Why Is T**** Hiding His Jan 6th Phone Records? | Cawthorne's Cocaine Claims Rattle GOP

We know the former president spoke to Kevin McCarthy and Jim Jordan as the January 6th insurrection unfolded, but his missing phone records leave a lot of open questions. Elsewhere in Washington, Republican congressman Madison Cawthorne's allegations of cocaine use and orgies among lawmakers have drawn rebukes from members of his party. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@danyellerobinson5940]

I love that Colbert refuses to give the Drumpf name any air time.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Make Donald Drumpf Again

[@nein9nein]

All the cooperate media did was talk about him non stop for four years. Don't worry they made up for it cult member

[@olympiaskye2324]

I thought I was the only one! That guy is T**p anymore! lol

[@Mister3Pac]

Yes, this is what America is about! Erasing political opponents from public discourse.

[@danyellerobinson5940]

@@Mister3Pac ??? Clearly Drumpf is still part of the discourse. Colbert has simply rebranded T***p as He Who Shall Not Be Named.

[@redstonecasey4713]

"Photograph that came with the frame" is hilarious. It's far more accurate than it has any business being.

[@RustyTube]

The President’s replies to Doocebag are pure gold.

[@totalbliss1]

If I were them, I would wear a full Hazmat suit before going into those negotiations.

[@laalaa99stl]

Of course he used "backchannels." He's talked out of his back channel all his life!

[@atiredfloridian777]

That got me laughing way more than it should have.

[@AJMic-sp2rx]

I think your slightly mistaken at one point he let his bone spurs scream for help.

[@icecreamheadache3111]

A Statement from the Orifice of the 45th President of the United States

[@Marlowekay]

Hysterical!!! It's a good thing we all have back channels!!! Otherwise!!! Marlowe

[@amberandrews6842]

That was so funny my hubby and wondered who you write for?

[@rosesmith6925]

"I'm not telling you!" Say what you want about Biden but his old man zingers are hysterical 😂😂

[@nein9nein]

not as hysterical as Hunter Biden's crack binges.

[@fenudel2734]

"You‘re silly!" 😂

[@elenachristian9860]

@@fenudel2734 The casual condescension...chef's 💋 😘

[@NotMikeok]

Bidens got my vote even though he’s a corporate sell out. At least he won’t get us nuked.

[@tdsims1963]

Say what you want, but I love his "old man" condescension! I think Biden is a lot more "alert" than people think. Keep it rockin' in the free world, "Uncle Joe"☺️!

[@keebelf]

So nice to have a leader that won’t give all the secrets away and doesn’t have to be cautioned about telling about the high-tech fence 😂

[@annemettefrederiksen7751]

Or sends all if his own advisors and staff out of the room when meeting with a President from a hostile nation...I prefer a President not committing treason in full view...

[@annemettefrederiksen7751]

@Christine My bad, but seeing as how The Mango Mussolini seems to be hanging by Putins apron string, he is quite difficult to surpass when doing so 🤣

[@JR-playlists]

The new acronym for DOJ is DYJ or DO YOUR JOB!!! Merrick indite all those actual insurrection criminals and russian interference in our elections

[@ZunamiRevert]

@@annemettefrederiksen7751 Mango Mussolini 💀💀💀

[@jessprice6468]

@@annemettefrederiksen7751 So you prefer the racist, child groping, always lying piece of crap we have now? At least Mango Mussolini was open about breaking the law lol.

[@Jim-yc7zb]

In the lawsuit of tRump's niece, he used the term "burner phone" three times. If he doesn't know what a burner phone is, how did he know to use the term?

[@murdoch9106]

"I'm not gonna tell you, why would I tell you, you gotta be silly!" - Biden. Damn, I want that as my ringtone, thats hilarious!!!! Might be the best thing I've heard from any US President ever! :D

[@tdsims1963]

Uncle Joe is a character!

[@frasersgirl4383]

Absolutely! I want it as my ringtone too!!

[@alvintexas5859]

@@tdsims1963 Not to mention a liar and a crook and a sorry assed President.

[@heyheytaytay]

"House Minority Leader and Guy at the Orgy Cooling his Wang in the Spinach Dip" is probably the best alter-ego ever written for the show. I had tears.

[@magolor7856]

Yeah! That one had me choking on my water. 😂

[@TheOrrvillian]

It's like a drill bit! LOL!!

