy9644]

I’ve always noticed how men will react to me dyeing my hair because I am a natural blonde and take advantage of that by regularly trying fun colours like pinks and greens. When my hair is blonde I will always be in the talking or flirty stage with a guy, then I will dye my hair and he will lose interest. This has happened several times with several men…. weird how much they care about what my hair looks like and how it can completely change their idea of me.

[@Pattii248]

I dont have this exact experience, but i have colored my hair blue on and off and the men behave so differently. With brown hair man randomly hit on me and they dont with blue hair. Actually i think strangers avoid me more in general with blue hair lol

[@SmashedSTH]

I've had blonde, brunette, black and really bright red (like 2 shades lighter than Jordan in this video) and i've noticed no change in behaviour from men, neither does my boyfriend mind. But I think it might be because those colours are still in the norm, even the red, it's the most normalized colour out of all unnatural haircolours. I think it also might make a difference if the fun colour is more typically "feminine" like red, pink, purple or "masculine" like blue and green, which could be less attractive to men. I'm not sure though, since i haven't had these colours.

[@larissabrglum3856]

That's honestly a great way to filter out the men who aren't worth it

[@VampireClubDJ]

For real! I've been dyeing my hair black for a long time, and most of the time, no one thinks anything of it...UNTIL I mention I'm naturally blond. I don't know how many times people have pouted and asked, "Why would you ever dye over your natural blond?!" as if it's a problem that I've chosen that I want dark hair instead. Luckily, though, most of the people I actually like to be around instead are surprised I'm blond because the black hair looks so good on me 😝

[@belindarocky961]

​@@Pattii248note to self: dye hair blue 💙 lol

[@noellevalla8122]

I feel better with short hair. Sexier, prettier, less overwhelmed by my hair.

[@en2336]

Agreed, hair is too long when it's wearing you and not the other way around!!

[@anabltc]

Same! And it's practical af... The only thing, that haircut has to be fresh, otherwise it looks unkempt. There's more "wiggle room" with long hair. Other than that, short hair is fire

[@Ladolcevitaprincess]

Yes its better when its not that short like pixie cut i dont what this video point is they just have bad haircuts thats it

[@manuproulx2764]

​@@anabltc 🎉 You got that right :). Short hair rocks!

[@jaimebarkley6001]

Yes! I love not hiding behind my hair, it gives you an authentic confidence. People also notice your individual facial features more rather than just seeing a general long haired female ideal.

[@katarinkasweet]

I strongly believe that beauty standards exist to keep women occupied with their appearance, instead of focusing on their careers and advancing their lives. I realised this recently when I went to a lecture of a guy that started his business when he was 13. And what I was doing when I was 13? Worrying about my skin, my small boobs, my big ass, cellulite...

[@evamaudoux3337]

Naomi Wolf has written exactly about this in « The Beauty Myth » if you’re interested on learning more about that !

[@korva_puusti]

we can't run from attackers in high heels

[@shaneking5246]

This is actually true lol I watched a doc about it and I believe it started in the 1800s. Men actively looked for things and activities they could give to their wives and daughters so that they stay occupied all day and don't think about emancipating. Voila, ✨FaShiOn✨ was born.

[@cl5470]

Maybe a little, but it's really about men believing that a woman's main focus in life should be doing things that make their weiners wiggle. It's that simple. They believe their genitals are more important than your time.

[@hadleigh4197]

@@shaneking5246 name of the doc?

[@dachsrottweiler]

I miss the 90s. Lots of women, celebrity or not, had short hair and it was feminine, normal, appreciated, respected: Meg Ryan, charlize Theron, Demi Moore, Winona Ryder, Christy Turlington, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Ashley Judd, Toni Braxton, Halle Barry, JP Smith, Linda Evangelista, Jennifer Leigh Cook, Jamie Lee Curtis, Bridget Fonda, Sigourney Weaver ..just to name a few. Oh, and dont forget our beloved Marylin Monroe never wore her her below her shoulders and she was and is a symbol of femininity and se*

[@katec9893]

Yeah it's interesting how women in the 40s, 50s and 60s usually had short hair and how back then it was seen as feminine. The beauty standard changed to favouring thick long flowing hair around the early 2000s. I feel like it's maybe connected to capitalism as they can sell all sorts of shampoos, conditioners, styling creams etc to create that look which isn't easy to maintain for a lot of women.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Marilyn is THE SYMBOL of abuse by the Entertainment Industry and bring with mfn wayyyy below her status and Intellekt. She is to me only a tragisch Warnung of how not to live. And her face was mid at best without make up.

[@haircutexperience]

@@katec9893 Intriguing isn't it? Same with why women shave their legs/ armpits and the origins. It started with a razor company pushing this to get more sales and it worked! And today it's just a normal thing and considered "gross" and unacceptable in society if a woman doesn't conform

[@ruth649]

​@katec9893 My mum told me that when she was in high school in the early 80s, cutting your hair short was just the normal thing that almost all the girls did as they grew up. Apparently she only had one friend who kept her hair long, which matches the fact that I know lots of women my mum's age with short hair, but only 1 or 2 my own age.

[@ImmortalBroken]

1999, when Keri Russell cut her hair. I think that might be when it changed. She got death threats.

[@madd7e]

under a true crime video, a man commented he didnt feel that bad for the woman who was m**ilated because she wasnt that pretty. he doubled down that of course he would feel worse if a hot woman died rather than an ugly woman. straight up. pretty privilege is real.

[@madd7e]

it was one of ewus latest vids about a woman found in a cooler, who passed away and was resuscitated to be further used. literally insane

[@crumbsintopebbles]

I SWEAR ppl low-key grieve when a woman cuts her hair.

[@moapchan1905]

Because its a gigantic mistake and most women will regret it horribly and have to cope with videos like this until they grow it back out.

[@amethyst0ne]

@@moapchan1905only one coping is you 😂

[@el972]

@@moapchan1905damn babe stop spreading your misogynistic views to people no one asked

[@FeeESC]

'she was such a beautiful girl😞'

[@crumbsintopebbles]

@@FeeESC "You had such pretty hair, what happened??? 😰"

[@diamcole]

For black women, I've noticed it can be a little different. The 90s/early 2000s pixie cut is damn near iconic - think Toni Braxton, Kelly Rowland, Halle Berry, etc. but the expectations around how you present with that pixie cut is very different. Typically the expectation is that you're not rocking a TWA or fade, definitely not natural. That's, very generally, more likely to get pushback (ex. Doja Cat) as it's often seen as "masculine". And that's just a whole other can of worms.

[@cupidlaya]

As a black girl it’s not the same because it isn’t our natural hair texture with these 90s styles. Black women are known for adding weave to their hair so the style isn’t seen as permanent or as daring as our white counterparts. But, with 4c hair like Doja Cat or Jada Pinkett Smith you can see the amount of backlash a black woman would get if she cut off her hair in its natural state- idk just my thoughts.

[@diamcole]

@@cupidlaya Yup, that's why I mentioned natural hair kind of being a no-no when it's short. The expectations for maintenance are different.

[@alainalaniese603]

i also thought about rihanna’s short hair cuts. her hairstyles were seen as iconic

[@diamcole]

@@alainalaniese603 YES! Her haircut during the Umbrella era had us in a chokehold. I cut my hair into a pixie for the first time after seeing the music video.

