Wife Mismanages Potentially Valid Self-Defense Claim | Jema Donahue Case Analysis

[@roberttalbot1658]

At least she "took out the trash". He won't be around to ruin any more lives.

[@Earthbound369]

No big loss.

[@Kangaroojack1986]

1 less career criminal

[@205ken4]

Yep! Including herself. Both were nothing but scum that we’re all better off w/o.

[@paulx3827]

she has to be punished for not doing it sooner,25$ fine on probation,that will teach her

[@robertkrepek2561]

Yeah F that N.

[@19katsandcounting]

She learned early on that she cannot trust authority including her parents, or most people in general. Her survival strategy was to be nice to get by, to get basic needs met, and not expect more. And always stay vigilant, she didn’t have the luxury of focusing on herself. She carried this into adulthood, because this doesn’t just go away without serious reprogramming. That always attracts psychopaths, and gives too much confidence in dealing with them. You learn early how to live with them and are comfortable with it. Until one day your survival instincts are triggered.

[@Buzzbuzz444]

Very well said

[@shweefranglais7900]

Sounds about right.

[@laurenmorgan9946]

This is me

[@coffeecat086]

Why in the freaking world would someone bully someone for being raped? I was a victim of bullying for disabilities which I get because kids can legit be frightened by it, but I’d think knowing something horrible like that, I’d think the kids would be sad and upset for her

[@benjamindover4337]

Because its common for women to have sex, regret it, and then later declare it was rape, causing the man to suffer undue punishment.

[@coffeecat086]

@@benjamindover4337 I understand in the situation where both of them are adults, and that makes it sketchy af to take true case’s seriously, but she was a child and didn’t want it reported. Mostly though , she was a child. That’s the disconnect that is weird to me.

[@benjamindover4337]

@@coffeecat086 she later had a baby at age 16.. so at what point does one stop being a child?

[@lostandfound5145]

@@benjamindover4337 the human brain doesn’t stop growing until age 25. Just because one system is partially functional does not mean the animal is through adolescence

[@finallyanonymity]

@@lostandfound5145 are you saying that every man having a sex with woman under 25 is a rapist and should be thrown in jail?

[@DarkPhoenix7745]

I know her story had some holes but tbh I just can't bring myself to care one bit when someone abuses a person for years and then they finally get what they had coming to them. I would never convict someone who had been abused like that.

[@ember1794]

You said it perfectly! I just can't bring myself to care - Good riddance

[@bobbymoore8]

Your opinion will have been different if the victim was white and the culprit black.

[@ember1794]

@@bobbymoore8 No, why? My abuser was white

[@hhlagen]

Agreed

[@Violexie-wb7op]

Yeah same dude 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@GrumpyCat-mw5xl]

Seems to me she killed him because he was stalking her and wouldn’t leave her alone. There needs to be better ways to stop this kind of thing before it ends in someone getting killed.

[@trevor244]

Well you explanation really trumps the doctors. Have you actually listened to what he was saying.

[@GrumpyCat-mw5xl]

@@trevor244 do you listen to grande?“ it’s just a theory my opinion” there are other doctors in the world.

[@trevor244]

@@GrumpyCat-mw5xl your right but I did like the way he said it.

[@GrumpyCat-mw5xl]

@@trevor244 grande is a very intelligent man. IMO

[@ruthokelley5833]

This incident shows how a person traps themselves and can see no way out! These individuals were damaged people feeding off each other’s weaknesses…at the bottom of the emotional entrapment, no logical reasoning was available to process…no love or hate was present…just a broken person with a gun to fix the problem! Heartbreaking…

[@MrStringybark]

One important point to me was that she didn't plan it beforehand otherwise she would have researched the best way to take advantage of the BWS laws and acted in a way to take advantage of them.

[@Violexie-wb7op]

I knew this was going downhill once Dr. Grande said she met him in prison. Lord why. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@bunnymad5049]

I did prison ministry for 5 years. Goodness me, those males can be charming when they want to be. I had one, my very first time in, ask questions and I was concentrating so hard on giving vague answers yet he managed to work out where I worked and wrote to me. I was floored and it was a good lesson. He was getting out soon and wanted someone to come out to, to help him go straight etc. I took the letter to our ministry leader and he helped me further re answering probing questions and told me to chuck it and never write back. I did exactly that. Another was nice and charming - yeah - I'd still have NEVER let him out, but the parole board did and within 6 weeks he murdered a young woman. They let him out early "cos he did a course". Like ... 🤦‍♀

[@Violexie-wb7op]

@Bunny Mad wowwww thanks for sharing that wild story. And yeah these people have nothing to lose and everything to gain so I'm sure they look for vulnerable or kind and naive women to attach themselves to.

