The Signs of a Doomed Relationship | Esther Perel

[@carriepriegel6477]

Bored silly with 99% of the self help gurus/their repetitive pablum, Ms. Perel is so refreshing and wise; her guidance is practical and inspiring, her depth of knowledge is platinum & highest grade diamonds, in its rarity & priceless value.💖

[@heathersohappy2833]

45:45 addresses the issue of when to end the relationship

[@rebeccajones8628]

Thank you.

[@helenaquin1797]

I didn't really hear the answer except for her to say her answers are dependent on the context of the person or people.

[@kapler79]

Neither of them actually address this.

[@jamilahtigner9009]

@@helenaquin1797 From what I recall, the only concrete example she provided was a couple in which one person puts forth effort to improve the relationship while the other person does not. She suggests that that kind of relationship is certainly doomed, and that she has seen some of those in her office when it becomes clear that one partner is only participating in therapy in hopes of "fixing" the other person yet isn't willing to also look at themselves and take steps to repair the relationship.

[@happiness4541]

Thank you

[@Joy-mm3cz]

I love Ester P. I have followed her and her work for 4 yrs now. I have her books, podcasts and game. She has transformed my relationships, both professionally and social.

[@shellshelly5552]

I believe that this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent lady, is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever listened to.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Yes I agree!! 😊

[@gigicochiante1305]

Me too omg I love the way she explains things and uses her hands when talking

[@antonroux6737]

you need to get out more

[@single_daddin_it]

@@antonroux6737no need to rain on someone else’s parade, friend. I try and just move along if I don’t agree. However, I fully agree that this woman’s insight is very valuable. A lot of people don’t have the knowledge and experience to navigate toxic relationship dynamics.

[@Becoming_undone]

Same!!! she is the full embodiment of what a hero looks like to me. I’m consistently astounded by the brilliance that just naturally flows from her and the ease in which she translates human behaviors to root issues.

[@Nature-w4k]

I love this lady!!! She is the most intelligent, insightful, “GET IT” woman. Thank you Esther!!

[@IndigoHazelnut]

Wonderful conversation. Thank you for this podcast. On the note of AI I will share an observation: When my sister was born my mother was in the same hospital ward as a woman who had just given birth but was under observation due to grade a drug addiction. I remember hearing her baby's cries & the nurses explained that basically the baby was crying so much as it was born with the drug addiction. It was one of the most terrifying cries I had ever heard. I had forgotten about this until a month ago when a woman came into my workplace with her 2 infants. At one point she took the phone off the hands of one of the infants and they started crying.. The same terrifying cry that baby with the addiction had.. When experts state that technology has no impact on mental health issues.. I honestly think they have their blinders on. I'm glad Esther Perel is speaking so frankly about her concerns.. While it is not helpful to get all doom and gloom about technology (it does have its pluses..such as me listening to this podcast).. Its important to acknowledge what issues are arising

[@Lifetimelearningisbrave]

Tech in addition to our country being the ONLY developed one that doesn’t give paid year for 1-5 years for a mother to raise her infant. Times that fear by 80% of our infants at 6-12 weeks for 50 hours a week eeek. We have facilities raising our children and we pretend that is woman being equal instead of our babies growing into anxiously attached adults without a family identity as a home base.

[@CatCassandra]

Esther is the Contessa of compassion and kindness. I would give anything to have her giving advice to senior couples. Specially when they start at 62-65

[@jenreis3887]

‘The old ball and chain’ always was pure projection…. Historically it has been and oftentimes still is women who are completely tied down and expected to live a very different standard of life than men. I grew up Roman Catholic and lived it!!

[@williamweb9782]

Are religion and monogamy automatically entwined?