[@sorryistari]

Was looking for a comment like this lol but yes exactly texture plays a huge role! Esp since so many early 00s black it girls never had tighter curls with short hair. I’ve had long looser curly hair for years & cut it when i became an adult cuz of heat damage and though im fully natural now (besides dyeing) i still get compliments for my hair but mainly from older black women or non black girls “wishing they had hair as curly”. Very funny to see the hair trend changes of hating & hiding how curly it was in the 00s with perms & heat styling to the mostly natural movement now though people still expect you to style it in some way or you’ll look “unkept”

[@neonradius]

I haven’t watched the video yet, but one thing I’ve noticed since shaving my head (which I love, it’s my favorite haircut I’ve ever had) is the sheer amount of women who come up to me and compliment me, then lower their voice and say “I could never do that, my head is too weirdly shaped”. It’s incredibly common, I never realized that people were this insecure about their head shapes. So if you are insecure about your head shape, don’t worry: you are not alone in your struggle ❤ On a more serious note, people are incredibly weird about it and I’m not even a celebrity. when someone’s asks me “why did you decide to go for it”, just “eh, I felt like it” is not a good enough answer for some people. It’s like everyone’s waiting for me to admit I had a mental breakdown or I’m joining a punk band. And I’m a lesbian, a soft butch as the kids say, so while I face more discrimination for being more visibly gay (like someone yelling “dyke” at me from their car, which no joke, happened the day after I shaved it), at least people will accept “I’m a lesbian, dude” as a valid answer to cutting your hair. If you’re a straight woman who buzzes her hair, you had better have a friend with cancer you’re supporting or else people will think you’re some kind of weirdo Edited for spelling, I spelled punk band as pink band, but tbh I would join a P!nk cover band

[@arariddley3314]

And I bet you got the 'but your hair was so beautiful" half-assed comment. As if your looks were tied to how long your hair is. My hair isn't a pixie, but I have an undercut and even THAT had people in a scuffle.

[@formlessdivinity]

Sorry that someone yelled at you :(

[@neonradius]

@@arariddley3314Luckily I’m one of the only people I know who didn’t get a comment like that, but that’s because I hated my long hair so much that most days I put it in a bun and shoved it under a hat anyways. But even then it’s a bit funny how for years I’ve hidden my hair as much as possible and complained about it, and people who I’ve know that entire time and told how much I hated my hair STILL assume that I cut my hair off as an impulse (I get jokes like “Haha, you let the intrusive thoughts win, huh?” or “Let me guess, breakup?”). It’s like people are incapable of realizing that a woman can make a sound decision to cut off her hair. “Long hair is just sooo pretty, they must have only cut it off because they’re having a mental breakdown, that’s the only reasonable explanation, no way she just actually liked it or anything”

[@neonradius]

@@formlessdivinityThanks for the sympathy, although at this point I’ve gotten used to it, I live in a college town in the midwest so it’s 90% frat boys who are only yelling from their car window because they got dared by their friends to

[@katisonmars]

yes yes yes! I was literally opening the comments to say this EXACT same thing. For myself though as a femme lesbian I notice that people almost get irritated that I had the nerve to shave my head like a more “masculine” lesbian would do but then continue to dress and express myself otherwise in an extremely feminine way. Its like it confuses them that the stereotype that they picture for us is indeed a stereotype and queer women come in all different shapes and sizes and styles. It’s like many other commenters have said, people (namely men) don’t like when women don’t fit into the ideals that THEY created and they can’t place them. I personally love it about myself that I mix masculine and feminine traits as I’m sure a lot of other women do. Besides, regardless of what others think I will always think about the time i overheard a little girl look at me and then say to her mom “she looks SO cool”. I’d rather be her example that she can do whatever she wants than fit into peoples expectations

[@dieSterbendeGiraffe]

A buzzcut really gets men off your back. It's been 8 years since I started shaving my head and it's so nice to be invisible to men (apart from my husband, lol). Also, long hair is a sensory nightmare

[@s.9899]

I can absolutely relate. I love feeling invisible on the streets, honestly. And the amount of people grabbing long hair just because it's there and they want to touch it, it's the worst! To this day no stranger has ever tried to run his fingers through my buzzcut. My husband and me, however, do it on a regular basis - I would've never done that with long hair since it is fine and gets tangled easily. Now I feel free!

[@londonh1800]

⁠@@s.9899also have a shaved head for years now. I have friends who ask politely to feel it freshly shaved and it’s fine, but I also have had elderly women pat/touch my head while complimenting it even though I gave no indication they could touch me. Maybe it’s a southern US lack of boundaries thing.

[@s.9899]

@@londonh1800 Oh wow, interesting. Me living in a middle/northern european country might make the difference, even though the touching of long hair was happening a lot.

[@londonh1800]

@@s.9899 I think that southern US has its fair share of conservative populations, and while I have a shaved head, I am white/young/somewhat conventionally attractive, which imo has helped me socially be considered fine to have short hair. I run into more problems once I share being lgbt+ and other things that most conservatives do not accept, like the whole “you can have one but not more out of line.” It’s really a 50/50 chance I’ll have a bad interaction though, and it’s certainly gotten better over the past few years in niche ways.

[@londonh1800]

@@s.9899 if I present masc though, I never get bad interactions because I’m ignored by those who would give them to me, so I relate to that point and am happy if I also wanted to be masc that day.

[@surusweet]

I don’t understand attraction in someone’s looks like I literally do not see people as ugly until I find out what kind of person they are. Nasty, negative, bad people are ugly to me, don’t care about their looks.

[@outfitsbycharlotte]

people are so unnecessarily protective over hair, as someone who's had everything from a pixie cut to waist length hair, the difference in treatment you get is absolutely insane

[@Patchouliprince]

Attractive people making more money was something I noticed working in the restaurant industry. Severs who wore makeup always made more tips. It was sad because some of the women weren’t the kind of people who even liked makeup but would wear it during shifts on times they really needed the extra income

[@boalangley]

I feel you. As someone who likes makeup (more so as a creative form of expression), beauty standards are inevitable. You’ll still get cancelled for not doing makeup the “right” way (even when you’re not at work).

[@Patchouliprince]

@@boalangley I don’t think I understand your point

[@cl5470]

A study was done that showed that women who wore pigtails made the most money. It's creepy af.

[@boalangley]

@@Patchouliprince What I mean is that regardless of your motive for makeup, beauty standards are inescapable. There are also so-called “right” ways to apply makeup (the “socially acceptable” kind) in order to be more palatable to the patriarchy. Workplaces are just some examples where it’s applicable.

[@Patchouliprince]

@@boalangley Oh yea okay I’m following now thanks

[@jennybacon2429]

Follow up video - women's hair and age. How older women are treated and judged if they DON'T have shorter hair, when is it 'appropriate' to stop using hair dye and go grey, etc.

[@lauraanderson8785]

This. My mom recently turned 50 and she has long, beautiful brown hair. She asked me not too long ago if she should cut her hair short now that she's 50. I asked her why and she said that she feels pressured to cut her hair since it's expected of women around her age. I told her that she should do what she wants and that long hair was absolutely not just for younger women, it looks good and is appropriate for women of all ages. It made me sad that she even felt like that in the first place

[@NadezdaBeka]

I feel like that's slowly changing. Look how women in their 50s in Sex and the City reboot had long luscious hair. Same with celebrities. Women who can pull that off and have the hair for it shouldn't feel the pressure to go shorter.

[@s.9899]

@@lauraanderson8785 Same with mine. She managed to let her hair grow to hip length although it is very fine and not robust and the amount of snarky and envious remarks of her sisters and colleagues was insane. They all wanted longer hair and didn't have the patience for it, so they wanted to pressure her into cutting it short again because she is in her 50s. It is like she doesn't deserve longer hair because she never tried to fit in a beauty standard, hardly ever wears make up or nail polish like other women around her do. And, even worse, she never bleached or colured her hair, it has this beautiful brown-blond-greyish melange and it is still looked upon with distaste. I love my mum's hair and I will let my grey grow like she does because she looks so much herself with it.

[@sofiawannemark6858]

Amen. 👍

[@HunnyBee-w7r]

I feel like things like the Real Housewives franchise has changed the standard to now it’s expected for middle aged women to keep long hair. And it costs a fortune. Many older women used to cut their hair short not just out of some idea of what is appropriate, but because the changes in texture and color made their aging hair no longer flattering to wear long. Now it’s expected to keep it long and spend the money on dyeing, keratin treatments, blowouts etc so that color and texture also remains the same as younger hair. My coworker spends a fortune on keeping her waist length hair and it looks like it requires more frequent treatments all the time. I can’t imagine what it costs. Her colorist does do an awesome job though.

[@TaraMooknee]

as a woman who grew out a buzzcut: people treat me differently now my hair's grown out. on the flip side: I'm now read as more "straight" and feel more like an imposter in queer spaces, which is a surprising downside to being seen as more "conventionally" attractive or whatever.

