Alimony for a woman who cheated and lied to you for years? The judge who decides that deserves jail time.
@ThePooppantsman2 жыл бұрын
Welcome to family court
@charlesg79262 жыл бұрын
Idk how judges who grant outcomes like that don’t wind up murdered. Do they have 24-7 protective detail at home? I’m asking a serious question. Didn’t happen to me, so not making a threat but if I was a judge, I’d be AFRAID to give such outlandishly unjust rulings
@ThePooppantsman2 жыл бұрын
@@charlesg7926 its because most men are not evil just make bad choices.
@jrwntctv80912 жыл бұрын
@@charlesg7926 Probably was afraid of HER?
@kittyearsheadbands88102 жыл бұрын
@@charlesg7926 tell your senator to pass better laws the judge enforces the law they can’t make up the law
@s1234pro2 жыл бұрын
Talk to a lawyer! Talk to a lawyer! Talk to a lawyer!
@joyceboisvert91679 ай бұрын
You invest so much time and money into this if you feel like you are no getting ahead in life and the toxic continue you are doing more harm than good divorces are messy but you are in a situation where it too burden and there no way out you need to break free from this or she going to continue pull the wool over your eyes I say get divorce and pick up the pieces start fresh don’t let anyone stand In your way and as far as your so call daughter let her be your daughter since you already invest into your so call daughter be part of your daughter life but not the wife you don’t need the wife she treating you like an atm machine that not a marriage I been married twice a widow twice and we always help one another everything we share was together when you are married husband and wife are combined into one unity but if your given more than your share and she take and not given that not a marriage go after your happiness pick up the pieces and leave especially if you are not getting a head
@cathy78242 жыл бұрын
He doesn't realize he'd be happier without her. Keep you relationship with the daughter, this isn't her fault.
@randomutubr2222 жыл бұрын
I completely agree. I anticipate a lot of comments on this video disagreeing.... but come on. You'd have to have a heart as cold as ice to end the relationship with the child you've raised for all of those years. It's not her fault. The wife on the other hand... divorce papers would already be on her desk.
@orphanedhanyou2 жыл бұрын
@@randomutubr222 hope they can have an honest conversation that yeah things are going to change but what's important won't, that all their experiences and love can continue
@Sheryl7772 жыл бұрын
@@randomutubr222 Narcissists wouldn't have a problem dumping the child too, since they only think about what's good for their own selves, and could care less about others (even children). So I agree with you about people who are like that having a heart as cold as ice.
@xiaoboliu43772 жыл бұрын
Not the daughter, that is a girl he helped raising
@cleanairninja92562 жыл бұрын
By raising the girl since birth, she really "is" his daughter. Blood ties aren't everything.
@robertblaney50332 жыл бұрын
Chris Rock said it best….. “ Do you know why divorce is so expensive ? …… BECAUSE ITS WORTH IT !!!!!! “
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I'm a female that gave up a LOT OF $$$ to get free of a POS. It can happen both ways.
@MrDedvalson2 жыл бұрын
Lol
@formula112967 Жыл бұрын
Do you know what I would tell Chris Rock? it is cheaper if you don't marry them in the 1st place! ya can't lose to these man-hating laws if you don't play their game.
@brendaleverick365510 ай бұрын
Truth! 😄
@TimesUp88886 ай бұрын
@@limpingoatfarmSame! I walked away with a Big L financially in exchange for peace. (No kids)
@AO-nr7kl2 жыл бұрын
Update life insurance and retirement accounts today that they do not go to your wife in the event you die. She should not prosper or benefit and a divorce will take time.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
some company pensions require you to name a beneficiary with the caveat it cannot be changed UNLESS there is a divorce and that is part of the settlement.
@kareng60499 ай бұрын
My best friend informed me that unless I changed the beneficiary after the divorce was final, in the case of my unexpected death, my ex husband of 30 yrs would get everything in the sense of pension, life ins, etc. In Calif the ex gets the money unless it's changed. I provided documentation and had that info changed within a few months of my divorce being final.
@crystalhowison61502 жыл бұрын
When Dr. D said "Every home is built with a door on it", it really struck me. He's exactly right. If you try to help someone and they reject it, walk out the door.
@clwhite11272 жыл бұрын
Or they can go. YOU don’t necessarily have to go anywhere.
@allthingsnu46732 жыл бұрын
I was thinking that the other person should leave, not the one who is paying for everything and getting treated badly.
@caroletta4512 жыл бұрын
I think he meant the guy needs to walk out the door and leave his wife!
@raebean60182 жыл бұрын
I love it. I'm going to use that!
@timothygibney1592 жыл бұрын
@@caroletta451 No she can leave and be homeless. She cheated and refused to get a job while he earned that house
@Ryan_DeWitt2 жыл бұрын
No brother, don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy. Cut ties and pay the alimony if you must, but leave. It certainly won't be "cheaper" on your mental health to stay.
@340rps2 жыл бұрын
Who says she may even get alimoney. After what she pulled. And if she did. She may not be around to to collect it.
@markwhittaker68662 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@ralphdrees44132 жыл бұрын
@@340rps sadly she probably will be getting some spousal support.
@overdose83292 жыл бұрын
@@340rps it's commiefornia
@bovinebeautymoo28842 жыл бұрын
THIS is what playing “Victim” gets you!! 30 YEARS in a Marriage, ZERO Money and a Child that ISNT YOURS!!
@walternicolas69272 жыл бұрын
Hi Bovine how're you doing today and how's the weather over there today. Where're you from
@jaebeablessings10052 жыл бұрын
On top of that he has to pay alimony 🤨
@bovinebeautymoo28842 жыл бұрын
@@walternicolas6927 Im from C U next Tuesday!!
