Do Trans Men and Cisgender Men Think The Same?

[@BrianTerada]

Use BEFREE to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3E2lQMF

[@cjthompson420]

“Use this code for things I myself don’t even believe or agree with so I can collect money off You before going home to my MAN who doesn’t have cewchi flaps. Lmao how low can brian go?

[@PatricenotPatrick]

I don’t support misogynistic kweens who walk back Gay equality before going home to a whole man. Gross

[@trevormichael4906]

Never. I could never support anyone that’s trying to deteriorate manhood and in conjunction womanhood for MONEY. Brian you are truly a regressive individual.

[@ristic-tistic-oliver]

Did that guy dirty just interrupting him with an ad 💀

[@wallwood]

​@@amberbrock6440he is not a woman tho???

[@ristic-tistic-oliver]

@amberbrock6440 that entire comment was wild lmao-

[@ZogDraws66]

I'm not the only one lol, yea that was low

[@lavender5624]

i don't think i've ever seen viewer retention dip SO HARD for an ad read before LMAO

[@Jakeyisdead]

​@@ristic-tistic-oliver I deadset came to the comments to say "The second a trans dude opens his mouth an ad interrupted him" 😅

[@Linwhiteheart]

I respect the fuck out of Marcus for just being real and saying "It's your life, my opinion doesn't matter" like y'all don't need to be going to war to prove your an ally, literally this is all we ask.

[@Kinosec-10]

And what females want are for trans women to stay out of our changing rooms, prisons and sports. But nobody listens to women.

[@Krystalized_Python]

Yesssssss ❤

[@BISH9484]

Marcus gives off simp vibe...

[@Lock484]

​@@BISH9484no, Marcus gives off absolutely Chad vibes, wtfym bro? 🤔

[@BISH9484]

@@Lock484 you're probably a simp as well.

[@TwitchGlitch123]

People forget that "transition" isnt just medical. Most of it is social. A kid wanting hair, name, and clothes that express their current understanding of their gender doesn't require a doctor or medical intervention at all and doesn't even have to be permanent. All the fear around trans kids is so blown out of proportion if you actually know all the steps that come before puberty blockers are even on the table. Its not like a quick, on a whim decision and puberty blockers aren't even permanent either! What is permanent is that one choice so many people make when the hopelessness of being denied healthcare and acceptance gets to be too much. These laws are affecting real people who deserve a life of safety and freedom to be who they are.

[@SleepyHollowKnight]

Personally, I strongly believe that no child should ever MEDICALLY transition before the age of 18. Socially, they can transition whenever they want and should have to face no discrimination.

[@Mattt-hii]

Beautifully said

[@walter-vq1fw]

​@SleepyHollowKnight Why do cis boys get breast's removed for gynemacostia at 16? Are you ok with that but not trans boys doing the same? i would agree, if the expenses of being forced to grow breasts/etc didn't get dropped on them by a country that doesn't care about them anymore once they turn 18.. let kids have puberty blockers if their situation calls for it. It's non permanent I would also agree if there was a clear hypocrisy between "cis guys are allowed to get breasts removed as kids" and trans guys aren't. Don't even get me started on intersex people

[@SleepyHollowKnight]

@ I’m kinda confused. Cis guys don’t have prominent breast’s? Why would they need that??

[@askatuproductions]

Idk I was a "tomboy" growing up, I used to love doing "boy" stuff, wearing unisex clothing and sometimes I wished I wasn't a girl but that was only because of the stupid stereotypes back in the day... Although female puberty sucks, I found out later as a teenager that I really wasn't trans.

[@soda_the_clown]

Nah, interrupting the trans guy on the first question was actually foul! Like, couldn't you wait til the end of his answer to out the ad?!

[@Finncosmos9327]

That's what I was thinking, I almost clicked off the video for that one,, especially with the long ass promo after it 💀

[@demonfromunderyourbed4580]

yup. skipped the whole ad because honestly I don't care what the fuck you're advertizing if it's done like this.

[@Val_aksy]

LITERALLY. Like can you not make it about yourself for a second pls

[@amberbrock6440]

Lol it's cuz woman never get the same respect as men 😂

[@JatuliaButeo-rp6hv]

​@@demonfromunderyourbed4580yea freakin stale ass corndog

[@byletheisner8269]

as someone who is 22 and has been a trans male since 14, when it comes to dating apps, disclosing in your bio is the best choice no doubt. when i was younger and would use teen dating apps, i didn't disclose until about a week of talking to the person. i experienced constant rejection, and it negatively affected my mental health because it felt like nobody would ever want me. when i disclosed upfront in my tinder bio, 95% of my matches have no problems with it (ive had some who didn't read my bio at all lmao). i understand it not being all of who you are. i HATE talking about being trans to those im not close to. but reality is harsh and the reality is that you're going to be wasting your time if you do not disclose upfront, and taking years to discover that has sucked.

[@loganscottcolton4703]

This is a good point. I'd generally rather go on a date with someone who already knows I'm trans but I'm personally hesitant to put it in my bio because of chasers and I don't wanna make myself a target. I've been considering trying out a dating app but I worry about safety and whatnot.

[@Romcomm_]

Yes exactly that's why I don't understand why you wouldn't unless you were stealth bc what happens if you chat with someone for a month and you tell them you're trans and now they feel tricked and get violent? Or even just reject you? Like, you'd be setting everyone up for failure/heartbreak/violence if you don't

[@YokAyu]

I don’t ever do this because of the people who fetishize us. I personally have bad sexual trauma because of somebody who knew already that I’m trans and took advantage of that without my consent, be careful out there.

[@nichole8]

Wish I could like this 100 times. I believe this would weed out a lot of the unsafe or uncomfortable experiences and allow the right people to find their person.

[@asongfromunderthefloorboards]

I'm transfem so the dynamic is probably quite different but I have had the opposite experience. I always preferred to meet men and only tell them after a date or two. Putting it on my profile didn't help for me because you still get people who don't read the profile or chasers or whatever. I also was pretty stealth and living in a fairly small college town. So I was always nervous about too many people knowing. I'd always break the news over text though, so they didn't know where I lived and I wasn't there in person, just in case they flipped out. They were often taken aback but hit me up the next day or so. I think the biggest thing with dating cishet men as a trans person is that many are scared that other people will know and judge them. So I never let men keep me a secret but I'm happy to keep my transness a secret. But 20 years later, I realized that trying to live in cishet society was not worth it. I'm a lot more involved in the Queer community, openly nonbinary, and much less interested in dating cishet men these days. Things also may have changed in 20 years. There's much more negative propaganda but a lot more people who live in modern cities know at least one or two trans people, so the stigma is decreasing. The same thing happened with gay people. The stigma isn't gone but it's better than it was in the 90s or earlier.

