Why is masculinity linked to violence? - A response to The Tin Men

[@missinterpretation4984]

What bothers me most is that even ppl who supposedly want to solve the issue seem to think we need to find ways for boys/men to achieve the ideal of masculinity vs challenge the ideal. Like go to the gym and get strong so you can feel dominant… wait, why do you want to feel dominant? Who do you want to dominate? How about go to the gym to be healthy and respect others because you have no right to dominate anyone.

[@marv34001]

hilarious

[@heidim7732]

Or, no need to dominate anyone. Yes.

[@TititoDeBologay]

Because that's the core of malehood. "Not be the other" and be step on the "other" neck. More times than not the other is women, femininie men, but also anyone who doesnt center men or express themselves outside of the constraints of rhe mainstream definition of manhood/masculinity. You remove that a fair share of men can't assert themselves in an affirmative nor positive way. Most don't even like themselves.

[@lizziedanse8335]

This is how I feel, too. What kind of person is being molded by the obsession of acquiring dominance over others (often and majorly women and children)? An empathic person? A giving person? A collaborative person? The ideals are the problem, not a lack of access to them.

[@autumn7157]

@@lizziedanse8335I think it’s tied up with dominance, because it’s considered a means to success. Think of how capitalism is about who’s on top of a company, and how many underlings in their control. It also comes back to how white supremacy can make the most insignificant white man feel superior to the most accomplished black man. Dominance, especially the kind based around ideas of man’s “biological superiority to X minority”, is the most effortless form of success. The most contented and kind “manly” men, tend to be ones with the kind of hobbies that are about self betterment and making things. The competition is only against their past self, and success is defined by their personal mastery of a skill or a completion of a project. It’s interesting comparing the different spheres of men on youtube, and the ones who are desplaying the healthiest modes of masculinity, are the ones sharing their skills. Not just obvious ones like carpentry or car repair, but like I stumbled upon a pretty sizable number of men doing sewing and tailoring tutorials. And of course, the prop and cosplay community is pretty evenly distributed between masculine and feminine folks. But I think that’s kind of the point this video is trying to make. There are non-violent, non-dominance, non-competitive based ways of finding personal success. Men who find these sources of confidence aren’t easily drawn into the manosphere bullshit, because they don’t need such shallow solutions to finding their self-worth.

[@ladyalicent705]

Superman is a man. Of course, we can’t have superpowers like Superman, but Superman is also kind, altruistic, compassionate and dedicated to helping people, he never hurts anyone unless he absolutely has to, he’s the kind of guy who flies sick kids around the globe just to make them smile. What could possible be more masculine that Superman? That could be a different way to express masculinity. Men, if you’re reading this, just because you don’t have Superman’s powers doesn’t mean you can’t have Superman’s kindness and dedication to doing good!

[@Gfy69ytb]

You also have to get “mediocre bad guys” out of state governor/government positions and police chief’s appointments to their positions. Oh, and you’re gonna have to change the rules on sheriffs if you want to hold them accountable for crime as they currently aren’t under any law since they’re the oldest law-enforcement in the country, and the rules were never were changed do so federally.

[@sharonoddlyenough]

This is why I like the Healthy Gamer channel. He speaks to young men where they are and offers advice backed by evidence and supported by his experiences as a monk in training

[@OGK-1414]

May this video go far and wide, reaching all the necessary avenues to go wider and further.

[@SRHisntSilent]

Not a man but this is such a powerful message every red piller needs like yesterday

[@thelaughtersalad]

Quite moving video. I think it's important to look at men who feel excluded from masculinity with compassion and empathy. In a way, it's a type of dysphoria and these men too should have access to (non-violent) ways of affirming and expressing their relationship with gender.

[@Cocollyt]

Yes, other men need to show compassion and sympathy for these men for sure.

[@olympiaelda1121]

Men need to step up for each other.

[@jackhughes9896]

​@@CocollytWhy should only other men show compassion for men?

[@bekahmccue]

@@jackhughes9896 Dishonest reading; the original comment never said "only" men. One could also just as easily claim the original commnet said "also" men

[@Alarik52]

@@bekahmccue He didn't reply to the original comment though - dishonest reading on your part - then projected.

