Will Your Narcissist Contact You Again?

[@Momosworld84]

they fuck you up so bad that THEY can't stand you, so they discard you........well said

[@daviddemars]

Michelle Phillips Thank you Michelle!

[@vannessawest4291]

they want you back, to PUNISH YOU !!! , for their amusement.

[@itsnaf837]

Cruel bastardsss the lot of em

[@daviddemars]

They believe you are their property and own you forever.

[@daviddemars]

Jesse F I'm actually studying this and if you have anything else you can help me with I would appreciate it. Just about his past. Possible sexual abuse? You can email me [e-mail]

[@daviddemars]

Jesse F Thank you. What about his Dad? How does he act around men?

[@daviddemars]

Jesse F very sad. How does he act around other men?

[@daviddemars]

Terra Tamblyn Yes, that is what I've been aiming at. I'm noticing a huge amount of women who are being abused physically and they have been abused sexually by the Father or other family member. It has to be misogyny. The Mother let it happen or didnt protect the son in the subconscious mind of the Narcissist.

[@daviddemars]

Jesse F Thank you. If you can answer one more, I would appreciate it.. Siblings? Any weird relationship with a sibling?

[@ChristineDAngel]

This was fantastic. I have just been discarded for the SECOND time by the same guy. First time I was discarded it rocked my world and I fell apart and he didn't care. I finally moved on and 3 months later he came back on hands and knees threatening suicide without me etc..so I fell for it, going against everything I thought I had figured out, all in the name of love. Well guess what? The idealization stage was a lot shorter this time around, the verbal abuse much worse, and I was cheated on again. This time I had the strength to go...it's been one week no contact and he's already messaging me again. I still love him, but listening to these videos and educating myself on the behaviour helps immensely. Thankyou so much.

[@daviddemars]

Christine Lynn HI Christine, thank you for yoir comment. If you watch more of my videos, you will see how similar your relationship is to others and how textbook your ex is. I hope you realize that it's not even him you love or miss because everything he told you and showed you is an illusion. It helped me understand more when I accepted that. I'm sorry he still contacts you, Know that he probably will again and it helps when you make it harder for him to reach you. Ask me anything and thank you again.

[@ChristineDAngel]

I'm waiting for the next response (which will result in another no contact from me). Unfortunately, I can't block him because 3 weeks prior to this discard I consigned on his new truck!! Stupid me, but I was told all kind of false promises and was completely manipulated. Now I'm fucked! I just have to pray that he doesn't screw me or I'll seize the truck (all I can do at this point). He needs the truck for work, but at the same time he needed a consigner so fml. Also, I am a single mom (by my ex husband, not him) and on a single income so there's no way I can get a loan myself now as I'll be considered high risk until it's paid off. It's a $40,000 truck. It says a lot about a man that would deliberately try to screw me like this with a 5 year old son. Unreal.

[@daviddemars]

Christine Lynn Nothing surprises me anymore with these P.O.S.! What a man, I'm sorry Christine. There's no way to get out? I would imagine he would have to voluntarily take the truck back... not happenin! And now you still have to deal with him, great. I wonder if there is.a way?

[@ChristineDAngel]

I tried calling the leasing company but they are closed today because of the holidays. But after doing research online I've come to the conclusion that I'm screwed. Funny enough, a couple of months prior to this I tried to take equity out of my home for renovations and the banks wouldn't let me until my divorce certificate came in the mail (the house is mine -- agreed upon with my ex husband). And guess who was going to do the work and who's idea it was? The narcs. So it's a good thing that didn't go through because for all I know he could have taken off with that money and my renos would have been incomplete. However, as you know I won't be able to get a loan because of this fucking truck until it's paid off, so renos won't be done. And according to the narc, he will have it fully paid off by February. Bullshit. Everything he has ever promised me hasn't come to fruition. I could tell you so many stories about this guy. The funny thing is, the first time I was discarded I wrote a blog about how I was narcissistically abused and I STILL got sucked back in. I write to help me heal and it helped....and now I have a whole other series of bullshit to tell this time around...so I'll write again or do a KZbin video talking about my experience to try and help others in similar situations much like this channel...which I love :). Let me know if you ever want to read it and I'll put the link here. And keep in mind that I still went back to him after writing it...and got burned again. Unreal.

[@ChristineDAngel]

That's awful! It boggles my mind that people are out there that are this cruel and manipulative. Here's the link to what I wrote. Note that one of the people that commented at the bottom of the blog admitted that she was used by the same narc. I still have no idea which woman this is...and even after reading that I STILL went back to him. christinelynnblog.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/i-fell-in-love-with-a-narcissist/.

[@conniehoward447]

They will after they play around with another supply for awhile . A month or two . They don't have the ability to be loyal ever!

[@Gods_girl1000]

It was 9 months and then he contacted me.

[@jakstorm3180]

I think mine is loyal she just treats ya like shit until you finally break. Then she can leave the victim so her flying monkeys can tell her how brave and wonderful she is.. she'll be back yet a 3rd time. I won't allow it this time.. gonna be straight up honest why.. I wasted ten years of my life off and on. I loved them in despair. I know now she will never be capable of real love. She will never love me the way I did her so why waste my time and so much energy on a woman that is straight up material and fake. The fake will piss her off but truth often does

[@michaelali7151]

They don't love themselves, why would they love us 😕

[@docbeatsusa]

Michael Ali exactly smh I totally agree! Says DocBeats™

[@73cabbie]

Michael Ali TRUE.

[@glitterboxglitterbox1939]

Michael Ali that’s true right?

[@D1987Gd]

Loathing themselves is the motivation for everything they have done. ....and ever will do...damaged goods can't even bare there own reflection in the mirror

[@princhipessa1969]

Mine loves herself and her goddamn mother that created the monster in her.

