Why No One Is Having Children Anymore | Etta May

[@sandrawykoff1274]

She is hilarious. She is a breath of fresh air. It's real life and doesn't have to be vulgar to be funny. I really enjoy her.

[@jeanettesledge5490]

Just what I needed 😂

[@HisameArtwork]

she just said penis, vomit shit. she is vulgar.

[@maureenbourassa5063]

Etta May you kill it every time.

[@debbiefiuza]

By it she means fetuses.

[@sandrac3789]

Wish I'da had a dirt devil!! ❤❤❤❤❤ Etta May you should definitely come with a warning! Please Do NOT drink any sort of beverage whilst watching/listening to Etta May!! There goes my cuppa tea!! Love your wicked sense of humour. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@tammyrenee64]

Yes and make sure you go pee, before watching😱🤣✌️

[@redneckbarbie]

And NO ONE in the house is trying to sleep!!

[@rickyparrish8310]

I never had kids being a man this makes me glad i didn't although i love kids watching them play and having fun 😊

[@ettamaycomedy]

😂LOL I need to get T-Shirts with that warning on it! You guys are so silly. 🥰

[@lakotafire2804]

​@@ettamaycomedy You're fantastic! Thank you for making the world a bit better!

[@barneshomestead1240]

You can't imagine how badly I needed a laugh. Thank you.

[@NikiLivi5]

We were at a child’s go cart race downtown and we turn to see my 3 yr old little boy peeing on the door of the Mormon church. I grabbed my girls and we left telling my husband he’s yours! 😂 We decided to try for baby #4 and got twins. I’ve literally had to poop with one sitting on each leg! 😂

[@hebercluff1665]

As a kid, one of my brothers snuck up to the front in church and stuck a pencil in the speaker's cheeks. It was very impressive.

[@lyranorthernstar3802]

⁠@@hebercluff1665 uno reverse love it

[@jcook2433]

When did you eat? I found the tub was a good place for that. I could bathe, eat, wash my undies and catch forty ( make that thirty) winks all while using my foot to jiggle the baby in her bouncy seat. Multitasking is a new term for motherhood.

[@NikiLivi5]

@@jcook2433 I usually just ate what I wanted off of what they didn’t eat. They are mostly grown now and I still prefer lukewarm food. 😂 Once the twins came along and started to eat baby food a lot of times I would bake a sweet potato and add a little butter and mash it up I would take turns giving them bites and occasionally sneak one in for myself. Then I’d eat what they didn’t eat. I only bathed in the mornings before they woke up. I had to have that 30 minutes to an hour to wake up either in the tub or shower then when I got out drink some coffee. I could do that in silence I knew I could handle the day. My kids are now 26, 23, 20, and the twins are 15! My 29 year old son is still at home because he’s half way thru getting his accounting degree. He does work 3 days on weekends stocking for Walmart at nights. My oldest daughter made an accountant also and works at our local power company as their accountant. My 2 daughter made a nurse and works at the largest hospital in our area on the critical care floor. If I can just get them all thru college maybe I can breathe a minute. 😂 But I do miss those little years and then all being at home.

[@BarbaraLockwood-q3k]

😂😂😂😂

[@Denise-f7z1f]

Love her. So genuine and honest.

[@EaglesandHorses71]

When they are little they step on your toes. When they’re grown they step on your heart.

[@HisameArtwork]

from what I've seen that only happens to abusive parents. they are always surprised their failures catch up to bite them. treat your kids as humans and they won't do it on purpose and will say I'm sorry on the rare occasions they accidentally do.

[@EaglesandHorses71]

@ There are other ways that parents hearts are hurt by their adult children besides abuse. Ex: My sister was married with a toddler. She was divorcing her husband of many years. She had never met my husband of 2 years. When she came for a visit they started having an affair. I was pregnant with our first child. Not only were my parents broken hearted, but myself, my brother in law, his parents and sisters, and my brother and his wife. My sister then got pregnant by my still husband. Their child was born 10 months after our child. He denied our child saying the baby wasn’t his. Which was a lye. They married after our divorce. He later cheated on her. She divorced him. That was 48 years ago. She never apologized to me or my parents. The family is still severed today.

