why we had mixed emotions when we found out we were pregnant | couple things with shawn and andrew

[@pattibrown2422]

Love how Shawn said, "Ladies, if you get pregnant... tell the world." My Grandma always said, "the earlier you tell everyone you are pregnant, the earlier they can start praying for you and your baby. If you don't tell anyone during those critical first months, nobody knows they need to be praying for you."

[@susancarlisle418]

I completely agree here!

[@madisondavison8]

Please interview Thomas Rhett and Lauren Akins about their adoption story!

[@mahrieaderksen]

I also think the stigma is wrong. I told my family about my pregnancy at 5 weeks because i was just too excited and i knew that if i did miscarry, i wanted them to know and be by my side to support me. I also appreciated the extra prayers for my baby in that vulnerable time.

[@tiffanymackey2382]

Yes, there certainly shouldn't be a stigma! If people want to wait (as we did with our first), I support that, but I think we should stop encouraging people to wait until 12 weeks to share.

[@weinlove510]

Shawn, I feel the same way. I told my close friends as soon as I knew because if I lost the baby I would have a group of people that would pray and grieve with me. Each baby should be celebrated.

[@virginiawheeler1494]

My daughter died in 1995. She was a premie and only lived for two hours. I met my husband six years later and we married in 2005. After years of trying we tried fertility treatments and got pregnant only to miscarry a few weeks later. We got pregnant again in 2013 and lost that pregnancy at 10 weeks. It was heartbreaking and we struggled for awhile especially me. I felt guilty not being able to give my husband a child. But through the grace of God and our church family and friends we were able to come to the other side and realize this was God’s plan. Now we are parents of three Great Danes and God has blessed us in other ways. I’m so glad God pulled you through your miscarriage and blessed you with beautiful Drew Hazel. Enjoy the ride and keep posting videos. Is there a baby two in the future?

[@andreia93x]

I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago and these podcasts have helped me so much. Thank you for sharing your story and giving me hope. ❤️

[@asherslovesyams]

I laughed because I do listen on my way to work Andrew lol but the reason I do is because i crave substance conversations. Thank you both for being open. ❤️

[@AlisonMulvale]

I love the discussion you guys were having around the 20 minute mark (as tough as it is to have) on when to share baby news. I recently started expecting for the first time, and since my parents had a miscarriage that did have a pretty significant impact (was around 16-20 weeks) on my family's life growing up when I first found out I wasn't sure what I wanted to share and when. I ultimately decided at I think gestational week 4 or 5 that I would start telling my immediate family because no matter what happened our pregnancy was real as it could ever be for us and if we did have any ups and downs we wanted our support system there for us. We're still in really early days hoping things continue to go well, but in my gut I know the decision we made was right for our family, and I think ultimately couples need to go with whatever feels right for them.

[@marciefinn6295]

Thank you for being open and honest about such a personal subject such as a miscarriage.i had a miscarriage at work in the bathroom and my office manager was knocking on the door, I told her to call my OBGYN and say I will be right over..I had a very unsupportive boss. I was in tears knowing I lost our baby girl (just a gut feeling). Well I got pregnant soon after with a precious baby boy! Shawn and Andrew you have helped me in so many ways. Thank you ❤️

[@karenweigold3659]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt all those same fears that Shawn expressed when I got pregnant one year (almost to the day) after a miscarriage. Every moment of every day is terrifying! I also felt concerned that you should keep it quiet to protect myself from the pain, but this perspective of share and celebrate every baby - I think you're 100% right. It's scary, and it sounds super healthy!

[@TommyJordanRE]

Thank you guys for being so open with your marriage and relationship, we know this video will help a lot of couples out there

[@shawnandandrewpods]

We appreciate you!

[@nicoleschuler6465]

I really love what you said about sharing about pregnancy early, Shawn. I was afraid to tell my extended family because I was scared about miscarriage, but my dad encouraged me to, so that my family could all pray for me and my baby. I’ve also heard that if women shared early and suffered a miscarriage, that the ones they told can be there for them and support them through their loss, rather than if they didn’t know.

[@amandalynnhartman]

I literally aspire to have such a healthy relationship with my significant other as you two do! I feel that I have gained so much knowledge of how to work through hardships and celebrate the good things in life from you guys!