[@kiyokowilkinson158]

Yeah , acting like he doesn't know about sex parties but is totally fine with kilo of cocoaine . That makes perfectly good sense to choose to play dumb about the legal one not the federal crime one , right ?🤪🤪😜 Double dipping your wang is still a party fawl doesn't matter what your dipping , no doubles . Not sure about the sex party rules that might be acceptable there or encouraged even . LOL really don't think I want to know the answer to that one honestly . My mother is still alive and I care what she thinks about me 🤏 untill I die . She is also a fan as well . 😊🤞🏼✌🏽

[@gamepapa1211]

I will never eat a single spinach dip in my life ever again.

[@Hailstormand]

When that hit, I was glad my throat was dry and my mouth was empty.

[@buckyoung1287]

Well I guess now we know why Jim Jordan was so reluctant to "remember" whether or not he spoke to the former "President" during the attack

[@j.p.mcmurphy263]

@Buck Young... gym jordan has a burner memory.

[@Ottovontubes]

What's intriguing about Cawthorne's claims is that unless the people inviting him were doing cocaine at the capitol, Cawthorne wouldn't have known about the cocaine at the sex parties unless he accepted the invitation.

[@elenachristian9860]

He didn't think that through

[@xpsxps1339]

@@elenachristian9860, He didn't think at all, poor boy, because he doesn't have the capacity for it. Being a congress member is his only way to attract some attention in good hope some woman eventually will take mercy on him. (Why the heck did I get an impression he was high/drank(?) during the interview...?)

[@badnoodlez]

Anyone else ever been to a dive bar? I've seen plenty of coke heads in my day and Madison looked like he was straight up tweaking with cocaine motormouth. Either some weird projection or the only truthful thing he's said in years

[@insightfulhistorian1861]

@@xpsxps1339 High and narcissistically obsessed with how to leech off the far right hog crowd for views.

[@rumpvirus7393]

Yah... they said it was a LITTLE sexual get together... ... So Spanky was going to be there for sure. Its all so elementary... ...Matt would be there looking for a date.

[@glennwelsh9784]

I may be going out a limb by saying that you probably shouldn't trust peace negotiations involving a nation that would poison your peace negotiators during said peace negotiations.

[@calags]

It's a rest in peace negotiation.😁

[@gamepapa1211]

@@TheMulToyVerse because the leader of said nation came to power by serving all of his political opponents tea laced with polonium. After that little stunt, will YOU let yourself or your kids consume anything he and his mates wheeled out of the kitchen?

[@deprofundis3293]

@@calags omg 😂

[@Echo81Rumple83]

@@TheMulToyVerse because Putrid doesn't trust anyone else to not do the same thing to him like he always do unto others. Even the Golden Rule can be corrupted to justify one's actions.

[@cliveklg7739]

Or trust one that after ending the 'war' with the country of Georgia, has continually moved the border fences of the occupied area into Georgia on a weekly if not daily basis.

[@beez1717]

The pie chart forgot to have an overlay that shows "lying about everything" showing it occurs 100% of the time!

[@kandreasworld4374]

When did journalism turn into 'Let's ask the dumbest questions humanly possible'???

[@skycloud7637]

Every time Peter Dufus gets slapped down...An angel gets it's wings!

[@223Drone]

Don't forget Clarence Thomas's wife told him vote against releasing any White House records.

[@procellsearchlightpictures4328]

Trump says he's never heard of burner phones, but he mentioned them in his lawsuit against his niece.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Good memory

[@oldrrocr]

but, but, but, the tangerine twit (the world's foremost genius) couldn't remember ANYTHING in his deposition to Mueller.

[@robgee5219]

Yeah Trumps the problem and the topic lol. As the worlds exploding

[@joycastle.]

But that would mean that ... HE'S LYING???!??! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[@karsten9895]

@@joycastle. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DownwithEA1]

I remember growing up thinking politics were boring. How I wish I was right.

[@elenachristian9860]

The party that fined senators for sleeveless dresses and fell into hysteria over Obama's tan suit gives us Senator Backwards Ball Cap.

[@cathywethington5913]

Not to mention that he speaks like an adolescent

[@oldrrocr]

they probably thought Cawthorn was an intern and would serve up the coke.

[@EriqKoontz]

Please, PLEASE continue to roast “Madison” Cawthorne!!!! He richly deserves every good roasting you can provide! 👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@oldrrocr]

hat on backwards?... they probably thought he was an intern. His constituents must be so proud!

[@takkieterror5152]

@@oldrrocr Lol yeah, that hat backwards actually gives a good representation of his matureness.

[@33none42]

@@takkieterror5152 He needs to play baseball with Steve et al...best ball game in American history Deat5h to the GOP

[@kateoc8]

@@takkieterror5152 maturity.

[@LtCaveman]

@@oldrrocr That means he's a bottom and likes to get pounded in public parks. It's all code.

