Will Mental Fitness Defeat Mental Illness?

** The Rainbow Alpaca T-Shirt is available and it is wondrous: www.thetoolkit... **
If you're trying everything to get rid of thoughts and feelings and intrusive whatevers, consider that's only teaching the brain to give you more of the stuff you hate. Fighting a battle against brain stuff IS losing the battle. It's time to walk off the battlefield and give your time and energy to things you want to keep in your life.
You can grab the book I wrote thanks to these skills, YOU ARE NOT A ROCK, wherever books are sold, like here on Amazon: bit.ly/youareno...
(It's called THE MIND WORKOUT in the UK and Australia/New Zealand, DAS MIND-WORKOUT in Deutsch, ENTRENA TU MENTE en español)
Learn more about what I do here: www.markfreeman.ca
Check out my travel mental health blog: www.themindful...
Connect on any of these:
Twitter: / thepathtochange
Instagram: / markwfreeman

[@stankylegg72]

This might be the most underrated mental health video on KZbin

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks!

[@adamrosefire]

My takeaway: to heal mental health, forget about mental health. Find things that you’re interested in and put a great deal of energy into them. Ask what you would like to give to the world.

[@Deathhead68]

Something that I found helpful too with this stuff is the weird fear that if I don't address these thoughts with compulsions, I am somehow 'repressing them'. But really, by choosing not to engage in compulsions I'm doing the opposite, and accepting them.

[@beckynovack7370]

Yes! This is something that trips me up too! I really appreciate your perspective.

[@lilmissbeats]

I love how Mark always seems mildly amused with the absurdity of the brain and how it traps us.

[@fenyxvalerii2826]

Right ❤

[@user-lg7nt7ww4z]

Me too..but He didn’t start that way. He went through the pain and now smiles at the pain/sorrow which has turned the pain off

[@dann8558]

This seems like the key mindset shift from moving past poor mental health and towards self-actualisation! I've definitely had an 'I can't do x because of y' for a long time . And my brain will always create or find a new y.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It is such a creative brain! It has no problem finding a new thing we need to clean and fix before we're allowed to live our lives

[@dann8558]

It's so true! It's so funny that its just a dance you can do over and over until you decide to do something different and focus on walking towards what you want. Thanks so much man for your insights.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@dann8558 😁🙌

[@theboogie_monsta]

Fighting compulsions and avoidance - the contamination mindset - "I will not be able to live my life properly because of these imperfections, I must remove them first." Instead, start heading toward your goals, even in the presence of imperfect feelings or experiences. Trying to get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, this IS the problem. The opposite of a compulsion is acceptance. Acceptance is not something that we need to "do", it is just letting go of the rope, not worrying about it, kind of lazy. Let your life goals be the 'exposure therapy' - just get up and do what it takes to head in the direction you choose. Even in seemingly small areas of life - like making eye contact, holding conversations, writing to friends, spending time with others - accept, be present, no need to fix anything first or worry or avoid. If you're lucky enough to live with some other people, then try it right now! Go make eye contact! Tell them what's going on for you! Tell them your plans!

[@sabayasmeen2522]

Wowww you just explained it so beautifully thnks😢

[@Miltonbosss]

A couple weeks ago I was super anxious commenting on your videos about understanding compulsions and what was and wasn’t one. But I have realized that it’s THAT problem solving that is part of the problem. That, being uncertain.. is ok. I don’t have to “figure” it out. I don’t have to be 100% certain if I’m “doing it right”. Or like your book says trying to meditate to get rid of that negative feeling. I’ve been using meditation now more instead of an escape, as a means to embrace myself in that uncertainty and being myself to the present moment. That if thoughts I don’t like are there or not. I can keep living presently. I can be happy. And whether or not that helps these “bad thoughts” go away. Then great. If not. Then great. I will love me regardless. Great book!

[@reezy88]

“If we define success as defeating experiences we hate, then we make experiences we hate necessary for happiness in life” Holy shit 🤯 Yes!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's so useful to help with navigating towards useful goals!

