WHY THE INFJ NEEDS TO START OFFENDING OTHERS

[@Wenzes]

Did it trigger you when you read this title? (I know it triggered me A LOT) ;)

[@ErikThor]

It resonated with me. :)

[@BlackjackMain]

Yea, I clicked on this video right away cuz the title intrigued me because it triggered me

[@baronesselsavonfreytag-lor1134]

Yes. I'm used to having unpopular opinions but they're usually true and insightful. I trust my inner voice a lot, but remain skeptical about my own motives because ultimately I am loyal to Truth and don't want to deceive myself. In INFJ fashion I usually ruminate on thoughts awhile before expressing them, knowing that I will face martyrdom every day. I tend to pull back a lot with politically misguided relatives, though. I struggle with INFJ issues, but thankfully have relied immensely on my intuition and have created some "temporary autonomous zones" throughout life that kept me fairly stable before I knew what INFJ entails.

[@BajanBeauty090]

Yes! I am going through this RIGHT now and your video popped up. I have been going through different scenarios in order to make it clear to the other person my perspective. If you want to be with me, I won’t allow you to think it’s okay for me to only think of your well-being when I also need it reciprocated.

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I knew exactly what you meant when I saw this headline.

[@BajanBeauty090]

We go after your character and not your looks. Character hits harder, it takes people out of their facade and it makes them uncomfortable

[@HaleyMary]

Exactly! Us INFJs can see people's true character for who they are and not how they want others to perceive them. I have found since I've started speaking my mind, fake people have been leaving my life. It's like the trash takes itself out.

[@goteamslugs]

It appears the reply to this comment has been made unavailable.

[@j-us-t_be-in-g]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@goteamslugs]

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornement, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - 1 Peter 3:3-4

[@penyarol83]

Amen. And it’s the kind of stuff people really need to hear.

[@ayd5108]

My silence was confused with ignorance on a subject and weakness. Imagine my friend’s face when I said, with a smile on my face, that my silence is for her benefit🙂. I told her that if I start opening my mouth she would not like me or herself.

[@MelissaJDub]

Well said!

[@DHARK1873]

I did this a few times too. It’s interesting how every time it makes the person a little shocked that we’d even make such a a warning. The half of them are smart and back off. The other half that pushes it, and oh yeah, it gets interesting and in my case they could never face me again.

[@CloningIsTooGoodForSheep]

It isn't about being mean, it is about being honest to yourself and those around you.

[@bidensucks6792]

I turned 50 recently, found out the world "no" is a complete sentence that needs no explanation most of the time. People had gotten used to me giving a reason and apologize for not being able to to something I'm asked to do. The look on there face when I just say no, "like they do" and go on with my day is actually I sight to behold!

[@avanellehansen4525]

It's a good test for Narcissists too!

[@winnietutor4759]

I offended someone last week by living my authentic life. I'm proud of myself for being true to myself but I'm still thinking about it

[@RetselisitsoeA]

Still thinking about it makes u look guilty...never feel any guilt at all for being ur true self ....

[@thirstonhowellthebird]

One of my neighbors is very negative and very rude to people especially when someone is happy about a trip or something that they are about to embark on. He is the first to tell them how ridiculous their plans or their ideas are. Last week while he was in one of his rants, thrashing his arms about, he knocked over his beer and it fell all over the ground and I laughed out loud without thinking I said in front of other, “that’s what you get for being such an asshole“ …the words just literally fell out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying but the thing is is it was true. I’m normally so docile and quiet and keep to myself on things like that that everyone around me was shocked. Needless to say I decided it was time for me to get up and go home so I left and when I looked back they were all still speechless silent looking at each other lol. I’m slowly learning that I can speak up about someone’s rude behavior in a funny way and get my point across and they aren’t sure if they have been insulted or what just happened. It’s really hard to speak up like that though, to find a way to bring to light somebody else’s cruel behavior without them really understanding that you just scolded them in public in front of the very people they were haranguing.

[@baronesselsavonfreytag-lor1134]

"Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you." - William Blake

[@juliannavince6776]

I'm SO tired of worrying about toxic and fragile people. No more walking eggshells. It is now my mission to offend them. I can be passive aggressive too.