[@Sunny25611]

The look on Biden’s face was priceless when he was answering DoDoDoozy! 😂 “You pathetic little idiot..” as his eyes filled with merriment and derision ..🤣

[@studytoshowthyselfapprove8301]

To Sunny: Brandon is the TRUE Idiot & his mouth will get us in WW3, if he don't shut up! His Handlers made him correct those 4 deadly gaffes. Even though our propaganda Media defends Brandon's stupid & reckless remarks, our allies & other parts of the world are angry with him for escalating the problem. Don't be distracted with foolishness; pay attention to our Resident & his destructive policies!

[@MrDomsmith]

He definitely doesn’t like douche

[@nein9nein]

Biden raised a crack head for a son LOL

[@sophierobinson2738]

Trump would have come right out and told him.

[@bryaneberly3588]

@@sophierobinson2738 Trump would have straight up declared war on Ukraine; he and his are eating up the fake Nazi rhetoric.

[@Nicole-hc7rh]

The second Madison Cawthorn said “doing a key bump of cocaine” I knew he was Matt Gaetz Pt. 2.

[@eviliswhereevilthinks9617]

When Trump admits to not knowing something, he’s lying. He stated many times he’s a very highly intelligent man - he would never admit to not knowing some thing even if he didn’t know.

[@mikemann1960]

Don't forget the accordion hands. That is his illustration of the size of lies he's telling.

[@carloscrawford2454]

trump’s ALWAYS lying 🤥

[@alexisrivera200xable]

That is a sharp observation right there, Trump has not even once denied knowing about stuff he is asked. Even for the simplest stuff that everyone would comprehend if he didn't know about (The US Nuclear Triad is a real well documented example of this behavior.) He would go out of his way on a tirade about how smart and knowledgeable he is about it while avoiding telling anything specific, the only times he ever denied knowing about anything is when it's crime related. He thinks he is slick by speaking like the mafia dons of old in vague terms to keep him from incriminating himself and regrettably for America's justice system it seems his cheap mafia impersonation IS more than ENOUGH as the law has not yet held him accountable for anything in his ENTIRE life. I Despise his entire evil criminal family and even I must angrily admit that if you spend life unaccountable to anything like he has done, there is no reason for him to believe this time will be any different. The US really is that impotent when it comes to prosecuting politicians and the wealthy. The Jan 6 insurrectionists will serve their sentences long before any criminal charges are brought on Trump despite it being so obvious and well documented. This will sadly be swept under the rug once the republicunts retake the White House, the House of Representatives or the US Senate.

[@HaimTabibi]

Transitory. I mean it’s transitory. Pleas believe it is transitory.

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

When he denies knowing something he is lying when he claims to be an expert on something he is lying, when he says nobody knows about a subject he means he did not know.

[@tereziamarkova2822]

"The guy with the orgy and cocaine could be any Matt Gaetz." Closing this segment with an absolute banger, I see.

[@ericklaus3972]

Or Hunter Biden

[@Been.Here.Since.2007]

But more than likely Hunter

[@oldrrocr]

it could also be machine-gun boebert.

[@henrymccoy7171]

@@Been.Here.Since.2007 - Sure, buddy, sure. Still mixing your beer with meth, eh?

[@MrMarkOlson]

@@Been.Here.Since.2007 Cawthorn was talking about currently in power elected Representatives and Senators, not a politician's child. See the difference?

[@notsure1969]

"Fiscally conservative flesh pits" is a term I wish I could burn from my brain.

[@oldrrocr]

yeah, defending the country's biggest criminal is no big deal, but "MORAL TURPITUDE"?... NEVER!!!

[@theseveredheadofjohnthebap7322]

I cut my ears off and burned my brain for sanitation purposes.

[@monishchatterjee5661]

Prezdent Coup-a-loompa!! Absolutely brilliant.

[@innakoretska]

When you live in Ukraine 60 km from the front line, but you still can't miss Stephen Colbert's monologues. And I am surprised that you have not yet recorded a monologue that Russian soldiers steal from Ukrainian homes, if anyone doesn’t know it carpets, laptops, perfumes, clothes, and sometimes women's panties and bras. And listen to what their wives are asking to bring from Ukraine. When you listen to them, you realize that the war could have been stopped by buying their wives fashionable clothes. With love from Ukraine 🇺🇦

[@sharonharris9782]

Please, please stay safe!

[@rumpvirus7393]

Laptops, womans panties and bras ? You've found Rudy's Russian supply chain. For some reason he hasn't been flying back there for awhile now on the wind mill powered blumb. Its really an amazing from of getting to remote locations of depravity. Hardly anyone knew that before, before now... or maybe now. Its amazing really, if you can't think about it.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

At this point, you're either loyal to America OR Trump, but it can't be both. I proudly choose America! 🇺🇸

[@tiki_trash]

👍 Well put, Suzy Q.

