Why Men Deeply Desire Women Who Do This (And It’s Not Sex)

[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
Work with Bern: bit.ly/speakwithbern
Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training

[@BernMendez]

[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz

[@NewYorkNadia]

I know why I’m single: 1. Most men are mediocre. 2. Mediocrity bores me. 3. I’d rather live an exciting life alone than a boring life with someone else 😂

[@BernMendez]

if the options are a guy you're not happy with or being single - be single but for most of us, an exciting partner is better than staying single. Not saying it's easy but it's doable. Ultimately you need to do what makes YOU happiest if that is being single, then all the power to you :)

[@jadexx1]

Sad way to view men

[@NewYorkNadia]

@@jadexx1 I’m in the wrong dating pool, clearly 😂

[@joanlacava6982]

Mediocre in your opinion.

[@NewYorkNadia]

@@joanlacava6982 Correct. And concerning my personal life, that’s the only opinion that matters.

[@fedup745]

All this is too complicated. I'm getting a puppy.

[@BernMendez]

🐶 ; )

[@ginagreeneofficial]

😂💯

[@jojodyan]

I have the best dog in the world! Loves me unconditionally!!

[@jennifercoulter574]

Labradors are my soulmates

[@beverlyvamvas8490]

😅you made me so laugh so hard when I read your reply. That is the last thing I felt like doing,and you helped me to stop taking it all so seriously.

[@FreeSpirit47]

In 2012 I stopped dating at all. Since then, life became easier, happier, more peaceful, more prosperous. Some advice I was given before I left the dating world was that it's fine to be a strong woman, just don't be stronger than the guy. The single & celibate life is the happiest way to live. It's not for everyone, it definitely works for me.

[@aaalive9122]

L

[@triciacherise8084]

Same. So peaceful

[@BernMendez]

Whatever works best for you is what you need to do.

[@Cherry_picked00]

​@@aaalive9122 definitely a stupid gen-z would say 😂

[@gorettyrogers7109]

Same in 2014, .although it was after a 30 year marriage...so I wasn't dating...but I don't really have the interest to "date" at the moment. At 62 I'm hiding at home caring for an elderly parent.

[@marieoliphant8305]

One of the biggest misconception is that all women want a relationship. I haven’t dated or been even remotely interested in dating in years. I’ve never been happier, legitimately. I live my entire life on my own terms. My dogs are my besties. Kids are grown and thriving. I’m financially independent. Rely on no one but myself for my happiness. Best years of my life!

[@BernMendez]

No one said ALL women want relationships ; )

[@nakiabrown3395]

❤

[@embededfabrication4482]

Nonsense, everybody wants a relationship, humans are social animals.

[@deborahcampbell7329]

Same❤

[@jessicasmith6470]

Me too. Have my own house, independent, dogs, do as I like, most men are jerks, worst one are in your church.

[@gusmonster59]

As a female, I can say I have dated male model types and found them mostly shallow and all about looks and not substance. I have been much happier dating 'ugly' men and having people in my life who are interesting and have substance. Now, at 64, I am single and do not date. The men I have found in my age range are still looking for the 1950's type woman. I am not someone's cook and maid. I do not, and will not hide, my intelligence, I will not pretend to hang on his every word. If I can accept someone as they are, they can do the same for me. If someone isn't willing to a PARTNER, I'd rather be single. And yes, at this stage in my life, I feel another relationship isn't in the cards for me. And I am okay with that.

[@gracealderson3676]

Wow!! Absolutely spot on!! Xxx

[@gracealderson3676]

WOW!! ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON!! Xxx

[@Roqjoru]

Look at personality types. Turned down modeling. Sigma

[@sharong8908]

Good on you girl, ❤

[@judithocasio2926]

FIRST you stated you would rather date UGLY man, no one is ugly they are different.

[@blahblah1438]

This is so true I was single for six years. There was no one that interested me and I thought I was done. Now I’m 54 and I sat and I thought about a man who is loving and kind and who would truly love me and within two months, I have found that man and it is wonderful and the friendship was first and it organically grew, and then the physical came and it is the most special physical connection I’ve ever had at this age, I agree with everything that’s being said you have to know your own light embrace your imperfections men are deeper than you think

[@tinafrick3331]

I’m sure there are a few who are deeper… but they are like unicorns..I’ve never found one😊

[@manuelasantner5519]

Thanks, I am a psychologist and so fed up with the bulls*** many women are fed from dating coaches. Most of this stuff just dimms their light even further or makes them more insecure. This is finally something I would tell a client in my office too.