[@Shilo6920]

I think one of the thing that separates a mature infj from a younger/inexperienced infj is this. It’s to be ok with the fact that you WILL offend others by standing for what you think and believe. This still aligns with our goals to help people and keep peace because truth will bring peace in the long road. This will help stop people pleasing, it will attract like minded individuals which will fill your life with the relationships we fundamentally are looking for and this will also exponentially progress in every aspect of your life.

[@amyj.4992]

I can't tell you how many connections I have severed from my authentic honesty

[@amyj.4992]

4:44 on the divine clock

[@Anklebreaker_official]

I wanted to be 100% flawless and a perfectionist all my life when it comes to being kind and nice towards everyone. Realising we (INFJ'S) go above and beyond where others would not go. So we are allowed to tell ourselves more often...if we relax for maybe 20%, we are still doing so much for our community, YOU are still very much good enough and are allowed a mental break (by being a bit 'offensive' once in a while). Others probably won't even notice you being rude haha, but they will notice a more genuine and unique you in the end.

[@klarafall4281]

To inform about a different point of view I regard an act of love. it is part of the care for someone. where our care for the feelings in the here and now are tempting us the wrong way.

[@marshmallowvampire8503]

I understood right off the bat what you were trying to say with "INFJ's need to start offending people". I actually went through things lately that made me realize I am absolutely too quiet, so I started saying things as I thought them, but in a nice way and it even if it didn't make a difference, it was liberating.

[@stephaniebell4272]

At times we just have to draw the line in the sand. Enough is enough and we politely say things like “ my life is different now” and walk away. No fight, no strings, just finish!

[@09TODsoul]

need this today, literally been crying to my dad about how I'm so exhausted from trying to make this family happy and not upsetting anyone when they continually insult and upset me even after I have expressed myself

[@kevinlarocque3263]

I hear you 100% we are people pleasers

[@thenickening]

not your job to make people happy. its your job to make yourself happy. you think you're helping - but when they continually insult and upset you - you should take the hint and change your strategy.

[@derda1304]

*hug*

[@WarnerElliott]

It feels good to be yourself, whether people get offended or not.

[@kevinm5792]

“A man with no enemies is a man with no character” - Paul Newman “Discretion is the better part of valor” - William Shakespeare Somewhere in the space between the quotes above is where I personally find the most traction.

[@TinyBudha]

It’s true. The thing is you have to be yourself fully and speak your truth fully with the possibility to offend people. You aren’t intentionally trying to offend people but if it happens by you being you. So be it. INFJ generally is conservative by default so it’s unlikely you will go overboard. I wouldn’t worry about that. My thing was I used to not want to play “the game” of life and society at all. I just wanted to disconnect and hide. But that strategy is just as risky as playing all in. Life is so risky that you will not get out of it alive. You might as-well be all in and see where the chips will fall

[@goteamslugs]

"A tale as old as Adam and Eve. It's for you to choose; if you win or if you lose. Young or old, fortune favors the bold. But if you want to win - you gotta play the game of life!" - "Straight Outta' Nowhere; Scooby-Doo Meets Courage the Cowardly Dog"

[@juliannavince6776]

So spot on. I've been hiding. Now I'm mad

[@sayusayme7729]

Yes, tired of hiding too. Thank you 🌞

[@invadercem2]

My first reaction is that YOU’RE RIGHT! I’ve been practicing my “toxicity”(sincerity). On time once again!

[@gregoryyoung4604]

So after this video I picked up the phone, and in the most professional and straightforward way I could, confronted an x business paftner about important unfinished business. She was dazed and confused, but promised to take care of it! I feel ten tall and am dancing on air! Thank you...

[@handleguy]

Working in an alcohol and drug rehab, we had to "offend" people with the unwelcome truth that, regardless of their denial, all of their problems are not other people's fault, but are caused by their love of substances. Even though they want to believe that they need the drug to get through life, and somehow, they will figure out how to control their using and avoid all problems, we have to persist in "offending" these beliefs, but we do it in the most caring way. Still, they are offended! Everyone one has a world view that they cherish and protect at all costs. If that view includes something that is hurtful to others, we do them no favors by going along with their goofy stuff, or in accepting behavior or criticism that is hurtful to us. People don't always want the INFJs help, but that doesn't mean that we have to accept disrespect. We are doing them a disservice if we do so.