[@mattblom3990]

I had a narcissistic ex who used to say "hate is closer to love than calm". For some people, sadly, rage and violence are strong emotions and acts that they can relate to and a calm, caring love doesn't appeal to them.

[@bthomson]

Wow! This is sad but true!

[@lulumoon6942]

How revealing... And hope you're healing from that relationship.

[@bigbettybloom9107]

Yupp, I have toxic family members like this that I absolutely can’t stand being around. They love drama. They thrive off of it. I honestly don’t understand it.

[@kyreeseq]

As much as I value life and would be okay with him rotting in jail, this is still self defense. He introduced a gun into the situation, the same gun was used against him - that is very much what they teach you in self defense classes. I can see she made up a lot about how it went down, but I kinda feel like she just didn't have it in her to admit she had enough, he escalated the situation and she shot him when she had the chance. That is what got her the manslaughter charge, in my personal opinion. Appreciate your insight as always!

[@jenna6082]

I am only three minutes into this and I already feel terrible for the childhood Jema experienced.

[@lf9341]

Me too but she chose that crackhead convict over her children.

[@patsysmothermon7861]

I can't help but feel sorry for this very confused lady !! She was So Abused by this Monster !! He really deserved what he got, in my opinion. He was Pure Evil !! 😈

[@bmusic3811]

You're wrong she was a junkie

[@renee1961]

I'm sorry Jema went through that, and at 13!

[@daniellavaladez7820]

And I can’t believe she was bullied for being raped, why the fuck does our society choose to blame the victims instead of the rapist? I feel so sorry for her, no one should ever go through what she did.

[@vorynrosethorn903]

Bloody travesty what happened afterwards as well.

[@candicane1]

Here’s a take away: If you kill someone and claim self-defense, please report it immediately to the authorities. If you don’t, you’re doing a cover-up and they can charge and convict you for murder!

[@queenasmerrose3644]

Right I don't understand why they buried him instead if calling the police

[@redjasper9458]

I know my thoughts are extreme on this but I think if there is a restraining order and that person is violating it then you have every right to pull the trigger as much as it takes to get your life back.

[@angelinparadise7282]

I agree with you. Once the retraining order is given, since its proven it was the other person who violated it, anything that happens later should be considered self defense.

[@Danielle-nz9tn]

You meant if a person IS violating the restraining order, right?

[@redjasper9458]

@@Danielle-nz9tn OH YES! That's a typo. My bad.

[@Ipetam]

I agree. A restraining order is a piece of paper, and you're trusting that the person on the receiving end will respect it. To me, if you've gotten this far that you need a restraining order then this person probably doesn't respect you in the first place. Restraining orders are useless when it comes to actual safety.

[@mimidebrose]

You are doing a very awesome job Dr. Grande! You put out more high quality videos than any other channel. Thank you!

[@acepilotson3331]

Classic case of “if you lay down with dogs, you’re bound to get fleas”. Who could’ve ever seen it ending like this, except everyone. 🤷‍♂️

[@hdm6897]

Having a relationship with a convict period is a no go !but Leaving a convicted felon you just met with your children is totally preposterous and completely irresponsible; what an extremely dumb decision !

[@Danielle-nz9tn]

Yep! And thinking he was rehabilitated? How?! From his stay in prison!?? Yes, we all know what a positive rehabilitating place prison is!!! 🙄

[@mario-qi3yw]

Good day Dr Grande😊I agree with you on she had every right to claim self defense.

[@claudinejames7731]

Thanks Dr. Grande for covering this sad but enlightening story. My first husband was a beater. One time he almost killed me, our landlady had to pull him off. I had lesions and my head was completely black and blue, both eyes swollen shut. That happened less than a year into the marraige a few months after the birth of our first daughter. He continued to hit me, not to that extent any more. But what lead me to tell him to leave was one day when I came home earlier than expected and found him naked in bed with our nine year old daughter. This completely shocked me. Our other daughter, now 50 years old has a wonderful relationship with her father, who she told me had also sexually abused her, although not to the extent as our youngest daughter was. I can't stand the sight of him and have not spoken to him in 40 years. I know I have trauma shock from beatings from my father , a light weight boxer, and from a football player when I was in university whom I had one date, he beat me unconscious, I was in and out of consciousness for a few days. I wanted to kill my x-husband for many years for what he did to our youngest daughter. I was fortunate to have had good friends and therapy. Still, I wish he was dead. My little girl was so small at age nine, this still breaks my heart. I am married to a completely non-violent man now for almost 30 years, surprised I could have a relationship. Thanks to God and good people we can get well.