[@angelaaleman7787]

Makes such perfect sense! Thank you for this video. I guess if you focus on what you value rather than extinguishing the fears revolving around what you value (in my experience OCD attacks what you value most in creating/focusing on fears around that), then through positive action those fears kind of fade away or are more like background noise? I'm doing my best to take positive actions rather than give in to avoidance/compulsions.

[@sabayasmeen2522]

Can you plz tell me what are those positive actions

[@makaniistorm8664]

So it’s acceptance with not just “intrusive” thoughts but also the judgement and compulsions because it’s all the experience. So it’s not “I don’t want to do this compulsion, I want to go talk to my friends” It’s “I’m going to talk to my friends” without making it about the compulsions. Thus you’re not indulging in the cleaning compulsion

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yes! It is so useful to recognize this.

[@makaniistorm8664]

@@everybodyhasabrainAnd we can engage with the things we love in the same way what we did with what we hate but in a positive way?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@makaniistorm8664 I don't understand what you mean by that.

[@makaniistorm8664]

@@everybodyhasabrain You know how we placed alot time and energy with the judgements and compulsions, “I have to fix this” when we distance from that and shift to what we value, we could start placing energy into that “Im going to make this thing happen”

[@makaniistorm8664]

@@everybodyhasabrain And also, I just want to get this out of my system because it’s bugging and I know it seeking reassurance. But you said all of our brain stuff that we want to get rid of is our experience and they were normal. Now I have going in my head “It’s okay, what you did was normal.” trying to reassure the uncertainty that what I did was wrong. This is another compulsion right? I should not get hung up on this

[@yaboysamshep1470]

Thank you for this video been struggling with moral scrup and real event almost a year now and this is one of the most helpful videos , I’m giving up and walking off the battlefield, I can’t mentally do it anymore , I’ve wasted so much energy mentally and physically , it’s time to walk off

[@Owen-zn8rt]

Thank you so much. This is literally life changing.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy the exploring and growing ahead!

[@elnico6937]

you are a genius!!! thank for all your work! and beautiful smile!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for watching and the kind words!

[@buzzbuzz20xx]

Hey I recently discovered your videos and they are the best things ever i can't express how much I love them and I'm very happy that you're still making intrusive thoughts videos

[@peacefulpisces5336]

Thank you Mark.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@marisolsantiago3767]

Love it! Thank you!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Marisol! :)

[@RE_Prince_Vegeta]

Hey Mark! I’m new to your channel, and you have no idea how much this video hit home for me. This was literally the mistake I was making. My entire life, I celebrated difficulties I overcame. And I would even do innocent things like watch my fave anime character defeat a monster in battle, and I would relate to it being me defeating my current challenge. Well…that’s fine and all, but NOT for OCD. As soon as I had finally healed from months of grueling ERP, I made a huge mistake of celebrating the victory and basing everything in my life on that battle I just won. It…made me relapse, and it brought new intrusive thoughts. Which had me do ERP all over again. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this. I now know what was my mistake. Thank you! Quick Question, so I def don’t want to base my anime and video game motivational stories anymore on me overcoming my OCD….should I find a different goal like, gym goals, and go back to basing my anime and gym motivation on that instead? That’s something I’ve done my whole life. Base anime and video game characters I love and have them motivate me to workout harder. Will I be safe to basing self motivation and victories on that instead? I learned my lesson a very bad way with basing my joy on me overcoming the OCD battle :P

[@itsalltooeasy2329]

im better than what i was ,really . in the back of my mind ik what im thinking is stupid but because i got caught in my past experiences the fact that im still vulnerable makes me scared . i noticed when i just stopped caring about it all and not give a damn its just went away slowly , themes would change on a daily basis tho , but i just stopped caring .

[@kabirsood5426]

This video was meta squared. Awesome!!