[@emiofnnc]

these dudes all seem so chill, love this vid

[@mariarosariaaloisio]

Fr

[@SadGirlNoceda]

im a trans woman and im split for the first question. obviously you shouldnt be forced to tell someone youre trans but especially in our current societal climate, id be making absolutely sure they knew i was trans before we even met in person because theres alooooot of people out there whod kill me especially if they thought i was like deceiving or tricking them or some shit like that. also this is probably one of the most respectful video ive ever seen like this

[@321hackertime5]

Real asf I’m a trans guy and I feel like I shouldn’t be forced to tell you. I think it’s just a little different if you don’t have bottom surgery, since yknow people have sexual preferences

[@Reienroute]

The way I look at this is that believing a person has the right to their prejudice is not the same as believing you need to be a whistle blower for that cause. Like if a person didn't want to date a person of a specific herritage, you may feel like they shouldn't be "forced" to date someone of that ethnic background, but that's not a moral obligation to rat yourself or someone else out, especially not preemptively. Obviously pre-op is something that would eventually need to be disclosed since it could cause a sexual compatability issue, but anything other than that which would create issues with someone who has already taken things that far with a trans person is straight up transohobia, and nobody is obliged to cater to that. Like at that point, regardless of what the person *thinks* they're into, what they're *actually* into has already been shown. The real issue there comes from a mistake in self labeling. Like say a guy who identifies as straight meets another dude and is like, "man that guy's body is so tight and I love the bulge in his pants and the way he smiles and his smell makes me dizzy and his eyes give me flutters... but I'd never date him because I'm not gay". Like sorry dude, you're obviously denying yourself what you want due to labels. Now apply this to a guy who meets a trans woman and he likes all of the stuff that makes her feminine and pretty... he's already shown he's attracted to her, so being like, "well I couldn't date her because I'm not gay", is a clear act of denial. Like either this shows that, yes in fact you are gay, which is obviously ridiculous since you like her for all the same reasons you'd like a cis woman, or there's the more reasonable option, admit to yourself that being attracted to a trans person doesn't make you gay. So basically, I see not disclosing on a first date as simply being the absence of giving any validation to a person's potential lack of self knowledge due to prejudicial norms. It's not trans peoples' responsibility to preempt your personal issues.

[@VictorKupari]

I think this is a valid point and an argument, however I think this might be more of a difference of circumstances. Meeting people through the internet and from dating apps I'd say it's just for a safety measure good to be sure to share that kind of information in, essentially, anonymous environment where you get to safely assess if you should even meet with the person to begin with. But people do also meet and start going on dates "organically" through IRL (work, school, events etc) where I think it may be a matter of waiting until longer to share that kind of information. That's just my own experience, I'm a rather cispassing transguy and when I meet people irl and I have gone on dates that way, I have not disclosed the fact that I am trans until it's important and relevant information to our relationship and that's worked for me. Online though I've been upfront about it

[@ryder389]

As someone who had gender reaffirming surgery a week before turning 18, I had to jump through a LOT of hoops to do that. And it absolutely saved my life.

[@auroraborealis1383]

How did you do that? Was it on the NHS? I've been trying to save up for private, but ofc if there's a way to keep the money for other things, I'd love that

[@ryder389]

@@auroraborealis1383 It was private. It was very expensive but I’m blessed enough that my mom thought that the money was worth it, considering I was in a very dark place and she knew that it would help tremendously.

[@alexandermallett6674]

I get what you mean I had top surgery about a year ago so I understand completely and k have had so many issues before that so I understand

[@gameramelia4425]

I'm just asking for understanding. At what age do you feel it's okay for someone under the age of 18 to undergo hormonal therapy and gender reassignment surgery?

[@altLeaf17]

i was able to get top surgery fully covered and done 5-6 months before my 18th, and im so glad i was able to. 24 now and have never once regretted!

[@P2NK_1]

The only time I’m happy KZbin has that “ quick skip “ button for the scent bird ad. That’s disrespectful to just interrupt his answer.

[@TheMoon_kat]

The guy that looks like Drake is such a sweetheart

[@eesamees]

bahahhaha Marcus

[@May.k424]

Yesss

[@__kayauauua]

comparing him to drake is wild 💔

[@david6420]

​@@__kayauauuahe kinda looks like him

[@meowsticity]

NAHH THATS FOUL😭😭

[@pio_dovbutonyoutube9301]

cis or trans, all four of them dress the same

[@DUWANGlai_kangyi]

Such bro energy

[@osprey3543]

they do not

[@mrzzsnap4663]

I really love the con man with the fire sleeves on his jacket . He’s so open minded

[@VelvetRose-444P]

😂👍

[@Lock484]

Absolutely. And at the end, I started to like David as well, he's obviously much more of a typical normie straight guy, but also open minded and already an ally in many ways, I bet you thinking about this conversation is gonna openhim up even more in the future. Amd being vulnerable amd sharing his trauma was a really sweet moment, overall this was a banger ,😎🤪 And I don't need to say anything about Marcus, what a Chad 😌😂

[@alexreid442]

as a trans guy, there is a time and a place to tell someone you are trans, I'm proud of who I am but you never know who these people actually are if you are going on their first date or even just putting it on your profile could attract the wrong people to meet you for the wrong reasons. I also don't care if someone would or wouldn't sleep with a trans person, as long as they are being respectful everyone has preferences

[@timexyemerald6290]

I mean. For a trans person. I don't understan why your afraid for your safety of telling your trans-men when your meeting a women. In all honesty to her you have a more of physically enhanced by man hormone women women body. Your the safety hazard for the women your dating. And your hiding something major from that women. 😅. When your dating. I think you have to tell upfront that your trans. Or els your just gambling your own time And the other persons time and money. 😅

[@ciernoir]

​@@timexyemerald6290 I agree that the other party should be told and probably online and not in person in other specific cases (to avoid the person getting pissed and doing a hate crime) Eveyone would be wasting their time if they were to be dating someone they generally wouldn't want to date.

[@StAmander]

@@ciernoir I’ve very iffy about this, because while we can handle a rejection if folks aren’t dicks about, I’ve had weirdos specifically look for people who are like me, trans, because they are a kink but are weird about it or worse are absolutely repulsed by my own existence and having not only been a victim of various different kinds of violence, abuse and harassment, I am well aware of others who have been targeted by transphobic violence. I am seeing the same wave of transphobic violence and harassment online as I have in the past, that I don’t feel like trans people should have to wear the trans flag like we are in Auschwitz’s because of the crazy few that take it really far. I believe it should have before the second date though, and definitely well before any physical contact occurs. I believe that it should remain private if the person feels like it needs to be private, but definitely talked about before any touch is involved. Some people will dox you as well and try to get you fired at work simply because you are trans. Try to get you disowned by your family or shunned by your congregation. I think that’s the reality of the world, until cisgender people can respect trans people’s right to live in peace and free from discrimination, I don’t think they have earned the right to know before the first date. But I do want to make it clear, it’s still important to come out before physical contact happens, o just don’t want the whole world to be so focused on my genitals or what I do in my bedroom, but the same folks who demand this are often the ones who won’t stop showing people dick pics of people who don’t want it to be shown to the public, I mean Hunter Biden is a perfect example of it. His entire personal life and addiction problems were put on display for the public to watch, and vilify him for despite being a private citizen with no real evidence of him using his dad, or his dad conspiring to get him jobs through corruption.

[@skeletonfreak.86]

David talking about sexual assult by both men and women as a child, bless him. Brave man to put that out there knowing it will be seen. Big hugs to him and may those who harmed him suffer

[@science.saurus]

I find it weird that they put the sexuality on the cis people but not the trans people? 💀

[@Lock484]

I was honestly wondering about that as well 🤔, I don't know why they didn't put it in there, maybe the participants didn't want to disclose that...? 🤔

[@SleepyHollowKnight]

Damn I didn’t even notice

[@qh6od]

i find it weird that they interrupted the guy mid sentence for an ad break lmao

[@Chip-derdumme]

I guess trans is a sexuality now

[@ponyfreund7sejgonke451]

I have a feeling that they maybe decided not to, as people who are less familiar with the topic for example might get confused about a trans man being straight (theyre into women in that case ofc). I also think It’s very weird and seems disrespectful but I don’t think it had any transphobic Intentions

[@The-aventures-of-the-Zorps]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHH!!! It’s not fighting, it’s just putting the opinions out and listening to each other. This is the beating the world.

