Why You Have No Personality

[@ColeHastings]

Thanks for watching everyone. If you want to learn more about becoming more sociable, check out my whole playlist on building relationships with others here: kzbin.info/aero/PLgVZMuITSnetVwlL51dHinz1eReqrMNYG

[@nathanramsundar2403]

What did you use to learn html and java?

[@ColeHastings]

i think i started on codeacademy, then i just did trial and error through w3schools

[@nathanramsundar2403]

@@ColeHastings ok thanks alot really appreciate it

[@renegroulx7029]

I enjoyed the video, however, I wonder, are you a vampire? I see those fangs at the bottom, are they real?

[@moritz3168]

This feels like one of your best narrated videos of all time. Guess it was supposed to do that xD

[@testosteronemastery]

Being authentic and genuinely paying attention to when others talk will change your life… People can sense when they’re being listened to, and when you listen carefully, your words and conversations become so much more authentic. That’s when your personality will flourish. As always, great video, Cole.

[@TheToNtTuToNy]

100% this

[@Mikey_Anthony]

Totally, that’s basically the only way to truly build connection. This also weeds out the inauthentic, closed off, superficial type people. They can’t hold deep convos like that. Authentic/open minded people thrive and engage more in those kind of discussions.

[@galumptiouspotato9989]

True. I find my hangouts 1 on 1 much more authentic because we both listen to each other and even laugh about things we talked about a while ago.

[@ivansoto9723]

@@galumptiouspotato9989 I don't know why but I'm very sociable 1 on 1 but find it really hard to be part of a conversation between 3 people. I often find myself becoming a 3rd wheel the moment they talk about something I don't understand or really care about. Like a tv show or game I haven't seen or played or some experience only they shared.

[@galumptiouspotato9989]

@@ivansoto9723 I know what you mean fs. Now I just realize it’s ok not being relatable or always having something to say, I just wait until I have input.

[@jdubs681]

Totally nailed it talking about how you have to take an interest you have and work on increasing your skills around that thing. Like when I play/make music. Learning music software is super frustrating. But my enjoyment in making my own music drives me to keep learning what I need to get better. That’s how passions are born

[@ColeHastings]

Great explanation

[@wooyaa8152]

Nothing quite like trying to get your cpu to take putting 152 serums in ableton

[@euvoric]

i also have gotten skilled at learning music software but my pure enjoyment of creating keeps me going

[@goopbrain8919]

I've been playing the guitar for the last 8 months and I look at the instrument more like a keyboard. Visualizing the scales and chords on the fretboard. It's gotten me far quickly but I've also wanted to dabble with some software, do you have any recommendations? Free or paid

[@gael44444]

@@wooyaa8152 why would you ever need that many serums

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

Have you ever seen those "boring, awkward" people get around their friends they've known for years? There's nothing boring or awkward about them. There's something holding them back in new situations.

[@pinkpures]

break down the last part for me 😸

[@Diabolic9595]

I am boring, awkward. And yeah, i don't have any friends because of this

[@zloypanda679]

Can relate to this.

[@RIP_ZYZZ1738]

​@@Diabolic9595You don't have friends because those things you say about yourself become true once you say them. They're not physical traits or something. So you manifest that energy once you characterized yourself as that

[@Diabolic9595]

@@RIP_ZYZZ1738 Yeah, there are barriers in my head because of which my social skills suck. I started working with therapist. We'll see if it helps

[@user-uy4ot4ij3y]

As a born introvert with social anxiety, within the past year I began going to social events more and getting into the motion of things. I learned to just go up and talk to people. Now I can say that I don't shy away like I used to, and I can keep up with small talk pretty well. The problem I learned was that I would eventually run out of things to say after 15 mins. I lack passions, I'm not opinionated, and thus my personality is weak. I struggle to form proper relationships with people, and hope this video will help me out.

[@aranciata2704]

Yeah, you are not alone. I've always struggled to make deep connections with people because I always had few interests and would lose my passion for most things, and I always try to observe others in hopes that I will learn how to be like them and know what they are interested in, but at the end of the day, I just realize that Im hollow inside. So I guess we should find what we really love doing in life and stop caring about messing it up, I believe in you

[@kklap3219]

Keep in mind that its not just up to you to have things to say. If theres an awkward silence, it means the other person doesnt have anything to say either. People that share common interests rarely feel like this, because they actively do, or want to do, stuff together. Just talking for the sake of talking is never gonna lead anywhere

[@rustr3780]

Same. I’m good at starting something with small talk but I can never develop a relationship further because I run out of things to express and talk about that the other person would be receptive to. Then it all fizzles out and I’m back to square one 😢

[@thepastarat]

If you can hold a conversation for 15 minutes, that's nothing to complain about. Not every conversation needs to last for hours. If you've both said everything you feel like saying, tell them you enjoyed talking with them and go do something else. Also, not being opinionated doesn't mean you have a weak personality, it just means your personality isn't opinionated. Nothing wrong with that.

[@nickreaper6624]

Wtf is a born introvert 💀

[@nathan1507]

My "personality" revolved around my mother. It was always about impressing her, not making her mad, avoiding beatings, doing things that she could brag about to aunties etc. No sleepover, no parties, no hanging out, hell I didn't have social connection outside classes, all because she wanted to "protect me." One day I realized I had nothing to talk about other than school stuff and my mom. To all young ladies out there, pleeeaasseee let your future son have a life outside your supervision:(

[@spacewalker7520]

People like us are doomed.

[@DavidS-xu3pm]

@@spacewalker7520 facts

[@VasterLordUlquiorra]

буквально описания "сына корзинка"

[@nates_80]

I can relate. Glad to know there are people out there like me.

[@yafilmme6160]

@@kanyedafuccincreator don’t worry you’re gonna get better

[@romangonzalezadrianmaurici6302]

Boring is very subjective, a scientist could bore to death a musician, a fighter could bore to death an engineer. We all like different things, there are lots of people out there, there are god tips on this video but don´t be to hard to yourself, everyone is interesting in their own way.

[@prayk11]

The storytelling skill is important for everybody though. Everyone have some kind of personality, but that won't matter much if you can't express yourself.

[@michalgabriel9647]

Thats why you need to become a scientist, musician, fighter... etc. The point of this video is that you find teh things you like and develop them

[@YonkoAgenda]

Great point, it's all about perspective

[@rd-lw4td]

@@prayk11 people's stories bore me. No thanks. I like conversations.

[@Checkmate777]

That’s true but at the same time as a person you have to be talking to someone else you have to somewhat be listening and responding to them. If you are always talking to people out of your own accord people will get bored. A person who only talks about science is cool for maybe like 45 minutes and then it’s like alright let’s move on.

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

Probably the highest quality self-improvement content out there.

[@ColeHastings]

haha thanks but i wouldnt say that. We will get there eventually though

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

@@ColeHastings I was just absolutely enchanted by that story you told!

[@suu964]

@@ColeHastings it really is , one of the best videos i have watched in along time glad i knew your channel

[@wars4242]

@@suu964 any other channels you recommand?