[@Peem_pom]

@@williamweb9782quite

[@Puuws]

yep men just have a way harder time giving up sleeping around and taking responsibility that comes with a family. They trow a fit if there is too much asked of them and accuse the other off wining when they are just asking for a fair devide. Church and other religions somehow reinforced that by almost suggesting women should serve their man, while that should be God

[@jenreis3887]

Religion and monogamy are absolutely entwined…except that monogamy applied ONLY to the female….Catholicism is rife with hypocrisy and double standard. Women are taught to ‘serve her man’ and expect nothing in return….she’s lucky if he’s a good provider. If he’s an alcoholic who doesn’t work too bad…divorce is NOT permitted. If he beats her, that’s his choice she can not leave. She can not take birth control, she can not have abortions and she can NOT say no to sex. She can not get an education or a job, have a bank account, etc….that was the life of my grandmothers!!! I’m born in 1975….so this is not very long ago. Men set the tone for relationships even still…due to the past legacy of heterosexual unions. If a woman was ‘lucky’ she got a decent husband…otherwise too bad. Patriarchy needs to be dismantled completely as it does not serve either gender. Blessings to all the men brave enough to tear down these walls…us women have been working at it for a long time and we need you to do your part. These red pill dudes are just trying to grasp onto threads of male toxicity and patriarchy….the brave ones take a stand against that mindset!

[@freeman8759]

So what it to be said of the marriage/monogamy/exclusivity ultimatum, that is usually imposed by women? Its odd to hear these takes, but never see it. It would seem the remedy is simply a "No" to a proposal and guts to stand on the decision, in the Western world.

[@heathersohappy2833]

Esther's closing comment is the introduction of a whole new conversation that I would love to listen to and engage in! "We talk about loneliness. We talk about suicide. We talk about breakdowns of institutions. We talk about how the burden of self has never been heavier. But when we talk about it like that it feels very abstract. When you look at the life of actual people, (especially younger people, as I do), it warrants attention."

[@dachater1]

I love what she says about lying horizontal during an argument and humour! Humour is such an important salve in a relationship. The person who brings that brings a gift! Also not about arguing better but relating better.

[@billpetersen298]

The whole part about choosing to thrive, after horrendous trauma. Is so amazing. My wife is so scared to open herself, to joy, laughter, sex. It results in being sick, and unhappy. (Not fulfilled). The plastic wrapped couch. This talk is inspiring. ❤️ Love you all.

[@AlexFromToronto]

Is there such thing as a bad podcast featuring Esther? She is brilliant. Too many bookmarked videos that have been immensely helpful. She has worked hard to get here - that itself is inspirational.

[@MHobbs43]

Great talk. Six months ago I moved closer to my BF and said I was committed to the relationship. Now I realize that I was lying to myself. I didn't want a long-term relationship, I just wanted an adventure and expected him to make it right so I could stay. I'm ready for my next adventure and I don't want to blame anyone else for this.

[@iamphoenix5376]

That’s a wonderful idea! There’s life after 60 years old. And it’s not easy.

[@swadey2.017]

That mentality is what kept you single, now you’re old and lonely

[@MHobbs43]

@@swadey2.017 I'm old and I've known myself in amazing ways. The goal is not men, it's a relationship with the world I've been placed in. Glory has all the feelings, even loneliness. It's beautiful.

[@verb0ze]

That's beautiful that you have self-awareness to come to this realization. As long as you are honest with him and don't string him along, no issues here in my book.

[@znieszka]

Jordan, Thank you for Clarifying about Polish citizens who were also persecuted and died in WW2. I really appreciate this, I am a Polish citizen, and Polish Jews suffered emancly at the hands of Germans. However, the war affected everyone and 3 million Polish citizens died in WW2 and 3 million Polish Jews were killed at the hands of Germany!

[@kitgin4504]

Blame the warmonger Churchill who betrayed you

[@kapler79]

The soviets drew the Polish blood.

[@JordanHarbingerShow]

you're welcome. thank you for listening and for this comment.

[@martianmoongdds]

Wonderful. Finally someone asking Esther questions about herself and her background. Thank you so much.

[@JordanHarbingerShow]

thanks for noticing this! interesting people almost always have a very interesting past, yet most folks ignore this.

[@munimuni1385]

Thank you Esther! I never get tired of listening to you. You are wise and fun and very courageous. We need more of you!

[@jasminegarcia1046]

I really loved the plastic couch metaphor. Such a beautiful way of understanding not only relationships but it’s relevant to how you view your life in general. What a great analogy from her personal life. Thank you for sharing!