[@ernestoperfekto4055]

theres a high chance hes still abusing children to this day, u need to report him even if its tough

[@almightyyt2101]

Thats weird - your saying he definitely abused both kids they both acknowledge it - he never faced consequences and yet he has a great relationship w them both?

[@lindalewis8503]

Disgusting.

[@standupp698]

Finally crawling in bed for the night and having lots of anxiety and tension. Couldn't get relaxed, so clearly I typed "Dr. Grande" into the search bar for instant anxiety relief. You do so much more than educate and entertain. You have talked me to sleep many times. If you had a second channel dedicated to reading bedtime stories I bet you would have a really good following 😊

[@bthomson]

A channel that although it covers true crime often still provides reason and clarity!

[@205ken4]

I have bad anxiety in the mornings and Dr Grande’s videos help me also

[@standupp698]

@@205ken4 something so calming about his entire personality! He is my comfort channel.

[@205ken4]

@@standupp698 I agree 100% I literally save watching his content for morning time b/c that’d when my anxiety is at its highest

[@seanledig1431]

I like your show, but if I were on that jury, the only things I would find her guilty of were tampering with evidence and mistreatment of a corpse. In cases of battered spouses, it's no uncommon for the abuser to exercise extreme control over the victim, hence why she didn't flee the house when he called her to the basement. As far as the gun not working and then working, that happens all the time, particularly when you have a cheap gun and/or cheap ammo. Common crooks aren't known for using quality weapons or for taking care of them. Lastly, while some parts of the story don't seem to match up, in a struggle, things change in fractions of a second. Also, someone hyped up on adrenaline or certain drugs, like meth, can keep moving even after suffering a fatal injury. Just my thoughts.

[@michellecolombo9087]

As almost ALL homeschool parents will say: Forced Association is NOT Socialization. As a homeschool mother, my kids are very social with people from babies to elderly, not just kids their own ages. Oh yeah, they also graduated college before they graduated high school. Just sayin

[@THE-id1by]

Aren't families forced associations?

[@angelinparadise7282]

@@THE-id1by good point. Also, in the real world you will meet people you will have to put up with, or be forced to associate with. I'm not against home schooling, but I think it's important to enroll kids in activities where they'll also be around people they dont like and who dont like them.

[@julianhanna37]

Yeah so ur kids have no friends, very healthy for them, it's not because they can talk politely to old people in a store does not mean u did ur job, my life long friends i met at school we've been an inseparable group of 5 since almost 20 years, how in the hell are your kids supposed to have friends and or survive in college

[@user-ty3dd2ez8o]

That's so sad that they don't have any friends the same age as them . Education is important but it's just as important to be able to integrate with others.

[@hayleybourgault4114]

What a coincidence! I just watched an episode of I am a killer on Netflix last night. Her story was one of them. I don't know why people think that they will get away with murder. They rarely do. Thanks Dr.G. for all your hard work.💜

[@kyuubifox33]

Wasn’t murder. Was self defense.

[@michelleayala02]

It was murder

[@j.h.6081]

As a mom, having a guy who's been released from prison watch your kids sound like a horrible idea. Dating him in the first place doesn't sound much better.

[@lostandfound5145]

My thoughts too, I cringe to think of how he treated those children 😢

[@lostandfound5145]

@Pat Luxor the only correct way to handle a pit bull is with a 9mm at close range 😉

[@Faristol7]

J.H. Spot on. I don't feel sorry for anyone who makes terrible dating decisions and imposes violent partners upon their children. I feel sorry for her children, but not her.

[@dankadesign7462]

@@lostandfound5145 agree and i know what you mean but having pit bulls dogs i know how great they are and should not be compared with this human trash.

[@DottieMinerva]

And letting him watch your kids alone.

[@spiritualtruthseeker1947]

I think that Jema lost it after years of abuse. He would not go away and had intimidated her into taking him back multiple times. She felt helpless and just took him out. She likely thought he was going to kill her when he came to the house, as she probably did every time he violated the restraining order. He’s not much of a loss to society and if he wasn’t dead, he would have ultimately killed Jema or another woman. This may seem cold, but I don’t care.

[@shethingsd]

Dr. Grande, is there any child equivalent to Battered Woman Syndrome? I watched a review a couple of days ago where it had the two youngest children put on death row, a brother and sister who made several attempts to tell parents, teachers, and investigations by CPS and police which didn't help them at all. They were being sexually abused by an uncle who was a registered sex offender and living in the home with the father and her sister. They planned the murder of all three adults in the home as they'd asked father and girlfriend for help before. It ended up they only killed the girlfriend and then got scared. They didn't tell their defense attorneys about the abuse because they'd told so many people before and no one helped them. I've never heard a defense for children. But they are more vulnerable than women because if no one believes or will help them, they really can't just leave unlike an adult woman who has more options. I think of the Melendez brothers. Of course, they didn't reach out for help like the children in the case I am talking about. The children in that case ended up having some changes to their sentences and got out at 29 and 30 years old or so, I believe. They were 13 and 12 when they murdered their dad's girlfriend. Any insight would be great.