[@janinasaam]

Thanks for this informational video. I'm glad you're not just showing us the problem, but also describe how it happens and how we can actually solve this. It helps me to understand men more as well, which I think is very important in cases like this, especially because we want to be understood as well as they do

[@deanandruth7439]

Yeah, I think it does help to see things from their side a bit

[@youtubecommentator6023]

I don't feel like he solved it at all. All he said was that they need to find "other ways to feel successful as men." Then didn't offer any idea as to what "ways" that could be.

[@charleston1789]

@@youtubecommentator6023he did, the list that included compassion and empathy near the end of the video

[@vivvy_0]

​@@charleston1789that's not solving the whole problem tho, but certainly needs to be one of the first steps.

[@AM-yi4qb]

Has to be the first take on the issue of male violence/male loneliness that doesn't circle around and make it women's jobs to solve. It actually put the onus on men/boys themselves to acknowledge the root cause and make the self changes to fix it. The very end where it's stated that they have to be given a new belief system, and not just thrown into the dark void was so poignant.

[@Oyi_14]

Just curious but when has male loneliness ever been considered a woman's problem or job to solve.

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

@@Oyi_14 Look at literally any video by a woman that mentions the male loneliness epidemic (even briefly or indirectly) and you'll find a scattered swarm of whining "men" in the comment sections all saying women should do more or do better.

[@Oyi_14]

@@ThePsychicClarinetist I watched shoeonheads original video on the topic and the second one, there were more men talking about sui- than blaming women for their loneliness. Ok that's it for me

[@RoonMian]

@@Oyi_14 That's because shoeonhead is a token woman in the manosphere. She is part of the problem. The manosphere won't attack her because they do not want to lose her as a token. Look at the comment sections of women who actually know what they're talking about.

[@Alarik52]

@@Oyi_14 No matter what, women are always a victim. Even in lesbian relationships. Don't bother.

[@IsaacMyers1]

I guess, for me, the biggest obstacle to understanding this is being able to fathom having these beliefs. I grew up in this culture, I understand how the media “talks” to men. Yet, I grew up watching bob ross, mr rogers, reading rainbow, dragon tales, dr who, dinosaurs (the 90’s sitcom), and star trek. I guess what I am getting at is that I have always found it near impossible to understand why/how people develop these views, and I guess still do. I understand that a majority of media is fundamentally based on this form of masculinity and supports a belief in it. I guess I will just never understand the penchant to avoid media like it has the plague. This incessant fear about listening to other perspectives, when they are there trying to be heard. I dunno, maybe more of these men are so devastatingly media illiterate than I think, and therefore unable to see the neon colored sign that is the ways of being contained within. That or they had parents that only fed them, and allowed the boy to seek out, a diet of media that enforces the toxic form of masculinity.

[@marv34001]

Maybe the issue isn't what you think it is.

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

@@marv34001 Can you give any more information about what the issue might be then ?

[@marv34001]

@@OneCatShortOfCrazy men generally do not have a gender specific deference to outside opinions. Men don’t have a gendered trait of lacking empathy or emotions. As the commenter said men have been seen portrayed in a variety of emotional ways for a while, and even in antiquity. What we understand as masculinity are traits that men naturally exude and are recognized collectively as primarily male. Due to the nature of men, we are much more prone to violence and aggression. However men are still immensely varied creatures, and the issues that people like the video creator speak about are reduced to gender, but in reality are multifaceted.

[@bekahmccue]

@@marv34001 While you make clear you feel the issue is multifacited, you haven't provided other facets you feel contribute

[@RoonMian]

@@marv34001 "traits that men naturally exude" What a load of bullshit.

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

Are men watching your videos? I want that to be the case so bad.

[@ex.patriarch]

About 1/4 of followers and 1/3 of viewers identify as male. So, a minority, but a sizeable chunk. It's up from around 15-20% last year, so we're heading into the right direction.