[@andreacravinhos9603]

Where have you been all my liffe⁉️ 😄❤ On my 3rd marriage. It's finally the right one. We're not in trouble - we believe in relationship psychology and maintenance. And, no surprises here, as a woman who has struggled with some of the things you're talking about, and felt that I died in previous relationships, I'm especially interested in this conversation. "Humor and playfulness" - Yes‼️‼️‼️‼️❤

[@kapler79]

How much money did you make from the divorces?

[@andreacravinhos9603]

@kapler79 None. Absolutely none. Got taken advantage of the first time, and the second time, I refused to ask for anything.

[@sharonjoan9997]

@@kapler79such a show of who you are. You did not deserve an answer

[@LCarefortheworld]

OMG, this is the third video I've seen featuring this lady (with due respect), and her skills are truly remarkable.

[@fromdoormattoflyingcarpetw407]

Yes!!

[@galateagalactica]

I love Esther Perel, her vibrancy, her eloquence and her wisdom. I am humbled by her generosity and in awe of her adaptability. This interview was mostly nutritious, but then, when her personal life was exposed without context or warning she was vulnerated and the interview lost course for a moment. Even then, what she said was inspiring and full of insight, power and authenticity. Bravo to this amazing woman, I always learn from her.

[@AmusedPineTrees-wh1ed]

It's a treasure to learn of Esther Perels childhood and circumstances of her parents. Thank you.

[@rsaha1796]

This amazing lady has a life of ger own . She is a great healer. A great inspiration to life.

[@Bchristensen]

Thumbs down because the click bait title. The conversation barely covers this.

[@anineavenant375]

Not really. If you're not hearing the relation to the heading, then it makes sense you would need to listen to something like what's stated. She answers it in more than one way. Maybe just not what you want to hear. As she turns the responsibility back to you and makes one look at yourself.

[@cupcake0480]

Alan Robarge - a psychologist and couples therapist (he has videos on KZbin) has some brilliant insights into how we fool ourselves into staying in destructive relationships. And on attachment styles and attachment wounds.

[@heartwisdomlove]

what Ester is sharing is very insightful and this is very refreshing

[@conniekeyse]

Esther is beautiful and brilliant. I always walk away from her talks with insights and a new perspective. Thank you for this amazing conversation. 💖

[@Spiritfba]

No mention of compulsive porn obsession that is ruining so many relationships. When is society going to start talking about this? It’s the elephant in the room and everyone is too brainwashed or ashamed to bring it up.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Not sure it is the elephant in the room. Besides, Esther is addressing couple problems, not individual ones. Masturbation or voyeurism does fit into a less mature level of adult life. Don't you think ? Many women (maybe even men) put up with this, reasoning immaturity on the part of their partner, maybe even shyness. When bringing it out into the open and discussing it together is healthier. Or suggesting therapy, for each partner as well as couple therapy. Or agreeing to whatever fits their individual needs.

[@AdrianaCowick]

@donaldjohnson-ow3kquh no 🤣

[@AdrianaCowick]

@donaldjohnson-ow3kq I don’t have to be a man to understand that using porn is only harming yourself. People watch porn because we live in a fallen world where we call good evil and evil good. Pornography is evil. It destroys peoples minds and that’s exactly where satan himself wants you. It’s a lust issue. A heart issue. Which can only be mended by Jesus Christ. If you put your faith in Jesus and believe He died for your sins and was resurrected defeating death, you have the promise of eternal salvation with God our Father in Heaven. All you have to do is believe and you’re sealed forever. And when we’re in Heaven, there will be no suffering and no pain and no pointing the finger at one another saying “we only put up with you because of sex!” That’s a heart that has grown cold and only Jesus can heal that 🤍 It’s no one genders fault it’s just our sin nature and the evidence of our flesh.

[@ElleJeane_]

Addiction to porn is an form of escapism, like alcohol, drugs, to avoid feeling, Dr K covers this in his channel, @healthygamerGG

[@pamelawilson5975]

She is fantastic. Hopefully, the host will see her to better understand how he can stop neglecting his wife.

