Will a narcissist come back?

[@rockybalboa4593]

I don’t think mine is coming back. I told him exactly what he is and spelled it out with info from the DSM and examples of his own behaviors and even his own words. Even told him all about the idealization, devaluation, and discard cycle. I told him what he did to me was a discard and it’s the idealization stage for the new person. He told me he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. I said “of course you don’t. Because I’m useless to you since you can’t control and manipulate me anymore. I see right through you. Never have you been more transparent than right now.” He’s been gone from online ever since and I’ve never run into him anywhere either. Highly unusual.

[@leeboriack8054]

Bold. Good for you, now be the best version of you!

[@777JESUSISLORD71]

Same. My x narc seemed to have vanished after I tore down his ego going down a list of all his destructive behaviors,and what he has done,and the lies he has told

[@assplundah]

Yep, exactly the same here. They definitely do not react well to being told you’ve worked out who they are!

[@kennethwoodley7409]

This is good to hear ,hopefully she won't ever come back 🙏 if she does ,I have more strength and wisdom

[@sindust150]

Doesn’t matter if a true narcissist they thing you are a fool and the are God!

[@mamasitatita]

They do come back. Stay focused.

[@HippieZippy]

Hi Ben, That flawed and emotional thinking is what trips us up! We yearn for them to come back in order to convince ourselves that somehow it shows that they cared or that we mattered. But the reality is- we did not! We were just objects to be used and discarded like trash. One moment you're deemed useful the next day you've been replaced. Once you've been devalued, disrespected and disregarded, there's no turning back. Even if , hypothetically they do come back, they now know you know that something isn't right! Which makes them even more uneasy and they up the cruelty and abuse. Don't wish for these people to come back in your life! They've treated you in the most despicable and degrading way. It's painful I know ; but that's the reality. All you can do is move on, learn from the experience. Leave the narcissist to whomever the new supply is, they will do the same to them. It's a rinse and repeat cycle. It's worth remembering that whilst they're creating all this external chaos, nothing compares to the internal chaos that's within them. Love, live & be happy - A reality that a narcissist seldomly achieves.

[@sindust150]

They come back but it’s up to you to not let them back

[@merletyler2233]

They always come back

[@AnonymousAvatarAA]

I don't think so. I caused a massive ego injury and went no contact. Am sure he hates me but guess what, his hate tells me I did something right.

[@rockybalboa4593]

I don’t think mine is coming back either. I told him exactly what he is and spelled it out with info from the DSM and examples of his own behaviors and even his own words. Even told him all about the idealization, devaluation, and discard cycle. I told him what he did to me was a discard and it’s the idealization stage for the new person since he already had someone lined up to replace me

[@misterc3431]

@@rockybalboa4593 Ditto, and i spelled out all his manipulative behaviors and was like these do not get addressed, you dont get to come back into my life. There will be no lets be friends.I think there has to be a time when you have to ask yourself if this person,is not going to change so i guess its up to me to change

[@JLRhoades04]

When mine first discarded me he asked me to be friends.... I passed told him your friendship isn't beneficial and I don't even know who you are! It's been a couple of weeks quiet.... hopefully this continues. Good luck to all

[@Soadmm86]

Mine did the same with the being friends thing. I accepted at first but after a few weeks I said I don’t think I want this and I need to think about it because it wasn’t beneficial to me as she’d only text me or message me in her times of boredom. She thru a hissy fit and blocked me even tho id had already unfollowed her on Instagram and what not 🤷‍♂️ also turned in all around on me saying I said we couldn’t be friends so I think she was calling my bluff before I had time to think about it. I just wished her well and said I’d leave her be because I was confused as hell. Exactly a month later she text me like nothing had happened. So be careful. Like Ben said, it could happen at anytime. Good luck

[@JLRhoades04]

@@Soadmm86 I have not blocked him yet, he has my dog 😢 so the door is partially cracked. I'm in no contact other than that. Hopefully it remains, I have a lot of healing to do after almost 8years. Thank you! Wish you all the best in your journey too

[@Soadmm86]

@@JLRhoades04 oh man that’s horrible… that’s gotta be rough. I hope you get your dog back somehow and get to stay away from him. And thank you! It took me a few hours to reply to her but I ended up just telling her I realized how much easier and better my life was without her so I wished her the best and told her I was blocking her number which I did. It’s almost been a year now 🤗 I still think about the closure I’m never gonna get but at the end of the day it’s not worth it. 8 years is a lone time and I can imagine the toll it’s had on you. Stay strong

[@JLRhoades04]

@@Soadmm86 thank you ❤️! Knowing that he has a disorder helps in the healing, and the knowledge of I'm doing what I have to do for me, for my happiness and peace of mind. And to protect it all cost. I hope I get lil man back (my big 200lb dog 😉) but I also have to make sure my situation is right and not be just being selfish. Better days ahead of us! Here's to 2023 🥂

[@danielmurphy3855]

@@Soadmm86 .6

[@amysandstrum719]

And talking about appliances. We were broken up for several months and he told me wish he could lock me up in his basements till he was done with studies, asked me not to add anyone on fb till he was done with his studies. He was studying his masters at the time and I guess he didnt want to be distracted by jealously. The entitlement.

