Why Friendship Betrayal Hurts So Much More 💔 Euphoria, Friends & Beyond

[@thetake]

Thanks for watching! Up next, check out our recent video on a trope that's less sad, more irritating: Failing Upward. 📺kzbin.info/www/bejne/iISrlJt6r9poj5Y

[@jennissepadilla]

The traitor is never an enemy, that is why it is worse.

[@AW301517]

That’s deep.

[@_Alimm]

I've had friendship breakups so bad I'm certain it changed my brain chemistry so yeah, pretty accurate.

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Same here. It hurts so much doesn’t it?

[@Napchuli]

same... dont think about romantic breakups that much, still thinking today about friendship breakups that happened years ago

[@Lsjiwhayjjjaahhgsyy92726]

I liken the end of a best friendship to a death and I’m still in mourning. It cut me so deeply I don’t know if I’ll ever feel whole again.

[@chelsea.S-i3z]

especially when it's childhood friendships 😭🤧

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

@@chelsea.S-i3z Yeah. I know that unfortunately.

[@EN-Fitz]

"Hate alone was not enough to bring so much bloodshed and woe. It took one more ingredient: love.. poisoned by betrayal."

[@roguejester4986]

👏

[@mundaneamazing]

Friendship has always been my number one priority in life and I've come to realize that most people only view friendship as a stepping stone until marriage and kids or to turn to as a last resort when they feel like they can't rely on family or a romantic partner.

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

I agree, I notice when people start dating they forget their friends & the significant other becomes top priority. Like an obsession.

[@abimoastra]

Same here. But most people are not all people. We just have to be more aware of what people want out of friendship and sure you will find people who will treasure your friendship as you treasure theirs.

[@mlsb9591]

I tolerate so much stuff in my friends that I wouldn't accept in a romantic relationship. That's why friendship breakups have been so awful for me, I was blind to their behavior because I wanted so bad for it to work out 😢

[@francescagreetham1804]

It’s true, you put up with more from your friends because you think they are supposed to have your back. Friendship breakups I’ve had, happened when I started standing up for myself and not allowing people to walk all over me. But they couldn’t handle me changing from being a people pleaser. I still hold guilt for any pain I caused them, but I also feel this huge sense of relief knowing I don’t have to deal with that anymore.

[@missyface5]

All the romantic partners that abandoned me? Whatever. My best friend of over a decade disappearing from my life with no explanation? Yeah, that fucked me up.

[@kayleighdriessen]

For me friendship betrayals always hit closer to home than couples cheating on each other which is as commonplace as breathing in modern society nowadays. Platonic love is not taken seriously often enough as it should.

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Agreed. I know how that feels. How are you now?

[@AndreaFlores-eb1zv]

"nowadays" as if infidelity isnt as old as humanity lol

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

@@AndreaFlores-eb1zv You're unfortunately right

[@LennyPepper]

I’ve had friends break up with me. It certainly wasn’t mutual; they decided they didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It sucks so bad when that happens

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Yeah. I know that feeling. How are you doing now?

[@chelsea.S-i3z]

they broke up with me by text message 😭

[@sunnysolaris23]

​@@chelsea.S-i3z at least they did break up with you. I had two people I considered my best friends in the world. None of them had the guts to break up with me. They just distanced themselves, kept me hanging by a thread, so I would eventually give up trying. I'm still friendly and on a talking basis with most of my ex-boyfriends, but I'm 100% certain that having those two back in my life would add nothing of any value whatsoever. They belong in the past.

[@trinaq]

"The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend." - Heather Brewe All too accurate, friendship fallouts are more emotionally devastating for me than relationship breakups, since friends are supposed to have your back... Until they don't. 😭💔

[@katherinealvarez9216]

Ditto

[@inesatt1313]

I agree 😢

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Yep. I know that feeling too well. How are you doing now?

[@inesatt1313]

@@JuanEnriqueFloresJr I am alright,thank you

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

@@inesatt1313 That's good to hear. You're very welcome. Would you like to be friends?

[@VeeLondon1449]

Film “Good Will Hunting”, when Chuckie (Ben Affleck) says to Will (Matt Damon) "You know what the best part of my day is? For about 10 seconds from when I pull up to the curb, Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that”. Letting a friend go. So they can move on and be great. Knowing your friendship is holding somebody back.

[@Sheepcakezzz]

When I confronted my friend about her betrayal she did all she could to not take accountability and blamed me for it. Her fear of accountability was so strong she turned the friends I introduced her to against me. I was warned that she was a master manipulator and found out way too late. It hurts because I trusted this person 10 years only to find out they will never be sorry for their actions and even lie to gain sympathy for their evil deeds

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Yep. I have sympathy for you. How are you now?

