Why You Buy Into Narcissist’s Simulated Existence

You misidentify him with the introjects that he triggers, makes him feel real.
Assembles, on the fly, elements from your mind and psyche, makes him feel familiar.
Attribution error: behaviors attributed to inner essence, not to environmental cues and stimuli.
If he is truly empty, who is doing the acting? A program, a code.
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[@CensorshipRunWild]

Prof Sam has taught me so much about narcissism I actually pity my family instead of hating them.

[@braveheart1870]

Pity the whole world we live in a world full of loony people

[@J.W.Little]

Same.

[@paulahansen4102]

Same❤

[@Countcho]

Same..

[@ak-47intelligence75]

When I entered the simulated reality , I realised, the emperor has no clothes.

[@robertjames7859]

With every video the image becomes clearer for me of what narcissism is

[@Jazzmarcel]

me too!..........

[@user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap]

Behavior

[@lundsweden]

Well, in some cases where the narcissist is our parent, we don't get much of a choice. I started to realise my Dad was this way by teenage years. My reality check was the rest of the world didn't agree with his abusive narrative. I only saw him once a fortnight for one day anyway. But it took far longer to realise my Mother was a covert narcissist. I've forgiven them, have compassion for them but I won't visit my Father. Mother is gone. I don't feel any anger or bitterness anymore, actually I just wish things have been different. Narcissism robbed me of good parents, and robbed them of their humanity and a feeling of long term satisfaction and contentment. They both ended life alone, bitter angry and dissatisfied. This doesn't make me happy at all, but there's nothing I could've done to change anything.

[@khanaliqasim1757]

Thanks for sharing your experience,it is enlightening in a way

[@sunflowerhealth1616]

Having narcissistic parents is one of the greatest challenges a soul can chose for this lifetime!... Might I suggest this exercise?... ...Relax deeply both mind and body - maybe in a massage or yoga session, or while in a nature-location that is magical for you, then repeating, with wide-open-awareness [for what the answer might be and how it will come] AND after first LETTING GO of any 'TRYING' to find' the answer... "I chose narcissistic parents because..." Keep repeating the question, noting how your energy and emotional state shifts as you do so... until the answer comes! If the answer does not come to his soul-centric question, and the question becomes increasingly difficult to ask, shift to this ego-centric question... "Being an abuse/neglect survivor serves me in the following ways..." Let me know how it goes! 🙏

[@semibig4822]

Every time when you playfully laugh I started to laugh... It's contagious 😂 that's already therapy for me ❤ thank you for all your lectures, huge support for my mental health

[@julieprice488]

Same😅

[@Trashpanda888]

I was waiting for the day when AI's false warmness would be compared to a narc. Didn't take long lol.

[@sucasanursingcenterinc.xxx2028]

This explains their robotic like demeanor, and why I always felt uneasy around her. Of course I, like so many others, ignored the red flags which constantly appeared during the relationship.

[@MeowMeow-yw5xt]

Professor, if you only knew how brilliant and accurate your theories are. When I first met that man I almost turned around and left. But something made me stay,I guess I didn't want to be rude to leave (first mistake not reacting to the gut feeling). Then I fell under influence because for the whole time he was talking about himself,his business, how he likes to have everything in life brought to perfection, about all of his virtues(that are seen and recognised by others).Then about his family, his famous and influential friends. Whole this conversation did not sound like bragging because he made sure to look like those are facts about his life.And our first date lasted 9 hours.I was so much under his influence since that day. He kept repeating same phrases plus he kept replying same songs whole night and throughout the whole relationship which lasted 3 years. It's crazy now that I think about it how he brainwashed me without even trying. It comes so natural to him.

[@user-vp7kn3js4x]

Witnessing one of them 'glitching' is deeply disturbing 😱

[@michaelzell5905]

And they glitch all the time if you pay attention.

[@lv5584]

I saw my covert narc mother glitch last summer. I was in my room , she knew I was in it . She walked in like a zombie , it was the creepiest experience to witness . My jaw was on the floor . I knew by this point she was glitching . I’ll never ever forget that moment ! Creepppyy

[@hiron-yf7wq]

Abuse by proxy with this is devastating

[@Acoffeewithlotta]

Prof Vaknin. You are brilliant. Thank you.

[@Dystopia2024]

It is so enlightening having Prof. Vaknin explaining and confirming so clearly in academical terms what I long suspected with my now deceased narcissistic parents (covert + overt). There was nothing in there but a desert, a vacuum, an imitation of human being. In a rare slip of the mask, my mum once said: "words cut through the mind like drops of water carve through the rock". A statement that in my view reveals an awareness and will beyond that of simple programming but more in line with a goal-oriented psychopath who thinks she is immune from the consequences of her actions. She failed.