[@KP-tn9cq]

I’m on day 2 of our breakup. He essentially forced me to leave. I am broken. And I’m so confused bcuz I want him to come back even though I know he’s bad for me. I didn’t realize in the beginning that I was being “love Bombed”. I thought that was genuine. I became so attached. I miss him and hate him. I keep asking myself why I wasn’t good enough to compel him to want to treat me better. I’m so lost and gutted.

[@elesaknowles5664]

They will keep hovering till you block them and then if you see each other and then they try to act they you are meeting for the first time …gross

[@alfadee45]

That’s strange! Mine told me that we would have to start out as strangers to see if we could live together

[@user-rt9pv4ft3l]

4 years, initially hoovered every week for a year, followed by hoover every 3 months. There you have it a stalker. Now warned and completely blocked as I moved on, the only way is for him to turn up at my front door!

[@amysandstrum719]

For me it right after and then blocked me again for no reason then he tried 3 months later, asked me out again then tried 4 months then 5 months then a year afterwards. I kept getting mini hoovers for up to 2 years. I would like to think hes never coming back because how it ended last time with him you would think that would be the end. But I honestly have no clue with him.

[@visancosmin8991]

@@amysandstrum719 Did he have other persons in that time ?

[@judithargitay9860]

It's more usual they come back at some point, but IMO it has nothing to do with you or the way you behaved previously. It's all about them as it has always been. If they find themselves short of supply or you just start beeping on their radar for any reason, they show up pretending nothing happened. But it's not interest or love, they are incapable of that, they just want to know if they still have control over you to squeeze some response out of you. Very sick people, try to struggle through the withdrawal symptoms and forget them forever. Go find a healthy person.

[@cherrylynn7173]

My ex narc discarded me the first time. He would try to text me every 6 months to a year to see how I was. It was over 5 years before I started hanging out with him again. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!! He was still doing the same mental and emotional abuse but this time I caught everything he did. I finally discarded him last may and at first I thought I could be his friend. ANOTHER HUGE MISTAKE! He started stalking me, hoovering, gas lighting, manipulating, having angry spells when I wouldn’t act like his gf again, the love bombing, jealous rages, arguing etc. Don’t believe they won’t come back at anytime. Just be prepared if/ when they do. He told me to my face “no matter who you are with you’ll always come back to me” And he meant that. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I know now that he is a true blue narcissist. And I can’t return to him to put up with that abuse again Don’t talk to them it’ll be like looking in the eyes of Medusa.

[@visancosmin8991]

Did you tell him during that time that you know he is a narc ?

[@StarflyerT]

Will be 1 year no contact at the end of this month as well as one year since starting the online abuse group. Mom has made perhaps one attempt since ones last year and my siblings and I are happier without her in our lives and having to deal with her moods via text and messenger. The reality that we are all healing and getting healthier keeps me straight about staying no contact. One year doesn't mean things are easier. It doesn't mean the pain is gone. It means you realize they are not a vital part of daily life. Doors stay shut. Here's to upcoming one year anniversary

[@HippieZippy]

Well done you! ❤️

[@RawMotivations]

Awesome! Would love to help you along your healing journey. Feel free to grab a time here: rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones

[@joelvinson]

Man, that last 4 minutes hit me hard. I've been kinda working through this stuff for 6-7 months, feeling like I dont have all my bases covered. And I don't, apparently. I'm getting there with realizing there's a trauma bond, but the relationship was so close that I feel like it's still just a matter of 'when'. I get it, I really do. Ive been looking into all sorts of videos for months now. Guess this is just a part of growing up I didn't realize I needed to know.

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com

[@snehabolagani4953]

he came back to just check on me after a year

[@nataleedenlinger635]

Am I the only one watching this hoping he’ll say no?

