Resist The Hoover

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In this video, I describe what a hoover is, the different reasons and methods a Narcissist will do it and how to avoid them. By not giving in to the Narcissists ploy to extract more emotional fuel from you, a hoover is less likely to happen or happen again.
Thank you for watching this video, please give it a like, if you would like to watch more of my videos, please subscribe and if you know someone else that can benefit from this, please share.

[@sunbeagle9769]

Fishing, testing the waters, checking to see if you are vulnerable; these abuser's can only conquer weak people. Stay strong and stay no contact if possible. They are vampires with absolutely nothing to offer.

[@daviddemars]

It's not flattery, it's about more fuel.

[@daviddemars]

Jesse F [e-mail]

[@daviddemars]

Stacey The Sparkling Star Good Stacey, you better not feel guilty! This better empower you. You are in control now!

[@motowngirl5891]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend mine will NEVER come back, I called him bad names, Facebook is full of supply

[@motowngirl5891]

No contact 130 days. He hovered 3 days ago , just ignored it

[@nodeal4791]

I got sucked in the hoover after 6 month no contact and responded to him. Back on no contact hes a peice of shit.

[@Omega13_channel]

Ugh it's so much worse when you were married and have children with a narc. You can never rid yourself of them because of the kids. Now he's shacked up with a gf who he's miserable with and is an alcoholic like him, and he drunk texts and calls me in the middle of the night, "I still love you..." and all that other bs. He's become overweight and bloated. I look better than ever, got a degree and a career. The feeling is glorious.

[@daviddemars]

Lizzy's den Duane from Dad Surviving Divorce is a great guy and a good source of info that may help you.

[@Omega13_channel]

Thanks David! I will definitely check out his videos.

[@tallmandingo22]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Duane is great, his videos really let me know I wasn't alone.

[@BlackcountryhistoryhunterBCHH]

who is the narc again ?

[@victoriawatkins770]

I want to say to the people who think they are dealing with a narc but aren't being hoovered... don't be so sure...they pass by your house,your work,ask about you etc...you may not notice it at first. trust me they will borrow someone's car and park down a road they know you drive often just to follow you. they will stalk you and they will try their hardest to get back in. please people be aware of your surroundings. that's my experience.

[@victoriawatkins770]

just wanted to add that I ended up having to get a restraining order too much to type here...but listen how crazy...they believe they are above the law and the narc still tried contacting me not once but multiple times...I had to keep pressing charges on them every time..it goes to court in February but breaking a restraining order more than 3 times becomes a felony (only misdemeanor before). so depending on the evidence I have or whatever will determine the sentencing. they are no joke. he was and is abusive,stalker psychotic material. my restraining order against said narc never expires.

[@daviddemars]

Victoria Watkins WOW, thanks for sharing that Viktoria. Don't let up or let your lawyer let him plea bargin. Go all the way and not see him for a long time.

[@malicor.8247]

I share the same experience. Scary stuff. Over 1.5 years later after the discard/my running like the Devil was after me, and I STILL look over my shoulder. I've been through my fair share of horrible things in my life. The worst thing to happen to me, was my ex narcissist. I always feel like he is lurking in the shadows.

[@daviddemars]

Emilia Arroyo Have you tried filing a police report? Make a complaint if they don't respond.

[@marshaburke1816]

Victoria Watkins Yes, you are telling the truth just be aware of where you are

[@captainswan3079]

"They want you to sit and wait for them!" Yes that is spot on!

[@blessedbutterfly4552]

They seriously never do give closure to the relationship...they just discard but always believe they have one foot in the door incase they need supply.

[@daviddemars]

Blessed Butterfly Yup, they own your ass for life!

[@victoriawatkins770]

+CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend I've actually been told that exact same thing by the ex narc..Insane!

[@daviddemars]

Victoria Watkins I got it from other woman telling me about what their ex narc tells them.

[@chemtrailmary]

blessed butterfly you said the narcs believe they have one foot in the door. what they believe and what i believe is sure not the same thing. so no problem. they can take their little hoovering idea elsewhere.

[@blessedbutterfly4552]

The ex N hasn't lived beside me in almost 2 years..I have been no contact whatsoever with him for almost a year now. A couple nights ago I had a dream he came over to ask me if he could borrow some gas for his lawnmower cause he moved back in next door. This is the part of the healing process I don't believe alot of people who have never dealt with these individuals understand. Unfortunately it does change the way the mind of the survivor operates long after the relationship is over even with no contact.