[@kretzsmarsocial3808]

Damn I didn’t even consider this other side effect.. guess we cant win 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

I’m still at the pixie stage of growing out but I think if I get to that stage I might want to cut it again. As much as I get rude comments from men when I have short hair, I want to be recognized as queer for other queer people (I live in the south)

[@StarrySkies9888]

You've become a seductress that defies conventions and stereotypes! I relate as Pans and hated on by some queer people for looking straight for having long brown hair (kardashian llike). Can't help my ethnicity lmao.

[@soumiaar1356]

As a Muslim woman, when I first wore the hijab in a professional setting I was treated very differently than beforehand. Colleagues who used to be friendly with me turned cold and even my manager who was keen to put me up the career ladder left me dangling. It was so depressing I had to change jobs. No matter what women do with their hair, covering or cutting or styling it, we’ll be ostracised because we’re objectified by everyone sadly.

[@Hashbrowns-oq3eq]

@islakayso what does that have to do with her being disrespected and dehumanized? Does iran represent hijab now? Such A single brain celled argument,considering that’s not even shariah law or even compatible with islam,most muslims don’t consider what they’re doing islamic its against our doctrine of ,your religion is yours and mine is mine. So be serious now,intersectionality between your noggin and some knowledge would be better.

[@ameliasheridan6118]

I’m so sorry you went through that that’s awful!

[@cocococop6082]

Your Muslim section don't believe in women rights so thus no rights. Sorry but live by your book or become a Christian.

[@ogerpinata-nu2th]

It was the hijab not your hair. The political inclination to be more specific. Maybe it is the same with you and a Christian who wears the cross. That headscarf represents religious authority. In the West the choice is yours. A choice for the hijab is a choice for Islam. A religion as unpopular as it gets until we come to hate for Judaism. You are in that moment a representative of your faith. Whether you like it or not.

[@geelllee]

sis you got hit with the double whammy of sexism and religious discrimination 🙃

[@chunkysaur]

I still remember the negative responses when I first fully shaved my head, all of which, to my face at least, were from other young women in my social circle who had long hair. I did not expect the more intense disgust/grief-like reactions, as if I had been permanently disfigured in their eyes. Bewildering to 19yo me.

[@Aelffwynn]

Some people identify way too much with their style choices, the food they eat, etc., and they take anyone making different choices as a threat. They may resent your ability to reject the status quo. In some cases, they don't like how it looks, and they are shallow and entitled enough to think they can invalidate your decision for that reason alone. It's so weird.

[@ceoatcrystalsoft4942]

People like what they like.

[@ceoatcrystalsoft4942]

@@Aelffwynn it isn't a threat, they just lose interest. It's like if your favorite restaurant is a pizza place and suddenly they one day became a salad bar. The thing they used to like change, so they no longer like it.

[@Mirandaconklin]

😅😂😂​@@ceoatcrystalsoft4942

[@s0Shi]

@@ceoatcrystalsoft4942 but this is their (supposed) friend, not a product or store that caters to them 🤡 Point is that it shouldn’t matter if it’s about personal preferences that don’t affect them (especially with something superficial + temporary like hairstyle), weird of these “friends” to act so put off as if it were some personal offense If these people took interest because of style choices and suddenly lose all interest because of a change in appearance... that’s just sad.

[@satyasyasatyasya5746]

Its rooted in many things. The ownership of women, and how they're treated as if they only exist to please men by being pretty - short hair is 'ugly' and therefore, you're defying men. Cutting hair was and still is used to shame women in many cultures - to do so willingly is seen as undercutting that. Long pretty hair is also seen as a sign of class, like you have the luxury of maintaining that hair - to cut it is to resemble either the poors or someone who rejects the boogie fixation with aesthetics thus highlighting it. Its also just pure gender nonconformity, which cisheteropat, finds a threat. FUN FACT - In many asian cultures, cutting hair was reserved for mourning because hair was seen as a gift from your parents and you shouldn't damage it. Famously, the StepEmpress UlaNara of the Qing Dynasty in China, cut her hair to 'divorce' her husbad Emperor Qianlong (harem system), a massive taboo in those days, and we still don't know why. She was later 'removed' from history.

[@TheMask-q7l]

If men fight it attractive its degrading if men fight it disgusting its empowering. Maybe it's you

[@katyfive1]

"Long pretty hair is also seen as a sign of class, like you have the luxury of maintaining that hair " this is interesting to me because short is by far much, much harder to maintain and costly because it keeps growing

[@satyasyasatyasya5746]

@@katyfive1 You're thinking of it as it is today though. Thats not the topic at hand. Historically, where these attitudes are formed, the most expensive and difficult things needed for hair care was what? Nutrition, (warm/hot) water for washing, good combs, scents etc. The more hair you had, the more stuff you'd need, so if you could buy all that, you'd be showing off basically. Also, yes, the very poor could and would also have long hair, but it would mostly be 'handled' and out of the way, not 'taken care of' or indulged in. Thats the difference.

[@katyfive1]

​@@satyasyasatyasya5746 "Long pretty hair is also seen as a sign of class" it's not clear from your comment here that you mean historically. It also still doesn't refute the fact that shorter hair needs to be cut and maintained - I only did a brief check, but from what I read both men and women had longer hair until World War 1 - when men needed to cut it for hygeine reasons. Unless you have evidence I find the claim hard to believe. Hair grows even when a person has a poor diet. Short hair must be cut to stay short and hence is more expensive.

[@LeaveBritneyalone580]

​@@katyfive1What do you mean? Literally everyone I know said short hair was easier to maintain, only difficult thing is cutting it often

[@honestlythough7250]

Something that i think is interesting as a black woman is how hair is even more policed, i think, amongst black people. Like i can put a little less effort into my hair and still get praise in majority yt spaces, but w/ black ppl, your edges have to be laid, your ponytail has to be slick, your hair better look moisturized, your parts better be neat or you will get RIDICULED. And it takes so much effort to do anything. Getting box braids takes HOURS (like 6-8 in my experience) and its expensive and uncomfortable and some ppl get them redone every few weeks to keep up appearances. Anyway, i think this is relevant when talking abt respectability politics as well. Bc black ppl are seen as having “wild” hair often compared to animals, its a v shameful thing to not style it in a way thats v neat and intentional. Even natural hair takes a lot of effort to make “presentable”

[@scarsscars2424]

Omg yessss, I'm mixed and I never followed the hair trends, they look at you funny haha.

[@Fran-le5pk]

Not long ago I was sitting with my project uni group and one of the members was looking at my lanyard on the floor. He goes, “I remember when your hair was that short” and then says something along the lines of, “how come you did that? was it a mental breakdown?” - another guy in the group laughed along at him saying that. Like it’s just not a funny joke, why does my hair apparently equate to my mental health? It was cute short, and it was me trying something new!! man just learn to keep your gob shut!! Please!!

[@Fran-le5pk]

Additionally I am someone who dresses in a way that crosses the whole spectrum of gender. I will sometimes wear skirts, and other days I will dress in a jumper and jeans, and will seem a lot more masculine. When I cut my hair really short last year, before starting my first year of uni, I did wonder how I was going to be perceived - who will want to be friends with me? I’m in a course where there is a LOT of men. This comment is a bit scrambled, but basically I found it hard to determine whether I should just dress how I felt, or if I should add more feminine touches to my outfits because people would unfortunately perceive that as “more approachable”. I still struggle to know what to do sometimes, but I’ve definitely become more confident in myself, and feel I have my place amongst my peers.

[@Noah-yz7yx]

I swear that I've had people that don't even know me asking me if I've shaved my hair because of a mental break down 😭 that and also if I have cancer. They're putting themselves up to get the most awkward conversations with strangers lmao

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

I’ve been told so many times my haircut is a sign of mental illness. I wonder if they think any men’s haircut is a sign in mental illness or if they can just have haircuts and still be taken seriously

[@erinnadia0409]

There is this nasty meme going around social media that men are sharing saying short hair cuts should be illegal because it makes women ✨ugly✨ like again just proving we are seen as objects

[@finleyfarmer8174]

I saw this and thought maybe this video would touch on that. I had assumed that Jordan had seen it too because of how timely the video was.

