Will She Leave Her Husband for Me?

[@Taylormademan900]

The main problem is the caller believes the married woman is his girlfriend but he is just a side dude for the married woman.

[@hollaceparadis6591]

To the point!!!!!

[@cmfitz4210]

W​@@hollaceparadis6591

[@SilverToes756]

Or a rebound

[@ibabymomx3]

Boy toy

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

ABSOLUTELY.. but she may be hoping he can help her out of a perilous situation.. hopefully he won’t be a victim in the process!!!!

[@smustipher]

NO. NO. NO!!!! A married woman has been flirting with me for some time and I came to the conclusion that there is NOTHING GOOD that can come from a situation like this. First, she just wants attention and to feel like she still "has it". Second, I don't want to deal with an angry husband who can become violent. Last, an unfaithful wife cannot be trusted. If you go with a woman who behaves like this, it is only a matter of time before you are the one getting cheated on.

[@limiwa]

Yep. Same thing goes for a single person who knowingly pursues or accepts the advances of a married person. Both have questionable morals.

[@smustipher]

@@limiwa yeah it was creeping me out. I blocked her.

[@kind2423]

Exactly it’s common sense.

[@FourSeasons04]

Finally someone who gets it...a cheater, liar, and manipulator is no prize.

[@mimimonster]

You’re a smart man who is clearly very secure. You saved yourself a world of pain and problems.

[@kimberlysmith7625]

"She'll cling to you until the smoke clears". Dr. Delony is spot on. Once she is divorced and free to see whomever she chooses, she'll drop you like a hot potato bc you'll no longer serve a purpose for her. You'll no longer be her life preserver once she reaches the shore. Heed the advice and run away from this.

[@rustyshackleford6637]

At least he can smoke that ass

[@WVgrl59]

True

[@Senza_1]

I think the "smoke" in this situation is emotions. She is going through a hard time and once she stabilizes she will realize she doesnt love him and move on

[@liepa7768]

I doubt she's even going through divorce. Her husband probably thinks they're marriage is ok and has no idea about the affair

[@dr.bradshaw]

Bro, I’m 31. I’ve been there and DONE THAT. I got mind F’ed by a 36 year old married bombshell model that I absolutely fell HARD for. I was 19 and lost my virginity to this woman and she took my mental health for a hellacious ride. This affair lasted 6 years and she told me time and time again that she would leave her husband for me and was “planning it” all while I patiently waited and WASTED my youth and passed up so many possible healthy relationships with women my own age. This woman still do this day 12 years later is still married to the same guy and there has been times in recent years where she reached out again, and I blocked her right away. I am SO HAPPY this woman didn’t ruin her family for me. Relationships that begin on affairs statistically NEVER work. I have since met the love of my life and am finally engaged and in a healthy loving REAL relationship. RUN from this woman. Get out. Save your soul. Chances are she is a full blown narcissist

[@mimimonster]

I am sooo sorry. I hope you’ve learned a lot and are in a healthier place!! Hindsight is always 20/20. Glad guys like you can testify to help guys like this caller. Man, he’s screwed if he can’t get out of this.

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

If she’s able to reach out on email it means you haven’t blocked her. Nice to put “the love of your life” through that

[@dr.bradshaw]

@@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl before you judge, I have blocked her. But ya know there is this thing where people can make or have multiple email accounts. Each time she reached out, she got blocked so how about you just stfu.

[@Geotubest]

Bravo. Thoughtful insight.

[@sueblack5794]

Bro that age difference was very sketchy & maybe predatory. Be careful of ever inviting her back at all into your life. this woman may not be safe.

[@suzannelabatt9151]

I taught my daughters this: If he will do it with you, he will do it to you.

[@nessparadis6948]

You taught them right

[@helena20000]

👍

[@buuny2233]

The Anne Bolyen effect

[@gregordvs]

It's not always true. I have parents who were unfaithful and are now both remarried (30+ years) to their partners who led to the break up.

[@jjminor]

@@gregordvswere both unfaithful or just one?

[@limiwa]

I had a former friend who cheated on her first husband multiple times with multiple men. They divorced, she remarried and her new husband was aware of what happened in her first marriage, but didn't seem to care. Three kids and over a decade later, she cheated on him too. I'm not usually one to say "once a cheater always a cheater" because I do believe in redemption and forgiveness, and I know several people who cheated once and never again ... but unfortunately it IS true of some people. Guard your hearts. Also, why would you knowingly date/sleep with a married person? That says something about him as well. Not a good way all around to begin a relationship.

[@BarnzTT]

Because damaged people attract other damaged people.

[@georgewagner7787]

And shame on him for having children with her. Now they suffer

[@castiel4746]

not all by 99% of people once a hoe always a hoe

[@aries4901]

Once a cheater always a cheater!!

[@snowmiaow]

Nobody is perfect

[@gwenj5419]

This is not dating. It's adultery. Also, divorce is a process. Separation isn't. The only process is her just trying to decide what she's going to do (assuming she really wants to change anything about her current situation.)