[@unluckyone1655]

Yup, betrayals like that are the reason why I have bad trust issues. It sucks, I would like to have more close friends, but I am so scared to get close to someone like that again

[@ChrisSpearz]

I’m dealing with the same exact issue. My best friend of 5 years decided it was ok to do everything he did and in the process turn others against me. If it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t be friends with these people. Almost a year now since the initial incident and he STILL won’t keep my name out his mouth. My public reputation has been destroyed. All the damage he did was so bad stress ulcers ate away at my stomach which led to me getting an emergency operation. In the process of suing my former best friend.

[@Sheepcakezzz]

​@@JuanEnriqueFloresJrnot good honestly. I think about that betrayal everyday and my lack of justice for it

[@Sheepcakezzz]

​@@ChrisSpearzhope you win

[@zero1188]

Because alot of people have an unrealistic expectation and projection of their friend. They only see the good. Thats why they are surprised

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Yep. And also because betrayal never comes from an enemy because that’s what you’d expect them to do. You don’t expect it from somebody that you care about and trust because they’re the ones who are supposed to be there for you. Not against you.

[@Zynga76]

I'm 29 and honestly what i want most is a close friend. I was bullied by my friend group in highschool then went to uni and got bullied by people i thought were my friends too. I've had many lives since and met many people but i struggle to have an authentic friendship with anyone because i cant seem to let my guard down and be authentic myself. I've been abused by my ex and assaulted by strangers but i genuinely think my inability to connect with people (friends) affects me the most. I'm happy with my life and who i am but i worry about what it could mean for the future

[@Sheepcakezzz]

I feel this you're not alone I was bullied throughout my life

[@Bucky_Winchester]

Ohh same, really. After all this bs and heartbreak within my friend group I finally found a best friend, but she ended up dumping me for her forts boyfriend bc "her life before him didn't exist anymore". I have never been the same and to this day, I am unable to form genuine relationships and trust with people. For a few years I found a great friend but she ghosted me once I told her I got a boyfriend. I really don't know what to do with people anymore.

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

I can be your friend if you want

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

@Bucky_Winchester I can be your friend too if you want

[@unluckyone1655]

Same here. You are not alone, I have been betrayed and let down by friends and family both and it just hurts. To this day, I am scared to get close to anyone and it sucks

[@MichielBLKorte]

I think it hurts because there's so much freedom in healthy friendships, so it takes a lot more to hurt someone or break someone's trust.

[@mariaskabardonis8353]

One of the reasons I had a lot of trust issues and had trouble forming friends and romantic relationship is because of a friend break up in high school. I had some friends that I hung out with everyday for two years and then one day out of the blue they ended the friendship with no explanation and that really hurt. Even today I don’t know why they did. It did make me cautious when forming other bonds

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Same here. How are you now?

[@mariaskabardonis8353]

@@JuanEnriqueFloresJr I am okay now, I have friends now and think about it less.

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

@@mariaskabardonis8353 Okay. That's good to hear. Would you like to be my friend too?

[@lilil9752]

It wasn’t a betrayal but a friend hurted me on Valentine’s Day , it hurt me more than when a guy rejected me. I felt like I was going through a break up, i was crying so much a girl and a couple of strangers came in to comfort me, they didn’t ask and given the date, i am almost sure they assumed I was going through a romantic break up

[@theredqveen]

How the HELL didn't you mention Peter Pettigrew betraying the rest of the Marauders!!!! Sirius literally says: "I would have DIED! Died rather than betrayed my friends!!!" See also: Brooke & Peyton (One Tree Hill)

[@paradisecity0406able]

On the theme of friendship, might I also suggest 'The Banshees of Inisherin'. Saw it again last night and it would be a great video to talk about what happens during a friendship breakup and how to move on in a healthy way

[@meggiegoes]

I would hardly call that movie a "healthy" way haha. But yes great film!

[@juliantapia1407]

Betrayal only comes from those you trust and care about.

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Yep. It never comes from an enemy. Never. Which is what makes it hurt.

[@TheTinkerThorn]

Lol @11:40 The Office is listed as Mean Girls, and honestly it's fitting

[@JuanEnriqueFloresJr]

Lol

[@Plantbliss]

This video was one of several I’ve watched tonight. I think I’ll watch Fight Club after watching your video. But this subject has me up at night. Not betrayal but I’m moving next month as an older woman who’s had long term friends my whole life. Finding new friends across the country. Last time I did this I had children and their friends moms became my friends. I won’t have that help this time. And at the same time I’m so excited to have a fresh start with my husband. We’ve always had kids living with us so it feels so exciting and scary at the same time.