[@suu964]

@@wars4242 i find muchelleb also really good , it might be confusing at first but have patience her channel is amazing i got fed up with all the same bs each time ppl talk about self development i find cole and muchelleb the best right now

[@TheSystemIsFlawed]

I'm in such a gridlocked situation. I remember getting mocked or outright bullied for expressing passion about things ("Shut up, nobody cares!"), so I told myself to bottle up and talk about safe, external things only. That led to me not becoming passionate about anything and shying away from delving deep into interests. Now I struggle with self-consciousness and perfectionism because I imagine one awkward or off-color statement gets me labeled as The Weirdo and I DO NOT want to be The Weirdo. Videos like this and intense therapy are helping melt the ice a bit but man am I in deep.

[@dorianhardy8239]

Hey, you story hit me. I know how it can be tough to try to fit in, etc. I'd advice you to start practicing meditation regularly and seriously. It's very likely that it'll change your life. There are several other things you can do, of course. You could cure your phone addiction or start doing what Cole says in this video. Meditation seems to be the key to freedom, success and happiness. Don't give up on self improvement if you are on. Keep pushing through struggles. I can't tell you it's not going to be easy to do all the things you know you should do but that you don't do, but I can tell you this: it will be worth the sacrifice. (I think you can be stuck in self improvement, in some way, that's why I'm saying this. All love.) Wish you the best👊❤️

[@RajMGandhi]

Wtf... Nailed it perfectly... I am not interested in anything anymore.. And the stuff my livelihood depends on is boring af. Massive crisis have to distract myself as much as possible with drinking and stuff...

[@zegmakker5869]

best not to engage with shallow people like that, they suck all the life and intelligence out of any conversation they participate in

[@MgelikaXevi]

The opposite part of your personality - are the people around (coz, there is no "personality" in a vacuum where nothing happens) . So first you develop yourself, then you change the environment, then new environments changes you more, etc. Otherwise you gonna be shaped according to that initial social circle (thanks God if it is a good circle with plenty of decent people, but it could be the other way). If you doing something meaningful, but people around are indifferent - then try to establish connection to another group of ppl. When I was into martial arts - i did not tried to tell everyone about it, I talked to my buddies from our club. When I got into programming - i wasn`t trying to give passionate speeches about programming to random dudes\girls from previous circle - i was networking with people who had an idea what i am doing. I assume that at one point i might become passionate enough to spark an interest in someone who has nothing to do with programming, but it is not my concern right now. When it comes - it comes. Now I am on "normal difficulty" talking to people who are interested in similar topics, while I am becoming professional in my field. If I start to be everything at once, and then meet a bored looks of ppl who never heard of programming - it might damage my ability to progress on this path. So for now I am on "passion developing", not on the story teller part.

[@travis3430]

Whoever mocked you, doesn't respect you... therefore cut them out of your life if you are able to or as soon as you're able to. That's what I've done to ppl as much as I can to the ppl I know don't respect me for being myself

[@J_Pizzle4shizzle]

I can honestly say you develop your personality when you take time to find yourself , when you socialize more ,and surround yourself with people who like you for who you are when you’re genuine and real, and the things you’re passionate about are a big factor

[@Yusa_Beach]

Key points, but imo the main factor is spending time with yourself, doing what you like to do and exposing yourself to all things so that they may develop within yourself.

[@chak_dz6961]

"you don't find your passion, you make your passion", this hits me really deep

[@painuchiha2694]

Having a passion will strengthen your opinions on that which u like and having opinions will help express your personality. But having passion isn’t necessarily having a personality A personality is a bunch of reactions of a specific person. You can predict how someone reacts to things based on their personality. If someone is generally angry and reacts angrily,you may not want to joke around him. Some people are calm and that is their personality,they may not say anything but that’s how they chose to react Nonereaction is still reacting because you chose to say nothing rather than create more drama to whatever situation You can change someone’s personality by telling them to be more outgoing less reserved but I don’t believe in not having a personality at all. Being calm reserved and less outgoing is not a bad personality or a lack of it but it might become a weakness if you need to express yourself for a job or whatever. Telling people to change personality may be a double edge sword if they feel inadequate for being what they are,they might force unpleasant cringy interaction to try please others. I don’t believe in changing personality but just improving what’s already there,maybe you can interact to situations better while keeping your authenticity,having a better vocabulary and choosing the right wording can help express yourself better in more ways that suits you

[@mario125ww]

I see your pov but I disagree. Personality has been proven to change over time. For example, only 20% of people are shy genetically meaning that most people who are shy do so because of environment. Same thing with introversion and extroversion. Judging people based off of stats is ironically just as bad as telling people to be change who than are. People change over time. I for one have changed by personality at least twice. As a kid I was super outgoing and hot headed, then I became shy and calm now i went back to being hot heated and outgoing.

[@elvararchfeld9734]

yes, one's personality changing is most definitely possible, hence character development. I myself for example used to be a pseudo intellectual, but i have changed much over the years. It's just that telling someone to 'change their personality' would simply be a silly thing to do and if someone tries to _force_ themselves to be something that they're _not,_ that wouldn't be true change. Or, y'know.. As they say, fake it till you make it. 😆 I mean damn, there was even one guy going on about how you can reach higher levels of consciousness, and once you reach the highest level, you can just at will reprogram yourself to have whatever personality, personality traits, mannerisms and behaviorisms you wish, but that's a different topic entirely. Everything else you said was spot on.

[@elvararchfeld9734]

Everything i just said is irrelevant because of this, lol... To quote myself: "I think the main issue here really is that we're using different definitions of the word 'personality' and i don't mean personal definitions: 3: "habitual patterns and qualities of behavior of any individual as expressed by physical and mental activities and attitudes; distinctive individual qualities." 4: "a) the sum of such qualities seen as being capable of making, or likely to make, a favorable impression on other people. b) [colloq.] Personal attractiveness; engaging manner or qualities.""

[@michaelatorn8380]

having a passion will increase doubt, the more you learn, the more you realize you know nothing.

[@FDE-fw1hd]

I feel like personality is more how you think than what you do

[@CarDrawingsByErik]

I always loved drawing cars but I kind of stopped drawing in my early 20's because I didn't think I was talented enough. It took me at least 10 years to get back to it, and thanks to instagram I have seen super talented guys and their drawings. I told myself that I could do the same or even better if I practiced a lot. Now 8 years and 200+ drawings later I teach people how I draw cars, and they pay for my knowledge. I finally see (at age 39) what I want to do every day.

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

Damn 💪🏽👏🏽

[@j.6267]

Thats beautiful.

[@hanarielgodlike9283]

As a fellow artist i saw your work and my jaw droped LOL Dude your cars are amazing. Have you tought about doing a voice over tutorial? XD

[@CarDrawingsByErik]

@@hanarielgodlike9283 thanks. I'm doing those videos for my Patreon already 😎

[@orangecat9559]

holy shit your drawings are impressive

[@SimGunther]

If someone says "you got no personality" even after you tell a compelling and emotional story like some of the best orators and comedians, then they think height and genetics = personality. But, that's okay because the universe opened a door to another better friendship to embrace.

[@noah1st2everdoit]

don’t lie to yourself, it’s unlikely someone will say you have no personality just because your short or ugly, you have to be more positive and give off good vibes if you want to be liked.

[@eatthetree348]

what the fuck did i just read

[@Yusa_Beach]

@@eatthetree348 Some part of a truth.

[@zangetsu1597]

@@noah1st2everdoit That's the problem with many young people these days. Caring too much about being liked as opposed to just being themselves and being comfortable with that. I'm 24 and all of the friends I made growing up were by me just being myself. I'm introverted and quiet, but when I hear a conversation that interests I hop in regardless of whether I've been invited or not. Sometimes I come out of it with an acquaintance turned friend. I feel this whole "going into situations with a format of 'how to be liked' is so backwards and just causes more unnecessary stress in the long-run." To be liked should be akin to not trying. End of story.