[@SRHawk08]

I think I need more information. If she has filed for divorce and they are no longer living together I don’t see the problem. Divorce is a slow process, mediation can take years if you’re dealing with an impossible person. In my state you have to do mediation then get a court date and wait for a judge to sign off then there is a 6 month waiting period and then ur legally divorced…but ur financially single the day u file for divorce, any money made or property that is bought after filing is no longer communal property or added into alimony. So if ur financially single and no longer live together why wouldn’t u be considered single and going threw a divorce

[@gdaymates431]

People say drugs are the worst thing to happen to people. I think chemistry is also a horrible thing to happen to humans. It totally clouds all judgement. I say this as someone finally realising I've been led on for 6 months because of chemistry. It made me absolutely delusional!

[@trishasurangana2278]

I empathize. 😢

[@snowmiaow]

Agree completely

[@branch621]

"The person you have feelings for right now woke up in the bed of another man" lol the cold hard truth 😂😂

[@BlueDauntless]

That was brutal.

[@JacobGonzales-eo5dz]

Not just another man Her husband whom she spoke vows to bro

[@TheLamba444]

Isn't there enough single women in the world? She will do the same thing to him.

[@MsFBell]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@saraliburd7752]

ARENT there-women is a PLURAL WORD 🥴

[@ethancramer1175]

What does that even mean?@@saraliburd7752

[@anthonybrown06]

Bruh

[@mrsbobanna]

They're probably not as hot as she is

[@WatchMeLearnIt]

As a fellow 26 year old male, PLEASE give this lady up. Even if she's amazing and all in, this is going to take away so much of your 20s. Don't spend this time on a woman who doesn't have the decency to separate and then start dating. You will 100% waste this time in your life if you do.

[@Contrarian-v7p]

A 25 year old woman, thanks for the reminder. I was tempted to throw the rest of my 20s away thinking the best years were already over but this is a good reminder to be careful.

[@littleripper312]

​@@Contrarian-v7psomething you dont realise as a woman in her 20s is that life is actually way better in your 30s. Society likes to say your 20s are the best and womens lives are over at 30 but its not true. You wont understand until youre older but its better so dont worry about wasting your 20s.

[@Contrarian-v7p]

@@littleripper312 I'm turning 26 in like 4 days and am teetering on the edge of a full blown quarter life crisis. This was such an encouragement. Thank you!

[@thenorthface4]

I’m going to share my story and I hope this reaches someone in the middle of an affair… my soon to be ex husband and I were together 5 years, owned a home together and got married. I had no idea that he was cheating on me with another married woman for 3 of the 5 years of not longer. He had her over in our home when I wasn’t home (she left things in our home). He spent our entire savings on her and this girl thought she was so special. This resulted in me getting my heart broken, an expensive divorce, he has to sell our home (I moved out because of abuse) and he is ordered to repay me half of what he spent on his affair. Why is screwing around with a married person worth ruining your marriage and ruining someone else’s life… They cheated on their partners to be with you, they will cheat on you too…

[@Lauren-i8i]

😮💔🤯💗

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

@@thenorthface4 I’m so sorry you had to go through that.. stay positive, it’s not easy, I know.. but there’s someone much more suited to you than that loser.. BIG HUGS to you.. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@David-nu6kw]

Very sorry to hear that. There are good men out there, just as there are good women. Not easy to find life has taught me.

[@thenorthface4]

@@David-nu6kw thank you! 1 year later and it’s crazy how much I’ve healed and how far I’ve come. I absolutely believe the world is full of good men and women! I never knew what peace looked like until not too long ago. It’s glorious 😁

[@thenorthface4]

@@Kathy-qu8zj thank you! I’ve come a long way and healed so much since all of this. One of my family members brought him up the other day on accident and I said “who”? We had a good laugh. While I will never understand affairs and why people have them, I can safely say I’m so much happier and in a peaceful place now

[@alyross2850]

I never believe when someone says they are getting divorced. Not that they aren’t going to, but that the spouse knows about it. I’ve seen it too many times. How can you expect a good relationship to come out of this rot?

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Divorces also take several years. Like 2 or 3. I'm going through a divorce rn and I can honestly say that we have ended things emotionally and physically for about 8 months now. But the betrayal is still valid, it still exists. Someone literally left their family for someone else. Whether or not the couple are still sexually active, who wants to be a part of the destruction of a family?? I know my ex husband has a long life of regret coming his way.

[@Lauren-i8i]

@@berlizgonzalez6736💔😢💗

[@Lauren-i8i]

@user-eq1cv5ou4vThere’s a huge difference between saying they are separated, being legally separated and bonafide divorce. It’s shocking how a guy can REPEATEDLY look a woman straight in the face & say he is separated & SWEAR he is getting divorced when it is 100% a lie. I’ve seen this on tape with my own eyes. These guys know how to hook a woman so that they get what they want (sex / validation / attention.) They lie because it works. They lie to EVERYONE- including themselves. They don’t even have to be a high level Narcissist (Covert or not) to be this messed up. They are quite often your garden variety ‘nice guy’ who has grown distant from his Wife but still thinks he ‘loves’ her. Often he meets someone at the office, says they are ‘just friends’ and steps onto the slippery slope to an affair that is almost imperceptible - It’s one small choice at a time that leads to ‘suddenly’ being in over their heads & drowning. And they’ll both think it’s great until is ALL turns bad (most of the time it never works out & can even end in horrific burning flames.) The vast majority of cheaters DON’T want to lose half their assets, retirement fund, pension, to go through a court battle, be the bad guy who blew up the family, split time with his kids and possibly wreck his relationship with them (since he hurt their Mother so badly.) Usually the cheater wants to maintain the picture of the white picket fence with his long term marriage & Wife standing next to him while having his piece on the side (whom he most likely will never truly commit to - why buy the Cow if he can get the milk for FREE?) The fact is, affairs hurt EVERYBODY and they rarely end well. The enemy came to steal, kill & destroy. What better way to do this than with an affair? 💔