[@kendraloher1723]

He literally texted while I was watching this.

[@andthnwat]

omg..the narcissist is pure evil..

[@ericalagogiannis8331]

Can i ask where are you from Australia

[@rubenortiz6744]

Andrea Yes they are and there also demonic venomous viral evil creatures

[@Andrea-sl8wd]

Andrea Yep!

[@MoonwolfeConsulting]

He's in the cemetery permanently and he can't come back after me. Hooray, this is what freedom feels like.

[@specialk864]

you ran the ultimate fade on your ex and killed em’?!?

[@msmagic1568]

2 yrs later and we need an answer😂😂😂

[@kristeneichhorn9826]

There is one reason and one reason ONLY for the ex narc to contact you. They feel they can continue to use and abuse you. Do not forget that was the purpose of your involvement in their life from the second they met you. My respect is something my ex went above and beyond to loose, he will never get it back. Stay strong and stay away from these people.

[@rondagantt4222]

Amen !!!

[@andyeckhoff3604]

Thank you for the information, I'm going through discard right now, f****** piece of s***.... You're so right

[@nobodysomebody2719]

I've been in a relationship with the devil herself. And yes, it was pure hell! I regret wasting my love, time and money on her. But, for the first time in my life I realized the devil does exist. And takes many forms. Narcissist, being one form. This learning experience has made me appreciate a normal relationship. And I thank God, for getting me threw that narcissistic hell on Earth!

[@pauleastwood3694]

Same here, nearly killed me

[@danalouisee]

Your brutal honesty is refreshing

[@daviddemars]

Dana Murphy Thank you Dana!

[@danalouisee]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend I just abruptly went no contact on my narcissistic boyfriend, he reached out to me once via text message but I did not respond and haven't heard from him now for a little over a week. I'm confident I won't contact him but it still bothers me that he hasn't contacted me though I know it's for the best

[@daviddemars]

Dana Murphy He will again. It's not flattery, he will try his hardest to hurt you. Even if he's nice about it at first, he will eventually hurt you. It's his plan. Don't let him and don't think you can control him or what he does. You may not understand how he feels and misjudging this will lead to you getting very hurt. The only thing you have control over is you and that is staying no contact. If you break this, you will be in pain. This is a guarantee.

[@danalouisee]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend thank you for your response, being able to talk to people who have gone through the same experience is really helpful. I was sitting inside of a coffee shop yesterday and he actually walked in from behind me and I didn't realize he was there until the cashier said his name and I looked up and saw the back of him. I immediately gathered my things and walked out. I know he saw me as he was about 1 foot away from me and there's no way he didn't see my car out front, I'm just curious as to why he felt the need to come in there if he knew I was in there. Did I do the right thing by leaving or should I have just acted like it didn't bother me that he was there? I don't want him to think I ran away out of weakness or fear but I panicked and that was my reaction.

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

I know I love it too .

[@spotteddog1716]

To quote HG Tudor”it ends when one of you dies” . I totally agree with that they will hound you for ever in one way or the other

[@phoenixfyre3465]

It does get worse....and worse and worse.

[@daviddemars]

h g It sure does.

[@Canttouchthis4710]

I discarded the narc I could not put up with it anymore. I still miss her. There is a difference between missing the narc and wanting to go back to all the BS, lies, cheating, drama etc. Missing her and wanting to go back are two things and they are not the same

[@strangefacekid]

There are stages of the narcopath relationship. They will contact you again, but only to execute the grand finale, if you fall into this trap, they are setting you up for the final execution. After this there will be no contact, however they will turn this onto you as you call, text, email them seeking answers. The ultimate goal for the narcopath is to destroy you.

[@daviddemars]

Strangefacekid They will come back as many times as it takes to destroy you. Mine came back 3 times and has not stopped even after I have stopped all ways for her to find me.

[@strangefacekid]

I'm on my 3rd and ultimate round. Reaching final devaluation and attempted execution, only this time I called her at every yard, She knew there was no control and I had her game.. She used her children this time knowing that I cared deeply for them, also knowing my codependency and longing for a family structure in my life, I am more angry with myself for playing, and saddest of all is a 9 year old girl, desperate for a father figure who is now untrusting and in psychiatric therapy. She used her daughter to get to me and has destroyed her daughters innocence and trust. Foul human beings, not of this earth, but of a dark and demonic realm...

[@daviddemars]

Strangefacekid They leave a trail of destruction. It's sad that it's human beings they destroy, especially children. Thank you.

[@amandaburdette7091]

@CNXG CrazyNarcissitGirlfriend Him & I went 5 cycles. Almost 3 months ago he and I started the 5th cycle. I think he pre-meditated it because cycle 4 I called him out on being a liar, cheater, narcissit, not bf/husband material. Cycle 5 only lasted a month as when he ended it he told me I'm a psychopath, liar, weirdo, & stalker. ALL not true! He told me messing with him will get him caught up, to leave him alone, he's 100% done & I won't be hearing from him anymore. So I think it's the FINAL discard.

[@familystorybook1543]

but they WILL keep checking up on you, in the shadows

[@wendytimms4515]

My friend had no contact with her ex narc for 5 years Once his new relationship ended he contacted her to see if she would like to get back together with him. Fortunately she said no!

[@blankakasza7221]

I was contacted after 3 years. We are never safe.

[@shawnawesome7797]

I love the anger in your statements. Mine has left me with a lot of anger and its hard to find a way of dealing with it.

[@brianmilk4004]

I meditate. And it actually works. But sometimes I still want to pillage and rape villages and nuke cities. The bitch.

