Why successful men are jerks: no one wants to do the laundry

Why is it the case that success and selfishness so often seem to go together in men? The answer is simple: men don't really want to romance women. When they are unable to provide the lifestyle and provision for which women typically select, men adopt romantic consideration as a kind of virtuous necessity in the service of their goals. However, once they become successful, they believe that they should be able to dispense with the courtship drudgery they never wanted to do in the first place. This is why successful men are jerks.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #men

[@psychacks]

Why is it the case that success and selfishness so often seem to go together in men? The answer is simple: men don't really want to romance women. When they are unable to provide the lifestyle and provision for which women typically select, men adopt romantic consideration as a kind of virtuous necessity in the service of their goals. However, once they become successful, they believe that they should be able to dispense with the courtship drudgery they never wanted to do in the first place. This is why successful men are jerks. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #men

[@B.R.Thorn11.11]

@@psychacks this also applies in social structures between men. History shows a true account of power being held by the ruthless, heartless and cruel. This brings to question your intrinsic value and motivation rehashing the term successful takes in new meaning and fortunately separates the two constructs. Let people be shallow, capital driven arseholes and circulate in their 3D world , they are yet to ascend the peak _ a self important waste of oxygen 😱

[@jakejakobz]

Women like flowers but reallyyyy like not paying rent had me rolling on the floor.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

Ok so why do they get a free pass, but I have to work? Stop giving them value they never earned

[@philipehusani]

​@@marcusmcgraw3519 So get more than one... Don't equate yourself to any one woman. None of them can ever be compared to you.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

@@philipehusani that’s one of the weirdest takeaways I can see from this. My point is that why should women get to get out of paying rent, but I should have to work for all my value? You guys cannot stop showing how desperate you are for a woman, and that is the real problem

[@huko4266]

And them bending over for another round 😅

[@philipehusani]

@@marcusmcgraw3519 Lol... Desperate for women? You're the one talking about giving them value they never earned and all I'm saying is if you believe she hasn't earned your value, you can give that value to multiple women, thereby making the value you're giving to every individual woman less, well, valuable. Basic economics. If you want one then give that value to the one that earns it... Slowly but surely drop the ones that bring no value, until you get to the one that brings the most value.

[@SpencerCornelia]

this is the kind of sociology that needs to be taught to young men in schools

[@chrisandrews8819]

@@SpencerCornelia Not gonna happen. There are 10s of millions of people and hundreds of businesses and institutions, even entire governments which benefit from most men remaining romantic, betatized, naive, easy to control.

[@Hdhfhhdh]

I think it should thought to boys by their fathers. I’m going to be a father soon. I’m planing to teach these things to my son when during his teenage years

[@sal2975]

​@@HdhfhhdhWhy not both? Because many don't have fathers.

[@wishourselvesaway]

@sal2975 too much non-academic material has already invaded the curriculum. It doesn't need any more stuff. I also wouldn't trust it to be taught effectively by female teachers.

[@Stocksrose]

Monkey see moneky do,Sons mimic their fathers so just be good role model ,all that stuff will go in one ear out other . Your are his life compass not videos on KZbin

[@chrisandrews8819]

The irony with flowers is that they're only truly well received if she's already so attracted to you that you needn't have bothered. Otherwise they just come off as try hard/ supplicating.

[@bioshin]

This is important because it's genuine attraction what makes the difference and he said it in his previous video: "it's creepy depending on who it's doing it because it's not when she's attracted to him but with someone else is". He has a huge point in this video but it's also somewhat flawed, see, beautiful women with a difficult background and rough childhood are MORE LIKELY to seek money and they'll become extremely attractive to become trophy wives to be picked by extremely resourceful men, they end up cheating on them and they also rip out all their money in the divorce depending on the situation, literally becoming a simp who's unable to do something else's than throwing money at her but, middle class up women with higher education and resources will never cater to this type of men, they cater to "higher value" men, "value" meaning attractiveness, intelligence and efficiency. In my point of view he needs to start separating what could be a generalized advice from certain point of view since it's more complicated than that.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

Hot women get flowers by the bushel… it means nothing to them.

[@chrisandrews8819]

@@bioshin It's useful and often predictive to meet a woman's mother. You can get a better sense of how she'll turn out, her values, habits, default behavior etc. Esp if she's neurotic, and very materialistic

[@bioshin]

@@chrisandrews8819 Agree, a lot of women who are raised in wealthy "conservative" families also come from this type of backgrounds: Beautiful and hot women from a really poor family meets the rich and wealthy guy from high upper class family, fall in love and have daughters that could be alienated to some extent by her mother's trauma and wounds and her father's family culture creating a huge dissonance. There's exceptions but pretty much that type of mothers that end up being BPD weaponize their daughters in too many ways. Add a grandiose narcissistic father due to his level of income and it's a recipe to a really traumatized childhood.

[@Bookooky]

@@michaelgarrow3239 It means u are disqualified if no flowers by date 3 actually. Speaking as an attractive woman.

[@Spider2083]

This man is saying the quiet part out loud. He is speaking the good word!

[@ryanh9388]

Prior to my 30’s I was just an average nobody, in my mid-30’s I sold my start-up. In many ways my life had improved dramatically but I think of your interview on Soft White Underbelly “I wish I was not an astronomer when the stars come out,” in how I view women. From my perspective you see through all of the talk and realize what they truly are. They’re not evil, malicious, or malevolent; they’re just functionally children in adult bodies.

