Why Hookups (Almost) Always SUCK

They begin with bright promise...but more often than not, hookups end up feeling disappointing. Here's why and what we can do about it!
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#hookupculture #sexandsexuality #mindfulsex

[@DrewKelleyTidwell]

Omg - your humor is amazing - “except my husband , I have spent YEARS TRAINING HIM” I loved this comment - Your videos are my new addiction- I have to watch them each morning for my daily calmness !

[@EcstaticSelf]

Haha. Awe. Thanks, Drew!!! I’m so glad that they’ve been resonating with you!!!

[@anthonydidato5855]

I think it takes a great amount of courage to admit among a group of gay men that I want more than just a random or plain old sexual experience with a perfect stranger. Post pandemic, I'm more committed to admiting I yearn for more and I'm on the path to finding it. Thank you! ❤

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thank you, Anthony, for sharing your experience. I am glad to hear that you’re owing your truth more openly and confidently. ❤️

[@jethrolagon8511]

I felt like this the other day when I went to a bathhouse after lockdown. Going down those dark halls just made me think about other things in my life... there's been less excitement with hooking up now compared to when I was younger, losing count on how many guys I've hooked up with. I guess I'm really just waiting for a partner!

[@EcstaticSelf]

It's good to have that level of self-reflection :)

[@Durufle68]

Yes, you want that connection.

[@SahadatHossain-cw2lp]

​@@EcstaticSelf0:19❤😂

[@walterweizenauer3918]

My observation on "gay culture" is that individuals seek to maximize gratification with as little intimacy as possible. I sum up the basic message of your video here is that sex without intimacy is not fulfilling.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Lol, yes...how much validation can we get with as little vulnerability as possible, might be another way to say that.

[@fredrikliljeblad1209]

I've always felt EXACTLY the same way as you have just described in this video. I never expected to find this on KZbin! I'm thrilled with your videos. and the soulfulness of your dialogue. I'm Swedish and my husband is Japanese, and I have resigned myself through the many decades we have been together to not getting the 'motherly' kind of attention, but I know he loves me and needs me, and I know we'll be together until we leave this earth.

[@EcstaticSelf]

I'm so glad it spoke to you. Much love, my friend!

[@dougpettey7144]

Thanks! I'm still processing where you're coming from, but am so intrigued by the amount of agreement we seem to share. Thank you for being so articulate and straightforward!

[@EcstaticSelf]

My sincere pleasure, brother!

[@johniii8147]

He definitely does a great job. You can see why his husband loves him so much. Well probably most days LOL

[@charlestripodi5043]

You are so correct . I never get satisfied by hookups . I know the difference between makeing love with somebody that I have true soul connection with . And a hookup . I literally force myself to have hookups simply because I feel that I am left with no option because the rest of the gay world is like that and I am alone looking for more …. I need to work with you one on one ….. I am 56 years old and always thought I was the only person that felt this way

[@EcstaticSelf]

I'm glad it spoke to you, Charles.

[@charlestripodi5043]

@@EcstaticSelf yes but what am I supposed to do about it ? Spent the day at fire island today . Only people that spoke to me where the store clerk and the bartender. Oh there was this cute guy that kept cruising me while he was kissing his lover who was looking the other way .I still have my good looks .however I actually want somebody to want me for me .and that gets impossible to find in New York if you actually work

[@charlestripodi5043]

BTW … Ridiculous that the only person interested in me was cruising me while his spouse wasn’t looking .It makes me dislike being gay so much

[@johniii8147]

@@charlestripodi5043 Switch up you approach in how you meet people. Fire Island, what else would you expect? Most people i know, self included end up meeting a partner in everyday life not in a hook up central environment.

[@EcstaticSelf]

@@charlestripodi5043 It's hard... I hear ya.

[@alejandromorales9516]

I think when I was younger and I was less experienced and more hormonal, I enjoyed hookups and casual sex. In my 40s I feel like I've been there/done that. I don't need to be in a relationship with someone to have a sexual encounter, but I try to evaluate if the partner/situation will allow me to be present and authentic. I have to say that cuts down on a lot of possibilities, but the flip side is I have much better sex when I do connect with. I also think everyone is different and I have heard great arguments from people about how being objectified or not having any emotional connection opens them up. I'm not wired that way and have sometimes felt less masculine because I wanted a little more connection. But ultimately I'm just trying to have a good time with like minded people and I can't do that if I don't own what I want.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Well said!