[@dawnstonerock4253]

I so agree about the dating coaches. Stopped listening to most of them

[@christinaaguila8414]

😅 5:44 😅😊😅,😅,

[@fairedepeche]

A lot of single women don't want a relationship with a man. They don't hate men. They are not bored with life, and they are genuinely happy. I have known many married women who love their husbands, but they will wistfully share their desire for more freedom like a single woman in the sense of making choices, goals, and being able to express their opinions without a constant running dialog of trying to convince their husbands or get his permission.

[@LightsOn128]

I was single After 13 years of marriage I found myself divorced with two children. I was a teenager when I married and was loving my new found freedom and had zero desire to ever marry again. My friend was also divorced and she desperately wanted nothing more than to be married again. When we would go up together all the men would come onto me and wanted nothing to do with her. I had 6 marriage proposals in one year. After 5 years of being single I met my now husband. I told him I would only date him if he never mentioned the L word or the M word. Over the next two years of dating he became my best friend and I grew to deeply love him. we just celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary. My advice is be with someone because you want to not because you NEEd to. Respect your self, honor your feelings and don’t take action just because your friends or family think you should be true to yourself. I once heard a talk where the speaker said write down everything you want in a partner. Make a very detailed list including every little thing. Then BECOME that person. Like attracts like. Love yourself first then and only then can you truly love another. 💕

[@BernMendez]

Congratulations on your relationship milestone and thank you for sharing : )

[@coolbeans6895]

Thank you! Finally a video that addresses women who struggle to get a date! I’m 29 always single and really needed to hear this. It’s always so easy for me to think I’m just ugly, but this helped me think a little differently

[@denisesmith8657]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve actually told myself “it’s not in the cards for me.” After being overlooked, passed over and rejected it’s hard to believe there’s a man out there for me.

[@Ashtarot77]

I've given up looking for guys my own age. I have two younger men interested in me at this stage. I'm not exactly hot but I guess my child-like mannerisms appeal to them. I can be fun and playful and also serious about things.

[@gusmonster59]

From an 'old' lady' - Learn to be happy alone. Not because you will be alone, but because once you are happy on your own, you have more confidence and that shows. Be who you are and never try to fit into someone else's mold. If the other person can't deal with who you are, then they ought not be a major part of your life. Don't try to 'get a date'. Go places and perhaps join a group where you will simply meet people and let the rest happen.

[@denisesmith8657]

@@gusmonster59 best advice I’ve read in a long time.

[@patriciaque197]

​@@gusmonster59💯😊👍

[@anne4002]

I think there's ONE single rule unfortunately: Be beautiful! When i was beautiful young and skinny there was NO man that I couldn't attract and i wasn't even confident. I used to enter a room, walk on the street and all eyes were on me. Now with 10 years plus and 30KG plus, nobody looks at me, but i am the exact same person, even better i could say 🤷😭

[@BernMendez]

Perhaps there's an invitation to redefine what "Being beautiful" means. There are plenty of women "plus size" who get great attention from men throughout their life...

[@frankG335]

Truth. When you're 60, the men want and get sex immediately and got for women 20 years younger.

[@tatie7604]

There are more women than men in this world. The numbers are against you. Old men don't bathe much and they stink. A shower doesn't do it. You have to shower and bathe. You could get an older man but it won't be about sex.

[@tatie7604]

​@BernMendez It's very rare that a man with anything much to offer wants a fat woman. Unless she is wealthy. Food is maybe what they want. Which is ok.

[@anne4002]

@@BernMendez now depends what kind of men we are talking about...i am not content to being chosen from the last options, i am the one who choses! But as a fat woman there is nothing to choose from anymore, you have one, maybe two options and those are...not quite quality men...this is the world we live in.

[@researchclue2020]

I agree with Bernardo - confidence is attractive…

[@BernMendez]

Thank you!

[@tatie7604]

Yes, but that alone won't do it.