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@berlizgonzalez6736 are you going through a divorce or are you divorcing somebody? Those are two different things. If he’s divorcing you then yeah you’re going through a divorce but if you’re divorcing him then you’re not not going through a divorce he’s going through a divorce.

[@Emmkay0715]

@@tigernotwoods914what? 😅 they're not two different things, getting a divorce is getting a divorce, it's not "I'm divorcing you and you're going through a divorce"..you're both going through it together. That doesn't even make any sense

[@lks5846]

Love how Dr John is honest with people. That’s what people need in those times of confusion

[@David-wo9un]

I love that Dr. Delony mentioned the fact that she is going home and sharing a bed with her husband; if that doesn’t get him to stop nothing will. How will he feel when the same thing happens to him when she looks for something new? I guarantee this will happen.

[@kutieluvsmj7]

Not every WIFE sleeps in the same bed. I’m married and have my own room 🙄

[@imenehaddad2860]

Dr. John has the patience of a saint listening to this day in and day out and having these conversations. God bless

[@hadenanderson563]

Saints don't get money and notoriety.

[@marymurphy1226]

Some women get off on doing this. The excitment is in the cheat. They will never leave their spouse.

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

The EGO BOOST is EXHILARATING

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

Especially with a younger man.

[@labmitch]

From Personal experience with a woman like that; I would tell BRAD to run. She is still cheating on her HUSBAND after twenty five years after my involvement with her. She was also having other guys while with me. She came to me saying he was abusive. Found out later that she was hitting him and he pushed her off and she got a scrap mark so it wasn't really him but her starting it

[@aelh123]

Bard : “I try not to think about it “ Dr. D: “What that she sleeps with ANOTHER man ?” 😂🤣 Dr Delony keeping it 💯

[@JakeStewart1343]

He's a cuk and probably likes the thought 🤷‍♂️

[@larissabrewington9065]

I like how Dr D repeats that so that it digs in emotionally cause this guy needs to get mad to get out of this and stop being a dope!

[@poshpearls23]

That had me on tears 😂😂😂

[@SilverGirlAu]

I will never get over how delusional cheaters are... their ability to block out reality and lie to themselves (and others) is incredible... this advice was spot on - run... fast... in the opposite direction... and be honest about your role in getting involved and not respecting the boundary of someone else's marriage... so that you don't repeat it in the future...

[@MelissaSusan1997]

“For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol” Proverbs 5:3-5 NASB

[@Lauren-i8i]

👏👏👏

[@rrrjt]

Thank you for speaking truth.

[@shawnboahene5231]

Amen

[@texuztweety]

Never date someone who isn't 100% single. Fully divorced and no longer living with Ex Spouse

[@araceliramirez7315]

💯💯

[@swoodc]

This is unfortunately true

[@lindasteinkamp1999]

Feeling the chemistry means it's lust.. Nothing long term.

[@goated4eva]

You have no business talking to someone else's spouse. This ends badly 100% of the time.

[@MaMa-jh6bb]

A relationship’s foundation needs to be built on trust and honesty, and that’s already not there.

[@Lauren-i8i]

AMEN!

[@AllynHin]

Anyone that would cheat *with* you would have no problem cheating *on* you. Separated is still married and if she's going home to her husband, she isn't 'separated.' I'll bet her husband has no idea that they're supposed to be 'separated.'

[@garfieldGG]

Don’t date married people. It’s in bad taste and it’s generally a bad idea. Like literally anything, sure a small minority of times it can work, but just a bad idea.

[@sueblack5794]

Heck don't even newly divorced people either. They are rushing into a relationship without caring one bit about you or haven't done the work they need to do to change what contributed to their marriage ending. there are two sides to a divorce.

[@Emmkay0715]

⁠@@sueblack5794I'm sorry, what? You're perpetuating this idea that every newly divorced person hasn't processed their marriage ending until it actually ends, are you aware of how many spouses grieve their marriage before it even ends? Like...that's so ignorant to say. Divorce can take YEARS. I'm 2.5 years deep into mine and have I done the work? Yes. Am I processing things still? Of course, it takes forever like I said, so you get over one hurdle and come face to face with another. But that doesn't mean I don't have the ability to care for another person because somehow my marriage ending "taints" me in your mind. We're not people who others need to be afraid of, and it's absolutely disgusting that you're sitting here putting all of us divorcees into the same pool and claiming we're all out here to fake relationships with people and use them to get over our marriages. Fact of the matter is, a lot of divorces happen when one or both people have checked out from their relationship. They've come to terms with enough to be able to let go, and they move on. That doesn't mean they're not worthy of a new beginning while going through the process. I think it's incredibly insensitive to assume all that you have..maybe do your research before blabbing a bunch of uneducated nonsense.