[@workitout80]

we think SO much alike. Not all 40 y.o. think like us though. It's not something that happens at 40. What might happen at 40 is that you become more aware and respectful of who you are and what you want. Some realize they love/need to fuck around, others realize they're not happy that way.

[@johniii8147]

Hook ups definitely just get old after awhile. Did it a lot in my late teens to about 25.

[@EcstaticSelf]

@@workitout80 Well, I just turned 34 this month...so I guess I am just a few years ahead of the curve.

[@workitout80]

@@EcstaticSelf you also have a husband and that helps a lot 😄

[@DarkKrush]

I like how genuine you seem and I really like your sense of humor.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Awe. Thank you so much! 🌈🙏🏼❤️

[@kevinorth1795]

No judgement, no shame. I agree with this message. Connection and feeling something way deeper than the physical makes it magical.

[@EcstaticSelf]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@SleepStoriesASMR]

I love the way that joy just bounces out of you when you talk about your husband ☺️💓 And, yes! That space of true connection and loving oneness between people is the best. I feel like there should be a special word for that kind of sex, no word I can think of quite describes it.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Amen! I think some people use the term “Sacred Sexuality” ... but that doesn’t quite encompass it for me. Thank you for your kind words... he IS amazing!!

[@johniii8147]

Exactly. Sex is SO much better with someone you genuinely love and trust. I certainly did more than my fair share up hook ups in my 20s. I can count how many but do i even remember their names, 95% no. But no regrets. It's kind of of those things you just have experience until you're just over it.

[@SleepStoriesASMR]

@@johniii8147 yes, isn’t it wonderful that it’s an experience we can enter into more deeply as we grow? I remember when I was young and a married woman in her 50s told me she had better sex than when she was young. I was skeptical then, but now I get it:)

[@johniii8147]

@@SleepStoriesASMR Yep definitely. I credit my husband with that learning. It was both thrilling and frustration at the time making me wait a month before we had full on sex. By that point we were both in love with each other so it was pretty mind blowing. He wisely knew we had to build a relationship first before we went there.

[@SleepStoriesASMR]

@@johniii8147 I love hearing that☺️💕

[@Zenoforce]

I really appreciate this video as it hits close to home with where I am at in life, At one point I was all about random hookups but that excitement has run down and I've done everything I am comfortable with all the hype has worn off and I've got my developed taste for sex and partner in bed, I've had a few hookups were I learned the persons name and got into their personal life a handful of times and Genuinely enjoy those occasions than the rest but now I've placed an emphasis on bonding before hitting the bedroom and the sex has been worth the time, energy, and Gas! thanks Kae!

[@EcstaticSelf]

Amen, my friend! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!!

[@johniii8147]

Most of guys go through that. It's a phase that normally passes. And you can always do it on the sofa to mix things up.

[@john7027]

We have been together for 24 years and to this day when he touches me I get butterflies and tingle from his touch. Sex is great but sometimes that certain touch, cuddling, spooning can be just as good as sex and sometimes leads to sex. I am so lucky to have this person in my life that truly gives me everything. I just started following you and really like your content. Till next time…….

[@jarrydnurden]

Yaaaaaas! Speaking to my soul! Namaste!

[@EcstaticSelf]

So glad you enjoyed, Jarryd!! ✨✨✨🌈

[@twain1770]

I agree with a lot of what you’re saying but the thing I really took away from my experiences deals with vulnerability . Both parties become vulnerable to each other but like it or not each is fucking with someone’s emotions, feelings and thier life path , focus and intentions on that path .. either intentionally or blindly without thought of that aspect . no one can make you feel complete , whole and perfect , that is something you do yourself , we came here in that state of being . The only thing you can do is love another , see thier nature , accept that and at least compliment each other reciprocally.. that is the basis of “ love” anything else is an illusion .. my thoughts anyway

[@EcstaticSelf]

Let’s just treat each other with kindness, respect, dignity, and...hopefully...a little cosmic love. 🌌❤️

[@twain1770]

The gay and straight world exist with a mix of givers and takers sometimes more of one than the other , if you are really lucky you find and connect to a “ like minded partner” if not you learn from the experience, detach from it and move along for everyone’s highest good and best interest

[@MrKevman68]

I am totally on board with this approach. Thank you.

[@EcstaticSelf]

You’re very welcome!