[@Fr0zenPeanut]

@@zangetsu1597 Oh how I wish I could just be myself and feel comfortable with that, but I'm afraid that will never be an option for me. I'm gay and I live in a homophobic shithole in southeast Europe. I've spent most of my life hating myself and wishing I could just disappear; I don't have any friends or relationships and I know most of my family would shun me if they found out.

[@bigboienfer4331]

If you think someone is boring, you’re toxic. People are people, different people different opinions. Different people different hobbies. Jus like compare and contrast, there’s no compare and compare or contrast and contrast

[@dicksoncyprian9511]

MAN THE WAY YOU TELL STORY IS AMAIZING

[@soioioioioioio34]

Nah he sucks f him

[@Mecca188]

You and I were the same in high school I wasn’t interesting at all and whenever I was with my friends they always knew a lot of people and I didn’t ,I was always the guy that’s was just there and not noticed . I’m 23 and I’m still like this so I need to create my passion as well and work on my confidence to communicate with people more . Great video Cole

[@BryMakesArt]

I believe in you. Take baby steps every day to improve and you'll feel better sooner than later!

[@Mecca188]

@@BryMakesArt thanks man ✊🏿💯

[@misstrunchbull3953]

Right there with you bud

[@thekaran595]

that's literally me rn and I'm 15

[@yunglonerlyfe1513]

you're not alone bro. we're literally the same

[@kaushikdr]

i feel like personality is more about how you respond and interact in a conversation - I find that being as genuine and honest as possible in your responses and asking questions you are actually curious about lead to conversations where you can express your inner feelings better. I have been told by others that I am a quite a character, but I feel like only 20% of my conversations are about my passions.

[@asafoetidajones8181]

I've met interesting, thoughtful people with no hobbies and a general omnivorous and indistinct content diet, and unusual looking people witn dozens of hobbies and the personality of cottage cheese

[@Tiogar60]

about the passion thing, i partly disagree. Passion can be something you find, it depends on your underlying personality traits. If you are familiar with the big 5 personality traits, you know the trait openness is associated with creativity. And that creativity is often something you don't control, as it generates its own ideas, and finding those ideas is a part of finding ones passion. But even then, when you find it you may not initially be that passionate about it, as i agree that passion is something you build over time. I discovered that through doing many different creative things, and even getting quite good at some, but always running into a wall because my head just wasn't generating ideas which is crucial for creating new things, and putting so much time into a hobby which isn't satisfying your creative need when you are a creative is soul-draining. So if you are creative, or just generally get a lot of ideas and have a tendency to daydream, try to listen to those ideas. It is a monster you can't control. If you are less creative, I'm not sure. I can guess that as long as it interests you, you can develop some sort of passion for it.

[@TheSheepster]

Yeah! Listen to the ideas, then you can create stuff from them! Passion is something you find AND create further.

[@paul3734]

If you personally lack the creative element, there is nothing stopping you from sourcing ideas from others, putting your own spin on them and cumulatively building your experience to open the door to more creative ideas.

[@pathfinder011]

"Tú no encuentras tu pasión. Tú haces tu pasión" No sabes lo mucho que mejorará mi vida eso.

[@jamesmkbn]

Having “no personality” is a personality. Don’t fall into this lexical/conceptual trap. Spend time accepting and loving yourselves. Before you know it you’ll either create or find your way into an environment where your “personality” will be valued and allowed to shine.

[@MgelikaXevi]

you mean, "eventually someone gonna call a boring dude\girl who has no passions and no topics to talk about - interesting"? There are people who are actually empty, and then there are people who just fail to express themselves. There is a chance for the second group (and somebody who has time for them -could discover their hidden passions) , but the first one will not be "valued" and will not shine.

[@jamesmkbn]

@@MgelikaXevi what do you mean by empty? Assuming you equate emptiness to lack of hobbies/areas of interest, I don’t believe any human being has the capacity to “become empty”. Some people may seem to like that but it’s usually because they lack insight into themselves and/or the world around them.

[@Grandmaster-Kush]

@@MgelikaXevi I doubt any self proclaimed personalityless person is as such, the only way to become like that is through severe trauma or mental health issues. People who never found their passion or learned to express themselves can do so later in life, they will always be boring or in the background but by no means empty or void of value.

[@anasebrahim3382]

@@MgelikaXevi I don’t think some people are just empty. Every human has a personality. The supposed people we find that are empty on the inside just have their personality covered by a hard shell and when they follow the first tip in the video they will eventually slowly uncover their personality, like a locked character in a rpg game. Also the main comment’s first line is bogus. Every human’s experiences, beliefs, environment, insight shape their personality. A human having no personality is impossible. If someone says you have no personality either you haven’t opened up your own personality, or you haven’t expressed it properly(both are covered in the video) OR the person who said that doesn’t value your personality, if that’s the case you have to find a new person who values your personality more(this is also covered in the video but just briefly)

[@jamesmkbn]

@@anasebrahim3382 how is the first line of my comment bogus? I literally implied what you just said now in that very first line I wrote.

[@gauravdeep]

1. Build passion and skills. - Explore things - Get Deep into things so that you can talk about them as long as you like 2. Learn to tell a story - learn from the experts by observing them (Comedians, speaker etc) - Read fiction to enhance your vocabulary

[@gauravdeep]

Also try to engage with people, social interaction will develop your story telling skills.

[@ales3880]

yeah, that works on people which are also interactive and have good questions and same humour, otherwise there is no chance for me. I have to have my tribe to really match and show my personality, but thats for everyone who is honest and dont put mask i think

[@gauravdeep]

@@ales3880 Not everyone needs to see your personality you know, especially the people you don't vibe with. So, it's good as long as you know you have a personality to share with the people you care about and actually want to hang out with.

[@PeterGašperan]

ok, but why? lmao

[@gauravdeep]

@@PeterGašperan So that when you grow old you don't end up being an alone, miserable and grumpy man and people starts cutting you off.

[@confierking]

I think reading fiction books was the best thing that helped me develop my humor and good storytelling, I'm glad you included that!

[@agoogleuseranonymous2658]

For women honestly this video is almost pointless. They don't need any of that.

[@felyortiz6]

what types of books would you recommend

[@tundeuk]

@@agoogleuseranonymous2658 They do if they want to catch Chad or Tyrone.

[@MrEysox]

How does reading fiction books help you develop your humor ?

[@agoogleuseranonymous2658]

@@felyortiz6 Don't ever take a woman's advice on that honestly. Go check out some what the pickup artists have to say. Always listen to the fisherman ... never the fish.

[@kolterveras00]

Great video & great storytelling Cole. It’s important to remember your passions are YOURS and you don’t need to worry about what other people will say about them. Dive in & go deep. Thanks again Cole appreciate what you do bro 🙏🏽

[@nikolaj4978]

Guys If someone thinks you are "boring" just ignore them it is not worth trying to suit others expectations, behave the way you are find comfortable for you.

[@Ihave10billionsubs]

Bingo. This stupid video is basically just trying to teach people to conform, though not saying it explicitly.