[@MegaGraceiscool]

@@ex.patriarch It's disappointing that women are more likely to listen to this than the audience that would most benefit, but it's good you're seeing an uptick in male viewers.

[@Alarik52]

@@MegaGraceiscool Women are always willing to listen to how men are wrong.

[@regax847]

​@@ex.patriarch I wonder if tweaking your titles might help nudge it along faster... such as: Is YOUR masculinity linked to violence? Perhaps that's not the best example, but reworking them somehow so you are speaking directly to men in the titles might give the appearance that your audience is men and make them more likely to click... rather than the current feeling--that you may just be attempting to explain the nature of men to women. I'm not sure. Just a thought.

[@ianwazowski5607]

@@Alarik52Expatriarch is right

[@Lunara28]

I just found your videos... They are excellent !! Your arguments and presentation is so thorough, well articulated and researched. Please persist with making these as once you find a bigger audience on this platform you can have so much impact that serves... Many, many women and hopefully many men too, would welcome listening to your calm disposition and intelligent discourse on all these issues. I've subscribed to you on all your social media platforms.... Best wishes from Australia 😁😁♥️♥️

[@smol_angr_void7224]

A big issue with fixing this problem is the male aversion to 'femininity' - phrases like, "you hit like a girl", and "you cry like a little girl" have been around forever and are derogatory. From a young age, boys are taught that there is nothing worse, more dehumanizing and pathetic, than being a girl. Showing emotions in a healthy way, talking through problems, finding nonviolent solutions, and even expressing love or compassion for others were shunted into the role of 'femininity' because traditionally men wanted women to be the primary caregivers - looking after men, their home, and their children, as well as being agreeable and pleasing to men. Thus, many extremist men refuse to accept intervention, because they see it as 'feminizing' and therefore humiliating.

[@Celestein]

EXACTLY! Men HAVE lots of role models, but they are women. Men feel that being 'like a woman' is just about the worst possible thing so they refuse to learn anything from them. Women have no issue with admiring and learning from men and adopting *universal values*. Men actively want to keep being totally distinct and 'other' than women. They rather be isolated, lonely, miserable, exist in aggression and competition and even DIE than being 'like women' in any way. Women are giving up on trying to exchange with men because they are realizing that men don't accept any insights or experiences from them, however useful or intelligent, because they think it's beneath them. You can't reason with that.

[@jip230]

What’s wild is that there are great examples of masculinity on KZbin. I’ve come across content creators that are the epitome of good examples of masculinity. They’re successful have families and are fit disciplined and well balanced and have solid connections to men and women. Problem is that they barely get a fraction of attention the manosphere receives - struggle to attract a 100,000 subscribers because they aren’t sensational and preach good morals and common sense - which too many young men think are morning and don’t want to hear. I men aren’t pairing with good male role models - but part of the problem is that they don’t select good role models when they are presented to them

[@shillanassi]

Please drop names! Who are these creators?

[@jip230]

@@shillanassi Jason Wilson - he's created an academy for Black boys and promotes healthy black masculinity. He's married and a father and is doing well in life. 'Public Offender' is another one - he's a Black male content creator that is married with two boys and he doesn't hold back in going off directly to men on misogyny. Both of these guys have excellent content, but struggle to crack 100,000 followers - and they draw a lot of women. I suspect because a lot of men really don't want to hear or engage with their messages.

[@shillanassi]

@ thanks for the mentions! I hope people will see this.

[@strange4107]

@@jip230 Part of the issue may be that boys aren't coming to youtube to be ranted at. They don't like Kai Cenat because he's whatever thier idea of a man is, they like Kai because he's funny. I think the solution here media wise is just a chill guy who doesn't ascribe to the bullshit

[@starstorm1267]

Violence being linked to masculinity goes all the way back to the times of Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. Sparta and the Colosseum are prime examples of how violence is a glorified trait of masculinity in men. And considering that western cultures have taken a lot of aspects of Ancient Greek and Roman culture, especially with laying the foundations of their patriarchal systems, it’s not surprising that the male violence of those cultures are still glorified today (The movie “300” for example).