[@josefinagarza241]

What a horrible sister in law, wgat goes around comes around bad,evil persons like that,your husband included. ​@EaglesandHorses71

[@Susan2361]

Etta May, I LOVE YOU!!!!! Every time I watch you, I laugh so hard I almost wet myself...I know, I know, too much information!🤣🤣🤣 I laugh so hard my dog thinks I'm dying. You are a breath of fresh air. Keep it up!!!!!

[@cathmcfarlane-noble2087]

Oh my goodness the best summation of child development, still laughing because it is the truth we never say out loud. Fabulous🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@karensmith4336]

My school bus driver was thin as a rail. She had 12 kids. I got strawberry plants from her and her home reminded me of a one room school house. Kids of all ages, every where!

[@PartyOf8Please]

2:41 BOOGERS! YOU FORGOT BOOGERS!! Everywhere 🤦🏻

[@janetmullett8006]

Eta May is a freaking genius..not only is her material hilarious but her look and presentation is hilarious as hell..love ya Etta may!!!

[@tammyrenee64]

I laughed so hard watching this one, I bout peed myself😂 I use to tell my friends, if I ever had to buy a new fridge, I would think something was wrong with it, if it wasn't open and my son's ass sticking out of it, now he tells his 14 year old son that🤣

[@kimberlyfinch6055]

The truth hurts but its a good hurt and I wouldn't trade it for the world being a mom is a good thing and being a mimi is even better ❤ loving every minute of it ♥

[@elizabethhabib7327]

Etta mae, you are now instead of employees break, it is now officially the "Etta Mae Break". Wirk literally stops for your KZbin videos as soon as we get notifications. We all love ya, especially since we are Kentuckians too.🤣🤣🤣. It makes the rest of the day great

[@dianesutton298]

Etta May, first time tonight seeing u on KZbin. u r absolutely hysterical and clean humor, breath of fresh air, I needed that tonight, w Christmas coming up in 2 weeks. Still single @ 59, since 3 years ago. I enjoyed your show alot, keep up the good work, u go girl!!!

[@tamerajardine-baker171]

That was the most hilarious truth EVER spoken...lmao!

[@KarenS-xe8om]

Girl, you are the best. Thanks for posting these clips and thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.

[@tina6277]

Dont forget the day they turn 13 they are going to tell you they are grown and you cant tell them what they can do or make them do anything. Then after college they come back and you cant get them out.

[@karenhardie1132]

Both parents work full time. Day care is expensive, and they are sick all the time. Super expensive and stressful.

[@lorir4896]

Don't forget the ruined mom's body.

[@brittanyneiswinger3561]

But it's rewarding when you hear "I love you mommy" "Mommy I need a bandaid", bye bye mommy I love you ill see you in the morning" Gives kisses and hugs... cuddles when they don't feel well l, etc. It's crazy but so rewarding. Especially when they learn new things that YOU personally taught them, and use the things you taught them. You end up looking past most of the ugly. Yes she's being totally accurate but it's still amazing being a mom. But I will say this. I had two and I was done. Mainly because my physical health was horrible after my second.

[@lorir4896]

@@brittanyneiswinger3561 it's not rewarding when they can't do things themselves.

[@melissaballard4470]

What a sad, lonely, selfish view on life. I’m feel so sorry for you.

[@lorir4896]

@@melissaballard4470 "I'm feel" sorry for you too.

[@BarbaraLockwood-q3k]

Thank you, for your comedy. Even when I am sick or recovering from surgery. You make me laugh so hard.

[@BarbaraLockwood-q3k]

I agree. After 4 surgeries, I still watch her videos. It brightens my recovery. 😂

[@BarbaraLockwood-q3k]

Love her comedy. She's astute and insightful. Telling it as it is.