[@marietgagliardi]

​@@sueblack5794I was single for 10 years and the few times I accepted dates from recently divorced men, it was very clear they were still dealing with fall out from the ex. They either were looking for solace or were perpetuating patterns from their ex.

[@marietgagliardi]

​@@Emmkay0715this long winded rant sounds like someone still dealing with a divorce. All we are saying is people generally need some time to heal after a divorce

[@brendareyes3207]

Even if that 2% does work ..there’s always consequences and nothing is never the same again

[@holsen8269]

Good on this guy for calling Dr John, not easy knowing many other people will listen to his very awkward call. A blessing to any others facing a similar situation. Wishing him all the best for a future healthy relationship, at 26 there is still a lot of growing ahead, do it with someone who is truly free to love you.

[@David-wo9un]

I agree, but if you have no intention of listening to/considering the advice, the call is pointless. He will continue until she decides she can do better.

[@thorneto2742]

If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. Why cant guys understand this??? lmao

[@lk1869]

And women- I have a few stories watching my friends go down some bad decisions. Winning a cheater is NOT a win.

[@aladdout9454]

ariana grande??? hello...

[@fauxbro1983]

Cause of our penis taking control

[@90charim]

No not always! Every situation is not the same and that’s something we say as a mean to condemn or judge someone

[@NvrDieNvrSurrender]

It's because she's hot...

[@CarlosMartinez-hl7ko]

10 years ago I went through the same situation, ignored my common sense, and got burned exactly how John said it would go down. Run, brother!

[@pmbarro]

Please tell me about your situation. Unfortunately I'm going thru it right now.

[@castiel4746]

@@pmbarro Its simple stay away from 304s and cheaters, it is really not that hard, is just that peole like to complicate their lives, with stupidity.

[@lh1514]

Your own fault though. If you had any character or heart, you wouldn't be sleeping with someone else's spouse. Sick..

[@baysideharpy8350]

“I promise I’ll leave my husband/wife” is the oldest lie in the book. They never do.

[@fancynancy2888]

So true. As the old adage goes, promises are like pie crust, made to be broken.

[@aruglaempire2518]

@@fancynancy2888 If they leave, then the new "relationship" usually falls apart because it is based on lies and manipulation and has a dirty meeting story tied to it. It may take years but it will fall apart.

[@Lauren-i8i]

@@fancynancy2888 Marital vows are the greatest promise we’ll ever make and a sacred covenant that hopefully stands the test of time. Marriage is not ‘just a piece of paper’ & neither is the U.S. Constitution. But what matters most is that God saw this couple unite in marriage & we must honor our promises: For better / for worse - In sickness and in health. Commitment is staying when things get tough (barring abuse and / or infidelity.) 💕

[@blacksquid270]

Its cliche at this point but people still fall for it.

[@MajkenTrosborg]

True., but some of us were not told this when we were young and naive

[@wenchyfoodwench4098]

He’s morally bankrupt just like her. He deserves whatever pain he gets for intentionally dating a Married woman.

[@kevinmclaughlin3088]

Actually it sounds like he is having a ton of reservations. Sounds like he is an imperfect human being but he has a moral code that is eating away at him. No one is perfect.

[@lilred00051]

​@@kevinmclaughlin3088would you think that if it was your wife/husband he was hooking up with while you remained unaware?

[@onetwo8287]

isn't it better to date a woman who is already separated living in a different state from her husband but has not filed for divorce after 2 years of separation from her husband???

[@90charim]

And you deserve bad things to happen to you 10x’s fold to spill such negativity and hate toward ppl you don’t know! Who do you think you are!? God don’t like ugly so May it be returned to you smh

[@chukuemekaoje1015]

​@@onetwo8287not much better. At that point, she's still in a weird legal limbo. A plus... why no divorce after all that time. But the woman in question isn't even there yet. The caller said she's in the "process" of a separation 😅.

[@daphblue]

As a fellow 26 year old, if I started dating him and he told me that he dated a married woman for a little bit, I’d want out. Even knowing how complex it might have been. Just the truth 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@cesaravegah3787]

My respect for this man upped a couple of levels, the way that he avoied antagonizing him, how slowly demolished his excuses forcing him to imagine that woman sleeping with another Man, how relentlessly twisted the knife, offering a way to escape the pain, well done, well done indeed, he most probably saved this young man a lot of grief or worse.

[@bjkarana]

You see how much she values marriage, but John's metaphor about her survival cling being confused for a loving hug was spot on. End it now.

[@rustyshackleford6637]

I'm sure her doodoo hole has been hugging around his weenie

[@olufagosebambulagose]

I never stop appreciating how straight to the point and no BS John is. Never tells people what they want to hear, just what they need to hear.

[@christopherhammond3664]

The caller didn't know the correct follow up to "Living the Dream!" is: "Nightmares are dreams, too!" 🤣

[@Lauren-i8i]

🤣😂👍

[@SeanWatt89]

That's perfect

[@brightpage1020]

What the heck?!?! Why would you want a married woman?!? This never ends well. News stories are made of these types of things. If she does this to him now, you’ll never trust her when she’s with you. Incredible women are available but their level of integrity bores you. You need drama queen - you got it - but you won’t have the right to complain about the drama. That is a choice you are knowingly making, now.