[@nanalyo3696]

Really great perspective on this matter. I never thought about it like that. The reasons, the frustrations. I can understand better now the why. And if there's a why, it probably has a solution.

[@zacharybosley1935]

The one thing that really grates me about this read of the situation is the narrative that the at-risk population of men who react violently under the social pressures they face is the belief that they believe they're entitled to the benefits of masculinity, as opposed to being overwhelmed by the price tag associated with those benefits. It reads like a justification to disregard what looks like a very clear case of role strain as something young men and boys should simply get over on their own. A lot of guys I know express far more pain at the lives of their grandfathers being out of reach than a sense that they should have it handed to them on a silver platter. The much more dangerous sentiment, I think, is not that they're owed the benefits of patriarchy, but the constant question of how far they need to go to get it.

[@deanandruth7439]

I think on some level when we want things as humans, we tend to feel entitled to them because others have them. It might not even be a conscious thought. We want what we want and whether we acknowledge the reasons we might or might not have what we want, we believe we should have them, and that commonly leads to this feeling of unfairness. It is very easy to see how entitlement can grow when you feel you have been treated unjustly. I say this in reply to the latter part of your statement, the more you focus on what you don't have and how to get it, the easier it is for the negative feelings you have towards anything you feel is keeping those things away from you to grow. The men around you might not feel like it should be handed to them on a silver platter, but they still want it and keep moving ahead with that as their focus.

[@marv34001]

@@deanandruth7439 Wanting things like a romantic partner and a house are completely reasonable things to focus on, and when the society around you shames you for wanting them by calling it entitlement, negative feelings are more than justified,

[@deanandruth7439]

@@marv34001 Wanting things like that is totally fine and it is fine to them have some negative feelings when you can't seem to attain them or people around you maybe shame you for wanting them, that's just human. It still doesn't change the fact that the wanting a partner or a house doesn't make you entitled to them and the worst thing to do when you want something and can't seem to get it is to have a bunch of voices in your ear telling you how understandable it is that you feel angry, if you were told this once or twice that's fine or given ways in which you could overcome your difficulties then that's okay. But that's not what happens, more often than not, the narrative turns towards anger at the people keeping those things away from you, whether it is the capitalist system keeping you from rising economically or women in general keeping you from finding a partner and having a family, what then tends to happen is that men find out that they cannot even begin to think of a way to beat the capitalist society but they do have power over women and whether it is online, physically or in any capacity, those negative feelings are then in all their fury targeted towards women. It doesn't matter whether they have met a woman or not, all women are the same because all women are keeping them from what they think they should have.

[@marv34001]

@@deanandruth7439 No one thinks you should get a romantic partner for free. No one. This is just some fabrication to further villainize young men who do don't like the state of the world they live in. If a group of people validate each others feelings about their similar situations, as long as it's based in fact and reasonable, I don't see a problem. Isn't that part of that empathy these people say men don't have? Some systems are harmful, some people are harmful. That's a completely fine thing to connect with others about. Most men have no power over women, I don't know what you're talking about. And the generalization of women is just as wrong as the generalization of men. Which is also a source of discontent among younger men. Finally, everyone has met a woman, that's where a lot of the negative feelings come from.

[@PhoenixHeartCure]

I can see how it could come across that way, yeah. The "can't get the things they feel entitled to" part felt kind of weird to me too for a totally different reason, as it feels like taken out of context of this channel it could be taken to mean the solution is to give these guys the things they want, which is...also not good. Like, them feeling entitled is NOT an issue easily fixed by society otherwise, and the point seemed to be for society to find solutions, so, without discussing what LEADS to said entitlement and how we as a society can fix THAT, I don't think it's a helpful way of talking about it at all.

[@wheatgerm1208]

Oh, you came so close. Yes, everything you said is valid. You even brushed up against the most powerful truth: the validation of manhood comes from other men. There will always be a limit to the effect women can have on male behavior. All the empathy, caring, and nurturing messages must come from other men. Until the average man "mans up" in a new way, these young men will continue to be lost to us all. Men need to stop posturing for other men, and start role-modelling for them. Both men and women will benefit.

