Woman Says Most Black Women Will Never Have A Classic Dating Experience

[@TheRealBlackPanda]

Black men are being centered in too many conversations and its headache inducing. Even negative attention is still attention.

[@acestarone]

yea the one talking about black people don't have a culture of romance because they come from struggle. wtf. come on now. that's weird and silly.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

I can hardly stomach it. They take this attention and continue to misconstrue it and purposely never understand the information being given to them.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

I agree so hard. Black people get it from everywhere all the time. And all men have the potential to be absolute garbage. So it looks foolish to spend all this time trashing a group that is already on the bottom of the hierarchy of things. Black women are lower but we can punch way way up instead of just slapping at the feet of Black men. Often times nonblack men fetishized black women which can be just as cringy.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

@@acestaronethis is exactly what I’m saying. These folks are not living a well life with a high paying job and security. Not a single one of these men is a professional. And it didn’t look like a single one of those women were a high paid professional either. If you are low income you will have a low income life. And dating with roses and gifts isn’t part of it no matter what race you are.

[@TheRealBlackPanda]

@@DaughterofDiogenesExactly. This isnt pretty woman. A rich man isnt coming on his stallion to rescue you because you have a pretty face and if a woman wants men of higher caliber to notice her its as simple as being of higher caliber. Lower grade men arent taking a woman to nobu and the 4 seasons or a rooftop party. Complaining about that these types of men are treating them as cheap is futile if those are the ones that have access to a woman at all. There are plenty of black women of higher caliber with exceptional dating experiences because thats their crowd. I just think theres an issue with a lack of self reflection. Im not currently dating because I know the type of man I would attract I genuinley do not want to entertain. So, Im focused on becoming healthier, investing in my well being and learning how to manage my money better.

[@jlcii]

It's not that black women won't ever have a classic dating experience...... It's just the fact that our classic dating experience may not come by way of a black man 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@am-harris7458]

Well put!👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

[@janedo-re-mi2738]

That part!! The overwhelming majority of black women speaking on their interracial dating experiences online are saying that they did get better treatment. Of course some black women have dated bad men outside of their race, because there are good and bad men in all races. But overall black women have gotten better results with non-black men. For example, marriages between black women and white men have a lower divorce rate than marriages between 2 black people or two white people.

[@chauweissnat88]

Same for black men

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Our kids do better. They are in a much socioeconomic class which comes with a lot of opportunities.​@@janedo-re-mi2738

[@Mynameshelenbtw]

​@@chauweissnat88if men have money, they can get anything. Isnt that what all the nfl players pretend to do, and tiger woods, snd then cheat on them. Why wasnt kim good enough for kanye?

[@keke06145]

These men have zero accountability.

[@acestarone]

smh right. they say we chose the wrong men. That is the biggest glasslight. even the nice presenting men do the bare minimum.

[@chisomo8088]

That first guy pissed me off the most cause the girl in the so called “exhibit a” video is clearly white, and yet she was with a black man, which is clearly the problem. They accepts ‘rachetness’ from white women cosplaying blackness, but from the actual black women, they have so many barriers for even consideration

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Which is why women need to leave them alone. They will NEVER get better

[@LLove-fi9xp]

Zero!!

[@jamssnom-xv1mz]

That’s rich 😂😂

[@mabel9701]

If you don’t roll with hyperxesualisation as a black woman there is nothing there for you. Dating outside has been nothing but a blessing.

[@wellersonoliveira5334]

True sis, same goes for indigenous woman. As I always say, european colonialism left a Mark on non white people to this day 💔

[@blaackberry]

Giiiiiiirl nothing but a BLESSING.

[@coreythomas3633]

Ya date bad non black men. Too wtf

[@coreythomas3633]

​@@blaackberryhow is it a blessing when ya still complain about racism. 😅😅😅

[@blaackberry]

@@coreythomas3633 Marrying outside of my race and the complex issue of racism are separate entities. Im sure its just hard for you to differenciate when all your energy is spent trying to one up happy non single Black women. Yall dont want us, but also dont want us to be with anyone else. Wild behavior

[@Honeyflowerrr]

Stop blaming the system. It’s their fault they don’t like their own race of women or themselves.

[@exuberanttarot]

Who taught you to hate yourself? ~Malcolm X

[@Honeyflowerrr]

@@exuberanttarot stop coddling them

[@wellersonoliveira5334]

But in a way it is, or at the very least it contributes to it. The aspects of colonialim are very much present on Brown/black communities.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Exactly

[@redrock740]

I see the same exact behaviour in middle-eastern men, they look at other middle-eastern women like we are trash.

[@KeykeeMari]

Sleeping over at a boys house while you’re in high school in order to get “proper dating experience” is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Those are the same types of men that will shame teenage pregnancy and single motherhood. That is such harmful advice.

[@jessikajane4967]

Agreed. That shit is stupid😂

[@NicoleDSK]

Yeah I'd like to chime in and say this is not a typical white suburban experience. Parties, yes. Co-ed sleepovers not so much. Maaaaybe when you're like a senior and you're getting to an age where you either are an adult or practically one.

[@TheSomethingnew1]

Yea I was not following lmao the average parent isn’t having that. Now when he mentioned black women not being introduced to the dating experience properly in their teen years, I agree with that. My friends and I have had that conversation about how we weren’t really taught to date and went into college very blind and naive. But I don’t think that’s our faults and still has more to do with black men and the black community than it does black women’s decisions.