[@KlausDoitschlaaand]

My crazy borderline ex is actually hoovering me right now. I guess she messed up her new relationship, hehe. Everything in this video is true, thank you for your moral support dude.

[@gmc202]

Hi. How are y now?

[@rolfjohansen5376]

even if she initially succeeding , she need some backups. Most likely she have experienced that these projects did fail

[@lala4461]

He is right. If you take them back they cycle you out FAST after initial discard. They know your buttons and there is no years/months of love bombing. They will devalue you within minutes of hoover. Block these A - holes.

[@JN81224]

Just coming off a Hoover. Chose to walk away calmly after 3 days of tremendous love bombing. TRE.MEND.OUS. But that “Still Small Voice” inside would not let it ride. I KNEW in that hazy, unsure, agonizing “I have no proof”, “wait...am I the narc?”, Twilight Zone. I chose to listen and walk out the door. Your videos have guided me, educated me, enlightened me. Today, your videos will comfort me and lift me up. Thank you David.

[@delilahray5537]

"Misery loves company. Don't be that company."

[@watchwomansoundingthealarm]

I was involved with a covert narc...this is so spot on. It's emotional torture and they enjoy every moment...if you watch them closely enough you'll notice they even giggle to themselves over it.

[@susannec659]

God Bless The Gentle People of the World

[@daviddemars]

Susanne C Thank you sweetheart.

[@FK-cg8el]

Susanne C Ameen

[@Happy-Me.]

Sometimes they don't hoover because they can't deal with the rejection after you discard them or you found them out and told them what they are!

[@user-hf6cd7bc7t]

Or they discard you and you figure them out and they know you know too

[@Happy-Me.]

​@@user-hf6cd7bc7tYes it's all about the shame. You know what they really are and they don't want others to know. If we were Narcissistic we could use it against them!

[@Happy-Me.]

I'm in a position where I share the same hobby with my Borderline ex and although I have nothing at all to do with her but she sees me occasionally (distance pursuit) which could to be fuel for her as her ex Favourite Person. She doesn't look very well at the moment though!

[@BJS7777]

You are so raw and truthful. Returning to the crime scene, hilarious!!!!!!! Man keep up the good work, and keep them details in there😂😂😂

[@daviddemars]

Spiritual Warfare Soldier Thank you and I will!

[@lindaromano4222]

I was hovered 7 years later! Yes I got sucked back in so I can not stress enough Never never never never never respond to a Hoover. I was sucked back in because the first time I left I did not address my internal issues which made me susceptible to these predators. I focused too much on what HE was rather than why would I want someone like this in my life, that is the real question many of us should ask ourselves because we already know what they are. These individuals are emotional rapists, abusers, users, liars, manipulators. Because of their pathology they are extremely skilled in their pursuit of prey and or fuel. They must have supply it is vital to them, like the air we breathe. Cut them from your life like a plague because that is what they are. They slowly poison your mind and soul. Very disturbed individuals. You are doing a great job promoting the dangers of these animals and the damage they do. Thank you

[@montelo555]

Sick. Sick. Sick. I’ve always known this somewhere deep in my heart that they want to see people in pain but now I’m damn clear about it. I see it all.

[@mariograjeda5614]

They love to see you in pain even when they tell you they love you,they miss you,they leave you exhausted financially,emotionally,

[@jefflynn2779]

They absolutely revel in other's misery.

[@andrewferguson3535]

David this is excellent. My 15 year marriage followed the NPD destructive steps to the letter. I discarded my ex narc. The hoovering is so subtle and malignant it's impossible to predict. I just remember any time a narcs lips are moving they're lying. Good luck to everyone in recovery 😀👍🇦🇺

[@inge5627]

My mother is hoovering me for now 17 years, im still standing my ground. You re video s help ,me a lot !!

[@daviddemars]

Inge Martens I'm so sorry Inge, don't give up because you're beautiful!

[@laurieanne6608]

Thanks David.. my narc is such a bully..he has a new supply, yet he sent a card with God bless you, and prayers all over it. He uses God

[@daviddemars]

Laurie Anne This is very common. They assume that someone that has faith or belief in the supernatural will believe their bullshit. Thank you.

[@nodeal4791]

Terra Tamblyn same with my ex alaways taking me in churches

[@irenegallegosperez]

Mine was a pastor.

[@kynathomas4809]

I know one like this as well. They use the bible to manipulate you. Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing.