[@Vincentrabela]

I think one of the biggest problems in the modern social construct is the negative associations with certain passions. For example being into Magic the Gathering makes you a dork, bodybuilding makes you egotistical, and playing the trumpet is weird. It’s difficult to wear you passion if 90% of people will make negative assumptions. I feel that the lack of positive reinforcement is the reason a lot of people quit. Support ur friends guys.

[@mr.pigeons1066]

what is Magic the Gathering

[@mattkugelman4369]

@@mr.pigeons1066it’s a card game

[@trolleriffic]

@@mr.pigeons1066 It's a card game that turns you into a dork and consumes all your money.

[@crumbopulis]

You could have saved ourself the paragraph if you realized that not one person on this planet gives a single shit about what you do. Scratch friends and family, but we can’t choose our family and no friend will shit on you for your random bs

[@vermillionemerald]

Really well said! Though I also think that some of the lack of positive reinforcement comes from within. If you were good at something, upped your league and then realize you’re now mediocre, you may lose passion or interest. There’s also the motivation from “proving people wrong” but that’s boring. I think keeping a childlike sense of wonder, excitement, and optimism about your potential can lead you to eliteness in a hobby, even if you never actually had any talent to begin with

[@homesickmadeit]

I love all your videos bro, I lost my older brother when I was 13 and you give me the advice I think he would’ve if he was still here. Much love man, keep up the great work

[@jah_sama5624]

hope you're doing well.

[@ColeHastings]

Much love, im sure your brother would be very proud of you

[@homesickmadeit]

@@ColeHastings Thank you man, I appreciate it

[@mrgreenboy644]

May your brother rest in peace.

[@rifkywageyo477]

Hey Cole Hastings, I'm 14 Years old And i'm from indonesia i just wanna tell you that. You're changed my life, now i creating good habits, stop fitting in and stop caring what others thinking about me. Now i love doing what i love, like i apologized to my parents what i done to them and now i live harmony with them. Also i stop fit in and now i have 4 true friends, i walk in nature, enjoying view. I just wanna say thank you for changing for my life and sorry for bad english. Edit 26 june : i mean i stop try to fitting in if i dont fit, i fit people that if they want to fit me. And surround yourself who get you, dont forget the biggest happiness is having a deep connection relationship to others (friend,girlfriend,family)

[@ColeHastings]

Love to hear i helped. You are the one that put in the work though, you should be proud

[@rifkywageyo477]

@@ColeHastings Yessir, Keep the good work man!

[@ateeqroomy8415]

The fact that you're 14 and already smart enough and working on yourself is great man!!! I'm 17 and I'm trying my best too. I hope you get to wherever you want to be!

[@pragyankakati3092]

You are so sweet...at 14 i was literally a weird kid..i'm still a weird person..but as i'm 18 i'm a weird adult now...lol doesn't it feel awesome when we behave/react how we wanna behave/react without thinking a lot

[@Windermed]

as someone who's 16, seeing your comment is inspiring to me as someone who wants to change and stop caring about what others think. i'm really glad his videos helped you, and hopefully i, too can put in the work to make my life better for myself.

[@WalkinChristum]

Great video Cole ! recently just found your channel, and it's truly a gem for any men out there.

[@zangetsu1597]

Think this should apply to anyone tbh.

[@chiemxerxobi]

@@zangetsu1597 there's something here that relates specifically to men. Often a lot of our perceived value comes from our personality, while girls can go by with their looks.

[@myyuhhhe7543]

You are not serious. 🫤

[@mede201]

@@chiemxerxobi yeah but not every girl is beautiful, so they also have to develop a personality

[@snoopy4554]

​@@chiemxerxobi i'd say it's not the personality but what he has achieved instead

[@dominicciasullo2516]

This has to be the best personality self improvement video I've watched. Actually makes sense and is to the point

[@d.mavridopoulos66]

Man my interests have been a huge hindrance in life. While I enjoy reading literature, philosophy, history playing the guitar, going on hiking or cycling trips, my acquaintances are just into football and gambling. Throw in an occasional NETFLIX series, and that's it. You've completed a circumference of their mental sphere, explored every inch of their intellectual territory. As Orwell observed almost a century ago, people tend to lose their individuality after the age of 30, and voluntarily submerge their noblest faculties into whatever fad seems to appeal to the herd at any given time period. Standing out like the proverbial injured thumb will admittedly get you attention, but not *necessarily* the kind that you crave.

[@MorriganJade]

Speaking about "Developing a Passion" "So Good They Can't Ignore You", a book by Cal Newport. He goes in depth about it.

[@hellobez]

Cole, how do your story telling skills get utilized in your video creation process? Do you actually write out full scripts of your videos word by word or have you leveled up your story telling to the point where you can just follow a thread of chronological bullet points and talk freely off the top?

[@ColeHastings]

I write full scripts word by word. Sometimes theres some improv

[@suu964]

@@ColeHastings it shows , your words are so eloquent

[@hjackbull]

I appreciate your thought process in selecting ideas for videos which aren’t covered by the mainstream and also the fact that you give out advice that we can put into action right away. I’ve watched a lot of your videos and your uniqueness really strikes out

[@caladiumhex]

I’ve come to the realization that us as people love storytelling. Whether it’s simply gossiping, watching shows, movies, music, etc, they’re all stories.

[@cyrusrichard8935]

4:53 Found your passion -> Turn something into your passion. As someone doubting a lot about making music, it clearly opened my eyes. I wondered so many times if this thing was my passion, but maybe I just have to make it my passion. Let's try and see in a few years. Thank you.

[@ulysses7157]

For me I didn't have much of a personality at first after high school (Fell into a depression for 3 years) till I decided to in my free time start writing stories just so I won't be cooped up only playing videogames and watching anime. I wasn't good at it at all but I felt a little spark about it and practiced it every so often. What sparked it in the beginning was my love for all the stories from American Cartoons (Avatar last air bender and samurai jack), Anime and manga (FMA:B, Afro Samurai, and berserk) and from videogames (Legacy of Kain, The humorous and fun writing of the ratchet and clank series, Bioshock, Jack 2 and 3, etc...) and not to mention LOTR trilogy movie. It wasn't me just loving them as is but the writing and world building in it that really put a smile on my face and made me go "Know what? maybe I should write something of my own." and then bam I've been doing it ever since and practicing on my skills. It's literally the one thing I do every time I get my breaks during hours work. I will literally talk for HOURS on end about writing and worldbuilding and referencing all the great stories I loved in my childhood as proof. Thing is I hated reading and writing during school and always had sub par grades on it (Getting C's and D's mostly) but coming back to it and learning on my own terms I've loved it so much.

[@anthonynguyen1289]

Gosh this video and comment are what I needed right now. I’ve always had some kind of small interest in story telling, but I despised writing in school and just came to a conclusion that I wouldn’t be a good writer. I definitely think I should try writing now especially since I’m in that depressive episode of college

[@sentinelprime5728]

I think I may start to write my own stories too

[@boratsagdiyev522]

​@@sentinelprime5728I like to smoke weed, write about that

[@jhhwild]

The thing about storytelling is that when someone pressures me to come up with a story I don't have one but I can tell one if it comes up naturally during conversation. It's like when someone just straight up asks me a question I need time to think about it which is rare during conversation. I can type out a story easily because I have time to think but in the heat of the moment I don't have time to think so I don't have the right words right away. It's why I'm not good at job interviews. But given the right context like someone telling me a story I can tell a story about when something similar happened to me. It's just the guidance I need to keep the conversation going. Instead of relying on someone else to come up with a story off the top of their head maybe try to guide them with your own example. People expect too much of others to carry the conversation and just dismiss them as having "no personality" if they aren't interesting right away. Perhaps it's your fault, maybe you didn't engage on their level to help guide them towards an interesting conversation to let their personality shine. Everyone has a personality, if someone seems like they don't have one it's because you don't know them well enough.