[@SteganDaMallion]

Exactly i ain’t never heard of that. No respectable household black or white is doing that. So he missed me with that BS!

[@PrayerOfMannesah]

Statements like the boys you raised, and all the stuff just proves who they are first of all all people who insert their teenage years are no longer influenced by their parents. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl if you’re a teenager, your friends have more influenced than your parents. The people that always run their mouth is the ones that need to be quiet. It’s always them. They’re always talking and nobody wants to hear from them because they’re lying.

[@adrinacherie3446]

Non black men have been great to me. Sorry to say it is a cultural thing.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

I can agree with this afterall. I think too many black men think they are owed black women’s bodies so they don’t even try to wheeeas a nonblack man has to have a certain level of maturity and confidence to be willing to approach a black wan so they are already starting out in a better place.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

@@DaughterofDiogenes They DEFINITELY think exactly that. It's pretty gross but most of them are not capable of making emotional connections with women. You're either a trophy or a s*x toy for them and there is no in between for most of them.

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

@@DaughterofDiogenesthere was a BM from the Uk that said “many of us feel like we OWN OUR WOMEN” nah, I’m a separate entity and my shared identity of blkness means nothing when it comes to loyalty because they have been nothing but treasonous

[@Aliensanonymous_]

It’s 100% a cultural thing.

[@xletragedyx]

Non black men have taken me on more real dates... but I wouldn't say they've been great to me. A few, obviously, but... men are men

[@patrice6139]

I'm a black woman in her 30s who just started dating out a few years ago, and I wish I had sooner. I'm currently dating an Asian man, and he has done more for me and my family than any black man I've dated. I hope more black women find the courage to open their options and focus on the character and quality of the man and not be so race loyal.

[@buttertoast7262]

Where you find him lol

[@patrice6139]

@buttertoast7262 Lol on Hinge. We've been together for 2 years.

[@M_G12love]

Yes I love that for you…I too am a member of the AMBW coalition it’s great over here they take care of their women and since they’re good at math they don’t do 50/50 only know 100% 😅

[@xletragedyx]

See what his parents are like. My husband is Asian. His parents were so devoted and loving. His father took care of her and made sure she was happy til the day she died. She says, she already married the love of her life, so she's done. I'm not so "delicate" as his mom, but he knows what his job is.

[@yellabone94]

I just couldn't get used to their hotdog colors and sizes. If it isn't 8inches or higher, it does absolutely nothing for me.

[@Play4keeks]

As someone who dates all races of men, women have to be super selective with who they give their energy to. I've been on all kinds of dates. With most of the black men who ask for my number, we never make it on a date. Why? Because they dont know how to plan a date. You are not going to, "When can I see you?" Or "What are you doing?" Me to death. Sorry not sorry.

[@naga7461]

Highly doubt any blk man is fawning to be with you 😂yall come on here just to pop shit about us , take off the party city wig roach

[@asoultress]

Who are raising them???? Y'all keep rejoicing when its a boy, raising them to be antiblk unknownly, and then whining when they run away from y'all. Smh.

[@varietychips2867]

Completely agree. The bar is high because it has to be based on the standards I've established. It has nothing to do with race. Unqualified - non-dateable men come in all shapes, sizes and colors...

[@xanjey17]

I had a white guy do me like that “lemme see you” and I say “you know where im at” and he’s like “send a picture” then he always ask “wyd” like sir leave me alone. I cut him off cause I ain’t got time for that lil stupid junk.

[@shontasmith9362]

Agreed 💯

[@whitneylawrence1337]

BM Love to make up unrealistic examples

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

l don't listen to the group of males who are on the bottom, up under the totum pole in EVERYTHING. The Black Man is a lost cause and failure

[@Gem-n-life]

More sequels than X-Men and Harry Potter combined 🥴

[@TwoPrettyRedDimes]

😂😂😂right it’s wild af facts the bw that a lil older we co sign your comment !bm have been doin it for 35-150yrs plus

[@chinaming7447]

They use movies to explain real life situation, like children!!!

[@hanishamarshall3341]

I'm glad somebody said it. I thought it was me. But I was nah he reaching!! Lol

[@deeskez]

Why are we always blamed for everything? Like wtf did we actually do these men? Black men will find everything wrong with us but praise everyone else.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

U gave birth to them. That’s what u did

[@irene4633]

exactly! no accountability whatsoever...

[@TinkOutLoud]

Girl, because it’s your fault that it’s their fault. 😅

[@redleeks6253]

You've birthed them. You've raised them in a household where there's no father or a male figure to pay the bills. You've raised them in a household where women (sisters) were treated as domestic slaves and beaten like them. You coddled them because you needed to protect them from 'racism' and 'white oppression' and make them feel like they were permanent victims. Do you neee more? Stop giving these men access to sex, stop giving them reproduction rights

[@soppres7406]

And this is why BW should leave BM to their perference.

[@maryjanerx]

Black men out here trying to pretend like they arent the problem

[@blkgrlwrld]

The sheer audacity

[@blkgrlwrld]

​@acestarone it's funny because some black women are this way because of black men. They are the ones who are mean with the attitudes and project that on us as well as gaslight us.

[@nikjonestravel]

"we don't treat you well, because you don't deserve it since IG models and celebrities are doing online challenges"

[@healingonesmindset]

BW always get blamed 🤦🏾😞

[@mabel9701]

The guy with the locks was the worst! Conveniently leaving out BM’s misogynoir bs attitude and them publicly going out of their way to bash and endanger BW and put non BW on a pedestal. Please ladies, remove yourself from these self-hating misogynoir men. Let them starve and be bitter. There are many other options and it’s brighter over here, if you prioritise personality, love and proper treatment, trust me.