[@sharbear4248]

You & me both! We’ll said!

[@stephenscuba6284]

Better hope he doesn't win again definitely be end of America as you know it✌️

[@Randy-ry9ss]

🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

[@garymcdermott772]

Aussies stand with America but only if led by the blue side. With trump, no we don’t. Good luck to you all..

[@SpaceForceCommander]

“China, if you’re listening… release Trump’s 7 hour 37 minute call logs!”

[@drunkengamer1977]

@@debbydeloach Oh the old laptop eh? Funny how they never revealed anything when they allegedly had it

[@goldengrimlock]

@@debbydeloach They've had it for how long and nothing came from it? Weird, almost like it...didn't have anything important, or my have not even existed.

[@ReadyFreddie5523]

@@goldengrimlock Oh, but all good Republicans live in an alternative world, not just reality like the rest of us. So Hunter's mythical laptop and fire breathing dragons are both there.

[@oldrrocr]

@@ReadyFreddie5523 Don't forget the pictures at Chuck Grasley's orgies... good blackmail material there.

[@goldengrimlock]

@@ReadyFreddie5523 At least the dragons sound pretty cool. Too bad they're exclusive to insane people.

[@diannaholton768]

I had to laugh about the not touching or handshakes. Could not blame them after what keeps happening to Putin's opponents!

[@70blue63]

All criminals know what a burner phone is

[@casbot71]

*"Seven Hour Gap"* needs to become a slogan. A great comeback to "Let's go Brandon".

[@caliscribe2120]

It allows for some forgiveness for President Nixon. His gap was only 17 and half minutes. (Look it up kids. From a boomer.)

[@debdanton2295]

@@caliscribe2120 Absolutely! I was just thinking about Rosemary’s great foot lean to answer the phone.

[@vic7o2]

I would have to disagree. "Person, woman, man, camera, TV" his greatest quote boasting about a dementia test. He also made his doctors sign those stupid contracts or whatever so he can literally say whatever he wants and he can never be corrected. For all we know he probably failed the stupid test.

[@starscarrednyx]

Wasn't it documented that it was on the TVs they were watching afterwards? *Seven hour gap while watching it on TV* ... not the same ring but, you know, says a whole lot more in context.

[@gamepapa1211]

Just submitted "The Seven Hour Gap" for entry in LSSC's "He Who Shall Be Named" Twitter thread. Let's see if it takes.

[@xekusion]

He did tweet during the riots so he definitely had a device.

[@rumpvirus7393]

Its all Al Gore's fault for inventing the internet. Otherwise Spanky would need to be there like he promised the crowd or send a cardboard cut out like he did for Trump University Students who got the upgrade version of his years of experience in fine Corinthian card board tree Fiber wood brain... That's such a major upgrade to ShrinkyDink wood brain they would have all paid double... And they wood... ...if it wasn't for those meddling kids in the hippy van... and their dog lawyers. ...Dammit Putin give me the laptop you son of a Bitch, I kept up my end of the deal !!! Aparently Putin is also a blind laptop repair guy from Ukraine. Probably mad some asshole blew up his laptop shop and smelling bum dog in training. It must have been buried at Chernobyl because Russians were digging for some reason beside trying to commit suicide. Aparently they started getting sick. Who knew, nobody has ever heard of it before. Of course the rest of the planet has a bit different questions about that Whole hole thing... butt... I don't see why it woodbe Russia ?

[@miriambucholtz9315]

Thanks for the vivid mental image with the spinach dip line. I almost spit my dentures onto the monitor. Plus, the image keeps popping up in my head at random intervals like some sort of instant replay. It's a good thing I live alone. I think I've already scared my cat with the laughing fits.

[@BS-detector]

Sometimes, getting the news filtered by a comedian is the only way to handle hearing it. Thank you for always being funny, Stephen!

[@alvintexas5859]

He is about as funny as a heart attack. Johnny Carson is turning over in his grave. You know nothing about comedy.

[@kardiackids1435]

@@alvintexas5859 Comedy is all subjective Alvin. What's funny to you, may not be to others and vice versa. For instance, we just had a thread going on who everyone's all-time greats are....mine is G. Carlin and one mentioned Pryor and another Chappelle. L G simply thanked him for being funny...in his opinion. Jeez!

