Why Letting Go of a Narcissist Feels Impossible

Рет қаралды 9,747

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 128

@danielstanislawczyk9524 Ай бұрын

Wow. Thank you. I guess there is hope. When you get pushed down so far, it almost seems impossible to climb again. So many times I have been on this cycle and always look for the 1 comment, 1 action, 1 word of hope just dismissing the 100s of put downs, hateful words, disgusting actions. Today I realize that in order to heal and have a future I need to just end it. Don’t know why today is the day but I need to break from this cycle of abuse. Your videos have helped me immensely. Thank you

@MPR2007 2 ай бұрын

High and low, cortisol dan dopamine creates Traumatic moments inside yourself. Fight the narc inside yourself first by accept the reality and embrace the hurt and grief. Your pain will be lesser. Been in no contact almost a year , still trauma bonded but better everyday. Be strong👈👈👈

@audreyess 2 ай бұрын

My ex and I were long distance for 2 years. He told me one of the reasons he was moving to Atlanta was for me. Then I encouraged him and supported him getting a new house and car. Then after moving to Atl, he took me out to dinner, drove me home, watched tv with me and then broke up with me. He texted me for months. I never responded. He had a new girlfriend in about 8 weeks. I was devastated. But I started Pilates, lost 20 pounds and started therapy. So I’m healing!

@fruitypopwhickle6806 2 ай бұрын

You are a rockstar!!!👌🏾

@polyjb1 2 ай бұрын

Steph is so cute. And narcs suck. She has saved me, and I am 5 years after discard with 3 young kids. It is possible to heal!

@nordica1h1 2 ай бұрын

I am working on healing after my husband of 16 years left me 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere and I was devastated. Before he moved out he would ridicule my crying, telling me that I need to get over it, that I'm not the victim, and he seemed genuinely disgusted by my emotions. Even after him breaking up with me I was apologizing to HIM for things that happened in the relationship. It wasn't until he moved out and I had time to reflect and educate myself with channels like yours that I realized that the very things he was accusing me of were things HE was guilty of. I was just too 'in it' with rose colored glasses to realize all of the manipulation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the content you put out. You have slowly helped me get to a place where I feel like I can rebuild, which is amazing because I was in a very dark place. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

@Heartofgreen702 2 ай бұрын

Keep healing and growing hun. It's become apparent there's is so many of us going through this...... Focus and enjoy on your new chapter in finding yourself again ❤

@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr 20 күн бұрын

♥️Yes♥️they are good to to stimulate anger♥️I’m still his widow♥️I wonder if he wants to make it right♥️He♥️comes to my dreams,and I’m in bed and asked me dance ♥️and I get up and dance with him♥️like we used to♥️Wonderful sweet dreams♥️

@ericanavarro6951 2 ай бұрын

It’s so hard to grieve when we live together still, going through a Divorce currently after 27 yrs

@LAZY-pp2kh 2 ай бұрын

Yes it is. I am there too.

@MeredithBrown-xn3dr 2 ай бұрын

I understand. I’m in the same situation

@digitaldivvy 2 ай бұрын

She is being so nice after having an affair for several years. She wants love not divorces.

@JN24185 2 ай бұрын

God thats brutal. Take care of yourself. Lean on those who build you up and stay strong. This to shall pass.

@meganhulme2489 2 ай бұрын

My ex broke up with me over email. He’s 61 years old. It was after an incredibly stressful Christmas with his family. They treated me so badly. It was incredibly hurtful.

@BrianHornak 2 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry...

@meganhulme2489 2 ай бұрын

@@BrianHornak thank you. 🙏🏼

@BrianHornak 2 ай бұрын

@@meganhulme2489 ..Always..how are you doing at this point if I may ask?

@chris9527 2 ай бұрын

My eldest sister is on drugs my other sister has never spoke to me dads dead my mom is a narcissist. Bringing anyone to meet my family is a no go. I can’t be around people like that it will affect me negatively. I visited my exes family similar thing everyone was miserable. Couples need to do other things when family is toxic that energy you expend to toxic people will be needed sooner or later. The person giving out energy left and right is shooting themself in the foot relationships are hard and our bodies have no gas gauge so we spend energy unnecessarily in the meantime sabotaging ourselves because maybe we are traumatized and feel safe around energy vampires. Hurt people hurt people maybe unintentionally. At the end of the day it’s lack of knowledge. A good upbringing will give you an abundance of knowledge. / bad upbringing will cause you to self parent thus learning these lessons the hard way or at an untimely manor. I feel that these evil people know the damage they have caused so it is not unintentional it is our job to learn work hard and become better the lackadaisical outlook on self control is what ruins us all at the end.