[@urphakeandgey6308]

My easy way out: "I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Do you have an example?" Best case scenario, their story reminds you of something. Worse case, you just have to talk about their story a bunch to keep the conversation going. Nightmare scenario would be if they don't have an example, but at that point, I'm sure they're feeling pretty awkward themselves.

[@harriswone4215]

This is insane,I’m a sophomore right now and I started watching this video right before the bell rang for English class,You literally explained my life,I feel like I’m multiple different people and it’s so hard and awkward for me to connect with other people,there is a reason I found this video,hopefully it help because I feel like a ghost,we would literally have a group project and I would be the only one not doing it even if I try to talk to people it still doesn’t work,no one ever remembers me or wants to talk to me and am also really love playing video games. After fully watching this video I feel like I’m not alone but it all still seams way to complicated and I still feel down like it’s not gonna work out for me,amazing content though your so lucky thanks for posting this.

[@zacharynguyen7286]

Hope you are doing good and staying safe ❤

[@harriswone4215]

@@zacharynguyen7286 thanks it means a lot I hope you stay safe too,God bless❤️

[@boejiden7093]

I had pretty much no personality in high school either. Very much a fly on the wall kinda person. But when things would need someone to step in or volunteer, i’d always offer a hand. Cole, much like you, I had a cord hitting experience except mine was the girl telling me “You don’t matter. People like you never matter.” Man that set me off. But looking back, that was the best thing that happened. It was the push we all need but don’t like.

[@mrsticky005]

There once was a boy from Austria who was very quiet and shy and so everyone thought he had no personality because he was very quiet and shy. But then one day someone told this Austrian boy "Don't be shy. Tell the whole world how you feel! Hold nothing back" And the boy did just that. That boy's name was Adolf Hitler. Now another story. There once was a boy from Austria who was very quiet and shy and so everyone thought he had no personality because he was very quiet and shy. But then one day someone asked the boy "Who are you? " But the boy did not answer because he was very quiet and shy. So the person told the boy "Look I understand. I used to be shy and timid just like you. But you should tell the whole world how you feel. Hold nothing back!" So the boy said with a big happy smile "My name is Judah Jewberg. What's your name?" Then the someone the boy was talking to replied coldly "Mein Name ist Adolf Hitler."

[@Mak0154]

🤨

[@It_PHOENIX]

I love 🇦🇹🇦🇹🇦🇹

[@fireball288]

lol😂😂

[@sarahbarnett5134]

I've been binge watching all your videos.. seriously you are such an intelligent person. You've used all the things you have experienced in life to help others.. and I think that's amazing. Thank you for all of your videos. Every time I watch one, I immediately feel so positive.

[@arelixxro]

I have no personality to the point where I steal other ppls personality’s. Their laugh, their voice. It’s weird

[@creeperkingdom3190]

same

[@hosnemir3201]

Borderline Personality Disorder???

[@uatcgfhdhu]

I just took the "Take a little of all the things you like to make your own style" drawing advice, and use it to make a personality. Didn't work, now i'm a mess of random stuff.

[@Alex25azl]

that s a good thing,people think "copying other people" is bad and that authenticy is all that matter but if you try to copy someone you find confident around people,you can t fully copy them,at this point it s your own style of doing that,so it s wrong to say you re copying them.

[@Alex25azl]

​@@uatcgfhdhuit should be "take all the good things from people around you"

[@oliviafawn2373]

you’ve come so far, and i must say, you’ve easily shown us that! i appreciate this video so much, it has taught me a lot. thank you always, Cole. :)

[@pedroalgo3990]

I totally agree with you. I was working and studying my whole life but nothing of what I did filled me up till i started doing community service and speaking up about RESOLVING issues in my community.

[@nates_80]

I am a young man (14) trying to improve myself. I am quite an introvert myself. I used to think it was a bad thing because my family judged me on it and i though I was missing out on a lot of opportunities. Well that isn't true. Being an introvert helped me. When I'm on the inside, I see better. What I mean is I can now see how people judge me, and study me and the people that surround me. I've been going through a lot over the past couple of years although I am young. Mentally, Physically, Socially and Mentally. This channel feels like my own therapist. I can comment whatever I want. Although I can be judged here, I feel like the maker and viewers can help me. Here I feel safe. Here I learn things that my old therapist and my parents have never taught me. The things my father taught me before he left ( again ) hurt me and some helped me. To be honest, I feel as if the Male figures I find on social media is very helpful. I'm starting to watch more of these videos and finding my cause on this earth. I'm starting to write in my journal more and finding more outlets for my emotions. Thank you, Cole. You are really helpful to me and you may be one of the causes why I choose to live and not give up, one of the causes why I find ME, lastly the causes I can improve. Although you may not see this, thanks again. Wish you nothing but blessings -Nathan

[@ColeHastings]

Hey Nathan, thanks for the thoughtful message. To come to these realizations at such a young age is extremely admirable. You’re far ahead in terms of maturity and thinking than most people at 14. Keep evolving

[@nates_80]

Thankyou for you're words of motivation. Out of everyone I've watched you are few that actually reads the comments which show you care for the people you lead into a better life. Thankyou from me and the other viewers behalf. You're channel has made my day a lot better@@ColeHastings

[@jonathanglover7999]

I truly needed this video after spending 4 semesters at uni, studying a topic I am not passionate about. My lacking passion affected my social skills and mental health, giving me deep feelings of inadequacy. I'm now opting out of uni, taking my power back, and I'm going to try finding new ways to spend time on stuff I actually love. Thanks for making this type of content.

[@splinterborn]

Same for alot of people. Stumbling round in the dark.

[@liamcraddock9539]

Damn a lot of that describes me and I've just stumbled to the end of second year... I don't seem to have done very well. I don't know what to do.

[@jonathanglover7999]

@@liamcraddock9539 Personally I've just now dropped out of university. I also got to the end of my second year. It has taken me a long time to find out what to do instead. I ended up deciding to find a job and save up money to go to a non formal school where I can learn about sustainable living, permaculture and nature which are the things that I truly love. Just wanted to share that and to encourage you to find a path that suits your passions and interests.

[@TheGintama86]

@@jonathanglover7999 hows that going to make u money thou?

[@sentinelprime5728]

​@@TheGintama86😂

[@kamodo2299]

This type of stuff pains me, like i do truly want to better myself, and someday i will utilize this advice after i have my current focuses down, but it seems like for so many things i need to put forward an extraordinary amount of time and effort to even approach how normal people are. It seems like I'm just so far behind so many others socially it just hurts.

[@Mysticmetalhead]

I’m the same too your not alone 😞

[@sirumugaivijayalakshmi7181]

Same bro

[@Void-qz1zd]

Same. Doesn't make any sense to me.