[@Xana_K]

I think all of these can be applied to both genders. But they're spot on. I've naturally always done these things (except the confidence part) and never had trouble with people being interested in me. What I have had trouble with is choosing suitable, nice, genuine men. I always ended up with the assholes. BUT I changed that a few years ago and finally found a good guy. We're now married. And all these things we both do naturally within our marriage, it's definitely true ❤

[@Mymoon_laaaaaaaaaadiiieeesss]

Same here

[@NewYorkNadia]

“Don’t look for the firecracker, look for the fireplace.” It sounds so cozy on paper until you have sex with a man you’re not physically attracted to. A man can be a wonderful partner in every other way, but if genuine attraction isn’t there, you’ll always feel like something is missing.

[@enkhzayazundui1063]

Exactly. Why they talk about woman all the time and our age or aging.

[@isabellatremper2787]

Ok while I agree with what your saying and had a friend who at best was average and plain as she described herself NEVER TO BE WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND OR ADMIRER. But a few years back I went on a diet and last about 15 lbs.All of a sudden I was followed in supermarkets, doors opened for me and glistening eyes would catch my gaze. I did not dress provocatively or change my style. I am considered attractive but no great beauty. We all know where we stand right?? IN AMERICA ALL MEN WANT A SIZE 3 woman. It’s very very sad. Men from other cultures can and will accept woman of different shapes and sizes. I’ve worked in the beauty industry for many years and saw this type of branding over and over again. Tnx for your content

[@nadineelizabeth195]

theres too many women trying to seduce men thinking it leads to love it couldnt be further from that it leads to the opposite

[@dsstudio76]

100% correct

[@queenj.8i895]

Thx! Needed this reminder you spoke of the last few minutes. 🌹 God bless! ✨

[@BernMendez]

You are so welcome.

[@tamsparris-bah8283]

This advice works for all relationships, tbh. Especially friendships

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for sharing.

[@misss827]

Do you have a whole video about the last part? Celebrating the uniqueness of you/me? You are a great motivator😊

[@BernMendez]

Yes, This video might help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rpCui4Wopr2srsk

[@Roqjoru]

Finally someone, you, that talks my language as I express all these views in edu women that their fathers, grabdfathers and uncles have failed them.

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for your kind words.

[@riabeevlogs3360]

I am single because I love my singlehood n I want to remain single and I make it completely clear to all the men... how about that?

[@cletusthemysterious]

If you love your singlehood why are you watching a video about how to attract men?

[@mayahabchi4127]

Thank you so so much Bernardo, i appreciate your advice ❤

[@BernMendez]

My pleasure!

[@sarahs413]

Trust issues from the past to heal from for me even though I would LOVE to be in a relationship with someone amazing for both the man and myself! I can see what I need to do differently! Thanks so much, Bernardo!

[@PaigeNewberry]

IS THERE A WAY TO MEET MEN WITHOUT USING APPS? The apps are simply horrifying. The last thing I wanna do is go on a bunch of blind dates with Mr.Wrong for months on end. Yuck. Men don’t seem to understand that these dates are “blind dates”. Men on dating apps seem to want to get to “the face-to-face date” as quickly as possible. I don’t feel comfortable with that. Where can I meet men organically? Come on… Give us your your best best! (not church). Thanks!

[@dianakidd4219]

Go to church. Good place to meet people

[@marianelaballerina2295]

Thank you, Bern. Could you make a video focusing on how to inspire a man to be open, how to create that dance of dialogue?

[@BernMendez]

Great suggestion and thank you for watching.

[@liddomonkey6445]

Don’t bother. Don’t try to squeeze blood from an orange. Don’t try to change someone and definitely don’t try to make someone want to get to know you who doesn’t care. Save your time. Find someone you don’t have to manipulate to be interested in you.

[@marianelaballerina2295]

@@liddomonkey6445 I mean how to create dialogue when my own talent for it has been greatly diminished by not being responded to for years. I don't mean dialogue with a specific person. I mean the rebirth of the ability to dialogue

[@ileniepowell]

Great content, was worth my time listening. I agree and thank you❤

[@BernMendez]

Glad you enjoyed it. My pleasure : )

[@vitalitymindbodymedicine2993]

I needed to hear this! Thank you so much for sharing your insights!

[@BernMendez]

You are so welcome

[@alaalfa8839]

Right people let the other person realize what their heart tells them who they like most. usually with spiritual connection not just physical connection.

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for watching : )

[@NewYorkNadia]

Yes, but the sex act is physical. Without physical attraction there can’t be a true connection. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@mariab.gonzalez6130]

I liked the way you talk and what you said at the end of being authentic.

