Why Gay Relationships Are Hard

[@isaacflo5432]

I think a bigger problem with much of the dating is it’s all based around hookups, open relationships, and lack of commitment

[@493HZ]

Most of the gay guys I know are single. The gay youth party culture is a world gone mad.

[@jkscout]

which is why you can "love being 'single.'" Really, you're just dating several dozen guys a year. You ain't single. You just ain't commited to one person.

[@Student____2025__1]

There are no children being produced and there’s no societal pressure to stay together nor is there real family formation. I think that’s the root of it. Ultimately it just becomes an endless string of “how do I fulfill my needs.” “Are my needs being met?” “Me, me, me.” There’s no purpose greater than yourself or outside yourself. And being a “dog dad” is not the same as being a real parent, as great as dogs are. Honestly, the purpose of life is to have children, and almost everything else someone does in their life is so insignificant in comparison.

[@davedvdy4946]

​@@Student____2025__1 Your entire paragraph is a string of toxic generalizations. Not everyone shares the desire to have children, and gay couples can adopt too. The heterosexual divorce rate is pretty high -- relationships in general are challenging.

[@Student____2025__1]

@@davedvdy4946 Truth can appear toxic to those who don’t want to hear it. Men and women get married to produce and raise children. That is the norm. Society’s interest in valuing marriage stems from the relationship between marriage and family formation/raising children. This is tradition, and traditions are often solutions to problems we forgot we had; take away the traditions and the old problems come back. Have you ever heard the expression the child is the father of the man? Many people have different ideas of what the saying means, but you could say that it means that having children forces the parents to grow up overnight and get their acts together. If a man leaves his wife and children, he is seen as a pariah. Now, of course there are exceptions, and some people don’t have children. But exceptions don’t negate the rule.

[@steveparker2938]

Two years ago my husband of 21 years died from COPD. Now, if you think gay relationships are hard , try being 72 years old, widowed and trying to "belong". In our community I am totally and completely invisible. I've been "ghosted" and I hate it.

[@issemacrab]

I sincerely do hope that you find happiness even if your significant other isn't there with you now, in friends especially and even in the simple things in life.

[@baobabs727]

@@issemacrab how trite

[@steveparker2938]

@@baobabs727" Trite" ,Hope you don't mean me.

[@ricktomlinson5481]

ME TOO !!! 24 years Gene and I were together! When he died of liver failure I lost the love of my life! So hard living in a 6 bedroom empty house without him ! Yes Steve you are right.... we are ghosted and invisible! Sad ! I am in therapy and not sure it's doing a damn bit of good !0? Hope things get better for all of us old gurls !

[@saicasha]

@@ricktomlinson5481 and Steve Parker, can't you go to gay bar or sauna for finding some guys? may be there is someone younger love to live with older ones. i have friends who love older than them. Just please try not to be invisible.

[@zackcamara8688]

I am 31 and if there’s anything I’ve learned from gay dating or a relationship is how emotionally exhausting it can be and I think it’s hard primarily because of the standards and social hierarchy that exists within the community, FOMO has made a few men I’ve dated back out because they think they’re missing out on more, the “Gay Pornstar” standard as I put it, there may be someone better looking out there etc, I felt like the more gay men I met the less I wanted to date because I recognized the lack of substance they all possessed, and rather they were more surface and obsessed with physical appearance. I have been single for 4 years and I’ve noticed my preferences and standards have changed based off of the respect I developed for myself, and I understand now that if I were to develop a relationship with a potential partner the key factor that I seek in them is peace. A peaceful partner is who I would open myself up to, someone who has found peace on their own and brings that peace into the relationship and gives no reason for caution or suspicion, and that takes a certain level of maturity developed only by experience and recognizing patterns in certain types of men that you don’t value, and setting your bar for kindness and authenticity in a partner. They should give it as much as you give, it’s an exchange of trust, and having peaceful partner gives you a sense of calm and trust. Open yourself up to someone who who opens themselves up to you 🙏🏻❤️

[@moisdawg]

all very good points omg

[@leonardopenagos951]

Jesus is the answer

[@kenchambers7137]

Your a beautiful guy

[@zackcamara8688]

@@kenchambers7137 thank you 🙏🏻❤️

[@kenchambers7137]

@@zackcamara8688 your welcome 🤗, I read your profile and i you said lot of things that I also experienced and been seeing . I thought it was just me that picked up on those things . I want someone that will love me unconditionally and vice Versa , but I’m not gonna exhaust myself because most guys aren’t worth it .

[@jamesmcarthur6945]

Thank you Mark! Many people dont realize that dating and love in the gay community is a completely different world and its ten times harder to find love and be loved.

[@bhambihira1157]

Hi James you find very interesting. hope you notice me. thank you

[@jesswise1863]

Dating is hard in general, the best thing to do is just be happy by yourself and someone right for you will come at the right time

[@moviegamer7182]

@@jesswise1863this is even statistically very unlikely for gay men.