[@sosomotion1708]

David was definitely a good choice for the debate, strong opinion but still willing to listen accept and change it. Respectful and all

[@Incatnito-insane]

these guys chill asf i fw them fr

[@sillylilguy201]

in all seriousness it's incredibly touching how vulnerable and genuine everyone is in this video.

[@sogging]

this episode just didnt hit for me... i would've liked to see not only a larger variety of types of trans & cis men, but also better questions that are more about men's issues / experiences than just talking about trans people. it felt too much like an educational lecture rather than a friendly discussion. and i think that's because its hard for cis ppl to contribute to discussions on trans issues with the same depth as a trans person, since they often don't even have much secondhand knowledge of what its like to be trans. but i think cis men DO have interesting stuff to say about being a man because thats an experience they actually have!

[@ben_adel3437]

yeah same i expected them to talk more about manhood but the questions was a lil boring

[@KiaraDeLaLuna]

Same!

[@reaperskeepers]

i agree, the questions were almost entirely centered on the topic of being trans rather than solely manhood

[@therealmulatto]

I noticed that and also when it came to responsibilities like paying the two trans were confused because gender roles can be difficult when the responsibility to pay is on one side

[@romanzmlv1458]

Stop calling us cis. There are men and women only. Trans men are not men, they’re straight women in disguise

[@jacejacobs4044]

Hey. Protect these cis guys at all cost. I love how chill they were and how open they both were in the discussions, mad respect to them for speaking their truth while respecting the experiences of the trans guys!

[@mrridikilis]

your comment sounds almost prejudiced. why would you automatically assume that cis guys would be transphobic?

[@jacejacobs4044]

@ I didn’t assume they would be transphobic, and I didn’t say that anywhere in my comment. I was saying that I enjoyed how open and respectful they were in the discussions.

[@josh3236]

Watching this video felt so comforting to me, especially because of how cruel the world and the internet has been towards queer and trans people recently. It felt nice to watch a video that wasn't debating trans people's right to exist or to self-identify and was more just a nuanced dialogue about how men view their own life experiences in regards to their gender. Props to the team for the choice of question and for creating a safe space for these men to express themselves in an open way. And props to said men for being honest and for listening attentively to each other. As a society, we need more of this; dialogue, exchanges in knowledge and experience, and especially more patience to listen to others. Awesome video!

[@Milo-ij2gu]

fr this video felt like a fresh breath of air

[@jfletchish]

As a trans person I think it's better to be super upfront about being trans and only pursue people who are totally on board. Yes it limits your dating pool, but it limits it to the people who you are going to be most compatible and safe with.

[@romanzmlv1458]

You’re a straight woman, stop living in a fantasy world

[@moniviljapaahto]

Some people want to be stealth

[@Tauro420]

I'm stealth and don't choose to "come out" everywhere all the time and I rather get to know people first. I might be interested in them so what would be the point? I also want them to get a feel for who I am. Being trans is a detail. Not my whole identity.

[@alexrose20]

Not necessarily making your dating pool safe cuz then you can get chasers and ppl with bad intentions

[@TekkatV2]

​@@alexrose20 Was about to say this lol

[@bonkersbotanicologistt4180]

It's nice to see coherent people let eachother talk and explain their points without interrupting and mocking eachother. I'm a Tans guy and really appreciated everybody's perspective.

[@midnightsarrow160]

Ikr Very refreshing to see people just having a conversation No arguments, no shouting, just adult conversations

[@atlasgillenwater2405]

As a trans person, I believe you should disclose the fact that you are trans in your bio or via text before going on a first date so that you do not accidentally attract someone who is not comfortable dating a trans person and doesn't support your identity. If you do not disclose it before anything, violence may be more likely to occur if it turns out the person you went on a date with doesn't support your gender identity.

[@Kinosec-10]

Agree. Everyone is busy these days and I don’t want to waste my time on a person that I will have no sexual interest in

[@atlasgillenwater2405]

@@Kinosec-10 Yes, precisely. Additionally, genital preference should be considered. Some people may have a genital preference and want a partner with whom they can eventually have sexual intimacy with. Therefore, it's safer to disclose your gender identity in advance rather than risking being too late to do so then finding out too late you're with the wrong person. Additionally, if you don't disclose your gender identity to someone before a date, you're subtly misleading them. It's critical to be upfront about your gender identity so that you can be certain that you're getting into a relationship with someone who supports your identity. Communication and Honesty is key 🗝️

[@willfur3328]

@@IopidI understand what you are saying, but it also goes the same way for the other person. You would be deliberating trying to hide something because you wouldn’t want the other person-who you will be considering to spend with and commit with for a long time-to dislike you, but what I just right there is deception. If you are trans, I firmly believe you have to say that you are. People who supports & love you won’t then look at you for just being trans, but your loving partner

[@atlasgillenwater2405]

@@Iopid I see your perspective, but if someone genuinely loves you, your being trans won't be a "defining trait." Additionally, I think you're risking more by not revealing that you're trans beforehand; if you end up on a date with someone who is transphobic and never intended to date a trans person, it could lead to dangerous situations. Therefore, being upfront about your trans identity before a date is, in fact, a safer approach.

[@straneas3099]

​@@Iopid yeah but we're talking about dating app here. You don't genuinely love someone after texting them for a few days, and you shouldn't waste some time by hoping that if they knew you a bit more than their preference would change, I'm saying this as a trans person. It's just the best to say something before going on a date, I wouldn't put it in the bio because of chasers tho (and because that can attract poeple wanting to do bad things to you.)

[@vasiliki_R]

You shouldn't tell someone you are trans on the first date but you should before get intimate , not only before having sex but also before other types of intimacy. I understand the need of feeling like a normal date , without the need to come out but it's important for the other person to be aware of you being trans.

[@shadowmann9]

Yes, you should tell them. Dates are courting behaviors. You have to disclose on dates, or risk the unpredictable.

[@shadowmann9]

@@vasiliki_R I agree. I am the same. I can understand that these trans people likely experience rejection from straight people so they think that hiding the truth would be better, but for me that would make me angry and would end the date immediately. There should be a law forcing them to disclose.

[@annrosentia]

It's absolutely important to let a potential partner know that you're trans because sex plays a big part in relationships for most people.

[@vasiliki_R]

@@annrosentia of course , but it's not just for sex someone might feel uncomfortable hugging or even kissing that's why I think it's better to say it before any form of intimacy. However if the date is not going well , I should not force this person to come out, or If we go out we'll speak a little bit, and then realise we don't have much in common it's ok if this person won't say anything to me. I wouldn't bother but if it goes well I want to know so I can make a decision.

[@KyleReeseCel2029]

You should tell someone before you even go on a first date in text or phone call.

[@GoofballAri]

let bro speak 😭🙏 1:29

[@Chip-derdumme]

Fr!

[@Skootfairy]

11:00 if more cis men understood that Manhood is an experience or spirit as in it's not a physical thing, even tho most of the time we think of men as penis owners. But that is a conflation with phenotypical features and social constructs. A lot men would be happier with themselves and their identity. Much love. This was a lovely interaction video.

[@sunny_jayx]

its also very worth noting that while they are men, most trans people are raised as the gender they were assigned at birth. its not a valid argument to say "see, they dont think like cis men!" because of course they dont! they have different life experiences that shape who they are and how they think

[@sunny_jayx]

this doesnt mean they're any less of a man

[@WitchKing-Of-Angmar]

​@@sunny_jayx I don't have to change my gender just because I like a barbie doll. Men are all different, women are all different. What happened to tom boys??? Why is it now a surgical change of my gender and hate for the world.