[@petercourtien4581]

Well, aren’t you a breath of fresh air in this sometimes ridiculously superficial world we’ve created. New sub here! 😊

[@EcstaticSelf]

Awe. Thank you so much, Peter. Just trying to highlight the things that really matter 💪🏼

[@lucycarlos4923]

Your house is beautifull!!! Yeah, shallow encounters, are like frozen meals, not the same.

[@lachinx]

You are speaking my language!! I identify so much with your philosophies and attitudes toward sexuality and embodiment. Love this channel and you too 😘

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thanks, buddy!

[@nourarabie6084]

انا فتاة مسلمة ومامن شيء يمنعني من متابعة مغامرتك الفذة والجرأة الكبيرة في تقديم حقائق النفس البشرية تعجبني طريقة طرحك للمواضيع واصل ففكرتك النبيلة تصل العقول بسرعة.رغم أنني لم أكتب باللغة الانجليزية لكن أسعد بأن تترجم كلماتي وتفهما .أحب كثيرا مواضيعك فهي تلهمني بالبشرية النبيلة❤❤❤❤

[@EcstaticSelf]

🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@hepadex]

So glad I found you. Really good topics.

[@waltcraig8098]

You create the most amazing videos. I cannot help but think about my own feelings and sense of myself when I watch your presentations. You make incredibly complex and confusing emotional feelings manageable.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Awe. Thank you, Walt. That’s incredibly kind of you to say.

[@AquaGemExplorer]

Physical touch by my own hands is truly great 😃

[@johniii8147]

Training your husband LMAO. I totally get it. We have both done that with each other. It evolves over time too. My husband has become a bit more kinky due to trust. He always seems to have something new these days.

[@EcstaticSelf]

[@Mrberkeley99]

I agree with your points. I’m not religious, but I wanted to save myself until marriage. Of course, that didn’t become legal until 2015 when I was in my mid-30s. So, years earlier during my late 20s, I became sexually active because I thought my mindset was too rose-colored for my age. Immediately afterwards, I thought “Don’t believe the hype”. Perhaps I wasn’t as naïve as I thought, as I’ve had very few encounters since then because I just can’t do it. What I quickly learned is that you must bury your vulnerability and empathy to fully embrace the hook up lifestyle. I’m at the point in my life that I’ve abandoned the idea of being in a long-term relationship and being a sexually active person altogether. Granted, there are moments of loneliness, but I think asexuality and abstinence has spared me from what could have been something that would affect my mental, physical, and emotional health. I’m content with the accomplishments that I’ve made in other areas of my life. The life that I’m describing might sound crazy to other people, but I can say wholeheartedly that I’m free.

[@EcstaticSelf]

All we can ever do is live in way that feels integral to our truth. If someone else can’t understand that... that’s on them. We make the best choices we can and go from there. Much love to you.

[@petertran8968]

Most gay men are not at a place where they can give soul and soul connection like that, specially at the bath houses, adults theater or on hook up websites, that’s why if you run into one, they are a keeper.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Find the ones who speak to your soul and pull them close...

[@pgscontinuingjourney]

As a gay man, I cannot stand hookups. Especially when they show up unexpectedly. That happened to me almost 5 years ago and I have mixed feelings about it. But never again!

[@PaladinesAngel]

This is very enlightening. I do find myself saying yes to guys because I feel I should or that I don’t want to let them down or upset them. And I totally get the whole “better myself with my hand..” thing. Much to think about. Cheers

[@EcstaticSelf]

So glad it spoke to you. Thank you!!

[@PaladinesAngel]

@@EcstaticSelf I am too. Thank you kindly :)

[@robertmcalpine738]

I have had a number of fabulous hookups and was always bothered that my partner, whoever that was, was not interested in persuing a relationship with me. I could relate to your comments about the sex that was out of this world and how I wanted it again and again from that person. I never could understand: a connection like that doesn't come along every day, and yet my partner was disinterested in taking it further. What started as a hookup could have been so much more.

[@mnh1956]

I have a pattern of going with alohalics with drug abuse problems. Starts out fun, but quickly turns into a crazy dysfunctional relation. I have never had a deep loving, positive constructive relation.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Hopefully you are able to find the nourishing relationships you seek. 🙏🏼

[@stevekirschman354]

Fascinating editing style 🥸

[@EcstaticSelf]

😀

[@alexanderpons9246]

Oh wow, your video really surprised me in a fantastic way! You bring a very valid point, sure it many not be for eveerybody but is something as humanity it needs to be at least thought of. I'll take it even further, in order to reproduce our species better the connection you talked about should be essential and maybe we will get closer to a nicer world. Much health to you and your partner and thanks for addressing a topic like this one!