[@mjaybee]

The best way to view them. They are what they are.

[@ryanh9388]

@@mjaybee exactly! You can get upset or you can just understand what you are dealing with and move on accordingly.

[@allie9462]

Actually it’s men that are child like and blow up their whole life, family and career by following around their penis. So many men risk everything for something as dumb as a sext, etc

Next step is realizing this is true for men as well 🤷

[@baffinsansterre]

Kudos to reach the finish line & be RPA.

[@TheONE10X]

I was a lifelong romantic and have been what many would consider successful throughout the years. I no longer romance women, however, because it only opened me up to exploitation and abuse. Very little reciprocation as well. Additionally, most women seem to prefer the asshole anyway, and would often misinterpret my soft side as weakness. This way, by not caring too much about what women think, everyone gets what they want.

[@peripheralparadox4218]

Yes, being romantic has the risk of fucking with their hypergamy. It can easily be interpreted (and often correctly so) as a form of pedestalisation. Like with most things with women - it can be a catch 22.

[@eugenerider0701]

@@peripheralparadox4218 Real, man

[@Ravenafeedsravens]

@@TheONE10X Hey! A woman here, who never dated a rich guy and I am almost 40 years old. The part you wrote about exploitation and abuse makes me sad. Whether a man or a woman, no soul deserves to be exploited and abused.

[@CeceliPS3]

​@@Ravenafeedsravensand yet most of us men are when we are romantic with out dates and girlfriends. I've seen it first hand with me and friends. You've got plenty of testimonies here in the comments and then there's the video itself...

[@ashok.vardhan.g]

@@Ravenafeedsravens and yet it has happened all the time, over many instances.

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@GregMunro]

You wont regret it

[@YellowToucan]

Think about it in reverse. Do you know a very attractive woman who jumps to cook, clean, or do your laundry men? Of course you don't. The more attractive a woman is the less likely she'll do those things. The same with men. The more successful a man is, the less he's likely to cater to her whims/desires. "Why successful men are jerks and attractive women are boring/lifeless/nuts" - because they can afford to be.

[@terraflow__bryanburdo4547]

Add on that or triggers more attraction, so win-win

[@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115]

This comment deserves more likes than the video itself.

[@mjaybee]

This is why American society is a failed society

[@dontreadmyname4396]

because both are overwhelmed by options and people chasing, the last thing they want to do is do anything to increase those annoying numbers, so they act like jerks

[@allie9462]

That’s where you’re wrong. Women are nurturers and more loyal than men. Women actually get so much pleasure from taking care of their man by cooking for him, cleaning for him etc. it’s an innate desire to make sure your man is cared for to face the big bad world

[@stephanewilfriededing59]

We are not jerks... We have boundaries and we enforce them. That's just the way it is.

[@DustinD-h3i]

Another KZbin guy self identifying with “we” Lool

[@thomasdee1980]

The one thing he forgot to mention is that a lot of people (both men and women) learn the wrong lesson. If you are successful, people will put up with you being an asshole as the challenges of dealing with you are more than compensated by the benefits to them for having to deal with you. That is why a lot of famous people are massive assholes. A lot of people get this backward and see someone who is an asshole getting what they want and assume that if they replicate this behaviour (but not the success), they too will get what they want and are bitterly disappointed.

[@kidbu916]

Thank you for spelling this out for folks, I've had to say it too many times. Men online have this issue in spades with misunderstanding this.

[@MarioMario-vy4bi]

There is an epidemic of reverse causality everywhere

[@DionLYA]

I don't disagree with your point for those people with high status, but then how do you explain this case in my workplace where this asshole who isn't successful still getting what he wants? He is not a manager, just a regular employee. And he doesn't get along with many people, barely talks to anyone else other than the girls he teases. And now he is in a relationship with one of them.

[@thomasdee1980]

@DionLYA you raise an excellent point. I think for every interaction, people have a sort of cost benefit analysis. If you have an asshole, the question is whether it makes sense to stand up to them (which will be a fight) or let them have their way (which will reinforce their behaviour and make them worse in the future). I used to work in customer service and assholes always got their way as they were willing to escalate everything and the managers could not be bothered dealing with complaints. In my current role though, I work with companies and universities to carry out research projects. I have been in meetings and when known assholes' names come up as potential partners, the first question which is raised is whether anyone else could be used instead. If there is a viable alternative, they will go with them. I think thar is part of the reason why assholes seldom change as being an asshole will get you small things, but unless you are really really good, people will not only not involve you in the big things, but they won't even bother to tell you as they won't want the hassle. I think a lot of assholes have no idea on all the stuff they missed out on because people can't be arsed dealing with them

[@thomasdee1980]

@DionLYA as for the relationship, there are four options in my mind. 1. Is that he is either not an asshole to her or is an asshole to her in a way she can deal with. 2. She mistakes him being an asshole to being confident and strong. 3.Jordan Peterson said women are often attracted to disagreeable men because while she has to put up with that behaviour, no one will mess with her as they really don't want to have to deal with him so the benefits may outweigh the hassle. 4. Maybe he was the only guy who asked her out. Annoyingly, there seems to be a paradox where if you respect women you are told to leave them alone, so often the only men which approach women are the ones that don't respect them

[@debbiieesmiles]

My son is 9, but best believe Im gonna sit his ass down and make him watch all your videos when he gets older .