[@shimmeringchimps3842]

​@@seanking1775Maybe you should try looking for them in places other than bars...

[@shrimpie69]

​@@seanking1775I'm one of those women; just working hard and doing my thing until I meet a guy I connect with. Are you bitter that we live in a paternalistic society that expects you to make the first move? That's cute 😊

[@brightpage1020]

@@shrimpie69 I agree. Some people have to blame others for their unwillingness to take responsibility for themselves or control over their lives. Now to address the young man troubled by loneliness or "lack of goid women": Quality young women can easily be found, in colleges or universities, building their educations or in the world building their careers and /or in their fathers' houses, with their families, if you dare approach. A good family is sociable to ensure their progeny can find a suitable mate. So check the country clubs and philanthropic parties. But I'd have something to bring to the table if I were you, like a good attitude and some confidence in yourself, let alone something to offer, like a charitable gift or token of you appreciation for the host. That is the protocol. Learn manners and begin attending. You won't be disappointed. Prepare now to attend sporting events, theater, lectures or seminars, music shows... And travel. Buy 2 - 4 tickets now for this season. Then, as soon as you meet her, you can be like, "I scored a couple tickets to [insert 1 of this weeken's events here]. Would you care to enjoy it with me?" With a slew of tickets you can ask like 2 - 4 women out per weekend and take your pick of which connection may be worth the next month's ticket. Or if you don't really connect well with one set, keep asking fresh faces you feel curious to get to know. Or ask a matchmaker. Or party planner to get you on a list. They set up parties specifically for this reason. Or just ask the elders of your circle if they know anyone available... Or would be willing to scout for you.

[@MMAAQQ123]

So he was in a relationship with someone when he met this married woman at martial arts classes. Why are we trying to talk sense into him? He clearly has none. He was chatting girls up at his karate classes and making himself seem available as well. He allowed himself to find chemistry and connect with another woman who also happened to be taken. They both deserve each other.

[@benw7881]

I went through the same situation. Johns right, it's so hard to let go, but it's the best thing you can do. You got to point your attention to something else, travel, gym or something.

[@BStudd1182]

Met a beautiful, wonderful woman last year that I hit it off with fantastically. She had my absolute undivided attention until she told me she was separated. I was so disappointed man because I’ve been there before too years ago where I got involved with a separated woman and it never ended well. Told her get your closure, cope and then maybe we can pick things up once that part of your life is over. I highly recommend every body else to do the same no matter how well you hit it off with that person. It’s a very high risk and dangerous situation waiting to unfold.

[@schanychamemphis1327]

John- you are good. you give good advice and try not to hurt feelings. Nice and thank you for adding kindness to this world.

[@kelseyomg5495]

I packed up my stuff and left my ex in 1 day. Didn’t have a home, insurance, or a job. If she wanted to leave she would leave.

[@Katprint]

Often the process of separation takes more than 1 day. However, anyone with normal self control can hold off starting their next relationship until they separate from their spouse even if that takes days, weeks or months.

[@snowmiaow]

Yes for people with no stuff

[@brightpage1020]

I know a gal like this. In college she ruined a whole tight group of pals that had been frat brothers together by running through like 4 of them in like a week. One of them married her and 20 years later at a friend’s funeral, with both of her young children and husband there, she still was trying to get with the other guys she had burned. Even the married with kids ones. After the event they talked about how embarrassing and shameful she was - that they felt sorry for her acting that way, and sorry for their old friend who remains married to her raising their kids. They’re great, amazing kids. The gal I knew really inspired love in all of her victims, very quickly, and hurt them so badly. It wrecked the whole group - partly their own fault for sure, but… weird. Heads up.

[@aelh123]

Yeah, there’s people that have a talent for being perceived as a victim, making those who care for her, have an immediate reaction to “protect”.

[@kuntakinte112]

Those guys are equally as nasty. Sleeping around as well

[@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord]

Lol, I wish I had that kind of talent at the tender age of 29 single af.

[@kuntakinte112]

@@SarahConnor562 real smart, here is a cookie for that brilliant statement.

[@dhritikapoor2897]

@@SarahConnor562 we are talking about human beings here , not locks and keys

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

“She’s in the process of a separation” LMAAAAOOOOOO sure 😉. I’m dating right now & on the apps when I see “separated” it’s an immediate red flag. I immediately remove that person from my matches

[@JKNat9004]

Yep!!! When that word comes up run like a cougar after a mouse in a windstorm.

[@meganchambers8108]

Also like, "she's separated but not divorced" is already bad, but "in the process of separating"?? Meaning she's just unhappy and doing nothing about it.

[@kutieluvsmj7]

Well to be fair she could easily put “ single” and u could EASILY fall for the trap lmaooooo

[@peterrhines1516]

good call

[@leannej.5310]

If she’s separated from her husband and heading to divorce, why are they still living together?

[@tiffany-sheriwageman.3702]

It can take a very long time in this young man needs to step away from this relationship that will not go anywhere in a positive direction.