@loogle 2 ай бұрын

Sounds to me like you’re better off without him and his family in your life. You deserve better ❤

@bdeezy2962 15 күн бұрын

I could have listened to you tslk for another three hours...so glad i found your channel, i need this right now 😢 you just have a way of talking that doesnt bore me, doesnt sound like dr talk ...as cheesy as this sounds ,its like a friend talking to a friend that has went through the same thing and KNOWS what the hell they're talking about. idk its comforting to me in a time where nothing is looking hopeful so thank you for doing what you do❤

@StephanieLynCoaching 15 күн бұрын

Girl that is honestly one of the best compliments because that is how I feel when I get on the phone with someone. It's exactly what I'd be saying to one of my friends of 15 years.

@roberttruman8444 2 ай бұрын

My ex used intermittent reinforcement (push & pull) for reasons unknown to me. I know that I became addicted to her as a result of this, and the really annoying thing is that she wasn't even all that great anyway. I hate the way she went about discarding me because she also tried to effectively erase significant parts of our 25 year relationship towards the end. The whole process of her slow fade discard was so messed up and even though I know she was not who I needed or really wanted, I am so obsessed with trying to make sense out of what the hell happened.

@elmaswanepoel1598 28 күн бұрын

You only have normality, be it human conversations, some understanding (probably faked), agreeing, sympathy, love and care, when you walked out and they try to make you stay, hoover you back. Every time you go back you get more enmeshed and it's much harder to leave. No one should live through this. It's been almost 3 years. This video helps SO much. Thank you 🙏🏻

@octavia7141 Ай бұрын

Thank you Stephanie for this message.

@victoriathomas7734 2 ай бұрын

Hi Stephanie, I appreciate your videos. They have been so helpful. I was wondering if you could do more videos on self-love and self-value. Thank you!

@PantaRhei-wz5zn 2 ай бұрын

Definition of an ex : *Someone you find attractive enough to try a relationship with / but have tried + tested and found to NOT work in a relationship* (So this is pretty much the one person you already know not to try a relationship with)

@BloodBladeRonin 2 ай бұрын

Girl let it out? Ima guy 😂

@live.life.secure.coaching 2 ай бұрын

Boy, let it out 😂

@sylviealexandris6696 2 ай бұрын

❤ I was with mine for 10 yrs, + 2 yrs of back and forth crap and now I’m 10 months complete no contact and it’s still hard. I still miss the person I thought he was, I miss the life I thought we had built. I had a dream about him last night, I’ve been feeling low for awhile, now I’m just sad all the time. Such torture. But I’m grateful for videos and the comments to help me understand what I’m dealing with ❤❤❤

@RC-eb5hq 2 ай бұрын

You R NOT alone ❤

@Bob-zh6dw 2 ай бұрын

Sylvie...I too was with a narcissist for 10 years, then off and on again for 2 years. She had three younger children from 2 previous marriages when we first got together. Her behavior didn't match her words and I knew something was wrong with her, but I had no knowledge of NPD at the time. I left her for the second and final time 5 years ago for cheating again. I first found out about NPD 1 year after I left her. She married the person she was cheating on me with only 4 months after I left her. He had just recently gotten divorced and was very vulnerable at the time. I dodged a bullet by not marrying her and have been in No Contact for 5 years now. I'm in a much better place now but still follow certain coaches talking about this subject and moving forward. You are not alone. We will learn from this and come out stronger and happier people at the end of our journey. God be with you.😊

@TrentReeves-c2k 2 ай бұрын

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

@GregMunro 2 ай бұрын

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

@TrentReeves-c2k 2 ай бұрын

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

@GregMunro 2 ай бұрын

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

@TrentReeves-c2k 2 ай бұрын

You wont regret it

@emilycarr2983 2 ай бұрын

I’m loving all the content about rebuilding your life! When I was in the thick of an abusive relationship, there was tons of content available on the internet to help me identify why my relationship was problematic (your videos in particular were really helpful). But since leaving the relationship two years ago, I’ve found it really tough to find anything about how to practically move on and rebuild my life.