[@RTFLDGR]

There are MANY men content videos he should watch. WAKE UP THE BOYS to the actions of predatory women.

[@btchiaintkidding7837]

he has a half a dozen of videos on how to deal with woman during emotionally eleavted argument etc etc. these are must watch , reminder

[@georgeelder8415]

Why wait?

[@kire115]

I started my son the summer before high school started. He's a junior now and very enlightened at his age seeing the b.s. literally unfold around him in the high school hallways and classrooms. Young women just learning their power, young men bowing to their whims.

[@georgeelder8415]

@@kire115 You are wise! The truth should be given in small doses, when it can be accepted/utilized...

[@eliel14ful]

Chad is the guy that realized in his teens or 20s he can cut off the bs and go straight to the point. Mode one baby make it happen

[@Vaguetadpole]

Ain't that the truth

[@anisenkrill6179]

RIP ARC.

[@Dewane1511]

Man of the culture mentioning ARC and mode one ✊🏾

[@Clockwork.Lemon854]

I detect nothing but facts😂They think they want love but don't respond to it😂

[@chadhatter]

Nailed it!

[@ryanh9388]

If you want to understand how anyone truly feels do not listen to their words but observe what they do with their feet and their wallets.

[@allie9462]

I would agree but lots of men will continue to financially support women and physically stick by her but mentally and emotionally they check out and lust for other women

[@shaolinotter]

@@allie9462 considering woman initiate 80% of divorces, that just sounds like men are better at honoring their wedding vows during the ups and downs

[@gowa1983]

"Your content is great, man, even for a 40-year-old guy from Poland. I wish I had found you 10-20 years earlier. Currently, I'm in a 10-year relationship, not married, but I still feel like something isn't quite right. What you say completely aligns with my experience in this relationship, as well as in my previous ones. You can still open my eyes more and more..."

[@waysofzen]

Ahh the old song & dance... called a date. Where are my flowers?? I left them back at my place... let's go get them!! 😂

[@AgroBusinessPodcast]

That's a weasel's tactic... I love it hahaha

[@walterwilkinson1499]

Said with a smirk, that's a great way to see if it was a shit test or real.

[@Spider2083]

@@waysofzen New skill unlock 😂

[@anamorphicalan]

smart

[@ronmexico5908]

It’s amazing the amount of lying that goes on in society to keep it moving. If you figure it out you’ll be surrounded by few people

[@CarlWithACamera]

And you’ll be happier.

[@sircefiro]

Too true man

[@MarioMario-vy4bi]

It’s hard to know what is a lie and what isn’t

[@mrxw-m8b]

​​@@MarioMario-vy4bilie is what isn't truth is what is In this context truth about women is best found in modern women for two reason First they choose on their own unlike traditional society giving us their natural responses a true women is hoe a false is nun Note true and false in context of their natural desires not like some ideal but not ideal or instead real vs pretending nun is the pretending women hoe is the non pretending women Why because hoes live free nuns in rules it's not that the nuns don't want to is that they can't they don't want to be sinful like a mouse which is free a mouse which is not free Which one shows the natural state of mouse most likely a mouse Point is getting women to choose what they want reveal their desires Compare that to any form of rule it's nice to be good but that isn't the natural state of the women Now second point now we know which type of women reveal women's natural liking we see their choices Now where do you see Any form of upholding any kind of moral or legal system disqualifies a women from the true women category why because she is following the rules not her desires which is what we want to know The truth of them Having known it it's not noble as women like to believe

[@Hdhfhhdh]

Women’s logic : Make rules for the nice guys , and break their own rules for alphas

[@Bookooky]

Untrue, it's when women are already bonded its hard to break due to maternal instinct. Abusive men weaponise this loyalty against women until we decide we will never love again.

[@BohemianAndy]

It’s very true. Seen this movie many times

[@AkshayKumar-ue1fp]

How is that women’s fault? That’s how the world works.

[@testsurname5679]

women chise such men... 🤷 so women's fault

[@DionLYA]

@@Bookooky But why they didn't choose the nice guys first? That's the point. They chose the abusive men first, get heartbroken because they thought they could change him. But if they could change him, they would never have chosen him in the first place, since that would make him a nice guy, because only nice guys will comply.

[@AtomicMickey]

Nah. We just become cynics as we grow old as men and don't care anymore. So when you become successful and see that suddenly they start "caring" so much, you know it's your time to play your hand. That's how it really works.

[@timothyw7663]

Who wants a fake romantic relationship? E.g., one that ISN'T based on sincere attraction and caring, (rather than convenience)? I know I wouldn't, and I actually doubt that anybody (man or woman) does. Only fake-assed, self-absorbed dopes who don't have a complete package to offer would settle for such a thing.

[@AtomicMickey]

@@timothyw7663 Yes, but even the most "pure" love from w_men doesn't pass the real money/convenience trials. That's the thing.

[@armorbearer9702]

It makes sense. Successful men know they are highly desirable and will leverage their position.