[@jesswise1863]

@@moviegamer7182 well not all of them are like that

[@danielesteve8359]

Not harder, only impossible,

[@ncw8954]

Hey Mark, followed you for over 10 years and comment occasionally. I love your personal growth and your evolving perspective on the world. As a gay man in a relationship for over 20 years, I can counter that gay relationships are not hard, in fact any healthy relationship, be it friendship or or life partnership is not hard. If it’s hard - get out. Obviously there are times when we need to compromise and learn from one another, but that shouldn’t be hard. With mutual respect and love it’s all easy baby! Just find those people who mutually respect and love you. I love that you are now testing the healthiness (compatibility) of the people you surround yourself with, good editing with the people you invest time in will pay you back with endless years of love and respect, even if that means just having two or three great people in your life. Much love N

[@MarkEMiller]

Fersure I hear ya, i just thought it was a catchy title. :)

[@ncw8954]

@@MarkEMiller indeed it was, and another beautifully thought provoking conversation piece. Thanks Mark x

[@roderickshaka3626]

🙋🏾‍♂️thank you for adding hope, sometimes as people we can be cynical. 🌷🍄☕💌 lot's of love.

[@freddyjafar1490]

So, wait.... It's NOT supposed to be difficult?

[@ncw8954]

I think the secret to our “easy” relationship is that we agreed to three people in the relationship from the get-go, him, me and us. The moment you give up who you are, your identity, independence and beliefs you’re on a slippery slope to midlife crisis. Permission is not a feature, just respect for one another. Do we have hard days - yes! But we never mistake a hard day for a hard life.

[@drewwho4512]

Living alone can be hard, just as living with someone can be hard. I like living alone, but I must admit I've struggled at times when it's only been me, myself, and I. The independence is great most of the time.

[@jeffrobinson4523]

Me and my partner celebrate 40 years together this September 2023. I can tell you relationships do require work, as any relationship has its shares of ups and downs. We both have great senses of humor, so lots of laughter together has got us through many curve balls life can throw at you. Being each others best friend is essential, along with respect. Communication is always a key essential as well. Having shared interest and the same passions in life can carry you far together as well....

[@MoH-tw6cv]

congrats😭

[@Bazz59]

Congrats , We had our 40th last January and you are so right , they never stop needing some effort to keep going and yes , communication is the key as well as having similar family values and senses of humour ...

[@mxsthxted]

Congrats to all of you above. I do think the base for gay relationships is being good friends that truly respect each other, as they are key for the long term with personality being compatible, learning to deal with the ups and downs together, and last but not least, learning to live and stand each other's presence. @@Bazz59

[@JB-pl1iu]

Just turned 40 and I'm completely over dating or trying to find "the one". Its too time consuming and mentally exhausting. I like being alone honestly and the thought of having to answer to someone daily really isn't for me.

[@WhoRemix]

I find it difficult to hear that a life partner is someone to ‘answer to’. To me it sounds as though a healthy balance hasn’t been reached there - trust is the only thing that makes life work.

[@sho942000]

This. Times a million!

[@SABOREAME68]

⭐⭐⭐⭐ The secret of loving someone depends on compromising, trusting, and lastly wanting to share your life with that special one.

[@roderickshaka3626]

sometimes relationships 🙅🏾‍♂️🚫 aren't for some people, especially if their perspective of it is "answering to someone". Relationships should be mutual, they are about 🎩responsibility,✌🏾 respect, 🏸communication & ☘️compromise. You have to cultivate those within yourself first before you start looking for someone to do it with you.

[@Not-Ap]

Welcome to the bachelor life baby!! 🎉😂

[@branj18]

I’m 30 and I find navigating gay dating is difficult. I was in a five year relationship until he passed away unfortunately. I thought I had a good friendship developing with someone, but I had admitted to blocking them for a short time. That’s when they decided to ghost me. I hate that feeling, but it just puts into perspective where people are in their season and how you can’t worry about them. It’s hard trying to move forward but it’s even harder when you can hardly find someone worth talking to.

[@Benniibennii]

Im 35 and I stopped looking at 32. Apps don't work .In person has failed. People flake, are a mess, or want an open relationship. So it's gonna be me and my Golden Retriever Crew, for the next 50 years!

[@louisdewit4429]

Too young to give up. (Too gorgeous as well). I’m 65 so things have changed. I see yt videos of 30+ goodlooking articulate guys who feel and talk like this. So there must be many who are interested. Perhaps young men should be blunt and openly persui a relationship. Just like hetero’s do. You meet anyone, just put that message out there. They or connections might be interested. Just like career hunting.

[@alex14243]

It’s so reassuring to know that no matter how long I go without watching your videos, I can always come back and just have this sense of overwhelming peace and tranquillity. You are such a beautiful soul- inside and out. Thanks for being you

[@danielesteve8359]

Everything as gay is harder. I still don't know why they call us gay.

[@Eric471000]

It’s because people now a days are so picky. For me personally I like to give every guy a chance even when we don’t like the same things 😊 People also are very toxic now, like god just be respectful to each other ❤

[@jeremiahallyn4603]

Right. Seems like so many people these days don't know what being respectful to others even means. It's sad really

[@bhambihira1157]

hi, hope you notice me. thank you

[@Kenneth-p6j]

All relationship types need commitment and work from both sides to succeed. Gay or straight doesn't matter. Look at straight marriages, half end in divorce.

[@HansKr]

The problem with many relationships is that it looks like partners own each other. What many people actually do is create a kind of mould that the other has to live up to. What they are actually saying is "when you behave this way and do this and that then I can be happy". Problem is, it never works. You will have to work on yourself first to have a healthy relationship and see your partner as a mirror that reflects what needs to be ''healed'' internally.

[@lovhy3191]

“When life comes in your face…” - Mr. Mark

[@kanagarajmohanraj6698]

Hopefully avoiding the eyes 👀

[@starrboii1994]

hahaha i smiled when he said that

[@thisiswill]

One says, “thank you, come again.”