[@vuokkorusso2841]

Dont forget satan wanted to be as God. Be careful these people are demon possessed

[@michellewright7341]

OMG...i experienced everything you mentioned. The min my narc see im moving on,he comes back around. the cycle has been going on for three years now. I've been discarded once again. it's like I'm afraid for him to see I'm happy,because each time he senses or see pics he comes back around and break me and disappear. They are such evil creatures.

[@NodakSavage]

wow dude, you just saved my life. I'm going through this so bad for the last 3 years. this woke me up

[@jillians100]

This is so hard to accept.

[@JN81224]

Jillian S Beautiful Blue....it’s hard to accept because you know. You Know. Everything inside you screams “David is spot on”; I must let this knowledge replace my warm hearted Love for my narc”. Watch on loop if you must. You can accept this Blue. You can do this Blue.

[@jillians100]

Jenuine Dreamz thank you,

[@samia6888]

@@jillians100 how are you doing now?

[@noninoni454]

Telling it damn straight! Wish I knew this before the second hoover. He totally wanted to discard me again and destroy me. I will never respond to any communication from him again. The hoover was horrific!

[@daviddemars]

Nicole Cruz I'm sorry Nicole, I'm glad you're away from both of them, Thank you for sharing!

[@silverrain8532]

Your videos are awesome! The language you use... Very honest. Thank you so much.

[@daviddemars]

Silver Rain Thank you!

[@user-hz5sq5cb1o]

You Nailed it!!! After awhile, you see what the hoover actually is. Then you can resist it and give them nothing. No contact is magic - gives you a power no one can take away. Colorado

[@cathie62]

this was a good one, David. Had me in tears actually.

[@daviddemars]

cathie62 Is that good or bad?

[@alwayscleanalwaysneat9533]

Right on point, once he knew I figured him out, he never hoovered again.

[@problmatic]

I have watched your videos before, but out of the blue I received my second hoover tonight and I was shaken. I found you video, it calmed me down and knowledge is power. This person can kick rocks, not interested in ever responding to this bozo again. Protect your peace. Thank you. I am on high alert now and I will definitely be filing a report if anything more comes of this, as not responding to these hoovers is causing him to get real pissed in his messages. Thank you for making these videos. They are keeping me strong. Appreciate you.

[@susanpeters3341]

Ive also found that it does get worse after each Hoover. I’m no contact for the rest of my life. Enough is enough. Thank you, for your video’s. xo

[@MrHADouble]

Man your videos are on point man. right to the point with no bulls*** or beating around the bush!..thanks for making these vids bro keep them coming. 🤘💪💯

[@daviddemars]

Mr. H A Double Thank you so much, glad I can help.

[@Noemie291]

Thats the best hoover video Ive seen, I needed that one. This whole stuff is crazy. Grateful to still be alive.

[@mosesdavid5097]

That’s absolutely true that narcs don’t like to see you happy, it really upsets them. Thank you for this great info!

[@staceylove44]

👍 video. I can't believe every day was like a hoover of some sort and I was perpetually getting and staying sucked in. Not love, or the expression of it, but rather hating me and trying to keep me in the crazy cycle.

[@daviddemars]

Stacey Love Thank you Stacey

[@KidultSense]

Yep they Hoover!!! My ex narc and I broke up 2 months ago I have him blocked on everything. Before, around this time I would've unblocked him but I haven't and won't. So he made a fake page to check my instasnap. He hasn't reached out, he's just watching. Smh

[@motowngirl5891]

NeverPerfectByKidult DO NOT UNBLOCK EVER

[@SB-gq7fp]

Lmao

[@SB-gq7fp]

These mfs crazy

[@conordaly8537]

Same thing but on Facebook! Blocked her on messenger month ago and few days ago I check my Facebook block list and she’s not on it?? Type her name into the search bar and she comes up!! Must have deleted her account and set up another one. So I block the new one and later that night no caller ID calls at midnight and her brother reaches out to me the next day about sending her an email for closures sake because she’s in so much pain! These people are ridiculous! She lied to my family and told them I was the abuser and stalking her??!! Man I don’t know where to even start. I’ve never encountered such toxic people. Checked fb again and there’s 4 blank profiles set up in her name. Blocked all 4! She WONT stop! Never ever going back to that mistreatment. No peace at all. No more physical and mental abuse thank you very much. I actually want to find someone who I can have a warm loving relationship and spend my life with. Funny every time I mentioned that she would say I just want a yes girl! Hmmm how about a little normality and stability! Apparently that’s too much to ask for in this life. Stay strong everyone out there. These people are NOT worth your precious time on this planet. Avoid, forgive, forget, let go and move on to sanity and real love.