[@Cliftymike-mq9gs]

@@alvintexas5859 😅🤣😂😅🤣😂 We know what you are.. 😅🤣😂

[@derenfranke8240]

“Comedian”

[@bwenluck9812]

@@alvintexas5859 Yeah, well Carson is dead, so there's THAT. We gotta work with what we got, and he's actually pretty funny. You might want to get your sense of humor checked! 😉

[@mida2202]

Never going to look at spinach dip the same. Fantastic writing and delivery. 10 out of 10. Thank you.

[@danaferguson462]

I love how Biden said that it was "silly", He has much better manners than 45. The nightmare ex.

[@alvintexas5859]

He has no clue where he is. He was probably farting and talking in his sleep again. Guess you like that $5 gallon gas over a few mean tweets which were always true anyway. Trump is always right.

[@Yougotsblounchsked]

Imagine Fox getting mad at Biden for the "I'm not gonna tell you" comment, while Dumpy pulled that stunt all the time

[@docdirtymrclean3610]

Especially since Fox has been acting like Russian State TV pushing that juicy, juicy Cucker Turdson propaganda.

[@onequickthing8950]

Biden stifled a "you gotta be shittin me" with that silly line.

[@JoeEnglandShow]

Unless I'm mistaken, it's worth noting that in Trump's lawsuit against the NY Times and his niece he used the term "burner phone" at least 3 times.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

So...either court documented proof of his lying, or documented proof of how severe his dementia is.

[@ReadyFreddie5523]

So ....we all know Dump is a habitual liar and his dementia is getting much worse. So the burner phone idea was discussed in the "war room" before the 6th, Dump uses his aides and other people phones all the time. I'm sure he had several just for this sedition, oh so sneaky!!!

[@corbeau-_-]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings you'd think that, but the dude has inflated/deflated the value of his assets and said his company is worth as much as he says it is - which differs based on his emotion. He did this in broad daylight and never really got caught. He is like he is for a reason... He has always gotten away with his bull, claiming he knows everything, but when push comes to shove, he knows nothing and he has delegated everything to people he can blame - even though he ordered them around. He always finds a new patsy, or two, like he found Giuliani, the mooch, or even a mitch who protects him to make sure his own incessant greed can remain unpunished. A big part of politics and 'upper' society is based on that premise of one hand washing the other. Usually, the government wins, but Trump seems to be on to something: just never admit defeat while talking out of your ass the whole day... The people that matter won't take you seriously and the gullible ones will eat from the palm of your hand...

[@corbeau-_-]

I forgot to mention his former dirtbag lawyer... Like the mob, he makes them all complicit and shoves them under the bus when the time is 'right'. The odd thing is that people can't wait to start working for this succesful businessman - like said, it never seems to catch on.

[@zesty9815]

But he forgot, because he has _"one of the great memories of all time"._

[@Michael-ez3zg]

*Madison Cawthorn* says men are weak & not manly enough because that's how he feels about himself and is only projecting. *150 former students signed a letter accusing him of being a sexual predator,* due to his behavior, prior to his car accident, which his friend said he also lied about.

[@ldfreitas9437]

He's a typical example of someone failing upward.

[@edwardh1256]

stuff happened after his accident regarding his sexual behavior

[@tabularasa]

Based on what I've read, he's likely to get primaried right out of his job, so at least there's that.

[@eIonmusk542]

He said his friend left him in the car to die when he actually pulled Cawthorn out of the wreck. Cawthorn was sitting in the car with his legs on the dash during the accident. He had made his 17 year old friend drive despite him being sleepy.

[@juliannero2769]

Another"fortunate son" of a B.

[@Beelzebubbbbles]

Jesus wept, but that McCarthy dig might be peak Colbert, and I hope one day that the image doesn't suddenly pop into my head. Kudos to those writers, on fire tonight.

[@kerwynbrat5771]

Republican President Richard Nixon was booted for a missing 18 minutes (among other things). What the hell has happened to this country?

[@AndiDuck]

“We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.” - Eric Trump - Burner Son

[@gamepapa1211]

"Burner Son" was an upgrade compared to Eric's previous nickname: "Spare Kidneys".

[@AndiDuck]

@@gamepapa1211 Hahaha

[@oldrrocr]

well Eric sort of looks like don the con ... unlike some of the other children.

[@nextplanb1899]

Hunter Biden - Don't forget to leave 10% for the "Big Guy"

[@marquitamarina1486]

@@oldrrocr Ivanka looked just like Eric before all her plastic surgeries

[@richmoves]

Guy at the orgy cooling his wang in the spinach dip! That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time... I was dying laughing! 😂

[@sharonsnow6295]

I USED TO LOVE SPINICH DIP~~~STEPHEN!!

[@nomenclature9373]

Memo to self: Remove spinach dip from shopping list.