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thank you, my friend!! I am soooo glad it spoke to you!!!

[@damienwilson5649]

Thank you beautiful man for sharing all of my thoughts and conversations with friends that Ive had over the last seven years in regard to gay hook up culture. I just found you, I look forward to connecting in with more of your views and experiences. XXX

[@EcstaticSelf]

My sincere pleasure, Damien. Blessings to you!

[@tarabris243]

I am nearly 61 and I am ready to go there now... I know what I really need at last....I had experienced it before unexpectedly but now I am expecting it. .May it come again...thank you for a great video. ❤

[@dannysimion]

Hahahahahaha! This is way too funny! You should do voice overs! We all been there. Hook ups are a random lottery ticket. The odds are usually against us.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thanks buddy!

[@xlkarma8446]

I downloaded Grindr for the first time in my 40’s. Wow, what a shit show. I realized I became a completely different person in a short time and was putting myself in danger of Stds despite being on PrEP. I deleted it a month later and so much happier and less anxious. Yes, I met some hot guys but the sexual chemistry was lacking and wasn’t worth the risk, exposure, and waste of time.

[@EcstaticSelf]

They show that Grindr is the worst social media app for mental health

[@Luniel11]

Prep only protects against HIV so it's very likely you can contract STDs if your sexual partners have it.

[@Luiseut59]

But what would be the alternative to that? As part of a minority we kinda have to use apps. I don't wanna be punched in the face for hitting on another guy in the streets.

[@michaelkrupar9808]

This is very good, but it made me sad. At one point, I thought I had this with my then partner. But, as with many things, life changes, time changes, people change, and here I am, at 65 struggling with the reality that this, more than likely, will never happen again.

[@EcstaticSelf]

It’s never too late. Stay open to possibilities. I know people who met the love of their life after age 79

[@stevekirschman354]

Like the training line 😎

[@EcstaticSelf]

🌈

[@universalsoulhealer]

I know all of this, but it’s helpful to hear it stated. 🙏🏼💫💛

[@EcstaticSelf]

So glad!

[@Mark-zu6oz]

I just subscribed. You have such a kind and sincere way of discussing things. A beautiful man inside as well as on the outside.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Awe, well, thank you, Mark. That is most sincerely appreciated!

[@bobbymanila1375]

totally and absolutely agreed and inspired with how you define what i define as a soul love making

[@EcstaticSelf]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️ glad to get to share that with you.

[@stevekirschman354]

You really should follow up with your good friend Steve 🌹

[@EcstaticSelf]

He should call me ;)

[@HerbanMagi]

I think sometimes even if a person isn’t looking for connection…they may even just be looking for passion. The best hookup I’ve had I didn’t know much about at all…but the act just didn’t feel like hooking up. It felt like he was making love to me. I didn’t know him…but maybe our energies just meshed or something I don’t know. It may have also been the make out session before…because truthfully a lot of guys are uncomfortable making out if they are hooking up, this guy wasn’t. As far as my type goes he wasn’t really my type…but the the sex and energy at the time was perfect.

[@EcstaticSelf]

I love that!

[@Ozen30776]

Hookups suck when u make love thats something of another level if u get to that. I never felt good i felt used and shallow inside. Make love guys that is the best thing ever

[@EcstaticSelf]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@danieledwards7565]

Terrific video!

[@EcstaticSelf]

Glad you enjoyed!

[@katherynthompson1951]

If the person inside that body is of no interest to you, why play with the toys? It is the person, the mind, the heart, the character, the soul that really builds the attraction. The body is just a vehicle.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Amen, Katheryn!

[@dadada3195]

I randomly got this video as a recommendation at 11:11 PM. Thanks for the message!

[@EcstaticSelf]

So glad it resonated.

[@myboibill]

In describing casual casual hook up you left out the feeling maybe feeling a bit cheap, as you make up some excuse as to why you can’t stay because you have an early call in the morning. Yes over the years and then many hook ups they have only been a handful that make you feel for filled and on several of those occasions and only several do you wind up seeing that person. I know I’m gonna do hook ups for us I’m getting old too LOL. I’ve told you before how much I am enjoying your channel.