@walternicolas69272 жыл бұрын
@@bovinebeautymoo2884 takes long to hear from you Bovine .. I reside here in Cleveland.. how's the weather in Canada
@benden50952 жыл бұрын
If that's not reason to stay single I don't know what is.
@TheRealMEEDABEE2 жыл бұрын
Dave may never recommend divorce, but I will - get out while you still can
@LaniakeaLeathercrafts2 жыл бұрын
Dave has recommended divorce when it comes to infidelity
@gatewaysolo1042 жыл бұрын
@@LaniakeaLeathercrafts that's one of the few biblical reasons for divorce.
@larissa17702 жыл бұрын
From a Biblical perspective divorce is a yes if indefinitely is involved and u don’t want to work things out. I’ve known a leader at church that cheated but him and wife now live happily because there was a change of heart/behavior. Totally depends on the situation.
@trotter76792 жыл бұрын
Or just separate
@karenshea78772 жыл бұрын
Why would he pay alimony. She has a job. Document that she has not contributed to household expenses. Document the girl isn't his. Document her gambling habit.
@blackworldtraveler37112 жыл бұрын
That's how it works and the reason I'm not married.
@duanejackson67182 жыл бұрын
That's the world of no fault divorce. She can do whatever she wants and it won't be considered, if his income is higher he will likely have to pay her alimony, if the child is under age, but still not his, he can still get saddled with child support because he's established a parental relationship. It's a disgusting system but that's how they do it now.
@jimklemens50182 жыл бұрын
None of that documentation means anything to the court. If the man makes more money, he will pay alimony.
@chrispark70102 жыл бұрын
It's called no fault divorces. This legal system is rigged and a joke
@catholicfaithofmine26642 жыл бұрын
That's what I was thinking!
@bee123552 жыл бұрын
Divorce her and run. She’s cheated, she’s stealing from you. She lied. Get out and run
@ceciliapetrowsky25722 жыл бұрын
I am speechless. How do you let this behavior go on for 30 years? Not contributing to the household expenses for THIRTY YEARS so she can gamble all hers away? OMG! What a train wreck. Get out now!
@NickPShow2 жыл бұрын
Of course finding a way to blame the guy for this situation.
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
@@NickPShow Well he has contributed the most to his own situation by not enforcing proper boundaries. Even between husband and wife there are boundaries that if crossed are automatic deal breakers and should result in the end of the marriage. So yes, the fact that he is still there after 30 years of this is his fault.
@chriswest76392 жыл бұрын
She's gambling his money. She's keeping hers.
@NickPShow2 жыл бұрын
@@gjohannes1344 So even though the wife is gambling his money, it's his fault?? Really??
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
@@NickPShow Yes, it's his money and he needs to take the necessary steps to curtail what his wife is doing with the money his earns. Instead he just let it happen.
@Heisrisin36 ай бұрын
Update your retirement account, empty the bank account immediately, and open a separate account in your name only. Move out and file for divorce before she has time to do anything else.
@MrHomer19952 жыл бұрын
"Every home is built with a door on it" Love this, very true.
@JonnyZye2 жыл бұрын
Jesus what a mess. Lawyer up and divorce ASAP for the sake of your mental health at the very least!
@user-nh4tm6hh4j2 жыл бұрын
Wait, wait, wait. Forget all the rest. She had you raise someone else's child and let you think you had a child FOR THIRTY YEARS. She would be lucky I wouldn't kill her. RUN as fast as you can. The idea that you are even asking these questions is obsurd.
@AdmiringObserverR2 жыл бұрын
did he only find out just recently about the DNA?
@Naturefan3542 жыл бұрын
@@AdmiringObserverR Yes
@markwhittaker68662 жыл бұрын
I agree with 100%.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, this guy needs to see someone because to not be seething at this point is dangerous. He is way too detached.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
@@happydogg312 concern for maybe HIS kids? Wonder if he had DNA done on the others, I would. Some people might think it better to not do it, but I think there would always be a nagging doubt. Better to clear things up then proceed in a manner you are all comfortable with if it turns out there was more than that ONE deception.
@uncommonsense58762 жыл бұрын
Alimony would be CHEAPER than her "hobby". The husband is enabling the wife's behavior. He needs to file for divorce, this is abuse not marriage.
@cutehumor2 жыл бұрын
He should not pay any child support for a kid not his.
@drk2212 жыл бұрын
The kid is an adult. Thats not even in a question
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
Good luck with that. In the US the only thing the state considers is if the kid ever saw you as a parental figure. That's it. There are a lot of cases going on where men are fighting to not pay child support on kids that aren't theirs. Which is why I tell guys to never date single mothers.
@thefoodwench48482 жыл бұрын
Why has he not removed her access to all of the money yet? That seems like an obvious solution until he decides what to do in the long run. I’d be getting an attorney and filing legal separation in the meanwhile to protect the assets so she can’t do any further damage. And I agree with them that he’s equally to blame for allowing this for so long. We deserve what we allow.
@nodsib2 жыл бұрын
They probably have separate accounts, so she has access to her checks coming in, but not the rest
@rayjgold2 жыл бұрын
Yes, Sounds like she is using her own money that she works for, for the gambling.
@jaebeablessings10052 жыл бұрын
She's using her money to gamble.
@thefoodwench48482 жыл бұрын
@@jaebeablessings1005 well maybe but when you’re married it’s marital money.
@jill96062 жыл бұрын
I agree with a lot of your comments!
@heyheyhe00112 жыл бұрын
Thank you sharing the horror story with the fellow men.