[@blessedbutterfly4552]

The ex N hoovered me after the first discard by contacting my neighbor to get information for an apartment that's was for rent right beside me. He moved in and was my neighbor for a year...total hell!

[@daviddemars]

Blessed Butterfly OMG Horror Hoover!!!

[@ronpaublo4eva]

Blessed Butterfly Poor thing :( I fell in love with my next door narc and after 5 yrs of yo-yo-ing, it took a year for me to finally move out.....he lived upstairs...the walls are super thin...Every day I could hear when he was grinding his coffee...peeing in the toilet...when he was pissed he threw his free weights on his floor....and of course, those big bass speakers....FML. Good to be out...recovery is day by damn day

[@blessedbutterfly4552]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Yeah I thought it was until he moved after a year and then I really lost it. The ex N is a covert narcissist for the most part but the reason he moved was because a month before his lease was up he showed up drunk and forced his way in my home and physically assaulted me in front of my kids. This is how bad these fucks play with your mind. I got diagnosed with PTSD because of other issues that happened earlier in the relationship. He timed perfectly what he did a month before he moved. It's one thing to know where your abuser is even though it was living right beside me but it's a whole other story when they move. Imagine knowing you have a predator and they are behind the same bush for a year and then all of a sudden they are gone right after they attack you. Of course to the outside it looked like I was crazy and obsessed because I didn't know where he was but that was the furthest thing from the truth. They not only want to make their victims crazy...they want everyone else to believe that their victims are.

[@blessedbutterfly4552]

Aida Tumucha The ex Narcissist would come home for lunch and I swear about an hour before he pulled into his driveway I would start having a panic attack and wouldn't leave my home till he was gone. I lived like that for a year revolving my life inside my home around whether he was at his home or not. To the outside I'm sure I would have looked crazy or obsessed but it was like I went into survival mode. PTSD is awful! After he moved I started counseling and I almost had to be deprogrammed from the way I lived my life for a year fearing for my safety.

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

Blessed Butterfly 😮OMG

[@TashaBabi16]

It’s wild how often I have to watch this video

[@stacyburnett2695]

David--thank you as always. I have 13 days NC with the N---and it is feeling better and better. I think this quote ties in to exactly what you are saying----'whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you." I am so thankful that you have provided us your channel--it is cathartic and provides extra strength, particularly on days when I feel weak.

[@daviddemars]

stacy burnett Thank you so much Stacy! Thank you for your support.

[@terikakons6757]

This was so spot on, 100% accurate, and so very helpful, I watched it exactly at the time I needed it when I am being hoovered. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@TheHappyheart77]

David I want to thankyou.Not only have you made good ,relatable videos ,but you`ve opened a community here ,where we can all support one another ,and chat to people who truly understand what we`ve been through ,and how we feel..xx

[@daviddemars]

TheHappyheart77 There really are loys of great comments by lots of great people. Thank you!

[@ashleyshafran8358]

Also in this language. Thank you for not sugar coating shit. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@michellewright5834]

I wanted to thank you David and all of us listening...you've brought such mind blowing knowledge to the hurting...May God Bless you David...Keep Speaking The Truth❤

[@ashleyshafran8358]

I’m obsessed with you my guy. You are so smart. I needed to hear this. ❤️

[@sharhughes1086]

My ex left me a total of 3 notes on my car recently in a 2 week span, Just got home i was standing in front where i live this jackass pulled up calling my name out loud turned around and went in the house. He discarded me a total of 10 times, this time i dumped him. He's trying to hoover me like crazy I'm ignoring him he's a non factor he can go and suck some bodies else's fuel and light. I was his top shelf source so good look trying to get me back I'm done. I'm happy and content with my life and will never suck me dry again.

[@venusallegrayerkovich592]

Shar Hughes your so Awesome. Love you my friend.

[@larab5415]

man the truth hurts. why is the Hoover so hard to resist. my ex destroyed my life. took my townhouse. jobs. cheated on me with my drug counselor I had in treatment and replaced me with her...yet he still wants FWB with me. I'm severely depressed. i know I'm so much better off without him. yet I give in.