[@richmoves]

@@nomenclature9373 you can keep spinach dip on the shopping list, just don't go to any orgies where food is offered. 🤣

[@josesalazar3150]

"Can I buy a vowel", hilarious.

[@Tabcans]

"why would I tell YOU" LOL love it

[@co7314]

Can you imagine if it were the other party? The GOP would be screaming for someone's head on a pike.

[@gamepapa1211]

Hypocrisy is the GQP's brand.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

It’s what they’re best at..

[@tiki_trash]

Hypocrisy is the party platform.

[@clinttucker5197]

Hypocrisy exist on both sides of the aisles and the more I go to the center the more I see 🤦

[@johnree6106]

You mean like denying that a certain laptop was real to the point of banning even the mentioning of it 🤔 🙄

[@camelsh-t_on_the_walls446]

I have to confess I'm so fed up with anything trump at this point, that not even Colbert makes it bearable... All the World needs now, is to see the slippery orange glob of a criminal & traitor where he belongs: in *JAIL.*

[@rocky5152]

Hoorah!!! Agreed.

[@Kimberly-dt4ko]

Orange in the new black and white stripes?

[@kiyokowilkinson158]

@@Kimberly-dt4ko , I don't think I could bare to watch that show even if he was on it , unless he was being touched by a big dude repeatedly like child abuser would be in that case I'd never miss a show . If he doesn't serve anytime I will lose any faith I have in our justice system period and so will thousands of other people not just myself . It doesn't play out well for the American people if he gets by with this period .he has to be Punished publicly so his cult will stop . Their just as bad as he is . "Cut the head of the snake off so to speak ."🤞🏼🙏🏼🤝🏼 if I miss jury duty i go to jail .

[@lynnegackstetter2779]

Oh I don't know this monologue was hysterical 😄 Some time we just need to laugh and laugh and laugh. The most we can do is make sure Democrats take even more seats in the House and Senate. Republicans want it all shut down and put tRump back in office.

[@M_SC]

Take a break because it’s gonna continue unfortunately

[@tutelary5861]

The Word, "All that is done in secret and in darkness Will come to Light."

[@riel4553]

"photograph that came with the frame" hahaha

[@M0oranshi]

'Well I can understand why they're upset, by not naming names Cawthorn has implicated the entire GOP, the guy with the orgies and the cocaine could be any Matt Gaetz' That was a chefs kiss cherry on top mint joke

[@jasonjimerson7046]

I had a gut feeling that Matt Gaets's name was going to pop up in the Cawthorn bit near the end.

[@gamepapa1211]

Matt Gaetz always pops out.

[@jcoopes5604]

FYI: it’s primary season, register and vote 🗳! We cannot let them get control! Let’s vote 🗳 those f@ckers out!

[@boheeka77]

Almost spit out my coffee at the spinach dip joke. 🤣

[@SanDeeBabii]

When I tell you I hollered and couldn’t stop laughing at your description of K McCarthy. Omg i haven’t laughed this hard in a while. This is why I watch you everyday. You can always make me LOL!

[@alvintexas5859]

Does not take much to make you laugh. Maybe you should try Larry the Cable Guy.

[@thunderousapplause]

I see what he did there so casually, “another feather in your map,” throwback to wheel of fortune failed answers.

[@tiki_trash]

I caught that too.

[@lynnegackstetter2779]

Loved that ending. Could be any Matt Gaetz😂😂😂

[@Raziel312]

Poisoning delegates in a peace talk is just cartoonishly evil. Who were the negotiators on the Russian side? Skeletor and Cobra Commander?

[@leslieholm9542]

The look on the face of Madison C. Buddy was 😂 classic!

[@IAmSuzyQ]

Matt Gaetz can have Hunter's laptop... I want Matt Gaetz's phone records and laptop, Jared Kushner's WhatsApp texts, Ivanka's emails, Donald Trump's tax returns, his unsecure phone calls, the translator's notes from Helsinki, and the fully unredacted Mueller report.

[@danusdragonfly6640]

100%

[@gamepapa1211]

And the most Matt Gaetz is going to get from Hunter's laptop is a big text document with the words "SIKE!" written in all caps.

[@studytoshowthyselfapprove8301]

To Suzy Q: Hunter's laptop is far more important, than all that worthless information you're requesting! NO ONE has proven that Trump committed a crime, but the MacBook's contents implicates Joe & his family. Hunter took money from the 3 countries than is involved with Joe's inaction. Look at his policies on Ukraine, Russia & China. It shows that he may be compromised, because of his son & the MacBook. The New York Times (3/16/22) verified the E-mails to be TRUE-along with the contents. Get your priorities straight; our Resident might get us into WW3 to avoid Federal prosecution. His son is STILL under Federal investigation.