[@5minutes106]

Love this channel because of the delivery. No redpill rage, no off topic rambling, no lambo in the background, just a perspective that makes sense if you're willing to listen delivered in less than 10 minutes.

[@M0viLover]

"no lambo in the background .." So.. you're familiar with Fresh & Fit / Fresh, aka Walter Weekes..

[@oscarreygadas]

We don't LOVE to bring flowers, but most of us do enjoy to bring them occasionaly. Men love to share their resources with others, specially when we are appreciated.

[@gregr1154]

there you go - you love being appreciated. the flowers are a means to that end. if you get flowers and she doesn't appreciate you, you won't be doing that for long

[@anjunatuna]

I agree--I've never expected flowers in my life nor have I ever gotten flowers but it sure wouldn't hurt. Hey, you could be the first guy to ever get that girl flowers---she might let you do things to her she's never let anyone do.

[@michaeljeffery7466]

​@@anjunatuna "she might let you do things to her she's never let anyone do." She let guys Fuck her in a bathroom stall because she was drunk, & it wasn't because they brought her flowers.

[@lukemacklin7557]

If it was the case that women let men who buy them flowers do things that they don’t let other men do, men would be buying women flowers

[@anjunatuna]

Well it certainly helps if the woman was considering it before the flowers....the flowers just seal the deal. Don't waste your money on flowers unless she's actually into you.

[@danielj3010]

Orion is crushing it.

[@idkwhattonamethis8593]

Women do the same thing with not being willing to sign a prenup. They say they don't want you for your money, but refuse to sign a document saying that they don't have the right to take it from you, because that means we don't love and trust them. As if them talking out of both sides of their neck and behaving in ways that doesn't align with their stated thoughts and values isn't the thing that causes the mistrust.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

Of course they say that. They have to make the scam look harmless, remember?

[@user-ze4cx5sn5c]

This is reach … not remotely the same. But being conditioned to get “legally married “ is akin to being conditioned to being “romantic” both are unnecessary when you remove the blindfold and chains

[@andrewcolleyproperties4211]

Profound explanation!

[@Nordic_Sky]

I'm 63 and my gorgeous wife is 31. I insisted on a very tough prenup, and she signed it. It was a dealbreaker for me and she knew she wasn't going to be able to negotiate it away.

[@CarlWithACamera]

@@Nordic_Skyshe’s Asian, no?

[@k.alvarado6237]

Being very attractive does the same thing as well as having money.

[@oftenthisawesome2485]

Facts probably worse because it’s always on you and you can’t hide it.

[@shaolinotter]

doubly so if the man is a reformed nice guy. he knows that mistreating women will just compound his success

[@DmT922ha]

I am a reformed "nice guy" to semi-jerk and man has my life improved for the better in all aspects..

[@metronome7799]

For better or for worse, being nice just isn't as valued as much as being attractive or having proofs that you possess traits in the areas she cares about. If it worked we'd stay nice. Doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme though

[@dontreadmyname4396]

@@DmT922ha can u help me out do that change? because no matter how many videos i see about the topic or im told how being the nice guy is bad and doesnt work i am naturally the nice guy and i dont seem to be able to change when i really like a woman

[@slylockfox85]

@@dontreadmyname4396 We all learn the same lessons. You can either learn the easy way or the hard way. Pain is a great motivator, but I don't recommend it.

[@BeetleOtaku]

I'm sure you guys noticed this too, that control of your emotions and laughter go hand in hand with dropping the nice guy.

[@richardfranz3180]

After following Orion for over a year, I must say, that this one has made me laugh the most.

[@BaiMengLing]

What does your wife think of him?

[@TheEurostyler]

As usual Orion, it's a quality post. We men know that, but you beautifully dissect it and explain it democratically. I drive my ladies mad when I bring up these subjects in a conversation, but you know what? It's the feminism 2.0 reality. I hope every male teenager tunes in and is then sorted for life. I do not buy presents (my family's strict upbringing), I do split dinner bills (unless it's her birthday) and live on my own. I show them that I have ingested my red pill and am happy with it. They came back for more. I am not there to disrespect them. I show them that I am aware of my average financial output but I keep my payments on point. Adapted my strategy and am fully conscious of it (culture+gym+travels) the rest is up to them to show appreciation or not

[@23DanielVincent]

Even though I'm not successful yet, I'm already at this point.

[@snakegriffin4928]

Haha most men dgaf about dates and chivalry nowadays. Women have killed those

[@SeanMcGown]

You are one of the funniest commentators on KZbin these days.

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Why do women date and marry jerks? Because he's HER jerk, she benefits from him being that way. Sure she would like him to be more romantic and attentive but she's not going to leave him because of that. The anecdote about the "no flowers" is one reason I've given up on relationships. It's not that all women are like that, it's that TOO many are.

[@dk_1973]

I like doing nice things for my girl because it makes her happy

[@BaiMengLing]

you may be the only non narcissistic guy who follow Orion

[@BossItUp911]

it's fun when they light up over something they placed zero expectation on you. it's repulsive in his example of doing 95% of the date and the person is focused on that 5% they didn't get.

[@CarlWithACamera]

Her happiness really should come from within.

[@elainer8288]

It's good to hear that! I also enjoy doing things for people I like to make them happy.

[@Raftimusprime]

"My girl"

[@rishavmehta2109]

This is one of the best videos I have ever got on my feed.