[@Strawberry.Antonade]

@@WitchKing-Of-Angmar​​⁠Tomboys still exist. Actually, there are probably more tomboys now because there is less pressure for them to “act like a lady” and conform to gender norms. This also means that it’s more acceptable for a boy to play with Barbie dolls; he can be more stereotypically feminine, but it doesn’t make him trans, and there’s no big movement to push that little boy to transition. Also, young kids aren’t getting surgeries. At most, it’ll be puberty blockers to give them time to figure themselves out, social transition, hormone replacement, and later on they get surgery if they want to. It’s a slightly more accepting environment, and people are starting to become more educated about gender, gender nonconformity, gender roles, etc, so it makes more sense that there are more out trans people.

[@WitchKing-Of-Angmar]

@Strawberry.Antonade There hasn't been pressure to act like a lady since the early 1960s, and even then, it was extremely common for young women (chic actually) to wear drainpipe pants and a casual blouse shirt, since the 1930s.

[@WitchKing-Of-Angmar]

@@Strawberry.Antonade Please don't mess with your DNA and try to change it. Accept your sex, what the hell.

[@mariadavidlopes3163]

THE AD LMAO😭 i aint buying that now lil bro

[@Goose-dw2ct]

Why did you interrupt the answer from the first trans guy on the first question with an ad??? In the MIDDLE OF HIS SENTENCE??? That's so rude!

[@danepain]

You wouldn't be complaining if they had done it with a cisgender guy instead.

[@casperthenotfriendlyghost]

@@danepainFirst of all he IS an “actual guy”. If u mean *cis* then yes, we would still complain bc interrupting anyone is rude. But the fact they interrupt the trans guy answering a question ab trans stuff makes it worse. Pls take ur transphobic comment somewhere else

[@danepain]

@@casperthenotfriendlyghost What was that man before he came out trans? Was he not born a girl?

[@Apetitegirly]

She said some Bs anyways

[@casperthenotfriendlyghost]

@@danepain yes he was afab, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s always been a guy. sex and gender r two different things

[@coolside8593]

They chose all the people who know how to dress. Like damn all there outfits were dapper

[@pringles3333]

For real, all I'm focusing on at this point

[@ultraviolet_99]

I love how all these guys were so respectfull and kind when they talked about these topics!

[@kinley.-.]

15:25 is it just me or is it so hot when a man has a philosophy like this? I’m all for splitting things 50/50 and i don’t really like gender rolls but when a man is gentlemanly like that it’s so endearing and makes you feel like such a lady!! It’s the little things like this guys!!

[@kimmiefromnarnia2059]

Its very refreshing to watch the other cis guy become more educated after actually listening to others perspectives. Great job & i hope others watch and learn

[@youretrash239]

I hope you know that hella people skipped your sponsor because of cutting off that poor dude in the middle of his sentence

[@vwolf5]

I think one aspect people forget is that not telling someone you are trans right off the bat or without context is not just safety reason or eliminating prejudices before getting to know the person, but It's simply that trans ppl aren't "deceiving" someone. (Or do you tell people every bit of info like heritage, nationality the second you meet them so "you don't lie to them"?) Not saying you're trans is not lying. Some people just live their life and happen to be trans, like some happen to be bi, some intersex, some mix race, immigrant, etc. It's part of who they are but that doesn't make them less of a man/woman and no one is sexually attracted to chromosomes or whatever anatomic/chemical mesurements you go by. In terms of intimate parts, I have never heard a man disclose he's tiny, which could very much affect relations, but a trans person with bottom surgery that is standard as cis ppl has to? Seems like the issue is not physical...

[@shadowmann9]

This is a terrible viewpoint. Nobody "happens to be trans". They have gone through or are going through surgeries, taking drugs and going through therapy in order to be trans. Nobody is born trans. Others in the comment sections get it.If you do some kind of "reveal" after you have gotten to know them without telling them, they will feel deceived.

[@emiofnnc]

@XGlocktaviusXTheXthird no... dude, trans people can be killed over that shit. That shit should left for later on when maybe youve been on like 5-6 dates and you feel comfortable around each other and it seems like there might be something, coming from it.. I aint telling that to a stranger who I just went on 1 date with, thats dangerous

[@Homeland_er]

if a dude is tiny he still probably doesn’t have a pussy and idc about the size of a guy i just DONT want someone with a pussy it’s the same way i don’t want someone who’s a hermaphrodite like dude if I’m saying I might want a sexual relationship you gotta disclose these things lol if its purely platonic/romantic that’s a different story but if we’re talking about seeing each other’s bodies then the above statement applies

[@vwolf5]

@@Homeland_er I think I left it very clear when I said "but a trans person with bottom surgery that is standard as cis ppl has to?", but just in case, I was arguing that someone who's trans (a trans man in this case) but has the "expected organs down there" shouldn't have to disclose it necessarily the same way a guy who "has it tiny" isn't required by no one to do it. I have never seen ppl argue passionately about guys having to disclose their size (understandable, the concept is also mind-blowing to me). On the other hand, I never said you shouldn't talk about it with someone you are getting to know (not on the first date unless it's a hook-up) BEFORE intimacy. Obviously you should, we do agree on that. PD: If it happened that the partner wants kids that's another thing to talk about due to the fertility issue, but I believe that's what "getting to know each other on dates" means in the first place, knowing what are the expectations for the future of the relationship.

[@emiofnnc]

@XGlocktaviusXTheXthird cant u understand how this could be for safety reasons? I get ur point, cuz being one 100 percent honest... But it could be dangerous for us... We arent well... Accepted as people by a huge margin of the population... And also, this is more personal... But cant we feel like normal regular people, just for a second?

[@SlabOfSlate]

pleasantly surprised at how civil this was, always love seeing people talking calmly about their differences n realising that they dont think so differently after all

[@puppypr1nc3]

I do wanna add telling people you are trans right off the bat could also attract trans chasers too. Some people just want us for our bodies. It's so disgusting.

[@AutisticallyArtistic-j6b]

8:12 as a trans kid i just wanna put out that his answer is beautiful and yes there are many MANY restrictions that are in place for trans youth a trans child needs to stay trans for 3 years and be in therapy for 3 years to even get puberty blockers at least in my state and you must be at least 14 years old to get on life changing hormones and they pound the life changing parts into you and they give you resources to have children in future if wanted. I understand some people might think this isn’t enough but ya please no disrespect. GOD LOVES YOU ❤❤❤

[@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan]

being religious and transgender is crazy, pick a side

[@Rat_Ranch]

@@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan What? Religion and being transgender can exist together with an open mind. Not all religions and churches are homophobic/transphobic. Also saying to “pick a side” is crazy ngl

[@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan]

@Rat_Ranch chances are this person is part of one of the main religions, so yeah they do need to pick a side

[@AutisticallyArtistic-j6b]

@@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFanhow are you today, have you been talking to god recently i hope if not that you can and that he can guide you out of your closed mindset just remember nomader what you are going through god loves you and so do i, i love everybody tho i may have days i say “i hate” i know its just because im confused and i need a moment to see the other side and guess what hate always stems from love always so i hope you can see my side and how i see the world and what i know is right and what i have full faith in. Once Again GOD LOVES YOU!

[@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan]

@@AutisticallyArtistic-j6b shaming someone for being atheist while complaining about being shamed for being religious and transgender is just... you're joking right? this is all satire?