[@BernMendez]

Glad you found this useful, Maria : )

[@em945]

This is really helpful! Thank you for your efforts. Probably applies to all relationships. Hope this gets lots of views.

[@BernMendez]

You’re so welcome.

[@liivikasaarman995]

When I was modeling - younger, prettier and slimmer - tons of attention everywhere. Most of this attention came for plain biological reasons and ignored my personality. I grew sad and lonely inside. I had confidence and character though and always liked deep conversations. Also liked poetry, sex and an unknown. But men were mostly very predictable and basic. Few have such intelligence and depth that amazed me. Beauty draws attention. But what kind? Beauty can even scare the guys who actually like the deeper content and they can be thankful and happy to find some originality, thoughts and character behind the pretty image. But now, being older and overweight, I still draw attention with my inner magic and now the body is less distracting, now I'm mostly contacting the right people who have many qualities. It is less like dating though, more great friendships. Females can also be friendzoned and that's fair, honest and less distracting. Looking back I see a lot confusion and inner sadness. I understand how some iconic people were lonely and thinking about ending their lives. I didn't attempt though. It just felt like almost no one is my kind. I don't belong here. But appreciate the life. As a poet and natural born thinker, also designer for ten years and model for a while - of course I expressed myself... It made me happier and was appreciated. Almost felt like I can sell a lot, easily, people grab it from my hands whenever I'm willing to create and sell. Can't say that I did hide me... I'm just rarely impressed and I have that much character, that some great minds feel good with me and some very masculine and confidently relaxed men. They have balls to be with me. Also men with great intelligence, bright soul and unique life experience. They feel safe and enjoy time with me. With some others I can happily be a friend and they can be whatever they authentically are I'm okay with many flaws and very friendly person actually. We are just no match and both feeling so but being a friend, even close friends is fine, actually awesome life experience too. Bern Mendez, you should actually rise the topic of friendship that is very important side of love and tell that people who are openly unique have great chance to find stong, lasting friendship and followers, admirers, every kind, but when physical attractiveness is missing, then... well... it might be desire, even worshipping but without romance. Would you personally sleep with an old overweight lady because her soul is so tempting? (:

[@user-bi4hf6vq1d]

Change your mind set "overweight" for some may be curvy and sensual to another! Women especially former models can be plagued by body dysmorphic disorder. To each their own, but surveys show Women think they should be a "size 5-6 or 8 when Men prefer 12-16! Of course remember culture can sway preferences, but everyone is individual and have their individual preferences! So Love your self at what ever size you are!! Look at Peirce Brosnan and his wife. 😁

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for sharing.

[@mattanderson6672]

Thanks guys!!

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome.

[@dawnstonerock4253]

All of these are so very good!! ❤

[@BernMendez]

Thank you.

[@therealpancakegirl777]

so glad i watched this… logical n positive

[@8898super]

omg you are so wise! (and correct! thanks for your wisdom and insight)

[@alaalfa8839]

If he asks you only about physical appearance.....and ignores emotional and spiritual wisdom, then the relationship can be one-sided. BUt some people can be spiritually smart but not emotionally.

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for watching.

[@dsstudio76]

So true! I've met somebody like this, smart spiritually but not emotionally. Still stuck on his bad memories from a toxic marriage that only lasted one year and it had finished 5 years ago. 😳

[@reemsaif3105]

Men fall in love emotionally, if it's not connecting from the heart then it's not the one you're after ❤️

[@kabsatdajaj]

In fact, the prettiest girls I know are separated or divorced or cheated on.

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for watching : )

[@soullessnight6539]

That is why a lot of pretty girls are taken in their late teens or early twenties. When you are pretty it so so much harder to know a man’s true intentions. That is why I think pretty people can be more faithful. I know it sounds crazy but if you choose the person who is pretty and you know they have only ever had a couple of sexual partners or less then it shows they have integrity. A person who hasn’t ever had options to have multiple partners has never been tested. Not sleeping around bc you have never had the options to do so, in my experience will be unfaithful bc they 😊can’t so no… when will the option every present itself again if ever.

[@NewYorkNadia]

So are the less attractive ones, luv.

[@elanaseger2868]

Great morning cup of “Joe” …, thanks for that great laugh!😂❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Any time!

[@sterntaler64]

Thank you! ☺️🙏

[@mjkbwegschwenger7656]

This is also excellent advice for married women who want to re-light that fire 🔥 in their marriage!!!