@mirabella21542 жыл бұрын
🤣
@leatharay35652 жыл бұрын
WOW so appreciate my husband
@Naturefan3542 жыл бұрын
That women sounds absolutely disgusting 🤮 That poor man! People like that shouldn’t be allowed to get married
@formula112967 Жыл бұрын
@@Naturefan354 the problem with marriage and divorce laws, are that they are not fair at all.....there are bad men and bad women in marriages, but only the men are punished, and that includes the good men that have bad wives.....only the men pay.
@dcambitionz20542 жыл бұрын
If the roles were reversed they would be like, im so sorry hun…
@gainesdominique2 жыл бұрын
Hahaha 100% hun
@snOags2 жыл бұрын
Yep!!!
@chada752 жыл бұрын
Truth!
@michaelb.89532 жыл бұрын
You're so right. In a way Dave treats woman like little children if you think about it.
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
@@michaelb.8953 Dave is a product of his time and is too old to change.
@Ewalk.213 Жыл бұрын
It never fails that when it comes to a marriage issue Delony HAS to find a way lay blame on the husband even when he is the victim. If we flipped the genders here the level of compassion they would show for the “poor wife” would be incredible
@ydoucare5510 ай бұрын
I agree. Honestly, he is not very good at his job. He often just vomits word salads that don't mean anything and never really gets to the point, and always sides with the woman.
@_Y.Not_10 ай бұрын
The fact that you think the husband is the "victim" in this is laughable, and yes, if the genders were reversed I and most people would say the same.
@jeffnunes97802 жыл бұрын
Infidelity has no bearing on divorce settlements in the eyes of many or most states. There is no penalty for deceit or adultery. It’s a sad sign of a declining and immoral society.
@jeannet74432 жыл бұрын
Yes, that ended with no fault divorce.
@formula112967 Жыл бұрын
The man cheats, he pays......the woman cheats, he pays.....that is the foundation of divorce court.
@LoriFoster2 жыл бұрын
She's a Keeper! meaning... Keeper outside away from you!
@thetruth56352 жыл бұрын
Dr John and Dave such a dynamic dual
@jgoincomedy58372 жыл бұрын
*Duo
@AK-pz7om2 жыл бұрын
@@TheAck201 😂😂😂😂
@edb4842 жыл бұрын
He should of divorced when he found out the kid wasn’t his. Talk about drama lol
@jeorgedavid32392 жыл бұрын
Exactly 💯
@Random-yq1wu2 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@barbieblue33362 жыл бұрын
Have not of
@alinatamashevich33542 жыл бұрын
BINGO
@lindaennis28542 жыл бұрын
What about the poor kid
@PitlaWorld2 жыл бұрын
I feel really sorry for you brother. Good luck.
@rjii32642 жыл бұрын
This is what that “happy wife happy life” attitude gets you.
@tiffanyhoward99352 жыл бұрын
No way! That’s a sick wife and an enabling husband! That’s quite different than a “happy wife”. I’m a “happy wife” but I’m accountable to my husband as well.
@bigteeist2 жыл бұрын
👍🏾😁
@ANAMINISTRY2 жыл бұрын
No sir, that’s what a Jezebel gets you
@sobeliever16382 жыл бұрын
Not what the saying was referring to at all
@katemiller78742 жыл бұрын
No it actually gets you a happy wife. Happy wife here. No gambling problem tho
@bigdave59462 жыл бұрын
Rip the bandaid off John and get yourself a good lawyer. Living the this way for the rest of your life is misery. Choice a new path .I have a friend who’s lived a similar life I’ve never understood why he didn’t leave her .
@lovyng2 жыл бұрын
He choose to settle
@mylegacytransformed2 жыл бұрын
Although I disagree with the statement, some say: “it’s better to deal with the devil you know rather than dealing with the devil you don’t know.” It’s excruciatingly sad, & what’s worse is: there are SEVERAL marriages continuing in which one spouse chooses to settle and remain “stuck”,
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
I have a brother who is living this way. Mans a miserable husk of what he used to be.
@jameslastname91712 жыл бұрын
John is in California. Spousal support is NOT forever. There is an expectation that each person becomes self sufficient after a set amount of years.
@fotismichael18772 жыл бұрын
Dr. D & Dave should call a spade a spade. They are absolutely suggesting divorce here, and they're right to do so.
@adamreynolds26322 жыл бұрын
She'd be gone if it were me.
@paralyzdtheory2 жыл бұрын
I dont understand how this guy can handle being treated like that. Im stoic, but i would completely fricken lose it
@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo93032 жыл бұрын
Because when the law is not on your side, you want to cut your losses. Getting a divorce means he is LEGALLY allowed to hand out his money so she can spend it. So all this lie would turn into is what?
@JBrown-go8ru2 жыл бұрын
He's also mentally drained because of being in an abusive relationship. He now has no self esteem. He's broken. So he's just been dealing with. It happens in abusive relationships. He can't even see that "exit door" that was mentioned in the video.
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 What most men fail to understand is that freedom is a reward you simply cannot quantify in dollars. Men never calculate that when saying that it is cheaper to keep her. No, what are you doing to your mental state by keeping her? Where do you calculate for that?
@otrebla89442 жыл бұрын
DNA tests to confirm paternity should be mandated by law. No man should sign a birth certificate until it is confirmed, by a DNA test, that said man is the father. Get a divorce. No counseling.
@taracabezud51462 жыл бұрын
I completely agree with this. They take blood from the baby already why not run dna.
@ajoyforlife12 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, the court might still make him pay child support if the child is still of tender age. Way too many men being forced to pay child support for other men children. Because they are married.