[@anonymousbirb1904]

Just wanted to flag a tiny editing mistake at 11:47. The titles are switched for Mean Girls and the Office

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

Its because you don't expect it unlike a romantic relationship where people are more expectant of it turning sour

[@bryantgrove6199]

You had the office and mean girls switched. 11:46

[@l.a9974]

Thank you SOOOOOOO much for covering this!!! Omggg

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

Being Betrayed by your own Parents, yeah that stings. If the people that’s suppose to love you unconditionally don’t, how on earth will some stranger. I learned to love myself so I don’t need to look for it from anyone when it’s in me already ♒️💜

[@AmyThePuddytat]

Needing human connection comes free with being human, a social species. It's nothing to do with how much you like or dislike yourself.

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

@@AmyThePuddytat I’ll take my own advise. Yours is for you. I’m good.

[@cesarabrahamcastanedavalen3788]

In antique Greece 'friend' also meant amador,' the one who loves'. So, its complicated not to feel passionately hurt when friends just discharge you from their lifes.

[@Maryxus]

There's a theory in Psychology called "Relational Identity Theory" which (simplified) boils down to the idea that our identity is made, in part, out of the way that the significant people in our lives (positive or negative) perceive us. I always imagine it as my identity being reflected to me in a mirror that is reflecting an orbital constellation of other mirrors. Each other mirror reflects their view of me (regardless of how idealized and/or distorted) back to my mirror, and my mirror reflects back to them an aggregate of the reflections I am perceiving. Go too far with the imagery and it starts to feel like the first Doctor Strange film 😅 Anyway, Relational Identity Theory supports y'all's take about the how and why friendship betrayals suck so hard. I hadn't heard it referenced yet at 05:17, and in case it doesn't, I thought y'all might find it interesting and I didn't wanna forget to write it down.

[@moustik31]

My friendships' break ups always felt 10x worse than my romantic ones ... turns out, I'm simply a lesbian.

[@rocco3605]

I’ve never been in a relationship but I’ve never really had a close friend either. I’ve had good friends I would hang out with at school but rarely outside of it and definitely not ones I ever really talked about super deep stuff with. I feel like I have a very romantic view of... romance and I would love that one day but realistically, I don’t feel ready for it. I definitely feel like friendship feels less complicated than a romantic relationship and clearly people agree but I don’t really understand why, probably because I’ve never really had one or the other. I think the reason why I’ve never really been able to maintain friendships is moving a lot. Like, I turned twenty in June and less than a week before, I moved for the seventh time in my life, each time having been to a different country (not *different* different because we’ve been in two countries more than once, including now, our home country, Paraguay) but different as in different from the previous one). I thought maybe it was my fault for not putting in any effort but the psychologist I spoke to for a while validated my opinion. Like, yeah, maybe I could have tried more in the past but it’s difficult for me to start conversations, especially through text, and besides, why do I almost always have to be the one to start one? Plus there’s the fact that I’m just awkward and, again, have never been particularly open so if we barely connected when we were seeing each other every day, how could we possibly keep up regular contact when there’s a whole ocean between us? So yeah, I’m back in my home country, this was my first time moving as an adult so I want to stay here for the foreseeable future. Never say never (about moving again, I mean, and if I do, I want it to be on my own terms) but I at least want to achieve the milestone of staying in the same country (possible holidays abroad not included) for half a decade, so let’s just say the rest of the 2020s, rounding up (not that I’m gonna have my bags packed to leave immediately come midnight on the first of January, 2030, it’s just a little goal I have). But back to the topic of friendship, I would have tried contacting my old friends here but, again, I’m an adult now (technically), they’re adults too, they’ve moved on with their lives and I’m not sure where any of them even are, they could’ve gone to university abroad or even moved permanently. In any case, what I would *love* to do is meet *new* people, ones who have no preconceived notions of me because quite frankly, I can imagine many of my old friends constantly being like “wow, you’re so different now, you used to be so this and that”. I’ve just been having a difficult few months but I’m trying to find the energy to... leave the house. I will in two weeks and three days’ time at the very least for Joker 2 HAHAHA. (it’s better than no motivation at all). All this to say... and I know this is absolutely awful and don’t actually mean it... but I almost feel envy at the idea of having a friendship that would break your heart if it ended. It seems like such a basic thing. But I think it’s just the fact that that shows that it’s really meaningful. I had semi-major drama with a sort-of-friend at school a grand total of one time but it’s not like I was devastated, I don’t think we’d even really been liking each other for a while anyway.

[@naobao6518]

The nana ending hits hard because of that friendship breakup

[@jas_094]

I stopped talking to a big friend of mine, I'm talking years as bros, because he hated my wife, I knew he didn't like her but as I grew closer to her he went more and more bitter. I had to cut the guy off immediately

[@theawantikamishra]

Why did he hate her?