[@MrEysox]

I get what you mean, but that's actually a reason to work even harder ! You will be proud once you will see how far you've come

[@kamodo2299]

@@MrEysox Thanks man! I sure hope so, it seems like a goal that is always 6 months away, but I just need to trust the process

[@chrisgschwendtner1718]

I'm going through a rough breakup of 4.5 years and am searching for myself. I realize I have no personality and my hobbies/interests are basically watching TV (especially since covid). I too am an introvert but will really keep these steps in mind to develop a passion and become a better storyteller.

[@nullpointer7540]

I like the unusualness in the material structure, you really captured my interest. Well done!

[@tanicwhisper0647]

This is so true. I’ve never had much to talk about with others because I never really had any hobbies or interest that I felt I knew enough about to share or talk about. But when I would listen to others I found that I really enjoyed being around people who loved talking about their passions. (Not gloat) In HS from 2014-2018 I always found the people who would talk about themselves really interesting. If they were in Football, if they were into video games, if they were into partying, if they were into dancing, into cheerleading, into Student Council, into Parades or HOCO’s. I always wanted to listen and engage with them because they always had so much to say about their topic. Even now as an adult I listen and engage with those who PRACTICE their passions. If they know more than general knowledge about a topic they usually peek my interest, and we can sit and converse for hours. EDIT: Something I struggle with as someone who’s lost a lot of friends over the years is I become more closed off. I stopped sharing any of my interest with anyone. I had this deep insecurity that you probably would not want to hear me talk about MY interest for the next 30 mins. I had this coworker at a previous job. He was always surrounded by others, but he was a dick. One thing he had going for him was he did not care if you found the things he liked interesting or not. He was going to talk his head off about his passions, and you were going to listen. He would talk a lot about Football, Fantasy Football, DnD, WWE, Gym, and so much other crap. Dude had tons of knowledge on each topic. Me on the other hand. You’d probably have no idea what the hell I was into.

[@gregorzimmermann9495]

I was listening to this video at work with earphones and googled who Cole Hastings is. A lot of pictures of a guy without wearing a shirt were popping up. I quickly closed the tab. When I turned around, my colleagues were standing there starring at me in a judging way. :D Regardless, your advice is great.

[@1life0gods]

🤣

[@87alock]

Lol

[@cybermark4732]

I appreciate your videos, they are always helpful and insightful. I have been trying to slowly but surely improve myself and the fact that you give out actual things you can do to help achieve these things are monumentally helpful as other videos don't actually go through the steps which might be the most important step towards actual improvement. I am 27 and I have felt I don't have a personality, but how you broke it down as part having a interest in something you are passionate about and being a good story teller is something that never occurred to me, I just kept telling myself I am just not that personable. I have l anxiety and is difficult for me to approach someone with a subject that isn't video games, illustration, or religion and even then I struggle trying to keep a conversation going about those topics as I feel like I have exhausted what the other person might found interesting about my interests. I make a friend and then after a few conversations I feel I have drained the well of topics that might come up organically without me bringing them up. I think the skill I am lacking is being a good story teller like you pointed out. I can't seem to structure why I have my interests and why I enjoy them in appealing ways to others so that they can see why I love what I love. I will try to follow your recommendations and try to become a better storyteller and pay closer attention to conversations of people I deem good story tellers. Thanks Cole!

[@advaitgogte6385]

Love the step by step advice. Can you please make a video on how to build a high value social circle from scratch step by step?

[@dualshock3]

this.. I always either end up alone or with a friend-group full of quitter's/loners themselves which is even worse than being alone.. i'm also surprised how men manage to meet new women in the first place.. most meetup places where you can meet people are suasage-fests..

[@Olixer109]

@@dualshock3 Women are literally everywhere, you can go to the supermarket and meet someone it all depends on your own energy and matching it with someone else. As long as you are confident in who you are as a person, you can even just go out by yourself and do things you enjoy and you'll automatically find people you like because they're doing the same stuff you're doing cause you're in the same places. Key take away is don't go looking for it, be yourself and attract it.

[@JW0121]

@@dualshock3 The fact u mention places as sausage fests , we can tell u have the energy of being needy for women , thats a clear problem you need to work on , and you are not bothering to talk to all the men in these sausage fest places to improve ur social skills is another. Why would a woman want a man like this? And you can literally talk to women in a 30-60min away grocery store or park for reference /expierance and confidence building. You need to imrpove your negative attitude. Cant get women with the energy/attitude you have now

[@von6413]

@@dualshock3 ya the problem is you’re putting women in a different category when it comes to socializing. They’re literally just people like you and me and most prefer to be treated as such. I find it interesting because my guy friends rarely ever talk to women, it’s almost like a foreign concept to them. Meanwhile, over 50% of my friends are actually women and I’ve had no difficulty meeting and talking to any.

[@thomasffrench3639]

@@von6413 yep, men need to value women as friends, and have certain standards for a partner. I have certain expectations, and I can friendzone women who don’t meet up to them. It’s obviously different for everyone, but a lot of dudes are too open to a relationship with their friends even if they aren’t a suitable partner for them, which ends pretty badly. And I’m not saying that they don’t have value, or aren’t attractive, but that it makes things better for everyone instead of a mess with sexual desire and feelings that makes platonic friendships messy.

[@bourne8636]

It’s not the fact that they don’t have a personality, it’s the fact that their afraid to show it.

[@SL-wt8fm]

True

[@darronmarcel3261]

this is me... 😅

[@thisdude9363]

If you think you need to "develop your personality," just like any other self-improvement thing in life, make sure you're doing it for you. Because YOU want to improve. When you try to "improve" purely for the sake of what you *think* other people perceive as better, you'll only be creating a facade. Whether its working on lacking social skills, learning a new skill, finding a new hobby, starting to exercise, or just trying new things, do it for yourself first.

[@woolsey7202]

My personality is the funny type it’s like I just pretend I’m a stand up comedian but weirdly it worked in a few ways 1. Conversations are easier to have 2. Im more okay with being just myself and 3. It gave me the confidence and better judgment of course I think before I say but it amplified

[@ptmirage8473]

What you mean by that? Can you name an example of behaviour? I know how comedians act, but I have no idea how you apply that in real life conversation :)

[@archermaniaford7157]

@@ptmirage8473 Well I have a similar thing and it's just, idk, like you have to fully embrace yourself and be in the moment, say whatever comes to your mind (but make sure it's appropriate for the occasion, like your not gonna make a yo mama joke at your mom's funeral) and say it with confidence. Confidence is infectious so when you're confidence it puts others at ease and not tensed up so much. How to be more confident? Stop thinking about what others will say about you or judge you. It's hard I know and I'm still dealing with it but it feels liberating, like for the first time you can be completely and utterly yourself without a care in the world and people will gravitate toward you. And if you're the type of person to act stuff out, do it. It makes you more unique and make your more memorable and funny. And lastly don't talk like a robot, add some passion into the conversation and some enthusiasm. Talk about what interests you and all that

[@ptmirage8473]

@@archermaniaford7157 Stopping to care what others say is the harfest part. 3 years ago I had no problem with it, was super confident and my life was much better. I don't know what happend. From that point it only went downhill. I miss my older self :( I don't know how to gain everything back and I feel like a prisoner in my body sometimes. Want to change myself, but everytime I think I make progress there's a situation where I go all the way back 😔

[@archermaniaford7157]