@LolaAileenVanslette Ай бұрын

❤ Thank you. I feel you knew what I am going through. It's so hard, even when you are the one who finally had enough and ended it, to move on and heal. It takes time. I just need to grieve it all.

@StephanieLynCoaching Ай бұрын

Regardless of how the relationship ends to each his own, it’s difficult for everyone no matter their situation or circumstance. I will say, though regardless of the ins and outs of the relationship/break up it is very textbook. What all of us go through.

@ruyko6300 2 ай бұрын

The alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus. But this was not how the author of the book ended the story. He said that when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears. 'Why do you weep?' the goddesses asked. 'I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied. 'Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,' they said, 'for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.' 'But... was Narcissus beautiful?' the lake asked. 'Who better than you to know that?' the goddesses asked in wonder. 'After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!' The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said: 'I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.' In this story you are the lake. The last sentence stayed with me. The Narcissist in your life was mirroring your values, all your positive traits and your entire being so that you fall in love with him. The truth is that you didnt fall in love with the narcissist, but with yourself. Isn't it ironical that most empaths who fall for it, lack self love and give themselves up for other people, but somehow they fall in love to their own character traits, mirrored by another person? Think about it. There is literally no reason to not love yourself after this happened to you

@teilujnna 2 ай бұрын

this was very beautiful, thank you for sharing

@elmaswanepoel1598 28 күн бұрын

Thank you, so true

@krsmedley 2 ай бұрын

Why is this only addressed to women? Men fall for narcissists too.

@improbablya7 Ай бұрын

maybe thats her personal experience so its easier to talk about from that perspective?

@BrockBadowsky Ай бұрын

You have helped me so much in so many different ways, thank you so very much, the Rock

@StephanieLynCoaching Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for first off taking the time to even comment that 🥹 It literally warms my heart and I’m so incredibly grateful that I get to do this and if I can help anyone in any way shape or form that is the blessing. 🩷

@candyc6057 Ай бұрын

I was with my ex narc for 4 years, he pretty much was cheating on me from the start even on the day my mom passed away from covid. He blamed me for everything and women in general. Then I had a miscarriage and he left me alone when I was grieving the most he had new girlfriend everything but I started therapy, started healing gradually. Started going back to the gym and back to my old routine and let go of thevneed to have control because what I realized is that I couldn't control him nor the situation nor what he did to me but what I could control is myself and how I choose to move forward in my healing. You will never get closure from a narc because they were never who you thought. They are a figment of our imagination meaning once their done with you they make a new facade. Be thankful you got away and learned or learning "how to heal"

@NarcissistHex-nf9eq 2 ай бұрын

This is good info here, I should cover this on my channel but I have to think on this..I think I can just say as a self aware narcissist, hope is the biggest reason why people get so stuck..

@LindsayGrandberry 2 ай бұрын

Great knowledge!!!!! Thank-you!!!! xoxoo

@kalena26 2 ай бұрын

Great video, and thank you. Why do they punish you by keeping you hanging on? My ex did this. Is it that they get pleasure in watching you completely abandon yourself in order to try and stay relavent to them?

@glicmathan1771 4 күн бұрын

On a basic level, whenever a man and woman have a romantic, intimate, sexual life, there’s a sense of loss when it’s over. We might say that each person got “supply” from the other, but that sounds somewhat cheap and usary to me. We’ve all heard popular new agey lines like “only you can make you happy.” Though true in many respects, pleasuring oneself alone is not the same as great sex with a partner. We can make each other happy in ways that we can’t do for ourselves. A band of individually talented musicians can make a collective magic together that they can’t do alone. The sum is greater than the individual parts. I get a lot out of these videos and just wanted to share these thoughts. Thanks!