[@canadianhappyinitalytruest6556]

i had the same thought. Big fan of ester, not a fan of Jordan. Good luck to his wife as he seemed to humble brag when relating what his mother in law was saying. Sheesh.

[@aegliv1589]

Incredible analysis. I want to add that in order to approach our partner first of all we must come with good will and they too. Is also known that we replicate our first family's learned behaviours, so we are basically doomed if we are not aware of that.

[@penelopecarrington2337]

As interesting as this is, the title is misleading. We're not advised when relationships are doomed...

[@Charity1277]

I hear men saying to their wives " clean up this house"!. But they never ask their wife if they can help or can they hire a maid to help her.many women are overwhelmed with the mess from the children and they need help.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Shouldn't be any surprise why women are choosing the single life

[@johnfatorich3494]

Shouldn't have to say it, you don't let it get to that point. Maintain cleanliness. Team effort.

[@sunmoonstars3879]

Yeah if you’re a mother who can focus solely on the family (ie not working outside the home for an external source) then keeping everything running smoothly shouldn’t be an issue as long as she’s physically and emotionally fit, healthy and resilient; with a husband who’s providing security, kindness and generosity - women need to feel safe and secure to thrive. If she’s expected to behave like a man and earn money for an external entity, then how on earth is she going to have the mental and physical capacity to maintain the home? Men and women are very different species and right now that’s not being recognised and women are really struggling, and men aren’t happy either.

[@jnwest2029]

@@johnfatorich3494if you’re shouting at your wife to clean up this house. That’s a demand for her to comply. It’s not a team effort. Men need to clean up their own homes and stop expecting women who also work to do it all.

[@Alnivol666]

@@jnwest2029 Nobody is expecting them to do it all. In fact, women today...modern women do very little but expect a lot. We are not living in the 70's. Women have never been as lazy as they are today. Also, if you both are working, get a freaking maid once a week or two weeks.

[@monikawilliams6337]

after 42 years of a challenging marriage I've discovered my husband is an undiagnosed Autistic and everything makes sense. So although I can understand and relate to all the tips, and have tried all the angles my husband does not understand even if explained, He actually says "I don't get it"

[@SENSEF]

Me too! Can't find a therapist who understands. The last one just said we're too far gone, just get divorced, as if that magically solves everything, which is doesn't when you have school age children, you NEVER stop being co-parents and divorce can be just trading one set of problems for another. We were hoping the Autism diagnosis would help bring resources, but nope! Only research online and KZbin about Autism helps, but a real adult Autism therapist would make a huge difference in uncovering what can be changed, what cant, and how we navigate that reality. Including how do we move forward despite all the hurt, damage, financial disasters, etc, especially now that we see how much the Autism contributed to his choices and behaviors.

[@cjamis]

@SENSEF I don't know where you are located, but don't give up. I'm a Psychiatrist and happen to see your post. I hope you don't mind but I wanted to help.There are resourses, even if you get help with remote video and online groups. If you see these resources and it feels impossible to navigate or leads no where, call the Autism Society to have an advocate help you lically. Also, your insurance has an obligation to your husbcwith his diagnosis to find therapists for him that are AutismSD experts.(don't mention couples therapy to insurance co. But you can get at it as individual for him). Sometimes Adult autism has ADHD symptoms as well, a therapist who is an expert in the therapy and life coaching in ADHD is also skilled in adult autism, especially at the PhD level and some psch social workers too at masters level.​ These 2 links are to national resourses and rights: autismsociety.org :www.autismspeaks.org/resources-autistic-adults This link provides virtual sessions and takes insurance.www.prosperhealth.io/?ph_cam=PH_Web_PMax&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwp4m0BhBAEiwAsdc4aMmTWsKmkgQkVmU0x_x0Rt5NFJWX3AXNJcjpr3wFYKW--DCvTwaJXBoCY2cQAvD_BwE@SENSEF

[@locationsnb]

It all comes down to trust

[@doviejames]

"Protect the relationship" made it impossible for me to come to terms with my ex's covert selfishness and profound disinterest in my well being. When I finally stopped doing that it didn't very long for her to make everything clear. I can't blame her for being who she is, my only regret is I didn't stop protecting the relationship 15 years earlier.