[@BernMendez]

Glad you found this useful.

[@mjkbwegschwenger7656]

I did. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong in my marriage. My husband, almost 62 and myself, almost 58 without children have lots of time to be playful if we want to be. And for over 10 years he has been completely uninterested by me. And when I do try climbing into his lap, whatever hour it may be, he laughs and I feel him pushing me away.. So I just stand up and walk away. I don't know what else to do. And he's certainly not asking me to stay. I can still wear his favorite Calvin Klein jeans he loves that I wore when we first met in the summer of 2000! How do I make my man fall back into my arms and want to be there???

[@topkat8268]

​@@mjkbwegschwenger7656this is easy. The man is totally bored with you. Find something new & interesting to do & maybe he will get interested.

[@tmjewel]

Your husband should be the one searching KZbin for tips, not you, that's his onus! When you are able and willing to climb into another, better man's lap he wouldn't be laughing then... Your job is to focus on YOU and your happiness. I suggest you search "sheraseven" for her advice. Best wishes to you xx

[@marshafarquharson3816]

Thanks much 😊

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome 😊

[@jessicawalker8564]

A beautiful healthy garden is good for all

[@BernMendez]

Yes it is.

[@jayc326]

Great advice

[@BernMendez]

Thank you!

[@raedorin979]

Seems like a lot of this is good advice for both men and women. Personally i love my catholic faith and praying and enjoying the love of Christ made all this possible for me as woman. i met and married my husband knowing how much i loved and respected him without needing him to fill in my every single need because i have the love of Christ and my catholic religion to give me so much already. It allows me to enjoy and appreciate my husband and our 5 children without worrying about all the little flaws we have and just be happy and grateful.

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for watching!

[@CeciledeLuire]

thank you 💛

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome 😊

[@mariabanholzer5960]

Thank you! Send you much Love! I am 73.... what advice do you give me ?

[@BernMendez]

Don't give up : )

[@DawnClark-mt5oq]

Focus on yourself and get the man or woman god wants for you not the world. All this advice is wordly and you attracting wordly people just pray and wait

[@sashal.n9454]

They ignite♡ 🎉inner fire, more inspiring & connected❤

[@adriannehubbard3452]

1. Glass is half empty mentality 2. Self ignited-dont require others to acknowledge or validate their worth/self esteem 3. Love their body-accept physical flaws don’t dwell on them. 4.inspire openness-be present non-judgement-emotional safe space. 5. Will not budge on standards/boundaries.

[@eliezerreyes3147]

Great info. As a side note, I believe the saying goes, "It's not in the cards," as in tarot cards, aka their future. I bring it up because sayings can be context sensitive, and the meaning may change based on how it's said/spelled

[@BernMendez]

Thank you so much : )

[@rosariodeleon541]

Thanks

[@mattanderson6672]

Thank you

[@BernMendez]

You're welcome.

[@audreyhogenboom915]

Even with all that it's still difficult to find a compatible guy if you live in a country with 600.000 people where 90% hasn't had higher education and you have. Whose world is confined to this small country when you've lived on different continents and experienced lots of different cultures etc. Plus I'm 50; the higher educated well rounded men who are available have probably been married to a friend or acquaintance of mine🙈 That's life in a small society!

[@BernMendez]

I'm sorry your challenge isn't small and yet I invite you to ask the question:"How can I get what I want despite these challenges?" it might take longer but it's still possible. : )

[@louisetaylor6952]

Audrey, your computer can make your world a big place...lots of people make friends that way and also find love...just go so slow and check everyone out...preditors are everywhere but so are nice people...I wish you the best

[@megan2478]

Also, a man without higher education shouldn't be counted out. Education alone does not make a man a quality man. My husband didn't have a degree but was insanely well read. He just took a different path in life than through college. I have my MBA, and I still felt intellectually humbled next to him (nothing he did, he was just so intelligent). He could make me laugh easily and talk for hours on any topic. He passed away in March from cancer. My life is richer for having known, and been loved by, him...and poorer now that he is gone. 😢

[@BunnyRabit-yo3lx]

@@megan2478 Your relationship sounded very special. Sorry for your loss.

[@Nightskyvibes1]

@@megan2478❤

[@hippydippytrippy9804]

Thanks Bern! Awesome, useful, insightful, yes Sir!