[@Dystopia2024]

​​@@nikhook1114 So what? Explanation is no justification: being abused does not give you the automatic justification to abuse others. Or else the result is an endless loop of abuse through generations. I do not buy it. It's up to you as an adult to outgrow any abuse you may have received, not to project your issues on others and repeat the vicious cycle. Most children born out of a narcissistic parent do not become narcissists. Many people who have been abused do not go on abusing others. You have a choice and a responsibility as an individual not to be stuck in hurt baby-land forever and not to "project" onto others.

[@Countcho]

Thank you so much. The narc contracted me, I instantly felt extremely crazy, but found reality again through your video.

[@zelenavyplesyze8333]

Dear Sam. Your genuine explanations make me feel, that if you would be an gnostic priest, i'd visit your gnostic liturgies.

[@KathleenMorrison-no4id]

I agree with everything you say due to your education and experiences; althought my heart keeps saying to me "But Sam has never met my marvelous narcissist." He only put me down once because I answered back quickly that he was the real reason for saying that insult!"🎉 He was very polite and he was the most understanding and caring man I'd ever met in my whole life. He lifted my mind and heart higher than it ever was before! It's difficult to fully believe. ( I don't really want to believe!) I didn't marry him. He was married and divorced 3 times in 5 years after I married my husband. I'd run into him once in awhile. He was nice but he always asked, " Would you cheat on your husband?" I'd always told hm, "No!" I think he could have won an Oscar for best Actor for Three Years. And, me as one of his supporting actress. It's difficult coming to the end of the fantasy. Thanks, Sam, for helping me to slowly grow up and face the music!

[@diyaaabbadi8394]

Please talk about when ADHD person falls for the narcessist

[@johanbolin6793]

I'm reminded of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza. Don Quixote is clearly a narcissistic man who cannot see outside his delusions, and Sancho Panza is in comparison quite reasonable and the one who smooths things over and saves Don Quixote's ass more than once. One of the big questions has always been why does Sancho put up with this. The answer, or a possible answer, is because he's a man with hopes and dreams. He too wants to make it big. Don Quixote promises to make him big, so he follows him. Despite the stupidity...

[@sunflowerhealth1616]

Great insight and analogy!... the grandiose narcisist and the covert narcissist complement each other wonderfully! No wonder we often find them bonded in a 'Folie à deux'... tough on their kids though! ;-)

[@tammyhollis1519]

My narc stole his personality from Joe, Brian, and Antonio from the TV series, Wings. He quoted 30+ lines from those three characters and used them as his own. He also "performed" some of the scenes from the show. I had not watched that series; I didn't realize it until later. With s*x, he had watched porn since he was 12; in other words, it's all about detachment from human touch. I'm guessing that he tried to recreate scenes from whatever he watched, and I didn't know what he was doing. It was WEIRD and uncomfortable. He "wanted a wife" so that he could check off a box in order to look human. After 17 years, I finally figured it out. I couldn't believe when he bought ME an electric p***s as a Christmas gift five years ago. I was appalled! I don't need one of those, and I certainly was not going to let him use it on me. I've never indicated that I desired or needed one. I threw the thing in the garbage. Later I thought he might not have gotten it for me; he wanted to use it on himself. I hate to get this personal, but that's just how strange he is. He doesn't like to kiss, hug, hold hands, or anything. He did show some affection before marriage, but months after, he started acting differently. It's quite embarrassing, humiliating, and sad.

[@milliesmith8202]

thankyou sam and enjoy your wicked sense of humour cheers from australia

[@GreyCat827]

Hello. Several weeks ago, I watched your video proposing 12 steps for narcissists. I am a member of one of those 12 step programs. I have recently stepped into the 12 step program for the opposite "side", alanon. While not precisely the same, I am finding direction and comfort in this new guidance by substituting the word narcissism for the word alcoholism when I read the alanon literature. It's an eye opener, both for my alcoholic side, and my "discard" side. I am being directed back to myself in a practical and freeing way. The strength of that freedom can not be denied. Thank you for educating so many about these personalities. I watch at least one of your videos each day. They cause me to wonder about my own traits, and to be less judgemental yet gently detached. Have a good day.

[@nadinebarazi7482]

Professor 🙏 thank you

[@bintjesvideokanaal]

“The narcissist installs introjects in you. Which stay with you until you seek help / therapy” Question: In CBT one for instance learn to ask oneself if certain ways of behaving still are useful / functional. Are some simple reality checks not enough to get the narcissist and his introjects out of your mind / silence them?

[@samvaknin]

Watch the NA Healing playlist.

[@bintjesvideokanaal]

I did now. Please people, first read about the first 4 steps you have to take.

[@KyleBalne]

Do you have any thoughts on groups that contain multiple narcissists. How does the hierarchy work? What are the dynamics? You’re the man! Thanks

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for "collective" and more generally about encounters between narcissists, psychopaths, and other narcissists.