[@philobetto5106]

if we were able to see the 1100 hrs of video the Feds confiscated then we could see if he has a phone like Hillary had

[@philobetto5106]

tell em to throw in Hillary's illegal server and 33k missing emails, and handwritten photocopied letter to a known Chinese spy Hunters business partner letting him know how to send Hunter's money to him but hunter tells the missing Chinese spy and Hunter Bidens business partner that 10% goes to the big guy on his laptop next to his crack-smoking orgy videos

[@dalpz205]

December 2018: "Technology - nobody knows more about technology than me." - trump March 2022: "I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge I have never even heard the term," - Same guy 🙄

[@gamepapa1211]

Coup-pa-Loompa once claimed he is the same person he was back when he's 5 years old. Of course he doesn't understand what object permanence was, let alone knowledge retainment.

[@shaymorcormick8743]

This is why his lawyers fought hard to keep him from testifying. All they would have to do is let the fecker talk uninterrupted

[@Echo81Rumple83]

@@gamepapa1211 no wonder why he's still an immature brat.

[@rblover2466]

@@gamepapa1211 Coup-pa-loompa 🤣🤣🤣 I hope you don’t mind if I borrow that from time to time!

[@nelsonclub7722]

Also he used the term burner phone 3 times in a lawsuit against his niece

[@grahamwarford5452]

Cooling his Wang in the dip..I nearly had a stroke.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@timefortinybirdandfriends6565]

One of his best! (Of many!)👍👏🏻🤣🤣

[@alishamurdock3796]

Mr. Colbert…you keep me sane…and happy‼️🤣😂🤣😂

[@crissprincess5595]

Yes !! ♥️

[@shermanculbertson6244]

Trump: “My gaps are the biggest gaps. My gaps are the best and most beautiful gaps anyone has ever seen”.

[@Me_G.]

In fact, it's the 'perfect gap' if you will.

[@faysitler1211]

Should have started most people don't know

[@lruddy8820]

Wtf does that mean ‘more likely then not’ that judge really got the most out of their time at law school

[@brianschlicher59]

Cadbury my enemies. Man these writers are amazing.

[@laalaa99stl]

Nixon: 18 minute gap T____: 7 hours 37 minutes I have the biggest gaps, OK? Many people are saying that.

[@dividedconquered3784]

😅🤣

[@jimbob3030]

If you take the biggest dumps you need the biggest gap, also helps when putin has you bent over.

[@DoctorProph3t]

A wide gap in his back channel. Now you’re picturing Drumpfs huge amorphous compacted ass

[@billmiller2051]

Tremendous gaps ! Everyone knows it !

[@Wildstar40]

Trumps biggest gap is the one between his ears.

[@eileennovak1656]

"You gotta be silly." President Joe Biden~~~ No truer, or more profound, words ever uttered by a person in Washington, DC.

[@xpsxps1339]

The most amazing thing was that dear Peter Doocy even didn't protest, probably in surprise that somebody, let alone that somebody was the president himself, called him silly publicly at the online conference. Great:-)! Thank you, Mr. President!

[@notthefather3919]

Yes. His approval rating reflects that.

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

​@@xpsxps1339 He was probably just relieved that Biden didn't call him a "stupid son of a bitch" like he did a couple of months ago.

[@xpsxps1339]

@@FakeSchrodingersCat Oh, well, you are probably right: I have forgotten that one, lol.

[@MulrySquare]

That guitar player is SO CUTE. He has a very decent, John Baptiste vibe. Nice to get to know band members a little better.

[@andreac3362]

Louis playing that guitar when Stephen put the thing off camera was excellent.

[@DedicatedSlaya]

As for the Peter Ducey situation, it would've been funny if the President said, "Can we get Will Smith over here right quick?!" 🤣🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

[@faysitler1211]

He's hiding his phone records because he's a crook and a criminal con man you go figure we all know it nobody's doing a damn thing about it what the hell

[@owenmersk4626]

Yeah it's a bad sign that George W Bush still isn't in jail, probably means right wing capitalist democrats still don't care about accountability for rich white people

[@alvintexas5859]

Why don't they do something about Hitlery and FJB and their crime families first.

[@richardkobasic178]

They're all getting rich off former oompaloompa in cheif's bull jive lies. More billionaires created in the las 5 years than ever before. America is in peril and next two election cycles will bear that out.