[@eo0-g9j]

Are u talking about the same guy that got caught s*xually harrassing a woman at work and became a listed offender? And he wants to decides what should’ve been illegal? Ironic

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

Meanwhile the most “hot” women of all time, like pin ups, Marilyn Monroe… had very short hair.

[@catpuccinolover7237]

It's kinda the same as the one I saw but for men that said " every time a man cuts his hair and angel dies"

[@sawatee100]

After I cut my hair, I literally didn’t feel like a woman anymore. Girls that used to compliment me in club bathrooms started giving me the side eye. Guys just didn’t talk to me at all. At first, it was awful. I felt so ugly. And then it was like…is gender so fragile that something as simple as a haircut completely disrupts it? Now I’m non-binary lol. I feel so free.

[@chomskyjunior]

Me too❤

[@bigpooper4156]

YOOOO SAME.

[@InterstellarDreams]

I swear, this sexist f*cking brain rot is EVERYWHERE.. This is NOT liberating! It is extreme regressive sexism on (sometimes even literal) steroids! You were, are, and always will be, a woman! Because you're FEMALE! That is literally all it takes! And it's got absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you want to play into oppressive sexist stereotypes, or even how you "feel" about your female body! Just like you can feel any which way about being human, too, (love it or hate it), but in the end, you still ARE! It is not something you get to opt out of! Same with your sex. And ever-increasing mind-body dissociation, delusion, and denial, is in NO way empowering. Saying: "I'm so cool and rebellious, and totally NOT like those frilly, hyper feminine, glittery, pink women, thus l'm not a woman at all..? Is SO insanely regressive! "Gender identity" ideology itself is just the worst, crappiest, most sexist ideology conceivable!! You can rebel against sexist norms, WHILE still owning your sex! Which, that..? Is what's actually rebellious!! Speaking as a short haired, (I agree, chopping it all of felt SO freaking liberating, and I LOVE it!!), non shaving, non makeup wearing, not straight, not interested in f*cking random men, not self-objectifying, and just generally NOT your sugar / honey, type of woman, here.. Who definitely would have thought of myself as "non-binary" at this point, as well, had I still subscribed to this godawful belief system. But.. I no longer do! That's the thing! So I get to rebel against this idiotic sexism, and still love myself as a woman / female! I get to fully accept reality, love and embrace my body / biology, and NOT dissociate! Which is the coolest freaking thing, and also what is ACTUALLY bada@ss and rebellious! And instead of further re-enforcing patriarchal BS, by saying: "I exempt myself from womanhood, because women have to be submissive and pink, and I don't fit the bill"..? I get to instead help TRULY expand the notions of what a woman can be, by saying: "yes, a woman can also be like me! All it takes is being FEMALE!" ..Been where you're at, and I did not see it for what it was, back then. But I do now. You really should look into radical feminism, instead of this awful sh1te. And yeah, the terfy kind, obviously. Seriously, being a TERF / rad fem with no f*ck's to give feels SO much more bad@ss and empowering than being some reality denying, self denying, sex denialist "enby"! You really should try it! 10 out of 10, do recommend. 😛

[@peach6923]

I felt this. My confidence was ruined when I shaved my head because of others reactions to it and the difference in treatment I was used to.

[@Hashbrowns-oq3eq]

You’re not rocking with 01010101?😢

[@ishathakor]

i'm a girl and when i was 15 i shaved my head to donate my hair to one of those charities that makes wigs for kids who have cancer and instead of people ignoring it or saying some of that usual stuff about it being a nice thing to do or even being patronizing and going omg you're soooooo brave or whatever, they were mad at me for shaving my head. like my parents and family were actually completely fine with it (they said i'm allowed to have whatever haircut i want). and then i would meet strangers who would be genuinely infuriated that i decided to shave my head. they would dress it up with concern for how people would treat me or concern for my looks or something, or "sympathy" but they were genuinely pissed that i'd decided to shave my head. especially because a lot of them misgendered me because of it, they tried to blame me for "looking like a boy now" and for being "not pretty anymore" and so on. it's actually insane how much people care about a woman's hair.

[@amber_b1723]

I actually had cancer at 10 years old and I was always misgendered with my bald head; even with my bright pink clothes lol.

[@hameley12]

I hope this did not hinder you from having your head shaven in the future. I have met kind, fun and absolutely amazing people who had their head shaved because they felt they needed a change or go against societal rules. And they felt prettier. I could tell from their eyes and their inner energy, indeed, they still looked beautiful inside and out! Personally, I have never shaven my head. But I did cut it into a bob length back in Jr Jigh School. The rest of it also went to a children's with cancer association. The kids were horrible! The teachers, some, ridiculed me while others protected me. I told my fav teacher why I cut it off she looked into my eyes and told me "That's a grand idea! I should do that too!" Which she did. Then other teachers heard about the non-profit organization and decided to cut off their long hair. Suddenly, I wasn't the only one in the whole school with short hair. I never understood why people were so disrespectful towards others, when in fact this isn't their body. It's my body, my head, my decision to make. We should all feeel happy and confident in our own bodies.

[@weirddd469]

This is so infuriating to learn about honestly. We are humans and we should do with our hair whatever we want

[@Athena-vs4cv]

Women cutting their hair, or in the case of WoC, leaving their hair natural, is terrifying to the patriarchy because it is the physical manifestation of a woman's right to choose how they present themselves and to resist/reject conventional western beauty standards (even if that wasn't the woman's actual intention and they just wanted a cute pixie cut lol). Patriarchal society is literally revolted by such an overt show of independence and departure from the "rules" of the gender binary.

[@drunkhyena]

I've had my hair long, short and colored every shade of the rainbow, and the difference in treatment from people is INSANE. Somehow having a cavalier attitude towards hair changes is also seen as 'bad', as if there needs to be an intense and personal reason to change it. As a teen I had long blonde curly hair, and one of the reasons I started dying it was the attention it got - strangers wanted to touch it, it was the only thing people complimented me on, like I was just walking hair and nothing else. As soon as I started dying and cutting it - "oh what a waste" "how can you do that to your hair" "what do your parents think" (they hated it) "you were prettier before" "your hair made you special" etc etc. As if I was personally insulting other people by changing my own hair. I kept cutting it shorter and shorter and became invisible to men, strangers were rude to me, I got my bags searched vigorously at clubs. When I shaved my head people avoided me like the plague (it was covid so that was a-ok in my book). Now my hair is grown out again past my shoulders, and the difference between a long bob and shoulder length is like a magic trick. I'm visible to men again, strangers are nicer to me, I get compliments on how long it's getting. And this is all from a white girl! I can't even imagine the amount of scrutiny if you're a POC.

[@Blaineji]

When I was 17 I cut my waist length hair off to a pixie cut and the lack of respect from men was so disheartening :(

[@bonnielovely]

i did the exact same; it’s grown back now, and it’s longer than before. the difference in treatment cannot be understated. men show me so much “kindness” & more respect with long hair, and when it was short, it was just constant sexual assumptions & comments. the middle length was mostly ignored, like men couldn’t tell if they thought it was “okay” to think i was attractive or not

[@moapchan1905]

Men get less respect when they make aesthetic choices that make them less attractive as well, theres a reason bald men cant win the presidency.

[@mingxia3880]

same here, I cut my hair to a pixie and had a buzz cut for a while when I was a teen and now that I grew my hair out , i really did notice man are alot more polite to me in general 😂😂😂

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Decenter men.

[@razzeling_dazzeling_]

Wait wait... This starting to take a bit of a different road than I expected

[@ClementineOlympia]

I got hired for a job because of my long hair. My boss admitted this after i had been working there for several years and gotten a bob.

[@u235x00]

EW

[@CatMom-uw9jl]

🤢

[@vin_rouge180]

🙄

[@charis6311]

I can only hope you were hired for filming shampoo commercials, because otherwise...

[@user-bj7em4fv1p]

What kind of job needs long hair?? Unless you are a model or something??

[@hysteric-and-hysterical]

This reminds me of when I was in high school and Hayley Williams of paramore cut her hair short. My friend Ricci said “you can’t understand how hard it is for me to not be attracted to her anymore. She’s ruined!”