[@curiousme113]

Financial reasons. My bffs grand parents got divorced and lived in the same house for many years. They slept in separate rooms but she still cooked most meals and did the cleaning worked a part time job for spending money and he worked and paid the bills including her car payment. When my friend finally graduated high school and got a job her grand paw moved out. It seemed to work for them

[@MichaelMyers-tg9uh]

Usually it's bcuz of financial reason's

[@proudatheist2042]

​@@curiousme113people will stay in situation ships and draining jobs because they are too scared to leave. Just because things appear to be ideal on the outside doesn't mean that everything is truly OK. People will stay in dysfunctional relatithat destroy them.

[@mirabella2154]

Delony was pretty blunt. I like that.

[@blacksquid270]

It'd be great if he was consistent with that bluntness when women call in.

[@clearinsight2696]

He's spot on, RUN 🏃‍♀️

[@brightpage1020]

Love Dr. D. Drills it in by repeating “that goes home to another man… that she’s sleeping in the bed with another guy….” The reality, though. The realities we don’t want to see…

[@drew2060]

Dr. DeLony is on point.

[@larissabrewington9065]

She didn't even tell him she was married at first! Come on!

[@mmmfun77]

Most people want what they can’t have. She isn’t going to leave her husband. Come here, stop. Come here, stop. I want you but I can’t . Round and round merry go round, where you start is where you end up. Nowhere. If you keep it up it won’t end well.

[@kathleencooney1518]

Run run as fast as you can. She’ll do it to you. She’ll be seeing another man anytime the going gets rough. And, marriage can be rough. If you are totally committed marriage gets better with the years. But it’s still rough at times and she isn’t the type to stick thru the hard times.

[@Mountainhippiedude]

If she's still going home to her husband, chances are he doesn't even know. A cheater isn't just a cheater, they are a liar too. And seriously dude, if she'll cheat on him to be with you, do you really think she'll be faithful to you? A cheater is a cheater, period.

[@whitneyw.7919]

These type of relationships rarely work even if she/he does "really love them". Divorce is very emotional and traumatic and it takes a lot of counseling, spiritual work, and just emotionally "doing the work" to unpack the experience to ever be good partner for anyone else. This takes minimum 1 year, probably more like 2-3 yrs. And most pple honestly never do this work and just bring all their crap to the next woman or man. Also then you get into the area of usually "blended families" which is usually an invite to make your life miserable unless the other parent is dead or completely uninvolved.

[@Lauren-i8i]

👏👏👏

[@susieq8008]

My first marriage was 16 looong years , and as I was going through a divorce i met my current husband. We have been together for 38 wonderful happy years. We were a team working together , and we still discuss our finances and life changes. I've loved this real man like no other.

[@brooksburnette7256]

Everyone is the hero of their own story.

[@shaunalea823]

My husband was legally separated when we started dating. There was no chance of reconciliation, no children between them, and no contact. It was clear it was truly over. We’ve been married almost 15 yrs. I had a lot of hesitation as I wasn’t going to be a home-wrecker.

[@kagnewcobra5228]

@@shaunalea823 LOL But you were! Like the previous comment "everyone is the hero of their own story". Gotta love that comment!

[@onetwo8287]

@@shaunalea823 -- even these situations often don't work.

[@onetwo8287]

@@ellenburke3698 -' so what. As long as the person is separated is involved only with their new person it should work. Of the separated person is a woman and they are dealing with a man who wants that woman amd is a "real" man then it ussually works especially if they are older like 50's.

[@juliaclaire89]

Dr. John is the epitome of truth & grace. Thank you for this. I pray for you Katie. May you find peace and eventually forgive yourself 💗

[@kathylovesmk]

You not only need to run, you need to analyze why you would choose someone unavailable. There's something you need to figure out.

[@alexsaam2696]

I live the way Dr John states situations in a manner that hit people in the gut and they know he is right. I would trust him with my life. Best therapist/friend a person could ever have.

[@coachclaudiawith_hope]

Daum!!! Applause Dr. John regarding the marital affair call. On point!! I had clicked on a practice vocal song and your subscription played instead. No coincidence. God was speaking loudly. Amen.

[@miranda13c]

“The process of going into a separation” lol either you’re separated or not.

[@fromheaventoearth5779]

Right lol

[@charlesderry5374]

John is right, these situations never ever work. Give her enough time and she will be with another guy behind this man’s back. I have seen it happen multiple times to people I know.

[@mike990]

She's not yours dude she never will be. I've been there. Unless ya'll are already hooking up, she'll leave him and get with someone else not named you. Shev enjoys your emotional attention, nothing more. Say goodbye if you have to then cut contact.

[@JENKEN425]

HE DOESNT WANT HER, HE IS JUST HAVI G FUN.

[@nkolemwaba2526]

I feel for him because your feelings for a person, together with their presence can confuse you and blind you from seeing that they don't care about your well being at all while you so deeply care about theirs

[@BlueSky-d7y]

The best advice I ever got. "Do not ignore red flags."

[@genelewis2481]

My ex left me for a guy at work and I always wondered why he wouldn’t look me in the eye. I wonder what it’s like to know you’re planning to F some guy over and ruin a family and can’t even look him in the eye.