[@Dystopia2024]

In short, a mental asylum.

[@johnherod6660]

Brilliant.

[@Kristedlove333]

This is wild. It’s like where tf are we?! I know our eyes are deceiving us as well. Everything is programmed to be and feel so real in this construct-like…

[@Jazzmarcel]

my question is, how would this diagnosis apply to a borderline?.........truly incredible information!

[@izabelacyrwus7534]

I have the same question...😮

[@samvaknin]

Watch the BPD playlist.

[@Jazzmarcel]

@@samvaknin thank you Sir!..........your work has helped me emensely!🙏🏾

[@Jana-kz9lj]

Thank you for your time and effort. You share without asking anything in return. You deserve recognition for being the leading and first worldwide expert on the topic. Narcs may lack emotions but they are still flesh and blood, born like everyone. Abuse and Trauma has made them dysfunctional and dysregulated. Life is a simulation that we are all plugged into playing our roles/parts. You say you were diagnosed with NPD yet you seem 'human' to me. Is there no hope for narcs? The pain they cause to others and themselves. Are narcs a mutation, a new species?

[@sunflowerhealth1616]

As a shamanic practitioner I've asked myself about the role of narcs in the great scheme of things, and I've sought to understand them from a spiritual and therapist perspective, rather than just the reactive the 'analyse, demonize/alien-ate, and then fight/flight' response that is so popular. From my personal 'victim' experiences as well a sworking therapeutically with 'victims' and 'perpetrators' [rather rarely of course!], I believe that abuser/victim experiences in general hold great potential for personal growth and maturation. Turning around a 'narc. trauma victimhood' experience into a SELF-INTEGRATED, NON-DEMONISING SOUL-PATH FULFILMENT experience, is especially challenging because the SPIRITUAL ENTANGLEMENT is especially subtle, DEEP and complex. I have learned much from Prof. Vaknin and applaud his amazing insights!... Integrating his profound insights with some of the ancient technologies of shamanism, such as shamanic journeying [inner and outer] and soul-retrieval, has enabled me to unwrap and disentangle the profound 'spiritual entanglement' of narcissistic abuse, such that, contrary to popular opinion, ACCEPTANCE, CLOSURE [restoration of faith in self & 'life'] & PERSONAL EVOLUTION can happen!.. however it is not a quick or easy path! ;-)

[@Jana-kz9lj]

​@@sunflowerhealth1616 Thank you sunflower. We are all human, of God. Healing is possible. I would think along the same lines.

[@Jana-kz9lj]

​@@sunflowerhealth1616Prof Vaknin has not only shared his personal experience (which is an honour) and insights but provided a space for others to share their stories which is important for healing. The thing is to move forward with love n compassion for ourselves.

[@Kristedlove333]

Excellent video! Thank you. Hopefully you can dive deeper into this topic in future videos. It is something I’m still trying to fully get a deeper understanding because narcissists will truly mess up one’s equilibrium.

[@conniejohoward847]

Thank you Sam, another great video 😊

[@EnoughSaid564]

Dr. Vankin, your videos have provided me with such an awakening and understanding of who/what I’ve been dealing with for 20 years. Your input literally saved my sanity. Thank you

[@samvaknin]

Vaknin.

[@artyshock1520]

Omg bladerunner 👌

[@FerencRezmuves-tg2mm]

Like the thumbnail prof.

[@pfergpaint5473]

I'm curious how animals differ from the programs of robots or AI components. Very interesting conversation

[@mannatrish1]

Perhaps Hannibal Lecter in “The Silence of the Lambs” ?

[@ProdigyScope]

Since they truly feel negative emotions, does that make them partially human?

[@samvaknin]

Yes. Partly.

[@izabelacyrwus7534]

If a borderline has the same emptiness inside her as a narcissist, is she also just a program and not a human being??? Please tell me, thank you 💚

[@samvaknin]

Watch the BPD playlist.

[@izabelacyrwus7534]

@@samvaknin I've watched many of your videos and I really appreciate your knowledge, but I haven't found the answer...

[@xochitl7489]

I can’t believe you’re not a human being! Are you able to feel something for others?

[@TheLove1Makes]

Just like I can be used as app they control.

[@Maria_Stancu]

Does he know he’s doing this?

[@samvaknin]

No.

[@mr_4ndy]

Funny how you use german words😅

[@MsMirakel]

"Yiddish is a German dialect which integrates many languages, including German, Hebrew, Aramaic, and various Slavic and Romance languages."

[@natehermano7166]

The information in this channel will be used by the robots to reprogram humans.

[@sac-5350]

I totally Admire how you drop all that knowledge, wisdom and honesty to help the world. 😮 You have no idea how many lives you've healed and saved from abuse! Respect 🫡

[@matej9255]

Well said, I agree. His books are great too, especially Malignat self love Narcississm revisited