[@EcstaticSelf]

I’m so glad you’re continuing to enjoy!!

[@MilanOfCreagan]

sex as eating or drinking is a need in some respect. so it's very exciting thinking about it and/or doing it. after need is fulfilled is likely we feel bad about it. especially if it wasn't one's favourite drink, food or sexual partner. What you describe is more often likely to happen to older guys who been there done it all and want something more. horny 20 year old person just wants to get it out of their system in most cases. Us over 40 we want in most cases quality over quantity. we know what we want,like and enjoy. its like having your favourite beer/whisky but from time to time you try a diffrent one for a change. thats what hookups are to me. it always sounds better in our heads but initial excitement is usually worth it lol

[@EcstaticSelf]

I sincerely appreciate you sharing your experience!

[@dillonbuick4763]

Definitely it is so much better when the human touch present - connection-even in hook ups!!

[@EcstaticSelf]

We all need touch

[@ServandoIV]

i’ve experienced a couple of times when the other guy was just not turned by me…first time it happened was devastating, i couldnt believe it, but over time you realize people just have different taste….little did i know, i’ve actually rejected others because i just wasnt turned on now i’m cellibate

[@EcstaticSelf]

❤️❤️❤️

[@johniii8147]

That's the nature of the game hooking up. Sometimes it goes well other times you'd rather be doing your laundry. It's all a journey.

[@6Churches]

That's why I delay hook ups with conversation (Grindr) and some degree of disclosure. Then I think I'm moderately capable of foreplay. The pleasure I get from sex is often framed by how many boundaries my partner puts up. But yeah it's still a gamble.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Totally!!

[@TheHyenaGod]

Another great video as always! If you're in the NJ/PA/MD/DE area and want to connect for some meditation / yoga let me know!

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thanks friends. Based 30 min east of dc in Maryland

[@TheHyenaGod]

@@EcstaticSelf About 2 hours from me, not bad. Maybe one day we can do a meet up! Until then, keep putting out the good work!

[@yetsinghwong212]

Interesting video dude

[@EcstaticSelf]

Glad you enjoyed

[@yetsinghwong212]

@@EcstaticSelf tks

[@SweetBoyEden]

So beautifully stated!

[@billhilton3265]

I like your videos, and the content. I am personally surprised that this is a question for people, notice i said my personel opinion before all of you pounce. How could someone think something you invest yourself in less would bring more? Only things we invest in give us more. Training yourself, knowingly or not to feel less in a situation that possibly will lead to intimacy is going to backfire eventually, unless you get comfortable there. Having a connection with someone that doesnt involve sex, and then adding in sex is and always will be the most potent encounters you will ever have with anyone, the end. If not, how come every single person whos ever been on this planet or on the planet now swears that that good friend that one day turned mysteriously a corner and you found yourself falling in love, and they always say its so powerful, cause it is. Like weightloss, theres only one way up the mountain and one way only......in weightloss its this.....less intake, more output......that is the only weighloss fact....and in love or satiating that hunger for connection and mindblowing sex is investment.. What your up against in both these topics is.....and dont miss this....time, patience, lifestyle and of course with sex it would have its own astericks , as in sex you have to have a willing partner who wants to invest, aahhh thats the tricky part my friend, whats on their mind and agenda. Love your videos!!❤🦋👑👍

[@BrunoPessolani]

Well, Kae, I think the same. Sex isnt everything in life. There is commitment, loyalty and friendship 😀

[@EcstaticSelf]

Amen

[@iloveny22]

This is where I am at in life...the one person I did have a connection with was taken :( but I'm willing to be patient

[@EcstaticSelf]

💚

[@Dwebber919]

Great Video

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@heretic9999]

That was truly funny and informative. LOVE YOU KEI Add a public comment... Add a public comment...

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thanks, Jeffrey! Glad you enjoyed.