@otrebla89442 жыл бұрын
@@ajoyforlife1 even if the court forces you to pay, you can still hire a good attorney and try to fight child support. With that said, once DNA testing becomes law of the land, men should not be liable for child support if the results prove that a man is not the actual biological father. Also, once you find out that you are not the father, you need not waste anymore of your time in that child's presence. The real father should care for his offspring(s).
@Blaiyan2 жыл бұрын
Definitely agree with the dna test
@Sheryl7772 жыл бұрын
@@otrebla8944 Yeah just cut the child off from any relationship (who all along thought they knew who their father was). How cruel can some people be to make the child suffer like that....yikes! Some of you people are downright scary lol.
@vladj59572 жыл бұрын
“She belongs to the streets” - Future
@traceyreed91672 жыл бұрын
Is he still liable to “keep” her when she has two actual reasons, infidelity and addiction, to NOT have to pay out alimony. Lawyer up, find the meanest one out there, build up the stack of proof against her and DIVORCE!
@jenniferwang34892 жыл бұрын
OMG, my marriage changed so much when we started talking about finances. Marriage is a partnership, with both giving. It seems like she's taking and taking with no giving. There is no reason she should be not contributing to the home. She may need to be cut off from stuff financially, like she needs to manage herself on an allowance.
@craigcarter4002 жыл бұрын
Living at best mildly happy in a marriage isn’t as good as living to the fullest outside of a marriage.
@Thatgalsasha2 жыл бұрын
So well said’
@lesterparker15942 жыл бұрын
And living to the fullest outside of a marriage isn’t as good as living extremely happy in a marriage
@jdtreharne2 жыл бұрын
FACT
@danielabebe68692 жыл бұрын
@@lesterparker1594 could you draw me a map to this magical land of rainbows and unicorns?
@chartuck2 жыл бұрын
@@lesterparker1594 siiiiiiiimp
@CharlotteG7542 жыл бұрын
I see this often - people allow their loved ones to go down-spiral, reinforcing their bad choices. Tough love seems to be a taboo. You have to have conversations, boundaries and rules in your relationships. Rules that will protect everyone in your family. It’s far worse to look back and realize you were a coward when you should have taken action.
@bessiebreedlove48882 жыл бұрын
Whimp!
@WolverineIncognito2 жыл бұрын
There is no “tough love”, that’s just love.
@formula112967 Жыл бұрын
You are calling him a coward? but if were the husband that was doing all this, and had a child out of the marriage, you would call his wife a victim no doubt. the double standards are amazing!
@elisahamilton732 жыл бұрын
Don't need a wife, learn to be happy by yourself.
@diplomatdiplomat28002 жыл бұрын
You don't? But I still love you 😍❤️
@katemiller78742 жыл бұрын
It’s better with a great companion.
@GAPeach5810 ай бұрын
@@katemiller7874a great one yes...but not all are great after you marry & show their true colors.
@Kai...9992 жыл бұрын
Situations like this makes me so scared of marriage, with a bit of bad relationships. It’s like man at some point you realize people abuse trust and take a lie to the grave. And smile to your face every day at the same time. It’s honestly depressing.
@d_all_in2 жыл бұрын
I hope you realize this is extremely unusual and was enabled by the "victim".
@wrongwayeric2 жыл бұрын
I would agree that thirty years is unusual.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
tales like this are COMMON today, it is a different world, I am a sad remnant of a world where LOVE and compatibility, joint responsibility for a relationship and EVERYTHING was considered joint property of the marriage going in. Things CHANGED DRASTICALLY when the career single females known as TROPHY WIVES set out to find a mate and decided that the men they wanted because they were successful were already married.THAT is when divorce laws changed. Now those same 'Trophy Wives' need more changes to change the laws back to alimony... You have every right to be VERY AFRAID of marriage. It seems people have lost touch with a part of what separates humans from animals, CONSCIENCE has been adjudicated away. That cancels common sense and morality.
@csx6910 Жыл бұрын
You don't have to marry. Be amazing and if a woman isn't willing to be with you without marriage, it shows that everything she claimed she was with you for is a lie. Then go be amazing with someone else. AND paternity test for any child born immediately after birth.
@garyjanzig85002 жыл бұрын
For a happy, healthy life, do not let anyone into your life who can't govern their vices, gambling, drinking, smoking, drugs etc. It is just a matter of time before they ruin your life and everyone around them. I have seen it happen many times over the years.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
Best clue is if you are still in the early stage of dating, if that other person takes food from your plate while out to dinner '86' them, they think they own you and even your food.
@jill96062 жыл бұрын
These behaviors are repeated over decades and are absolutely unacceptable. He deserves so much better. What about your happiness, John? What about you deserving to love and be loved by someone who would treat you like a prize and never do you wrong??
@terrancemoore20352 жыл бұрын
I was in his position 35 years ago. I just wasn't dealing with the gambling problem. Flush the toilet, get up and move on. The world is filled with pure evil and evil prey's on the good hearted.
@SerErryk2 жыл бұрын
Being spineless doesn't make one a good person.
@alisayoung2 жыл бұрын
Very true. Sadly
@factsondeck15522 жыл бұрын
This is why you don’t share finances
@kathurtado132 жыл бұрын
When Poppa Ramsey said "hobby", I died 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
@alicel39922 жыл бұрын
An uncle in my husband's family married and shortly after she dropped $5000 gambling. He went to an attorney and everything was taken out of her name including utilities. He paid everything and she gets a small monthly allowance.
@Devin1993x2 жыл бұрын
They always find a way to turn it on the man involved in a situation like this and put blame on him, it’s crazy.