[@iwnunn7999]

What a great friend Donnie is. Keep that man in your life!!

[@Djdreamstudios]

Gay dating is extremely hard it’s like nobody wants a relationship they wanna have a good time 🙁

[@anthonyr7208]

Very true…. It’s nothing but hook ups out here and we’re living in the age of hook up apps…

[@brandon17760]

I may be speaking ignorant, let me know, but I think all this stems from the fact of mental health issues in the community, we're bullied and outcast growing up, we're suppressed so when we grow and come out, we go wild, and want to have fun. And if you never grow out of the mindset, this is the community we have, most people want to stay single.

[@paulkerz4783]

And the ones that say they want a relationship sadly dont

[@okorochukwunonso2563]

@@brandon17760 Exactly what this book.'The velvet rage' is all about...A powerful book.

[@curtbergeron703]

I agree. Everyone wants an open relationship. That to me is an arrangement, not a commitment. You must have a perfect face, perfect body, big d*ck and lots of money to be desired in the gay community. Most gay men could care less who you are on the inside.

[@Etannl]

I’ve long ago “aged out” of the so-called community. The ageism, the accepted racism have made this easy. Luckily, given these prejudices, I am an introvert.

[@jrthiker9908]

Really enjoy your videos. Virgo here, like you, so a lot of what you do and say resonates with me. You're on track, figuring it all out. When you're ready, you'll find a great relationship, but as you say, you have to take care of yourself first. 63 here, been with my husband for 32 years, we both weren't ready until we met each other around your age. And it's not always been easy, but you know when it's the right person and you work it out. One of the big things in gay relationships is re-establishing yourself and your friendships after the honeymoon period is over. This usually happens around 6 months to 2 years in and is the first big tough hurdle you both have to navigate. Communication is key.

[@osnapitzjared]

i resonated with you saying “realizing that the people i’m surrounding myself with might not be the best for me.” i literally just went through my phone and purged everything. phone numbers, social media etc. i’m being super protective of where my energy is and who has access to me. and it’s been amazing.

[@WhoRemix]

If there isn’t trust and communication there isn’t a healthy and therefore sustainable relationship. I see comments fairly often that say ‘It’s too much effort answering to someone’ - makes me wonder what their view of a healthy relationship is, or makes me hope they’ll find one someday if it suits them

[@chrolli247]

Stop looking! What you need will walk right in front of you when you least expect it! Know your worth! You are sweet, kind, lost, and trying to find your way!!! You are not alone ❤

[@saebica]

Man, that is not f true.. Gay dating doesn't happen like heterosexual dating happens. You don't walk on the street or you're in a bar and suddently you wake up married after 30 years.. This is movie propaganda, it's fake.

[@rossradclyffe6502]

I thought that at 30 and I'm now 53 and haven't met anyone so don't rely on fate !! 😂

[@JoeyNYSDnomad]

LOL I heard that one my entire life, from NYC to Miami and LA.

[@Muhluri]

That's some grade A copium

[@dashdingoasen5606]

I’m turning 40 this year. I’m at the stage now where I just prefer to travel and do solo activities. but doesn’t mean that I’m not open to be in a relationship. The happiness I feel from traveling and independence is amazing.

[@iloverainbowrainbow]

Is it weird that I am in my early 30s and I have never been "in love" with someone before? I had a few relationships with guys before but I would not say I was in love with them? I have been single for the past 3 years and I really enjoy spending time with myself but I can relate to what you were saying about how hard it is being in a gay relationship. Also I have been following you since your first video I think and glad that you are doing well and it's good to see that you are in a good place!

[@mjewan9920]

Almost same case here. Mayber we're both weird or we're just normal lol

[@Cadetsc]

I'm 32 and have never been in a relationship or in love. You're not alone in this

[@TheIgdrasil1]

I am 28 and no love ever either. Its probably because I dont socialize. Its really painful be alone, especially when I see pair kissing or holding hands. And worst of that, I see aproaching old age and from that arise fear that I am no longer attractive to anyone. It sucks

[@dalatuy104]

I feel ur pain guys. I'm 34. Been single for almost 4years after an 8year relationship with my ex. We were in love until we grew apart He's happy and found someone else and I'm happy for them as we still talk from time to time but after what we had been through together it makes it hard for me to wana be in a relationship anymore. Sometimes I do struggle with the fact we are aging and it makes me wonder if I'll ever find someone new but I do also love spending time alone and having my own space to do whatever I want without having to ask permission or having someone to deal with and it's nice but yea definitely do think about having someone there to cuddle up to when u need it sometimes.

[@nealwhaley63]

Parties of one are born, not made. And there are a lot of us.

[@Denf0]

You're a really cool guy, Mark. Always look forward to seeing your new videos even if I can't relate to you on a personal level as an asexual out-of-shape gay with an intense loathing of driving for any amount of time. Just makes me really happy to see how far you've come on your journey of growth and self-acceptance, and your takes on topics are always as genuine as they are unpredictable. Keep doing you, man.

[@I-AM-YOUR-MOM]

I am turning 40 this year. I haven't been in a 'relationship' with anybody for 10-11 yrs already (I am losing count). Finding someone right is just hard. People are just complicated. When you feel the vibe, but the other doesn't, or vice versa... I don't know. I have given up.