[@nadakhairi8117]

From my personal experience, men who are unsuccessful tend to be more covert and difficult to deal with, as well as manipulative. But men who are successful may appear arrogant, but are actually easier to deal with.

[@magnacarta711]

Relations w/o romance becomes a transaction… it’s what helps make the moment memorable

[@anjunatuna]

@@magnacarta711 romance doesn't exist in the sexual marketplace though--it's all transactional. The youngest women are the hottest commodities and oldest men are the highest bidders. 🤗

[@msfubby9372]

One thing i have learnt about relationships so far is that women do not like to do the things men love, while men do not like to do the things women love. Or i can say are not naturally inclined to do these. Therefore the trick to a long lasting relationship is for both sides to go out of their way and love the other how they want to be loved, and not how it feels comfortable

[@elainer8288]

Excellent comment.

[@erp010]

It's amazing how women respond though when you do do something for them because you want to. The authenticity of the expression is felt. And that's what counts.

[@elainer8288]

I agree.

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

2:37 most men don't like buying flowers, sending good morning text, and calling in for nothing Here, I thought I was the only man😂

[@rodrigobelinchon2982]

Good morning texts really are for losers😂😂😂

[@Nordic1133]

Believe it or not many women don't like that neither. And also I hate talking on the phone for hours. I just can't. Meet me in person and say what you want to say.

[@APERSON2POINT0]

I had a frank guy friend that I friend zoned that made a comment. "You are hands down the hottest and thinnest girl wherever we go. But once you open your mouth, all crazy comes out." I wasn't offended because I know it's the truth. I feel like I can get away with it. Eventually after about a year of hanging out he said he doesn't want to spend time together because he was just trying to get laid. I absolutely love the authentic frankness. If I hid my crazy then he would of hid his inner jerk and we would of been hiring James Sexton, the divorce attorney years later as phoneys in an in authentic dreadful marriage.

[@mrmitchell4089]

That's a good relationship cause it's built on honesty. It's not romantic because romance requires lies. Good sex is as far as it goes because the man won't let anything slide. The goofy stuff or shortcomings aren't tolerated and get passed to the unknowing husband.

[@mattheweaton1420]

I think it also has to do with the fact that successful people get things done. This often requires working with others, and successful people have little tolerance for the excuses and lack of performance from others. They demand that others be highly productive and hold people accountable with no filter, which is seen as being a jerk.

[@MsLilflyer]

I don’t believe that successful men are inherently less romantic or less patient with women. Plenty of successful men are caring and romantic-with women who are on their same level. What they’re not as eager to do is shower romance on someone who’s also asking them to cover rent and upgrade their lifestyle. You get one or the other, but you can’t demand both!

[@Khan-rz8qi]

Bingo! And no, she doesn’t have to be on my level, just lower maintenance than most and I’ll do my part.

[@abinadabagbo1603]

Wow, that's right!

[@dionbridger5944]

Authentic romance comes out of being in love. A man will fall in love between maybe 1-3 times in his life, and the chances its mutual are small. The rest who aren't so lucky are left searching for strategies that make a transactional relationship work, and funnily enough romance isn't all that important for a transactional relationship.

[@StunGib]

I was married for 38 years before my wife passed away. Her nickname for me was asshole. I agree with what you've said. I learned it the hard way, observing what she did against what she said. I hated buying flowers, but did so once in a while for Mothers day, but never when we were courting.

[@shaolinotter]

if a woman is calling you an asshole, that's agood sign that she's offering you sex. its difficult to say if they are lying or just confused when they say they want a nice guy. they arent sure themselves

[@janiceball8431]

Getting older with more experience changes how one navigates themselves in the dating pool. You can’t change people but you can leave them behind.

[@mazzbr]

The good old Orion. We missed this kind of video

I am half the book and I must say it is amazing point of view. I guess is a must read for all men. And is not only about relations, but to fulfill the real man personality.

[@Alexandre-rt7xk]

I don't mind giving flowers from time to time but good morning texts breaks my back. I can't do it. It is too much time wasted. And when I wake up I need to ready my mind for work, not romance.

[@untamedwildhorse]

Thanks for explaining that. I was butt hurt my guy wasn't doing that when previous men I dated did. I started doing that and he responds to it favorably when I do that occasionally. He doesn't like it daily either. It took me a while to figure out that he needs to focus.

[@elainer8288]

I'm a woman and I agree. It's unnecessary to do this good morning texts. Talking after work during a call is better. We all need to focus at work in the morning.

[@YourEvolvedDoomer]

Man, all those times I was loving to women, whether it got me what i wanted or not... what a waste of time, self-humilliation. And there I am thinking I'm showing them the quality of man I am, when in reality, I was just exposing myself to hurt. Women really do interpret humanity and love as weakness.

[@Shamilt3]

Successful men also have realize that what women say/complain to their girl friends over is not what she responds to AND successful men also realize you (the man) are only is good as yesterdays numbers. If she is in your reality and following you, she wont care about flowers assuming youre doing everything else right. You stop being attractive and provide the security she needs, youre smoke... Just like she stops putting out or doing her part, she had better be out

[@demven04]

Genius observations and thoughts. Thank you! I absolutely agree with this, as I’ve experienced it all myself.