@snOags2 жыл бұрын
If a woman wrote in with this scenario they would be calling the guy names and convincing her he emotionally and psychologically abused her
@ne98352 жыл бұрын
I mean men are always blame for everything, we should get used to it by now.
@ChromeXuGames2 жыл бұрын
Honestly this level of gaslighting has been unseen from Dave before
@NamasteInYourLane2 жыл бұрын
Aren't men always talking about how they're the leaders and the "superior beings"? 🙄 If you're such a leader and so superior, you should not be allowing scenarios like this to play out for THREE DECADES! How are you the leader of the household but allowing your wife to use you like toilet paper?
@dialac12 жыл бұрын
Yep. Always.
@winchesterhollow28992 жыл бұрын
Even when the man is the victim they still blame him anyway. If this was a wife writing about her husband they’d be fawning all over her.
@theglassarrow_2 жыл бұрын
at some point he liked her. The sad truth is some women want to pretend their young and do childish things and socially get away with it. Why would she care if she cheated and still keep half his networth while working very little?
@blackworldtraveler37112 жыл бұрын
@@theglassarrow_ Heck i like a lot of woman but doesn't mean marriage and having their kids. .
@hugogarcia5532 жыл бұрын
If the genders were flipped, they would have told the wife to leave the marriage. This is a perfect example of how men hold each other accountable, but you don't see this trait in women. Men have to be the leaders in the home. If you are not leading, you will be led into these types of situations. Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. You need to hold your wife accountable.
@orphanedhanyou2 жыл бұрын
@@hugogarcia553 did they not say leave? I think they at least heavily implied it, but a guy that was that complacent for decades and didn't file the second he found out their kid wasn't even his, but instead suggests staying with her to "safe money" isn't going to listen. He clearly avoids confrontation.
@handleyobusiness2 жыл бұрын
Dave the Simplord strikes again.
@anthonyharris68812 жыл бұрын
Why are men blamed for everything? If it was the other way around these hypocrites would be telling the wife to divorce him. Double standards
@Sheryl7772 жыл бұрын
Not sure what hypocrites you're talking about since Dave and John both pretty much told the guy that unless he's willing to live that way for the rest of his life, he should probably get a divorce.
@sethkostur67852 жыл бұрын
You are absolutely right and that’s why I had to quit listening to him he gives horrible advice when it comes to relationships he’s not a counselor he’s a financial advisor and if you don’t do things his way you’re stupid.
@susanharrah34629 ай бұрын
Well from what I'm seeing there blaming both and the're correct. The guy should have taken care of gambling wife along time ago.
@oatmealtruck78112 жыл бұрын
Thank you, God, for my husband and my marriage! Thank you for a beautiful baby boy plus one on the way that are HIS, and thank you for a partner with whom I have mutual love and respect. Thank you for keeping us far from idiotic self-inflicted addictions such as gambling. Please Lord, send miracles to this man’s situation and to any that are in need of your intervention! Amen!
@Nokss_202 жыл бұрын
You could have just prayed and left it at that 😏😏
@ricana11602 жыл бұрын
@@Nokss_20 ikr. Sound like showing off😕
@warriormanmaxx89912 жыл бұрын
@Oatmeal Truck - Had NO IDEA ... God was into reading prayers via KZbin Comment section !!
@oatmealtruck78112 жыл бұрын
Bizarre that typing out my prayer would bother anyone, that it would be seen as “showing off”(huh?), or that anyone would think that God has a preference for the way I pray or how public it is or isn’t.
@thelourensfamily80482 жыл бұрын
@@oatmealtruck7811 there's actually a verse in the Bible where it says it's better to lock yourself in a cupboard and pray than to proclaim it loudly in the streets.
@FrankS1112 жыл бұрын
So…his wife has a gambling problem and hid the fact their daughter wasn’t his….and they were coming down…on…the…guy….? 🤔
@BeerWagoon2 жыл бұрын
This is the Ramsay Show. Of course they are.
@Billman86862 жыл бұрын
Men in general react better to harsh criticism. They are trying to wake him up to the problem so he doesn't get pulled through the mud by this women.
@orphanedhanyou2 жыл бұрын
When his proposed solution is to just stay because he thinks it's cheaper? Eventually grown adults have to own up to the fact you let others abuse you, in this case abuse your money, your emotions, your trust. After the first few lies you decide to keep believing them or to ignore things that hurt you and accept the consequences.
@ahmedalhosani88484 ай бұрын
When u act like a bitch for 30 years, guess what !! She will treat u like a bitch
@yesseniaescobarable2 жыл бұрын
7:14 😂😂😂😂 no lie I got rid of 35k debt back when I was 21 yrs old AND my twenties weren’t taken from me! Best thing that happen to me. (He committed adultery while I was the bread winner working hard - emptied our bank account while I was on a flight) now he suffers from epilepsy and is going blind in one eye 😳oh btw the other woman cheated on him 🤪 when I say I’m a happy woman, I mean it!
@danielbush68822 жыл бұрын
How'd you get rid of that massive debt so soon?
@alisayoung2 жыл бұрын
May God bless you
@Mactakun2 жыл бұрын
Rice and beans, beans and rice.
@limpingoatfarm2 жыл бұрын
yeah, funny thing KARMA... my ex died young, an accident that I suspect WASN'T, the sad part? Nobody even pushed for a police investigation because they thought the insurance wouldn't pay... and oh, I must mention he suffered with mental and physical problems for a few years before his untimely death. I have had 20 years to ENJOY the old adage, "the best revenge on your enemies is outliving them". I agree.
@soni051312 жыл бұрын
"you've allowed it for 30 years" she loves her life. Own it up pop, get a divorce, or stay in the situation. Deal with it!!