[@joeyokpako8990]

A friend of mine gave me a great advice, he said: "let it flow". He's a wise guy. I believe he was trying to tell me to stop searching. Cause chances are whatever it is I'm searching for has no bearing with reality. Have conversations with people, be kind, go out and meet people. Whatever happens should be as organic and mindless as breathing. 😁

[@I-AM-YOUR-MOM]

@@joeyokpako8990 thank you my friend 🙏🏼

[@belamoure]

Being happy is a life's continuous search, at times we are happy with someone, but when it is over like it happens we continue living to discover that happiness is in books, writings, food you cook, two cats you care for, and siestas. Keep on your inspiring great work.

[@thomascarneal3962]

Gay Relationships aren't hard they just take effort and good communication... It is nice you have a true straight friend (Donnie) that accepts you being gay. When I came out, all of my male straight friends disappeared....

[@VenusEvan_1885]

You live where hetero men exist? What planet you are from? Because on planet earth heterosexual men don't exist

[@yanndick]

If they disappeared, they actually were no friends.

[@thomascarneal3962]

@@yanndick I know but I still miss them.......

[@Winspur1982]

@@thomascarneal3962 I hope you will come to see that pining for cowards is much less desirable than seeking out courageous people, whereever you can find them, whatever they look like.

[@jim9520]

Mark just saw this video. Another great video. Mark you said your goal this year was to make more fun video . But then problems problems pop up and you talk about them. Good for you that you talk about them. That is one reason why I like you. You are a real person who deals with real problems in your life. Isn`t that what we should all do? Keep up the great work.

[@coryrob]

This topic couldn’t have come at a better time Mark. I truly know that gay relationships are hard as well. My best friend of over 10 years recently ended our friendship. Over the time I have known him,and loved him, I developed feelings for him and he told me that that could never happen. But now he ended the friendship and it hurts to let go. I tried my best not to fall for him but I did. Cus he means the world to me. So I now have to venture out and try to find a replacement of him and I can’t. We were never intimate with each other. But we had a platonic love that I now truly miss. It brings me to tears thinking about it. I wish it weren’t that way because I miss him a lot. So thank you for talking about your topic today. They are difficult to maneuver. I will never take for granted a gay relationship ever again. It’s painful. 😢. The process of healing is taking forever.

[@jbar_85]

I lost a gay best friend of 9 years. We just grew apart, especially on his side of the friendship. It’s very hard but I’ve accepted it and it’s been a few years.

[@byefelicia8632]

Stop the pity party and the begging for his love. Work on your self esteem and worth and cut him out of your thoughts and life. Learn to live alone. You can do this you beautiful hearted man. If nothing works then I’ll marry you 😄

[@rlrober]

Mark....your content is just so relatable and genuine. I feel like if I met you in person, you would be the same person as on your channel. What a rarity. Thank you !!!

[@Bgdk]

I’m about to turn 30 and I’m over dating lol sure, everybody craves companionship, but I have my friends. I care way too much about my peace and sanity; I will always put myself first.

[@jasonhaven7170]

Are you White? Do you have racial preferences?

[@Bgdk]

@@jasonhaven7170 what the hell kinda question is that

[@jasonhaven7170]

@@Bgdk It's difficult to sympathise with White gay men who have racial preferences since they're setting themselves up for failure.

[@iwnunn7999]

When a relationship starts, it's one ego romancing the other. That's why they often fail. 3-6 mos down the road you start seeing who they really are and it can be shocking

[@TheVesko95]

Mark when it comes to relationships, I think it is extremely important to first and foremost find someone who shares similar values to yours and expect that there will always be a period of alignment. I think gay people in general tend to be perfectionists in a world where nobody is perfect. I am not suggesting that you should put up with excessively constantly difficult situation or a toxic relationship buuuut equally you should never give up on what you believe in or what you are after. I've been married for 5 years now and there have been extremely hard times due to different circumstances in our lives but the one good thing we did is that regardless we just accepted that our relationship is more important than anything else and always just pushed forward, I've changed countries, he's changes cities and jobs and so on. It is not about asking for permission but about you wanting to be with that person and just sharing life together knowing what might feel him uncomfortable. All relationships are difficult but from my experience gay relationships are more bevause people are often idialistic, dont compromise and expect everything to be always easy and perfect and just don'tfight for it as it is easier to let go. This is at least from my experience

[@mrzoukdotcomzouklambadaboo8212]

It's also cos it's 2 men, men typically in relationships are designed to lead, so either pick a role or change roles....and mix it up.

[@richardtaylor9408]

I have been in a relationship for 20 years and it is work but not all the time. Its good to always have someone to count on and sure we all like to be independent but sometimes you just need some ones help no matter what it might be and its nice to know you always have it. After 20 years jealousy is not really an issue, sometimes he goes on vacation without me and I don't care because I totally trust him and vice versa. The important part is to spend a little time apart every now and then; as they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

[@Sjjones1977]

I've been there and done that. Relationships are hard, but what makes it harder is when your partner has one of those "friends" that you feel uneasy about and gives those vibes. My ex had one and around her, I always felt like there was something there. What was it? At the time, I didn't know. Once we broke up, I found out. My ex would tell her everything, and she was always sworn to secrecy. Yep, she knew when he was cheating, who it was with, my personal issues, secrets, etc. I found out from her after he betrayed her. To me, it made me realise it wasn't fear of her stealing my boyfriend that made me not like her. It was the fact that she protected him and never spoke up about his cheating. Especially since she knew how I felt about people who have cheated on their partners. What I am saying is, quite often, it's not the concern of that friend trying to steal their partner away one may have. As for dating in the gay community? It's toxic, superficial, fake, and outright horrible. I prefer to be alone than to be out there dating.