[@saraemily7397]

I love how you sneaked "snorting doughnuts" into that list. Lol. I haven't tried that one yet.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

There are always more solutions to try! :D

[@wepreferthis814]

Thank you!!

[@alcyonecrucis]

Your food one was helpful for me :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I'm glad it was helpful. I hope you're enjoying all the foods now!

[@olivep7920]

Very helpful video. Thank you Mark!

[@juyeesabade6236]

Hey Mark, hope you are doing well. I have watched a lot of your videos, and they have helped me. Ever since the start of this year, I keep finding myself struggling with different themes. Before it was just personal insecurities, then it was POCD, then Harm OCD, then sexual OCD, and a few more. I recently reunited with my boyfriend after one year of long distance, and now I am dealing with ROCD and HOCD, which is honestly very very exhausting. I really value my relationship and I hate having these uncertainties. But I see in your videos that I have to accept it. How do I accept these thoughts without fearing that I might fall out of love with my boyfriend or I might turn gay? This phase of my OCD is really really hard to go through. Please help me out.

[@marianaaa24]

I died laughing watching this video. I haven’t laughed that hard in 3 months. Thank you

[@khanhvo1675]

Hi Mark, first of all thank you for making all these video to help us out. I have sensorimotor ocd, and I want to know what the compulsions of this type are and how to cut it out. I hope you will reply.

[@toasted8432]

3:05 made me giggle

[@monjuruluddin9392]

Thing is I don’t know what I want too give… my mind is just full of so much randomness that doesn’t make any sense.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You get to pick something. It's natural we don't know what to give when all we've been chasing are compulsions. It's ok to borrow ideas from others.

[@stankylegg72]

This man has solved the Rubik’s cube

[@pompomkitty306]

Beautiful insight !🥰🥰🥰

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you Pom Pom Kitty!

[@WiWillemijn]

You can't show off the merch and then not put the link to it in the description:p

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Good point!

[@loveyourselfthewayyouwisht6654]

I am looking for a good professional training for ACT. Considering ones by Steven Hayes and Russel Harris as big names in the field, do you have recommendations? I am not a licensed, therapist, but am basically acting as one on the team I serve. Thanks!

[@ROHANKUMAR-oi6bw]

How do you resist the urge to do a compulsion, sometimes it gets hard and I feel the need to do a compulsion and think that the compulsion is good for me and will make life better for myself and those around me? Is it just about willpower to not engage in compulsions?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Do you want to stop listening to your brain? Or do you want to keep listening to those reasons it throws up? Something that helped me was keeping the focus on being unreasonable. The brain will always have logical reasons to do compulsions.

[@xXUrObOrOSXx]

Could you explain coping? How coping is bad? Say taking a walk to relax is bad?

[@WiWillemijn]

You can take a walk for different reasons. I think it is good if you give yourself a moment to relax, just because you want to give it to yourself. It puts taking care of yourself at the center. It is unhelpful though if you take a walk to get rid of a feeling, because it puts getting rid of a feeling at the center.

[@theboogie_monsta]

Coping is when we have a feeling, experience, thought etc that we don't like, and we try to do something to replace it, improve it, fix it. Usually, this negative feeling is the consequence of a pattern of avoidant behaviours, and compulsions, such as ruminating. So, instead of not ruminating, or not avoiding, which would lead to very positive outcomes, instead coping is turning toward some source of short term pleasure. It still puts 'the problem' at the centre of everything, and still cuts you off from life. In terms of taking a walk to relax - this would be coping if the reason you're not relaxed is because all day long you've been avoiding certain things, people, topics, etc, and engaging in various other compulsions, like checking, ruminating. Going for a walk is not really going to address these behaviours, and any relief you feel is likely to be short lived. Similar with drinking alcohol, looking at porn, other famous coping strategies. They're just different ways of struggling with experiences, rather than having them.