[@shethingsd]

The children I was talking about is Catherine and Curtis Jones.

[@kyuubifox33]

Her being found guilty of manslaughter was a miscarriage of Justice. Her abuser should have never been in her home with a court order against him. End of story

[@hotsauce1646]

Love and responcebility are a strange combination when it comes to a abusive relationship. It always gets out of hand somehow. And it does not have to end in murder for most of the time one person in this type of relationship gets a life of terror and fear . It's easy to say " just walk away or just don't go for any person with this abusive trait. But it's not that simple. Abusers know who to pick and sweet talk themselfs into your life , by the time you get hit it's to far into the relationship. It takes a realy strong minded person to leave then and there if that first hit comes. And beleave me those are rare.

[@ZYX84]

✨ Hello Dr.Grand🧩e. So very good to see you. I always appreciate your very forthright & thorough analysis. You deliver them each evening with respect & with a dignified sense of humor.❤ Thank you Dr. Grand🧩e.✨

[@Violexie-wb7op]

Agreed 😌

[@kristenmeza4295]

I saw this in Netflix’s ‘I am a Killer.’ A lot of these killers have one thing, stories don’t add up.

[@lulumoon6942]

That makes sense!

[@ledzep3692]

I knew them both. It was hard to watch because I know for a fact that Jemma was a meth addict. They both went to Pennsylvania to kick the habit. When they got back to knob Noster, she got back on meth. He was frustrated with her continued use of the drug. She murdered him because he didn't bring meth to her. Her continued lies just prove that she isn't remorseful.

[@tlove5287]

I just seen her episode on Netflix and there NO WAY that's was self defense !!! The evidence is point blank speaking for itself ...if he got shot that many times expecially in the mouth ....there's no way he said what she said!! No way !! And she had him buried where everyone does dope...she is guilty and Its crazy people actually believe her 😅

[@leylamoody3177]

Excellent analysis, Dr. Grande! ❤️

[@bruceyung70]

I love your channel! Thank you, sir!

[@SilvioManfredDante85]

I'm not surprised by any of this!

[@emilyk9388]

I’m from rural Missouri, not far from some of the locations cited. There are probably as many meth houses as there are “houses of the Lord.” I’m guessing she may have concealed his death to avoid losing access to her children. Even with a legitimate self-defense claim, she may have been trying to avoid drawing attention to conditions or behaviors that could raise concerns. In the same way, her homeschooling could have been implemented to shroud abuse. She may have kept questionable people in her life and around her kids because it’s what she had modeled for her and/or her judgment was seriously impaired by substances. I feel for her suffering, but I can’t support her choices.

[@Violexie-wb7op]

Well said, agreed.

[@damnmuggle]

Gema talks about that she was abusing drugs etc and has been taking classes and doing programs while in jail

[@walkerpantera]

my eyebrow raised when she said he left her upstairs to go to basement after he locked the door and windows...with what....deadbolts??? my first thought was wgy didnt she just go out the window OR if he locked the door, how did she get out to go to the basement when he supposedly called her down there? she was an idiot for getting involved with a freshly released convict anyway.

[@jaxsmith1204]

"She was an idiot for getting involved with a convict" Why? She was no better than him lol. She was a drug addict and loved the drugs he supplied. She was with him for a reason, she's no angel. Her self defense story is a lie. That "convict" was the victim. Remember that.

[@Family4ever_41]

I agree. I scrolled through so many comments to find someone who wrote this. I'm not saying that abuse didn't happen, but am I the only person seeing holes in her story? Besides the prosecuting attorny??

[@Sofiaode18]

@@jaxsmith1204She was a rape victim on a self destructive path, you have a whole lotta empathy for a POS man but not her.

[@bellyfulochelly4222]

Dr. Grande, I'm so grateful that you just read the ads from your sponsors now. I like to fall sleep listening your soothing voice, but the standard ads usually wake me up, which defeats the purpose. You reading the ads maintains that ASMR-type flow, helping me to fall asleep and stay asleep. Btw, thank you so much for tucking me into bed every night these past couple of years. Know that you are providing an invaluable service to scores of insomniacs out there! ♥️

[@fardrives]

Really great take on self defense! I don't think many people are losing sleep about an abusive crack dealer.