@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem2 жыл бұрын
i would be so infuriated caring for a child my whole life that i thought was biologically mine and i find out its not because the wife cheated on me... that is the biggest slap in the face. that being said i understand loving an adopted kid, but this is different. when you adopt a kid you know from the start its not biologically your kid.
@larissa17702 жыл бұрын
Yup this is way different than an adopted kid. To love & nurture a child has nothing to do with blood related. If the wife was honest, it could’ve gone two ways….divorce or continues to love his wife and takes in the child as his own. I’ve known many couples who end up caring for a child that wasn’t their blood. In my opinion it seems like she doesn’t necessarily love him but using him for her own benefits
@jimroscovius2 жыл бұрын
Don't dump the child. None of this is her fault. Dump the wife though.
@Ryan_DeWitt2 жыл бұрын
Dump the kid and the wife. Yes I said it. The kid is not yours and not your responsibility.
@Sheryl7772 жыл бұрын
@@Ryan_DeWitt Regardless of what kind of mental and emotional damage it will end up causing the child. Yeah you're real swift there. Only a narcissist thinks doing as you suggested is a good idea.
@randomutubr2222 жыл бұрын
I think you people are sick in the head to say “dump the kid”. None of this is her fault. In her mind, he is 100% her father. And she has always been 100% his daughter. I’m not saying this isn’t a gut punch. It obviously is. But you’d have to have a heart as cold as ice to end your relationship with a child that you’ve loved and raised for over 30 years. And we keep saying “kid”, but she’s 30… she’s an adult. She isn’t his responsibility any further than he wants her to be. We aren’t talking about a baby here. Dump the wife of course. But it’s not the daughters fault man… If I raised a daughter for 30 years only to find out she wasn’t biologically mine, I would talk to her about it. But there’s no way I could just throw them to the wayside. If the kid was literally just born and I learned it wasn’t mine? Of course I’d dump them both. But this is a bit different…
@Originalman1442 жыл бұрын
This is a ridiculous situation. This is a question for more than one therapist, not the Ramsey Show. Both of the people in that relationship are not well.
@angelaonthego2 жыл бұрын
@Unknown Comment he’s not fine. He’s been tolerating abuse for 30 years. And he’s calling in asking if he should spend the next 30 years doing the same because it’s cheaper than the alternative.
@peterteixeira28932 жыл бұрын
Getting my 🍿before reading these comments😁
@xsgtxbigboy165511 ай бұрын
Love how they blamed the dude for everything
@blackworldtraveler37112 жыл бұрын
If he continue to put up with her he might one day end up in a freezer while she continues to collect his benefits.
@elisadelrey11332 жыл бұрын
You better believe it! It happens in Florida too. I endured financial abuse from the ex-husband and at divorce he was awarded permanent alimony from me even though I am a poor teacher who supported him. He even enjoyed free health insurance. I understand John’s situation. Judges don’t have the awareness of these particulars in complicated relationships. Recently in Florida, Gov DeSantis VETOED SB1796- intended to do away with this type of private welfare. In the meantime, I have to keep paying permanent welfare to my EX.
@pgonzales2222 жыл бұрын
this is a good exercise for Ramsey to be on top of his game mentally. That is what John is to Ramsey.
@rleonekc072 жыл бұрын
time to divorce
@stephaniemanchester-chermo38402 жыл бұрын
There’s a simp born every minute.
@terriesmith26162 жыл бұрын
If the roles were reversed, Dave and John would be like, "I'm so sorry that happened to you. He needs to man up and go get a job and stop his gambling addiction". Dave and John's demeanors and responses would totally be different if that was a female writing in.
@snOags2 жыл бұрын
If i could give 50 thumbs up to this I would. I've heard women call in with resembling situations and they were coddling the female. Poor you, he is a loser, take the house and everything he owns.
@jimroscovius2 жыл бұрын
No, they wouldn't. I've heard them get tough on women.
@murderofcrows77382 жыл бұрын
Agreed. Dave would never shame a woman so freely.
@jimroscovius2 жыл бұрын
@@TheAck201 I have. I've heard them tell women they need to get a job, work from home, or something. You just don't follow the channel enough. He does believe the man is the head of the household, but he definitely has told women to get out and work, especially if in debt.
@Sheryl7772 жыл бұрын
Quit playing the "man is always the victim" game. They only told the man that he also played a part in letting his wife get away with her behavior for so many years, so needs to own up to that part which was his responsibility to leave way before 30 years had passed.
@walkietalkie19732 жыл бұрын
This type of relationship is like axing away at a tree with a dull blunt blade.
@CaseyBurnsInvesting2 жыл бұрын
Addiction isn’t a hobby
@chukah94842 жыл бұрын
Hear these stories often and I am impressed these stories don't immediately lead to homicide.
@HighwayLand2 жыл бұрын
I am 42 years old and single, always have been single, and most of the time I am grateful I'm single. I got myself a good life and a good career, heck next month I plan on taking a vacation out to Hawaii.
@michaelargenta38562 жыл бұрын
Why should he pay allamony when she was the one that cheated. Having a daughter thats not yours is more then just a sham....
@JBrown-go8ru2 жыл бұрын
You'd be surprised at the nonsense that gets decided in family court. He has every reason to be scared of alimony.
@michaelargenta38562 жыл бұрын
@@JBrown-go8ru i Thank God i'm single still at 40>? half my firiends are divorced ..
@timothygibney1592 жыл бұрын
Because he is a man. We are walking ATMs after all without feelings
@Nostradevus13 ай бұрын
Can thank no fault divorce for that.