[@Usualspec13]

Interesting discussion that created room for nuances. Thanks to all men involved.

[@ran.winkwonk8140]

as a trans man myself feel like there definitely should be restrictions on cosmetic surgeries, all cosmetic surgeries on minors. they should definitely consult a professional like a therapist, as i have, before making any decisions. i know too many trans men who have detransitioned, and i dont know why, but that goes to show that you must consult a therapist beforehand, imo

[@dtango3531]

Yeah it’s actually very hard to get trans surgeries as a minor contrary to what conservatives push out

[@walter-vq1fw]

The misconception is that we don't. Trans kids have leagues more hoops to jump through than trans adults. As a kid i had transitioned socially 4 years before I was allowed anything medical. I had a therapist, several doctors, and parents backing me. If I was missing even one of those, I wouldn't have been allowed even hormones. Let alone cosmetic surgery

[@midnightsarrow160]

Yes! I think this, cuz while yes you know yourself regardless of age, there is still a lot that comes with getting such a drastic surgery But even then, whether you think it's a phase or not, what harm comes with supporting your kid if they say they're trans? There's tons of safe options out there, clothing choices just as an example

[@Leviathan_the_mf_RAT]

@@walter-vq1fw exactly!! a trans friend of mine has been trans for a while, and i met them in highschool, and the only reason they got top surgery while still in school is because they turned 18 and had been saving for it since he knew he wouldnt be able to get it at all if he was a minor (plus he wanted to make sure he was done growing first lol)

[@walter-vq1fw]

@@midnightsarrow160 The misconception is that we don't. Trans kids have leagues more hoops to jump through than trans adults. As a kid i had transitioned socially 4 years before I was allowed anything medical. I had a therapist, several doctors, and parents backing me. If I was missing even one of those, I wouldn't have been allowed even hormones. Let alone cosmetic surgery

[@Eddie_eyes]

"being a man its like spirit, not really gender" omfg bro just said bro bruh how he just solved my gender wtfffffff perfect way to put it into words omg/gen

[@sagesmith3351]

What a respectful conversation, its nice to see one of these videos where the people in it can be reasonable and communicate

[@daeth.mp4]

i am a trans guy, i love how strongly respectful everyone is despite differing opinions. I think that it was so nice that people were hearing each other out and learning.

[@makenzee3222]

You feel some type of way about people saying they wouldn’t sleep with a trans person? Get over it! I’m a trans woman myself & I see nothing wrong with people saying they’re not interested or wouldn’t sleep with trans women specifically! It’s NOT for everyone, get over it!!

[@kuntwaii7322]

Desirability itself is not the point. The problem is when they deliberately misgender trans people just to assert and reinforce cis-heterosexuality. Then it goes from preference to disrespect and violence.

[@Jamie-zi2nf]

@@kuntwaii7322 Agree with both of you, but man - why do we have to use all this big language to make the conversations more confusing? The concepts are already complex enough. I think her point was that she's saying she's not like that. And to address your point, yes absolutely deliberate prejudice is an underlying issue - the one people are AWARE OF. What's even worse/deeper is the underlying lack of communication and fear people have - the lack of self-awareness to determine when they're upset and to distinguish their own beliefs vs what's been conditioned into their neural pathways. ALSO the FACT that we CAN ALL CHANGE IT is key* As a trans dude (who's also a deep critical thinker), I agree that it perpetuates violence. But some people just simply aren't aware of themselves enough or even aware of the terminology enough - most people even misuse the word racist or gaslighting... those words have been around much longer than words like cis or misgender. You know? People still don't understand yet. And a lack of misunderstanding, much like with any other mammal, leads to fear, which leads to violence. Just look to any lion or cat or gorilla - if they don't recognize it, they freak out - that's an instinct we also carry. BUT we are able to be metacognizant - we are able to think of how we think, and change according to how we want to manifest our actions and feeling state. Anyways, idk I'm getting real sleepy lol sorry for the rant. But yeah, I guess my point is that it's all politics and semantics and people clearly just don't know enough about it to really do many useful things yet. Baby steps I guess?

[@freepalestineleftist]

I’m bi, and while I can see myself getting with a trans man and am actually super interested haha (I prefer masculinity over femininity and vaginas over dicks, odd ik lol). But trans women are why I don’t identify as pan. I just couldn’t do it, no hate.

[@kuntwaii7322]

@@freepalestineleftist fake bi

[@kuntwaii7322]

@@Jamie-zi2nf big language? Are you 12? You said a whole lot of nothing.

[@Whatorwellsaid21]

Not being attracted to trans people is not violence. Shaming people for their preference is violence.

[@jessicarose847]

That’s not what they were talking about. They even said, it’s complete fine if someone isn’t attracted to trans people, everything is a preference. They were talking about how trans people are still being physically abused and murdered for simply being themselves. For example Brianna Ghey. Especially if it’s a blind date, you don’t always know peoples views and morals which means they could be put in danger for coming out.

[@Adam-do8ny]

i dont think shaming anyone for anything is violence tbh

[@areliz_ramos]

WORD

[@susiprop6791]

Men are so fuckin fragile its not even funny anymore

[@Ash-gm3ws]

Amen

[@kingloads]

If y'all haven't done another one of these with more general and overall life questions, you definitely should.

[@Andrea_del_nonloso]

that all was so chill and everybody was mature enough to listen whit calm and change or not opinion, i want more kind of shows like this than ppl yelling and saying no im right and no you're wrong, that video realy made me hope more in humans, best content of the last years

[@EvanNeedsTherapy]

damn this shit was respectful as fuck, I really appreciate that. Had seen it a recommended a lot but I avoided it because I was worried a "jubilee style" video would just blow up and get heated, but it was very refreshing to see

[@beardedpanda5086]

It’s a bit unfair to say it’s transphobic if someone feels deceived by going on a date with a trans person. It’s absolutely fair for them to feel that way. Some people won’t care at all, which is amazing! If you’re meeting on apps like most people do, you talk to the person before going on a date. They do at least deserve the curtesy to know so they can say yes they want to meet or no. That comfort is a two way street. Some may not be comfortable dating a trans person, which is okay.

[@lovemileyxox]

but you have to think about WHY they're uncomfortable with it. if you're on a date with a trans person in the first place, that means you were already attracted to them as the gender they identify with. if them sharing a piece of personal information that is dangerous to share to specific people is something that makes you uncomfortable with being with them, there's definitely some sort of transphobia in there, which is bound to be the case and that's okay because not everyone is perfect. people just have to unlearn it. singling someone out solely because their trans is definitely a form of transphobia, however, if it's because of genitalia, that's completely understandable because it's normal to have a genital preference.

[@beardedpanda5086]

@@lovemileyxox I get that. In this case, I feel you’re saying the feelings of the trans person is more important than the cis person. I get it can be dangerous particularly for trans women, but like I said in our age of dating you typically chat a bit before going on a first date. Sure it’s a case by case basis and the safety of the trans woman is the utmost important, but to say the straight man was attracted to a transwoman whose passing but then upset after having invested time and feeling lied to, is transphobic, I think is unfair. I personally love when I see straight guys accept trans women. But before anything physical happens even kissing I think the guy has the right to know who they are dating. I will also admit this could be deprogramming I need to work on myself. But for now it’s where I stand.