[@Age_Of_Aquarius84]

Once I started exploring my options, I could never go back to dating black men. NEVER. My Norwegian man has been a god-send for me, a breath of fresh air. He treats my son like his own and always goes above and beyond for us. At 40, I'm finally receiving the type of romance and good treatment that I deserve. Even my ex-husband (negro male) fell short of his promises all the time.

[@catmouse2882]

Good for you sis 👏🏾 🙌🏾 ❤..... I hope he provides 100% because I read Scandinavian men do 50/50. I hope that not true for you.

[@khadyndiaye5999]

​@@catmouse2882 Im 🇸🇳 that grew up and currently live in norway and youre right. Norway id a country were we focus on gender equality so 50/50 is the part of the culture

[@catmouse2882]

@khadyndiaye5999 yeah...as good looking Norwegian men are...I can't deal with a 50/50 man. My husband is white, Hispanic and he provides 100%. 50/50 is too much like roommates in my opinion.

[@Age_Of_Aquarius84]

@catmouse2882 we aren't married so I don't expect him to provide for me. I've been married already and have no desire to do that again or have any more children. My man is generous and does pay for our dates, trips, gifts, etc. That's enough for me. There's women out here getting nothing but dust from their partners, so I'm thankful that he's not like that.

[@iloveoldschool888]

When you're raised to cater to men and accept being treated like trash, you never know how it is to be treated well.

[@sydlaw2941]

So are we just going to keep ignoring The fact that black men used to call black women uptight and other races of women easy? After a while black women felt pressure to loosen up. .The start of 304 culture started due to black men.

[@DeBellanadi]

They always move the goal post … they are annoying ASF

[@lifeis2171]

Ok kim ka an example.

[@cknight888]

Eventually, you just come to the realization that SOME men just don’t like BW & nothing the girls do will be enough for them. Excuses. Which is fine. But me personally? I will always encourage BW to leave that hyper sexual sh*t at home, collectively, these men don’t deserve sh*t from us sexually, until they have proven themselves imo.

[@cknight888]

You start to realize SOME men just don’t like BW so nothing the girls do will ever be enough for them. Excuses. Which is fine. But me personally? I will always encourage BW to leave that hyper sexual stuff at home. In my opinion, collectively, men in this world don’t deserve that from BW until they have proven themselves.

[@cknight888]

Eventually, you realize SOME men just don’t like black women so nothing the girls do will ever be good enough for them. Which is fine. Me personally? I will always encourage black women to leave that hyper sexu@l stuff at home. Or atleast keep it behind closed doors. In my opinion, collectively, men in this world have done nothing for black women to deserve it, until the prove themselves otherwise.

[@alicia7737]

The first guy…the issue with his argument is that every complaint he has about BW also applies to BM. Many men go after trashy women, and then argue that there is “no good women”, “all women are gold diggers”, etc. when in reality, he simply chooses bad women.

[@reesebloom8093]

🎯🎯🎯 They don't realize that when they're pointing a finger at Blk women, 3 fingers are pointing back at them.

[@NicoleDSK]

I made a similar comment... and that it also applies to white men and white women. Most young people suck at picking partners. Many suck at BEING partners. Then they grow up.

[@MissDoffy]

Thank you 😩😩😩 they cry all day everyday about women being 304 and stuff but are the same men participating in that culture

[@DanitiaAfonsoewa]

Facts

[@mizkomunikation9478]

As I said in my other comment, look back at decades of music, music videos, and films created by BM, and notice a pattern of them celebrating degeneracy. BM spend 75% of their lives chasing h0’s. Then when they’re too old and too broke to meet women in bars and clubs, they start with all these lies about wanting good women. Enough is enough.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

Well. American black women are taught and forced to understand that we essentially have to “ struggle with a man” right out of the gate. We aren’t taught or prepared for “marriage or security “ necessarily- but we are prepared for childbirth and having to carry a man until he’s ready to take on life. It’s so weird. And some black people today even go so far as to complain about black women finally choosing education and financial security via careers over “a man”. These same people also complain about black women having too many babies and being “kids having kids”. I’ve always noticed many “yt” women and couples waiting until everything is completely secure before having children- well into their 30s. That early childbirth scenario mainly happened when women didn’t have rights & were only considered functional adults by way of their husbands or being married.

[@Prismatic9008]

If we don't start dating out, we won't have a classic experience. The only BM I went out with planned dates consistently and still wound up being a pos & used the classic courting experience to manipulate me 🤷🏾‍♀️ Date outside your comfort zone but center no man. BM spend all their time trying to one-up & police BW. Nothing there for us

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Yep.

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

❤

[@maryjanerx]

12:50 bro yall already here and arent taking these ladies out on dates. Or staying around to marry your baby mamas. Dont act like aborting babies is the problem when you a man baby complaining like it aint your fault

[@SibsM93]

True, almost 95% of the time, the reason for the woman deciding to abort is because of the man.

[@neoloanderson6676]

Oh was going to say exactly this, there's millions of black men on the planet and they ain't doing shit😂.

[@meliB96]

I have a college degree, career, never post thirst traps or “challenges” on IG, in Therapy, have a hobby, never had flowers or gifts from a man I “dated”(and I think I look very pretty). So this whole “you women are hoes and that’s why y’all don’t get romance” argument is insane

[@Play4keeks]

Friend, require flowers. Require whatever you want. Don't give access to someone who doesn't feed your soul.