[@sarah4841]

Such a great conversation! Love love love her!!! Thank you🙏🙏❤️

[@tlrobbins1]

This was such valuable information! Thank you!

[@briannerk3373]

Monogamy in the past and some present cultural circumstance, CAN be about buttressing a patriarchy; but that doesn't mean that it is in every society. Monagamy is there for a reason; cheating rips apart a holy bond of trust between two soul mates... to reduce it to "patriarchy" signals a contemptible turn toward a malignant paranoic type of identity politics. honestly this is pretty gross to listen to because she had valuable things to say about relationships in the past. You cant get everything in life, live with it. Limits aren't always bad.

[@roses6564]

Ha, ha. If they are soulmates, they don't cheat. If they cheated, they weren't soulmates. Most married people are NOT soulmates. The vast majority of marriages are transactional even if people don't think so this is their case. Sure it is. kzbin.info/www/bejne/h3eXqZ2cnsqmjrs

[@kapler79]

She has relevant insights but this reduction of monogamy to outdated social norms is wrong on a lot of levels. Non-monogamous relations have a dreadful track record of success, as do civilizations that allow them.

[@kacake]

Yes, this is true, when a husband hurts his wife, he is hurting himself, and vice versa. Your input determines your output. When you appreciate the strength first then suggest to improve on weakness and in the end close by saying, your relationship is better than you and I... If you have same belief, never break up, if you don't have the same belief, leave each other.

[@anniemac7545]

I love that your husband chose an Australian accent on GPS Siri....I'm Australian and thought it sounded very broad and grating...so thank you!

[@collective_tarot]

I loooooove Esther Perel !!!!

[@RyannCohn]

This unbelievable inspiration is truly life-changing and ridiculously brave. She makes me want to be brave, or at least learn how to be.

[@coutureleotards]

Ester please come to the @Highly Initiated podcast. Your work has helped me tremendously in changing my opinions and views of the hurt of adultery. He claimed he was going through a midlife crisis so when you say its not about you its about him. It was so valid! I healed faster because I understood my part and his part in the divorce. I still cut his 🍑 off 😂 but I wasn't angry anymore about an adult making a choice that was contrary to my beliefs and values. I don't hold on to that pain anymore because true peace is so much better for my health. While all humans benefit from Esters explanation of relationships the black community as small as it is in the US is lacking any idea of the concepts of relationship, monogamy and the mindset needed to even consider marriage.

[@Lindseyro]

Sadly nowadays most of/ many of our cultures are lacking these concepts and relationship values etc etc. . . I totally understand where u are coming from. & We all deserve happiness, love, excitement, honesty, loyalty, genuineness, and the list goes on... I hope each and everyone of us who might be struggling or having issues in this department, I hope we all reach that good sweet spot one day, sooner than later. & As i/we grow older n more wise, more n more is starting to make sense n open my eyes n mind to an updated more mature perspective look on everything involving this complicated subject. The precious thing called "relationship life".

[@coutureleotards]

@@Lindseyro All of that 💯😆 I totally agree with you and yes wisdom and growth has truly changed my perspective on my relationship with me and then any over flow I can share with others. I care enough for myself and other humans to take the time to fill my own cup first. All over the internet toxic relationships are the most viewed. It's good to know there are people healing and seeking some rational in this crazy thing called Love 🤣💖

[@angierucinski5694]

That was absolutely fascinating Thank you Jordan, it was the most interesting thing I've listened to in ages.

[@janeshelswell3313]

What a fantastic and insightful interview!

[@mullraerae299]

No, we weren't meant to live like this, absolutely spot on, and yet we carry on living like this, don't live with your partner, end of, sadly most cannot afford to live like that.

[@pino_de_vogel]

A relatrionship is doomed when one of you don't want to fight and change/compromise anymore. It's not rocket science. Words don't matter actions do. Here saved you 80 minutes :) spend it doing something nice for your partner.