[@205ken4]

I’m not but I wouldn’t loose any sleep over her type no longer being with us either 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@hindisikhnewaalaa]

@@205ken4 Why does she seem to you an expendable undesirable?

[@lf9341]

It's infuriating that she let him watch her kids.

[@OneBadAssMoMo]

@@205ken4 what makes her disposable?

[@kyuubifox33]

@@205ken4 That’s a nicely polished bad take you’ve hit there

[@armyantlocsta]

I knew them BOTH….but especially Jema.

[@kellyanni5092]

Perfect timing! Thanks Dr. Grande😉

[@michelleayala02]

I just watched this episode on Netflix and I have to say, there are a lot of holes in what she’s saying. Something of things she said he was doing and saying seem near impossible. I can’t imagine someone shot in their shoulder can restle their “victim” to the ground, while thrashing their arms. The other thing that doesn’t make sense is if the hun jammed when he supposedly tried to shoot her, how all of a sudden she was able to shoot him? And where is the mark on her head from him hitting her over the head with the gun? How was he able to point the gun at his left ear if his head is right next to hers? And of course she paid someone to get rid of his body. Who is believing this story??

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

I watched this case on Netflix and I was hoping you would cover it, so happy you did it! Thank you for the comprehensive review, Dr. Grande.❤

[@MandaPanda0929]

Really weird I just watched the Netflix series I am a Killer with Jema's story. This is such a strange case, because I do believe he was very violent but her actions afterwards weren't the best. I feel bad for her and think her sentence though is justified, it was manslaughter- not murder just in the fact that she had a restraining order against him and he brought a gun to her house. Great analysis Dr Grande!

[@SweetUniverse]

One of my friends ended up in a relationship like this one. He put her in the hospital twice. When she tried to leave him she hid out at her parents' house. He arrived with a baseball bat and tried to kill her father. Thankfully the police arrived first. I don't think it's right to blame the female in the relationship. Some relationships start out normally. Jealousy can rear its ugly head, along with control issues. Pregnancy can bring out the worst in the husband. Sometimes there were no problems until the wife became pregnant. In my friend's case, the death of her ex-bf (at someone else's hand) was the only thing that saved her. Leaving doesn't help if he finds you and tries to kill you and/ or your family. I'm more interested to know how a person becomes so mentally ill/ violent.

[@lostandfound5145]

I am a survivor of a 15 yr marriage to an abusive man. I have done a lot of work to understand these relationships so that I could make sense of what I went through. One thing I learned was that these things never spring up out of nowhere. The abuse is always there, the control is always present. Abusive behavior is the result of a personality disorder. Most commonly a cluster B disorder. The brainwashing that occurs can be very subtle but I don’t think healthy individuals get into such relationships, they see the warning signs and leave. Every single survivor I’ve met had a toxic upbringing (often with a parent w/a cluster B PD) and they were accustomed to having their feelings invalidated and they existed in a constant state of feeling unworthy and wanting to “prove” their worth to their partner. It’s brutal, spending years trying to be perfect and believing you’re failing every time they fail to regulate their own emotions. Being responsible for someone else’s emotions is impossible and exhausting. Being an abusive person is often a symptom of cluster B personality disorder. This is caused by upbringing combined with certain personality traits. In my experience abusive people are wholly irrational and incapable of taking criticism or acknowledging wrong doing in a true capacity. They convince themselves that they are the victim and not the perpetrator. Their depth of denial and delusion is frightening.

[@kdawson8981]

@@lostandfound5145 this is the second reply I’ve read of yours on this video. Your insight and genuine care for this situation is amazing! Idk what you do for a living, but I’m thinking “Lost and Found for president 2024” ??? 😊

[@rastabincoolie1]

I was with you up until you said something dumb like " dont blame the female in the relationship". Do better. In situations where women are the victim then yes you are correct. But blanket statements cover and hide the issues rather than examine why they might be.

[@fullmetal_neet2288]

Did you friend move in a prison inmate too?

[@mitzi66]

What a terrible situation to be in! Who wouldn't be scared of not getting fair treatment by the law, and who would be thinking straight after that? The poor woman chose the law by getting a restraining order, but it didn't protect her, sounds like she didn't have a choice,good riddance, I'm sick of violent men! She should be free!

[@HeleneLouise]

What a beautiful background with the ambient lighting and cactus motif. Very artistic.

[@madalfromuk4729]

Two points 1 how did he get in the house,2whos gun was it ,I think he was entrapped into the house

[@jenz5607]

Jema may have experienced dissociation that is not uncommon among children who have been traumatized and who continue to be traumatized in adulthood. She really may not have a clear picture of the events on the day of the shooting. Many abused women live under the constant threat that they will be killed. Psychologically it makes sense that when they are attacked, they engage in "overkill" as all of the years of terror are released at once. I hope her and her children receive the care and compassion they deserve.