[@womanist_musings]

there’s actually a whole song about this by Jasmine Sullivan called Girl Like Me!!!

[@midnightbluecitrus2687]

How's your attitude?

[@daishawilliams8301]

Listen i used to be one of those black girls who would always play super woman when they were being attacked from society but then I started to see that my ex boyfriend who was black would never stand up for me when his friends would call me out of my name and he would laugh with them and when I got angry at him he would tell me to chill because it's not a big deal and that I was too much of a drama queen and his life would be better if he was with a white girl or latina because they are more nicer than me i broke up with him on the spot that day and my new boyfriend treats me with respect and he is latno and I love him 😊.

[@neoloanderson6676]

❤

[@roxy4325]

Boom. Easy peasy. Bliss 🎉

[@loveusyendi.7621]

Hood stories

[@readyornot27]

Sleepovers with a boyfriend/girlfriend at 16?! That’s wild and not at all normal.

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

I did that ish when I was 16 and I still feel stupid to this day

[@courtneyz27]

Yeah a lot of parents, like my mom, were not playing that sleepover stuff.

[@angelinimartini]

Scrolling the comments to see who’d say anything about this. I’m not black but I can easily say that sort of behavior wouldn’t fly at my house. The girls who had that going on came from very dysfunctional homes. I couldn’t imagine if I had a daughter her even asking me for such a thing… that guy didn’t seem like a prize either. Cheap flowers for something invaluable… hmph.

[@benazirngwa3642]

honestly I am shocked at all these comments😅 I live in Germany and this is totally normal. It’s OK for teens to sleepover at their partners house.

[@soppres7406]

What's even wilder is that we can look at him and tell he hasn't had a successful dating history even with the "experience."😂😂😂

[@SmileyAdventures]

“Plentyyyyyy of BM..” the lies they tell. Like I said, in order to pick better, you don’t pick them!

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

We ALL know they are lying. 🤡🤛🏾👹🤛🏾

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

We all know they are at the bottom of manhood and education. Even they are leaving their preferences "Bitter Baby mommas". Stop listening to them

[@Aliensanonymous_]

Basically!

[@Alyssaj1236]

Lying just to be lying smh He know he wrong for that 😮

[@iloveoldschool888]

👍🏾

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

If I didn’t date outside my culture, I wouldn’t have a classic dating experience. I didn’t receive my first real date and gift until I dated outside my culture. Before I met my man, my ex’s would take me to fast food restaurants, Chinese restaurants, and seafood places. They would then get mad when I didn’t want to sleep with them. Now my man takes me to nice restaurants, we have been to theme parks, museums, and we went on vacation to the Bahamas for my birthday. Last Christmas, my man asked me what I wanted for Christmas and he got me Dior red lipstick. I brought him a gift as well and we exchanged gifts. I remember crying tears of joy when he told me to pack my things because we are going on vacation. I also was cursed out, abused, and cheated on by my ex’s. Black women expand your horizons and date outside your culture or race.

[@trenee23000]

You're bragging about lipstick for Christmas?🙄😒

[@Rizz_Baddie]

@@trenee23000 that’s what she wanted for Christmas why can’t she brag about it ?

[@hersheybliss8620]

@@trenee23000omg you are just plain slow!

[@SynamonSugar]

@@trenee23000the point is he didn’t go to Walmart and grab a wet-n-wild red lipstick because he thought it would suffice, he listened and took her Christmas wish list seriously and got her exactly what she wanted.

[@jewlzn7130]

​@@trenee23000completely ignored the vacation to the Bahamas

[@TheSunOppositePluto]

What was the sleepover guys point? How does a sleepover date get you flowers? No white parents that I know of allow for sleepover dates in high school! A sleepover date as a freshman? No. Nobody is allowing that that I have ever met. That’s not part of the “dating process” for a kid.

[@natashatate3070]

Like what?! 😂 These guys!

[@andylee4299]

😂😂😂😂😂 I need someone to explain.

[@Satin.B]

That just shows you how no black men in the black community knows what courting let alone dating look like. Don’t matter if they are straight or gay you know you aren’t getting nothing out of them (marriage). My grandmother sheltered me heavily and I thank god for that cause these men are treasonous… I’m 21 and I still don’t date she told me to focus on college ONLY that exactly what I’m doing.

[@TheeBratzDollxox]

GOD FORBID If he ever has a daughter!! He’s gonna set her up for a life of failure and misery! 😭😭

[@TinkOutLoud]

His mother was trying to give him away. I swear. 😅

[@TOMIEUNDEAD]

I have always dated outside my race cause I didnt want to bother with black male BS. So all of my relationships have been healthy and I was cared for. My fiance is Ecuadorian and he is by far the best Man i have ever been with ♥️♥️

[@gaudylady7]

I like latin men but don't know much about their culture. It is a huge Ecuadorian population in my area but I'm nervous to really be around them (I grew up during a time when MS13 was very active). What are they like? Do you suggest getting to know about their culture or did you just mutually click😊

[@TOMIEUNDEAD]

@@gaudylady7 He approached me at a mutual friends party. He complimented my dress and said I was beautiful. We talked during the party and exchanged Instagram. My advice is to be open-minded but still vet and make sure the Man isn't crazy lol some Latino Men do be wild but most are very affectionate. Latino Men Love to drink so make sure the Man you want is a happy drinker not a angry drunk. Some can be very protective but make sure that protection isn't a form of control or @bu$3. Other than that go with your gut, a lot of Latino Men do like Black Women that are feminine and girly but can also knock back a few cervesas🍻 lmao 😂♥️

[@Regladeocha]

​@gaudylady7 be feminine and girly like 👆🏽 said. I'm of jamaican and cuban descent. I've dated cuban men, PR, and Dominican men. Learn to salsa dance helps alot too because when you go to a latin party, that is the main thing they'll be doing. You can learn Spanish by watching novelas that way you get the slang and innuendos of hispanic culture. Hispanic men, especially Latin Caribbean men are very family oriented and if his mom is still alive, She's a force in his life. Be open minded and be vulnerable. Many blessings upon you for opening your options outside of BM!