[@chengmunwai]

5:06 - "Ladies, so you are at the very least somewhat complicit in creating the conditions you lament" Every woman needs to listen this statement.

[@M0viLover]

Oh, yeah ..; I can relate to the "No flowers??" comment at 8:12. In the 2000s I was in a LTR with a Latina. One Valentine's Day I drove to her place after work. I had grabbed a solitary rose on the way there, which I presented to her. We went out to a nice restaurant (white linens; reservation required; etc.). I dropped $100 on the dinner. Back to her place. She got me a few gifts - boxer underwear, and maybe a couple of other things. She then looked at me quizzically, and asked "Where's my DOZEN roses??" I reminded her that I gave her *a* rose, earlier. She immediately got all in a huff / upset. *I told her* that if me dropping $25+ on a dozen roses was more important - instead of the restaurant we went to, I'd instead have gone to a chain restaurant for dinner. V-Day is a Hallmark (aka, not real) holiday..

[@alteroxx]

Yup, and for the ladies; if you want romance be very into your femenine… inspire him and his and your sensuality will make him always put in effort 😉

[@sammyb1651]

Simple and fair. Beyond their comprehension though.

[@shaolinotter]

this is all men generally want anyway, so a man with money is just going to buy it (sugar baby). but its also fair that a woman who has to work is going to have less capacity to be sensual

​@@sammyb1651 stop with the incel shit. This isn't what Orion wants you to be.

[@sammyb1651]

You sound a little over "invested" if you don't mind me saying. Comes across weird. Try to not get quite so emotionally affected by comments. 👍

[@poloboy]

@@sammyb1651 lol brutal comeback

[@richardtrembecki8449]

There are some real truth bombs in this video. I love it!

[@glowupwithwonderwoman]

A man's behavior is a function of how much he likes you. I know plenty of successful men who are not jerks to their romantic partners, but they are with women they really really really want to be with. Women can pretty much eliminate the need to deal with jerks by making themselves attractive enough to get successful men to see them as a prize. Easier said than done but not impossible.

[@gmoneymac23]

I'd rather buy flowers and candles than pay their rent 🤷‍♂

[@RyanPatrickFlanagan]

6:47 mark - that sh!+ is laundry to men! Classic line! Love it!

[@JohnStiletto]

I like the romance, have never been rich and don't care about money much. Had a gf dis me a left me for her boss with a lot of money. She wanted to come back, i just laughed and walked.

[@someguyusa]

If a woman respects you, then she'll add value to your life. Women respect when you're unwilling to idolize them and are willing to walk away.

[@advhawk6455]

Boom. Nailed it. Every young man needs to hear this.

[@4787fhjjk]

Personally I am not attracted to wealth and I never have been even when I was young and smoking hot. I’m just not into the vibe. Certainly not attracted to poverty. I definitely prefer a man who has time for me. Not all his time, but enough. I do like highly intelligent free thinkers though. And I do like dominant men, I live up to the stereotype there for sure.

[@MVProfits]

Like a lot of men, I find young hot women the peak of attractiveness. No surprise there. But I also realized in these last years, how they are less bitter and morel like you described yourself. Older women bombard with questions about job, this and that. So annoying.. Young women are into the vibe.

[@carlosemiralonso7997]

I think you people miss that a man with a job at early age is a successful one. So in a way, having money to spend makes so that you actually can do more activities, else, having rich parent (or enough to have money to spend). Which of course if you are poor and have to eat, you are very unlikely to date or think on it. So yeah, not rich people, but enough to be able to do things.

[@4787fhjjk]

@@carlosemiralonso7997 Agree! I should have been more clear. I’m not into extreme wealth/CEOs.

[@4787fhjjk]

@@MVProfits We like what we like :).

[@sparshrastogi2646]

Dr Taraban, your advice has been invaluable and I have learned alot from you over the past year/2 years. Looking forward to getting your book as well. Keep up the great work sir.

[@earx23]

I don't fully agree. I like to give gifts. I don't always expect stuff in return, although sexless relationships are a no-go. I still managed. Being too much of a jerk will probably give you full access, but only for a short time. This is my experience.

[@stephenbenbow5739]

I think part of the conversation is where is the gift coming from. Like I buy girls I like drinks sometimes. I do this because I have plenty of money and it feels like a nice gift. I don't have delusions about them being more attracted to me because of it, though my experience has been that if a girl likes me already it does move the needle slightly. If I didn't do this I think my romantic success would be completely unaffected by the change

[@elainer8288]

I agree a 100%.

[@Nordic1133]

Finally, a man with brains!

[@earx23]

@@Nordic1133 How dare you assume my gender, ghehehe

[@Nordic1133]

@@earx23 😂

[@sampagan10]

1:39 This part blew my mind. Romance is a strategy for unsuccessful men. DAMN! Brutal pill to swallow

[@kimlawson9869]

Hmmmm. Look at the model on the real housewives of atlanta. Gorgeous woman, chistian, who turned down a billionaire who basically said, no amount of money could make up for his bad breath. Its like: really guys money doea not mean you become unpalatable in like every way..

[@UlquiInTheBox]

I had a girl get upset with me because I didn’t open the door for her, she kept complaining every time we’d get off the car. I kicked her to curb so fast, I was so annoyed lmao. Paid for dinner, drinks, and activity, planned the whole thing out all she had to do was show up

[@JA-qk8gt]

couldn't treat her with respect then? Don't know how to be a gentleman? Sad.