[@patricksmith7529]

Mark I just wanted to ask, does medication only work if you do cbt along with it? Like I was taking some medication before, but I was taking it with the hope that it would make me better without cbt. Should I try cbt along with medication to see if that works? Thanks

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Improving mental health requires changes. If you just take some medication and leave everything else the same, there's no particular reason you'd see a change. It may also be that your definition of "better" is just more of the compulsions. For example, people do a lot of compulsions to try to get rid of thoughts and feelings. If you were trying to use medication to get rid of thoughts and feelings, how is that different from somebody who does a cleaning ritual to get rid of thoughts and feelings? It would naturally just fuel more of the same. Working on my mental health involved me making changes and doing things differently, inside and outside of my head.

[@MandyWoodArtist]

@@everybodyhasabrain BRILLIANTLY PUT!!!

[@bobbill2587]

Mark do you have any tips on resisting compulsions? I'm trying to do erp but the urge to do a compulsion gets so high, especially during times of stress or when something bad happens . Is there any tips you have to help with resisting compulsions?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It could help to ditch the idea of "resisting". Compulsions are choices we do. They don't happen to us. It's like asking for tips on how to resist hitting yourself in the face with a frying pan. So I'd instead look at making it easy to choose a different activity while experiencing anxiety/ urges. It'll also help to ditch the story of the urge being "so high". It's just a totally normal human brain at work. It's the same experience we've all had to welcome while cutting out old compulsions and choosing more useful actions.

[@emilymwaki7375]

If you want to learn swimming, you join a swimming group…. not a ‘support against drowning’ group. 😅🐍🐉 Yes to groups that don’t require you having monsters to slay! “Checking isn’t involved in nourishing ourselves well. What’s at your center? What do you want to grow for yourself and the world?” 🐥 Thank you Mark. This was really deep.

[@arfajmind2984]

I did quit school for my obsessions

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Now you have an opportunity to NOT practice compulsions like that.

[@ROHANKUMAR-oi6bw]

Mark I feel I have made progress, but at times I doubt whether what I'm doing is right, and I feel the urge to start again fresh, and whenever something bad happens I think im not doing things right. Is it just up to me to willfully not start again, and just keep accepting these stresses and accept when things dont go right? For example someone got angry at me today and it just makes me doubt my whole recovery and whether I'm secretly doing things badly or not? Is it just up to me to accept all this? I'm trying, but the doubt gets very high and I feel I can't take it at times.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Life is not a video game. Neither is building mental health skills. There's no starting fresh. I don't know what you could start again. That sounds like a typical compulsion. I also find it helpful to not see recovery as any kind of thing. We're just humans practicing skills. Recovery can't get contaminated or wrong. It doesn't exist. There's just a human having experiences and learning skills.

[@blakejohnson8639]

Maybe I’m missing something but becoming a work-a-holic would likely develop after someone tries to avoid facing their issues head on. This video did not gel with me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's not what this is about at all. In fact I'd say that the person who stays on the battlefield is avoiding their issues. Often that work of doing compulsions over and over again to fix some superficial fear is to avoid the fear of living our lives. We hope that by getting some brain stuff perfect, that we then won't fail, or we won't experience rejection, or we won't experience pain and struggle. When we turn towards life, we'll often notice our fear of death is there, our fear of loss, our recognition of vulnerability. Staying on the battlefield with our brains is where people become a work-a-holic around mental stuff, spending hours and years of free labor cleaning thoughts and feelings instead of doing more useful things like enjoying tea and donuts and trees.

[@makaniistorm8664]

Ah. Positive and Negative reinforcement. Even if approach mental illness positively “I will show it kindly that it’s safe.” in the aim of lessening the experience, still reinforces the behaviour and judgment to change. Your focus is still on your mental illness and not fully on mental fitness. I don’t understand though why the brain would keep throwing up anxiety and doubt just so it can have that work done to it again and again. Just stop throwing the stuff up.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It's just an organ. You're the one that can make choices. You stop throwing down the compulsions and it can stop throwing up the disaster fun.

[@mahashrayasundararaman1562]

FIRST