[@avianceslots4446]

@@brianmilk4004 😧

[@beachdiva9586]

I was not angry, just so hurt from the separation, untangling and knowing that he chose the mistress over me, his wife. He even told me that "one of you are going to be hurt". I told him to hurt her, not me, I'm your wife. I didn't know anything about narcissism then. Now I do and my attitude is how dare he discard me for someone else. That was 9 years ago. BWT, that emotional affair-turned physical lasted 2 years. In the divorce I won the house and my assets, which the soulmates continually threatened me with them taking half. I wish I had known then what I know now. It doesn't really matter albeit I understand narcissism now. I'm remarried to a wonderful man who is not a Narc and will never, ever do to me what the ex did.

[@reginaanim8287]

Give it to God i was arrested and have kids with him

[@nativechique7589]

Oh my gosh it's been 2 weeks n he thought an apology would suffice n couldn't understand y I was sooooo pissed n hurt still. Mind blowing how he doesn't get it. Finally he's leaving me alone

[@JessicaRamirez91622]

This is the 3rd and final discard. I wont let him come back and ruin my life any longer. I am working on myself and my happiness!

[@AdrienneStarr]

your so right..mine always waits till I get my shit together, only to come back and fuck it all up, I've been dealing with this bs for 5 yrs.

[@daviddemars]

Adrienne Starr WildDiva BBW Take control and slap a NO CONTACT on his ass! It's the only way. Know that he will again so let him see you don't need him or want him when he can't contact you. He will know and you will enjoy revenge by giving him a true Narcissistic Injury that hurts deep.

[@EMEGONZALEZTRKING]

AdrienneStarr my narc does same for 3-1/2 years i now at 70 days no contact

[@cassiearrowood1471]

they will always come back if they cant come back they will see you at the store and talk to like nothing has happened

[@DSD]

You are so spot on David - you have to prepare yourself for when they do reach out - to establish supply - and not fall for the trap! Great video! -Duane

[@daviddemars]

Dad Surviving Divorce Thank you Duane!

[@mmanda515]

That ending fortune cookie...

[@docbeatsusa]

Dad Surviving Divorce I agree! My ex narcissist tried to contact me 3 days ago and I ignored the phone call lol im running for my life still so forget that crap. Says DocBeats™

[@mrawabik9756]

I wouldnt second that from my experience. They are just too good in dragging u back into their shit and destroy u and leave again. Fuck that shit. just stay no contact and do not hear them speak. No matter what they are venomous and will bite u again.

[@jeanettadavis-jackson637]

👍💯👏

[@williambr88]

"They got rid of you because they don't love you".

[@dwaynemcinnes5914]

Hurts pretty bad

[@infinitypoker6383]

The reality of this hurts so much I'm so sick to my stomach I feel like screaming!

[@Lisalove9122]

Sydney black aww you’ll be ok I promise

[@infinitypoker6383]

@@Lisalove9122 thanks friend...

[@Lisalove9122]

Sydney black every moment of each day be stronger than your thoughts. You will get through this. It gets easier the harder you fight back against your thoughts. And stay NC! You have to

[@infinitypoker6383]

@@Lisalove9122 hey thank you sincerely for your kind words means more than you know

[@micktaylor1991]

Sydney black. Just got outralationship 3 months ago. I wanted to committed suicide. It's the trauma bond the soul tie. Listen to r c Blakes. On breaking narsiss soul ties. On you tube. Help you get free. A day at a time Sydney. It hurts. My ex got her new supply to come show him self to me. I nearly beat him up. He disappeared quick. He looked like a swamp creature. Ugley bastard. Just remember the narsiss will never be satisfied with you or anyone. They have a very powerful demon controlling them called the spirit of jezabel. Very minipulation. Controlling sexual spirit. Along with many others. Take care godbless you u k mick

[@mr.invisible3770]

I dont know, my ex turned out to be a narc. I learned this through therapy. She dumped me and asked me to not contact her ever again. I was kind and friendly but she was hateful. She discarded me. She cheated and rubbed it in my face. She blamed me for everything. She said she did nothing wrong. She now talks bad about me on social media and her friends laugh about it. I blocked her. Im confused still because I thought she was my best friend and lover. I gave everything for her.

[@dwaynemcinnes5914]

I fuckin hear that.

[@aiden9716]

Been binge-watching these videos. Offers great comfort and can't express how much i appreciate your hard-won experience, strength and hope, David.

[@stacyburnett2695]

Thank you, David. Admittedly I struggled, as I am sure most of us empaths have, about cutting off all contact because we do not want to seem like the 'bad guy' or cruel. But I really realized yesterday, after a wave of endless abuse, that I could no longer take it nor have I done anything to deserve it. I read somewhere on Google in one of the many articles, that the more we love them. the more they hate us. I do not have time to squander my love on someone who is not appreciative, kind, or decent. And thanks to you and your videos, I was able to summon up the strength to do this for me. You are awesome :)

[@daviddemars]

stacy burnett And you're awesome too. The fog is lifting. You're seeing more clear now. Give yourself 2 months no contact and evaluate how you feel. I'm proud of you Stacy.

[@worldofamina]

My favorite video. This exact video helped me to truly move on a year ago. "They're fucking garbage pieces of shit" put me right back into my place where I was before him. This isn't just about the information you share. Your emotional experience of getting over the narcissistic abuse makes it easier for us to go through it too. Thank you, David, for your honest emotions. Amina, Moscow

[@FitwithTiff]

Ironically, you posted this video the same day he contacted me a week after I totally stopped reaching out to him. :-) I've blocked him from everything, and yet he still is possibly stalking me online. I'm ready for the next stage in my life with someone sane and with a heart. :-)

[@daviddemars]

Tiffany Gibbs They are predators always on the hunt. I'm sorry you still have to deal with him. it should stop as long as he's not getting anything from you.

