Why I started self harming - My personal story part. 1

This wasn't an easy video to film, so I hope you like it. The rest of the story will come later
My Instagram account (we already are almost 19k over there !) : / selfharmerproblems_
About me : Hey everyone ! My name is Malika, I am 20 years old. I have a funny accent because I come from Switzerland (french speaking part) and I hope to be a voice for people sutrggling with self harm ! I started on Instagram 2 years ago now and now I'm on KZbin !
Credits :
Music : www.bensound.com

[@puggerslovers]

It makes me feel validated that you said this because it seems everyone has a trauma or something horrific that made them do this and it made me feel like a faker or something, and I felt this video, I relate a lot. Thank you for sharing

[@Selfharmerproblems]

I get you ❤

[@caffeineaddict9761]

me too like other ppl have other bigger problems then mine and oher ppl feel that too but never self armed and i just feel like an attention seeking wh*** and i just feel fake and horrible and i want to stop but every time i hear something relatable to something that caused me to try and self harm in the first place i cut and yeah

[@rosiesartsy]

I feel like more people are the 'weird kids' than a normal kid. But people still think we are weird.

[@magiriano9171]

It's great that you shared your story because it's quite different from all the stories here. Everyone is saying about horrible stuff that led them to harming themselves. That way people whose story is similar to yours feel invalid in a way (idk if I make any sense). I'm 19 and I'm from Poland. I have a great family and my reason is similar to yours although I rarely traveled. Once again thank you for sharing your story and I can't wait for part 2.

[@Selfharmerproblems]

Thank you so much ❤ and most are super triggering showing all the wounds aso...

[@siang1206x]

I’m the weird kid (I like documentaries and history and stuff) and I’m always seen as an outsider. I was bullied at my primary school and so I started to be mean back because I got defensive and that’s what I was around all day. In year 4 (3rd grade) I was allowed to move schools. People didn’t like me there either. I started pinching my wrists. At the start of year 7 this year (6th grade), I had a huge argument with my family, and used a pen lid to scratch my wrists. My new best friend told me that she used scissors to cut. Also, I had lost a load of my friends as I had moved and I was mean to people. I then started to use a scissor blade. One of my childhood best friends told me recently she used a razor blade. I got one out of a sharpener and started using that. Only my closest friends know. I was clean after 1 cut for around a month. One night I had such a bad day that I couldn’t sleep and just had such an urge to cut. I did. I also found out that my best friend who had been clean for a couple of months started again. I know this is long but I just need to get it out xx

[@Selfharmerproblems]

I feel you ❤ please get help

[@Em_Elizabeth]

I was also what one may consider a "weird kid". Was into science, art, and never complained about going to church (read a great deal about the Catholic saints). While I was never really bullied for it (I was praised for being creative and intelligent a lot), I was told by one of my peers to tone it down so I "wouldn't make everyone else look bad". I prefer to say that people like us are gifted, not weird. 😉

[@lishy_jan_2381]

I cant wait till this channel gets big and I can say that I was one of the first few subscribers. I love your videos. not many people talk about self harm, but you do witch I greatly appreciate because it helps to let others (like my self) to feel less alone and more understood

[@Selfharmerproblems]

That's extremely sweet, thanks❤

[@labbrockington7854]

No your so right no one ever talks about it they just put you on meds and tell you to stop doing it if it was that easy, people just dont get it friends, family, im glad i found this chanle 🤗

[@davidindigo]

I can relate, thanks for sharing!

[@Selfharmerproblems]

Thanks for the support ❤

[@neomawzz]

I know this is an old video but thank you for mentioning biting! I know it’s because you personally used that form of sh, but I still really appreciate it. That’s how it started for me too, and I barely see anyone mention it.

[@XxSad_boiUwUxX]

I started with a compass for math. I thought I was so weird and that nobody did that and it was just me and when she mentioned I just… idk feel validated. Thank you so much for sharing. I know I’m three years late but this really hit somewhere.

[@Hibubbles0315]

Same here, hope you’re much better now

[@Rebelwithacause94]

I love your hair it’s so awesome 😄 I love watching your videos they’re very helpful for me. I’m 12 years into self harm. Hopefully it’ll be the end for me.

[@missblurryeyes]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I feel like I'm not alone having mental issues even if I had an happy childhood. Thanks a lot you're awesome 😘

[@Selfharmerproblems]

Definitely not the only one ❤ I know it can be hard to feel like your struggles are valid

[@tapiocagirls8946]

I was an angsty 9 year old. That's literally why I started. Then it felt oddly good, so then I started doing it more, but then I just... stopped. I didn't actually break the skin for stealth reasons, so that might have been some contributor. Fast-forward three years to a few months ago, and I'm bored in my room. Then, I get the bright idea of drawing on my arm. With a pencil. For the heck of it. And that's how my several-year clean streak broke because of a dumb idea that had nothing to do with sh.

[@helpme7895]

School caused my self harm

[@rosedefknows]

*your mind caused you to self harm. school triggered your mind to do that.