[@tvgamerstan6180]

I'm 27 now and I'm just over finding love. I'm someone who's always been judged for my physical appearance from when I was a kid and into my adulthood, so I just got over it. Plus, I'm not really social anyway, so a relationship would be pointless. I don't even want friends either. Some of us just aren't meant to have a circle of friends and have a significant other.

[@joeyokpako8990]

Many hugs. ❤ I wish we could talk a bit more about it.

[@jasonhaven7170]

Are you White? Do you have racial preferences?

[@tvgamerstan6180]

@jasonhaven7170 I'm black and no I don't have racial preference.

[@jasonhaven7170]

@@tvgamerstan6180 That's good

[@thevilkids]

Periodt queen

[@NewAirraa]

As usual, I love your editing skills so very much. I haven’t seen a video from you in a while but I’ve been a long time supporter for yearsss now. Definitely love to see you cross my feed.❤️

[@DesiderioPace]

Always a great day when Mark posts a video here and on Patreon. I totally get where your friend's boyfriend comes from because my boyfriend of 5 years also doesn't like one particular friend of mine and always gets worried whenever this friend and I hangout. Although I assured him that he's just a friend and that there's nothing going on between us but he still is sceptical about him. Of course I keep giving my boyfriend words of affirmation since it's his love language and I give him all the assurance he needs whenever I am hanging out with this particular friend.

[@bluecheese7447]

Mark you have been a very important stepping stone towards my self identification. Watching you & E when I was a little boy showed me that it was possible I could live my life the way I wanted, that being gay & out & proud was ok.

[@danitaylor3691]

Yay!! I get so happy every time I get a notification that you’ve uploaded a video. Sending you all my love and support ❤

[@Brunomlalves]

I’ll just pop in and put my two cents in. I think people should rethink the way we live relationships, specially romantic ones. I believe we’re still entangled on what society have been teaching us for decades, and what’s expected from us. Simple things like sleeping in different rooms (not excluding sleeping together, but having that option available), spending more time alone and with friends without our partner, deciding together if monogamy makes sense for the couple, if finances should be bound together, all that stuff that we are used to see as certain, in my point of view, should be questioned and tailored to the couple’s wishes and taste. It’s so weird for me that when people start a committed relationship, they sort of lose a part of their identity. That makes me cringe so much, because that will end up creating so many stressful situations, and could potentially break the relationship apart. (Of course there are couples that thrive on those “old” habits) It’s hard to go deep on the subject in a comment but what I mean is that, in my experience, when you focus on your relationship with yourself, on your needs and wishes, you’re more open to understand and embrace other’s needs and wishes. Finding a common ground where everyone involved is comfortable is key. And sometimes, or most times, that might mean having a relationship outside the status quo. Relationships should make us grow and help us be even better, they should not make us feel stuck, limited and resentful. Hope no one feels offended, I don’t judge.

[@gianfranco_maldetto_92]

One of the most idiotic comments I have ever read.

[@robertg7249]

i used to be not jealous at all. i even liked my bf having friends other than me, cuz it assured me if anything happened to me or our relationship he would be fine. but then i got cheated on by him. by the very same person i was happy he was hanging out with. he straight up went to that dude for everything he used to get from me and then he destroyed our relationship piece by piece. he later admitted he was depressed and started cheating because he thought it would make his depression go away since he thought that would fix his whole life or idk. i asked whether that helped with his depression.. he said it did jack shit with it and he is still depressed but now he feels the same way towards the new guy like the way he felt towards me in our first few years. that pissed me off, cuz he admitted with that sentence that he felt the same way towards me but he failed to recognise that feeling will never last forever especially after 3-4 years.. that feeling fades no matter who you are with. and i simply couldn't compete with him not understanding this fact and thinking he should feel that way towards me after years of being together in good and bad. i still wanted to fix it, but he basically told me that we have no future together cuz he won't stop seeing him. so i moved out, and in with a friend who also got cheated on around the same time i have been. now.. now i'm not as trusting. and definitely more jealous than before. especially if it involves other gays and bi guys. i always had trust issues, i trusted my ex 300%, so i never actually thought he would do shit like this and that's where i fucked up. i never had trust issues i just have common sense. my feelings towards him fucked with that sense and i let us drift apart, i let him drift inside someone else's ass hole. rofl the worst of it all, he kept lying to me that everything is fine and that he has 0 issues with me and our relationship for a whole fucking year. he would have kept doing it if i didn't confront him.. so basically i was sitting there thinking that something is off, but he says everything is fine so i was like kay we are all good. but no we weren't good at all. and he said nothing. even when i noticed and asked, he said there is nothing to worry about and i took his word for it, cuz i had no reason not to. i'm not angry at either of them really, cuz i always try and find the issue in myself first and i know i might have not been the best bf at the time, but neither was he. we were both depressed fucks, waiting for a miracle to fix things. i always thought if any of us cheats it would be me, but turns out i'm a loyal hoe. so i guess i have that going for me. funny thing is we talk every day since. i both love and hate him still. i want to know about his days, he was my everything for years. but at the same time. i'm not sure i could ever get back there now that i'm out. and even if i forgive him for cheating, it will be always inside my mind that once a cheater always a cheater.