[@gsogso3444]

Hello...you are so right....thank you so much...and you are eye candy and im on a diet look at you was enough✌😄😘

[@EcstaticSelf]

haha. You’re very sweet

[@THELASTMEDICALNINJA1995]

I hookup every once in a while cause I have urges like any other person but I hate hookups!! it makes you feel like **** no matter how much sex you can get from someone Their is no love their is no friendship half the time the people you hookup with won’t even acknowledge,remember or talk to you afterwards your just a hit it and quit it and to me that’s such a shitty feeling! because you can have a really good connection with someone but they’ll say no strings attached meaning no feelings just sex! How can someone separate their self from that it’s so hard I don’t get it and if you never felt that way get a FWB guy or girl that you really like. To make matters worse sometimes hookups are never consistent or your always kept as the secret and personally I don’t want multiple partners just one if I could or someone who’s not ashamed to hookup with you in the day instead of only messaging you at night Hopefully someone can relate to this For example I have a friend who’s ALWAYS boasting about how many women he bangs sorry I’m trying to keep this KZbin appropriate lol but he’s depressed and suicidal at times and I get that he said himself. “he hates it”!because their nothing their just meaningless sex when he has urges.

[@Scar-jg4bn]

Welcome to the "gay community". You either have casual hookups or you stay alone. The only guys who want to settle down are 50+ years old. 😂

[@THELASTMEDICALNINJA1995]

@@Scar-jg4bn so freaking true!

[@protegemoi9819]

Happened one time. Went back to the barracks after the bar but i chickened out. No protection. Snuggled and went home.

[@albertkundrat1734]

Honestly Put! To me the best HOOK UP is soley LOVING one's LIBIDO sexpressed upon Oneself with Another's LIBIDO!

[@a.j.stauft1779]

Ok then ...you've been reading my mind again lol. Closeness...actual real intimacy...sex would be great but special...I want to value myself..I'd like to believe I deserve ...more🤗👏💋🙏

[@EcstaticSelf]

Xoxo

[@johnsilsbee]

Never the back of a car or bathroom stall. Just NO!

[@eduardochavacano]

I can’t relate to any of this. I’m the Immaculate Contradiction

[@johniii8147]

Ok Madonna. LOL

[@holistichaands6034]

Nice info thank u fr sharing

[@EcstaticSelf]

Glad you enjoyed :)

[@holistichaands6034]

@@EcstaticSelf yes I always liked ur all videos it's very informative nd knowledgeable ble

[@tenslytydy9765]

Thanks for the great content. How can you make your partner vulnerable to experience this fulfilment love if they are asexual?

[@EcstaticSelf]

Well, if they are truly asexual...then that's an orientation. It's like asking how you can make a gay person straight. If they are just experiencing low libido or sexual disinterest...that's an entirely different thing.

[@JustineMayzes]

Me and you would've been best friends, I just know it.

[@georgerivera8834]

I know that feeling done it many times in the past

[@SilfredoSerrano]

Yeah, no.

[@vichomangiola]

Do you feel satisfied with hookups?

[@newworldlove7031]

I just can't deal with gay bed hopping culture as I suffer from extreme social anxiety and I can't even walk into a gay bar, night club and I dislike sex outside emotionally committed relationships. Who wants to take the risk of getting hiv and other stds. It's really nasty.

[@EcstaticSelf]

[@TheStarlitfuse]

Thanks. I don't feel alone anymore

[@EcstaticSelf]

I'm so glad 😀

[@TheStarlitfuse]

@@EcstaticSelf sometimes I feel sex is better in my head

[@hendriefalke5169]

The last one wont be like the next one, wash ware repeat..

[@EcstaticSelf]

😝

[@ozdocwho5177]

I always prefer some sort of connection. I love sex, but a cuddle means so much more to me.

[@Guydude79]

I always have fun with my hook ups

[@lucycarlos4923]

I have been watching Mateo Lane and he is so genuine,so himself,but ,I wonder what percentage of gay men,are looking for a spiritual connection,and what percentage ,are just very ....sex,and this defines us as gay men culture.?

[@craigriley8317]

Thank you. Namaste ❤

[@michaelnagle9231]

When I was much younger and frequently going to the baths in N.Y. (pre aids) after a while it got very boring. I could not remember 1 partner from another. I was not fulfilled. I did stop going for a long while. When I started again I limited my visits. It became much more fulfilling. I no longer needed to prove anything to my self. I really at this time started to like myself much more. I had grown up

[@EcstaticSelf]

Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like some beautiful self awareness and growth.

[@johniii8147]

Totally relate to that. That was my early 20s. It just gets old after awhile. Didn't really do bath houses much but definitely hook up glore at the time. It eventually i think for most of us just gets old and unfulling. Now when my husband makes us a great dinner or just a sweet act of kindness makes me horny as hell for him. Things definitely change with age and perspective.