[@justmai2476]

merci, je l'attendais celle là. t'es brave d'en parler

[@Selfharmerproblems]

I feel like there definitely is a lack of awareness around people with high IQs... So many people don't know they are or think we are just self righteous and think we know everything. Most people don't see that it's mostly not being more intelligent : it's functioning in other ways. I will make a more in depth video about my experience with it. Thanks for your love ❤

[@justmai2476]

looking forward to it Malika, xxx

[@memorysstories1561]

I always hear of these stories with bullying or other things like family members dying, but i have never been bullied or lost a family member i was close with. I'm just not having two things in my life very much other people have, but i don't really miss them because i never got to experience that: Number one is my parents living together and loving each other -my mum moved out soon after my 1½ years older brother was born Number two is having grandparents. -the mum of my mum and the dad of my dad both died before i was born -the mum of my dad died when i was around 6 and she couldn't speak or move so i never really started loving her before she died when i was 7 -the dad of my mum is still alive, but they haven't had talked to each other for at least 10 years, but i at least know where he lives

[@Leo-iq6ks]

I like your accent a lot

[@Selfharmerproblems]

what would you say it sounds like?

[@willow3306]

French kinda to me

[@miridm7929]

You're so brave sharing this...it's not easy at all to expose oneself...Merci, merci d'être un example

[@ghosty8419]

im 13 atm and I'm struggling with sh and have been since I was 8 i also have a lot of friends who are also struggling but they are younger than me and it brings me so much pain to know they are struggling and I can't do anything

[@XxSad_boiUwUxX]

Damn I’m 14 now and that comment is so relatable. I hope you and your friends are doing well.

[@ALE.NT69]

i just started because i realised the pain was only for a second. i continued and realised it made me feel better. tbh i dont rlly know why i even started, but i was quite young back then (11).

[@riley1682]

I've struggled with self harm a little over 16 months now and when I did it the first time it was too see if I would feel better because I had realize I'm bisexual and my mom found out when I was swimming and told me I'm a attention seeker whenever I relapsed and I'm straight and a girl even tho I'm bisexual and genderfluid and it's hard because her saying that hurts because I'm a suicide survivor

[@benkleve4199]

I just found your channel and you've really helped me in my journey of self harm recovery and you are amazing! I really appreciate all the work you do!

[@catherinerichter8317]

Love this! I wish I could share my story too online but I feel like no one cares.

[@kt.g.3055]

Bonjour Malika. Merci pour cette video. Je vis en Suisse moi aussi...et avant tout, ton accent n'a rien de bizarre. J'ai commencé à me "faire du mal" il y a plusieurs mois...je ne comprend pas encore pourquoi...mais merci pour ta video...ça m'a un peu aidé... prend soin de toi...

[@marciaglass2846]

you are amazing. very relatable. also, amazing hair. ...more videos!!!!

[@johncalhoun9335]

I embraced being the odd 1 in the circle , i embraced the darkness ,i enjoy listening to others stories on there mental health and on self harm i suppose that makes me weard

[@karmmark9585]

I started self-harming in fifth grade after a head injury and ton of bullying from not only cousins but people at school. Plus a combination of other things that happened, previous of that situation, in my childhood that I won't mention here. But that was a while ago but as of the past 6 to 7 days I haven't even thought about my other addictions or self-harming which is good because before that everyday for as long as I can remember, I thought about self-harming. And even have attempted s****** many times and left myself injured badly. I'm sorry for anyone who is going through this and I hope they recover. Because for me I know this has been going on too long and no one should have to deal with this. May God be with any of you suffering from this. This is not what we chose or asked for. It's just something that simply happens/ happened to us when the world seemed to be against us and makes us feel either empty or numb or not worthy of life. We can get past this. Peace and love🙏❤ May God bless anyone going through this. May God take this off of us for those of us that are dealing with it. For those of us caught in the shadows of this self-harming, please God emit your light for those of us in darkness so that we can see beyond the Shadows in Jesus name I pray. Amen I've never said a prayer on KZbin. However, I do feel it is a necessary time to do so we have to encourage each other as much as possible in any kind of way. Especially as of recently. Im an isolated individual who doesn't know many people, but if you have read this that I have written just know that I care.

[@natalie9797]

your experience was valid ❤️

[@noelleuwu1776]

Mk the thing about me is idk why I do it. I’m popular, I have a decent family. It’s confusing- And I mean I guess It’s like you I suppose I just can’t find another way to deal with my emotions. And I’ve trued stopping it’s just I can’t I just can’t.

[@lilfoot63728]

Hey, you probably don't want to hear that but have you tried talking to your family doctor about this? A psy can really help you get deeper into your mind and help you with knowing why you do that. Its always the first step towards recovery. I know mine made me realise things I never considered before, they make you think by asking tons of questions and it works.

[@eviearch]

Hey, I just want you to know that you're not alone, I am in a similar situation as well. I have a nice family, I have lot's of friends at school. I just get angry, and I don't even know why sometimes and just do it, and before I can stop myself I've already done it. I hope your doing well x

[@HijiyamasYakisobaPan]

@@eviearch I also have issues with anger and i don’t know how to handle it and kinda take it out on myself

[@labbrockington7854]

Every one always think you have to be young to self harm i started when i was 13 im 58 now and i want so to self harm again im week so ill give in, have trouble sleeping, my husband is getting ready to start radition in 2 weeks after trying every treatment they have all stoped working radition is the next step.

[@X.Stygian.X]

Thank you so much for this, I can relate to you in different ways and tho made me feel so validated😭

[@oliverwilliams3434]

My mom found out and did ✨nothing✨

[@devilhorndoodles9487]

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@tomofekshlomai7706]

Your story Is eerily similar to mine

[@calebcrook5875]

music: tomorrow - bensound

[@Hibubbles0315]

The fact that you started with a compass too…

[@madmaddy102]

omg I love the hair

[@LegendJ0e4]

why does the intro song trigger depressive thoughts in me lol