[@roxassora2706]

Yikes. If only men had to deal with this.

[@tiaslays255]

@@roxassora2706they do😂 we call them ugky all the time for balding.

[@yoonahkang7384]

He thought she was ruined because he didnt eant to f ck hrr anymore, basically jeez

[@twinkincarnate]

@@roxassora2706 they do, to an extent. they're treated very poorly if they start balding or are completely bald, compared to their full-head-of-hair counterparts

[@roxassora2706]

@@twinkincarnate That's what I meant. Most of the bald men I met have a sense of humor about it. I was talking about if their looks were central.

[@cato4670]

when I cut my hair very short I felt so pretty and confident until I realized people looked at me differently and told me I looked like a teen boy so I ended up growing it out because it made me feel so self conscious and sad. I wish I had the mental strength to not care about what people think.

[@starlight1818]

remember you can't please everyone, so you may as well do what you want. :)

[@Chunkyshoesuk]

I think women with very short hair are percieved as uber confident and threatening. Therefore people want to tear them down.

[@sliceofloving]

The internal misogyny against butch women is rooted based off of gendered-norms that force people to expect women to still be perceived as feminine even outside of heteronormative relationships. I've had that internalized misogyny towards myself when I dont think its as acceptable to be perceived less "feminine". Also the same criticism goes for when women are hyper-feminine, being seen as "cocky" or obsessed w their appearance, which is ironically just societal objectifications towards how they want others to look rather than understanding that others are different from them.

[@doda9ilovegackt]

As a queer woman cutting my hair really short was one of the best decisions of my life. Men stopped paying attention to me and women starting noticing me, a win win situation lol. Fortunately i have never been harrased or attacked for not looking like "a woman", nor this have affected my job and my life in general, i know i am extremely privileged for that. Also i have to say i absolutely love women with short hair, for me they are gorgeous ❤

[@moapchan1905]

Good for you. Congrats on living your best life and not being insecure about the perceptions of your hair and escaping the male gaze.

[@91Vault]

I present more or less butch and it feels like being on the outside looking in at the straight world and their obsession with women and their hair is both mildly amusing and kind of sad. It's really sad that society seems to think short haired woman or women who are a little masculine (cause short hair =/=masculine) are "ugly"

[@muttmania]

same here, I'm a dyke, and cutting my hair really short was a super liberating and positive experience for me

[@JessieRainbowEyes]

I remember when Kristen Stewart cut her hair short and I was like ‘oh I’m bi now, got it 👍’

[@It_is_Okay_to_be_Sad]

Accurate 😂

[@yoonahkang7384]

Omg yes i am bi only for her

[@FoxGameCZ]

Omg real, she looks so great with short hair. To me it is one of the signs that I like women only.

[@cardyn1836]

okay but fr shes gorgeous

[@littlemissmello]

This also reminds of when my mum was a little girl and she had heard sooooo many people talk about the Beatles' long hair, 1964 or so, but she didn't see a picture of them until months later and she really was like "that's it??"

[@paulinemuscatvlogs]

2:25 “Performing femininity for your own benefit” is exactly what I was doing before I just started dressing/styling for myself, I am very aware of that because I now know I’m ace & nonbinary. I realized I was dressing in a way not only bc it benefited me in ways (I was also modeling at the time) but for safety…anytime I was open about my identity I essentially was assaulted in some way whether it be verbally or physically. Now I have a pixie (getting a buzz cut Monday) & where “men’s” clothes as much as “women’s” & I feel like my true self…also have lifting weights & done kickboxing so I feel more safe. It’s a difficult thing to stop performing for many reasons

[@helen1663]

Very interesting that Justin Bieber's early hairstyle is considered 'long' on him but would be termed '(very) short' or a 'pixie cut' on a woman (or female presenting person).

[@haircutexperience]

This comment! 👆😁💯 So so true and rather weird tbh 🤨 I've seen videos where a girl cuts her hair "short" and it's to shoulder length lol. Or women saying I cut "all my hair off" And still having enough hair to tie up in a ponytail

[@rhilavender]

i would add that it’s worse for queer celebs like kristen stewart and demi when they cut their hair and are no longer seen as femininely attractive but then they’re just labeled as “cringe” so no one confronts their homophobia

[@starsneptunexx]

Same for Emma Corrin. The comments under posts about her with Rami Malek are absolutely disgusting.

[@hollystamp9375]

I felt my own internalised misogyny come out when I got a pixie cut as I found it so much harder to go out without makeup or jewellery or in less overtly feminine clothing without thinking I looked ugly!

[@madd7e]

literally, even got more picky about how my body looked, it really made me feel what i assume gender dysphoria is. it was awful

[@puffloopco]

I recently got my hair cut into a shaggy mix between a wolf cut and a Pixie cut. I felt like it fit me better as a bisexual person who tends to lean towards more masculine style choices, but I had no idea what I was signing up for when I chose to get the chop. I originally had hair past my chest which my boyfriend praised me for often, especially when I styled my curls. Me and my boyfriend have a healthy relationship and I assumed that he would be excited about the new style choice or at least support me in it, but I was surprised to find that he instead tried his hardest to talk me out of the haircut and even told me that he would lose some attraction if I got it. It not only felt like a double standard because he gets his hair cut all the time and doesn’t ever discuss it with me beforehand, but it also made me realize that everyone has a strong opinion about what we as women do with our hair. After getting my hair cut, I had people coming up to me telling me how brave I was, which surprised me because it's only hair and it grows back. My boss at work even came up to me and shared a sad story about how she sometimes looks in the mirror and holds her hair up to see what she would look like if it was shorter, she said she wishes she could cut it like that but her husband doesn’t approve and be attracted to her if she did, so she doesn't feel comfortable. I found this extremely sad to hear because I don't believe that men should be able to stifle a woman's self-expression for their own selfish reasons. The bottom line is gender stereotypes are overrated and self-expression is fluid, so be whatever makes you the most comfortable, and ignore the people can't mind their own business because it's just hair!💇‍♀

[@lizzi7128]

Ew your boyfriend is gross

[@anarchsnark]

Those critics forget that while pretty privilege does not protect you from GBV, prettier victims of GBV are more likely to be believed than less pretty victims. Less pretty victims are more likely to be dismissed 'well, look at you, you should be grateful' or 'look at you why would they touch you?'

[@_kaleido]

I remember when people were actually shocked that the creator of the MeToo movement was an older black woman :/

[@marykay7878]

SO true!!!!

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

I had a TikTok go viral that showed that I had a self defense keychain. Someone commented that I don’t need it cause of how I look. (I had a shaved head) I literally had my hair grabbed in a bar months before

[@h.davies5140]

as a girl who went from waist length hair to 'man short' hair, the switch up from other girls my age was crazy. its like some dont see me as a person anymore its insane. i still get look from men tho?

[@scarsscars2424]

lol it definitely gets you more attention good & bad

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Who cares if men look as long as they aren't a threat? Decenter men. There are wayyyy better things in life than men's attention

[@eeveeieew5471]

we're being FED this week ooooooh

[@VeeLondon1449]

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” Coco Chanel.

[@melowlw8638]

so many chanel quotes r misattributed to her, but i cant find anything on this one thanks for posting this comment bc im abt to go into a google rabbithole

[@notaspeck6104]

Ah yes, the Nazi 😭

[@PlutosTimeslot]

@@notaspeck6104 I hate it when people quote her like she's a role model lmaooooo

[@gummy5862]

That makes no sense for her to say, she’s from the 1920s. Literally EVERY woman in the time period had short hair. Long hair didn’t come back until WW2. Our modern ideal of what “long” hair is didn’t come until the 1960s from that point either.

[@cl5470]

Or she just wants a new look.

[@mayrimbas]

I went through a phase of not shaving my legs to challenge femininity standards and gave up after a couple of years. The judgemental looks were unbearable.