[@theawantikamishra]

Something to do not finding her right for you?

[@jas_094]

@@theawantikamishra MF acted all jealous, it was incredibly awkward. That guy is filled with too much hate and pain, it was easy to ignore when we were kids but when you become a 27-30 year old and still act as if you were 15... It's time to go

[@maceyharper2268]

I relate to this so much. It really hurts. 😢

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

🗣️Me, myself and I That's all I got in the end, that's what I found out And it ain't no need to cry I took a vow that, from now on, I'm gon' be my own best friend! ♒️💜♒️💜♒️💜♒️

[@zenagitana]

I'm shocked you didn't list Peter Parker and Harry Osbourne from Spiderman

[@b.radleypro.369]

I know that feeling for both, a best friends betrayal, a boyfriend’s betrayal, a boyfriend who was a best friend and boys who were best friends and took my ex boyfriends side

[@katherineheasley6196]

I had a college professor who liked to say, "Betrayal is the great human crime."

[@PeopleStream]

When thinking of friendship, betrayal I like is a modern family one with Jay and his rival. Spoiler!!!! I just recently watched an episode where Jay’s ex-friend picks Jay to spread his ashes. It was a really sweet moment.

[@LauraSomeNumber]

Wanda amd Agatha? Did you watch WandaVision?

[@inesatt1313]

"When you share so much with them,it hurts more to see them leave you and never coming back"- Yours truly an INFP from experience

[@SunShine-qk4rb]

Great episode

[@iveetsanchez9640]

Can you do one on family betrayal?

[@L0VEisAmixtape]

Oooooh yes please!

[@bigsistahtips]

About a guy, sure. But out of values… saying something they’d never say just to fit into what ever new bs they want to be part of sacrificing your friendship without even having the decency of talking to you about it. When you don’t recognise them anymore and they act like they never were your friends and that you got it all wrong. But at the same time, when you realise it, you understand it’s better to be away from people like that.

[@mariaskabardonis8353]

To be fair Simon and Martin weren’t friends still bad what Martin did but it wasen’t a friendship betrayal

[@jessedarlin]

Me with my parasocial relationship with Dave Grohl

[@K1ng1995]

1: Does this suck? Yes of course 2: Am I surprised? Nope I'll never be surprised when I hear about a famous Rockstar cheating. It's right on the door "Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll" It's been on the door since Elvis and it's going to stay that way. 3: Is what he did that bad compared to what other famous musicians have done *Hint R Kelly*? No he could be doing WAY worse things. To quote my mother "If you don't want your husband cheating on you, don't marry someone that other women want to sleep with because eventually most famous males are going give into temptation" Look at Tiger Woods. 18 different women, but out of the 1000's upon 1000's he saw every day. That's pretty small when you think about it 4: Is he taking responsibility for his choice? Yes it's not like he's abandoning the kid. God knows how many posts on AITA talk about how some kid is the child of an affair, bio dad pretty much plays deadbeat to affair child. Meanwhile he's Father of the year to his legitimate children. 5: Will I still listen to Nirvana, Foo Fighters, and Probot? Hell yes People are taking this WAY TO PERSONALLY GET OVER IT

[@jessedarlin]

@@K1ng1995 dude it was a joke

[@mila3432]

YEAAHHHH PLATONIC LOVEEEE

[@lakouk1901]

WHERE IS PEYTON SAWYER?

[@nathfairy]

Right???? I was wondering that the entire time. Where are brooke and Peyton???

[@magzdilluh]

It's almost impossible to make friends as an adult. If anyone does it, please let me know how.

[@debbiemoore2747]

I've been f'd over by friends. I stil believe in supporting women but i'm very cautious now. I don't really understand the unwritten social rules of women and frankly find all the rules exhausting. So I mostly keep it acquaintances now.

[@tennyopallas]

mixing office and mean girls captions

[@TheRealKILLshOt1337]

Fleabag and boo 😔

[@esmeralda4297]

😢😢😢 friendships > love stuff lol

[@marcosgin777]

She was my bestfriend… or I thought she was tbh

[@cami_triz83]

Being betrayed by both a partner and friend at the same time crew? ✌🤪

[@franzgemota8425]

How about some character analysis on other shows like Boardwalk Empire, Six Feet Under and The Americans. Try to at least bring some ideas into something.

[@pdzombie1906]

You missednthe betrayal by changing relationship expectations to sex...

[@RSB1949]

NGL the inclusion of badly written marvel movies as examples kinda ruin these recent takes.

[@loganhurley4764]

Please stop giving this horrific show any more publicity by posting about it, it’s not even airing its next season yet.