[@-blackcat-4749]

@@JA-qk8gt not being a door-opening servant means being disrespectful? what?

[@IfSemper]

Its the gentlemanly thing to do, to open doors for women. I wouldn't have complained about it, but I would notice on a date. Where I come from strangers almost always get the door for me, it's just a customary courtesy type thing.

[@-blackcat-4749]

@@IfSemper there are no ladies to be a gentleman for

[@IfSemper]

@@-blackcat-4749 Oh, there are, but granted maybe harder to find these days I know.

[@JSFGuy]

It's Friday, y'all let's check it out.

[@jrtama5]

Lol woot woot!

[@J31]

Bot comments like this are really helping that dead internet theory. Brainless comment that has nothing at all to do with the content that is immediately upvoted by other bots

[@JSFGuy]

@@J31 bot accounts like this one with no content? Bots don't have content.

[@J31]

@@JSFGuy Bots definitely have content. Some don't, but I've seen plenty that do

[@Tudorgeable]

@@J31 It's no longer a theory, let's say it's been a theory for the last decade but the past few years it's been proven time and time again. The word content has lost it's meaning in my opinion, it's become newspeak for junk, slop, devoid of substance and actual 'content'.

[@AngelofJustice412]

I wouldn’t necessarily agree that men just simply don’t want to engage in that performative romance you describe. I just think once you get rejected so many times in favor of guys who are just objectively “better” than you, you end up becoming cold-hearted. And the cycle continues. So yeah, what you said about how we learn that it’s not effective, and thus we don’t want to do it anymore, is true. It’s just that that doesn’t convey the entire picture. Some of us definitely want to - at least start off wanting to - but we not only learn that it’s not as effective, but it sometimes can be counterproductive and actually be seen as a lack of value in womens’ eyes, like some other commenters have also alluded to.

[@soichirohonda267]

In my country, if you are unsuccessful: one rose. If you are: 101 roses.

[@SydneyValette]

I think being an asshole goes far beyond not buying flowers 😂

[@peterkoch3777]

But it is a good start...😂🎉

[@uumlau]

"It's true that women like flowers, but they REALLY like not paying rent." Bwhahahhahahahahahahahahahah! I had to pause the video to collect myself.

[@BaiMengLing]

I often wonder what kind of woman Orion mom is, because he has a hard time thinking that some women are not prostitutes.

[@BeetleOtaku]

I started reading "The Wall Speaks" by Jerr. The results were immediate. I highly recommend the book to gain a masculine frame. But it'll make you stone cold brother, and they like that.

[@nicholasmosley8707]

Boom 💥 goes the dynamite. Eventually men deduce the stated preferences from the revealed preferences. And if there’s one thing all women hate no matter their beauty it’s an honest mirror

[@worldcesar]

I'm curious to see what the relationship market will be like when women have to compete with AI-powered robots. I believe a lot will change. In any case, the movie *Blade Runner* already predicts some things in this regard.

[@elainer8288]

Maybe all humanity will end up in relationships with robots that act exactly how we want. It will be a tempting option.

[@worldcesar]

​@@elainer8288Yes, robots will probably be a success. The advantages are: not being betrayed by a partner, always being available, being adaptable... Simply a loyal companion like a dog.

[@Nordic1133]

Women compete?! for who? For someone like you? 😂 Why would women compete for someone like you when she can get a 6'5" perfect athletic body and cute face robot who'll cherish her and give her orgasms.

[@bakerct90]

This is wild. Kindof sad if this is how the average guy thinks. Makes it seem like all guys are only willing to put in enough effort to get laid. Some guys do actually have a kink for genuine joy from their partner or even hookup. The thought of a a girl hooking up willingly but unexcited to be there like it's a chore is depressing.

[@cookml]

You can either understand women or respect them. You cannot do both.

[@isaiahernandez4826]

Respect is for men

[@untamedwildhorse]

As a mother of young men in their early 20s, I have shared Orion's videos. I use them as discussion prompts.

[@mosca4968]

I wish my mom was this cool

[@ronsimmsfan2661]

@@mosca4968 she's not cool

[@animamagna3077]

The world needs more mothers like you, ma'am

[@alex-p]

Where is their father? A female can never teach men how to be men... unless you want to turn your sons into mommy's boys...

[@alex-p]

Shouldn't be their father teaching them how to be men?

[@jameswallace8202]

This may actually THE BEST VIDEO that i have ever watched that you have produced. God Bless You.

[@BasementBerean]

Well carp! All I had to do as a young man was make a few million, and I wouldn't have had to worry so much how that romantic stuff works. It probably would have been easier to do that anyway.

[@joevillavicencio4718]

The only reason I don’t 100% agree with this is because something else you’ve said that has resonated with me Men are romantic I’ve attained a level of success and freedom that I don’t need to do romantic gestures anymore I love to do them still

[@anonymous.2471]

Watch his video " Most men are romantics" I think you are misunderstanding what he meant.

[@IfSemper]

...& that's fine & good, because it's genuine. You just need a woman that is also a romantic at heart who will recognize & appreciate your expressions of it. She has to be very into you, as well.