[@daviddemars]

Lara B You have to have zero contact. You can not begin to heal until you are away from him. Stay strong and make the personal decision to discard him. Good luck and ask me anything. [e-mail]

[@daviddemars]

Terra Tamblyn ikr?

[@chrispalmer3969]

Don’t sugar coat it Dave , they are excuses for humans. I was strong enough to cut my loses, not easy but I have a lot of self respect for myself. I’ve decided if I ever get a message or phone I’ll probably answer & ask who it is, she’ll say her name & then I’ll say sorry I’ve never heard of you. Job done Keep your videos going Davy 👍👍👍👍

[@kirakeynow]

My piece of sh narc hoovered me after 2 years. And i tell you: they KNOW what they're doing.

[@daviddemars]

Hottschrott Yes they sure do, thank you!

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

Hottschrott yes they know..that is the creepy part of it...

[@vuokkorusso2841]

I wish people would understand these narsisstic indeviduals ARE DEMON POSSESSED.

[@susannec659]

thank you for the tip about the police report and journaling. that's a really good thing to know. the police report because a lot of people don't want to go through the whole pressing charges thing yet I guess they don't want to or they're afraid

[@daviddemars]

Susanne C It's about building an existing file on someone that is harassing you or you feel your life is in danger. The day he really crosses the line it will be impossible for him to deny it or get off with a slap on the wrist.

[@courtneyacosta5591]

I was with a narcissist for 6 years (on and off) a friend referred me to your videos .... I found a video audio recorder in my bedroom a week after he was removed from my home and stole my truck. I only feel safe because he is currently in jail on drug charges.... your videos have opened up my view on my situation

[@nessauk2786]

Just wanted you to know how happy I feel every day since I watched and listened to you know ...I always come back here just to remind myself that we rocked this x thankyou David we are still here with our true self's so thank you 2024.Im so pleased I went on our journey and here I am happy content without them.Withoit you I'd be nowhere David , what a gentlemen .I still relate to this video years later what va gem you are x

[@cilffjohnson6194]

"There has to be evil so good can prove it's purity above it."

[@markymark4385]

Springfield mo. I first watched this video several months ago. Almost everything in this video has happened! In my situation you described exactly what she did . She is still trying to get my attention and ''fuel''. I seen the text and pictures exchanged with other men. I was talked about like a pos. Now suddenly there is talk of the future, how much she loves me and I have been the only man in her life and how she has NEVER BEEN with another man. You're incredibly accurate and helpful David. Thank you SINCERELY for your time and information.

[@tod8205]

Markey Mark I know this is an old post but I didnt know what narcissism was until 7 months ago. My wife told me same thing about being faithful etc but would project back to me I was sleeping with co workers. Never once cheated on her in 9 yrs of marriage. It's been 7 months after being ghosted by her. Most painful event of my life other than losing my Mom. I filed for a divorce 3 months ago. Wont do any good for her to try a hoover now. Thanks for your post.

[@ericagilvin1859]

This is a good reminder video when I doubt what I went through for 29 and a half years.

[@renatoamericano2335]

No contact for 2 month, a few hours ago the first hoover-call. All chanels are blooked, but my smartphone showed me 2 calls of “Second Mistake“, her new name. Up to this point, I thought I'm over her. And then I felt like a shity superman in doubts. I even wondered, if she's doing good...f. I watched 9 hoover-videos, this one is the last one, that brought me back in line. Right what I needed, thank you so much man! Saludos cordales de South America

[@emeryfamily6898]

thank you very much, discovered your channel after one of my narcs contacted me after 2+ years...needed this support and guidance and TRUTH---so easy to suck us back in if we don't pay attention--appreciated!!!

[@toxicbutterfly527]

Good Video! Everything you talked about is so so true! Its refreshing for me to watch this and keep me reminded of the hell that is waiting out there for me Im going on two years no contact (two kids together) I moved and he has no idea were I live now I had too I was high risk He could have killed me Ive healed enough now I needed time Im ready to deal with anything now but my point I love your videos Its a nice reminder and sometimes I need that And to anyone who is still dealing with the emotional torment they leave you with It gets better It takes time I have finally got my life back and now with a future for someone who deserves me and is capable of real love It was worth it

[@ozzyboring9301]

I have looked att No contactvideo and this one...It really helps! 3 days from him now...

[@lorihoppa8387]

Spot on! I figured it out long ago. My own Mom and brother. Watching and listening to you gave me so much Courage to Move forward. Thank you! 😊😎🏵️🌻🌺

[@ranikalakaar]

Such greatness. Well put together. Thanks.