[@ms.und3rst00d6]

I love how beautifully honest you are. Also straight and to the point

[@daviddemars]

Ms. Und3rst00d Thank you!

[@chepkoechc]

I got mine cheating and he admitted....so i started no contact..... He has sent me several messages and i have not replied..... am not over him yet...but am encouraging myself to soldier on. Thanks for good info.

[@healthyfitfun]

Chepkoech C sorry to hear. God he sounds like a loser. Keep watching these vids it will help you to move on. Kim Wilson has great videos too

[@daviddemars]

Chepkoech C Good for you soldier!

[@lisanorris9056]

once again very helpful. starting to realize that my feelings are not unfounded. I asked my narc a direct question. "Where have you been?" he said "none of your business." i told him "then I am none of your business anymore" NC is still hard after only 2 days. keep it up. very helpful stuff

[@daviddemars]

Lisa Norris Oh Lisa please keep going. Feel free to ask me anything. I've made a lot of videos on what to expect and how to heal.

[@oliviad6713]

I'm just randomly watching videos on this topic, first time I'm hearing you CNXG, and you are spot on. I am so happy that young people (and older too) have this information and resources available to be able to begin to understand malignant narcissists and the effects of their abuse. We do not think like they do, so for the majority of my 16 years with a very sadistic narc/psychopath (my diagnosis, based on my research for purposes of my understanding); I had no idea what was going on, and it was easy to fall prey to all the gaslighting and manipulation. To anyone listening to this - PLEASE take this man's advice seriously - DO NOT take them back. Do not feel guilty about wanting them back - most of us do, and if you don't understand want you are dealing with, you think they are normal, and have "grown", or been introspective, and want things to be better. But, exactly as he says, it will be WORSE, much worse - because by taking them back, it is telling them "she/he will take my abuse, I can just use her/him; leave when I want and come back. It is almost like this makes them look down on you more, and like he said, they aren't back because they love you and want to "work" things out, they are back because if you took them back, they have someone they know they can fuck with who will "take it". I had to go back many times to learn this. It just got worse, much worse and every time I lost more of myself. It might feel good temporarily, to have them 'wanting' you, but it is not worth the long term damage; and as he says, you will NOT be able to beat them at their own game. You are not capable of being as evil as these monsters are. It is normal for a "normal' person to want to see the good in people, and believe they can change, and yes, normal people with consciences who want to change can. But these narcs never will - they get worse. and you will lose precious years of your life. In my case, he always came back just when I was starting to feel a little strong, a little okay.. almost like he had a radar. And, each time I never thought I'd hear from him again, because his discards were sometimes very dramatic - "I'm never going to talk to you again", or sometimes he would just disappear. CNXG, you seem like a great young man. I hope things are going well for you now. I'm going to watch more of your videos. :).

[@oliviad6713]

@Rodrina Ortiz It varied (I went back many times so got to experience this all over again). Weeks or months. Long enough that I would suffer enormously. And when he called, it was as if nothing happened. I am much better.. but still not completely, because I should never talk to him again. We have not been in any kind of relationship for 3 years now, and he will call once every few months out of the blue, always to talk about some problem he has. And I listen. Yet, if it was the opposite, if I needed him, or called to talk about a problem I had, he would turn on me and 'reject' me. I know this, so I wouldn't do that. I know he will never even be a friend, as he is not capable (i.e the one sided-ness I just described. I think he calls to 'test' me, i.e if I was the same as I was before I was more recovered, I would sound excited to hear from him, be offering to "help" etc. Now, I often don't answer he calls. I tell him I need to call him back, etc. i.e he is not so important that I drop whatever I am doing to take his call and after MONTHS of blowing me off.. HE is not THE most important thing in my life. This is honestly how he/they think. It's an odd place - the relationship only 'works', if I am damaged enough to play the game. I'm not, but not strong enough to cut the strings completely.. which giving the appropriate response - Fuck off - would do. Narcissists do not want anything to do with healthy people . I don't mean to imply that those of us who end up with them are not 'healthy'.. although you will become very much so after being with them. I also see that my ex has gotten crazier and crazier as he has gotten older. He is always able to manipulate people into helping him I guess. I don't know if that helps. I hope you are okay. If I could talk to my younger self, I would beg her to never ever go back. I know it is painful, and having that pain relieved feels so good. But, it isn't real. He has not changed, he will not change. And he will do it again. And because you tolerated it, he will do it more easily and it will get more cruel. After 2 decades, I will never have a relationship. I had chances - I had good men who asked me out when I was on an "off" period with him. I could have had a good life. There wasn't you tube and all the education out there we have now. I can accept my fate now, and I have a decent life, but it is sad at times, to think about what I gave up. Maybe it's good that you wrote. I think I may have to have that F-off one of these days. Probably wouldn't make much difference though. I actually don't think about him very often any more, so you can get there.

[@oda1332]

Thats exactly how they are . ARE YOU OKEYYYY. Like all of a sudden they are our best friends .

[@Shi300]

Thank you for sharing! This use to terrify me. It's still scary but each day closer to healing. Once you discard a narcissist DO NOT go back! Trust me its solely to punish you. We are SURVIVORS!

[@lovelynurse3891]

Love love love your brutal honesty!!!!! Plus it fuels my anger towards the POS to stay NC....even if the Hoover would take place. NO CONTACT!!!!

[@daviddemars]

Lovely Nurse Why would you want to contact a piece of shit? Screw him! Thank you.

[@cespo77]

But this is the thing many of us want them to contact us because they have the ability to make us doubt ourselves and make us feel guilty. While we are crying over them and doubting ourselves, they are living their life in peace.