[@Ohkay5613]

🎯

[@erikstyers4005]

Probably one of the most important videos I’ve seen in a while.

[@mellie4174]

I think the biggest problem is society is that men still wanna feel like a 'man'. I don't go around asking how can i feel like a woman today. I don't zsk myself how can i be successful as a woman. I ask myself how can i be successful in my goals while accepting I may have special obstacles because i am a woman. But i don't seek ebe a successful woman, I just seek to be a successful individual. So.... Ya... We have a problem here....

[@ingledork]

I love this video, though id like to challenge your conclusion that the main driving factor for violence in men is powerlessness. I think power has little to do with curtailing violent behavior, and we can prove that both from examples today and examples throughout history. There is no shortage of evidence througjout history that exemplifies how men with great power and great success have used those resources to subjugate and commit violence against others. From xerxes, to hitler, to stalin, to caesar, king henry the 8th....i could go on. And today, we can see that same power-drunk desire to commit violence from examples like Putin, the taliban, and Maduro. So knowing this, i dont think percieved success or power has a thing to with desire to commit violence. I think it has more to do with an overarching theme: entitlement. A misplaced sense of masculine entitlement has driven the worst acts of violence through persecution, subjugation and war. Its something that any man, regardless of his level of success in life can be consumed by and can drive them to stray from the virtues of maculinity. Its this sense of entitlement that has been irresponsibly woven into what it means to be masculine. Men have been taught and socialized for millenia that because they are a man, they are entitled to success, entitled to women waiting on them hand and foot, entitled to children, entitled to what the guy next to them has that he doesnt. And this sense of entitlement is the root cause for the rise in violence. Men are watching their older male peers who lived in a time when men dominated the workforce, faught in wars, and had women forced to stay at home to pump out babies and wait on them hand and foot. Men today are watching the world and culture change around them, especially with women having equal rights, and are angry that they arent getting this lifestyle that was demonstrated and promised to them by their elder male peers and relatives. They're angry that more is being demanded of their character than a paycheck and their fists when they were told that simply being a man made them entitled to success, power, and the servitude of women. What we need to do is help men navigate this new and changing world around them and to reform the definition of masculinity by cleansing the masculine entitlement from it. That success of men is not determined by how violent they are, how dominant they are, or how much money they make, but by the quality of their character and their willingess to help others that are different or weaker than them instead of keeping them under their boot.

[@Himmiefan]

You've hit the nail on the head: male-entitlement mentality that has been passed down through the ages. Conservative religion, any conservative religion, has been particularly bad at fostering this male-entitlement. I've personally seen how they've corrupted Christian scripture to reinforce their belief in male dominance. Oh, and your very last sentence is gold: true success as a masculine man should be seen by the quality of their character and how they care for others instead of how much money they make or how they dominate others, particularly women.

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

Yes. It's entitlement. Over and over, we find out these shooters just heard the word "no" for the first time.

[@Alarik52]

Entitlement isn't gender specific though, is it?

[@vivvy_0]

You forgot greed

[@shillanassi]

Exactly! Male power and dominance is being challenged; and male power will not go down, without a fight. We’re seeing that, now.

[@Mrsgmuller73]

The greatest man that ever existed was never violent even with those that may have deserved, was never pushy even if He was all mighty, was never vengeful even if He could dismantle all His enemy. He was firm, but kind, truthful but forgiving. He was the great example of masculinity and there's still wisdom on His words. Yet, men prefer to distort everything He said on their own benefit so they don't have to change.

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

This is very good! 👍

[@AUnicorn666]

I wonder if this is also related to how women with adhd often push their internal hyperactivity inwards and how women (and if I remember correctly people raised with the societal expectations of womanhood) often are more likely to harm themselves, this seems to show more how women push pain inwards where men (through anger being perceived as masculine as opposed to other emotions that are less dangerous) push their negative feelings outward

[@AUnicorn666]

I think I have heard of ways folks encourage men to be less violent, that it is more powerful to learn to handle your emotions and do good than it is to hurt others because of it

[@shillanassi]

Excellent points. But this also begs the question: why are men asking themselves how they can be successful as a *man*, rather than as a *person*? It all goes back to male dominance and is a consequence of our evolutionary history. Are men going to be willing to forgo dominance in order to find contentment?