[@freddyjafar1490]

I am right there with you buddy. And mine was my first love. He cheated saying he wasn't sure about his feelings for me and felt disgusted but afterwards i couldn't look at him the same. It got derailed. Communication was never his strongest suit and it felt like I was putting 100% whereas he couldn't even understand what 10% means cos i was the first guy he did anything with. I tried moving on but it's not the same. I'm saner and stronger now but sadder for it. I don't know what he's up to cos I nurtured my own strength. He's not strong and clearly, you aren't either. Stop talking to him. Really move on and maybe just maybe you'll find someone who will work with you. Your ex doesn't need to be in your life. Not worth it.

[@NurseNick420]

I am in a similar situation now with my boyfriend. He likes to fuck around with his online friends and I told him that I am fine with it if he is fine with me doing stuff with my friends.

[@nikkilogan7726]

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY.... Sometimes, you need to find yourself alone. Its very hard to find someone who has 'standards' & sometimes, its very exhausting & frustrating. When you found 'the one' but the other one is not ready, sometimes you ask yourself 'what's wrong?', 'why did you gave up?'. Sometimes its just tiring to find the right one. Sometimes, being alone is better.... to do things you want to do, to do things you love. No one will force you. No one will stop you. Sometimes, we need to enjoy life being alone but open your heart to someone who gives you time, who understands you, who also opens their heart to yours. We need to be alone to find yourself & when the right one comes, we will have a happy ending again. Thanks Mark 😎🏳️‍🌈💖💐

[@zonegreat5273]

Mark, you're such a saint spirit. Hearing you encounter such basic things as jealousy of some third party people seems so surreal, because you have moved so far away from all that lifestyle. But it still finds you, love how unbothered you are with it. Watching you makes all the noice around to quiet down, I can only imagine how easy you move through life now, thanks to all your growth

[@tmichael39]

I find you articulate your feelings and perspectives on situations really well. Have a great day.

[@oneilcarter579]

🎉 I can't believe it. ❤ I've been with you on this journey for 10 years. Back then I was closeted, didn't think I'd ever find love and now I'm married, I love my career.... and I'm still here with you, rooting for you. I have so much admiration for you. If I could send you a big hug across the distance I would. You are the primary pivot point that resulted in me being who I am today. Thank you so much. Regardless of where life takes you, you will always have an audience here that loves you.

[@lawrenceharris7369]

A very wise outlook Mark. Life does evolve. “comes in your face” 😂😂😂

[@MarvinNeumannOfficial]

One of the positive things of KZbin and your type of content (sharing personal stories) is, that I (and thousands others) feel at ease, at home and just a sense of belonging. Praise to the parasocial relationship. :D So thanks Mark for sharing. So in a way I learn from your struggles, thoughts, positive moments. Also in terms of dating men I became so so so close minded I want to say in terms of my type and what that person has to „bring to the table“. People tend to say, that I might be too nit picky but honestly, just like you I am happy „alone“ as well not being in a relationship, and I cherish that. I kind of want to be selective because in a way I don't need someone to fulfill my life's story. If that makes any sense. Thanks for your work. Best, Marvin.

[@kevinp4718]

I'm loving to watch your videos. Keep doing it! Greetings from Brazil. Is great to see how you can turn your daily routine in a interesting video and also have the time to really talk to us and explain how your life works, thank u for it.

[@OutLoudJB]

Beautiful video as always, Mark - thanks for sharing!

[@JoaquinGonzalezSmilingalways]

Great video, thank you so very much for sharing this with us. ❤

[@JL-re1rx]

Hey Mark - Thanks for sharing as always. LOVE your photography-cinematography & your talent with design as well - Stay amazing!!

[@abravegirl6613]

Mondays with Mark are the best. Love the depth of your soul and realness. I’ve been my own best companion for more years than I care to count. I’m so glad you are well. ❤

[@klauswilsonWilson]

Sooooo glad to see you’re doing great Mark! Over (so many) years I’ve been watching your videos. Happy; you’re happy in your journey! ❤

[@TheKristoffer1994]

Allways Nice to spend some time with your vids dude! Thanks!

[@bhambihira1157]

hi, hope you notice me.

[@marlonelias]

Most of the RACISM and DISCRIMINATION I’ve experienced as an ASIAN guy came from the GAY community!.!.

[@ryanb9930]

They are hard, I'm going through a really hard breakup. There is no closure and that makes it rough.

[@3506Dodge]

Gay relationships are hard where there aren't many gay men who want or can have gay relationships. There is a reason why gay male life is still concentrated in big cities. Gay men who want relationships have to be able to find each other. It's that simple.

[@The1n0nIy1]

Yes and there's not that many gay guys to start off with. It's way easier for straight people to find each other because they make up like 98% of the population.

[@spaceexploration4169]

The problem is many guys in those dating sites are NOT SERIOUS. Too many guys playing fkn games.

[@ryanscottlogan8459]

If you have a relationship with trust you never have to worry about any new friends taking your man.

[@TheAlfredPlatform]

These comments are so depressing. 90% of yall have dudes in your inbox or in your life that want to be with you but you don't feel the same. There's so many guys out here and we have people in their 30s and 40s talking about giving up. Like, log off social media, maintain reasonable standards for a man, stop looking for the next best thing, be willing to compromise, and make it work 😅

[@liohent9508]

What short-sighted comments. What are your "reasonable standards"? Who says the majority here are just looking for the "next best thing" or then "settling"? What does "compromise" mean to you anyways? 90% is absurdly high of an amount to assume are guys that people have tried to reach out to that you're implying they're blowing off. Your anecdotal experience is not the average. Stop projecting, stop investing your own emotional state in others KZbin comments, grow up, and sit down. Nothing you just said is productive or helpful.