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

Christopher Esposito never ever peace for these narcs..We wanna live in peace..they wanna disturb that for us...because they can't have that

[@_madame_sene]

I doubt their lives are peaceful

[@christinehaigh9807]

They certainly make unrealistic demands...

[@daviddemars]

christine haigh They set the bar so high, you can never achieve what they want.

[@JamieHayes6982]

My ex narc is gone. I know this for sure he thinks I'm with someone else so he's going to stay away. Plus he's got a new supply it treats him better or should I say she believes in his crap. It ain't going to happen. I know this for sure. I'm no contact now over 80 days. As long as he believes I'm with someone he will stay away. He is a coward. Good video 👍🏽

[@Bintang221]

Whenever i asked for a break, it was never possible for more than 36 hours at the very most. But when he used to give me the silence treatment and blocked me from everything - it would be days and days and weeks.

[@jennalynn5711]

I find your blunt, no nonsense approach refreshing. A narc nearly destroyed me and my life. I’m scrambling to pick up the pieces. I discarded that piece of shit. You’re right. He will always try to find an open window so he can barge in again and fuck me up. I appreciate the candor and straightforward information. Who has time for 40 minute videos? Not me. Thanks.

[@jessicamarks5577]

Your honesty is bad ass , love your wisdom on this ..

[@QueenGoddessakaBlackBetty]

I like this guy. Hes absolutely right 100%, and its scary how predictable these narcissists are.

[@SB-gq7fp]

Lmfaoooo I died when you said, "are you okaayyyy??"

[@shaniecegullison]

Hahahaha same 😂🤣😂😂😂😂🤣😂😂😂

[@ayannagooden2957]

Me too

[@ams3666]

David, you have taken your own awful experience with an ex narc and have used it for GOOD and to succeed....you are helping SO many, including me. Your videos helped me through the horrific experience of an ex 'narcopath' (as I call it). Thank you for your channel and the GIFT that it is to the world. You are a true thriver and your knowledgeable contribution to this topic is greatly appreciated. THANK YOU.

[@williampipkin8815]

David, these Videos on your Channel and the other channels are Empowering to the abused. We finally have answers to the questions that are swimming in our heads. Thank You for explaining what happened to you. It mirrors what I have gone through , down to the exact time and approach my Ex used to Hoover her way back into my life the first time. Until i looked for answers to my questions, i just kept letting her back in, thinking she was a changed person. That was 5 discards ago. I am now at "No Contact" for 3 weeks and hoping that I make it to 4 weeks. #Every Day Is a Struggle # Trusting My Gut

[@daviddemars]

William Pipkin Thank you William.

[@dwaynemcinnes5914]

Very curious as to how you have made out after 5 years man ?? Hoping everything is good. At lest tell me its good so i have something to look forward to in the future. Been 3 months no contact thus far... hurtin like hell after a 5 year roller-coaster ride. With Tracey the nut job henderson of muskoka. Now.. 5 years of my life gone.. step son gone...her gone.. dog gone..home gone.. family i thaught loved me on her side...gone. Just everything. Gone. Sure would love to know that there is a light at the end...of this fcuked up tunnel brother

[@problmatic]

I’m going through a hard Hoover and I watch your videos to remind me to stay away!! Knowledge is power. Thank you for being awesome!

[@arteisiacalvin6286]

Completely true everything you said I've delt with. Cheating, lies, shaming me, smear campaign...sooooo sooo bad. Still healing but ive come very far.

[@kelizabeth5859]

Omg this is great!!!! I just got discarded for like the 10th time by the same pos. This time he said I'm done for good, and told ME to move on. Like,,, you keep coming back to me and destroying mr worse Everytime. I'm watching every video to stay strong . I'm hoping he means he is done for good this time bc I can't mentally go thru it again.

[@newoaknl]

I always come back to this one, from David... As a reminder.

[@hellogoodbye8760]

I love your blunt honesty. It's refreshing to see someone tell it like it is. Those that have not been hovered yet may not believe it.. But they will.

[@Jessicaunarex]

I don't think I will ever be contacted, as it has already been 3 yrs. He discarded me and I said some pretty nasty revenge words that I know hurt his overweening ego. He believes he's the victim, even though he was a pathological liar. To this day, however, were there to even be any mention of him 2nd hand, I get this pain in my stomach. He literally makes me sick to my stomach.

[@Jessicaunarex]

Oh but I will say my public FB page gets visited frequently!

[@daviddemars]

Jessica S well I am glad he hasn't contacted you. Sounds like hoovering?

[@TheHappyheart77]

Jessica S ,I hope he does stay away.mine kept quiet for several weeks ,then I got bombarded with emails.After raping me he had the nerve to ask me to "sext" him..:(..There followed a series of "nice"/ nasty messages ,when I wouldn't comply.Finally I blocked him from ALL my forms of social media connection..Good luck.I frequently get stomach migraines ,usually when I`ve had a nightmare about him..Stay safe ,away ,and let yourself continue to heal..xx

[@daviddemars]

TheHappyheart77 Welcome to the channel and thank you for sharing your comment. I'm so sorry for your pain he caused. He sounds like a real piece of work. I'm glad you're away from him and safe. Thank you for the warning.

[@UltimateAccessory]

TheHappyheart77 how are you dealing with the sexual abuse? My narcissist did that and discarded me the last time 3 months ago.

[@Monikblessed]

Thank you for this video. I recently learned that my narcissist was in several relationships while we were together. Ouch! Painful!

[@daviddemars]

Monikblessed You are welcome, glad I could help.