[@usatodaywife]

My 61-year-old ex-narc is now back to living on mac-n-cheese, ramen noodles, pizza, tater tots, beer/wine/alcohol, stuffing his face with piles of bacon and/or sausage at the buffet after church (he's a fake Christian who's just pretending), and gobbling down other restaurant meals. He already has a heart condition, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, was 1 point away from a diabetes diagnosis, and has had skin cancer in the past. I can pretty much guarantee when his health declines and he's looking at spending $70,000+ a year to have home healthcare aids come in, suddenly I'll get a hoover to be his caregiver for free LOL 🤣😆🤣

[@MegaRockstar48]

I think it depends on a few things 1. How good the new supply is 2. How good you were as the old supply. 3. Did you walk away and they realised that you had figured out their game

[@h3llsbrvt]

my narc ex has came back when i was SO confident and i was boasting about it i was so happy that i was so confident, and then he just hovered his way back

[@amysandstrum719]

Yes. He found messages between me and my ex from 7 years ago. Actually they were messages between a friend and I and I was talking about my ex in the messages. Again, from 7 years ago. He got massively jealous and said he wanted to break up so he could date other women and feel better about himself. Like...first it wasnt enough to invade my privacy but then to make assumptions about me because of messages from 7 years ago?? i didnt even know him then. He would constantly compare himself to my exes or want to know details.

[@visancosmin8991]

Mine checked my phone and saw that I asked a doctor (girl) on messenger about a problem that I had and she exploded that I'm cheating her with that doctor. Unbelievable!

[@cocomademoiselle1117]

Evil I met will not have the balls nor courage to come back. He burned all bridges, broke most holly rules I have and on top of it he owns me money so the evil will stay away 🎉

[@amysandstrum719]

I honestly thought several times hes never going to come back because of the way our last conversation ended. After the discard I thought well okay hes blocked me, hes not going to come back. Then he thought I started dating others and called me up. He sounded ANGRY. I took his call and we started talking again. He eventually asked me out but I said no (even though I wanted to, I knew he was mentally unstable) and then he got angry and tried to twist it around and say he was the one who asked me out again and didnt go through with it LOL. I corrected him and said No honey, I SAID NO. He found out I was dating someone and called me 150 times blew up my phone from morning till evening. Then called me again for 2 weeks after that. Then called me in March and April and then finally in June around my birthday and acted as crazy as ever. The I miss you, youre taking up mental space, who are you dating (actually demanding to know) etc etc. He found out from someone else that I was talking behind his back. Which I have to admit, I shouldnt have done but I was extremely bewildered and confused and frankly hurt by his behaviour. I didnt quite understand narcissim yet. When he found out about this he vowed to never call me again. Then almost a year later I found him joining the same groups I was apart of in fb, posting songs in those groups he knew i would recognise as our songs, posting comments about being nostalgic for those things etc. He continued this until I called him out on it. Again he acted crazy and started first with threats and then asking if I wanted to reconcile with him?!? then he blocked me after saying he thinks about me all the time. I blocked him back and then two days later sent mean threatening emails after acting sweet and kind and wanting to get back?!? His mood swings and inconsistent behaviour is extremely confusing?! Finally I called HIM out and told him what a POS he was and then he threatened with police report which is rich considering he contacted me several times when I told him dont talk to me anymore. He also called me worse names. So now he has threatened me with police action for something he has done over and over and over again. I dont think he can come back from this but it also would not surprise me if does. He does the most horrible sick things and then acts like a victim. He is an obsessed individual and even admits hes obsessed and has OCD.

[@RawMotivations]

It's important to protect yourself from negative or harmful situations and to prioritize your own well-being. Remember that you are deserving of love and respect.

[@jessicagiraffact]

I'm sorry for that. This is actually what happened to me. Hope you're better now. Stay safe and away from him as much as possible

[@KathyBall-f6c]

Mine said he wanted to keep the lines of communication open. He’s with new supply and don’t want anything to do with him

[@PassionateFlower]

Some will, some won't. Don't hold your breath...

[@kells3166]

I thought mine would never come back and he did after 7 years. I thought he changed but boy I was wrong. I Blocked him after I found out he had a new supply and told me that we should be friends.

[@RawMotivations]

Often they do come back

[@misterc3431]

I think i am safe I called my toxic person out, on what he did to me and his wife. Told to get therapy, This was after he stalked me. Since unmasking him, he has been radio silent, And gone because there is nothing for him. He cant control me. Our mutals know and lost all respect for hm.

[@visancosmin8991]

Did he get therapy ?

[@BlairH3]

For example-Mine got mad at his best friend who is dead b/c I was with him before him. The only reason mine hasn't contacted me is b/c he is facing 60+ years in jail for rape and assaults (no contact order), but he still has made shady contact. THEY ARE NEVER DONE WITH THEIR OBJECTS.