[@jillchamberlain6478]

The hurt is there no matter what. But you’re right about the celebration and the mourning. It’s a delicate balance, and every couple has to decide what is best for themselves and their families.

[@ashleyzellers147]

I had a miscarriage in August of 2016, got pregnant with little Lillyanna in 2019 and we told everyone at 8 weeks because I wanted to celebrate ! :)

[@tiffanymackey2382]

Thank you for having the courage to share your story. We waited to share our news until after 12 weeks with our first because we didn't want to celebrate with everyone and then have to tell everyone if we lost the baby. It somehow seemed like it would be shameful or embarrassing, which I see is ridiculous now. The hard part for me was that I had terrible morning sickness from weeks 6-12 (and beyond) and had to hide it. With our second pregnancy, we told people right away. It has been so much easier to have the support of others, even if it is just them asking how I'm doing and me being able to say that I've been pretty nauseated lately, or being able to explain that I can't handle certain food smells.

[@jhnnewsomthings9421]

I miscarried twice. Once a baby at 16 weeks and had to get a D&C due to the stage of pregnancy. Then at 11 weeks along in between my two youngest children. My husband and I struggled but it definitely made our marriage stronger. Thank you guys both for being so open to discussing this. And yes, Shawn, every baby and life should be celebrated; I agree!

[@bulldog6925]

It is important to remember that the male perspective is based only on emotions whereas for the female, in addition to her emotions, there the hormonal changes that were taking place are suddenly interrupted. It is a blessing that you are willing to help others by BOTH of you discussing your individual point of view. When my wife miscarried 50 years (!) ago, it seemed that the reaction of others was to make light of it, including light jokes about the situation.

[@hoarosalez3597]

I loved the point you made Shawn about telling the whole world about your pregnancy when you find out. After experiencing a loss before my current rainbow baby pregnancy, I agree with the statement. Having people there who knew about the pregnancy after the loss gave us a support system, I felt less alone. I was able to have the difficult conversation of the miscarriage with those who experienced it which helped me move through the waves of sadness and hurt of it all. I wish the word "miscarriage" wasn't so taboo. Every pregnancy is a blessing and a miracle to this world! Thank you for sharing

[@susancarlisle418]

Amen.

[@susietheballerina]

My philosophy was to tell anyone early-on who I would want to be there for me if I did suffer a miscarriage. We told family and close friends right away and then waited to announce on social media until after our genetic screening at 12-13 weeks because that's what felt most comfortable for us. I'm fully in support of people announcing as early or as late as they would like to and not just waiting until ~12 weeks because they think they have to ❤️

[@chantelgilley7677]

These are my favorite videos on your podcast!! I think because I’ve gone through this myself that being able to relate to what you are saying and feeling like I can relate to you so much!! LOVE THESE! It would be cool if you could maybe pick some of the people who have emailed stories and maybe have them on your podcast or reach out to them and figure out a way to have one big show with everybody and maybe one question for each person to answer about there own experience!!

[@ashleymartinez7405]

I had 2 babies and miscarried my 3rd. I waited 12 weeks to announce and lost my baby at 15 week's.... we weren't trying when we concived our rainbow baby... i didn't want to announce it ever... i wasn't excited i was terrified... hubby thi wanted to announce it so we did at about 8 weeks. I now have my beautiful rainbow baby... its so hard to know what and when to announce after a miscarriage. I never thought after 2 babies it would happen to me but it did...and at 15 weeks... its so hard.. thank you for bringing this to light its so common and I feel like people don't talk about it. Good to know we are not alone

[@shawnandandrewpods]

Congratulations 🎉

[@ashleymartinez7405]

@@shawnandandrewpods thank you!

[@melissajackson3999]

When our oldest child was 2 1/2 years old, we found out I was pregnant with triplets. To make a very long and painful story short, we ended up losing all three precious babies - two to miscarriage and our third baby passed away shortly after birth. When I became pregnant again 8 months later, I did not want to tell anyone. I had so much fear. Shawn, you're so right that when your brain goes through trauma, it remembers it, and almost "normalizes" it, making you in a way expect to have the same outcome. This was true for me even though our first child had been born without any major difficulties. Thankfully, my husband convinced me that we had to tell people early so that again, we could be covered in their prayers. He was right. It was such a help to me knowing that so many people were praying for us and our baby, who was born healthy. Thank you for your vulnerability. Miscarriage and infant loss happen so much more often than people realize and it's so important to talk about and be able to grieve those losses in a healthy way.