[@TOMIEUNDEAD]

@@Regladeocha Thank you I didn't want to make my comment too long lol

[@amilllion1]

I have the opposite experience, no successful relationships, only dated black American men. All ages ,different lifestyles

[@Shawniece53]

There is no such thing as a nice guy. Tell him no and watch him transform

[@Childfree334]

Bingo

[@qxy7440]

I think there's good guys cause I say no and it's fine. They say no too sometimes and I'm okay with it

[@Shawniece53]

@qxy7440 Your experience alone does not invalidate the others. Good you didn't experience the wrath, some don't get that accommodation.

[@qxy7440]

​@@Shawniece53 I respect your opinion. I also believe I started my sentence with I think. I also believe I said there's good guys. Which means not all of them are good and not all are not good. I also have experience the wrath of transformation with some people. Which is why I said I think there's good guys. Cause I've also not experienced that with some. To echo you; your experience alone does not invalidate the others. Which is exactly my point. And I said "good" not "nice". Most "nice" people are not good people.

[@Shawniece53]

@qxy7440 Very true. I also feel that we have reached a point where the nice/good ones stand idle by an observe the not good/nice. With no words said to them. Until they hold them accountable or call them out, I will say all. Unfortunately, this is where we are. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I see your point as well

[@kaeg.7800]

dating as a black woman is hard because a lot of people assume you should take abuse, disrespect, & harm because you're a "strong black woman." centuries of hate and harmful stereotypes have led to people thinking they know all about a black woman without actually knowing a black woman on a personal level.

[@h8tersos643]

Because it was pushed onto black American women to "hold a man down" whether he's broke or in jail. It's a bullsh*t mentality that was normalized. That's why they feel so comfortable

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Well ladies, the problem is bw have put race before womanhood. Wrong!

[@amaramcneishesq.]

I’m convinced these guys think we have waaaaay more “intimate encounters” than we actually do in real life, as a result of them projecting their insecurities on us for feeling rejected. I’m sick of the lies and slander 🙄

[@matxalenc8410]

I was just saying that. Black women are really kind of prudes. Most are really religious.

[@ibuymyownroses]

“You only want it to come from the side Ya’ll want it to come from.” DUH 😂 Thats literally how dating and romance works! who wants to date someone they aren’t attracted to or don’t want to be with? Women are not obligated to accept advances from men they don’t want. Full stop.

[@KevonnieElaine]

Right😭

[@damngrrl]

Meanwhile, they’re lying about the intent to even provide these positive experiences

[@ibuymyownroses]

@@damngrrl that part!!

[@neoloanderson6676]

Exactly, they harp on about 'preference this and oh that's just my preference' 😂 well I would prefer someone I actually like 😂

[@Thera-Bri]

I was baffled…. Why would I waste a man’s time I don’t want? Only yall do that as freeloaders. If he’s not my type I won’t indulge in what he gives, that’s called a sex worker. They clueless and ignorant. Smh

[@valenciaforshee]

I can't with this topic. The bar is in hell, and I have given up on ninjas. When I was younger, I and nerdy and covered up men still treated me like a blow-up doll. Good and bad guys....and acting like other non bw women aren't doing these 304 things. I'm so glad I'm done

[@orridgenalcurlsncoir9253]

I am you. SMH. So Done with their goddamn hypocrisy too.

[@Animeubssed]

THISSS

[@lluvliness]

This is a classic “If they want to do it, they would” scenario. She never even specified “black men”, but look at who responded.

[@SynamonSugar]

To the planned parenthood guy, that is NOT what Cyn G said!! I swear they take everything out of context on purpose!

[@KevonnieElaine]

Yea I didnt get that one…what did she say?

[@Ashisnotashamed]

I miss Cyn so much 😩

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Right

[@blackvelvet1845]

Some of them cannot comprehend that’s the problem..

[@SupraSoulStar]

​@@KevonnieElaineCyn said look at the femicide rates of black and pregnant women. Look how these men create single mothers, are raised by single mothers and talk down on single mothers. It doesn't make sense to birth your own oppressors, so abort.

[@girly.mimi00]

Expand your horizons ladies. We have options when it comes to men. Other races of men love us. Keep up the great content girl.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Be very careful with other men also. Men are men

[@sourcandydoll]

A lot of these men had me scratching my head during this video…

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

BM out of ALL groups of men are on the bottom, up under the totum Poll manhood

[@JackNutts]

That's what every dude thanks of you.