[@naida6958]

Some are celebral they use porn

[@jammetmalibu]

He was able to get supply out of me going No Contact. People thought I was being so mean and put me through heck. But those people are toxic to believe an abuser. I am so happy to be free of these sadists.

[@redsquirrel1086]

One of the narcissist's favourite mantras is "That was then and this is now."

[@marylumley7181]

So true !!!

[@ChristelValies]

even after the drama, new girl, humiliation? I'm so sick of this guy. We've been together for 7 years but he lied so much to me. Acted like he was loyal and loving, but something was always off. he was always talking to his exes, but I never saw the convo's. we didn't live together and he would go out of the house and not tell me. the moment I called him, "he was sleeping, "went to buy something", "was feeding the dogs". every time. i was so tired of this man. he irritated me so much. his people started to hate me because i was always mad at him. he brought the worst out of me. one month into a break and he's with someone else..destroyed every chance of being together, the smear campangne, I mean everything. it broke me. i was so sad..I was so depressed. i was everything but good. they are so toxic. i really started to question myself...maybe I am the toxic person. I tell you..I really learned my lesson. these people are cruel, it's so sad. I can't even hate him anymore. i'm just....meh.... I'm going through the healing process now and its not easy. its freaking hard. but I never ever wanna talk to him ever again. this man, made me look like the worst human being on the face of the earth. it hurts the most, knowing, you gave your all to this person amd they go around treating you like garbage.....like I said...Im just.....meh...no energy...no hate....just meh....

[@stevel5334]

Amen Brother....She ruined me for trusting anyone ever again...She was my best friend...I saved her life and her kids...now im unwell and its seeya! 10years...I feel terrible...and ashamed that I was so forgiving all those years. Total abandonment from her and I feel all used up! Thank God...I have God! Only one I trust....great advice you just gave..Thank you😢😢

[@flykiller8312]

Having a bad day today and your videos are the first place I come to, I love the direct way you say things and I always finish watching the video feeling stronger. I'm still waiting for my hoover I don't believe will ever come yet strangely know its best it doesn't and watching this particular video helped me refocus to what they are and what they want, can't thank you enough dude! Love from England

[@daviddemars]

Fly Killer Thank you so much for your support. Watch my video titled How To Free Yourself Of Unwanted Thoughts I hope this helps, I promise you won't care one day.

[@flykiller8312]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend I will check it out! Thanks again for all your vids! Inspirational

[@saraelizabeth1994]

I love you. You are helping me SO much with this brutal discard. He discarded me for his ex and made it seem like it was all my fault. I'm too fat. I lied (lmao he lied more than I ever could have...and I lied to keep him from screaming at me) etc. A myriad of different reasons. And this helps me SO much to realize they are not at all who they say they are. All the promises. All the love. All the friendship. It was all fake. And he will discard her too.

[@OctoberSunday]

David! Mine came back the second time after 10 years!! Yes they do come back...and there won't be a third time! He is blocked everywhere! Thanks for doing what you do!

[@daviddemars]

Stonekracker Thank you for sharing and I'm so glad there won't be a 3rd and a 4th and a 5th or a 6th and a ...

[@daviddemars]

Nick Warren They really do think they own us because they are stupid little children that can't even see another human as the same.

[@spotteddog1716]

I had a narcissist that would contact me once a month for like five years. This was before you could block them on your phone. Then it went down to once a year for a while and now it’s finally stopped. I left him so that’s probably why he kept at it

[@betterhazard7861]

12yrs relationship & I am just realizing he is a narcissist (covert, I think.) & we have a 4yrs old son together. Really glad I found your channel.

[@studentofyahawashi9341]

Great analogy lol....I'm a Ford Pinto with exceptional gas mileage, but I removed my carburetor about a year ago. I walked away from my Narc after she told my job I was mentally ill, they knew she was full of crap when she told my First Shirts they were all liars. They always seem to dig a hole for themselves, "please all Narcs jump in". Lol

[@daviddemars]

John Williams and may that hole be deep.

[@sophialewis5474]

Yup. Def helped. They are just the worst. Still amazed that all over the World narcs have such similar mo....s

[@lindakay1700]

One of mine (the worst kind....Covert type) came back EIGHT YEARS later just 2 months after my divorce. I fell for it hook line and sinker. Exact same discard/silent treatment ending!! It's been six weeks now, and Ive blocked everywhere. No contact is the ONLY WAY. Yes, it's hurts WAY worse the second time around.....mine proposed, gave me a diamond ring on Christmas Eve.....discard/disappeared the next morning....Christmas day. I've NEVER felt pain like that before.

[@mariettaljiljic1903]

Linda Kay Same thing happened to me. It's as if they all work on this same agenda of hell.

[@Angela-us8zh]

love that you don't sugar coat it! so needed to hear this, and to stay positive and strong. Thanks man!

[@DitaVonDahmer]

1 year, begging. 😅

[@daviddemars]

DitaVonDahmer Wow, throw a bone and run!

[@moonvibe7839]

It's not that I haven;t heard these things about narcs before, but it's the direct way you say it that helps. Just keep it up!

[@staceylove44]

Speaking of life rafts, he'd said "there's always another one..YOU were there". Talk about a factory line and being 'special'.

[@daviddemars]

Stacey Love How flattering. Now you would poke a hole in the raft. ; )

[@lvncsr6166]

I learning so much from your videos. 26 years of marriage with this madness. After I divorced in 8 months ago, he got married. I forgive, and I release and I praise God he will never be able to hurt me ever again. So he won't be contacting me!!!!

[@daviddemars]

LVNCSR That's Right! And thank you for your nice comment.

[@KomalJhaOnline]

I think I will oneday become a NARC considering the number of narcs I have dealt since I arrived on this planet 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@daviddemars]

Komal Jha Its too late for that, just stay away from them!