[@jennifermoriarty2188]

i did alot more than that over the years and very lucky enough not to care . had a hard time finding a job based on looks but once hired my work ethic changed their mind about me . they assumed the worst based on my clothes....while the professional dressed employees just didn't work at all. i still dress odd because regardless of what i do someone will complain and who cares about them

[@whitneyhendrix8075]

When I first stopped shaving my pits I thought people would say rude things to me at the gym but then no one ever did. they either don’t notice or just don’t say anything. I’m sure if it was in pictures people online would comment but I would have to go out of my way to post a picture with a certain outfit at certain angles so that hasn’t happened. Sometimes I shave them depending on my comfortably with certain outfits but for the most part I let it go and it’s so normalized to me, it’s looks weird and unnatural when I see smooth pits

[@pomegranatejelly9767]

I have long hair for the first time in my life, and I'm kind of disgusted by how much better I'm treated now. Not just having men actually listen to my opinions, everyone smiles at me more and they actually laugh at my notoriously awful jokes. And random people offer to do me favors, that never happened when I had short hair. Short hair is more comfortable for me, but I kind of just want to keep it long for the benefits.

[@brookep6086]

No because you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about Justin Bieber, I have vivid childhood memories of everyone (including myself) citing the reason they hated him as "he sings like a girl" like why did we care so much

[@aWildJellieAppeared]

Same! I also remember hearing so many homophobic ‘jokes’ speculating on his sexuality as well, it was awful

[@kasthehuman]

I experienced this but the other way around, I had a pixie cut (and I have shaved my head like 6 times), and the moment I cut my hair the first time (15yo) I got treated completely different, and now, at 24, I let my hair grow and the change has been a little weird for me, I spent 8 years with short short hair, and now that I have longer hair I have been in the male gaze in such a way that I had not felt as an adult... it's so weird, and the sexualization part is so real... too real

[@QuicklyLiquid]

i got a pixie cut when i was 12 or so! Honestly the freedom it probs gave me from being sexualized too young (i went through puberty p early, but still dressed like the child i was) was really important for allowing me to flourish without too much self awareness to other people's ideas of me. i got lucky, i think

[@shaneking5246]

Omg same here! I had a pixie for 15 years with off/on bald head and then when I hit my 30th, I was like "I'm a grown woman now I should grow my hair and look like other grown woman." I'm 35 now and I'm typing this with a pixie haha I honestly didn't like the attention I was getting with butt long hair. Don't get me started on the upkeep 🥴 I wanted to be perceived as pretty by EVERYBODY for just ONCE in my life. But 'everybody' includes disgusting men. Men nowadays are getting worse and worse. they abuse and harrass more openly without any hesitation and they face absolutely no consequences. So yes, I was everybody's type for the first time of my life and what did it do to me? I wasn't happy. I had anxiety, was always hypervigilant of my surroundings and sooo drained and exhausted because of disgusting men and women's envy. Cutting it all off was the best decision, AGAIN lol. It's funny that short hair is such a men repellent lol I know now that I COULD be commercially pretty if I wanted to. It's just that I don't want to anymore. Having a peace of mind is what makes me happy in the end and I won't achieve that with long hair

[@kasthehuman]

@@QuicklyLiquid Yes, I experienced that without really meaning to, which turned out great in my favor...

[@kasthehuman]

@@shaneking5246 ugh the pressure I also feel to be a "grown woman" (wtv that means) is too real, I still dye my hair funky colors at 24, and people do look at me weird, they make me feel old even though I'm not that old... and I also wonder if I will eventually go back to the pixie cut...

[@elevin8858]

As a woman with disabilities, I’ve had doctors literally write ✍️ n my medical records assessments of my appearance as an index of my mental health. Like when my back was injured and I couldn’t raise my hands above my shoulders without pain, she recommended I be put on mental health medication because my hair was in a sloppy bun and I wore no makeup. I’m very careful now to go to a salon if I’m about to have my competence evaluated.

[@SmartStart24]

Omg that’s disgusting!! I’m sorry you had to deal with that, totally unprofessional and gross!

[@moapchan1905]

They do the same for men, a persons grooming habits are very much indicative of their mental health.

[@elevin8858]

@@moapchan1905 I was bathed. My hair today would pass muster because I got a pixie cut, but back then it was long and my inability to do more than wind it into a bun was judged as a mental health problem not a physical condition that prevented me from doing more. And I’ve never met a doctor who judged men on their makeup application.

[@charis6311]

@@moapchan1905 Of course, grooming habits in general CAN be indicative of mental health. But someone who is actually charged with assessing a patient should be expected to have enough working brain cells to understand the difference between a person who is physically incapacitated from combing their hair and one who neglects to do so because of depression or whatever.

[@charis6311]

This is simply outrageous. How absolutely stupid can that person be? And who put them in charge of evaluating even a mushroom, let alone a human being?

[@casstellar]

This reminds me of when I got a buzzcut. Every single girl would stop me and say "oh I really want to do it too, but I'm so scared". Meanwhile, my dad yelled at me, called me hideous every time he saw me, etc. I still think it's funny how much importance something so trivial can have on how one is perceived

[@AngelusOrpheus]

19:57 ACTUALLY though your theory about Justin Beiber is so true. I remember on twitter back in the day people would constantly joke about how feminine he was, and misgender him all the time and call him a girl or “Justine” etc. I was never even a fan of him but I remember feeling really weirded out by the amount of grown ass adults that picked on him solely because he was too "femme". It was a huge part of why people hated him.

[@kawaiidragons7732]

A girl I know actively perpetuates pretty privilege. They actually said, (in reference to, not actually speaking to) about another person "it's ok to be annoying if you're pretty, but your just not so shut tf up". People do this on purpose.

[@SmartStart24]

Oh absolutely!!

[@ampersignia]

I would avoid this person forever if I heard that. I just know she has other bizarre perspectives under the hood if she verbalizes this kind of BS.

[@bunnylacy2097]

I would say that yes, some woman definitely go out of their to perpetuate it which only hurts women more and pits woman against each other more. But many woman who benefit from it are not purposefully perpetuating it or wanting to perpetuate it.

[@yellowjckts]

People thinking doja cat is a satan worshipper for literally shaving her head and changing her music aesthetic... like I thought we already went through that stupid "she worship satan !" bullshit💀

[@larissabrglum3856]

Turns out all you have to do to scare the pants off some grown adults is to dress a bit spooky. They must have a hard time every October

[@yellowjckts]

@@larissabrglum3856 literally lol

[@ampersignia]

She did start putting a lot of devil and demonic imagery into her music videos and promo work, so I don't totally blame them for jumping to the (idiotic) conclusion.

[@yellowjckts]

@@ampersignia yeah totally, it's so silly too. " I miss the old doja" she's literally still right there lmao

[@antonsummers_]

@@ampersignia In fairness she started doing that after the conspiracies as a response

[@alexkl6084]

as a butch nb lesbian i have sooo many thoughts about this, but i just want to add a story that when my great grandma (born in 1913) was a teenager and wanted to cut her hair short bc of the 20s trend, she had to beg her parents to let her, and when they finally relented they kept her long cut off braids in a drawer?? so strange the ownership parents, partners etc feel over women's hair

[@ninny_alt]

the ownership of hair thing seems weird to us now, but it makes a lot of sense for them to do to keep hair back in the day. hair itself is essentially dead, so it was regularly a keepsake to remember deceased children and loved ones often in lockets, especially in the 1800s but still practiced

[@lizzi7128]

I have kept my Dad's hair. My mum has kept a long lock of my hair from when i was a child. I think it's quite beautiful. I hated the colour of my hair (natural red head) but my mum and dad adore it. You just have to make eveything this awful negative, talking about ownership etc. I am literally half my mother and half my father. I understand why my Mum would keep it. It's really not that deep.

[@screamingbegins4688]

yeah my mum still has the pony tail from her first hair cut, she was forced to keep it short because my granny couldnt take care of my aunts curly long hair and my mums straight hair so she forced my mum to keep her hair short. when she got her hair cut the first time my granny kept it

[@lucyann1573]

I was LITERALLY gonna comment that men will judge your hair based on whether or not you still have enough to "grab on to' and then the lady was quoted saying the same thing. I had men saying that to me when i was a hair model. I was 17.