[@chonmonlon2728]

Gotta love the gaslighting!🙄

[@DeBellanadi]

They lie and make up lies about what we are up to

[@TinkOutLoud]

Have y’all noticed when BW complain/describe/talk about their experience with (the same) BM, it’s “choose better” or “BW don’t know how to pick good men” ? BUT When BM complain/describe /talk about their experiences with (the same) BW, there’s no “choose better”. It’s suddenly ALL BW this and that. And putting BW down.

[@TinkOutLoud]

AND men talk about how they want their women to look and behave. But can’t fathom a woman not being attracted to or meshing well with “the man that would treat them right “.

[@helena3631]

Almost 100% of the community is dust the fatherless rate is like 80% and some folks project that it’s really higher … linking yourself with a black man you have a 80% chance or more of becoming a single parent .. why would you sign yourself up for that struggle it never ends well with that population just chaos and confusion it’s a 🚩when you know better you do better .. I learned from looking around me that who/what I didn’t want to be like and operated accordingly remember a wise person learns from other peoples mistake you don’t have to experience everything

[@TinkOutLoud]

@@helena3631 for some reason it’s hard for certain people to look around and think “this ain’t it”. It might be because it’s, to a point, glamorized.

[@helena3631]

@@TinkOutLoud I agree any women that entertains them is asking for chaos and confusion … it’s not a one off experience the collective is like this

[@Play4keeks]

Sidenote: the guy with the locs hasn't connected any dots. 2 things can be true at the same time. 1. Men can be good men 2. They can also not be for you 3. Men in general want women to settle. 4. If we settle they dont have to change.

[@nmhoskins]

If the black community is UNSAFE, good parents SHOULD shelter their daughters for protection. That maybe a social setback, but at least the daughters are protected from harm from the community.

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

They don’t. The community only cares about the males and protecting them from yk who, they don’t and never cared about us

[@Satin.B]

That so true my grandma had to be over bearing and a helicopter parent. I was heavily sheltered she played no games with this community. I know she never said out her mouth “these men ain’t no good” but she sure as hell said it with her actions and I follow suit. Black women have to shelter their girls or else you get that loser talking about sleeping over with them at 16. So they can get the “true” dating experience. YUCK! 🤢

[@catrinemthethwa6172]

What about young boys...

[@nmhoskins]

@@catrinemthethwa6172 Young boys should also be protected AND taught as self defense.

[@venusbleu5764]

Best thing I ever did was go where I was appreciated and where the things I wanted were mutual. I love being married and I love being married to someone who truly loves my existence.

[@exuberanttarot]

Interesting, none of the men can say they offer that. Not one is saying what he does as a man on date, just his unwillingness. Sounds like no one else did this for you so I won't either. Not good.

[@truettadevil]

All these guys think women should accept any "nice" guy just because they're nice. No mention of sexual or emotional attraction. They never say men should deal with the "nice" girls who want them. Not one of these guys took accountability 💅🏾

[@JukuduB]

FYI...pimping culture has destroyed dating in the black community.

[@MissDoffy]

The same men complaining about not founding "good" black women are the same men that will never care or look at said good black girl because they're too busy giving all their attention to the "stereotypical 304" 🙄

[@catmouse2882]

Bm like my own brother are not good men. Therefore they are meeting their match.

[@autumnwinter5]

Exactly. Always overlooking the good and nice ones in favor of the 304s, then when they’ve had all their fun, had 50,000 baby mamas and they’re suffering from erectile dysfunction, decides to slide into the good women’s DM’s on some “wyd, can we meet”nonsense. Then get mad when they’ve moved on already

[@May-nt3ow]

​@@catmouse2882 What is a 304?

[@Scarab3271]

@@May-nt3ow Slang for a promiscuous woman. Apparently, it comes from typing the numbers on a calculator … you can probably figure it out by flipping the numbers upside down.

[@loveusyendi.7621]

What type of black man is that... Never heard of him

[@Msgoddessk]

i cant watch these fools what a joke

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Exactly🤡🤛🏾👹🤛🏾

[@priscillayg]

seriously, it was so hard to listen to them I almost skipped through. they really thought they said something 🤡

[@hayaq9991]

Thank God ive spent my 20’s dating foreign men..i spent my 32-37 trying to date african american men… it was horrible now im back w foreign If your in your twenties.. date outside your race.. you wont regret

[@Account-br9kc]

this reminds of dating as croatian woman in croatia. I am not black, but similar to this, croatian men treat women awful and they dont appreciate their own women (but pretty much dont appreciate any women). I deeply deeply regret not moving to e.g. USA between 25 and 35. I wasted my youth on my country and accomplished nothing.

[@SibsM93]

Black men don't understand the reciprocal relationship. It's biblical, "men, love your wives as Christ loved the church." "women respect your husband's." Nowadays men want princess treatment and no woman will respect you for that. Men of other races understand the reciprocal type of love. How you treat and love your woman is a huge determining factor.

[@chrisharris2367]

100

[@Karla-op1gn]

Since men say they think logical, this would be a logical situation. If black women outnumber black men and throw on top a good black man. More women will not have the classic dating experience due to the lack of volume of "good black men".

[@Play4keeks]

Thank you. I literally just commented on this.

[@TinkOutLoud]

Full stop!

[@Shillery-n1i]

They never speak logic just word salad and “ Please still date us “ in code 😂 they are selling themselves and nobody is buying because the stats proves they are lemons

[@peachesandpoets]

My first boyfriend was not black and I really think that's why I just can't tolerate silliness. Hate to say it.