[@johnmoon2734]

MARK, you just keep getting more and more AWESOME! Please share with Donnie how awesome he is too! 💖

[@SABOREAME68]

⭐⭐⭐⭐ Mark, it is good to see you. I learned long ago, life doesn't give you the people you want, life gives you the people you need, to miss treat you and ultimately help you become the person you were meant to be... Abrazos

[@jbt6007]

We certainly don't get to choose our biological family but everyone else is completely random, based on circumstance, and we need discernment to decide if they belong in our life of not (including our biological family). I don't believe anyone is sent to mistreat us. .

[@ds99]

I’ve been following you for over 10 years. I don’t speak up much but I just wanted to say I always enjoy your videos. Thank you.

[@iggyvonmoon]

I needed this so much. Thank you, Mark. I've been watching since the beginning but it is beautiful to see this and your shared perspective.

[@johndoyle3514]

I've been following you for years and love your message. You are such an inspiration to those of us that are willing to listen. Thanks!

[@bhambihira1157]

hi John hope you notice me. thank you

[@brentbraniff]

I've never been in a relationship but I expect that if I was and my boyfriend had a friend as good looking and personable as you are there would be a bit of suspicion creeping in on my part. I know that I would think that I had nothing to offer in comparison to a guy like yourself so I would be a bit afraid that he would kick me to the curb in a second for a chance with someone like you. I know it's my own low self esteem taking over in cases like that but in the gay world, looks and attractiveness are very important and guys like me, who have less to offer in that department, always feel a bit threatened. Anyway, good for you for understanding these feelings and giving your friend's boyfriend a pass on his suspicion of you.

[@miker2236]

It’s great to see you come forward and share your experience about all this. I really enjoyed the video.

[@RBenjo21]

Do you not get lonely? I do all the time. I don’t have a lot of friends and have no friends who are around me a lot so I do get quite lonely.

[@ken78969]

I've watched your channel grow over the years. The content that is. I've enjoyed being allowed to see the progress. FYI the look you were channeling during the editors note. Was the best yet.

[@Athum5]

Honestly this is very delicate topic where most people would love to be alone and enjoy it to the fullest, especially if they've been through a lot of bad relationships. There's some others where they just don't fit into the idea of living or having a partner for that long. I just think that we should appreciate everything at our current state in life but nothing should be easy imo. I love my bf to death even though this would sound scary, yes, we've had our ups and downs, but that makes it even a stronger bond for me. You're the best Mark, love your vids.

[@grantsanderson5874]

I have the hugest crush on you and I’ve crushed on you for a couple years! Your content makes me feel good about myself. You also spread so much positivity and kindness. You are a good man!

[@GrotrianSeiler]

God, Mark is so young and so wise. Being in a committed relationship is not for everyone, even if your coupled friends tell you so. They just don’t understand. We all have our own journey. When in doubt, be kind.

[@thokozanimahlangu1374]

Great video yet again, love the way you put your videos together. It's weird/strange to me when partners have an issue with a friend especially when you've been dating for a while. As a long term partner I feel like if you like me, more than likely you should like my friends because they are in my life for a reason, especially as an adult (friends are a reflection of who I am to a certain extent). Having said that, it doesn't mean my friends and my partner should be friends. Most adults don't keep friends that aren't real friends so it's always strange when a partner doesn't like a specific friend especially if I've detailed the nature of our friendship. Insecurities of my partner aren't mine to carry all I can do is try and reassure my partner and if that doesn't help the work is on my partner to investigate.

[@chrisheller8305]

I'm almost 64 and done with dating. I wish the best of luck to anyone that is in the gay dating game, especially anyone around my age or older. The best of hope, health and luck them.

[@fieldsofgold775]

Happily single & queer here. I’ve been in a few relationships when I was in my 20’s - 30’s. Enough to know that I’m not relationship material. Every relationship was exhausting. I’d run a mile from any long term relationship.😂 I’m proud to say.

[@Markini47]

Always enjoyed your constant but especially your recent content. You seem more at ease.

[@thorceltic]

Born & raised in Southern California, I moved away in 2020 just before the pandemic. The best thing I ever did. You all can have it!

[@michaelstuermer3915]

The gay community is notorious for sleeping around with their friends. If your boyfriend is flirtatious, I would have issues with them hanging out with their "friends" and regularly excluding you when they do. Retrospect has proven that viewpoint correct in many of my past relationships.

[@lchcstal]

Mark I love your videos. I purchased one of your photography photos from you a year a two ago and you wrote a small note under it. Saying have a great day it stays by my door and I see it everyday I walk out. Coming from you it encourages me a lot. Thank you for who you are.

[@mikekelly702]

Love your vids...specially the one where you talked about social ansxt. Im about to go on a road trip to Vegas...where I grew up. Keep being inspiring.... Keep posting the good vibes.