[@laskey2175]

"Why hasn't he called!? The Baconators are piling up!" 😆

[@gvc76]

This whole orgy bit was absolutely hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Songfugel]

Did that Fox reporter seriously think that question warranted an answer xD "Hello, I am obviously not working for the KGB, so would you kindly tell me the top secret military response, we can mlre accurately asses the risk/reward options and prepare sufficient countermeasures against it, thanks in advance komrade"

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly. Lol

[@sjbock]

KGB is now called the FSB (but most Americans don't know that name and wouldn't get the joke.)

[@heyheytaytay]

Russia: it wasn't a poisoning. It was a special medical operation.

[@jasons2023]

Trump: I didn't lose, I merely failed to win.

[@a_diamond]

Yep, and kidnapping is "surprise adoption"..

[@heyheytaytay]

@@a_diamond lmao

[@gamepapa1211]

@@a_diamond oh, hello fellow Last Week Tonight viewer!

[@dawnadriana1764]

Stephen Colbert is a National Treasure.

[@schrobro8964]

Sounds like that reporter is rooting for the other side. So very un American to want to ask questions of national security really raises my eyebrow where his loyalty is?

[@theonlycanadiangoose]

"All we are saying, is give peace a ch-AAAAAAGH! MY EYES!" John Lennon 2022 🤣🤣🤣

[@signingcharity]

This monologue is fantastic! Colbert knocked it out of the park.

[@alvintexas5859]

Not really.

[@locadisa]

On a roll Stephen!

[@mary-chiltonvanhees1201]

A feather in your hat! Hahaha! That was the best tv! Shocking and hilarious! Love that you reference Wheel of Fortune!

[@badasssalsa]

Wang in the spinach dip! That nearly killed me. That vision instantly held in my mind. Full color and it moved! I may never be the same.

[@TrevorNerva]

Hello from Singapore 🇸🇬 Release the records!

[@SeattleBurns]

Oh my GAAAAAWWWWW!!! This one was a coffee through the nose spewer! Thank you Late Show!

[@edwinagray4373]

Spinach dip joke, I can't unsee that. Classic 🤗

[@TheOGClassicMan]

The guilty hide and dodge...and deflect...

[@Wildstar40]

And get very upset when you expose them.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

And look up to folks that have “sexual get-togethers”..

[@ReadyFreddie5523]

@@Tonyhouse1168 Perhaps with under age young girls too aka Getz.

[@wanderlust3292]

And attack

[@thewhitewolf58]

7:00 i wouldnt be surprised if trump did half of his business from burner phone.

[@mariegarside8830]

Only half?

[@biloki3079]

Colbert is in top form. He is a national treasure.

[@jeanneratterman4174]

Can’t unsee what i heard you say. Stephen! Augh? 🚫Spinach dip!

[@MuhammadAhsan-hq2bc]

Gotta ❤️joe Biden and his folksy charm 😄

[@alvintexas5859]

You bet, how do you like that 5 buck a gallon gas and $6 a loaf bread. Ah, you probably live in mom's basement and you don't have to worry about inflation.

[@Ti5qu4ntum]

With everything going on lately around the world and at home. We might need group therapy as a planet. 😐

[@finncatwillhelm2457]

Bro I feel you.

[@BullShitThat]

not as a species, but as a planet!... Even the other animals are in need after all of this 😂

[@finncatwillhelm2457]

@@BullShitThat ok now I'm just imagining a walrus is psychedelic therapy tryna f**k the couch.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Mood, man. Mood.

[@amberandrews6842]

Seriously.

[@claudioenorfreitas5396]

Greatest monologue..

[@nicolebrown1927]

Stephen had me too weak when he played the John Lennon song!💙😆😂🤣🤣💙

[@danrion8839]

Russia if you are listening "can you provide 8 hours of Trump's missing phone calls from January 6th. You will be rewarded very well. As our DOJ is after shoplifters for stealing candy".

[@oldrrocr]

Can we arrest him NOW? Hillary isn't doing anything... she would make a great AG!

[@intuitionz1198]

,🤣🤣🤣👍♥️

[@nextplanb1899]

They are right under Hillary Clintons missing phone records.

[@70blue63]

He was probably on the phone with Putin getting further instructions on how to attack America

[@frpgplayer]

"Official review of Trump phone logs from January 6 finds record is complete" Per CNN Politics today. Story from CNN reverses CNN story 3 days ago

[@divineoblivion1]

I don't think I could introduce Kevin McCarthy the same way Colbert did with a straight face either

[@WalterPetrovic]

GREAT MONOLOGUE!!!!! Ok, you are back and hot with the jokes. WONDERFUL!!!!!

[@gpatrick52]

The spinach dip line caught me by surprise. I did a spit take and couldn’t stop laughing!!!!