[@EcstaticSelf]

@@johniii8147 :) :) :)

[@Mimses-b4e]

Sex for the sake of animalistic sex ie hooking up leaves us feeling empty. Sacred sex in the form of marriage or formal partner is sacred and fulfilling. Period

[@johniii8147]

They both have their advantages and disadvantages. It just depends on what you're looking for and where you are in life.

[@Mimses-b4e]

@@johniii8147 who wants to feel empty inside?

[@johniii8147]

@@Mimses-b4e Just really depends on who you are, stage of life etc. It's very variable by both person and stage where you're at with that. Most of out grow hook of hook culture, but some never do. Not everyone wants to be in a serious relationship. Also feeling empty inside is usually about yourself and not another person. You have to do the work on yourself. This "he completes me" is a myth.

[@Mimses-b4e]

@@johniii8147 yes totally. The truth is its different for men and woman. For woman hookups are depleting. Most woman dont know this is the reason why they feel depleted by casual sex but it's the deep truth. I council hundreds of women who are flinging around but feeling so low. When they wake up to it I would say 95% of woman have a huge awakening. Wanting to be in a spiritual union is all about the commitment and sincerity from a partner rather than the he needs to complete me culture

[@Mimses-b4e]

@@johniii8147 yes totally. The truth is its different for men and woman. For woman hookups are depleting. Most woman dont know this is the reason why they feel depleted by casual sex but it's the deep truth. I council hundreds of women who are flinging around but feeling so low. When they wake up to it I would say 95% of woman have a huge awakening. Wanting to be in a spiritual union is all about the commitment and sincerity from a partner rather than the he needs to complete me culture

[@duanewing3008]

I'm still hurting because a 30 year old guy only sees me as a sugar daddy 💔😭

[@stevekirschman354]

Good script writer 🤪

[@EcstaticSelf]

Haha. Thanks! Just spoken extempore

[@loveislove6118]

Good morning🌞🌞🌞

[@KA-su9ww]

My hand is my best friend.😉

[@EcstaticSelf]

😊

[@delcodave]

i personally love hookups. its exhilirating. I mean, there is no dating in the gay community anymore. so take whatever you can get and make the best of it.

[@EcstaticSelf]

Lol. Get what you enjoy!! But, to the contrary, I’ve had wonderful experiences dating in the gay community. Met many wonderful people

[@johniii8147]

Good enjoy it while you're in that phase of life. Be safe of course. But it's not true statement no dating in the gay community. Just all depends on what you want and who you seek out.

[@Scar-jg4bn]

​@@johniii8147the only dudes who actually want to date are 50+ years old and already spent the last 30 years hooking up with rando's. If you're in 20's-30's and attractive, just hookup. Gay culture has taught me that men are just hungry holes to be filled. 😂

[@arwanimouhammed5635]

Hallo... My love.. Im very heppy to meet you... Thenk you my love....

[@JulioLopez-qj6ug]

Hola👋

[@EcstaticSelf]

Hi 👋🏼

[@JulioLopez-qj6ug]

@@EcstaticSelf love 😘

[@JulioLopez-qj6ug]

@@EcstaticSelf hola papy 😘

[@boruttrost5750]

The music is very distracting.

[@rextrek]

y Sex sex I mean ALL the wayyyy..Deep...my hubby and I kiss mess around....but nothing intense ..its ok, sex is not a priority - so many other things occupy my daily life

[@stevekirschman354]

♥️

[@EcstaticSelf]

❤️

[@osmani.h.osman.5413]

Looks likes good luck

[@jagdishmehta3916]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@loveislove6118]

Hi

[@stevekirschman354]

🤩

[@rahuldutta4927]

I love 💕 you

[@SanjayKumar-iy9eo]

Nice men👌💕

[@amsbandara4360]

Woww full body look ing good haf no good

[@oofoof6070]

I think this is why I’m gonna stick to having sexual experiences with simeone im already in a relationship. Like either with a boyfriend or a girlfriend who we’ve been with for a while and not a hookup. I want to have a connection, i want to love and be loved, i want a connection and I want to be with someone who I can appreciate and be appreciated as a human being.

[@EcstaticSelf]

🙏🏼❤️

[@jeffreyhaddockrivera3650]

¿Tu eres gay? Te gustan los hombres?

[@tule3818]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