[@J07J]

You are so perfect man, really I mean it. I got the hoover after 2 months telling me it's all my fault.

[@matthorton1906]

Omg your so on point with all of this 6 years of on an off an always playing the victim

[@SM-mc1ti]

Exactly what I told him David ! And yes he doesn't Hoover me back immediately. He comes back after every few months. And I remind him who he is. And he runs the other way. Cause narcs don't like to be reminded about their true self ! Oh yeah I stopped chasing him. Thank god for all the videos loaded with all info on narcissists ! I am a much stronger woman now. !!yay!! Everything u said David is all true. Experienced it all. U r v well informed. Thank u for all your help ! Your videos r an eye opener for me and a realization who they really r !! "Sticking their toes in the water checking the temp !" Intelligent analogy !

[@daviddemars]

S M Thank you! He will get sick of not fueling up with you and give up eventually.

[@Lu5Ann]

Goodness! WHat GREAT INFO !

[@venusallegrayerkovich592]

Thank you David. You are a champion. Screw the narcs

[@jendowd6910]

David, THIS. THIS. THIS very video is where you woke me up and I thank you and love you for it. I appreciate you and have woke! Xoxoxo

[@bronwyntanner4501]

I absolutely love the way you speak. Totally my language. No he will not hoover. I believe he knows his place. He has moved areas and into a space/place where there are loads of lonely widows. He will have his fill!!! Hugs to you for your wisdom

[@debdavis8958]

WOW! Love your style, Holy Crap this was just what I needed! Thank you for this I needed my Core Shaken.

[@camfrancisco]

Thx, straightforward and true

[@charlief5290]

My ex narc is hoovering me via lawyers. Unbelievable. I have nothing left to give him. He took everything financially from me but I got me back. I missed me.😀I know he had a harem for our entire marriage and prolly previous to that as well but good riddance. Now I know my life was an illusion for over 2 decades. I'm glad you explain the hoovering. I want him to be distracted by another but I'm not that lucky unfortunately. I'm getting ready for the fight of my life (divorce and felony charges ) . Ugh. Thanks David. Your experience, although horrific, is very helpful. Please keep it coming. I can't thank you enough 🙏

[@daviddemars]

Charlie Foxtrot I'm so sorry. Please stay as strong as you can and just get through this. Have you watched Dad Surviving Divorce? He's good and has experience with divorcing the narcissistic Mother of his children

[@charlief5290]

CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend I will check him out as I need all the help I can get from those who understand. At this point you're my primary source for knowledge. (Don't tell my shrink lol) You lived it so you know. Thanks for your time

[@daviddemars]

Charlie Foxtrot Thank you, let me know how things go and if I can do anything at all. At least you're talking about this with someone. Duanes channel should offer some helpful information for you.

[@dailypaywithkim]

They are Demons!

[@stepchicken3238]

You know, I was looking at this vid again and I also saw on this page, HG Tudor's "The Fading Narcissist." In this vid (especially the last 5 minutes) he talks about what can happen to the narc when they lose a Primary Source and can't replace them (when living in a small town). It seems to fit what looks like is happening to my ex-narc, because when I look at her Facebook page (just out of curiosity!) I see that there's a high turnover of 'friends' as she struggles to get 'fuel' from further downstream with theseTertiary sources. Just as you say, they have to keep getting emotional fuel...anyhow. Total 'no contact' really freaks them out. I like to imagine her running up the walls, scrabbling around trying to get a new fix.

[@daviddemars]

step chicken They will actually be run down and low in energy until they suck it out of someone else.

[@dawnberger8105]

Love yourself first, right on.

[@survivalfarmcoach8727]

I did the non contact thing, but then he came to my house and I was in my garden. He came with a friend to pick up his stuff. Now he wants back his guitar and he'll have the money in 3-4 days. But i dont want him at my door, but i do want the $100. He just told me that he loved me, with freaking tears in his eyes, but if I'd take him back, he'd treat me like shit the very same day.

[@user-us7vw3yq8p]

You said such helpful things. I've watched lots but you said at least three new things that really helped

[@tinnnn1]

Again another amazing video David. Another perfectly logical explanation to their fucked up behaviour. Another reason to realise that yes, life can and will be sweeter.