[@Lauren-i8i]

100%. I feel your pain, Gene. 😢 Cheaters AND the Adulterous Partner will have to pay when they die & God shows them how much pain they caused. I’ve seen 100’s of Clinically dead people talk about what happened while they weren’t alive. YTube has even Medical Doctors confirming their deaths. We can’t get away with anything because God sees it ALL. Apparently, He records EVERY second of our lives! God says, ‘Vengeance is Mine.’ 💕

[@Lauren-i8i]

P.S. If you go to see your Spouse at work & someone has to just ‘wander in’ to meet you, TAKE NOTE. A.P.s are VERY curious about the Spouse. They want to know what you have that THEY don’t. ANSWER: The contract, the ring, the life insurance policy and the FAMILY. One can spot the A.P. when they act strangely around the Spouse & the vibes are SO ‘off’ you can cut them with a knife. These signs are EASY to dismiss! LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION, People! It’s smarter than YOU are! 💕

[@ibabymomx3]

Same experience I’ve had. But for my case, he left her and stayed with me.

[@ShelleyJane]

He should walk away until she's free. Where the emergency? If it's meant to be, she'll find her way to him. I've been in *her* situation. A guy saved me from a sh*tty situation where I was too immature and scared to deal with my emotionally abusive husband. I am forever grateful to the guy, as he was a catalyst to break me out, but John is so right about this.

[@evanwilkinson5354]

Been there for sure. Caused me nothing but absolute misery and heartbreak. Can’t build a relationship on dishonesty. They’ll never leave their spouse and if for some reason they do, guarantee they won’t commit to you. Ever.

[@Lauren-i8i]

What a Married Guy Usually Wants: 1. Attention. 2. Validation. 3. Sex. “I had an affair because she was AVAILABLE.” - A Cheater

[@Candace-M-]

The caller really loves being in this heroic romance where he's the guy who saves the woman from the man she "doesn't want to be with" anymore and they dwell together in these good chemistry feelings. He's waiting for the moment to be fully with her. But that's just fantasies in most cases. You can hear in his voice that he's torn up inside about it, but he's really struggling because he loves playing that role and getting the attention. Letting that go and snapping into reality is really hard to do, but it's what will get him back on a real path in life and bring him peace.

[@carstuff4u942]

John is SO RIGHT!! The caller won't listen, and that's the sad part.....

[@aries4901]

Why people in comments don't bash him the way they do women who cheat with married MEN. It feels like "poor guy" Dudes always get compassion NO matter what wrong THEY do.

[@NB-lx6gz]

I agree. Women are second class citizens sadly. Men aren't held accountable. "Oh no poor guy, evil married woman fooled him with her powers😢" my fucking ass. He gave a fucking platform for this. How about this hoe guy gets married one day and someone starts fucking his wife???

[@lohengrin4009]

They are bashing him, more so than her. I feel like you didn’t scroll through many comments.

[@sophiawish9772]

You were an easy target, sir. She put on the flirt and watched for who would respond.

[@mob9672]

People in that position know what they're doing, and they can be so good at it.

[@tommypauly3249]

Can only say this. Whether it is a situation like this or whatever, when i really need space, i will go in the woods or to a body of water, lake, pond, river whatever. I am by myself and just sit in a collapsible chair and think and sometimes talk to myself. How am i going to reconcile tis problem. Yeah. That's right, i talk to myself. When i was a young kid, my Grandfather told me something which at that time, i didn't understand. But as i got older i totally vould understand. He told me , if people could understand what really is important in llife, there would be a shortage of fishing poles. Now i know what is important in life., For me when i have a problem or not quite understand a situation, imhead to the woods or a river or lake, andjust work out the problem by myself. You know, i never under estimate being by myself. Does this make sense to you, or am i crazy? I would say crazy like a fox!!🤔😉👀

[@Lauren-i8i]

Tommy, This makes PERFECT sense. 👍 When I have serious problems in my life - I always go outside for a walk. People might think I’m talking to myself but I am praying and also sometimes dumping my concerns in a journal that I dictate to my GMail. Studies show that walking near trees lowers blood pressure & helps all kinds of biomarkers. Walking in the woods feels really good since God made it all & I’m trying to connect with Him, anyway. I suspect you THINK you’re walking alone but in my heart I know that you are NEVER alone. I hope you keep it up! 💕

[@blakeharrison3972]

She had medical issues she couldn’t share with her family but is on her husband’s insurance policy

[@JKNat9004]

Bingo!!👍

[@thesunandthemoon1]

Well done, Dr. D!!🎉 I absolutely agree with your insights on this call.

[@702prodigy]

if she cheated for you, she’ll cheat on you.

[@kathrynmoore2370]

Regardless of what she will do ...he is still in the middle of someones marriage. Think about the husband the family ...the hurt . How will this guy feel long term about his actions ..

[@charismaticcrafter3855]

Love the Gambler album🙂. Keep on “rockin,” Dr. John!

[@kevinmclaughlin3088]

oh man. oh man. Way to say it straight and put it in a way that he can understand "this is not okay".

[@Sunblock5K]

This is RAW, very smart advice and brilliant. Caller sounds like a great man who really cares about everything so much... He deserves so much better, she has the upper hand making these choices... sorry, CONSEQUENCES.. She's the one that needs to deliver.