[@태이씨]

As a trans guy, it was funny to observe how everyone around me went feral when I finally cut my hair in teenagehood. I thought the debate of the hair length and gender was long left in the 10s. But I'm seeing many many guys with long hair around who are not shamed for long hair. I don't see many girls with short hair (shorter than bob) though. I just feels weird. Short hair is objectively more comfortable, especially in such a windy place where I'm living lol

[@RuanMei_SocietyGenius]

In which place you lives? I always see how long haired men are pressured to cut down their long hair by elder and sexist men

[@태이씨]

@@RuanMei_SocietyGenius eastern Europe, a big city. Maybe it would be different for small provincial towns

[@RuanMei_SocietyGenius]

@@태이씨 pretty curious, honestly.

[@m4haaa]

i wanna cut my hair really short so bad but my mother refuses to bc she doesnt want me to be ugly or whatever. short hair rlly does feel like a symbol of being free and i want that so bad

[@lilacfields]

same! i remember my mom telling me i can’t cut my hair short because then i’d be ugly and i asked “do you think my hair is the only thing that makes me beautiful?” and she didn’t have an answer 😭 genuinely if a change in my hair makes me ugly then i must not have been pretty in the first place!

[@dapu571]

do it!!! (if its safe ofc, i dont know your family but go girl)

[@moapchan1905]

Listen to your mother.

[@user-rz9rq7pp2b]

Good news is you can cut your hair yourself anytime you want

[@pheonixrises11]

@@moapchan1905naw this person is young, this is the best time to experiment with their looks. besides, as long as nothing is buzzed it’ll grow back pretty fast. It depends from person to person, but I go from a men’s cut to shoulder length in a few months. even if they don’t like it short, at least they’ll know they don’t like it, rather than it being on their mind all the time. also, I’ll assume they’re a teen, teens don’t need to worry about being beautiful being single not getting married or blah blah blah because there’s plenty of time to be worried about that stuff LATER when they’re ADULTS.

[@minniemoths]

I have pixie cuts and short bobs since I was in second grade and I firmly believe that everyone who thinks "I could never get a pixie" is exactly the person who needs a pixie. It teaches you so much about not hiding behind your hair and instead using your hair to reveal your true self. Grow it out again, keep it chopped, whatever you do after doesn't matter. Its just a good experience to have because you get to do something just for yourself. Also you use way less shampoo.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Wrong. Shampoo is for your SCALP, you don't use it in the lengths. Watch hair washing tutorials. Short hair brings the attention to the face. Which isn't good for 90% of people.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

On the topic of pretty privilege, I just want to shout out how AWESOME being perceived as a good looking OLDER woman is where it's at. People will still be nice to you, but the predators will not follow you around the way they do to pretty younger women. I did not feel good looks caused anything other than trouble and wasted time in my 20s, but it has made my life better the older I get, because 'good looks' gets less and less s*xualized and more and more respected. Don't fear aging, it's great

[@Pomagranite167]

I actually look forward to aging for that exact reason. There's no guaruntee that I will still look good, but I take care of myself, so it's probable. But I can't wait for men to leave me the hell alone. I'm in my 20s now, but when I am 60, there will be a new slew of women in their 20s to take the attention off of me, to gawk at, and pester. Not that I wish that for them but men are men, and I cannot wait for then to lose interest in bothering me.

[@Hara877]

Yessss!! There’s something so cool and sophisticated about an older woman who looks her age and accentuates her natural beauty instead of trying to beat the aging process with excessive surgery. Of course there are plenty of women who have taken the latter approach and still look amazing, but I figure it’s a lot easier and cheaper to appreciate how you age.

[@issecret1]

It's great when you're pretty, sure

[@rachellekelner8719]

I’m 25 and I normally only attract 50+ men. They’re the best!

[@strawberryynoodlesauce]

You’re never safe. **pists also assault old women. I’m talking 80 years old

[@fab261]

Omg the friends thing is so real, I never noticed! Even the copy shop girl Ross slept/cheated with has short dark hair

[@aubreydeangelo]

Mindy, Rachel's ex-bff who marries Barry, also has short hair 😮

[@rafaelaclerici5579]

aand that girl who shaved her head and suddendly ross was no longer interested!

[@krisscott4846]

There's another side to this intersecting with ageism where older women are often pressured to cut their hair off.

[@manic_girl]

I buzzed my head in quarantine and it took about 2 years to grow to my shoulders. In the meantime, if I wanted to wear long hair I’d wear wigs. I was treated very differently when I had short hair as opposed to long hair.

[@elemenolois]

Curious to know more about this experience, if you don’t mind sharing! I’m also buzzed and have gone out with a wig a few times out of curiosity. Men treat me a little more “delicate” with a wig but nothing too crazy!

[@manic_girl]

@@elemenolois absolutely! When going out to bars and clubs I very rarely got approached with my short hair. Men definitely would talk to me more when I had long hair, particularly the long blonde and redhead wigs I owned. Tbh I went out with short hair a lot more because I don’t want men approaching me in public regardless lol. At work (I work in a retail pharmacy) people were nicer to me when I had a long wig on, again especially the blonde and if I wore “natural” makeup with it (aka conforming to cis men’s idea of “beauty”). But if I wore a colorful wig, experimental makeup, my short hair, or god forbid 0 makeup (with my brow tails shaved off), cis men seemed less patient with me. I say cis men because the girls/gays/theys always complimented it in a genuine way. A lot of men, particularly older men, would comment something backhanded like “you sure are loud today” or “you must have spent a long time on looking like that”. Heck, I just dyed my hair bright pink last week and one of my regular male customers (who is married, 80, and winks at me regularly 🤢) flat out told me he didn’t like it and he thought it made me less attractive “in his clinical opinion” (his excuse for complimenting me is that he’s a retired plastic surgeon and I have to play along because the customer is always right). I bit my tongue and told him that I like it, and that’s all that matters. I don’t really care what they think, doing my makeup and hair in colorful and creative ways brings me joy. I pulled my boyfriend of 4 years when I was completely bald, and he always supports me experimenting with my looks. He tells me I’m beautiful regardless but will also compliment my skill level because he knows to me, makeup is art therapy. I’m not dropping money on a Pat McGrath mothership for male approval, including his. I just really like being sparkly and colorful. Sorry for the thesis paper lol I hope I explained it well!

[@yoonahkang7384]

I literally left my hair grow so people would trust me (I make tattoos, so a lot of client interaction)

[@mixmo437]

Also I need discussion how quickly we hate here on artists after they gain and then love them once loose weight again: Demi lovato , Lana del Rey , Christina aguliera

[@tamara10]

As it's the most recent one, the switch in opinions we're seeing in real time about Lana is crazy to see. The awful comments she got and how she was treated by the general public, even by people who claim to be fans of her and her music, just for it to be forgotten now that she's lost weight and is getting compliments

[@liaavv_4959]

The way people are saying we are so back just bc Lana lost weight now makes me soo mad like tf u mean.. she literally had an album last year!!

[@TheProxy066]

Demi Lovato is nonbinary.

[@Spoiledandsalty]

Yes!! And she’s been putting out music regardless of what body type she’s in. She’s a beautiful woman her weight has nothing to do with that

[@mynameisreallycool1]

​@@TheProxy066 Nonbinary people can be artists too.

[@KaylaMattingly-rg2yo]

This exact question has been on my mind for YEARS

[@andreinaanez8541]

No yeah fr. I saw the other day a tweet saying “we owe Doja Cat an apology” and what do I see? A fully feminine woman with long hair. Doja didn’t change a year ago, she just had her hair short and didn’t performed femininity a lot…

[@sherylgast6436]

Tiffany, Mina Le and Jordan Theresa. My holy trinity of video essays 🙏🏻💕

[@imtired3937]

As as a butch lesbian myself a full video essay about this would so great!! Like in general people group wlw together a lot without realising that the lesbian experience is quite different, especially for butches/studs! Super super interesting topic :D

[@periodt87]

yes!!! especially non binary lesbians their experiences aren’t being talked about enough

[@91Vault]

Yup! I present masc and even I get insecure about it from time to time in terms of desirability. I had an early relationship where she was Butch (or soft butch) and I was chap-stick and I slowly shifted over to masc and that didn't go down well (I think we've all seen/heard a version of that story). It's not cause of that relationship... it's just sometimes even in the wlw world it can feel like more feminine is still more desirable even tho I know it's not always the case. It's interesting to me that people can have such defined preferences in terms of gender presentation. There's nothing wrong with having preferences it's just never been a major factor for me in terms of who I find attractive.