[@BlackjackMain]

Man, finding that percect balance for everything infj is hella hard. We got a lot we gotta work through for our self improvement goals, and I'm glad I'm starting this journey early, cuz it's gonna take a good amount of years in order to live my infj epic life.

[@thenickening]

it takes a life time. (duh)

[@CelebrationLuv]

@@thenickening Are you INFJ? That was rude.

[@thenickening]

@@CelebrationLuv rude is just your opinion, a reflection of yourself

[@CelebrationLuv]

@@thenickening Definitely not, don't come to an INFJ channel and say duh to people who are learning. That is very rude, and we don't need it here.

[@thenickening]

@@CelebrationLuv I'll do as I please , caring about your opinions not included

[@mlbullbooks]

True statements! This one really resonates with me. I've been sort of dealing with a difficult situation and recently confronted the person based on things I picked up from my intuition. Psychological manipulative situations can be complicated because intuition isn't valued in society, and if we INFJs notice something wrong someone does that can't logically be proven, most people won't believe us. That's why I was skeptical of saying anything. I also think a main reason INFJs keep quiet a lot is because we're natural observers and notice a lot about people others don't. If we mention everything we see that's wrong others do, the "script would flip" and most people will be ready to call us judgmental then, especially if we do it frequently. But yeah, it's still important for us to express ourselves when needed.

[@danielbast352]

How you know your infj. You found yourself watching this excellent video. 2 weeks from now you will have watched them all, and 5 other sources. You have now decided you are an expert on your self, and are currently enlightening your mind on three more subjects in the same time frame. Self love folks because you truly are special among humans.

[@wildforest6851]

YES! absolutely, I just woke up with this same conclusion and then find your video. For ages, I have been working on some issues that happened with some ex-friends and is exactly that what I needed, to just send them to hell without "having to think too much about them and care for them" rather understand that is not my place to care for them when they screwed me in the first place. Is about getting back the feeling that we (I) are worth it and that our ego is important, to even make our ego seen, to have an ego. Also is absolutely important for INFJ's to not follow the "conventional" style of therapy or psychology because let's say it, many of them are not really good therapists so they would be just reciting what they read on paper (this happened to me quite a LOT) and many of the tools that they use are the BASIC way of being for the INFJ. So I thought to just say that in case someone needs it. Also, I understand you completely about how you felt before creating your life because I feel the same way because the fact that we get better will be in and of itself a major trigger for many people around us because they just need us to be a complete mess (at least for me), that is "how they love you"... And yeah, I been depressed and suicidal for lots of years and I would always think to myself " if I die right now nobody has ever met me" and thought to myself that that was really depressing too, so the phrase "they never really met me" was and is a very common one all throughout my life. Good thing is, now I left all those people that never really bother in doing so ;)

[@derda1304]

thank you i wish you the best on your journey

[@nedthestaffieegan3452]

Oh wow your comment has actually described my predicament recently during a severe depression. It was the kind of depression that I knew that no one was able to help me, as it was going to the depths of the sadness, loneliness and utter despair at feeling so much, having so many things that I wished to share or find ways to connect in a deep enough way, where I felt like I was seen, heard and understood. The harder I tried, the further I seemed to move away from the possibilities I held in my heart where I'd find that connection, one day...but I just realised that maybe I was deluding myself and had to consider I might spend my whole life chasing an impossible dream only to pass away much later in life to extend the suffering, never having made those connections or ever having felt 'known'. I pictured a heap of dusty notebooks in boxes with the contents of my ideas, dreams and hopes for things that would never come to pass, or never even be seen by another soul. That sent me over the edge where I wept for a whole day and thought I'd never stop. A couple of days later I retook this test and discovered being an INFJ-T explained exactly why I felt this way, and that I mustn't be the only one out there.

[@derda1304]

@@nedthestaffieegan3452 who are you and why do you know me so well? :D well, at least we infj-t's are the most beautiful beings out there. At least in my eyes.