[@robertkomanec2028]

Etta May, that has got to be one of your FUNNIEST Routines! It had me cracking up almost all the way through! --Robert in San Francisco

[@DaleLucier-c3c]

I love you Etta May you tell it like it is so true

[@azwife1715]

Absolutely the best😊😊

[@judimantos904]

Bless you! I needed a good laugh this morning! Happy Thanksgiving!

[@dustyking8851]

OMG!!! Quarters.... 😂😂😂😂 Haven't thought about that in years, I always wonder if my dad knew how good I was at the game. 🥳🥳🥳

[@dorothyharris2765]

Still consider my kids precious blessings, but they did all that damage when they were little, every cold, flu they shared with me. 😊😊 built up my immune system with theirs.❤ Oh happy, exhausting times, how time just flew by.

[@CChilluffo]

Oh the truth hurts so badly I’m peeing on myself!🤣🤣love you Etta May!

[@BJBilbo-rd8eq]

Love her humor!

[@sagbrady8414]

Ok...she is new to me...I'm hooked

[@tonypritchard1013]

Just watched your pod cast great funny and well loved it😁

[@christicrenshaw2772]

She is 100 percent correct

[@cleach5501]

Omg. She is one of the best comedians in a long time. ❤❤❤

[@jacquibradley1598]

Hilariously funny, how nice to bring so much joy to people without the crudity!! 🙏🙏❤❤

[@mermaidofaloha]

🤣❤️🤣❤️🤣❤️ SO True! I had 3, ages 30-40 now, they never keep in touch at all, doing fabulous in life, all successful, wealthy, stable, healthy and sober, raised by me as a single mom, alone, no help at all. Yet not one of those turds sends a Mother’s Day card, birthday or Christmas gift, a phone call, nothing, for several years now. Millennials they call them. This breed of human species I endured 30 years of nightmare hell raising. For what I ask you? Lindsay looks so free, happy and wrinkle free. Having kids is overrated for sure.

[@lauriewelsh8554]

We created this.

[@ettamaycomedy]

Having children is over rated. At least your kids turned out great. My oldest son had to move back home because he just can’t seem to keep a job. He keeps saying, “Rent is so expensive”…NO CABLE, HIGH SPEED INTERNET AND CELL PHONE BILLS ARE TO EXPENSIVE!!!! Which I would like to point out our generation lived just fine without.

[@lakeireland]

Unfortunately, many businesses in todays world require employees to have cell phones, sometimes two, and high-speed internet. Heck, even submitting job applications require internet.

[@Ad1nfernum]

​​@@ettamaycomedyLol as a 31-year-old woman who was married and building my first house by age 23 (and also am currently pregnant with my first bio child), I would like to personally smack some sense into him on your behalf. Rent (or a mortgage, in my case) is a lot less expensive if you can, you know, be bothered to hold down a job. 🤦

[@TheBOG3]

@@ettamaycomedyRent is way more than those things combined.

[@melodymichaelis8783]

I love this lady!

[@gargoledragon]

She is on the mark these days both parents do have to work daycare is expensive grandparents now have to work even after retirement and are no longer built in babysitters love this lady

[@marciamusiak7659]

this woman nailed it

[@marysmith-ps7uj]

Lindsey is rethinking her options right now!😂😂😂

[@fishmut]

Had I seen this before procreation with the misses , definitely would not have had children because what she said even thought funny is so true , no Instruction manual on raising kids but a whole lot of stress and sleep deprived months and months and into years later lol.

[@mistysouders7823]

So True and so SO AACURATE!!😂

[@KarenYauney]

Etta May, sure wish you could do a concert in the Portland Oregon. I LOVE YOU ❤

[@CajunRed]

Both my kids (never gave me a problem as kids) both graduated HS, both have jobs, one has his own car (inherited) from Granny. Girl drives like Etta's son, & she ain't destroying my 6 yr old, (could still be on a showroom floor) small SUV!! No unwanted/unplanned pregnancies from my kids. Now my kids were unplanned & unwanted, but were raised by a single mother, only got medical insurance from the government, everything else from me, bcuz I busted my arse!! I instilled a work ethic & manners into my kids!!