[@banditq8991]

yuppp, so tired of being lumped in with all sapphic people when lesbians have distinct experiences.

[@vvitch-mist20]

I shaved my head, and I was shocked I got compliments from everyone. Usually a bald woman is like the bane of people's existence. Maybe it's because I live in NYC, but like I wanna do it again. (I did look good bald ngl)

[@Aelffwynn]

Damn, that's awesome. I'd probably look like the Gerber Baby if I cut my hair any shorter than my shoulders 😂 Luckily I like the feeling of long hair.

[@The_Winsome_Pixie]

The same happened to me! And I live in a smaller town in Canada. I’ve always felt beautiful with my head shaved, and had really positive experiences with it.

[@FoxGlove8]

A part of me wants to cut my hair and donate it to charity. I’ve placed so much weight on it though and I don’t know how I would feel about losing it.

[@vvitch-mist20]

@@FoxGlove8 Do it. It will grow back, and donating it is very nice.

[@aglet2089]

the timing of this video! I’m a Black woman with natural hair and I just cut mine quite short to prioritize health over length (the split ends were wild 😅) wearing extensions or wigs, I tend to feel hypervigilant in public that you can see my lace or a track so I shifted what I deem “presentable” for myself by just wearing my short 4c hair out I was a little scared of the reactions and not being as “desirable” but it feels… freeing 😌

[@SmartStart24]

Girl that’s why I stopped wearing wigs! I was sick of: “omg is the lace showing, omg is the track showing” 😂 I’ve been wearing my natural hair out for almost a year now and I don’t regret it at all!!

[@bunnylacy2097]

Good for you! I bet you look gorgeous! And feeling free is such a wonderful feeling.

[@millsi9642]

I cut a pixie cut last year, and wasn’t prepared for the change in how I was perceived. I felt I was constantly having to prove my feminity. People often thought I was transgender ftm. People and even teachers misgendered me though I had never had gender dysphoria. I started college and the boys all took me as a joke. A year in the future,I have a bob, and I am getting cat called again, and teenage boys actually take me seriously. Really strange.

[@lainiesmith8109]

Just cut my hair into a very short pixie after years of long, long hair. The reactions from everyone, including friends and family, is really disheartening. Questions if I'm changing my gender identity, what my sexuality is, why I would do that to myself/if I'm "ok"... even from people who have known me for years!! Maybe it's just summer and it's hot as hell outside and I was tired of styling it. It doesn't offend me when they ask, but it's so crazy that just a 60's style pixie (a la Rosemary's Baby, Twiggy, etc.) completely rewrites what people think of me.

[@monabollii]

I don't know if someone has Said this, but I remember when I was a kid, there was a show called Felicity. Keri Russel cut her hair, and everybody freaked! The ratings went down, and people couldn't stop talking about it. After that, the rumor was that actors couldn't cut their hair without permission from the studio.

[@caras4766]

I actually heard about this for the first time the other day. In this case, the creators of the show had the idea for her character to cut her hair because it made sense for her arc (she'd just gone through a big break-up, a time when women will often do a drastic hair change), so it wasn't that Kerri had just made that decision herself.

[@AngelusOrpheus]

I was actually hoping she would mention the Felicity thing lol. I didn't even watch that show, but I was a kid when it was on TV and I remember the girls at school FREAKING OUT over it the very next day after the episode aired

[@haircutexperience]

Also Kaley Cuoco aka Penny from the big bang theory was another woman playing a character who cut her hair into a pixie and many fans didn't like it. She eventually grew it back long over the seasons, I'm sure to the delight of many men

[@jennboomz]

Last fall, I cut all my hair off. I went from having pretty iconic (in that people recognized me by it) hair that was a wild cascade of red/strawberry blonde curls to a very closely cropped pixie. I immediately fell in love with my new look! Not even one moment of “omg what have I done,” crossed my mind. In fact, it was only, “Why didn’t I do this sooner!” I felt that my personal style was immediately elevated to a chic and classic dignified grace that I’d never felt able to achieve before. My personal confidence has skyrocketed, and I think I’ve never looked better. However, I did notice some strange ways that people reacted to me! The first: a LOT, like the majority of people I saw with my new cut for the first time, would comment the usual oh my gosh and wow you look so different, but they’d follow it with, “What does your husband think about it?” Like, this was the question asked before asking what I thought about it. That’s weird! Another thing I’ve noticed is that men (strangers) seem more hostile towards me. Not out and out trying to fight me on sight or anything, but as soon as they see me, making a face of displeasure when catching my eye or stopping their general gaze to stare directly in a sort of confrontational way into my eyes and not looking away. Again, very weird!

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Even if you step a toe out of line, you will be penalized for no longer fitting the beauty standards. 100%!!!

[@thethrowawaythatstayed7055]

I went through a big change looks wise as a teen and the way people treated me before vs after was insane to witness! All of a sudden I could get away with anything and everyone wanted to be my friend. I liked being treated well instead of bullied, but it also made me annoyed. I shouldn’t have had to change to be treated well.

[@Nina94771]

To quote Phoebe Waller-Bridge in the iconic Fleabag “HAIR IS EVERYTHING”

[@baggynilbog9255]

It’s sad I even have to say this but thanks for not ignoring how POC are impacted by these biases

[@imani0nline]

Living as a woman is constantly trying to score in an ever changing goal post. Gender roles are so exhausting 😩

[@yanah.2041]

It's fascinating how much people internalise hair beauty standards. I had long hair and cut it short, so many women told me to grow it back because I'd be so pretty then... Reader, I look horrible with long hair. Like Jason Mamoa. Then there's also the blonde = automatically better looking, even when it doesn't suit the person. So weird. Edit: Also where I come from naturally curly hair is seen as unkemp and straight hair as beautiful. Even people with pin straight hair straighten their hair, it's crazy.

[@lilacfields]

lmaooo same! long hair genuinely drowns my face out and my hair starts to look less curly. i much prefer shorter hair on me but everyone gets so upset when i cut it shorter it’s ridiculous 😭 they care more about my hair than anything else

[@MusclesandBooks]

Oh man, I didn't realize I had internalized the blonde thing without ever consciously realizing it until now. To this day I'll often think "I should go blonde" although I know for a fact it would wash me out horribly, not to mention horrifically damage my dark, hard-to-bleach hair.

[@charis6311]

It's the same with curls. I have naturally straight hair, but for two years I tried a perm (? or whatever it is called in Englsih), which turned out to be increasingly detrimental to my hair. So, for some months, I used papillotes, but it was a lot of work and took long to dry, so - depending on how much time I had, on some days I would be curly and on others my hair would be straight. I couldn't believe how differently the male students at uni treated me - even those who knew me well as a person. It was ridiculous.

[@thechurchofmoomin441]

I look like Weird Al when I have long hair. I'm cisfemale. When I cut my hair above my shoulders, people don't make those comments anymore.

[@Lykiera]

Oddly enough, I was told that short hair suited me more, when I went from waist length to a bob that framed my face

[@pomegranatepips2783]

Also (bc I wrote another comment somewhere about changes in women's hair being inextricably linked to effort and femininity), major changes in women's hair are always portrayed as negative- dying your hair a different colour/bleaching it/ getting a big chop - means that you're 'going through it', emotionally unstable, etc. This is usually attributed to a break-up, furthe linking a woman's appearance to the actions of a man (I.e, suggesting we cannot make changes to our hair of our own volition, rather based on a man's opinion of our appearance). Why do we refuse to accept that a woman's hair choice is her own?

[@santootie]

When I had a pixie at age 19 I immediately noticed a difference in how I got treated. Older women and more alternative women loved it. I was approached a lot more by them. Women and girls my age didn’t really like me when they first met me. And men.. Well I actually got a lot more male attention, but they always had to tell me they liked me better with long hair. But when I had long hair they avoided me like the plague.

[@scarsscars2424]

haha same with me girls definitely look at you differently I wonder why lol. But I get more attention for sure. Good attention from guys surprisingly but yeah they all say long hair is better but oh well