[@wildforest6851]

@@nedthestaffieegan3452 I'm sorry to hear that! I really wish you find the connections you are hoping for. And also if I may add, I would say that just when we reach that exact moment in which we realize, everything is and has already been lost for ages and there's really nothing we can do, is exactly THAT very moment, in which we really start to let go and accept fully whatever happened to us in order for us to then be able to take it to the next step. But there's no next step without reaching THAT point. So just wanted to tell you, you are right on track even if it may seem otherwise. 🤗

[@PsiWarp]

If someone is using me as an emotional outlet anchor without regard for my wellbeing, I'd listen half-heartedly and gauge the situation whether or not I should become offensive in my response. Often times when others are speaking their mind, the underlying malice festering below their mask erupts to the surface, and we INFJs can easily detect this early from intuition alone. It's the mental processing time that makes us give pause and think before we say something we'd regret, which is both a blessing (ability to construct a thorough response) and a curse (people think we're slow in the gray matter). In short, learn to stand up for yourself, but you needn't stoop to their level. You be you.

[@matthewvoorhies7840]

I liked what you said about how people might misinterpret your meaning and how that is a reflection of your own fears. I would like to add that sometimes I don't want to offend someone because I'm afraid it makes me look bad.

[@Charcoal-Ninja]

Cannot believe this came out the EXACT minute I needed this !!! Wenzes you are freaking awesome.

[@johnmichaelrichards]

How does it make me feel? It makes me feel bad and uncomfortable being me. I accept my being an INFJ. Just by being me, it can offend people as our ideologies are challenging and outside of the box that others might like to keep us in. However, that is a natural consequence of being oneself. I do not purposefully set out to offend people. There are, nonetheless, a litany of people who have been offended by what I have said. If I were to stop saying it as it is then I would not be me, I would not be authentic.

[@InnerHandsome]

The whole concept of "offending others" implies that when somebody FEELS offended (which actually isn't even a real feeling. A better question "How do you feel when you BELIEVE you have been offended?") that someone else is responsible for that triggering that feeling. This idea that someone is causing feelings in others totally ignores and short-circuits the E-M-R diagram used in CBT. Whether something is experienced as offensive is in the eye of the beholder. Offensiveness is not INHERENT in the words or actions of the INFJ (or anyone else). The same word or action could trigger laughter in another person, and tears in another. None of which is inherently an indication of "offensiveness". However, I do agree that going into pretense and not being authentic, in order to avoid or prevent potentially triggering reactions from others IS something that comes natural to INFJs, and can deteriorate into never living a truly EPIC INJ life.

[@super-intelligentastrology3572]

I called someone out for coughing all over me (not to mention the breakfast trolley at hospital ward)... And she is gone. I did it privately, as a throw-away comment in response to her asking if I had a cold. She had a hacking cough for ages, and habitually coughed like that without covering her mouth. I actually felt a cough land on my hand from several feet away. I spend my whole day killing germs to make the ward sanitary. WTF. Who does that? No longer seems to work there. Several of the women doing same job taken to harassing at me a lot. But I push back. idk if they knew she left cos of me? But I wasn't nasty. I just felt this had to be said. And I did it privately, I didn't want to wait till she did it again and call her out in front of everybody. She was a friendly person generally, more friendly to me than a lot of others. And this area is one area where I have more acceptance at my place of work. So it's not an easy thing to go through. I often forebear to argue, but at times I do push back. Sometimes it's just a body language and demeanor that says I've really had it with this person/ group of persons. Today after work I kept in mind your advice, concentrate on the 5% that is good, not the 95% that sucks hahaha... Cos I had a lot of stuff to do, and still a few people nitpicked. I let it go. Then instead of wallowing, I focused on the pleasant things. Sometimes I just tune in to the pleasant things around me in my physical environment. I think I got it from NLP.

[@nateynate42]

..legendry post Wenzes! the eternal struggle of the INFJ

[@lindateuling7862]

I try to treat people well, and to be as tactful as I can. For the most part this has served me well and it usually works. Except when it doesn't. Sooner or later I know that I will run into somebody who, no matter how well I treat him or her, will squawk about something that I'm doing or not doing, the way I look, the way I don't look, what I say or don't say .... you get the picture. How I respond will vary, depending on the situation but whatever I do, I resolve to base it on the premise that (1) I do things my way because that's what I was given to work with (2) I hope it will be compatible with what the other person would like (3) However, if It bothers the other person - well, that's life (going back to point one). I'm under no obligation to be exactly like the person I'm with - which brings me to this Shakespeare quote: "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”.