[@karinesavard2016]

Thanks 👍🤗💯

[@JillCox-mm9un]

Sometimes the words said to them, critical and mean words are the reason a person no longer wants to try anymore. The reason they check out.

[@pino_de_vogel]

@@JillCox-mm9un Then the person is not worthy as that's a single person issue. If you can't take critique you are not mature enough for a relationship.

[@ambercozzinowak]

Wonderful. Watched to the last minute.

[@enarcadie1105]

She's brilliant and amazing in all she says and does.

[@asset34]

Nothing about identifying a doomed relationship here…

[@verb0ze]

Esther says that monogamy has been something that's been imposed on women by the patriarchy, which I can logically understand. However, this begs the question then that, in our more modern free world, why is it that women still choose that? Why is it that a woman still want a man who will devote attention to her and her only, as opposed to pursuing many partners, and why is it they still get jealous of the attention a man might give to another woman? My hunch is that there is an inheritant aspect of safety that comes with monogamy that appeals to both men and women. Else, throughout various cultures, polygamy would be the dominant relationship style, especially in today's world.

[@Sparkrootwild2023]

There are many ways to be a sexual human being across the globe. Different cultures have many different styles of relating sexually, it’s not either monogamy for life or polygamy. There are myriad versions of polyamory or serial monogamy, it’s only when Christianity came along with its jesuits and missionaries that the nuclear family enforcement became embedded into colonized communities. It’s a wholly unnatural way to relate on every level. And the more the western imagination becomes concretized into the imposed artificialities of the disconnected and largely meaning void west, the less we can remember what is natural for our species, and the more afraid we become for lack of familiar support, the isolated two parents can never be an entire village to each other or their children, nor can compulsory schooling serve as a “community.” Essentially, this pressure cooker cage of accumulation and coping is all the western industrialized human has left. It’s both resented and clung to, for lack of any other option, for lack of imagination, for fear and control, all of which is very good for the economy, and a disaster for the human spirit. Look around, it’s a highly medicated, depressed, rioting imprisoning institutionalized and very expensive medically distastrous mess. The west and its many impositions is a fail, unless you look at it in terms of herd management for profit, in which case it’s working out just fine.

[@wendyhopkins4045]

Yes!! Simply ask what your wife truly wants … probably a break !

[@carmengutierrez4466]

What about Loyalty?

[@ricklegendary2990]

sometimes, I ask my wife if she wants to watch TV together, she says no, she's not in the mood for that, do you want to go for a ride , again... no, I just want to chill, I started feeling like I'm trying to build a connection and she was like " leave me alone, so I thought maybe I should give her that " alone time as a indication that I care, however it feels like she controls the narrative because it's like we do the " We " things when shes ready as I'm alot more flexible. this is where in at

[@maggiemiddleton8760]

What is relational and what is individual? Love that

[@rachelsnewlife]

I am a Jewish (Polish heritage) woman who also has had Holocaust surviving family members. My "silly" story (humor is everything!!!) I wanted to share is that the plastic covers were appreciated when the teens in the household got into dad's liquor cabinet for the first time and threw up on the couches!! The uncomfortable covers sure came in handy cuz mom would have had our hides!!

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

First Rule don't bring up things from Last month or last year. It's Irrelevant. Talk about NOW. Why your angry now.

[@lesliewelch2890]

I mean, if one does not make room to validate and hear what their partner was upset about, the issue does not go away. If it keeps coming up, you haven’t made space for them to feel heard.

[@sussannekeith5676]

Yes, stop with the history…

[@MitchL4yt]

This is such a brilliant learning topic .

[@kapler79]

Monogamy is the reason we enjoy a great standard of living.

[@fredb2517]

This was such a rich conversation

[@mandysugden2819]

Wow! Very impressive. She is so interesting. Basically she's a communication and mutual respect expert. Thankfully I already do most of these things already. Really interesting x

[@chereeburtner4659]

I think Jordan needs to learn to do laundry and take some chores from his wife. Sounds like he won't do washing his washcloth for 3 months if she didn't do it. He's an adult, do adult tasks. Help with the kids,etc. He should ask her, how can I help?