[@beautyininsanity421]

Same. Once that standard is set, you're never gonna settle for the tomfoolery of BM. LOL

[@shrelltaylor9270]

Black women just stop choosing them cause no matter what you do how good how bad basic non-basic money no money They’re gonna keep trying to figure out how to use you extract resources and value out of you and still give you nothing in return just leave them alone y’all

[@bres.4806]

Thank you. I'm done with them. I honestly see absolutely no point. It's literally hustling backwards and choosing misery.

[@mandyj2809]

The guy blaming “swirlers” and an eliminate black men mentality, that was a stretch. I don’t think the attitude of not wanting black men around was as pervasive in the last generation. The whole video was just irrelevant, to be honest.

[@briannadickson2884]

That first clown just rattling off nonsense for days. I can't.

[@irene4633]

LMAOOOO I CANTTT

[@TinkOutLoud]

And he’s someone whole azz husband.

[@LauraHackett-b3y]

Notice how she didn’t call any names? … but a hit dog will holler.

[@Runningwolf432]

No she didn't say anything wrong

[@ybnthepoet1260]

Real

[@racheluk87]

Sad to say but I too have only had proper dating experiences when I dated out!

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Same. The black guys I've dated even when I tried to keep it casual always gave me the impression that if I asked for anything more, they were going to expect me to put out for it or that they were going to be really resentful about it later. So many of them just don't have the emotional maturity to deal with women. I really need those sex dolls to get more advanced for them.

[@YahRiYah_Ahava777]

What is a 20v1? What is the Meg the Stallion challenge? What is pp print and silhouette challenge? I dont know what he is talking about.

[@hellohey000]

I don't know either. But he clearly knows and he must like it.

[@YahRiYah_Ahava777]

@hellohey000 It "sounds" like something inappropriate from the way he talking. I am not looking that up, but you are right, if he knows, he must partake!! I didn't think of that!! Ha!!!

[@NurseKayP]

He’s reaching with the nonsense. Basically saying black women are hoes so that’s why they don’t get flowers. He probably likes those things and is full of it. 20v1 are KZbin videos where a guy meets 20 women and asks them questions and I believe eliminates them. The guy usually treats the women disgustingly and they are created by men. I don’t watch but I’ve seen in passing. PP print I am assuming is a womans “print” through their pants. Meg the stallion I have no clue..probably twerking and proving they have the “knees” lol Silhouette challenge is a reach. I believe it’s the videos where the women looking regular and then it flashes to a darkened video where you can only see the blackened figure of the woman. Their silhouette.

[@sheadreadhead]

@@YahRiYah_Ahava777 20v1 is like 20 women vs rappers etc but he also forgot to mention it has 20 men vs women rappers etc 🙄

[@wellersonoliveira5334]

But before "h*e" culture, black women, specially dark skinned women were only seen as "coomodities". Hell, I am almost 30, and I remember hearing this all the time among my relatives, and sad thing is, most of them aren't even white, even for latin america standards.

[@iamoverit4905]

Yeah from the 1960s onward BW started falling for the BS to be "loose" to attract/keep BM because the claim (from BM was that WW, and I even heard it said of latin women, that they were "easier" than BW...so to compete for dusty BW they started becoming easier than those other groups of women and now BW are the face of hoe culture 🤦‍♀️)...sad because I know a lot of WW and Latin women who have way higher body counts than most BW combined but at least they're not dumb enough to advertise it 🤦‍♀️

[@Carameldamour]

The first guy is just living on the Internet. I guess the Internet is representative of the real world for them uh.

[@reesebloom8093]

A lot of them keep their faces stuck down into their phones 24/7. All they do is watch women online & get angry at the women they want, but can't have. They have lost touch with reality & would totally miss a great woman if she were sitting next to him in real life.

[@kaeg.7800]

right? he's acting like every black woman is SexyRedd. he's just another bum on the Internet with a platform.

[@Aliensanonymous_]

Romance isn’t dead. Just broaden those horizons bw. I’ve gotten flowers many times before. It wasn’t from a black man.

[@qxy7440]

African here, Ugandan. Dating a man from the same country and hes actually really good to me. Dated a couple men before from within and out of my race. I can say it depends tbh. Some were worse than others n usually most of those out of my race wanted me for my body, which i wasn't up for. Same with some from my country. But my current partner, really grateful for him. He is a good one.

[@name3950]

The guy talking about swillers, sir who is looking to babies for a dating experience? Weirdo.

[@LisaFrank39]

Most BM don't even know how to plan a date. Quick to take you to some random fast food chain and then get upset when they get anything, wether xes or a second date. The bar is in hell when it comes to courtship. And another thing. Im of BM equating dating with xes. No sir just because you "date" in the hopes of sexual favors doesn't mean women do.

[@jahsdiary]

If black women open their dating pool options and have standards,boundaries,and expectations they’ll get classic dates flowers etc.

[@R0291-l1l]

That first dude lol he is what the r/niceguys subreddit is made for. Guarantee you he doesn't think MEN should just get with any "good enough" woman. He understands preferences and attraction and chemistry for HIMSELF.

[@nosphosferaoneeyedcat701]

Special Ed. Logic, only I get to have choices! How dare women think they have choices! Reeeeeeee, (men everywhere)

[@blaqwabbit]

I'm so tired of this "yall ignored the nice guy narrative"...these guys yall r so sure are nice because they seem geeky to u are just as entitled and abusive. They just seem unassuming to u. There's not an abusive narcissistic asshole this side of planet earth that doesn't think he's a good guy and a total catch. They dont consider for one second that they dnt know nearly as much as they think they do.