[@theresabromar5415]

An excellent comment.

[@SandyRiverBlue]

What are we doing as a society if a convicted rapist only gets 120 days in prison?

[@lulumoon6942]

Former DV/SV Victim Advocate, including of teens. I can confirm bullying is common, including of adults! 👀

[@KoolT]

LISTEN to the ending people. Love IS NEVER VIOLENT

[@missybishop4996]

Dr. Grande your speculations are my daily enjoyment. I appreciate you!💓

[@MEL2theJ]

Back to watch again. Thank you Dr. Grande 🙏

[@nimsa2000]

Hello 👋 good Dr. Grande 😀 thank you for posting, I love ❤️ your speculations and analysis ❤️ have a great Doc!

[@brandyjohnson8953]

Dr. Grande, look into the case known as the chalk gun killer , Fort Worth , Tx. As far as I know no one has posted about it. It's pretty interesting

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

If there was a protection order against Javon and he entered her home, wouldn’t laws like the castle doctrine or stand your ground be a valid defense?

[@MrStringybark]

This is what happens when you can't afford a decent lawyer.

[@bthomson]

"Decent lawyer" I think I'll just let that sit a moment?

[@user-xg3uy6hq9g]

women's shelters help you disappear

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

Exactly. I believe Kyle Rittenhouse would be serving life in prison if not for the hundreds of thousands of $$$ the far-right donated to his legal defense.

[@kswindl]

What? How so?

[@MrStringybark]

@@bthomson Now, now, don't be pedantic. Surely, there must be at least one.😂😂

[@roberttalbot1658]

Dr Grande, .... I miss your jabs at the "Garbage State" of New Jersey. Please for your fans, please put in the occasional jab at N.J. ! 😃

[@ninachkah13]

As a Jersey resident who loves this state, I very much enjoy the jabs as well!

[@ninachkah13]

@Strummer Cash I love that! Thank u! To be completely transparent, I've had a very awful day and I thank you for putting a smile on my face :) many blessings for the new year ahead 🙏🏻

[@NBF1865]

At least he won't hurt any else justice served 😉

[@georgemonde8237]

She knows how to pick em

[@HollywoodBazzey-nu5oe]

Doctor Grande you is a boss you explain this whole situation perfectly because the people in the comment section their take on the situation is one-sided

[@daveatkins3568]

What’s up DOC G ! Putting ‘‘em out late night. Happy New Year’s buddy 🎉😎✌🏼

[@carnifaxx]

I think it's important to have BWS aside from PTSD and commonly understood self-defense, because one of the risks when the abuser reaches their victim is not that they would harm the victim, but that they wouldn't - they are very skillful manipulators and the victim knows that and their own weakness toward this behaviour. Like we from far away may of course see it as a completely rational choice (they abuse you - go away), but unfortunately reality doesn't work this simple way. My point is that even though the victim of domestic abuse may not feel threatened by immediate violence, they may still feel very threatened by their own weakness in contact with the abuser and their inability to leave this actual situation in some kind of self-controlled manner. Like if you were a puppet, you cannot just unhook and leave when the hook is still present - you need to cut it off. It may look like overreacting and not a self-defense but how can you explain this thought pattern to anyone when just few years ago home violence was not considered a big deal... and some people don't get what's the problem even today.

[@gailkelly4651]

Hello Dr Grande...this is a strange one. As always I love reading your videos and seeing you. Thank you for your analysis of all these cases. ♥️🌷

[@kuroneko7022]

Why the hell was she hooking up with a drug dealer who was in prison when she has two children??? These women make some helluva decisions when it comes to relationships. His killing is no loss to society but now she’s separated from her kids and has a felony on her record for life. smh

[@werewally3156]

One way to clear a misfire in a rimfire pistol, if it has a double action is to simply squeeze the trigger a second or third time. The primers of .22 rimfire ammunition can fail, id say maybe at least two out of a box of 500. It happens.

[@AliValentine143]

Yeah, see if a Judge gives an order to stay away from someone just stay all the way away. It's a protection order for a reason; usually because of the Victim's true need but also the kids and in some cases by those able to manipulate a court. Just stay all the way away. I wouldn't have given her much punishment and it would've been based only on the unlawful disposal of his body. He put himself in grave danger.

[@jasmincampbell8105]

The behavior afterwards makes me wonder if he was invited there by her; they continued a romantic relationship even after she left him.