[@camellia8625]

Even better, just see what needs to be done and tackle some of it.

[@Liesh_K]

Jordan needs to learn a lot of things beyond himself.

[@zztop8592]

I think we all live day to day knowing that tomorrow could be our last day on this planet.

[@Inspiration_Connect]

EP is switched on

[@oderatheartist1994]

Hello Esther, i totally love your talks.

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

I love Esther Perel's perspective. Great that she emphasizes HUMOR! And something worth pondering that she asks, "What are you fighting ABOUT? and What are you fighting FOR?"

[@kaylabryson1932]

Jordan, take her advice!! Give wife alone time !! Time off! Many stay at home mothers don’t get much time off.

[@Jenny-ls7hf]

She’s brilliant.

[@catherinedao1592]

Very useful advices. She is great, vey intelligent lady.

[@marcusmagnificus1984]

Great explanation. Still, cheating is cheating.

[@mfanakithi2002]

I enjoy listening to her perspective. Trying to get my gal to buy in

[@Kv-pk2st]

Good luck. I hope she follows your lead.

[@Emy53]

When we are young teens, we're in such a hurry to grow up, but now that we're all grown up, we stress over responsibility that comes with being an adult. Then we worry about how old we are and want to reverse the aging process.

[@rudolfmohrmann2112]

Amazing.

[@erinloo8921]

He sats he doesnt want to talk then he cannot stop. Tedious

[@xawki]

Thank you! You are inspiring.

[@caringforall4454]

The excuses of needing adventure, wanting a different life, unhappy with responsibilities or boredom are all superficial. You need to dig down to get to root of infidelity- usually attachment issues or sexual abuse from childhood

[@Amy-sb8bb]

She's great. I didn't think this host was that great. Especially as the section on signs of a doomed relationship is mostly a personal history lesson and doesn't actually discuss the signs!

[@Nexus2UAll]

'Monogamy has been an imposition on women'. So I guess she's against monogamy, did I hear that correctly?

[@andreatorluemke4982]

What purpose and destiny on your life Esther!

[@sussannekeith5676]

Grass is not always greener … sometimes it can be full of pests…..

[@nathanielgray4235]

Great stuff

[@quynhvu2381]

I am going on adventures with my current boyfriend. We will have fun together. I am not committed to him as a caretaker of his family and he is not going to be my daughter’s step father. We are in the relationship just for ourselves. We don’t live together yet so we have a lot of independent time to grow. I value “me” time

[@reyoart1766]

You waste each other time. Free one each other

[@quynhvu2381]

I have grown so much as a single mom being there for my kid. I don’t believe in step families or blended families. I feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is irrelevant to her. As long as I am happy I choose to be in the relationship and if it’s not happy relationship, I can leave and that will not affect my kids he can do the same thing. I did big memorable trips with my kid without him. He is like a security place for me to do more for myself and to be the best version of myself. I travel with him and go on adventures with him separately and build memories for ourselves

[@reyoart1766]

@@quynhvu2381 It appears to me that you do not know the meaning of "grow". Soon as we have a child we HAVE to secure an emotional safe environment for our children. You just CUT the father figure from your child life and you think is good for NOT committing. How old are you? Happy sane relationships are based on emotional connections, strong values and true feelings, love etc. There is no more YOU, adventures as you put it. I hope that beautiful soul, your child to learn when the time will come the real commitment between women and men. You are NOT a good example for your child and your behavior will expose him to suffering. May God bless your child path and lead him to a good life.

[@quynhvu2381]

The beauty of it is she has a great relationship with her biological dad. I encourage that relationship. My dating fun life is icing on the cake just for me. My kid is a secure individual A plus student and happy outgoing. I think it is because of the secure environment that she has growing up with the constant presence of her mother. She doesn’t move back and forth between 2 households like most kids after the parents divorce.

[@reyoart1766]

@@quynhvu2381 you refuse to see the reality. You have your eyes wide shut

[@TheAhhleena]

Lawyer minds 💯

[@dsabey2274]

It depends on what you consider growth

[@kingaberlakovich5585]

What if I am generally not attracted to my husband. He is like a good friend.