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

its exactly why those dude-bro podcasts are so vile. cos they create this kind of angry, violent and isolated men who cant cope and view that the only way to be successful is to be rich, have sports cars, and women clinging on your arm. they dont stop to think these guys are full of shit or that everything is fake, rented and borrowed. they just see the sigma edits and begin self comparison because they took these extremely unhealthy role models who create problems in order to have consumers for their bogus snake oil.

[@GhostOfMrPickles]

how about removal/mitigation of the sense of entitlement. no one is entitled to anything beyond life and the basics. care, love and a basic education, shelter and food. expecting sex, a great paying job and respect is absurd. it's like a woman expecting to have whatever she feels she's 'entitled' to...earn it. figure out what you want on a basic level (not everyone figures it out early on), find strong healthy examples to follow and build your framework around, seek guidance when you need it, rather than relying on some 'good life' guru who teaches bs that leads to unhealthy mindsets. i'm not entitled to anything, any more than someone else. we simply need a better support system and fully destigmatize mental health. the solution is there, we have to be brave enough to seek it.

[@Ali.nalovecat]

💚💚💚

[@Freakymum1645]

So who job is it to fix all of that.? Whoa….

[@zacharybosley1935]

Oh shit, I'm late.

[@jackhughes9896]

So is it masculinity that's the problem? I thought it was only toxic masculinity that we should be concerned about.

[@Alarik52]

It's certainly not about equality.

[@michaeldove2399]

How does male disposability play into all of this?

[@huckaf]

I don't see hope, honestly. I could only see, real hope, if humans were actually to evolve. They won't. Sure, different models to obtain masculinity would "calm" down many present issues. But it won't fix things. Not really. In order to fix things, you would have to fix caveman perception. Otherwise, they would still want to compete, hate, gossip, create drama, have aggression, violence, self-convenience thinking and a loooong etc. To really fix them, you gotta fix human brains, honestly. Now if you just crave problems being moved to other areas, for the sake of a difference, then yeah, i get it.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Can’t really compare getting rid of a parasite that’s a risk to your health and life to getting rid of some random person not reliant on you that you’ve not met.

[@Remedy462]

Testosterone and Gender Expectations.

[@ladybug3380]

Then why aren’t men collectively changing gender expectations?

[@Remedy462]

@ladybug3380 Because men are not a collective hive mind that can all agree and do the same thing like women are not a collective hive mind that can all agree and to the same thing.

[@shillanassi]

@@ladybug3380, because they perceive that gender expectations benefit them.

[@Dark_Detective]

I never thought about resorting to violence because I wanted to be more manly. I only ever thought about violence when faced with a threat to my physical safety or when I needed to be safe from the abusers who I couldn't legally leave. I don't buy that the source of this violence is because men are insecure and need to feel masculine or manly.

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

So are you trying to say most male violence comes from logical reasons? Or not what you are trying to say

[@Dark_Detective]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm Not what I was trying to say. See the last sentence of my first post for what my point was.

[@Hype_Incarnate]

The only issue with your video is you gave no examples of what replacement would work if there even is one. I agree thst our society was built on women being lesser but as women have gained more and more freedom, they now have more freedom than men in social situations. Women can dress how they want, act how they want. Talk how they want. I cant express my love of animation and visual arts without my sexuality being questioned by both men and women. Even now im afraid to post this because of the backlash men get in your comments sections on other videos, but i feel like I need to have my voice heard for this one time.

[@olympiaelda1121]

Women dont have more freedom. But having the same freedom seems too much to men. Men coukd always dress how they wanted, criticise openly who they wanted... meanwhile women were supposed to be in the background with a mild smile that put you at ease, not to speak, avert her eyes, etc. .. Men like you just dont know what to do when even women wont accomodate you, and you immediately just focus on the negatives. You will have to learn that you need to build inner strength in life and live without the clutches that women represented in society. We are all grown up now.