[@cjthompson420]

@@lovemileyxox Why do you need to question them? Sexuality isn’t a choice. It’s almost like y’all don’t understand consent in the manipulation community

[@Anahi1991]

More than “unfair” this is downright coercion. If the 2 MEN in this video said the same to a date it would be considered SA or harassment but these gals can get away with it 🤷‍♀️

[@spill4155]

@@lovemileyxox some people would decline to date with a trans person who they thought were cis for good casual reasons. for one, chances are high that they involve with the organ that the trans person doesn’t have like you said. two, it’s a background that not everyone will want to take on. same thing if we were to consider the amount of folks who don’t feel as if they can match with someone with a clinical depression history. it doesn’t mean you have problems with people who have the lifestyle associated with such, it just means it does not pique your romantic interest. lastly, some people are automatically non receptive to new experiences. transgenderism is relatively new in the scheme of our collective evolution. when it comes to people who are not so involved in lgbtq+ groups, meeting a trans person can be a unique experience- yet alone considering to bond with one romantically. some people will jump at concepts they’re not so familiar with to try new things- while others won’t. it’s a biology thing.

[@emiofnnc]

Transphobia is wild, because these people clearly state, IT IS OKAY to not sleep or be attracted to someone who is trans and yet these comments keep asking "Why is it not okay to say you don't wanna sleep with a trans person" ITS FUCKING OKAY, YOUR PREFERENCE, YOUR DECISION... I don't think this is controversial at all, and this "woke" propaganda bullshit is saying all this stuff about trans people, othering all of us, and dehumanizing us to really just make people see us as this deviant, weird, not normal group of creeps or some shit. We are regular ass humans, trying to just survive, and being called all these things hurts bruh

[@kornycarnie]

i feel like that was so respectful bro.. that went so well lol

[@gmb2006]

People talking about the ad, I thought they meant an actual youtube automated ad but this ad, absolutely fowl

[@mariahlanly9063]

I dont understand not disclosing. Wouldnt it save you time, potential drama, and feelings to disclose? Id think you could put it on a dating profile if youre trans to weed out all the men/women who wouldn't date you, and make it easier for those who would want to.

[@gaybatgosqueak]

There are people that hunt trans people. Ofc you wouldn't understand you're cis. But you don't have to, just respect that people have their boundaries and limits to what they personally feel like disclosing immediately.

[@AliciaTheTroonSlayer]

@@gaybatgosqueakNo there aren’t. If yall were so worried about that, you wouldn’t be coercing people into dates they don’t want. The lies never end with yall.

[@gaybatgosqueak]

@@AliciaTheTroonSlayer Google it coward. There are unfortunately, numerous cases of people meeting up with trans ppl and then murdering them. You don't know what coercing is which is a red flag and I hope nobody ever engages with you intimately for their safety.

[@VixenArt3]

​​@@AliciaTheTroonSlayerWhat? It's not a lie, and those people are called chasers who fetishize trans bodies. But I do agree with disclosing being trans to others before it even gets to the first date, that's how I do it personally. PS can you explain the coercion? Who is persuading people to date them via force or threats lol

[@AliciaTheTroonSlayer]

@@VixenArt3 Sure, because you respectfully asked. My sister (who luckily is now married) has been gaslit for years and shamed for being into women. My cousin who is gay is literally shamed by other gay men (like Brian who made this ridiculous video before going home to his MALE partner) for not being open to…. Cewchi? That’s wild. Gay people fought for decades for equality just to be told by Gen Z kids they have a “preference” 🤦🏿‍♀️ I’m glad you don’t do that but too many do. Why not call out those in your community instead of shaming gay men and straight women for not playing pretend?

[@mindtristdweeb6926]

Happy to see this type of recognition. Love that everyone was able to talk respectfully and actually listen to one another with open mind. This was a Coool video, thanks 🙌🏻

[@tuhcyj]

love to see a civilised conversation between people open to others' perspectives

[@creep_skull]

I think, this was the most wholesome yet real talk about this topic yet (at least from what I've seen on YT these days). Absolutely love Marcus and David was so brave about his history. Jayden and Mich were so real and understanding and the way all of them some sort of connected and had a real talk about this was just nice to witness. Thanks for this video - even if it's already a year old.

[@thewingedcheetahwolf2615]

I would date a trans man as a straight cis girl because sex is something i simply could go without tbh when it comes to a romantic relationship

[@Noah_is_kool]

I think the under 18 transitioning question should've been more specific- Socially or Medically? I don't think a full medical transition should be allowed, but I think puberty blockers are a good idea because it only delays puberty until they can decide if they want to get HRT or not.

[@An_aria]

Yeah im on this too tbh, people grow drastically before 18 yrs old and even the your brain doesnt fully develop until your 25, making such big steps that can be costly and permanent might not be the best before 18 in my opinion

[@stacydani]

hell yeah thanks for actually differentiating the two. a lot of people thing transitioning is switching genitals and that's it

[@jenniferkelly8020]

Why isn’t it ok to say you wouldn’t want to sleep with a trans person just for that reason period??

[@spider.breakfast]

they like, clearly say that it is okay, one guy says he wouldn't sleep with a pre-op trans woman, and the other guy says he probably wouldn't like to regardless of surgeries, the host even says he used to be "no way" and now he's "maybe"

[@peppapickmeisha]

@@spider.breakfastNo. homegirl literally said we aren’t entitled to know she’s a woman lmfao.

[@38dd]

Because that’s tRaNsPhObIc and it hurts their feelings, they got all that surgery so we need to validate it at all times 😂

[@kuntwaii7322]

@@peppapickmeishathe world would be better off with you un-aliving yourself

[@kuntwaii7322]

@@38ddsee my comment above ^

[@Silberfisch62_Xbox]

20:37 thanks for your honesty, no question it's valid

[@Egg_Sandwich1]

i’m sorry it seems there has been a mistake. that is not a transgender man, that’s kurtis conner.

[@Egg_Sandwich1]

unless…

[@thinkhaven7902]

Safety remains a risk even if you postpone disclosure of being trans. Arguably delayed disclosure could increase the risk to safety because the deception has been going on for longer. While I understood some of the reasons stated in the video for delaying disclosure, safety seems to be a really weak one.

[@austinkiker944]

You are saying it's deception when they haven't told you one way or the other. It's not a lie to say nothing. In reality, you're the one making the assumption about their gender in the first place and then blaming them and calling them liars when it turns out you were wrong?

[@MiguelitoD770]

@@austinkiker944Nobody has to assume that the man/woman they consented to manipulated them into something they don’t want because you feel entitled. You’re screaming you’re at risk for your lives but coerce people? Nah.

[@twinkletoes6290]

@@austinkiker944lying by omission is still deceptive. Full consent should be obtained from both parties.

[@susiprop6791]

​@@twinkletoes6290people like you don't understand the dangers of coming out as trans. Telling before a first date? Im cis, but i wouldn’t do it, there are enough psychopaths that might lure the trans person into a date to beat them up or even kill them. If you're a decent Person you just say that it is a dealbreaker when you are told. The same way you say its a deal breaker when you see someone pull out a cigarette. Nobody ows transphobic assholes their medical history

[@NickyM_0]

@@austinkiker944 Lying by omission. You know for most people it's important to them who they date and some people may never want to date a trans person. The fact that you know this and hide it, is a deception.

[@CrypticSpoon1]

Respect for getting nice reasonable people for this video

[@iamtheasphalt]

This is one of the most helpful things ever to watch if someone wants to understand trans people. The trans men are extremely varied. Most important takeaway: if you don’t know an actual trans man, and you’ve never had a chat, then don’t judge. Thank you!