[@random-nz7dy]

The old classic "I can't go to my family or my spouse were comfort but I can go to you" routine.

[@David-wo9un]

He for sure will continue to pursue this relationship.

[@JakeStewart1343]

He knows it's wrong but was hoping John would sympathize

[@goinggaga4ladygaga]

Not a doubt in my mind

[@Astro95Media]

And it's not healthy for the person to be entering into a new relationship before the old one is officially over, even if it's already crumbling. I didn't date anyone during my divorce process because I needed to be laser-focused on my daughter and getting myself stabilized on my own. People who rush through it to get to someone else on the other side, especially if they already have someone in mind, isn't going to be in the healthiest place or have a strong foundation beneath their own feet on which to build something new. That takes a long, long time. It can happen, but it's months, if not years away.

[@mikeruiger7174]

Been here and doc is right girl basically said everything I needed to hear 6 months later she’s with a new guy and pregnant (not my kid) so RUN

[@erichchan3]

Dude just needs to find a single woman. Why does he have to go for a married woman and be a homewrecker? Its just karma. I feel like this Brad dude is going to ignore Delony's advice and go for it and pursue it and get heartbroken.

[@livingproof420]

She wrecked her own home!

[@eddyalonsomoramorales6069]

​@@livingproof420and he went for her🙄🙄

[@JENKEN425]

HE DIESNT CARE THAT SHE IS MARRRIED HE S HAVING FUN.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

Let's be real here, she's not gonna leave him. She just wants to have her cake and eat it too period she wants the stability of her marriage while also having a fling on the side she's putting the idea of leaving her husband for the caller on the ego of the caller, and the caller doesn't realize it's never gonna happen. My advice if the husband doesn't know is to tell the husband and just go from there or just go no contact

[@kagnewcobra5228]

I wonder what her age is ( he's 26) and whether or not he was ever married.

[@joannesmith8840]

Don't tell husband. Just end it and leave. No further contact.

[@InDirectDiana]

I never wore my wedding/engagement ring after my 2nd pregnancy. Didnt fit and im not a jewelry wearer. But i never talked to men, flirted, etc. And i always mentioned my husband and verbally stated that i was married. Absolutely always name dropped my husband. He was absuive and adulterous, so now im divorced. BUT EVEN NOW!! As a single woman, im not talking to or engaging with any men!! Thats a red flag in my opinion. Idk. I just feel wrong about that. Assume everyone is married!! Thats my motto, even if they are not... none of my business!

[@hollyfranco9539]

I've been that person. I was with a guy that was separated and ended up getting back with his wife. I was devestated, but lesson learned. Never date someone who's still married.

[@user-fw5tr8ht1e]

I've been there dude with someone else already in a relationship. I made my mistake, never again. Never form a relationship with someone already in a relationship. Don't get with someone fresh out of a relationship.

[@goinggaga4ladygaga]

Red flags galore She doesn’t end one relationship before starting another She acts single when she’s married She lies She cheats She runs from one relationship to the next without addressing her issues or what caused the failure of the relationship and therefore will repeat them in future relationships

[@Susq15]

It seems wiser to steer clear of emotional entanglements with people whose lives are in chaos.

[@JKNat9004]

YES!!

[@DrewsThoughts]

Brother trust me as someone who's dated for many years. Dating someone or trying to date someone who's separated but still married is never a good outcome. That married person thinks they want a relationship because they like the feeling of being wanted again. But it's not healthy. You've got to move on.

[@mysterio1570]

The 26 yr old man is stuck in a mindset that she is his only Romantic option and her attention is easy for him to get now. He think that if he does not see this through, that he will have no Romantic option around the corner. Life is long. Its ok not to date or have romantic options for time. It is hard when you want it, but its worse when you are not in the authentic life you want.

[@TimeToShine768]

Run as fast as you can!! This kind of situation never ends well and could be dangerous for this man. Run! Find a available woman!

[@oncetwice5942]

Just by the title alone the first thing I thought is she’s not going to leave and even if she did, it will not be good.

[@camaromustangmods3327]

I wish you would do follow up videos.

[@dianeingram8976]

My husband loves to use this line that we are separated! 😵‍💫We are still still married! 🤦‍♀️

[@Lauren-i8i]

💔😢💗

[@colettemallory3813]

This fellow sounds young and naive. He is smitten and does not realize how horrible his heart will end up broken at the end of this fiasco. She is untrustworthy and being with her will destroy him. I pray he leaves her and closes the door like a vault, and does not even entertain conversation with her.

[@Contrarian-v7p]

At 26 you are no longer young and naive. You're an adult practically knocking on middle age.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

There is one way to test if the "we are getting divorced" thing is true, then offer to pick her up from her house to go on a date. Right then and there you will know if she is lying or not.

[@hadenanderson563]

Ha! Good one! And go to the door, of course. Assure her family that you will have her home safely by 11:00.

[@caissa6187]

First, nice shirt Dr.John! Second, to the caller.....I was the other woman. It's a very confusing time for her and believe me, you don't want to be with someone who's already coming out of a relationship because you will ALWAYS question if she will cheat on you too. What's the saying? If they do it with you, they'll do it to you. I know it's sucks but it'll suck more if you carry on with this relationship that's not completed for her yet. Be wise and best of luck.