[@suebigger5097]

That was hilarious 😂😂

[@cindytennant5676]

OMG… I JUST LOVE HER!!! SOO FRIGEN FUNNY!! ❤❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@benwagner5089]

And shortly after she leaves home for college, she comes back home with a story for you. See, she was out sick when 8-year old Jimmy showed his little Jimmy in church, and so she asked him to show it to her after a few too many quarter-in-a-cup games. It gets a little hazy after that, but she has the next 18-year tenant brewing in the oven and wonders if she could leave it with you.

[@darlenegonzalez9707]

This woman by far is the funniest you go girl

[@gloriaklein7045]

She's awesome

[@kennethfagan9738]

She is hilarious!!! Love her ❤️

[@Unknown2Yoo]

My sister and I were unique in that we were not these types of children. 😆 People will ask my mother about things like you joke about and she'll proudly tell them she didn't have these problems on the regular because of prayer. Yes, I publicly told people Santa wasn't real at the grocery store, and had diarrhea when we were on vacation when I was toddler, but those were one offs. My mother's my best friend and she always tells people her girls are the best thing that happened to her. Mind you, she fully intended on not having any children. 😉 No intoxication, birth control just failed. 😆

[@brokenh8911p]

My prayers going up for u Seth 😢 never give up💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 Justice for Sebastian safe return

[@ChristyLynnMiles]

Flipping hilarious!!!!

[@danmasters1568]

I've never heard of this woman. She's a *scream!* I'm subscribed. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤪

[@lakeireland]

I’m saving this and playing it for the family and strangers who think it’s okay to hassle me about having kids. I have a cat for a reason. I leave her for a week and as long as she has food and water, she doesn’t care. More importantly, neither do the cops.

[@karensmith4336]

I'm right there with you. One cat, no kids. 😂❤

[@TheBOG3]

A week? You should get her a companion. Cats get lonely too.

[@Colton-wz5sh]

@@TheBOG3i was more worried about the litter box after a week

[@amyavraam8986]

I have one cat and one child lol but I'm thinking of getting another cat instead of having another child lol

[@janelliot5643]

​@@Colton-wz5shthey have those self-cleaning boxes now, electronic, might be costly

[@bobhotchkiss2438]

Tired old bit, that always comes back around. I just came to see the new version. She said it. You go through hell because they are your legacy. If you're not going to build that, your life was irrelevant. I was raised by 2 parents hammering me with this BS from the time I learned to speak. And yeah, I became responsible, and I moved out, and I never asked for their help again. But you know what, now they don't understand why they don't have any grandkids. And they're sweating bullets, because they know they made me as cold as a fish inside. I won't raise kids because I don't have the patience, or the empathy that it takes, because it was never shown to me. I'll put my parents in a flea bag home before I ever even consider changing their diapers. I'm thankful for what my parents did for me, and I respect them, but they're completely delusional in thinking that they did for me what their parents did for them.

[@kimleone5496]

I laughed so hard I almost choked

[@jpbaley2016]

64 yo and child-free! So glad my younger brother didn’t die after he divorced, as I (not his useless, deadbeat, druggie of a mom) would get his 3 kids. He didn’t trust any of his 5 other siblings, 4 of which were child-free like me. Now they have grown up and only 1 (the youngest) is having kids (currently pregnant).

[@KimMcIntyre-ou1ew]

That’s Hilarious 🤣All the Parents at the end😂👏✌️💚😎🌺🌈

[@michaelthomas9456]

She is great!

[@jackiesanders1561]

Dirt Devil! 🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@judykey2472]

Every word is true

[@harryhuffer]

When it comes to Comic's , I'm a hard one to please , but she can make me Smile .

[@carlathomas2543]

And that's pretty much why I didn't have kids! LOL!