@philipmulvihill1455 2 ай бұрын

thank you 👍 the late legend John Bradshaw called it original pain work 💪 🤢🤮 this must be done first!!! it very unfortunately took me over 35 years of drug relapses fit's and starts etc etc before I was just able to sit down be still and finally feel it to heal it 😩 👏👏👌✌️

@PantaRhei-wz5zn 2 ай бұрын

Things always end for a Reason. Unless there is 1 single clear Reason why it didnt work, and that 1 reason is clearly resolved now : DO NOT RETRY ! The Reason is still there !!

@roberttruman8444 2 ай бұрын

With narcissists there is always a reason, and that reason is THEM. I worked hard to resolve to many so called issues that she observed as road blocks preventing our relationship could not progress beyond the 'early dating' stage. Had we not known each other from childhood I would have called out bullshit years ago.

@SohniaCampbell-vv9xj 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Stephanie for these videos. They have been a life saver and so eye opening for me. I cannot express how much. Trying to continue the grieving process and work on getting me back!

@ameliasavage4307 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for the video 😁

@deepaknambisan3251 2 ай бұрын

Fantastic video.

@mrpierce9591 Ай бұрын

❤ thank you. You are rad!!!

@StephanieLynCoaching Ай бұрын

You're so welcome! 💖

@cherylh1807 2 ай бұрын

🩷Thank you Stephanie! Always great videos!

@Healthandbeautycoach 2 ай бұрын

❤ You’ve helped me so much in the last year 😊

@mrwillwgp 2 ай бұрын

Its been 8 months since she left and 4/5 months since the divorce. She got married to new dude just two days after the divorce. I think about what happened daily. I'm not mad or upset. I knew something was wrong with her. Just didn't know what happened or why. I'm not here to understand or explain. But i feel like a switch was turned off inside me and i want nothing to do with her ever again. I dont want anything to do with women in an emotional way either. Im not broken. Im just done. Im happy living my own life with my kids.

@rachybooo 2 ай бұрын

Thank you, Stephanie. I really need this right now. 💜

@CharlesCooper-wu1kg 2 ай бұрын

Stephanie just made my Saturday awesome. Another chance to see this stunningly beautiful woman is a great day for me. She has me in therapy for all the right reasons. I’m smitten is all I can say.

@gayleneflower398 2 ай бұрын

He faded away, I don’t know if he was a narcissist. After five years of telling me we’re gonna be together, blah blah blah, and this was a long distance relationship, which I’ll never do again BTW, he started fading away, telling me very unspecific reasons why, it was super hurtful and then all intimacy stopped and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went no contact. Thank you, Stephanie, your videos are wonderful! I craved closure so bad and all she did was blame me when we finally did talk. Said I was anxious and jealous, how could I not be? He was a cheater! Can you talk about intuition in a video?

@winterashleygayle 2 ай бұрын

♥️♥️♥️ thank you Stephanie

@rustysoules8262 2 ай бұрын

I have accepted that i will love her in my heart forever, but i will never have a relationship or contact again. Hard but it's the best for both of us. Narc or non-Narc. Moving on and enjoying this earthly life to the fullest never to accept, bad behaviour from myself or anyone else. Growing into a grown-up is sure a wierd and hard process. Life your life to the fullest how you want it it to be, stay kind and friendly. Pure hearts take responsibility for there warmth and love.

@joyfincher510 2 ай бұрын

The grief is so overwhelming right now that I can’t barely function. And it’s been 12 years 3 husbands ago. How do I grieve effectively?

@BrianHornak 2 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry

@MPR2007 2 ай бұрын

Acceptance, embrace your hurt are the only options to heal. Work on yourself more, get productive routines Surround yourself with support system. Be strong ! fight the devil inside you is a must!

@JN24185 2 ай бұрын

I feel so deeply for you. Remember, you’re not alone. It WILL get better. Stay present, live in the moment, this to shall pass. Sending love.

@susananderson6882 2 ай бұрын

thank you sooo much for this video! 🙏 So what I needed to hear (and I will listen to this again!) 💜

@CS-iv8tk 2 ай бұрын

Well said 🙌🏻

@ceceb9082 2 ай бұрын

Still learning how to identify what emotions are is a thing...realizing you think ur still in it when they've never been in it...nauseating...trickster creatures they are...he isnt capable of anything he says. thank you Stephanie ❤ P.S.When you dont know why your sp stuck on things....ugh❤

@MyFaith2012 2 ай бұрын

well said, 100% thank you for sharing.