@ginodirico2 жыл бұрын
“John” also needs to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr Rober Glover. I also agree that it would be better to make alimony payments which would have him pay for is freedom than making payments toward clearing debt that will never go away at this point. You can control only what you can control.
@ultimaetsolder2 жыл бұрын
Lol, blame the caller. 🤨
@tcgtpl2 жыл бұрын
@Tankkizzle Simpin' ain't easy.
@ganthc2 жыл бұрын
He was to blame. He got stepped on for three decades and did nothing. That marriage should have ended year one. She was allowed to live rent free, expense free, got free parenting for a child that wasn't his, and just got to work on her "hobby" for 30 years. Are you telling me you would have put up with that insane woman for even one year?
@msch38912 жыл бұрын
@@ganthc It happens. She was the one he wanted. 🍎 of his 👁. The prize.......full of lies and surprises.
@ultimaetsolder2 жыл бұрын
@@ganthc are you serious? What if the roles were reversed? Battered wife. It's her fault for staying. Maybe she liked getting beaten up. Could leave the family at any time. Hey, it's her fault.
@ganthc2 жыл бұрын
@@ultimaetsolder yes, responsibility does work in reverse. If a woman doesn’t flee the house, get a divorce, call the police, do something for 30 years, then yeah, you share some blame in your situation. Women have agency. It might be different if you were a helpless child with little agency. There are plenty of options besides keep taking abuse for 30 years and do nothing. If a wife knew her husband was molesting their child, but did nothing, is she responsible or share any blame for the child being molested? By your argument, no, she’s got no agency to do anything, no responsibility to get help or protect the child.
@ericeandco9 ай бұрын
30 years of lies and a kid that’s not yours. There’s no question. Time to get a really good lawyer and no more talking to the wife. Let the lawyers protect you.
@jeanlaubenthal6982 жыл бұрын
She may need to reimburse him for childcare all the years
@s1234pro2 жыл бұрын
He may legally be the child's father.
@JBrown-go8ru2 жыл бұрын
I agree. However, that would be a tough one to pull off.
@adrianplayer-propertyinvest2 жыл бұрын
It amazes me how much of a door mat i hear so many men calling in to get advice.
@gjohannes13442 жыл бұрын
Generations of men raised by single mothers leads to generations of weak men.
@Commanderson72 жыл бұрын
Something I felt for myself is I can keep waisting time being unhappy or I can get going I do everything and be everything I have ever wanted and stop waiting time.
@blackworldtraveler37112 жыл бұрын
That is the way. Life is too short.
@krazyd0nut4042 жыл бұрын
I’m doing it for the kids 10 years to go
@NWNKNP2 жыл бұрын
6:04 The wife is the problem! Why will the husband have to pay alimony? I don't understand this.
@NWNKNP2 жыл бұрын
@Unknown Comment no I don't but I'm willing to learn before I make this mistake in the future
@siddheshmirjankar9102 жыл бұрын
@@NWNKNP California has no fault divorce laws. It means irrespective of who caused the divorce, the judge will be unbiased and always ask the higher earner to pay alimony to the lower earner. Mostly women tend to date men who make more money than them. So in California, men have to almost always pay alimony. Marriage puts you in a position where a woman can marry you and divorce you the next day with the sole purpose of getting half of everything you own and there are no laws in Cali holding them accountable for that.
@daleviker58842 жыл бұрын
@ Drip Josh - read what Siddhesh Mirjanker said, it's a good summary. But it's not just California, it's any place with left wing governments. I live in Australia and this same nonsense applies here, too. It doesn't mean don't get married, but it does mean choose your partner carefully. Because if you marry a woman who is only after your money, then she wins, full stop.
@reallifelegend47812 жыл бұрын
Why is it always the guy who has to leave. She needs to get out!
@FR-tb7xh2 жыл бұрын
I think it’s like a “Yield” traffic sign. You can’t technically take the Right-of-Way but you can give one up. If the roles were reversed, where the woman wanted the divorce, SHE would be the one to have to move out, not him.
@Dtt42 жыл бұрын
Dont get married! As a man you've got everything to lose.
@chada752 жыл бұрын
If it F--ks, floats, or fly, It's best to rent than buy.
@lisabaltzer41902 жыл бұрын
My husband stuck around for 40 years until the day he died and we were very happy together. Some marriages work out very well.
@alexbecar9772 жыл бұрын
@@lisabaltzer4190 Some do most dont and a lot of men dont want to take that huge risk
@vchafab2 жыл бұрын
Just leave her even if you end up paying alimony. Don’t continue suffering the rest of your life. You deserve at least one happy day.
@richsanossian86752 жыл бұрын
Get rid of her yesterday. It’s never cheaper to keep them
@rmont85162 жыл бұрын
Sound like she threatens him all the time and makes him feel like it’s all his fault very selfish evil woman but I could be wrong
@ralfbo6852 жыл бұрын
Any man that falls for gaslighting is not/was not a strong man to begin with.
@dacianbonta28402 жыл бұрын
@@ralfbo685 that darn victim, he had it coming? what?
@ralfbo6852 жыл бұрын
@@dacianbonta2840 he was a victim when it first happened to him. The point where the blame turns on you is when you keep letting it happen to yourself. Would you say an addict is a victim? I would not.
@ralfbo6852 жыл бұрын
@Tankkizzle not even the same. Men are made to protect women. There is no circumstance where the woman is not a victim in a domestic abuse situation. Men and women should not be held to the same standard because they aren't the same.