[@Heyitskrystal]

If you look at the number of murder suicides every year committed by men like Jovan I don’t think her story or the motivation of her actions after sound untrue. She made dumb decisions but after years of abuse acting on fear is understandable, I wouldn’t do it but I canapé how an abuse victim could.

[@ninachkah13]

Here early for one of the only rational, and still fabulously hilarious people in these youtube streets

[@justinv588]

There is an easy explanation for the gun misfire. If it was a double action only semiauto, a round can misfire and when the firing pin hits the round again, it will go off. I've had it happen a couple times with my gun.

[@MachineGunKali]

I love listening to this man. His calm voice and intelligent use of sarcasm. Plus I learn so much. Annnnnd his facial expressions don’t change. 😂 Also, I know worked with a man who was Javon’s friend. We were at work one day, and during downtime, we were watching an episode on this couple. My coworker said “she didn’t have to kill that man like that.” I asked him “was he actually beating on her?” he said “Yeah but still.” 😒😒

[@mm7886]

I watched the story on Netflix. After watching the show I think law enforcement and the DA should have used self defense. Jema shouldn't be in prison. Because Jema had a restraining order against her abuser. He knowingly and willingly violated the restraining order, trespassed into the home, attacked her, threatened her with a firearm, assaulted her and he said he was going to kill her. She fought back and he died. But the DA ran with manslaughter/ battered woman syndrome instead of agreeing to self defense. When it should have been a clear as day self defense and Jema should not have been charged with anything. The DA got it wrong. Jury got it wrong too.

[@bmusic3811]

Jema wasn't a saint she was an addict

[@sacmom3]

Hi Dr. Grande. Could you please do an analysis on George Santos and his many lies?

[@AliValentine143]

Hey he did it for you! Thanks for asking it was more interesting than I guessed it could be. 😀

[@yellowjacket5995]

A lot of men have this misconception that they have to have an "alpha male" personality, be really good looking, or rich to find a relationship. This case is one of many clear counter examples. What women are really looking for is upstanding, sensitive, and kindhearted men, like the gentleman in this video. Ask any woman about her exes. She will tell you she has never dated anyone with toxic "masculine" traits like narcissism, psychopathy, aggression, etc. Men mostly choose women for shallow reasons like physical appearance. On the other hand, woman are morality detectors, and choose men based on nobility.

[@georgemonde8237]

She sure didn't pick that ugmoe for his appearance...SHEESH!

[@yellowjacket5995]

@@georgemonde8237 He might be remarkably hideous, but I imagine he was very artistic and intellectual. He probably wrote beautiful poetry.

[@haggis525]

Ask most modern women about their exes and you're going to hear "narcissist", "toxic", "mysoginist" and a whack of other negative adjectives. These words - and others - are tossed about so often that they have lost meaning in modern-day conversation. Weird, though, that so many women have so many exes with these traits. Almost as if they can't pick a good man. Or they are just lying. It's a conundrum. 🤔

[@nate_8403]

The noble crack dealer

[@brandonf.8360]

If I could ask, if some women pick men only for money and nothing more isn't that shallow? Also, all the traits you named are displayed by men and women. Toxicity isn't gender based. Also, if women picked nobility, why do so many women sleep with or have children with men they don't respect?

[@natashabourne2167]

I cannot understand why women marry men AFTER they have threatened their lives. He told her at 4 months that he would kill her rather than separate. Then she married him AFTER that. How do you walk down the aisle, knowing that person has threatened your life?

[@streaming5332]

Screwed thinking.

[@zooeyzanger3318]

You answered your own question. Fear.

[@drea4195]

maybe because she was more afraid of death than marriage??

[@keytowomanhood506]

She had a plan for him.

[@pebbles92able]

​@@keytowomanhood506 lol

[@schrecksekunde2118]

sounds more like "homeschooling ruining a person's social ability to react to extreme social stress" - as so often.

[@bedlambikes]

Dr Grande, how about the case of Mandy Stavik?? It'd be great to hear your analysis.

[@richardthompson5810]

Why/how did she fall for and marry such a person in the first place? It sounds like she ran with the wrong crowd from an early age.

[@Brandibb]

If she would have just left the body where it was and didn't clean up the scene..... the self defense senerio would have been believable. Self defense + his past record would have put her in the clear. Cleaning things up is way too suspicious.

[@dianemorton2222]

I feeĺ this story is so sad. I feel the verdict is too harsh. I feel home schooling is not for all. I feel she needed better social skills. This story is sad. Prayers for this family.

[@dianajane6185]

Great analysis, Dr. Grande. Thank you.😊

[@pratze86]

The problem is that the only side to the story we know is her side. Even about everything she said he did to her. He never got the chance to respond to what she tells about him. I am not saying it is not true. But who knows? She murdered a human being. Why should I believe what she is telling about the person she killed?