[@AndreaJaydn]

You are a warrior and I hope your reunion in Heaven will be everything!

[@oboesax22]

Thankyou for sharing your story. I totally get Shawn’s POV regarding sharing the news when it happens. Andrews pov about sharing and opening yourself up to a world of hurt, that’s true. But also you’re going to feel that hurt no matter what. Keeping your news to yourself makes your mourn in silence and alone; or at least without the support system that is needed to heal from that loss.

[@laurene1389]

I see your perspective on women instantly sharing a pregnancy/loss...however, some people simply prefer to keep things private. We all handle situations differently and there's nothing wrong with that.

[@lisagrace6471]

Agreed

[@caderuoff9329]

I know I can’t ever go through what Shawn went through being a guy. But I want to give you a hug so bad

[@mckenziejackola3271]

I loved this. I also had a miscarriage in 2017. I found out I was pregnant in October after trying for 5 months and I was elated. Flash forward a couple weeks and the bleeding started. I was home alone, my husband was at work, and I was hysterical. Instantly I thought the baby was gone. I had an ultrasound around 6 weeks and we were able to hear a heartbeat. My happiness was restored and since they told me that everything looked good and that after you hear a heartbeat that the chances of miscarriage go way down, we told our families. Flash forward to thanksgiving, when I was about 10 weeks, and I start bleeding heavily. We were having thanksgiving dinner at my husbands grandparents house and I had went to the bathroom and discovered the blood. I truly thought that I was going to have to flush my baby. I couldn’t do it. I cried alone in the bathroom not knowing what to do. My husband and I ended up going home. I called my mom and my aunt whose a nurse and they consoled me, telling me it’s in gods hands. The baby is either safe in the arms of Jesus or safe in my belly. I waited another week and finally got to see my doctor for the first time. I was still very sick with morning sickness so I was still hopeful. “There’s a baby in there!” My doctor said. But then we quickly realized that the baby was not moving and there was no flickering heartbeat. I had triple checks, before finally giving up hope and getting a d&c a week later. I couldn’t handle the morning sickness knowing that my baby was gone. In saying all this, my grandpa told me some wise advice when I got pregnant again. “Tell everyone” he said. He said get excited the moment you see that positive pregnancy test, because even if you try to stuff down your excitement and guard yourself, it’s still going to hurt, and you never got to feel the true high. So I did. Also, as Shawn said, he said that you want to tell people so that people can pray, either way it goes. Knowing myself, if I didn’t tell people and I miscarried again and someone asked how I was doing, I wouldn’t tell them. I wouldn’t want to bring them down into my pain. So I say tell them! Celebrate those babies as Shawn said ❤️❤️

[@danielleemma317]

I have been watching Couple Things for a while now . Thank you guys for being opened about your relationship and miscarriage

[@Prettygirlcn5]

I liked that thought of telling people so they can also share in praying and supporting you-Because I can relate that importance to other situations, like for me, the fear of a job search and then not wanting to tell everyone that it didn’t work out. But it’s better to have that support in the end 🤔❤️

[@genamartin229]

Life is fragile at best. If it’s not a God thing....it’s not a thing. You make so much sense Shawn....I think you were protecting yourself from your previous experience because at that point, you had nothing else to compare it to. Then... ahhhh.....Drew Hazel is a TOTALblessing! You two, being famous/well known, were not and ARE not immune to the realities of the human experience. I thank you so much for sharing your life experiences and being able to communicate them authentically to your community. I love you all! 🙏🏻💞😘👶🏻🐕

[@teriolsgard7672]

We were 22 when we had our daughter and drs said we could not have anymore kids. We were content with just one child So 5 years no birth control and I missed my period and I’m on time every month. Took a test and it was positive. We call our son a Miracle. Now they are 32 and 27 and now we are grand parents. Bring a grandparent is awesome.