@jessicadunn1806 2 ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤ still here 😊

@naveedrehman2987 2 ай бұрын

Narcissists are usually “beautiful.” That’s why it’s hard to get over them.

@roberttruman8444 2 ай бұрын

How many narcissists have you been with? If it were just about looks I'd find it easier to let go.

@RippleDrop. 2 ай бұрын

You are talking about your own experience. This statement simply isn't universal.

@motowngirl5891 2 ай бұрын

It’s called the CYCLE of romance

@patriciacardenas9860 2 ай бұрын

Thank You Stephanie ❤❤❤❤ ❤❤❤❤

@amandandovela 2 ай бұрын

Facts!!!❤❤❤

@brittanybrown3586 2 ай бұрын

Feel like even after two years and divorce I still haven’t healed and gotten over it all 😢

@mixedchick2113 Ай бұрын

Stay strong❤

@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr 2 ай бұрын

Is so♥️SAD♥️LADYS IF A Narcissist gets on your way ♥️test♥️because in person is To Painful ,emotionally ,and physical♥️I Experience A week ago A Narcissist and I cried!

@MeineAC 2 ай бұрын

12 years here 😢!🤘🏼

@alexandrapana2492 2 ай бұрын

Amazing ❤

@IamCatharinemme 2 ай бұрын

Yea things didn’t get better

@janetsantangelo4189 2 ай бұрын

Getting out is hard because I don't have the money. I became a Paying Maid Roommate. No one in my life due to his Blame game. I've been blamed for everything. No Help He savatag my car and if I did not know mechanics I would have been burned to death, wheels loosened alternater unplugged, waterlines gas lines, oil lines.. For someone that is done with me every day, but blames me for things I know nothing about, steals, and thinks I owe him. Asked me to work then tells me I did not and keeps th e money. I AM DONE 6 F years. It's the people that said I'm here for you but don't know what a narcissist is. I AM DONE were is help with finding a home the money needed and a shoulder to cry on? I am very strong willed but robed out of transportation, money, and Physical hurt by him. Is their anyone out their? Out in the no were land at 63. People I want to go and have been trying for 5 1/2 years. And Quit saying JUST GO

@gingerrivas5354 2 ай бұрын

It didn't happen to me. I understood that he is just sick, another patient on earth

@avibhagan 2 ай бұрын

What ? Let the disrespect be the closure. Let the gaslighting be the closure. I have to co-parent. Which really trying to mitigate against counter-parenting . There is continuous incivility and continuous gaslighting. I have constant reminders of why I was an idiot to stay in a relationship with my ex for 18 years. My daughter is a wonderful result of my idiocy. I get solace in that.

@DebraBrown-x8r 2 ай бұрын

❤ Interested in speaking about …..

@amyjanegrogan6450 2 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@CobraAsset 2 ай бұрын

Heart

@DebDenham 2 ай бұрын

💓

@naveedrehman2987 Ай бұрын

Men get involved with toxic/narcissistic women

@flyincosmo9356 2 ай бұрын

🤍

@homewithbrendalee 2 ай бұрын

I cant stand his constant bitching about everything and I want him gone but he refuses to leave.

@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr 2 ай бұрын

In the 70s my husband ,and I went to A contractor home to talked about the architect planes . We walked in and he was A foster parent there was A beautiful little♥️ girl and was Following me ,and surprise me she jumped on my feet and hurt ♥️me♥️I wonder how she is doing ? The hold time I was there she was Hunting me to hurt me♥️For me A Narcissist acts like this little ♥️girl♥️

@Solamoro 2 ай бұрын

Is it weird if you’re a guy and you watch this channel?

@live.life.secure.coaching 2 ай бұрын

Nope 😊

@Edmond347 2 ай бұрын

Most of this is nonsense and completely wrong. I don’t question that she was in a narcissistic relationship, but she has no therapeutic knowledge. Both sides are supplies, addiction to toxic relationships. What a load of horse shit in the context of a narcissistic abuse. I actually feel offended. I left a healthy relationship for a narcissist not because I was “addicted” to toxicity, but because I was not. Healthy people are lured by narcissists who pretend to be the best thing under the Sun for you. She’s awful.

@MyFaith2012 2 ай бұрын

❤❤❤