[@RCRyan76]

I have been married for 16 years and i met others by being myself. This is interesting as i think about how o think about remaining my best self for me and him.

[@Olga8888]

That is very true and valuable. That is about roots, and not just about leaves :) Thank you ❤

[@BernMendez]

Beautifully said, Olga. Thanks for watching : )

[@NewYorkNadia]

It’s not “just about leaves” but leaves provide food for the tree (photosynthesis). A tree without leaves (a relationship without physical attraction) can’t survive long.

[@Olga8888]

Of course leaves are important. However, if a tree loses its leaves, it will survive, but if it loses its roots, it won't. Long lasting good relationships won't survive without "roots", but they can survive without "leaves", for example, when people are in their 60-70s etc.​@@NewYorkNadia

[@Olga8888]

@@NewYorkNadia so, in your 60-70s you are done, as your "leaves" won't be as beautiful as in your 20-30s.

[@NewYorkNadia]

@@Olga8888 A young man can be unattractive and an older man can be very attractive. For example, Richard Gere is a very attractive man imo, no matter how old he is. I don’t think age is the reason why people are unattractive.

[@vipin6986]

Oh, dear Lord! Ladies, if you are single and super, extremely happy with your decision, and you are super smart and independent, you don't need anyone, let alone a man; it has been your decision, you want to be, you love yourself, "what about that" attitude and blah blah blah, move to another video! These women who come and comment like they are superheroes because they decided to be single just read like they are bitter, and actually, deep inside, they appear to be zero happy with their decision. If I were extremely happy with being single, I wouldn't be bothered to spend 11 minutes of my life on this type of video or comment on how happy I am being single. It doesn't make sense! They sound like they got triggered by the video content. Therapy anyone??

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for your care and for sharing your voice. Hope this was helpful : )

[@kathycater1976]

Definitely need therapy. Nothing wrong with that I’m gain.❤

[@Carolina-dq4ce]

I agree!!

[@BernMendez]

Thank you.

[@MyfamilyHere-tm8il]

Why is it always about men and how to benefit them as women so that they like us and want us? I've been reflecting on the media content that often seems to prioritize discussions around men's preferences and expectations, rather than focusing on empowering women to embrace their own desires and aspirations. It can be disheartening to see so many resources dedicated to advising women on how to cater to men's interests, rather than encouraging self-fulfillment and authenticity. I believe that mutual respect and reciprocity should be the foundation of any relationship, and it's essential that both parties feel valued and understood. Let's shift the narrative to celebrate individuality and genuine connections, rather than perpetuating stereotypes and pressures. We deserve to be appreciated for who we are, not for conforming to outdated ideals.

[@BernMendez]

I have to ask… Did you even watch this video? Sounds like you wrote this comment without the context of what I’m sharing here. You’re obviously free to believe that this is about stereotypes and asking women to “cater to men” when it’s the opposite of that. I understand how it might appear that way but if you stop and listen perhaps you’ll find a different perspective that might even help you. 🙏

[@nabihayousuf]

The 4th point is so important

[@BernMendez]

Thank you : )

[@rebeccabrady3602]

I am definitely one of those people who hides their weirdness but that is 90% of who I am. So when I am around people I am not comfortable around, I am very quiet trying not to be weird. It makes a lot of sense that the guys I would be a good match for would think I am boring. I think I need to try and be myself more and risk the odd looks I might get from people that I am not a good fit for. But of course that is easier said here in my house than done out in the wild.

[@BernMendez]

Rebecca, you can do this and I'm proud of you for owning your "weird" yet unique side! : )

[@jjjackson5183]

Someone will be enchanted with your weirdness. But happily single is so much better than unhappily married! So, if you do find him, great! If you don't, still be you.

[@louisetaylor6952]

Rebecca, what you call weird, others will call unique, charming, fanciful, interesting, cool, and above all honest...how about giving us a chance to know the real you who is definitely not boring...

[@rebeccabrady3602]

@@louisetaylor6952 thank you so much for your sweet words.

[@rebeccabrady3602]

@@jjjackson5183 that is very true. I would rather make sure I fund the right one. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

[@elanaseger2868]

LOL 😂❤❤❤ Yes - I m the LIVE one in the house!

[@BernMendez]

:)

[@elanaseger2868]

Stand in your Powerladies!❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Stand tall with kindness

[@myrnarutkowski8961]

Yes! ❤😂

[@BernMendez]

Thank you!