[@chrislambert1617]

David, you are fantastic . . . Chris . . . Norwich, England

[@kaylastarlight7252]

You got a very funny way of explaining but you are right its crazy real good advice at the end like your videos so much to learn

[@kimbarnes2765]

Hi David, thank you so much for informing the public about this topic. Your advice is on point, clear and concise, an important factor when advising people who may be living in a perpetual state of chaos, confusion, and isolation. I wish I had known about this phenomenon when I was being tortured and abused. I made the mistake of taking him back after going to the authorities after he rearranged the bones in my face. When I told him I went to the police, he immediately moved back in with me so that he could build his defense against the assaults by baiting then recording my reaction to make me look like an irrational basket case. He ran from the police, hiding out in my home for a straight year, slowly and insidiously brainwashing me to tell the DA that the attack was all my fault, which I actually did, but they knew I was lying. So yeah, no, the shit gets way worse when you let them back, horrific even. I finally just fled my house that I owned for 12 years, left everything, and lived in a camper for a year. I'm happy to say that although he was an attorney, I built the case that took us thru a week long trial where all of his evilness was exposed. He was convicted of 6 counts of various high and aggravated assaults, etc. and received 15 fucking years in prison, to serve 2. He'll be out in a year and I know he's going to come after me. I want to move out of state, buy a gun, I don't know, but I can't relax, haven't moved on, am still self isolating, I mean I got my career back and a new house but I'm still all fucked up. I don't know how to be like I was before this happened. How do I go back to normal? [e-mail]

[@Willa4420]

You are doing very good videos!!! I studied psychology in college but they were just terms on a page. Later in life I got out there and met people who put a face to these cluster b personalty I read about long ago. A Narcissist can come in the form of a parent, a boss , a friend , a spouse who ever. They are mentally sick people who ONLY think about themselves! They are con men or women, liars & actors. Yea...I've come across a few. They look for gentle people and will suck off them. Narcs looks for em paths. I kept wondering why I kept attracting these negative kinds of people toward me. I am no longer a people pleaser.

[@daviddemars]

Willa Barnes Perfect! Now you're a just a Willa pleaser!!! Thank you for sharing!

[@Willa4420]

Thank You. Most people will take advantage of kindness. I had to learn that the hard way. I had made changes where there must be mutual respect and I now set boundaries. I am lucky in the sense I just got mental & financial abuse. I have seen some people who were really physically messed up by abusive Narcs. :o(

[@daviddemars]

Willa Barnes Awesome Willa. I just finished a video titled Shame, it pairs with the video I just made titled Boundaries. Sounds like you understand this.

[@Willa4420]

I do and it is wonderful work you do because I learned many people have gone through this. So I am not alone. I do often wonder how could I have been so stupid but of course Narc use lies, manipulation , will pretend to care about you and so on. It can take years before you realize this person is using you and cares nothing for you. I do feel most narcs come in the form of a love interest. I am moving forward NOT bitter BUT much wiser :o)

[@daviddemars]

Willa Barnes Thank you. I hope can get something out of the video I will publish next.

[@1962Melody]

I just love your videos! Your so str8 up! I'm just now being hoovered on FB after 2 years. He discarded me. I put a restraining order on him, took the police to his house and got what I could of my stuff. I moved to a new town, got a new # and blocked him on social media. Now he has made a new FB. He came up in the people you may know section! I blocked him. Today his best friend is #1 on my people you may know! They will use other people to hoover you if they don't hv the balls to do it theirself! I'm so over this! Thank you for all the great advice!

[@lizzijansen6527]

Again, excellent video. My Narc started hovering or trying to re-engage 12 years later, then again every few years when he was between primary sources. Wont happen again because now I know. Excellent video, thank you!

[@bronwyntanner1317]

Oh oh oh how I love what you have to say and the way you say it. So much truth. I don't think he will hoover .... however.... Hopefully I will be prepared. Not unblocking. Ever

[@patrickpepin8577]

My narc made a hoover attempt on Christmas eve by text messenging me a merry Christmas. And then she vanished after I said merry Christmas back. This is very strange behavior. Can anyone tell me why she would do this? After unblocking me on Facebook before Christmas. She has now blocked me again after the hoover attempt.

[@daviddemars]

Patrick Pepin She is receiving fuel off of you because she knows what yoir reaction will be. She knows that's all she has to do and she may believe that would encourage you to chase after her. She has told everyone that she is trying to get rid of you and you won't leave her alone. When you try to contact her again she will look like she is right. Just a possibility, it's how they think.