[@Ginger-yv1fg]

I have no problem pissing people off. If I have something to say that upsets them not my problem they need to check themself before they wreck the self

[@thisoldlady1105]

I feel like when I’m myself, people just naturally get offended. So, I have to stop going into myself when I read the room. I rock and if they don’t like it, oh well. If only it were that easy.

[@derda1304]

Truth. question is: Do you REALLY want to have those people in your life that get so easily offended by you being you? i try to frame this as my superpower to keep assholes away. But as you said, its not easy. There are just so many of them :D

[@thisoldlady1105]

@@derda1304 definitely a super power if used correctly. As I’ve gotten older, I’m learning to settle down about “offending” certain people. If they want to opine on THEIR side, well, then get some thick skin real quick. I’m about to use my super power to dismantle your whole argument. “The patterns were off, your stats don’t exist, and it sounds like a confirmation bias is in there with some basic smarminess. We good here?” Usually, they are speechless or pissed way off! 😂

[@otiliaradu1104]

Oh, my God, how much your videos help me, and i'm damn sure help many other INFJs too!!

[@j-us-t_be-in-g]

Wenzes...I've been feeling that way more now these days. I realize that I'm brutally honest, and it's nothing I can do to change that. If I did change that, then I wouldn't be myself.

[@avalonarkka5938]

when I do that, their immediate reply is "you're such a critic" LOL they can't figure out the truth from smear campaign

[@EclecticCoach]

You have always been such a big inspiration for me. Thank you so much for standing in your truth.... You are awesome!

[@mesenchyme0533]

Wenzes, your videos strengthen my faith in the existence of the collective unconscious. Your videos as of late, man, it makes wonder if you have a hidden video camera on my entire life right now. Message is right on time. Thanks for all you do. We really are all connected...

[@veronicajean3612]

Good luck. I am so offending in my older years. Real fun with the narcissist left over. Talk about triggering them

[@MFMc2]

I just happened on this video by accident..and it is scary to feel that you know me better than I know myself..a huge relief nonetheless as I am everything you mentioned, and for the first time in my life I know what is going on inside my disconnected self🙏 so a huge thank you for showing me it's ok to be me 😊👍🙏

[@HaleyMary]

It's true when it comes to songs. I remember when I was in high school a lot of my friends didn't like Britney Spears music and they preferred Jessica Simpson's music I think because of the way Britney dressed and some of her lyrics were more risque. I was afraid to voice my opinion that I enjoyed Britney's music for fear that my friends wouldn't like me. But, worrying about what other people think is no way to live.

[@donhammer186]

I've been called abrupt, abrasive, antagonistic... The look on faces when I explain that those are my good qualities is priceless. Being "offensive" in a positive way is an art form. A wise old friend once took exception to me calling a s.o.b. an S.O.B. He explained that it would be an intellectual challenge to the S.O.B. if I were simply ask; Does your mother run out from under the porch to bite you on the arss when you get home? So I applied this ointment the next time he tested my resolve and, much to my delight, he was left speechless and, all onlookers sent up a round of applause! LOL.

[@JT-gm4fk]

Really like this video. Authenticity is a big struggle at times. The world preaches to be yourself yet they back away when you do. Thank you for this.

[@theloner2137]

This has become easier for me to do with age because as you mature you value truth more and more and value protecting the ego less and less. How INFJ's approach each stage in life would be a fascinating discussion

[@wonderwomanx1268]

Yes it used to be e that way. Hesitancy to speak up… but now I weight the cost of cortisol and how vested in the individual. It’s a trade off for sure.

[@dreamyguessblocker4254]

I’ve always had a very hard time with being honest to others growing up I would keep quiet cuz I didn’t want to upset anyone as I grew into a teenager I realized I needed to start saying what’s on my mind. I ofc now struggle with this cuz now I’m a little too homest for the worst. I’ve always was quiet so I never knew how to. I struggle communicating how I actually feel and out into words better. Finding a balance is reallllyyy hard. Because now I’m speaking my mind but I do it too much where I hard myself and others.