[@elainer8288]

It's great to hear that. 😊

[@rayrwyr]

Successful Man is the male equivalent of Trophy Wife. Both think they are the prize.

[@astralexplorer7674]

this has to be one of your most important videos Doc!

[@cliffthecoolcat]

LoL I don't have conversations with text messages.. I only use it for details and info. The women who want that beleong with the men who have time for that nonesense.

[@Tionaintown876]

I just realized why I’m getting none of these things. The guy I’m seeing used to be super successful but lost everything between the 2008 market crash and a tough divorce. Now, he doesn’t do the sweet things that broke guys do because he hasn’t had to do that for a long time but he also doesn’t pay my bills (well not consistently just a little help ever so often). These dynamics can be so difficult when you’re not getting what you want.

[@HexaBoxabl]

Last year, I was working full time, budgeting groceries, unable to afford date nights, and missing time with my kids. Now I learned how to make money online. Now am a SAHM, homeschooling, and making profits every week.

[@samanthadonaldson2246]

Everyone needs more than their salary to be financial stable. The best thing to do with your money is to invest it rightly, because money left for saving always end up used with no returns.

[@antoniolabrasca9069]

Can you show me how to trade profitably, I honestly need another source of steady income

[@HexaBoxabl]

Kate Mellon Bruce is not just my family’s financial advisor, she’s a licensed and FINRA agent who other families in the US employs her services

[@HexaBoxabl]

She's active on face book @

[@HexaBoxabl]

Kate Mellon Bruce

[@valdius85]

Many women don’t care about the romance. Connection should be measured in strength not in time. Also the value of your l time is measured in the productivity level you can achieve.

[@TheBestPill-no2xp]

_"Why jerks tend to be successful."_ There, fixed it.

[@vladh5192]

Well, it SEEMS that way... truth is, they don't want to spend time for bullshit. So...

[@doctorskull8197]

This video is in the top 3! Outstanding!

[@michaelgarrow3239]

If it flies, flirts, or floats- rent don’t buy…. 😉

[@B.R.Thorn11.11]

Well said , I appreciate a good saying and this is one I haven't heard and will now use 👑

[@michaelgarrow3239]

@@B.R.Thorn11.11 - I made it PG for the net. Often other F words fit in and flow… 😹

[@B.R.Thorn11.11]

@@michaelgarrow3239 If it has tits, moves it's hips and pouts it's lips_ try it don't buy it👑

[@manifest2203]

Lol billionaires like Kylie Jenner own a private jet. Nothing compares to owning.

[@manifest2203]

Some people like to own.

[@balasaravanan500]

Thanks

[@ringoheinrich7021]

Great episode. Again.

[@als51941]

Such a good video!

[@seamusconlan9673]

The drudgery of romance has a nice ring to it.

[@georgeradulescu7175]

The same culture that is pressuring men into buying flowers for their women is the same culture that is pressuring women into expecting those flowers. Same deal with diamond rings, love notes, etc... Technically, none of these things are required for a relationship to thrive. But we are conditioned to wonder how much better life would be if we had those things. I think the key to a lasting relationship is to get two people together whose expectations of romantic gestures are being met by each other. If you don't care about the romantic fluffery, you better find somebody who has similar low expectations. Same goes for those who absolutely demand their partner do XYZ. Because like so many other facets of human relationships, where there is an imbalance of perceived effort, there will be disappointment or a feeling of settling on the part of the one whose expectations are not being met. As to the point of this video, if a woman is with a successful jerk, she will always wonder how much better life would be if she was with a successful guy that is also romantic, and the odds of her leaving are dependent on whether she can find and attract such a man.

[@anjunatuna]

@@georgeradulescu7175 Agree. the more desirable the woman, the more men there are competing for her. If she went on a dozen dates with a dozen equally successful men, she will remember the one who brought her flowers.

[@elainer8288]

I agree.

[@YourElderBeerBrother]

This is not completely true, my dear. You can create short romance habits despite time pressure. Romance is also correlated to a relaxing strategy, which helps both to recharge.

[@Corey_Brandt]

This always sucked to me. I like doing those things and i am one of the few it comes naturally to. I just save it for later though.

[@AnthonyHileman-w9r]

I appreciate your unique perspective!

[@wayne7936]

And it definitely goes the other way... women get trained by, let's say, "prematurely generous" men that they don't need to give what men really want in order to get resources from them.

[@RTFLDGR]

When I got divorced @ 35, several women pursued me aggressively. One just assumed she would take over the role of wife. They came up from nowhere. I was not prepared for my current new popularity. why was this? I am a doctor making bank. Lots of bank. But that means I live, eat & breathe my worklife 60+ hours/week. These women tried many tricks to catch me. The best and worst things women can do. None of those women tried to be feminine, domestic or let me lead the dating. They were pushy, bossy and not being attractive. They wanted and wanted everything, but did not provide value that I was seeking. I remarried eventually to a wonderful woman in my 50s. She was the best. I lost her to health tragedy. :-/ never again. The women are wrecked by social media programming. I cook better. My married friends wives are quiet when I come around to party their husbands. Life is good alone. no wife, happy, peaceful, rich life. :-)

[@thepope9023]

The hot crazy matrix is applicable to both men and women

[@pioneeratheart6496]

FINALLY he says it. What women respond to is not what they say they respond to. That's true