@@ptmirage8473 Is it that you aren't being social enough? I speak from experience when I say childhood me was much different than high school me. Childhood me loved rollercoasters, parties, and was extremely extroverted but then I moved schools and that's when I became more timid and closed off. Then I slowly began to get back to that stat of mind by continually doing stuff I wasn't comfortable with doing. For example I would go first during presentations, sure I was scared but I would want to get it out of the way and like the video said, these types of situations are good practice so if there's some social situations, ie, talking to a cashier, a stranger etc try to make then laugh or smile and if you can't do that make a goal to talk to a certain amount of people a day. As for another example my friend has a goal for getting everyone at school to sign his year book. Now you don't have to got to that extent but you definitely want to inch closer and closer out of your comfort zone because I know it can be scary but we're social creatures and need that sort of thing

[@archermaniaford7157]

And I'm still trying to reach for the days when I was a fearless kid and could start conversations like nobody's biz so you're not alone

[@TheIllerX]

This resonates very well with my line of thinking and experiences. I have most likely often been seen as that boring person just blending in, but has no real interests and so on. When I was younger I thought I was just unlucky to not have found any real passion, like the self-help books and gurus speak of. Only in recent years I have begun to understand that "finding your passion" is not a passive process, where you suddenly realize "This is my passion". You have to make a real effort yourself to to get better at things, try to see the beauty in things, try to see nuances. If you are just bored about life and everything, this is not the real world being boring, it is your perception of it and you can change that. Almost anything can become intersting if you give it a chance and actually try to experience it and the inner beauty of it. Use your curiosity to drive you forward. To be bored is often the same as not paying enough attention. This video felt really accurate and honest, so you have one more subscriber now :)

[@slashbangdotcom]

Much love Cole! Certain pieces of your content have been exactly what I needed to hear, and your delivery is spot on. Your willingness to call BS on common practices that don't work is refreshing.

[@perphenanolastnamethopls3610]

Holy shit, that really means a lot. Choosing your passion made it all click for me. I've been stuck with my self help because I don't have anything I'm dedicated towards. For the past 7 years or so I've been worried about my ability to choose what i want to do for life. But, what I realize now... is it's all about just choosing something and running with it. Your brain will enjoy it on its own.

[@MygovernmentNameisLondon]

Your voice and tone = *CHEFS KISS* Perfecto for this video 👏🏽

[@christheplayer99]

This kind of videos often help me realize I'm not as bad as I think I am. My main hobby is playing videogames, as I like to get invested both in the stories, gameplay and even lore at times. I feel like I'm at my best when I describe something game-related, be it a strategy or tip on how to approach a certain segment, or a particular set piece of lore. Part of the reason why I found the videos describing Necromorphs' anatomy so interesting, for instance. And despite not doing it much (not unless I have nothing else to do), I also enjoy drawing, and watching anime. I was able to speak to this girl I barely knew from highschool through a shared interested in Death Note and we talked about some drawings I made a couple of years ago. We still talk to this day, and she assured my I'm an amazing person. So I guess it's not that I don't have a personality, it's just really well hidden as I don't open myself to people that easily. I hope this helps anyone reading realizing they're worth much more than you think! Enjoy your hobbies, whatever they may be :)

[@pucci2k915]

Good job Chris 🙏🏾 I hope you doing well today ! I'm also have a hobby that I can describe very well for long periods of time (basketball) just like you do for videogames and I'm trying my best to open to new people

[@hrvojestilin6256]

Maaan, the best thing after coming home from work is the notification from your channel 💪💪

[@ColeHastings]

I really appreciate that!

[@isaaccmp4]

I related to this video more than any other video you've made. Great job.

[@gabelossusthe4th]

Cole, I love your videos because you're one of the only guys who can talk about a very specific experience in sophomore year of high school and remain holding my attention. Bravo!

[@myrusEW]

I'm extremely passionate about boxing, tech, business, and sex. The problem is, I genuinely don't care about others. I don't know how to care, or how to show I care. My boss pointed out to me that I walk away from people mid conversation once I understand what is being said, I do not, and it feels as if I can not connect to others. My passions are for my own benefit, and there is no benefit for me in spending time on others. I am 26. I have had a very varied life. I just don't see or hear people and think man, I wonder what they think or wow I wonder how they feel. It doesn't matter to me. If someone has something I want I can put up the facade long enough and carry the conversation long enough to attain that goal, but if there is no gain for me, I never care. I am supposed to change this and work on this, but it doesn't happen.

[@isabelladeangelo8474]

One of my favorite things about homeschooling: you can develop your talents. I love to learn about animals and mental illnesses. And having a topic where you just can go on and on about and have someone listen, is the greatest feeling.

[@pubcle]

I completely agree on much of this. I'm a full on advocate of self improvement, I've been steadily working at this.

[@__matcha]

Let me add a small thing about how finding passion takes time. In my earlier days of lifting, i started with 5kg dumbells and i could do 7 reps of 3 sets before my arms would give up. It was painful and wanted to quit. But i didn't and continued on lifting. 2 days later, i was able to increase it to 10, and after two more days i did 15 . Nearly after a month, i made my way to 10kg and i was able to do 15 reps of 5 sets without getting tired. Each time my reps increased, so did my motivation. It does really increase when you see that you're getting better at something, regardless of what it is. Everything can be your passion as long as you see your progress and enjoy it. What i'm trying to say is, don't give up on something early. Give it a second chance.

[@01iverQueen]

Idk how anyone could not have passion about anything in the world. Maybe because I was born on 1997. But since I was a kid even tho I was super introverted and shy I was very interested in cars (being just 4 years I was able to distinguish all the car brands just by looking at them), was riding bicycles, all types of sports, making friends, movies, books, games etc etc. Young kids and people sit too much on social media and tiktoks that ruin their dopamine system so they are becoming lazy and not passionate about anything it feels like. And because I used to professionally swim, then went to basketball training next for two years and then to the gym I got more passionate than ever

[@sentinelprime5728]

Cheers man

[@Yash_3102]

You're passionate about the KZbin Content you make. That is your personality. Thanks.

[@MgelikaXevi]

great video. And the part about passion was super precise. People wait till they get struck by "passion lightning" without realizing, that it is super rare occurrence. Most passions for 95% of people - are developed through skills and professionalism. It is very rare that you get a passion just out of blue sky, just by looking once at something. And even if it looks fun - you have a long road to go, till you become competent enough to express that passion. Otherwise it is just stays on the level like "yeah, I observed it, seemed pretty cool, but no, i have no idea how it works" ..

[@DanSung2021]

Yeah I remember when I was basically the quite kid in my school (primary and secondary). When I got into secondary the girls thought I looked better than the other guys I guess you could say, but if we talked I wouldn’t be able to do so much, unlike now where I have a lot of girls liking me. Now I can talk to basically everyone and love school and the everyday interactions. And having girls like me and having fun with every moments and being grateful motivates me to keep on getting better, so one day I’am not only the strong man I want to be, but I can have a beautiful girl (and amazing kid too).

[@addylupe5997]

Oh man this is too real for me. Very on point. Inability to tell stories has always been one of my biggest downfalls in terms of social interactions. I don't know why I never tried developing the skill. I would usually chime in in conversations or just have simple back and forth, but barely ever spoke at length about things from my experiences. Growing up I just thought stories were basically describing a list of events to people and that's it... I saw that others could add more zest and embellishment to it but I never bothered, or thought it was too tricky. I also had trouble getting the sequences of events about occurrences straight in my mind, in a way that's easily presentable and makes sense to people. I would never know how much detail or context to give. Like sometimes I would give wayyy too many details that were totally unnecessary to people and made them bored or annoyed, or other times rushed through the story at a very birds-eye perspective without giving proper context or details, leaving people with a confused look on their face. Sometimes it would be some disjointed, incongruent mess that was a mix of both in the wrong way. I always chalked this all up to some kind of memory problem, anxiety, or disorder like ADHD or maybe even Asperger's or something (although I'm self-diagnosing here). I never really bothered sitting down and writing stories about mundane things to practice working that "muscle" out. Definitely going to try these tips. Thanks!