[@amykristic2980]

I agree with Shawn in regards to women/couples sharing their pregnancies before the 12wk mark bc the topic of miscarriage is still not talked about enough. If we opened up more about it and share the emotions that we deal with and how we get through them it would be beneficial for anyone listening or watching. Women helping women 💪🏼

[@belleploetz6131]

Love y'all so much! The podcast is so entertaining!

[@becks609]

I’ve had three miscarriages in 8 months this year, and I told most people each time. It is the most awful season of our lives, and I’m so thankful for how kind my husband has been through it. The support and love I received from everyone around me upon losing those babies was so helpful. People mourned with me and didn’t expect me to be this happy, buoyant individual, and there was a village of shoulders to lean on. That said, I know not all people have such support systems. There are people who’s families and friends are selfish, not understanding, unhelpful and unkind through the awfulness that is miscarriage. I love that my babies were celebrated and mourned, but I also had the people around me who did that well. If I didn’t, I’m not sure I would have said anything for future pregnancies. While it breaks my heart to know that moms go through the trauma of miscarriage completely isolated, I also understand why people make that choice. It’s really depends upon you as a person and those who are around you. If you want to tell the world, tell the whole world and don’t feel badly about it because of some “etiquette.” If you want to keep it to yourself for a while, that’s totally fine, too. These decisions have so many complexities built into them. 😀

[@Kaitimorris]

Loo-terror in pregnancy is so awful!! 😖 I also agree with Shawn that if we have another baby I want to share early because I know I would want the support if something doesn’t go right and I want my baby to be celebrated but I think it’s important for people to do what they feel is right for them.

[@kadoradork4228]

btw I love how Andrew giggles every time he says „naked time“🤣

[@athenawatkins7714]

Love you guys. Thank you for being so open. 🥰

[@thenataliejune]

I think that if people did tell others early on it might open the dialogue about how common miscarriages are. It might help women realize they are not alone. It may start society openly talking about miscarriages. Also like Shawn said every baby is a blessing and should be celebrated. It doesn't matter how much time they have spent on this earth. My cousin and his wife now have 3 healthy children. Their first child passed during childbirth. They stuck together, grieved together and it made them stronger as a married couple. My cousin is a police officer and his wife is a high school math teacher. I asked his wife once how she isn't constantly in a state of anxiety because of my cousins profession. She said when Everly Rose passed, it made them realize how short life can be and how things can change in an instant. She said this taught them to live their lives cherishing every moment instead of living in fear.

[@sararothwell9350]

After going through a miscarriage at 13 weeks myself, I would advocate with sharing early with some. As in, your chosen few “safe” people. You can’t control how other people will react to good or hard news nor should that be your responsibility. And your people will be more likely to deal with the hard news and the good news with the love you need, if that makes sense! ☺️

[@beckycannon4061]

Love The East Family. Keep doing what you do. ❤️

[@dlford627]

My daughter announced all 4 of hers as soon as she found it. My Mom thought she should wait until she was 12 weeks. I always told my Mom that even if something happened, my daughter would need the support. My Mom miscarried (which I never knew until I was 20-my Dad didn’t know Mom had never told us) and was scared of losing a great-grandbaby as we lost my nephew at 23-5/7 weeks. One of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. He was so perfect, but too tiny!

[@Riley21948]

I enjoy watching your videos. Please keep em coming.

[@tamesharidgell3071]

1st like and comment. Yay. I love you guys so much

[@kadoradork4228]

I‘ve learned so much from this podcast! ❤️

[@heartstrings9209]

I feel like the point that you’re trying to make, in saying to tell the world, is that so many of us who experience a loss feel alone, because it is not talked about. When I went thru my miscarriage, I felt alone. I did not realize just how common it truly is. Because people don’t share. And it is totally okay not to share. But it is ok TO share. It can help you feel not so alone. And it can make you feel like it is not your fault, because it does happen often, unfortunately.

[@jillchamberlain6478]

Don’t beat yourself up. Of course you were protective of yourself after the hurt of losing your first.