@ralfbo6852 жыл бұрын
@@wordsalad01 Oh 100% it's awful what narcissists are capable of, I almost fell for one myself. That's why I have to train myself to stand up for myself. I'm not saying what this caller's wife did was acceptable by any means. I'm just saying letting himself get kicked around for 30 years is not acceptable either and we shouldn't glorify victimhood
@spot_of_tea532 жыл бұрын
Divorce now, or go through bankruptcy AND a divorce later.
@FiladelfiaStudios2 жыл бұрын
4:35 First time hearing Dave curse on his show “Whines and b*****s”
@MrHous262 жыл бұрын
Surprised noone else is saying something about it. I like this Dave.
@hectormorones87332 жыл бұрын
I noticed it also lol good thing I wasn’t the only one
@djg47812 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I had to play that back lol
@metacomputer2 жыл бұрын
Marriage counseling is worthless. Take the loss and rebuild.
@SSS-wo2hn2 жыл бұрын
I love how they BLAME the man (caller) who is expressing his situation which they are correct to do so. However the problem is that if it was a woman caller in a similar situation they would NOT blame HER🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
@formula112967 Жыл бұрын
yup....the woman is ALAYS the victim no matter the situation.
@latulip100 Жыл бұрын
Really? You aren’t in women’s groups are you? We yell too at women that put up with terrible behaviour because ohh they are scared of being single. Yeah sure it’s lonely at times but the rest of the time it’s liberating and peaceful.
@calebmallen2 жыл бұрын
One thing that Dave and Dr. John (living in Tennessee) don't realize, he's getting divorced in California - he's toast if he gets divorced!
@lisabaltzer41902 жыл бұрын
Everything about California is a mess. My husband and I sold our business and left California in 2003. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.
@AlexanderPerez-bd7bk2 жыл бұрын
As a man thinks so he is. Take personal ownership, I love it.
@boston3122 жыл бұрын
he has 30 years left? He will be lucky to make it to 70 with all the stress he has accumulated in this worthless marriage
@chiday49472 жыл бұрын
Live the Free Agent lifestyle
@nkyryry2 жыл бұрын
What a betrayal.
@esonon52102 жыл бұрын
They were way too harsh on him but I do agree he should have called out her behavior a long time ago.
@rogerhoward19002 жыл бұрын
Like I said just stay single no problems like this I wouldn't get married in this day and age I was married and I was miserable
@AFPride07642 жыл бұрын
"This is a country song" lol
@SledgeHammer992 жыл бұрын
Dave still gonna take the woman’s side lol
@alp.96722 жыл бұрын
Dave is a Christian beta male
@krazyd0nut4042 жыл бұрын
He already did.
@ganthc2 жыл бұрын
Did I see a different video? Both of them said the woman was messed up, lazy, and awful. Regardless of how messed up she was, John was allowing it to happen for 30 years. He could have been out of this mess decades ago, and he just let it happen to him. So yeah, he takes blame. But they didn't "side with the woman."
@krazyd0nut4042 жыл бұрын
@@ganthc I seen plenty of Dave’s video. If this was a women calling on the same issue. He be like “run” , “he’s a loser” & “god bless you staying for as long as you could” “your a wonderful person”. It’s a double standard that men gets in a relationship.
@ganthc2 жыл бұрын
@@krazyd0nut404 they essentially told John the same thing. They even ended on a divorce joke. Without saying to divorce her, they basically were saying he should divorce her. But part of the lessons learned was for John to take responsibility for allowing himself to be pooped on for 30 years. No mentally healthy person puts up with that nonsense for 30 years. John didn’t need coddling. He needed a kick in the pants to finally do something.
@Christine-7772 жыл бұрын
Hey John. 🙂 Firstly, you forgot where you live. Cali. If you make more than your wife, yes. You may have to pay alimony... right up until she remarries. And, she will! That kind of woman needs a gent to help bankroll her gambling (while she flirts and drinks with other men!). Secondly, Cali will expect you to pay child support, if underaged, until the child is out of school. The amount depends on the percentage time she/he spends with their mother, if in fact, she gains primary custody. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Bid her farewell! And, don't cheapskate yourself out of any half of the assets because "it will be easier". You deserve better!! There are A LOT OF LOVELY women who would enjoy and appreciate your company. Take care!
@djpuplex2 жыл бұрын
Always the man fault. He's was essentially abused, that's how the act. Would love to hear these two if the genders were reversed. Stay single men avoid all this nonsense.
@gainesdominique2 жыл бұрын
Read my mind.
@ralfbo6852 жыл бұрын
The husband is the head of the household and responsible for what happens under his roof, including what his wife does. The caller has obviously been distracting himself from the obvious problems happening around him for 30 years. Yeah, it's his fault.
@2Aftw2 жыл бұрын
He was abused and robbed financially.
@monicaporta77592 жыл бұрын
They were getting on him for allowing himself to be abused. They were giving him tough love. They were saying things a friend would say he was still down playing the things his wife did and giving himself the short end of the stick in the end. They were telling him the truth that had he down something 30 years ago he wouldn't be in this spot and even though he hasn't he still deserves more that what he thinks
@djpuplex2 жыл бұрын
@@2Aftw yes he was if it was the other way around they'd call him a swindler.
@Moneychaser6662 жыл бұрын
Can’t imagine half his life gone just a long lie
@marcosmercedesn2 жыл бұрын
This man wasted his life, what a shame
@Kanfachan2 жыл бұрын
The moment any man signs that marriage contract he is potentially in the same position as this guy.
@timothygibney1592 жыл бұрын
@@Kanfachan An ancient proverb. Never sign a contract where the opposing party benefits to break it
@patty1091092 жыл бұрын
Get rid of her.
@go818win2 жыл бұрын
A dilemma ... but choose the latter. A hard thing but regain intangible sense back to your life.