[@11wittykitties]

Try harder

[@11wittykitties]

Fall INLOVE again

[@11wittykitties]

Doing something new

[@11wittykitties]

Keep trying DONT give up, Pray on it

[@justingross]

You have the bedrock of a great relationship.

[@JillCox-mm9un]

Self development used to come through self sanctification.

[@margaritajohns7907]

People get married for reasons and they need to fight and work for this reasons. Life is not generally easy so it makes us grow more successful when we are in it not looking for a greener grass that does not belong to us. Yea I am a naturally internal monogamist. We can become a new version of our selfs together and grow as Family ❤🎉

[@ND-or5so]

Of course, I've tried to bring that home but not for the sex but to get out of the boredom. Anyway, I was the only one putting into the relationship. It is exhausting. Why would we need a video telling us this? Who is stupid enough not to think of things? My passive-aggressive covert narcissistic husband whom I am recently separated from, that's who.

[@KellyAlbright-tg9kz]

Happy to come back to one of the OG's of the modern podcast format. Jordan always brings logic and objectivity and looks at things like motivation, behavior, data and not new age occult "law of attr*ction" bah-loney like most of the others do these days.

[@kimberley1235]

What are the 11 signs?

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Exactly. Giving the benefit of the doubt.

[@soulpathwellness9698]

I love Esther!!

[@kathrynbencriscutto507]

This is so d*** ridiculous. It is so stupid. There is no love like the internet. Love of a couple that have been faithful to each other for 50 years. And there's value in that and it's a greatest value. Because you're growing together, it doesn't stop you from growing. Each individual has their individual parts that offer. Kindness interesting thoughts. They're on thoughts and sharing their humanity together. 2 people becoming one. There's nothing greater to a real woman that has value than a man who values her. I don't think I don't think there's anything greater. And it really has a lot to do with. Your customs and you're choice to experiment and your values. But if you're grounded in the true values of love and kindness in a marriage, there's nothing like it. I'm really tired of having other values forced upon me because. At 18 years old, I was the other woman and it hurt me and destroyed me and it destroyed my whole life. And I didn't have the first idea of how bad it would hurt but it was cheating on me too when he went back to his wife so I don't, I don't appreciate this. I don't know who you think you are to be so smart that you're smarter than God who created us this way. It's difficult 200 stand that you just trying to look important and smart. But I can see right through this conversation. Or when I have anything to do with it.

[@lesliewelch2890]

Ok this is all excellent, but can we just address the fact that she suggested mashed potatoes are -not- the good food? 😂

[@wardeggerrobertmarius144]

No butterflys?! Butterflys?!That's got nothing to do with love. That's tril seeking, like wanting to spend your life on a roller coaster.😂🤷

[@kristinestep6507]

❤ Amazing as always ❤️

[@robinpiccard886]

Fo men often act irratible and angry when they are acting out

[@riverrock335]

I feel like I am listening to your own therapy session.

[@jessica11381]

24:44 26:56 30:40 36:36 40:38 57:37

[@tomkarnes69]

She was 38, never married, hanging with friends and co-workers the night we met, I was a little older, with zero entanglements. Thirteen years on, she is still living at home (her mortgage co-signed with parents) 95% social calendar full, nucular family first, friends network second, my place was dead last, which I was accepting. But, I'm not a monk sitting on a hot rock in the lotus position waiting my turn, giving me some free time to chit chat with other girls. My read of the situation is she wanted back to her "Safe Place" with her nuclear family, a toxic cancel culture including defriending inlaws on Facebook, purging my phone number, and when she didn't respond to the 24/7 family text stream for a two hour period, sent an email asking me if I knew her whereabouts Lol... took the high road and answered politely. Some people will never grow up and leave home.

[@roses6564]

Nucular? Satire or serious? :)

[@ginam.4990]

I think people, not all, will believe this cheating explanation of hers, the ones that are afraid. I do not believe you can get back to where you were before the cheating in terms of trust.