[@jeremy1350]

Hi Wenzes. I loose more friends being myself and honest, than when I make myself small and obedient, and always a YES man. Because I usually sit in a room full of people and I have a very good VULCAN exterior, that belies what's going on in my head. On the few occasions that I blew a gasket in front of others, people are shocked and they turn and run for the hills screaming. As soon as I disagree with someone, or share my personal opinion about a given situation in front of me, people bolt, abandon, and ghost me. This pattern is a cycle that I have had for years and years.

[@kamilialambho8619]

Doin' it already!! ^^ problem is, people only want to act understanding when you go all supernova on them! 🤓

[@sowjanyamusunuru]

Love you!!! This video helped me open the door in my life, which I thought would be impossible. Thank you for validation.

[@dorotaem6621]

My first reaction was absolute joy! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!

[@michelledrake5055]

This was very helpful. Sometimes I take in other's perspective and see their side understanding it. The thing is I need to think about whether my perspective is someone's else or truly my owe. Maybe the other person has a good point or maybe their point does not work for me.

[@lucy7775]

I like being honest, but hurting people cuz I don't know how to choose the correct words to express myself gets me to overthink if I did wrong or not speaking my mind out, so I am trying to look for other different polite ways to say my thinking without hurting others feelings.

[@starsaligneddino]

My first reaction was confusion because I misread 'start' as 'stop'. Gotta go get my eyes checked, LOL.

[@classiccarsclassicrock9433]

I know the biggest thing about it is the fallout and guilt. You helped me here.

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

You know, I knew you didn't mean it as how the video was named, and it intrigued me because, when you know the depths, you know that there is deeper meaning in everything. You are right though, in a world that has increasingly offended people from stupid shit that never offended people back when I was a kid, it would offend someone no matter what. We do hold ourselves back and some of us for way too long, and not only does holding ourselves back offend us, it also beats us down, hurts us, bleeds us, destroys and devours us if we hold ourselves back for too long. (It is just more fuel to feed our depression if we are in one.) We have to realize that, we need break down and come out of our shells, barriers, and walls and take full control of our lives. Some of us may not be able to do it right away but over time it has to happen. Thank you Wenzes for helping me see one of my weaknesses that I always knew but didn't want to acknowledge, and don't change those eyes of yours, I love seeing those depths in there.

[@felistanjoki8824]

Am living this now and it feels amazing, i just want to avoid people at all cost and it's working fine for me. However, could you please talk about INFJ anger and feelings of Offence- would really appreciate it.

[@Mamasprincess-i9s]

And feeling superior to everyone just because you're an INFJ I'm also an INFJ and I still wanna stay social

[@shahinnilofer4888]

I have that very thought in my mind. If I can understand people and accept them why can't others do it. It's there problem. And that's a big problem. It irritates me

[@elanahammer1076]

Thank you and I appreciate your advice. Everyday I work on me. Sometimes it is easier than other days. I feel this is good advice regardless. 🤔❤️🇺🇸

[@Jeff-0621]

Just recently recognizing this very concept. I thought I was aware of, but only through recognizing and accepting I will not know everything even if offends me, did I truly see more of myself and everything else around me. Seasons give us the reason why we behave the way we do, but we all don’t react in the same degree. Like layering with clothing up during winter, and opposite that during summer. I am someone who usually feels warmer, and would continue to put myself in a situation of discomfort for others. Like increasing the temperature because someone else felt cold, and not take off a few layers clothing when I felt hot because it would make me look crazy. Letting go of the need to look crazy and not offend, by accepting I will offend is better than offending myself. It’s a superficial example but I end up going to that level if I continue to worry about how others feels. Accepting the fact I will not be accepted by everyone, lead me to start always accepting me first. The point you were trying to make, I can’t expect others to see my point of view, the way I see others. I must learn to accept that or pay the price of being inauthentic. The concept of “radical acceptance” which I feel you communicated masterfully in this video. Side note the title did slightly trigger me. Lol. But I knew you had a good reason.