[@makeupminx6103]

Confidence is attractive. And to have confidence, you need to be attractive. ?!?!?!? I’m fucked.

[@BernMendez]

No, to have confidence you need to focus on your strengths and do what makes you feel most alive, being attractive is a bi-product of many factors only a few of which have do with your physical DNA. A lot of it has to do with your energy, your confidence, your radiance, your openness, your ability to hold space for others.

[@NewYorkNadia]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Yadine369]

💯🎯GreatFULL🎯💯

[@KB-sg7tv]

I just never even meet or find people I like or am attracted to.

[@BernMendez]

Watch a few more of my videos I share many ways to get out of this blind spot :)

[@danielapolo7346]

5:54 I like that you mentioned gaining weight

[@BernMendez]

Glad you found this helpful Daniela : )

[@OhioGalReads]

Where to meet single guys. That's the main problem.

[@BernMendez]

This can help: kzbin.infowdN7TQk-jiM

[@lilianjessy4806]

Co ask

[@DizzyRock09]

Ugh tell me about it , I have had bad luck attracting men that are already in relationships and trying to step out of the relationship & they lie and try to pretend they’re single. It gets me so upset. I’ve caught 3 men just this last year that I caught in lies. I had one guys gf call me and tell me she found lost of womens’numbers on her bf’s phone . 😑 I’ve just been taking things super slow wit anyone I meet & soon after I find the truth of what o need to see and know . I feel exhausted when it comes to dating . I’m at a point where I’m just doing me and if I meet someone cool and if I don’t that’s okay too .

[@dancingrl7350]

Depends on what kind of guy you want to meet. The hardware store is a good choice, if you want someone who's handy. FULL of guys, not a woman in sight (except little ol' you). Take up golf, join a hiking group, shop for grilling accessories. Go wherever those you are interested in are. Speak. Ask for their help with information-type questions (genuine ones only -- never play dumb). If you're short, ask a tall one to reach something for you on the top shelf at the grocery. The possibilities are endless.

[@tracyyvon777]

Perfect

[@BernMendez]

Thahk you for watching.

[@cloudslady3400]

As someone who used to be brain washed by the media…knowing that sex isn’t enough for a guy…was sooooo shocking it felt unreal….what else could you want.?.?.?….I believe it was simpler back then even if it was disgusting but at least I thought it was practical…now I have no clue on how to make a guy happy enough stock in confusion ..i don’t think anything is the answer…so better stay single

[@BernMendez]

Here's the thing, staying single is better than being in a toxic relationship, but for most of us being in a fulfilling relationship feels better than staying single. I hope you continue exploring possibilities and that if you decide you want a relationship that you take the steps to 1) lower the chances of more pain 2) Increase the likelihood of attracting what you want. I have hundreds of free videos on this channel that might help.

[@lex28lush10]

All is well in thus videos.. I appreciated that... but some of them perhaps rather abstract ..

[@karinhare2271]

Lol haha I am me. I love myself and who I am. I don't have any desire to be someone else. I'm a happy single becos quite frankly I love my independence. I am single becos I love been happy and content every day of my life. 😂 If the right man comes along, he will love me for who I am and what I stand for in life.

[@BernMendez]

👍

[@nancy46253]

Can you be specific about where the link is? Maybe I can't bring it up bc I'm on an Ipad.

[@urstrulypalmer83]

40 years old been married for 20 years.. have 4 kids. COMPROMISE, TALK ABOUT THE END GAME. If you’re working or have different dreams it WILL FALL APART. BETTER TO WORK ON THE SAME GOALS.

[@Victoria-19497]

Just pray for the right one I pray for my husband he passed away three years ago. He was a good man.

[@sashal.n9454]

I love this♡🎉❤ its true

[@biancaluedeker]

The best dating advice I have for women is to main Cage in MK.

[@LOwens-xf8yo]

I can’t imagine anything I needed less in my life, then more attention for men At best I’m six. But my teens & 20s, hundreds of guys of all ages hit me

[@anandanabila8439]

I am 40 years old I become the best version of me

[@WholePlantChef]

How to attract men Step 1: be attractive

[@denisesmith8657]

What’s your definition of attractive?

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

DESIRED DIES NOT MEAN RESPECTED , VALUED OR EVEN LOVED .