[@trolleriffic]

Your comment was a story, and I honestly thought it was interesting and well-written. I think you can tell stories, but you don't believe you can do it or you struggle to tell them in conversations which is true of a lot of people. I'd always recommend keeping a story relatively brief, just in case someone doesn't have the time to stick around and listen to a longer story, or in case you get interrupted. If they're interested they can ask you for extra details, at which point you've developed the story into a conversation and not just a one way communication.

[@Fluctuatewithme]

i found this video randomly. i am not even subscriber of this channel.but this man just got a core and centred reason i was looking for. thanks bro. i want and wish your all need be fulfilled becze your video drastically changed my life. thanks again. .

[@Pung_Fungler]

Great video! This connected a lot of dots in life for me. I’ve never felt short on personality, but storytelling has been a weak point in my life. That contrast can sometimes leave me feeling like I’d be better off not even TRYING to tap into my identity. Storytelling is a universal skill that everybody should have if they want to deepen their ability to reflect, connect with people, and just breathe more excitement out into the world. Love it

[@macewindu6853]

Opposite issue, I have a personality but people are assholes to me. I’ve learned to be myself in the best way, and I can be pretty goofy. I’m not overly annoying, but people continue to be assholes to me

[@vicki11edbycuriousity]

F them. You sound fun to be around in my book.

[@LorettaBangBang]

Find better people

[@macewindu6853]

@@LorettaBangBang I do, they always find me

[@thomasffrench3639]

Hey man, seems you are living your best life. Next time people are assholes just say “take a seat, Skywalker”

[@donanderson3520]

Tell them to fuck off

[@kanseidorifto2430]

“Unlike most people who watch self improvement videos” You nailed the comedy there😂

[@Alltagundso]

Wow, that was really one of the best and most useful videos you ever made! I agree so much with creating one's passion and also realized that I missed out on developing my story telling skills.

[@frogmanxbl7129]

Bro I literally had an experience like this, I was attending class one day and for some reason was feeling good and more talkative than usual, and I made a joke to one of my classmates and she responded "wow look who finally has a personality". That was kind of an "oh shit" moment for me, because I realized that my shyness and lack of engagement was actually noticed by other people. I think a lot of introverts like myself tend to clam up and think that no one will notice us, but unfortunately people will still notice you but now they'll think your shy and weird. There's no "non-noticing" option, might as well just embrace it and be noticed for actually having a personality. Much better than being noticed for having NO personality.

[@valeriagonzalez8321]

Hi. I stumbled upon your channel just because I have been self reflecting. Your content is high quality and very helpful. It's relatable and it's just what I needed. Thank you

[@giovanniboretti]

Wow man, this is really one of the best videos you made. Amazing storytelling, so great that I wasn't having any other thought in my mind other than the story... keep going like this bro

[@roxylindholm5179]

If someone tells you, that you don’t have a personality, it just means you don’t have the personality, they like to see in you. They want you to be what they like you to be. Going their way, actually will destroy your personality. You are not anyone’s puppet. If you are boring, but feel ok with it, then be it. Nothing wrong with it.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

true

[@xxmountaindewxx7893]

My favorite fiction book, Solaris, did really help with my understanding of storytelling, theres certainly truth to that

[@77luchris]

this is the video i needed bro.l i've recently been super focused on school (highschool) and realized that the reason why I don't know who I am is because I have no passions, nothing to make me interesting. I'm really glad that I live in a period of time where people online make videos like these for guidance. thx

[@tysondigital5]

you have to select the people you want to be yourself around. showing passion or personality will often makes the bland and timid masses envious of you, which creates silent enemes. no one cares about you; they only care how they appear to others. the people that have the same friends for the longest amount of time; there is no conflict because bland personalities don't get jealous of each other. To know who is a true friend, see if their eyes light up to news of your success, or if they become low key jealous.

[@nazarripey7208]

It's crazy how often I can relate to this guy's videos

[@Mecca188]

Same it’s like we lived the same life

[@padraigrhee3857]

Cole, I just stumbled upon your channel and have found what you talk about all so informative and true to how I view the world. I’m currently struggling to improve my social skills and grow out of being a chronic introvert, and your videos have been incredibly inspiring. Thank you so much for doing what you do. 👊❤️

[@zaidsada6841]

Great video Cole, very inspiring. And just in time as I am preparing for a deep dive into a social skills improvement plan. I will bookmark this video for future reference.

[@dani8509]

I dont need personality to finish my job excellently, but if i need personality i will listen to you. Im a programmer too.

[@K9jp8406kane]

I learned I loved running, because I loved Sonic Adventure 2 growing up, so I subconsciously ran around a lot… and my First track coach nicknamed me “Sonic Kane”, since I loved running around everywhere that caused my ability to run very fast… I got lucky with my P.T. Coach, instructor, and one of my fans to see despite my body was recovering from a D.U.I. car accident, where I pulled out of my best friend’s driveway (who happened to live on a busy street) I pulled out of her driveway, than I don’t remember anything post that… till I woke up in some hospital bed, and I impressed some doctors with my desire to right away run… again, so now fast forward to some what modern day, and I managed to prove to my P.T. Coach that I love to run about and proven my knowledge of how to heal wounds and I love P.K. , well I had to learn how to heal myself faster because I used to run a lot , bike ride for miles, and re-taught them bout the importance of Endurance, run for miles, and my understanding on too build up running speed, helps… they needed someone to teach Running and since I proved to be very quick on my feet, and agelic. I did prove to him my desire was to find a way to teach people how to be agile, since I was young 😅

[@serv1894]

thank you for the storytelling advice man. I've always had issues communicating my experiences because I never actually learned how to tell a inticing story. I started a google doc where I'm going to write little mini stories about my day. I'll definitely start reading more fiction too. Thank you for this video!

[@toolovely6744]

I love your channel man, these tips are actually useful and unlike other channels. Keep the good work !!

[@willbeatz._5800]

Awesome Video man, i love every Single topic you choose! Keep it up

[@ColeHastings]

thank you

[@alexcook7047]

Telling a story about how you found your own video describing how to tell a story - that's some master level KZbin inception right there!

[@BrunoGambini]

Dude, that was sick! Great video. Congrats!

[@6341haha]

I don't even watch his videos anymore I just listen. That's how good he's gotten with the story telling

[@donquixote2072]

As we used to say in the old country "A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse."

[@dragonballzkhai]

Great self improvement videos. Concise with realistic results and systems

[@ColeHastings]

thank you

[@kindallwoodly1101]

@@ColeHastings hey man new fan of yours, wondering if you can make a video for men who are struggling with feeling like they messed up their relationships, and how to mentally recover from that?

[@Hivatel]

I build my personality off of my jokes, morals, ideas, and philosophy. That's who I am.

[@sneaaroravipangam5572]

omg this is what I needed!! thank u !!