[@Alarik52]

@@olympiaelda1121 If you think women don't have more freedom today in the US - visit the middle east.

[@callmecharlie4250]

those men and women that put you down for how you dress and what interests you have are exactly the people you need to push back against. you can't just wait for people to change and accept you, you need to be that change. become that accepting group that shows your interests and expression are valid and others looking for acceptance will find you and your group will grow. the world didn't just change for women, people that wanted change banded together and made it happen. you can be one of those people that make change happen too.

[@foolishlyfoolhardy6004]

Is being called gay really the only thing holding you back? You really don't think women get that? You're watching a channel that responds to men, and some women, who have specific and targetted vitriol towards women who dress how they want and don't act "feminine" or like things that are considered "masculine." And trust me, they let us know in real life too. I really don't understand your position here. You are the one making the choice. Are you really going to let some people calling you "gay" get in the way of finding people and a community you connect with? There are so many men in visual arts and animation, and plenty of them are straight. You do have the freedom to find that community and literally the only thing holding you back is yourself. It's not women holding you back, there are no laws that say you can't dress how you want or like those things. Society isn't giving women freedom, women are creating it for themselves with other women to get on equal standing - and men can too, yet instead of doing that so many of them are set on tearing women down so they can feel superior. And maybe you just found the ultimate truth of the channel. The only other thing holding you back is the expectation of other men and the patriarchy. And it's your choice to be beholden to it or not. ... also there's nothing wrong with being gay, I don't get why being called gay is such a fear men have.

[@l.n.3372]

In what world do women have more freedom to talk on the internet without their videos being spammed by sexist or harmful comments? And women get judged for simple things like playing a video game. They're told that it's for men and not for them. How is that freedom that women have that men lack?

[@darrellcawley5179]