[@92RKID]

Agreed and I can't afford to move out anyway so why have kids when the world is hella messed up and stuffed with people as it is?

[@katiedrew4708]

When I was 21 I decided I wasn't going to play the Mom game and got "fixed". Now at 66 I'm realizing I have no kids to live with.

[@lisamariesmith3610]

Don’t feel bad sometimes they don’t let you live with them.

[@belaayya5094]

I'm childfree, myself. And I can tell you after decades if working in elder care, that VERY few elderly people have any assistance from their kids. No visits, no financial help, no trips to the doctor, no vacations, no holidays. And when they go to a care home, they are never visited, their needs are never seen to by any other than impersonal hands. My husband works in community services and all he sees are old people being taken advantage of by their families, with very few functional homes. I am the only one of my mother's 6 kids that even talks to her. And tbh, that's mostly because she lives 5 states away from me. We'd kill each other if we were in the same house -- I left home at midnight on my 18th birthday and never went back!

[@kwooooo]

My mother had eight children and has no one to live with. I’d let her live with me but I can’t afford to support her and she only gets $75 a month in social security. The people that would take care of their parents don’t have the money to do it, and the ones who do have the money will drop their parents off at a nursing home where they’re lucky to ever see their kids more than twice a year, if that. Having kids doesn’t guarantee being taken care of in old age; chances are, things wouldn’t be much different.

[@jessicaharris1608]

​@belaayya5094 I work in senior home healthcare too. I've observed similar. Yes, some adult children would like to help their aging parents but those people often cannot afford to spend the time or money without becoming destitute themselves. I have one patient who has 4 children. Two of those children aren't involved at all in their 90 year old mother's care. The other two are involved from a distance but not on a daily hands on basis because their personalities would clash too much. My other patient has 3 sons that she does keep in contact with but due to her being a wheelchair user with even more limited mobility than usual, her sons cannot drive her anywhere. They don't visit often either. The lack of visiting is NOT ok but the other stuff is understandable at least. Many people are barely able to take care of their own households much less add (an) ailing older parent(s). I can't fathom how difficult it would be to juggle parenting, keeping my own house and marriage going AND helping with ailing parents. (The husband and I don't plan to procreate.)

[@katiedrew4708]

@@lisamariesmith3610 Sometimes they drop you ff at a Nursing Home!

[@jasminorta7312]

😂😂😂😂this was great

[@cloudillusions4995]

exactly why i never had children

[@johnramirez5996]

The best 😂

[@ToLoveIsToLive89]

I have 5 children, I have not had the issues so many complain about. They are now 11-18, they all still kiss me goodnight and say I love you. They are an absolute joy to be around!💗🥰 I think the issues have more to do with the parents!😬

[@RoseHuynh-r7m]

❤I love her

[@SherriMiller-uk8bk]

She is very good!

[@gloriaklein7045]

My husband and I have been married n For 55 years he doesn't snorkeling til he's in rim sleep and I love when he does and I love hearing him breathe. Cause I know he's alive praise 👏 God and thank you Jesus that the air I'm lungs co m is from you 😅❤❤😅

[@dianethomas1173]

funniest one yet

[@SandorFule]

Etta, please let me to recommend another hitline for this run: "Now, people, all of you thinks, l am speaking about our children. Not. I a am speaking about US. We were those terrible little creatures. And now l stop for 5 seconds, lyou can think about this.

[@williamclark9624]

Remids my of Rusty Warren. Hilarious from the 40's.

[@ThisOldMan-ya472]

My kids(4) told me I am going to be a lonely old man. Horray! I did something right.

[@darcy5761]

She makes having children sound to nice!

[@ADM651]

😂😂😂😂 Thank you for making me laugh.

[@jeanettesledge5490]

She is wonderful 😅

[@tinascott-vp8un]

That's how it really really is 😂

[@zandrarose2258]

Nice character, I enjoyed that.