[@BernMendez]

I'm not sure what you mean but hope this video was helpful : )

[@user-bi4hf6vq1d]

For someone who thinks they are "over weight" it may be curvy and sensual to another! Women especially former models may be plagued by body dysmorphic disorder. To each their own, but surveys show Women think they should be a "size 5-6 or 8 when Men prefer 12-16. Of course remember that culture can sway this, but everyone is individual and have individual preferences! So Love your self at what ever size you are!! Look at Peirce Brosnan and his wife. 😁

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for sharing and I agree : )

[@denisesmith8657]

I have to disagree. I’m a size 16 and do not get attention. I constantly see men giving slimmer women attention. They definitely do not want a size 16. They’ve always been about appearance bc men are very visual and a lot of them want the beauty that’ll make them look better so they can gain envy from other men. This is my experience and what I’ve noticed.

[@user-bi4hf6vq1d]

A study of 2,000 men on a social media dating site found that one eye colour and dress size were the most attractive. The study was compiled on the site, Badoo, which has more than 330 million members in 190 countries asked the men a few questions about their preferences.When it came to size, the men were asked which dress size they preferred in women, here the results were unanimous. The majority of the men (nearly 86% of them) preferred a woman with a dress size 14 to 16.Only 10% said they prefer women between the size 8 and 10, and 4.2% of them said they prefer women sizes 20 or over. Keep Positive and catch the eye of the right guy! 😉

[@elanaseger2868]

Doing a Dove commercial now 😂❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Haha

[@elanaseger2868]

Just do YOU ❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Yes and be the best version of you whenever possible.

[@s.lawrence9765]

I think after watching this video ... which was great btw... I am def dead inside and just do not care to date .... triple confirmed.

[@iwtbf48]

Wow. I am one of those people (non binary but female sex). Feels like I just got some answers to how to get less attention also, which is actually really helpful. Thank you.

[@hermela4279]

❤

[@BernMendez]

Thanks for watching!

[@michaelleeannspringer3247]

Sometimes, people need to stop being attracted to those who attract them, especially when they end up with disasters. Do you follow my drift? lol

[@BernMendez]

Haha, Yes sometimes strong initial attraction isn't a good signs.

[@anandanabila8439]

❤❤❤

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for watching :)

[@tonifoster7095]

I’m happier being single.

[@BernMendez]

👍

[@Iamam313]

I don't think this applies to reality

[@vivhiggins5656]

If a man loves you he,will love you fore who,you'r,and know one tell's when a teen dont marry young,and do what you,r good at has we all have different gift's,and and educat you'r self,there is a woman out there who,is millioner has,i told her too go,too collage,true,

[@BernMendez]

Hope this was useful.

[@thevcountdown9824]

What they do differently? They are hot. I know soooo many hot women with horrible characters, who have the best men out there. It's all about looks sadly,

[@BernMendez]

I don't agree with your statement. "THE BEST MEN" never stand long-term for horrible characters...

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

What if you the 3 together ? 😊❤ 2:55

[@gracejoyner1416]

I heard men look for women who can take care of them 😅

[@BernMendez]

Hi Grace, some men do look for that and let's be honest some women do that too, but the key is having clarity on two fronts, what type of man you want (presumably NOT the kind who is looking for a mommy) and how to be a true match to what that guy wants and needs.

[@katiakay]

U talk aboutbeing different, but put a video of young models!!!!! ....

[@BernMendez]

Katia if you've watched any of my videos you will see that I use a variety of images incluing young, middle aged, and older women. : )

[@dragonfly656]

And all video clips are of wildly exuberant extroverts. Happy, friendly, but calm people are simply far less salient, less likely to be noticed first.

[@tboykin13tb]

😊

[@BernMendez]

Thank you for watching.

[@unterdessen8822]

Yeah, high maintenance extroverted good-looking girls. I already knew that.

[@BernMendez]

That's NOT at all what I shared...

[@MadalenaKC]

well my bad, nice gays always want me unfortulnately they are 30 or 40 years older. . Why man in my age(late 40 are not interesting of me. Im looking10years younger

[@rachelwhite438]

Be glad they don’t bother you. Also of those dudes are just out of the “we stayed together for the kids” and they are busy trying to fill this hole they have in their heart. If they haven’t been married… statistically men that haven’t been married by 42 won’t. If they do, they are usually about 65 when you to. Hope this helps. Go for who treats you well and you have a reasonable amount of chemistry, but exciting ones are often toxic