[@patrickpepin8577]

Nick Warren that's what I thought too Just playing mind games to get a reaction

[@nessauk2786]

Spiteful behaviour !

[@malcador]

I watch this particular one a lot. Thanks man.

[@nkr9659]

Thanks DeMars, your coaching is really helping to ease the pains

[@tigerprint7960]

Hi David, Thank you for the insightful video. It's hard to believe that they want to see your pain. Interesting how you explain the narcissist maneuver which shows how they: idealize you, devalue you. idealize someone else, etc. All so complicated. Currently no contact for 6 wk. from ex-boyfriend. However, I do check my cell & wonder why I haven' been "hoovered" A bit crazy I agree. Feels like a game but my feelings of sadness & anger are not funny. The one positive aspect is that I feel calmer overall & am relieved that I'm not in chaos.

[@daviddemars]

Tigerprint79 Hello, so the reason he isn't hoovering you is only because he has a new source of fuel. he found this source while he was with you and is now going through the first phase with her. You will know when the second phase has started with his new victim because that is when the hoovering will start with you.

[@floragirl222]

I have seen a few videos of you in the last couple of weeks. I want to thank you for sharing your views on this topic. It helps me a great deal. I am having a hard time at the moment. Just been discarded by a borderliner. He sent the police to my house, claiming I stalk him. This has nearly destroyed me. Now he is hoovering me. I know I have to resist, but it is very difficult, because of my own issues, like being a codependent.

[@denisep2868]

Thanks for making this video every thing you said is 💯💯💯% truthful!!!!

[@yocastanu]

It is incredible how every video that I see describes a situation I have lived with my ex-narc, right now he is hoovering me because I made the mistake of telling him what he is and left him. He is with someone else right now, but keep knocking at my window at night. He knows it´s definitely over now but I'm afraid he will always considere me as his property. This shit is really scary. I feel pity for his new source of fuel. Thanks for your vids David, you really have helped me a lot, you have no idea. By the way I looove your name, my father, my brother, my nephew and my youngest son are Davids. Lots of hugs from Mexico!!

[@molls7818]

Thank you David of all the you tube videos yours are the best I needed to hear this one as my ex narc contacted me thru a fake profile a few days ago and it was a big nice message (after slating me and posting lies on fb about me )and it really upset me.. I was almost sucked in and replied!! Now I know why his doing it.. his supply is low or didn't work out

[@daviddemars]

molls 781 Thank you.

[@ggsplace69]

I am glad I found you Mr .,, love how you say things ,as they are , this is helping me way so much ,xxx mr narc is back in town , I'm watching his manoeuvres ,and your right on the money , They are like gremlins sweet ,but watch out , they are nasty and ugly .

[@susanpeters3341]

I was stalked by a narc for 12+ years. This was when info about Narcissists was nil. He finally stopped.

[@danihartery-smith1140]

Well , Hammer nail and head my friend your insight is on point ❤️!! More more more videos please xx

[@daviddemars]

danielle hartery-smith Thank you Danielle, your awesome!

[@mariesmith4063]

You are the bomb! Right on with this crazy, sick mental shit. So pissed I fell into this crap for years. This sick freaks need to be in prison.

[@zoobear84]

I love your videos bro.. Thanks

[@zoobear84]

Lmfao @ don't be faltered

[@daviddemars]

zubair hassan Thank you Zubair!

[@amandaloughry4550]

Did you actually meet my ex narc? Becuz u NAILED them! There are a lot of you on here very helpful, but you actually NAILED ole ex narky sharky! That's crazy how much of them share the same actions. It's honestly starting to remind me of the Bible verse about legion. It's creepin me out. Ty so much for your insight.

[@rsunrise7038]

You're fantastic. I love your advice. Keep up the fabulous work!

[@MegaMissfitz]

Morning sarks, it’s gonna be hoovering & spreading sparkle for me today might throw in a movie & a Sunday lunch 🤪🤪🤪

[@wolfgangjohnnywinter.9386]

Good stuff ..always David..thank u

[@harrismario9113]

Exactly after 4 years she came back in social media and Hoovered, i fell for it she used the silent treatment and discarded me in no time, she is still sitting in social media 24/7 to Hoover again, this time i didn't go, am sad coz i already cured and healed, after 4 years she came back n causing cptsd, but i will win again coz i know all her traits, thanks for your advises.

[@ThatsAggravating]

Thank you brother