[@Am3lia77]

All 5 of these men are really respectful and I loved it ❤ they are all kings

[@An_aria]

This is a great set of respectful well spoken young men!

[@MercedesAllure]

I’m so sorry that happened to you David , I completely understand ❤

[@thatpantransguy]

I respect David and Marcus for their honesty. I think they are saying how they feel about their preference in partners and that's nothing to be ashamed of. If they aren't attracted to a trans person, because they might have similar genitalia to them then they have that right. In situations with trans people going out with a cis person, I think we owe it to ourselves to be honest with someone before we date them. It's like a screen test to see if they are a safe and open person to date. This is just my own honest opinion on the matter, of course, and I would never try to make another trans person tell someone before they are comfortable.

[@kingkaizer6281]

Ngl, Marcus not only seems like he'd be a really cool and great friend but also like great boyfriend material. We need more men like those four guys in general!

[@zs_2390]

I feel like for conversations like this, there should be more people with opposing and clashing views/ perspectives on the matter. It makes for a more interesting conversation. It shouldn't appear like everyone is trying to please the next person or avoid discourse due to fear of coming across a certain way, because for one, it's not realistic. If you were to walk down the street and come across the first two straight and trans men you saw, this conversation likely wouldn't go like this.

[@mattfulciniti]

Agreed

[@sabrinagranger5468]

I disagree, I feel like if the conversation is all "but they're real men!" "but they're not!" "are too!" "are not!" that's way less interesting than a conversation like this where you don't have any extreme deviations from the typical person and people can actually discuss things with nuance and disagreement but aren't just being oppositional to create a clash. Also, I disagree with that second point as well. I deal with a lot of different people (just, like, the public at large) for my job and my impression is that most people are just normal about things like this, and more extreme views are relatively rare.

[@timbit827]

Not every video has to have extreme viewpoints to be interesting. It's ok to just talk about nuance around different issues

[@zs_2390]

You're right, I just like to listen to people debate. I like to see how people respond to different counter arguments. @@timbit827

[@etfsfchrhvff4793]

a video like this was such a breath of fresh air for me- ppl acting normal and being respectful. im sick of videos like jubilee's for example that end up being nothing but unproductive arguing very opposing opinions for the sake of clicks, this video is a lot closer to the average person than the ppl who come to "debate" on videos purposely made for views gathered by controversy

[@itz_rinriko28992]

I am trans and i thank fuck this exists, pure entertainment and relatable

[@The_R3AL_Akutagawa]

Bsd fan

[@echoesdetoi537]

Loved David at 20:44 Great thing to talk freely and not juge

[@jettpack12]

im a gay trans guy, and just to answer the title right off the bat HELLLL NAWWWWWWWWWW I CHOOSE THE BEAR i cant even be gay in peace bro like the things ive seen cis men do is crazy like not all men but always men ykykykyk

[@Kinosec-10]

@@jettpack12 😂

[@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan]

not always men.

[@Kinosec-10]

@@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFan but 95% of rapists, murders, child molesters and arsonists are male. So we should not say, “why are people so crazy?”, but, “ why are men so crazy?”

[@danepain]

@@jettpack12 You're just a misandrist. Also, I doubt you'd choose the bear if you were in an actual situation like that.

[@Tartaglitwo]

@@GayLesbianAutisticSmithsFanbut enough men 🤷‍♂️ I’m also a trans guys and I very much agree with OP, I seen and been through enough shit to at some point I forced myself to like women because I just COULD NOT with men anymore, and I’m 14 saying this.

[@cameraman3316]

Let me add a few things as a trans person. Trans people would be open to telling their date about being trans if it didn’t put themselves in danger. The majority of us do not go crazy about pronouns since it’s a waste of time to argue. I am pre op, planning my op at some point, but I don’t support minors getting surgeries. Yes, I was 14 before and wanted to have surgery, it is still something to wait to get. 16-17 is the minimum age someone can be operated on with multiple consent forms. Therapist, doctors, plastic surgeon, parents. Children just starting puberty do not have the growth aspects to preform surgeries on. Specifically the chest. A trans boy at 12 will not have the skin to remove all the breast tissue. Bottom surgery alone should always wait until the person is old enough to make their own financial choices. I personally wouldn’t be doing bottom surgery because the recovery time scares me. I also don’t plan on dating so I don’t have to worry about what to say on a date. I wish one of the trans men went with agreeing to wait on surgery because it paints us all in the idea we advocate minors going through operations. If the question was about gender affirming care specifically, then that was fine. Gender affirming care is not surgery specific, it can be as simple as a haircut. I always will support gender affirming care for all ages, just nothing medically altering.

[@EnderEntertain]

I loved that one dude for being open and honest, especially for coming out with his experience/story like that. Takes a lot of guts and balls for anyone to do. Hope he’s better from his past traumas and he’s living out a happy life. ❤

[@elias_is_trying]

they all seem so respectful! i love it!

[@ProlificUniversity]

1:21 You’re bold enough to make the decision for the health of yourself. Not bold enough to make the decision for your personal business to be shared in the world. There’s a difference

[@Armaan_felix]

Also transitioning is life saving a lot of time.

[@luigianddaisyfan1328]

⁠@@Armaan_felixSo, you’re admitting people have died from transitioning?!

[@Armaan_felix]

@@luigianddaisyfan1328 did you let your brain ferment

[@000_dantes_Z00B]

@@luigianddaisyfan1328 no people die from not transitioning :^ well not drop dead from the fact they cant transition but it can mess with them and then lead to self harm which can lead to even more worse stuff

[@Armaan_felix]

@@000_dantes_Z00B no what actually hurt us is transphobia and transitioning actually improve our mental health a lot.

[@tombenshalommoshe]

I like how everyone is so chill even when they disagree

[@An_aria]

Theyre just chill guys

[@stacydani]

@@An_ariareal

[@czulybarbarzynca_]

The title is misleading. I thought it would me more about different experiences and world view, not only trans issues. It should be more like "Do cis people and trans people have the same views about trans people?" (they usually don't, shocker)

[@adw802]

A date IS romantic - there are people that would not go on that first date knowing the person is trans. Why is one person's boundaries and consent less important than the trans person's? 98% of the world are not interested in dating trans people - trans people know this so they are just disingenuous when they argue that it's not a big deal to not disclose.

[@kuntwaii7322]

“98% of the world are not interested in dating trans people” that statistic sounds as real as your warped understanding of consent and gender

[@Anahi1991]

@@kuntwaii7322 “you don’t know genderrrrrr reeeeee” lmfao. We don’t question ours. We’re normal. Next 🥱

[@kuntwaii7322]

@@Anahi1991 only 4chan losers say shit like “reeee” you’re losing the ideological war and pressed about it so KZbin comments are your last stand 😂

[@MiguelitoD770]

@@kieranwentworth861 He’s trying to date y’all much less make arguments with “stats” that consent is a thing. 😒

[@scooter-wy3qs]

@@kuntwaii7322 Google "transgender exclusion from the world of dating". It's a study/survey released in 2019 by professors Karen L. Blair and R.Hoskin. Out of the 958 people who participated in the survey 87.5% indicated that they WOULD NOT consider dating a transgender person. Broken down by sexual orientation and gender heterosexual men were the most likely to exclude trans people from their dating pool at 98.2% followed by heterosexual women at 96.7%. Even those who identify as bisexual/queer/non-binary excluded trans people at 48.3%

[@missizz1595]

This has definitely been the most honest and still respectful video of opinions Ive seen about transpeople, I respect the hell out of these guys.