[@hrdley911]

Great life choices on her part...

[@RoseNZieg]

the problem with BWS, especially with stalkers or death threats, is that it reminds me of the situation when gangs put a hit on you. you know you will die but just not when. either one is not permissible in court for an exemption of self-defense. it really comes down to how the struggle ends. abuser gets hurt or dies, abused gets charged. abused get hurts or dies, abuser gets charged. with the stigma of BWS, I don't think people should even use it again. I feel like anything it gets talked about it really taints the abused more than the abuser. you might as well just go with the usual self defense criteria just to avoid being tainted.

[@flowerjpotter1629]

In cases where there's a restraining order but the person turns up with a deadly weapon, it would be much fairer if deadly weapon turned on the abuser meant no charges, but that's just how my head sees it.

[@LordPrometheous]

3:18 he's dressed like every defendant in court who has never worn dress clothes a day in their lives--except in court.

[@christopherhernandez271]

Self defense from long term abuse

[@SweetUniverse]

A temporary restraining order? How about a permanent restraining order? Is that possible??

[@bbryant2503]

I’m not sure if I agree with the concept of BWS being a means for a woman to “overreact”. Abuse being characterized as being “mistreated” grossly minimizes the affect of years of abuse. As someone that was taken from my parents bcuz of abuse and a survivor or DV I can assure you that in the moment of being beaten up yet again you constantly feel like your life is in danger. That woman was not mistreated. She was terrorized. That man threatened her and her kids. The police don’t do ANYTHING until you have been murdered. I’m not sure if her story of events is 100% true but I know for sure that she lived in constant fear. If you don’t know what that’s like then you (ppl in general) are not in any position to call her response as “over reacting”. She moved states and he followed. I’m sure she feels more free in prison than she has ever felt since the abuse started.

[@drea4195]

Thank you. I usually agree with Dr. Grande's analyses, but I have also noticed he seems to have a blind spot with this particular issue.

[@theresabromar5415]

B Bryant and Drey, I am into total agreement with both of you. Dr. Grande is deficient in his understanding (actually - lack there of) of what it's like to suffer continual beatings, mental abuse and trauma of being alive under a crazy and cruel tormentor. They are not capable of thinking like a "law abiding normal citizen". Why Dr. Grande can't understand that, is truly puzzling to me. Thank God Jema ended up alive. And she did NOT deserve prison time.

[@PoM-MoM]

My niece is a teacher for 15 years now. One day in 2021 she was on school property and slipped on ice, severely fracturing her ankle. For some reason she said that her students and other kids, they pointed and laughed while she screamed in pain laying on the school walkway. This was during a school lunch hour time so many kids were outside. After a minute one or two FINALLY helped her. Just disgusting behavior by teenaged children. Makes me even more glad that I didn't have any children (by choice). Such lack of moral ethics wouldn't have been tolerated in my house hold. I worry for the future and these children being responsible for their own babies and households. Because of hard financial times I have a feeling that many will be living and raising their kids in their parents (grandparents) basements and panning off their babies care onto their parents & grand parents. EVEN WORSE and more so than they do now already. Keep yourselves safe and PRAY for our country!!

[@barbieblue3336]

Some people I think mistake jealousy & desire for control for "love " - what was her parents' marriage like? Will re-eatch to see if you addressed that.

[@TheMetalCrafter]

No one has ever committed murder being smothered by love and affection

[@rickshelton1955]

Typical relationship in these circumstances

[@lazydaisy2292]

I don't know if this were self defense but if it were, hiding the body could be irrelevant in arguing against self defense. Hiding a body is an action of panic. Just because something can be legally justified, doesn't mean the perpetrator won't panic and do the wrong thing to cover it up in the moment.

[@EdugeBDroN]

I guess her mom didn't restrict her enough..not to get knocked up.

[@janetroberts5140]

So sad, I left after violence, my husband had a hammer, smashing things, it was worth leaving and never looking back! So far one year of freedom.

[@sambennett7606]

Cover the Margeret Kastanis case please!

[@mathewbowyer2221]

On one hand: that story she told the cops is obvious bullshit. On the other hand: I can't see why she'd make up such obvious bullshit instead of just saying "the abusive ex broke in and I lit him up." The latter is not only believable, but a guaranteed get-out-of-jail-free card.

[@jmevb60]

As usual, incredibly (sorry! I guess it is believable with Dr Grande) balanced and insightful view. Thank you

[@rayross997]

Please cover Jane Stafford, her story is told in the KZbin available movie Life With Billy.