[@leekillman802]

Thanks for sharing another part of your story

[@lisamcgrath3132]

A really great vlog, thank you for sharing your hearts💞

[@tamikasken2130]

Great podcast!! I didn’t have a miscarriage but my daughter was born with birth defects, so I can kind of relate. There is so much more to my story.....if you ever want to reach out, I would be happy to share. ❤️ you both and Drew Hazel

[@danielleemma317]

Yes we should not avoid emotion!! As humans we need to let out our emotions and feelings!

[@dottyjones3346]

I appreciate your openness. Thank you!!’

[@victoriadrahus8020]

Love you guys for sharing this hard time you went through. It helps with seeing the bright side of my hard time I’m still dealing with it (mrkh) 💕💕💕

[@gracegreenwell2657]

I waited 12 weeks for telling ppl about my 1st 2 pregnancies and with my 3rd I just couldnt wait to at 8 weeks I totally did it!

[@shawnandandrewpods]

Congratulations!

[@sonyalafoy5772]

Very good episode 😍 I love listening to your story!

[@TheTuesday11]

I totally agree with you Shawn, CELEBRATE every pregnancy, every life. It’s actually a soul, that was given to us by God Himself. It’s a miracle!!! It’s time for us to stop hiding, come out and share our child, even if the child doesn’t come into our arms. Celebrate Life,

[@txnishhh304]

I feel Shawn 10000000% when we start trying again if I get pregnant I want to also wait longer but I agree with the prayers early in for the baby and everything but I don’t think I will my first was born with my same CHD

[@kimschwartzbroadhurst9199]

Thank you for sharing.

[@joankgillette]

I announced my pregnancy with my son at 6 weeks and with my last pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage/d&c I announced at 5 weeks. Anything can happen at any point in a pregnancy unfortunately and loss happens a lot more than people talk about. I’m thankful since I had an Anembryonic pregnancy (blighted ovum) that there was no embryo which meant there was no baby which hurt my heart less. I couldn’t imagine having another that was a baby or even worse still birth. I wish things like that didn’t happen in the world.

[@mmelissa19831]

Love yall so much

[@kelseybelow1441]

Wait, why aren't these newer episodes on Spotify? I thought ya'll were taking a podcast break!!!

[@mpdaugherty8549]

I love watching. Thank you

[@kristenmiller9712]

I completely agree Shawn, the tradition of waiting is set up as a false wall of protection. Women need to share their loss as a part of the healing process, but you can’t share the loss without sharing the pregnancy. Society has put this 12 weeks in place and it tends to make women feel foolish for even wanting to share the gift God gave them of conception of a child for 3 months... Love always opens you up to deeper pain. But the love is real and true regardless of loss or pain, and living in fear isn’t how He calls His children to live. “But in all things give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” In ALL things give thanks. Thank you for sharing. I love hearing this message and so honored by both of your vulnerability to the world in sharing.

[@christinawalsh]

Andrew “we were making pizza” lol last thing he was expecting Shawn: we making babies 😂🤣

[@johndenton5300]

It should never be the woman's problem to have to live with the pain alone. Family should always be available to support you and want to be a part of you and your child's life, even if that child doesn't make it to birth. Yes, the family will hurt if the child doesn't make it to delivery, but I believe every family member should want to share in your pain, the same way they want to share in your joy.

[@rebeccagallacher2838]

I know it feel I losses my son at three months and i Bleed all over my friends bed and the father didn’t care.

[@AndreaJaydn]

You and your baby are worth SO much more that that! I hope you'll have a beautiful experience at some point

[@danniosborne4078]

Hey, I like the work you guys do, keep it up, I’m following you both on Instagram; I have never see a name “Shawn” as a female name, that’s kinda cool, take care, please remember to use your health safety protocols during the pandemic, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance❣️👋🏻😯🤔😌😷☃️🎄👍🏻

[@allisonpilier6169]

love you guys

[@slytherinnyc]

that window again... i feel like something/someone is just going to popout... lol

[@shawnandandrewpods]

😂😂

[@slytherinnyc]

@@shawnandandrewpods andrew, maybe a scary prank on shawn through that window... hehehehhe

[@ashleyjackson2759]

I haven’t had a job since the pandemic I really need the money. To help pay for things

[@brittanychandler6210]