[@cherrybacon3319]

I doubt mine will come back after I 'reacted abusively ' (more so than at any other time - you don't realise once you get going how hard it us to stop because all you see is the hurt and pain and the "Why does he do this to me?") towards h8m. Nor if it means going out of his way to get the attention he wants from me, like coming all the way over here to knock on my door or post a note. No, he'll be too self-absorbed and lazy for that. And it'll be his way of trying to reverse hoover me. 🍒

[@chelselangaigne]

this video my ex is everything he broke up with me cause my kid father came at my place to drop of stuff for his daughter lol this is so unbelievable i cant say hi to a guy neither make eye contact with a guy he will think i want him he was in and out but when i told his mom about y he not talking to me boii that wasd worst he really ended after that about i talk to many he was way to controllin and wud want me to do all his work even if i have mines to do an i have to do all im actually happy im getin along with my new life hope i dont take him back

[@ragingphoinix9144]

I found out there wasn't just other women, there were men, trans women....they have no boundaries, no shame...I don't even care that he attempts to try. He's absolutely disgusting to me. You can't come back from the lies, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the cheating.....They hate themselves so they need to make everyone else feel the same, and they will spend their whole lives doing this. They're absolutely shit people. I thought I wanted to play the game...now, I just want peace. I can't get the time back that he stole, but he can't steal my life any more.

[@777JESUSISLORD71]

Found my x narc looking at shemale porn. They are demon possessed with the spirit of perversion,and many other demons

[@user-kcrpine]

A man was intimate with other men and trans people… and you’re disgusted by it? Perhaps it’s you who needs with all that hate, lady.

[@user-kcrpine]

A man was intimate with other men and trans people… and you’re disgusted by it? Perhaps it’s you who needs with all that hate, lady.

[@ragingphoinix9144]

@user-kcrpine Honey, I'm straight. I like my men to be straight. Take that woke ass bs out here. Facts will still be facts no matter what you feel. If he wants to be gay, by all means. No reason to pose as one thing but actually be something else.

[@marie2928]

Caused mega injury he just called me after week( thought i blocked him everywhere) hate these losers

[@jenniferc7855]

Yeah. My narc is never coming back.

[@stepbystep5572]

I had not spoken to my ex narc in months. Out of the blue he text me and says, “So…. if you want to see Mosa. ( our dog ) you can.” I was not expecting this at all. I hadn’t reached out to him. I had gray rocked him. And he has known for two years that I have wanted to see the dog we shared. Why now after 2 years. So we texted a little bit and out of nowhere he just Abruptly stopped texting back. so I finish the conversation with, “ just let me know when you want to get together at the dog park so we can meet up”. He did not read the comment for six days and when he did read the comment, he did not respond. Was he just trying to see if he could still get me to react or respond to him? Was he trying to make me bag? Was he trying to see if he could still get a reaction out of me? I don’t get it. We have not talked in many months, so why bring this up now just to not follow through. Any thoughts? He knows I wanted to see my doggy and how much I missed her. When we split, he took one dog and I took another. He has shown no interest in even wanting to see the other dog we shared that I took. He never even asked about her. Maybe he just wanted to see if he could still get me to respond. In all actuality, it’s done nothing but piss me off even more. I am already prepared to not even respond to him when he reaches back out and offers again. He never meant or even planned on letting me see Mosa. I think it was a cruel game. I ain’t got time for that. I have already excepted the fact that I am never going to see her again.

[@stacey7268]

Mines come back several times in the past but for some reason I think it's different this time because he's "in love" with the one he ditched me for..its been little over 2 years now!

[@Bluesky-f2n]

I don't know if he is really a narc, because I new him for short time but he ghosted me 2 times. Now he came back after a month and I am wondering his intentions. He came to an event where we met first, did not talk to me but just observing me. Than he texted that he saw me. I want to text back but cautions....

[@csibiedit8046]

Methodes of coming back i you are going to shopping and suddently your ex is near you in this case try to find the nierest door . Appearing suddently at your workplace. Knowing your neighbours telling them that he wants to bring you some biscuits .Tthrough email : I will buy a house with three bedroom for you. Sending photos where he lost weigth,and photos where he is crying, . .Contacting your previous friend and offering him money , or trying to make a deal for you( buying you)..Threathening you , and inventing that you took from him a memory stick Your friends organizing a celebration where they invite your ex . Trough your workplace offering you a dreamjob in his city..