[@christinegratzoll1032]

Omg so true I wished to god I knew this b4... wtf!! Thnks David love your videos👍🏽

[@pigletthepug8466]

Komal Jha you are too cute. Too cute

[@denisep2868]

Komal Jha. We're in the same club

[@ThetennisDr]

oh my god thats the best stuff ever :) also how come im single if there are so many broken hearted . hey im single somneone wants to date >???

[@conniehoward1323]

Great videos. Narcissists are on an eternal rebound. They don't love anybody they neeeeed them. These spoiled toddlers get bored with their toy and they have a tantrum, toss you back in the toy box and pull out another from their collection. If you go back to a narcissist you better just bend over right away, take your emotional azz whooping and get it over with! If they hoover Don't respond at all, not even with the word no because it opens the door for them to ask why.

[@RavenLady18]

it had been 12 years, and he contacted me and tried to con me AGAIN. I had to get an attorney in between him and me.

[@Amanda-sh8uv]

After watching this video and your other videos in crying in relief because it is to a T what it's been like for me. I've been in denial the whole time thinking I was crazy or I did something to lose this man who was so crazy for me but turned into this manipulative game playing guy who never let closure happen, always came back, never let me go, after months of emotional exhaustion. After 6 months he contacted me again to try and break me, except he didn't, for the first time I identified that this is not a normal man. I have contacted a therapist to get help and recover from what I can finally call a narcissist. Thank you, thank you thank you!

[@daviddemars]

Amanda Good for you Amanda! Way to make the right choice for yourself. I talk to people that want to so let me know if you would like that. [e-mail]

[@Amanda-sh8uv]

Thanks! I saw a therapist and she confirmed that I encountered a sociopath. I've started reading a book and it's been crazy how spot on it is. I've began to go through memories of the relationship which I believe include sexual assault which I will talk to her about in 2 weeks. Although it's painful, nothing compares to the pain of the discarding phase. It's been a year and I'm ok now, not great, but in a better place. I often wondered why it has taken me so long to move on, I thought something was wrong with me, and was ashamed it was so difficult to mob on from. have you read the physcopath free by Jackson Mackenzie. SPOT ON! I just started and I could have written it myself. I highly recommend it!

[@gigismith3317]

Yes they always do, I couldn't believe this aspect of the disorder but it came true. the crazy behaviours never cease to amaze, the new soulmate the rages he claims he forgot happened. 5 months of peace, did allow me to read up on his insanity. Hey you, I miss you, I'm sad, I'm sick, I love you all crap

[@daviddemars]

Gigi Malone Thank you Gigi, I'm glad you're away from him.

[@shukorina416]

This is the most realist video I've seen on Narcissism I love his bluntness and honesty lol. I was engaged the whole time. I will definitely subscribe to him now!

[@bonolarryedge]

Yes ...a narcissist will contact you as long as you let them. :,(. Because no one else will put up with them. I know this because I am a narcissist.

[@carlatibbetts8815]

Spot on again! - 5 years no contact, have the gift of fear now👍

[@ellmonroe3664]

Omg I laughed soo hard when you said they say "Are you okay?" haha mine used to do just that!.Fake shit because if they were ever concerned if you were ok why did they just dump your arse and dissapear? My ex even told me that he turns up on peoples doorsteps because that makes it harder for them to fuck him off! Thanks for the tip off!

[@daviddemars]

Ell monroe You're are welcome and thank you for sharing!

[@daryna94]

Took mine 3 months to hoover.... he cried and seemed so genuinely apologetic and sweet that I believed him on some level. Then I started catching him in little lies (and didn't confront him about it... just watched him lie with a straight face to capture the image. For him lying/omitting details is like breathing. ) Fast forward to now I KNOW he's doing some shady shit... probably with another girl involved. I wasn't even heartbroken (since I moved on from him previously) just in disbelief of how people can seem SOOOO genuine and then act like complete scum. They're literally like a cancerous tumor, they need to be removed from your life before these parasites suck the life force out of you.

[@gordonsmom3861]

I have been away from him for 10 years. He still maintains a relationship with my adult daughter. He keeps tabs on me through her. He is not her Father. You would think he would go away after 10 years. But, no....

[@daviddemars]

Wendy Timms I'm so sorry Wendy, make sure you're not giving him anything, no reaction.

[@Dawncanorealestategroup]

He almost drove me insane. I didn't know what a narcissist was. I got out. But it was hard. I am always scared he will show up again. Good video

[@georgebeardsley2782]

Never react through emotions. Always respond with respect and your integrity intact. Stay no Contact. Learn and listen to your gut instincts. life is to short to pander to these miscreants. " MEMENTO MORI ".

[@iamu2247]

Do NOT respond to them. They go out of their way to hurt you and there is no forgiveness for That. Lol, to be honest I did everything wrong in what this video said not to do. With my FIRST narc, I was the one who initiated the break up because I was emotionally drained and forgot who I was. She came back a full year later, on my birthday, and I replied back like a doofus. For some reason I wanted closure, which is what the narc will NEVER EVER give. She just wanted revenge, and played push pull games. In the span of 6 years some people have told me she's had about 1 or 2 partners each year. They don't age well, because they get MEANER. The second narc I've been in strong no contact for a month and half and she's reached out, and sent flying monkeys my way. 😊 Feels good to know my happiness means so much to them to constantly check up on me.

[@isabellaluciano2043]

I felt him emotionally withdraw from me shortly after we had spent three days together on the fourth day he started to go really cold and distant a month-and-a-half went by and I told him I felt him pulling away I asked him multiple times if there was someone else because I just felt something inside me saying there was he kept denying it time and time again after a month-and-a-half of this treatment towards me that's when he discarded me

[@rvz77]

You keep it real and STRAIGHT. LOVE IT!