[@PJB-To-be]

Yep!❤❤❤

[@sagbrady8414]

My parental advice has always been watch " Invasion of the Body Snatcher" because somewhere between 12 and 13, that pea pod is dropped off & you have a totally different kid ...but dont worry they come back...someday i think

[@lisa-kg1nk]

Etta may is great

[@dawnmantle9888]

I loved having my babies. Best thing I have ever done in my life.

[@RoseNZieg]

someone I know had like seven kids and she was still thin as a stick. I really don't envy her. she was always encouraged to eat.

[@HeatherRau-w9k]

Lol I love her she's very funny

[@creativeness68]

I wished someone would had told me. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I use shark vacuums. 😂😂

[@coreydesrosier4266]

Truth

[@nathelondon3719]

If you let your children live you get grandchildren. They are the real pleasure and reward.

[@sarahb5989]

Amen

[@dusklvr]

There are millions of kids who need parents. I was orphaned 4 years old. I would never bring a child into this toxic world. There are already so many here that need loving homes. I'm too sick to function, too poor to survive. so I would not make a good adoptive parent....😞

[@kellirush8395]

I have 3 girls, ages 35,26 and 19. My 26 year old daughter still thinks that she knows it all. I wouldn't change having girls though. 😊

[@krisjackson5967]

I have 3 daughter's, 39 , 36 & 31 + 6 Grandchildren. Loved spending time with them as they grew up & wouldn't change it . This does make me laugh through apart from talking about Lindsay 😂

[@Ad1nfernum]

I have a 14-year-old stepson whom I've raised from age 2 and am currently pregnant with my first child, a girl. I have noooooooo idea how much different raising a girl is going to be, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

[@TheBOG3]

@@Ad1nfernumIt’ll be fun. Girls are usually great and tend not to get into the trouble that boys do. My mom always said she didn’t have to worry as much with having 2 girls vs. having 2 boys in her opinion.

[@ThisOldMan-ya472]

When 16, my brother came home somewhat under the influence after a school dance. About an hour after climbing into bed, he decided peeing off the front deck, was the bathroom. Mom and dad(a local school teacher) was not impressed.

[@gypsybelle4757]

Did anyone else think this was a Ted Talk from the thumbnail?😂😂

[@denisethorbjornsen7493]

Nowadays young people can barely afford to take care of themselves and that's why they don't want to get married and have children

[@yt-sh]

Lindsey was a good sport

[@WTHax]

You dont have to have kids. If youre single, keep your legs closed. Marry before you carry. Kids thrive with two parents not a single mom.

[@moonandstars4690]

Who are you to be saying anything shut your mouth.

[@sherridarrenkamp3303]

Amen.

[@JaneDoe-ng3zm]

Single mom here I have 2 beautiful kind productive kids,i never made much money but homeschooled my kids til high school age and both graduated with honors and were always on the honor roll, my son went to law school, both are fine decent persons good mother and good father of my 3grandboys don't judge others even tho I was a single mom that didn't make much money i was a giver, girls that I worked with that were married with kids couldnt keep their utilities turned on even tho they were a 2parent home I paid a light bill or heat bill many of time and never asked to be repayed and I have donated money to have water wells drugs in foriegn lands so a village can have safe water my name in on the village pumps, stop thinking you are a superior parent becuz you're married, being married doesn't make you a good person or a good parent, being a good person helps you to be a good parent

[@petuniafred]

Hell yes notice the negative comment is a man who wants free fucks and leave us to clean up after. His fucker that he doesnt want anything to do with. Oh and he is obviously against marriage why pay for it if its free?? Right??? Fuck that!!!!!

[@sarahb5989]

God has an intended path. Sing a mom can do a lot; A mom and a dad do the best. And yes, a mom and a dad not a father and a mother there is a difference

[@americanviewpoint]

So funny 😂🤣

[@jimbeam7636]

"by showing my penis...." In school and almost get expelled... Had to send this to my mom

[@teresaedgerton2799]

She is so very funny but so very true ok

[@debbiefiuza]

Yep, not doing this