[@naazilyas5708]

My convert narcissist broke up in the most brutal way and took time till the end of this year to return some of the money he owes me. What does this mean and what should I do?

[@devarodgers4676]

if you got no cash left give a narcissist peaches

[@sophiestanza]

My ex narc has tried to bait me by writing me his long, false narrative of our relationship but I’m still going strong no contact. Does silence hurt the narc the most or should I tell him his narrative is wrong?

[@Hanka1981]

He had a GF for 1 1/2. The worst part is that he is my brother in laws best friend and my nephew’s godfather so he’s in my orbit. It’s torture

[@debral9651]

Hmm I did try to be friends at first but he used it as another opportunity to breadcrumb and inflict more pain as we had mutual female friends he would visit in person but only text me. In one way it was good because it exposed more lies to me that he had said to other women. Many women friends he had said knew about our relationship in fact had no idea that we had been together for years. It pushed me to block after finding that out.

[@miabailey2798]

This is 100%%%

[@HopeFaithExpect77]

She, covert narky, discarded me 5mos ago by a text for "her one true love" she groomed for months prior ending an 8yr relationship. She wont come back cause way it ended. Plus shes a huge coward & smearing my name online still.

[@daeclipse03]

Mine came back wanting to be sex friends a month ago not in a relationship as she was seeing someone new and just wanted to cheat on him with me. I told her exactly how i felt about her behavior and the way she treats others and she wont talk to me ever again.

[@BeenThereDoneThat94]

She was trying to triangulate her new supply with you, screw those demons

[@moments2photos929]

Question Ben, out of all the people you coach, what percentage of “narcs” never come back vice Vera.

[@RawMotivations]

I would guesstimate that I speak to 95% survivors, 5% narcissists and .5% come back for a second meeting. oops you weren't asking that exactly. Narcissist coming back to you I would say is around 98% from what I have seen.

[@hussainjawad6990]

Thanks a lot my name is Zara Williams trans-women can you talk about psychopathic personality disorder when he comes back and karma on him please?

[@kalingakrishna2705]

Ben, my narcissistic friend manipulated me with the agenda of making me marry his sister. He had idealized me in such a way that I hoovered him after he discarded me. Now that I have gone completely no contact with him, I would like to know if he will hoover me.

[@RawMotivations]

he will, not now, but one way or another

[@kalingakrishna2705]

@@RawMotivations Ben, please tell us the tell tale signs that a narcissist is about to come back!

[@kalingakrishna2705]

@@RawMotivations Ben, will he hoover me, even after his sister has married a muslim man?

[@Skmskmskm]

Unfortunately for me I am still attached to my cheating lying abusive husband. Since I have called police on him due to domestic violence I don’t think he will be one who comes back. What are your thoughts in if he would?

[@carlosclemons7715]

When minds do come back I’m going to make her pay and regret that she left me because she’s going to a whole new and different man

[@visancosmin8991]

The bad news for you is that she doesn't care.

[@jaclyncameron1137]

Where's your video to block on social media after they've blocked you?

[@RawMotivations]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gqqknoqVbtOXgck

[@JessCyph]

Did you care about your wife when you were cheating on her? It’s so easy to depersonalize narcissists, but they are human beings with unrealized, unmet childhood needs for true love and connection, both of which require an authentic self. You turned around for a reason, as I believe many narcissists would at least try to do under the right circumstances. Have you done a video on what you believe caused your narcissism? I would be curious to know.

[@visancosmin8991]

When you give them true love they rage at you. So nope, I don't think they want any love.

[@amysandstrum719]

The absolute weirdest thing was that after we broke up he blocked me on fb. But he had a profile he made of my dog on my fb. He created it a year ago so I had totally forgotten about it. He scrubbed all the data from the profile so I wouldnt see who it was but I could still see the profile name (MaxtheDog). He deactivated and reactivated it several times a day. I know this because I found out when he was contacting me that he knew facts about me that only people who were my friends would know. So I figured he must have access to my fb so i checked through my friends list of people I didnt know and maybe were fake profiles. I dled an app to see who added me/deleted me (fb purity app) and it would log everytime this profile would deactivate and activate. So I counter blocked him and then he called me up asking me WHY I BLOCKED HIM. Im like WHAT you blocked me and youre asking why I blocked you back? He asked if I had blocked him so I could move on and date otehr guys lmao When people tell you to go NC with a narc, they forget to tell you to block anything you had in common with them and on all platforms. They are snakes and sleuths and have experience with all of this weird spy shit cause theyve done it before.

[@amysandstrum719]

and yes i confronted him about it and he said he only kepyt it so he could see if i was talking shit about him or not.