[@lauraf.e2788]

This video made me laugh, your impression was spot on! thank you David. Dealing with ongoing hoovering here. They only want to come back into my life to 'punish' me for going NC and to tear me down again, fact.

[@daviddemars]

Lorna Effy Thank you Lorna, I'm glad you're not falling for his BS!

[@b52270]

This is the total TRUTHHHH!!!! I was discarded in April of last yr. After much learning about Narcs, I realized what a nightmare I was in love with. I was really working hard to HEAL and was doing much much better around October of last yr after 5 mo of no contact. Then one day in Nov. I saw a text message from him on my hangout app, and it was skillfully crafted. I totallyyyyy fell for it hook, line and sinker. He was begging and future faking saying how he made a horrible mistake. It only took a matter of 4 days for me to sense it was fake. I pressed him and he admitted he was involved with a woman that was rejecting him, and sheee wanted no relationship with him. She was supposedly only using him to buy her things, then he swore it was over and done and she was a bad person etc. We kept talking but then he started hanging up the phone whenever I wanted to discuss what changes he had made. But he also failed to mention he had a harem of women, besides the one that discarded him, that he was 'chatting' with. A few weeks later I got access to his phone, and look up cell phone acct billing statement, bc he always cleans up his phone log. And there was all the proof I needed. All the calls and texts to the woman he claimed to have broken off with, and all the calls/texts to the other women that he claimed were his friends. He also had a pic of the woman he claimed he was done with; he had been with her a few days prior to him coming to see me in my town.... He literally had a pt job chatting it up with these people. Once he knew that I knew, the 2nd discard was pretty quick for me. He became more and more antagonistic, and he threatened me with all kinds of legal action for getting into the phone. One day he just never answered texts anymore, and claims he's going to remain alone and depressed (narc pity act). This time around I was so over it in a matter of a couple days, but I do feel anger still. They are a waste of time, and bring nothing but havoc and distress....it just never ever works out with them!

[@YesGodWellness]

Been 5 months. I discarded him and filed for an order of protection, which I wasn't granted because he's a manipulator. Just this past weekend I got a text from him saying. "Ok". LAME!!!

[@daviddemars]

Simply Megan It never fails. P.O.S. I'm sorry Megan. Save everything and show it to your attorney. Does he have anything to lose?

[@YesGodWellness]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend yep, job, firearm permit, children. He brought an attorney to court when I filed for the order. Such a mind fuck like why say ok, ok what!? He was just testing to see if he could get any reaction, I wouldn't dare ever give him the satisfaction. Just moved to an amazing place and guess what, it's right around the corner from him. He's covert and cowardly so he won't get too crazy he knows I'm not messing around anymore. The irony! 🙄

[@daviddemars]

Simply Megan Right on! Greatest Mother award! Yes, at least they are cowards.

[@dwifitria9512]

This is so spot on. Love the Car Analogy. And should you try give him another shot after they hoover, it does just become hell.

[@daviddemars]

Dwi Fitria Thank you!

[@melwill9868]

i had a narc. fucked me up. im in recovery now.

[@daviddemars]

mel will I hope you're talking about it.

[@melwill9868]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend it took me 5 yrs to start learning what actually happened to me. he cut me off and refused to contact me at all. i thought it was me. i thought i was worthless. i was depressed, anxious and at one point hit rock bottom. i sm still learning about narcs. it actually saved my life. i never imagined anyone could be this wicked. i never knew anyone had experienced this. its terribly destructive to the victims when all you were trying to do was love them. i thought he was my soul mate when all i was to him was supply....my my my i thsnk God for people exposing these demonic soul less creatures!!!!

[@daviddemars]

mel will And I thank you for your support!

[@klhlime]

This helped me. My ex narc was a psychopath. I went through so much abuse physically and emotionally and when he discarded me I ended it for good by going no contact. I've blocked him on several avenues and it's been 5 months n.c. I'm worried and afraid he will contact me again by showing up or stalking me. You're right that they will try to destroy you even more if you let them back in.

[@Dominiquem0222]

yes they will each and every time you let them

[@daviddemars]

Dominique Martinez Moral of the story... don't let them 😉

[@meimei295]

My ex was in jail for 8 years, when he got out he contacted his ex wife during our relationship. Now I am not surprised but.at the time I didn't understand the logic, after 6 years of mindfu--'ry, I get it! It is all a game! I didn't even know i was a tool! The horribly sad part is the time that was wasted, the money I will never get back, and the innocence I had about humanity will never be the same. Today I am in a better place but part of my healing is listening to others experiences to ground myself back to reality. Thank you for your channel and your work.

[@QuartuvLarry]

Just heard this song by Sonata Arctica (Blinded No More) and you could swear they were singing about the same thing

[@daviddemars]

QuartuvLarry Man he has to be singing about a CNXG!

[@venusallegrayerkovich592]

Hi David . Your a BLESSING in my life. Thank you. Yes narcs are relentless. They are in a continuous vacuumus cycle. And I'm learning to step the fck out the way. No contact best always.

[@TheMistyreneeb]

I have him blocked everywhere. He knows where I live but I got a security camera because of him!

[@boston19te]

I love this video and your authenticity... my sentiments exactly about my narc, thank you for these videos! Had it not been for videos like this I would’ve remained in a state of confusion

[@kimora337]

Love your videos. .. thank you for putting this information out there. ..

[@daviddemars]

Karla You are so welcome, thank you Karla.

[@newandoldtech5634]

That dangeling thing from the lamp is mesmerizing.