[@FiIIerguy]

You don't disclose on the first date out of fear and transphobia.....so when do you tell this hypothetical transphobic and violent guy the truth. 3 dates in? 10? How long does it take him to not be transphobic?

[@JulianGapes]

I want to know EVEN BEFORE the first kiss…or even BEFORE holding hands. PLEASE 🙏

[@henkdevos590]

If the other person is transphobic you'll probably know after a few dates and can stop dating them before disclosing anything.

[@jkstudios6726]

@@henkdevos590how? Plenty of people will say I support them, but a lot will not date them and will be mad.

[@henkdevos590]

@@jkstudios6726 Exactly

[@alldud13]

it should ideally be on the first date

[@GluhenderHund]

3:28 I would tell them before the first date purely so it doesn't cause problem later- if not for the other for yourself.

[@jjamesgames6573]

I transitioned when I was 11 and I’m almost 16. Nothing has changed. I feel better and confident. I want hrt and all of that and I will probably be getting that in the next year. There’s a whole doctor evaluation process and all of that so the doctor knows a lot of the stuff. We aren’t bad people as a group. The people put on blast are the select few bad people but it gets elevated on the news since people connect the fact that they’re trans to being a bad person. I get the point of view of people not understanding but I do think people should abide by people’s preferred pronouns and name. Even if they might detransition later on I think it’s important to respect people so they can figure themselves out.

[@Tublking]

As a Gender Fluid person that rapidly has mixed feelings on gender and goes by all pronouns its hard to date straight people (mostly men)- Strictly because their very against one half of my identity and get turned off so easily by any ounce of masculine energy I display. So I normally stick to Bi partners.. which are seemingly rare to come by unless your in online communities (I dont online date..)

[@molleybrackney9585]

I think you should disclose the fact that you’re trans on the first date whether you plan to be intimate or not because not everyone is open to dating a trans person and you’re just wasting their time at that point because there ultimately not going to want to be with you because of that fact .

[@StayWoke1900.]

Exactly, it’s not about the trans one being comfortable, what if it makes the cis person feel uncomfortable to even be on a date with a trans person. Idk if that was me and yu didn’t tell me on the first date and you continued to waste my time I’d be pissed, thats when I feel like ppl would want to hurt or injure you. And ppl are allowed to be transphobic. Can’t force someone to live their life a certain way.

[@Katie-ud4sq]

@@StayWoke1900.what makes the cis persons feelings more important than the trans person? The fact is that trans people have violence committed amongst them for simply being trans. No one owes you an explanation of their body.

[@molleybrackney9585]

@@Katie-ud4sq nobody said anybody’s feelings are more important but when you don’t tell someone that you are trans you are taking away the choice for them as to whether or not they want to go on a date with a trans person . For some people that is a hard stop no and by being deceitful you just had them do something possibly against their morals . Not only that like I originally said you are wasting people’s time at that point .

[@art4hawkeye]

@@Katie-ud4sq because deceiving someone is wrong and you are the one hiding the fact you are a biological man. yes, you have to tell the other person so they can make an informed decision.

[@chefssaltybawlz]

@@Katie-ud4sq Weird how y’all always want affirmation and respect for your “identity” yet not only don’t have it for the 99% of people who don’t have your condition, you feel entitled to not needing a persons CONSENT. Imagine playing victim after you were the one being deceitful.

[@Ramen5000Manga]

1:36 he just cut him off lmfao

[@anthonyjames696]

1:28 Excuse me, but can someone please explain what the guy meant when he said ""if you were bold enough and courageous enough to make the decision, then you should have no issue disclosing that information"?? Because I really hope it's not what I think he means...

[@AmaranthStudioArt]

I wish this video could have accurately distinguished the difference between sex and gender; understanding that they are two separate concepts

[@Ramen5000Manga]

I'm not transphobic, but on the topic of whether it should be illegal for children to transition, I agree to an extent. During adolescence, children go through significant chemical, mental, and physical changes, and I think it’s important for them to be happy with who they are and not feel pressured to become something they can never actually be (after all, it’s about identity). Some might argue that my perspective is rude or even transphobic (and by definition, transphobia is the fear or hate of trans individuals), but that’s not my intention. I’m expressing this for the general well-being of youth and their understanding of themselves and who they want to be. If someone knows they’re trans, that’s great! But I don’t want young people to feel pressured by social norms, parental expectations, or the belief that they aren’t good enough and should switch their genders. You know what I mean?

[@AftonAddict]

As a young trans person, I agree! Transition surgeries *are* getting better, but we don’t know yet if they change or affect a child’s growth since it’s all so new and ill-researched. Not to mention making such a permanent decision at a young age is a super big deal! Even now i question my identity as I continue growing and changing and adapting to the world around me. As for the suicidal rates, I believe those are more from lack of support from people around them rather than lack of surgeries. Be there for the kids and let them explore who they are. That doesn’t require permanent and not to mention dangerous decisions like surgeries. ❤️

[@Ramen5000Manga]

@@AftonAddict thanks for your comment i 100% agree

[@hunterishomophobic]

But no one’s out here pressuring kids to transition, I mean, who in their right mind would want to be a part of such a marginalized group that’s slowly losing its rights and becoming public enemy #1??? It’s the kids own choice to know if they’re trans or not, no one else’s. That’s why I personally think that minors (aged 12-17) should be allowed to transition hormonally

[@Ramen5000Manga]

@@hunterishomophobic hormonal i can agree with what i can't is getting the surgery

[@WB0916]

​​@@Ramen5000MangaKids aren't medically transitioning, Don't worry. That's an alarmingly common misconception. Kids are Socially transitioning.

[@BlondeTiger]

Marcus is very respectable, and the video pleasantly surprised me. Very positive and productive discussions. ❤

[@vtop1c]

I don't do dating apps/online dating at all, so obviously unless the person wasn't very public about it, I wouldn't know before the date.... And I 100% agree with Marcus, you should disclose early, but it doesn't have to be the very first date.

[@ehmzed]

This was really hard to watch. The whole video was the two guys trying not to say anything that could upset the trans person and waiting for for his affirmation and lecture. He thinks he's in the position to teach them how sexual attraction works and who they should be attracted to. That is crazy, how is it different than telling gay men they have to like women? You can't change your sexual attraction on command.

[@zelwonnie]

it was uncomfortable to watch because you could tell who was in charge in this video and everyone just had to believe his opinions to be facts. otherwise, you'll be labeled as "transphobic." they call themselves "oppressed, " but people have to walk on eggshells around you and try everything in their power not to offend you even when talking about biological facts. it's ridiculous.

[@sia9907]

It's confusing. Do you mean the women aka transmen were trying to teach the men about attraction? Because I agree but the pronouns are destroying our ability to communicate clearly and I hate it.

[@MrMerel]

What were you watching? Everyone agreed that everyone has their own preference and that that’s ok.

[@addieo88]

@@sia9907 how are pronouns destroying our ability to communicate properly?? if someone identifies as a man, they obviously will go by he/him and people would refer to him that way. it’s really not difficult

[@sia9907]

@@addieo88 Read what I said again, this time for comprehension.

[@nicolibixo]

such sweet people, thank you for the discussion

[@Jayyx.yt1]

One of a few videos like this where everyone is genuinely so smart. Respect.

[@Tavona127]

This was a beautiful episode. I loved each person’s ability to show vulnerability ❤️.

[@paleogrrl69]

This was such real, honest, nuanced and frank discussion. Thanks to you all for participating and sharing. I wish more people could just get together, talk through stuff and learn like this. 💚