[@mattandmelissablair5612]

This is exactly how I feel! Thank you so much for the video! :)

[@DIVINITYSAID]

this video is life changing. Thank you, Wenzes. ❤

[@orgnsm]

i agree with what you;re saying. however at times it gets exhausting triggering every single person who might be a match for friendship, it ensures i never get those physical chemical social needs met and seems to come close to ending my life. i've never found a way around this, so i just surrender to it even though it physically hurts my body to be isolated. at least it can't get at my self worth and i don't feel lonely anymore but there's no real reason to live on this planet in isolation.

[@dannyterrell516]

I believe authentic and sincerity of our nature causes us to lash out but it because we strongly are convinced based on logic evidence, reasoning and the information we have gathered to backup up our theory. Especially with family when we decide it's time to expose this idea or selfish behavior not intentionally it comes across as offensive or being mean or rude but in actuality we strongly feel this is what's gotta happen in order to remove or empty this bag of purified justification. If we don't it might come out senseless meaningless harmful destructive behavior which reveals the frustration of having the responsibility of knowledge, wisdom, intuition, logic and justification.

[@TheMichaelseymour]

i now know why i am a lonewolf - i know that i can live in solitude because if i really said what i thought - i would be in solitude anyway ! So i am just cutting out the middle man !

[@travisbartholomay]

Hi. How are you. Your really good at being a coach. Thank you.

[@بالجيريان]

This video is amazing and so are you. God Bless much love

[@TheFl33s]

Keep em coming Wenzes! This has helped a bunch🙏🏾

[@charlesschrack2377]

Definitely caught my attention right away, but I get what you're saying. I dig that . Real talk. You are awesome. I'm just finding out about all this. I really thought I was alone, why nobody felt or thought I do. Thank you

[@dayinibatrisyia5424]

Your video make me realize my power

[@richardrenzetti4775]

Going back to that concept that several people are as profound as a bowl of soup. Marcus Aurelius had reasons to be standoffish and concerned about the powers of precepting of others.

[@meralguzey..ph.d538]

Nice job! Thank you Wenzes. ..

[@KPGuitarStudios]

Wenzes, you mention music so much! You've got me incredibly curious as to what you listen to? I'm a metalhead so people tend to get offended by my music choice. Fortunately I stopped caring about that aspect many years ago and yes, I've met incredible people in the metal music space ever since. Now I need to keep doing more of these types of things. Your channel is helping me greatly so thank you so much! :)

[@-jamie-9896]

The timing this message.. thank you for the video.

[@jonathanbetsuie2753]

Great video

[@johnmiller9654]

Thank you for helping me

[@radicalhonesty3628]

what arises in me as I watch this video: is my inability to let go of, and forgive, the past. I am raped by the past. it tortures me and fills me: with grief and regret and guilt and rage. I wish great suffering on those that I loathe. I wish upon them horrific pain. I don't know how I will ever heal. I am tortured...

[@Pinkdaimonddragon]

It has happened to me many times. I just walk away.

[@derda1304]

pure wisdom...

[@Mamasprincess-i9s]

Wenzes authentic doesn't mean being arrogant

[@MansoorDC]

You gotta be odd to be #1.

[@avanellehansen4525]

I have the tendency to soft pedal so much that less sensitive people don't get it. When an overfunctioning, overgiving neighbor kept coming over every day...sometimes three times a day, i dropped hints. "You dont need to come over every day, or I'm not as gregarious as you are, or i really value my solitude.", etc. I thought i was being so rude when i finally said, "give me a chance to miss you!" Nope. She 8s a caeegiver for her husband with dementia and i knew that she needed a break. I actuality brike out 8n shingles from the frustration. I shut it down with a door slam and by suggesting other neighbirs that might be a better fit for her. Ahh. Peace and solitude.

[@INFJparadox]

This is especially true in the work place, because anyone can get offended about anything--now more than ever with cancel culture. All they have to do is *report you or gossip to convince everyone. You have zero defense because you're already perceived in a certain way. Also, it depends on who says it--like managers and higher ups who can do no wrong. So yes, I have always been extremely careful in choosing my words. Recently, I gave my *suggestions to one of my bosses. Not offensive in any way and she asked. My *suggestions had to do with time management and streamlining between the attorneys and practice assistants. I'm sure this did not sit well even though I padded the *suggestions. And why is it more offensive when it comes from an INFJ?