The only issue i have with what you said is the vast levels of supposition in your quantifications, and those quantifications being used as foundational assumptions through which you attempt to describe "violent extremism" for the purposes of theoretically attempting to combat or thwart said violence and extremism The pathology i agree with: violent extremism IS a direct byproduct of entire swaths of a population feeling helpless, hopeless, powerless...it's kind of a no-brainer, and is present throughout history... all the way back to biblical times...just like infanticide is, for the same reasons. The entire New Testament is set in the beginning of what archeologists and secular historians would later understand as basically a drawn out genocide of Hebrews by their Roman occupiers. Jesus dodged the bullet King Herod sent for all those 1st born sons between just born and 2 years old @ his birth & "give us Barabus!" at Jesus' death - Barabus being a leader of "violent extremists" which was why he was scheduled for the same execution with the same charges of essentially inciting rebellion against the Emperor of Rome as Jesus was. That culminated in a HUGE war 80 or so years later in Jerusalem between the Hebrews and the Romans. Nearly wiped them off the planet. Crack epidemic-induced Blood vs Crips street gangs are violent extremists. KKK is violent extremists. IRA were violent extremists. Hamas is violent extremists. Bolsheviks were violent extremists. Nazis were. The Crusades were. Contras were... and YES this violence IS primarily committed by men, as are mass murders, killing sprees, ect. If pointing out infanticide is committed primarily by women is considered misogyny, then placing blame for violent extremism at the feet of masculinity IS just as misandrous. asserting "statistics" on infanticide, and their reduction "by 2/3rds" by way of "social programs" and baby drop boxes is a clearly problematic statistic on its face. From when to when was this 2/3rds recorded? Where? HOW? You can't really substantiate that empirically or effectively, much less ethically. You CAN effectively assert things like lesbian DV rates are statistically higher that hetero DV rates, that they are lowest in gay men relationships, and that mass shootings went way up after the assault weapons ban was lifted. Is that misogyny? the notion that "violent extremism" is somehow remotely new, and is a problem rooted in "masculinity" and "de-programming" on an individual level requires approaching it with masculinity as a core component to the pathology does not even remotely address what is basically multiple societies lurching towards yet another global conflict...due to exponentially growing inequality across the board for all of humanity far more than it is due to the presence of testicles in the equation...is dehumanizing to everyone involved: perpetrators AND victims, and inevitably perpetuates the whole issue both individually and societally It invalidates the causality behind these social pressures and conditions that breed violent extremism in the first place, removes culpability for sexism manifesting as tribalism greatly contributing to it in it's current form, and obfuscates that baseline systemic causality--and on an individual level exacerbates this causality for the individual's perceived powerlessness by placing what is tantamount to blame for violence stemming from powerlessness on social significance or physical presence of one set of genitalia over another If you tell an individual male, who's perception of his relationship between self and the rest of society has already led him to "being susceptible to violent extremism", then telling him his potential violence is inherently a problem rooted IN masculinity, i'm not quite sure how you're not understanding how much that reinforces for that male that society expects nothing more of him THAN violence It's the blurring of philosophy and sociology with "hard science" through extremely sus "statistics" while ignoring how much thresholds and definitions have shifted and evolved over such a relatively short timeline, as well as how little ACTUAL data can empirically be accessible about any of these admittedly terrifying tendencies in either men or women that i tale issue with here I mean, what is your working definition for "violent extremism"? How the hell are we supposed to know what "the rates of" babies killed in their 1st 48 hrs, or of children killed later in their lives by either of their parents truly were....ANYwhere in the world 80, 100, 150, 200 years ago in Texas, Britain, Germany, China, Malaysia, literally anywhere? Again, your assertion that it is the helplessness and powerlessness on an individual level that makes a man susceptible to essentially resorting to violence - often against a society as a whole, as well as himself - IS absolutely true It's your presentation through a narrative of seemingly clinical style research from whence solid statistical data sets could have ever been derived, with the character plot point of "violence IS masculine" and the plot arc of "epidemic impending doom" like it's global warming or skyrocketing cancer rates that i take issue with, and further assert is inherently counter productive, and (most likely Unintentionally) disingenuous, and inevitably will only inflame and further that core issue of men who feel powerless to be anything but violent by telling them they are, basically, because they ARE men...have no inherent power other THAN violence Focusing on the "masculinity" of violence is, in a sense, part of the true core issue across the board: The invalidation of not their masculinity, but of their HUMANity. Because it IS telling them they ARE "just men". It IS treating them like they are dangerous BECAUSE they need help feeling like whole and complete human beings. I do not believe that is your intention. I do, however, believe that is an inherent flaw in this approach Labeling Native Americans as more genetically susceptible to alcoholism isn't helpful Labeling sickle cell anemia as a genetically African American problem isn't helpful Labeling lactose intolerance as a genetically Asian problem isn't helpful Labeling violent extremism as an inherently masculine problem Isn't helpful

[@maclectic]

In short monogamy stabilizes a society...

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

you took the wrong message.

[@maclectic]

@@KossolaxtheForesworn He's describing our society which is polygamist. All polygamist societies are either violent or expansive. They have to be one or the other, the only alternative is monogamy.

[@233lynx]

@@KossolaxtheForesworn That message isn't wrong though...

[@l.n.3372]

​@233lynx It IS wrong tho. Because a society can be stable without monogamy too. In a hypothetical world where there were 90% of the population were women and only 10% were men, monogamy wouldn't be possible for everyone yet society would be perfectly fine. Crime would likely decrease. Not everyone would find a spouse but the population would still increase because sperm banks allow men to have many children even without marrying the woman.

[@ladybug3380]

Not necessarily. It just forces women to mate with men they’re not attracted to. Societies just need less men.

[@ex.patriarch]

@kikijewell2967 heres the full version that youd asked about on men and violence.

[@JediNiyte]

Testosterone makes you aggressive. Biology 101.

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

Bullshit.

[@Alarik52]

Try again. Estrogen is a form of steroid, and also causes agression. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10662589/

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

is that what you will say in court when you refuse to control your temper and beat up someone.

[@heidi4752]

Even though men do have more testosterone than women (on average), it turns out testosterone doesn't explain sex differences in aggression. There's a great book called Testosterone Rex by psychologist/researcher Cordelia Fine that breaks down the research on this.