I wasn’t sure if you meant the first video ever on the channel or the first one posted on the channel lol.... but... @brittleanne is my Instagram handle! I would love to win today’s giveaway and use the $500 from native on all my nephews. My finance and I do not have babies of our own yet, but we have 7 nephews total and one about to be born the end of this month. Being an auntie is the best thing in my life and nothing makes me happier then to spoil all my boys. Almost a total of 8 costs a lot of money though lol 🤣 P.S. I love your little family so much and Drew couldn’t be more adorable. Thank you for sharing posts of her with the world, I love watching her grow. I knew you guys were going to make amazing parents ♥️

[@carolinalarios7062]

Hey y’all . Not sure if this is where I have to sign up for the giveaway. But I’ll just go ahead and do this everywhere, lol. This would HELP SO MUCH, I’ve been stressing these last few weeks on gifting my kiddos.@carolinaaliciaaa

[@kristinoxman9533]

Love your podcast! Would love to win the money to pay for Christmas gifts for my two littles (Kristin Oxman)

[@ninahernandez8571]

@ninaaahernandez i'd also love to fulfill a child's holiday wishlist this year!

[@jamikirk7396]

Jami.k_ I could Really use the money for our new baby coming in May.

[@annaneal3964]

I don’t have an Instagram but you can contact me through Facebook. My husband has Instagram though! I would really really love to provide Christmas for my family and help pay off debt. We are a single income family and it would mean a lot to help my husband financially! I’m currently going back to school after having our daughter in September of 2019.

[@bradsvoboda6545]

@disvobo The reason I want this cash is because I want to buy my kids extra presents. We had to cancel our Disney trip this year due to Covid.

[@zb9144]

@zman8774 Hey guys I’m saving money up for a trip and this would go a long way.

[@stephaniemartin7069]

@estefimartin on IG. I would like to give this cash to the aid that took care of my dad in his memory care home until he passed 4 months ago. She treated him like her own dad!!

[@genecismelgar1711]

IG-theblackestbeautiful13 I would love to give my beautiful daughter a perfect Christmas she deserves with gifts and also visit our family for the holidays.

[@miriamfernandez5150]

I hope this is the right video! I’d like to win bec 2020! It’s been a roughy year and I had a baby in the middle of it! I’d like to win to do a staycation with my husband for our 8 yr anniversary in Jan @mgfern915 Thanks!

[@madalynpowers7277]

Reason I’m entering the $500 gift card giveaway: to help pay off college debt!! Just a struggling nursing student working during the pandemic 😩 I graduate in May!!! Yay!!!!!

[@caderuoff9329]

Is anyone else a guy watching this.

[@shawnandandrewpods]

We have a lot of guys who watch :)

[@ninahernandez8571]

@ninaaahernandez !!! this money would help me pay my rent and help me buy my family christmas gifts! pick me pick me!

[@lauracooper9837]

Laura_c32 The reason I want the $500 is to be able to provide christmas for a needy family in my church

[@Amped4Life]

I do not find myself interested in your podcast even though I am so extremely happily married and have been with my now husband for 10 years - and his wife, the wife of my best friend, the love of my life, my *world*, my hot hubby, for 4 years. I like both Shawn and her hubs, but they cover so much baby news and baby talk. My husband and I do not want a child anytime in our life and are permanently prevented pregnancy (although we love kids and children and believe in investing in children's futures and wellbeing via volunteering because kids are future of the world!) Shawn/Andrew, if you see my comment, please remember there are couples who choose not to be parents but who do still want to enjoy and relate to your content. I feel that you may be not trying to capture my "market segment" of non-parent couples. If that's true, no worries and ignore us! Just thought you would appreciate the feedback from a non-child couple who wishes we connected more with your content. Show more non-baby/kid stuff if you do want non-parent viewers! I am about to unsubscribe.

[@rachellipker9020]

I’m pretty sure every other week they’re talking to couples about their relationship on this podcast. This is just a series on their baby journey. They just posted a video on a date night in. If you’re not interested, don’t watch but I think they are providing non-baby related content too.

[@shawnandandrewpods]

Thank YOU for letting us know! We do have a wide variety guests. Do you have a guest suggestion?

[@thenataliejune]

@@shawnandandrewpods I know you didn't ask me and this is opposite of what she wants but I would love for you guys to have Nikki and Artem on.