[@One12KitBashingCrimes]

Damn, it’s true .

[@flynneart1111]

Always been blunt. Ya it offended people but I never mean to hurt anyone learned tact but still blunt

[@nives444]

omg this is so true that i’m actually scared

[@Hi-pt2js]

yo no decia nada malo cuando las personas cercanas a mi o mis propios amigos me decian cosas ofensivas o para que me sienta menos que ellos o para que tenga menos confianza en mi misma algo asi como que yo no era tan inteligente como ellos, por eso me traicionaron, desde ahi ya no tengo amigos, no porque no quiero sino porque ya no encuentro a personas que esten a mi lado como esas personas que me ofendian estaban, pero fue mejor decir la verdad aunque estuvo mal mandar todo por mensaje de texto, debido a que estoy viviendo una adolescencia tardia creo

[@gabbycalleja8279]

I think its all just comes naturally, recently i have been doing this. This hard and real talk, if i say so. But i know it will also hurt me, so i still try to think before i speak anything.

[@DigitalArtisan77]

No. Everybody in a soci-dominant hierarchy needs to lie to spare feelings and/or avoid confrontation. Thats a great drain on INFJ as is the compromise for quality or efficiency or whats right only to spare momentary reactive feelings of others. A grown INFJ is almost certainly leadership material and sitting under poor leadership is also a pain shared for all under it.

[@rosemontoya3656]

Please update your channel according to dates.....WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️’’’’’God willing🙏🏼

[@classiccarsclassicrock9433]

Why do we do this?

[@kimtopology4257]

Fi is bout authenticity Fe is about making people feel valued an cared about INFJ'S are like that with their Fe Fi is all about how they feel and they focus on their happiness then they can help others INFP'S are all about authenticity .

[@caldocaloso6595]

I'm 14, and I only have 2 friends at school, but I would want to have someone to talk about my emotions. I feel so lonely at school, when someone goes to my desk and asks me why I'm so quiet I act like I don't have emotions being cold and logic. I just want to help other people with their problems, but nobody asks me. The other boys are always talking about football and other topics that bore me a lot. What can I do?

[@aruraru6644]

It's ok that some things aren't interesting to you. There are people, who want to talk with other people just for talking, but to be honest it may be waste of time, energy and attention for others, at least when it isn't interesting, needed or important. Some people may be worried is it everything ok with you, but it's normal that not everyone has to like the same things. You may for example prefer to lern how to draw instead of talking about nothing like self development. You may also not want to talk much about it because just why when it doesn't look like someone needs an advice, which you could give to help.

[@caldocaloso6595]

@@aruraru6644 thanks

[@rosemontoya3656]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Blessings♥️ Only we know😢😘😘

[@michaelw9680]

were usually correct though aren't we

[@klarafall4281]

Looking closely, I think I never offend, but my words are taken, misread (personal) and weaponized against themselves. Then out of nowhere a response produced like: how could you say that! why do you have critize everything! And these are really not questions, but accusations. I love them but it just wasnt me, criticizing. I critize abstract things, thoughts, principles. Im always on the same team with the other doing that. I guess they expect to hear what feels good unconditionally. I imagine they wear a jacket with pillows on the outside but spikes on the inside. And when you hug them, they are hurt. Revealing truth to someone is such a hug.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

This is true. Yet there is another side of the coin. When ppl who know you well enough to know better than project certain ideas on you. They do it anyway. This is a prime example of, "No, I don't feel that way about myself. This is the universe allowing me to choose myself and get far away from these f-tards because they don't deserve my presence." That's a thing too. I don't have to convince anyone of anything. That's kinda the point of the video just wanted to add this perspective. Sometimes people test the waters and find out it's hot and don't get a second chance to reoffend. T'was life. ❤

[@ryanunderwood5465]

We done had enough.. 😂😂

[@marcelinogalicia7612]

This is only a thought, listen to comedy, and laugh a lot. Be happy! Wenzes. You speak from your heart. As for me, I'm just a person curious about the world.