Why Do We People Please & Self Sacrifice? | A Psychologist Explains

[@vassiasar]

Do you recognise any of these behaviours in yourself?🧡🧠

[@Tuff701-11]

Vassia looking absolutely gorgeous this morning!!!!

[@vassiasar]

Thanks! What did you think about the video? Resonated? 😊

[@Tuff701-11]

@@vassiasar 👍

[@gregoryritchie7852]

Differences and similarities between people pleaser, martyr, victim, survivor, and savior roles? Great video! Very much appreciated.

[@vassiasar]

Thank you very much, Gregory! I'll expand on the topic in another video 😊 incredible feedback! 👌

[@beyondher]

Hi Vassia, thanks for your video. What advice can you give for people who start to set boundaries and suddenly all friends disappear? I have this schema and just a year ago I started practicing boundaries but it turns out nearly all my friends were taking advantage of my over-giving nature. Including my ex and my whole family. So I found myself quite alone now. I’m about to move into my van so at least I can have some adventure in my solitude..

[@vassiasar]

Hi there, that's an excellent question! I don't know you personally, so I will give you two possible options and then you decide which applies to your case. One option is that the people that we had chosen initially, were chosen on wrong criteria, and they didn't really care about us and our needs. Even if it hurts, we all come to this point in our life that we have to leave these people behind us, because they don't help us be in equal and healthy relationships. The task is to look for the right people from now onwards. The second option is also something that happens quite often: after spending a long time with loose boundaries, we tend to overcompensate by enforcing really strict boundaries or in a rigid way. That means that sometimes we protect the boundary more than what we prorect the relationship or the connection with the other person. That can push people away because they can't see where we are coming from, they only see the force we want to love ourselves from now onwards. That was my two cents. I hope it made some sense to you. Learning boundaries is a journey and you are on the right path ✨️