[@Jeffh206]

I think we’ve all been in that situation, where we get jealous, or concerned about our partner, being attracted to a friend or whatever. Mark, I’m thinking that there’s something more to the story when it comes to this friend, boyfriend being jealous, or threatened by your relationship with his boyfriend. Because it doesn’t make sense that he is trustworthy around other guys and you’re the only one he doesn’t trust his boyfriend with and you’ve given no reason to make him feel that way. So really I think the trust issue is not about you. The trust issue is about the boyfriend and his partner and I think that’s really the issue and I don’t know why that’s an issue when you’re around or when your name comes up in conversation. But there’s something not quite adding up…lol. Great topic I like your contact as always.. ❤

[@typhilips8122]

Yeah Jeffrey I think that's intuitive. I had a recent situation losing whom I thought was a wonderful friend and all I can really conjecture is that it came down to a jealous boyfriend. The thing I found difficult after my friend abruptly ended our friendship--ghosting and acting so strange with behavior out of line with what had become the foundation of our friendship--is they both know I am in a longterm happy relationship of 2 decades and all 4 of us hung out together on a couple of occasions. We have (had) much in common and I truly valued and honored this young man but somehow I must accept whatever it is that he decided our friendship over a couple of years was not worth it for whatever personal reasons. There was never any indication, explanation or even incident to give me a clue. Just end with only a curt mention of having to set a boundary. So one may never know what goes on in peoples minds even when ones intentions are to be a true and trustworthy friend. You can invest a LOT in someone and it may amount to nothing. But nothing ventured, nothing gained so my advice even to myself is to not let something like this darken your outlook and there are many wonderful guys out there who will LOVE being your friend or maybe even more at some point.

[@user-dx6no5pw4t]

I am not into relationships, but someone told me that lust can sometimes blind you to the soul. When you get into a relationship you are also adopting someone's inner child. And you have to be aware of that. You have to deal with the demands of that child. The lust fascination always wears off. By the time straights get to that point they often have kids, so they stay together because the kids give them so much in common, but Gays don't generally have kids unless they want them and are also relatively rich. T

[@ericfreshcorn3590]

i,m single

[@c0t0d0s7]

I left California in 2003 and my first few trips back were a bit tough. I kept asking myself “what was I thinking?” when I moved away. But subsequent visits (including this past weekend) have become easier. I have fond memories of my time there, but I needed a change.

[@brandonlrushman2870]

I’m 28 and honestly not interested in relationship. I’ve never been and always thought the older I get that maybe that idea of needing someone would click. It hasn’t. I enjoy being alone, cold and detached from that.

[@stevenej9894]

I can understand why your friend's boyfriend is intimidated- you're really sweet and extremely good looking.

[@frankgyure3154]

I just found your channel. Heart breaking and Life Affirming.

[@michaelmetcalf2715]

Always a great Monday when Mark Posts a new vlog. 💪💪👑👑🙏

[@armanarman1941]

Mark you ain’t alone, you are free dude 😉 Enjoy your ride as much as you can☺️

[@JapChinLuvr]

Good to see Mark back home in Indy! I've been following him since college days, and while I live on Indy's west side, I never expect to actually meet him. I'd probably be "star-struck". I did, however, try the "Root and Bone". Their eclectic selection of food is interesting, but my tastes are a bit simpler. Anyhow, I appreciated that talk about friendships and relationships. I had a close friend whom I never expected to develop into a relationship with, but when he developed a relationship with a guy who insisted that they move to Chicago, I was prohibited from even contacting my friend. I guess he was just insecure. I just moved on with other friends - but there will always be a sadness in my heart for what might have been, with him in my little circle of friends, and in the various joys of life that we have experienced. I was often his "designated driver", and he incredibly respected my advice when I felt that he had "had enough" on one of our "nights out on the town". I try to keep most of my memories happy ones - but this one really makes me sad. Following Mark has had its ups and downs, and while we have many differences, I respect his choices, and appreciate his willingness to share his life with me through KZbin. My best wishes will always go with him, whether he stays here in Indy, or moves to some more exciting venue.

[@RyanZview]

this video made me somewhat sad. not so much about the dating commentary, but the thought of moving a bunch all over the country. My husband and I moved from the San Francisco Bay Area early last year to the East Coast, more specifically, to the NYC metro area in Northern New Jersey. Although I've visited the bay a few times in the past year and half, my heart still aches after having lived there for more than 20 years. I think it's just my attachment is so strong

[@dionneking8]

there's peace being alone

[@raymarsh5455]

You remember those years where you had to deny being Gay in school? Well, that is the reason that Gay relationships are difficult. Adult Gay males constantly have locked shields. Men are very hard to understand behind the shields.

[@jasonsubhan8479]

I like your apartment and your glasses with the yellow tint.

[@jacobliu2024]

Got a severe PTSD from past relationships, now at the point that I’m too tired to even try

[@TONYZANDERZ]

wice cwispyyyyyy 🤣❤️ also on dating in the gay world... I think being genuine with your emotions and feelings and then also saying exactly what you mean is a MUST, which should be a given & common sense, but SO much of dating in the within the LGBTQ+ space is filled with regurgitation and projection married with trauma dumping WITHOUT the intent to actually better yourself and come together as a couple... so many people just come into relationships broken and in pieces and just expect the other person to make due/use/or make art with what's there and it's like.... no... there is SO much healing and processing and emotional evolution to go through before someone is "ready" and "able" to give and reciprocate genuine unconditional love. You're a very articulate person so it almost comes second nature to you but I'm finding A LOT of people just aren't as in touch with themselves or as "healed" as they project 🤷 a smiling face doesn't mean someone is thriving just that they've found momentary bliss amongst the noise

[@phillipsmith7759]

You have become a very engaging, enlightened man. It was delightful to hear this video.

[@theophilos0910]

I’m diggin the Dalmatian towards the end - show more of Donny’s pet dog !! LoL