[@primadonna2819]

Is this high school story guy demented? Plenty of high school pregnancies to go around and he thinks that because you, as a woman, don't participate in that, you're not gonna have a good dating life. What? I never heard anything dumber!

[@Ccl2tb]

Yes. This is just like when men complain about women not being loyal, but they will only reciprocate that loyalty from the one THEY want and find attractive. It is true however that some women will pass on a guy who may do all the nice things she wants. That may be a result of growing up dysfunctional with poor or no male examples. When you grow up like that, nice treatment feels foreign and will bore you, until you deal with your issues. You're just not used to being treated well, so you keep falling for the wrong ones, then it seems like everyone is that way.

[@NicoleDSK]

Sometimes there's just no attraction, though.

[@omphilemoerane2569]

Unfortunately my best friend was one of those women. Years ago she was seeing a guy who took her on a first date to a proper restaurant (not a fast food chain) and second date he took her to a meet and greet of her favourite author and he bought her a book while they were there. She broke things off with him for superficial reasons. I warned her about how rare the treatment she was getting from that guy is. This was over 5 years ago. She has never been asked on an real date since.

[@DaGreatAri]

The first guy used a screenshot of a non black woman as exhibit A. The argument that you could have had this but you didn’t pick the “nice” guy is the weakest point to state in this conversation. Beware those who claim to be the “nice” guy. Seek men who are kind all that talk claiming to be nice is false. The nice guy is just the male version of a pickmesha.

[@arieljackson1093]

And then when black women demands it we are considered difficult or asking for to much so what do we do other then stay single

[@80soa]

They're leaders but they always need you to take the first step, to be the bigger person, to level up first. Very funny.

[@justjackie4394]

The dude with dreads is willfully ignoring and twisting the sentiments and complaints of divestors. Cognitive dissonance is crazy. 🤣

[@maenad1231]

If you’re a black girl who doesn’t live in a highly black area and for whatever reason attracts men from many different races/ethnicities/cultures for whatever reason then it’s a lot more likely you’ll have something closer to a classic dating experience Idk why they think we have rosters and men were entertaining. Why? Because a small percentage of sexually permissive online advertise the lifestyle? Stop projecting that on all black women. These “nice guys” they talk about aren’t even good people in most situation. Edit- 9:00 this guy is being honest about how black boys are and early thirties black guys often act just like their 19 year old counterparts. My husband loves romance and isn’t afraid to show and express. He cares about me and doesn’t prioritize performing and operating in away to be perceived in a way he thinks will impress men. We are from different cultures. His family are all Slavic/Baltic Russian speaking immigrants, he’s first generation American and they’re all Ashkenazi Jews. Him being Jewish and having to deal anti-Jew sentiments throughout his life actually makes it easy for us to empathize and relate

[@beautyininsanity421]

Jewish men are 👩🏾‍🍳🤌🏽!

[@AA.PF1]

I have always dated outside of my race. I've also dated black men. I will say that men outside of my race whether Italian, Portuguese, Middle Eastern, Japanese (because these are all the type of men that I have dated) have been the most romantic, the most gentle, the most forward thinking and the most passionate. I am accustom to having dates planned for me. Getting just because flowers getting gifts for no reason and prioritized treatment however ONLY when dating outside of my race. It even comes down to being able to reasonably resolve a conflict (which was also not much of an issue) during a simple conversation that would almost not ever end up in an argument. Unfortunately, the black men that I have dated were the complete opposite of this experience. Men outside of my race are just better daters. They typically date with a purpose and they are very passionate. I think all black women should have this experience because they deserve it. I am so incredibly happy that I have always had this experience when dating outside of my race. Unfortunately I cannot even say there was even one black man that I dated, that was any of these things without notice. It always came down to me starting that conversation and telling them. They follow through with planning things, but at some point it stops until I have to bring it up in a conversation again. I do not ever and I repeat, ever have to bring it up in a conversation with non black men. It just happens naturally. It is an absolutely incredible feeling to have a man plan out a whole date for you, randomly bring you lunch, buy you flowers because he saw them and they reminded them of you. It is just an incredible feeling that I am addicted to. You feel incredibly loved. You feel needed. You feel thought about you. You feel he considers your feelings and his own, but he does place you as a priority. When dating a black man again they'll do these things but it's typically after you bring it up as a treatment issue. As well, what is most awkward about it is that they keep score on the things they do for you and feel almost entitled to something in return and it is always sex which was a little grotesque to me. Italian - Providers, passionate (in the bedroom and in love), not too talkative but direct communicators, funny, charming, more action oriented and excellent gift givers and very very romantic. Often struggles with taking accountability Portuguese - Loves quality time, hard working providers, consistent, direct communicators, can be traditional, very passionate and romantic, not great gift giver (need directing but good once they know), Middle eastern - Traditional, passionate, consistent, loyal, hard working providers, not too talkative, Lavish gift givers, slightly too masculine (can be off putting) not as romantic (makes up in the gift giving department lol) (Interesting in the bedroom / selfish), sometimes personal hygiene can be an issue Japanese - Excellent providers, very passionate, calming, loyal, adventurous, gentle, protectors, reasonable gift givers, responsible, very very romantic, (interesting/routine in the bedroom lol), direct communicators, very intelligent, logical thinking White / EU - Excellent providers, adventurous, supportive, reasonable gift givers, needs directing with romance, (interesting / experimental in the bedroom) can be dismissive at times but will certainly correct/change poor behavior to maintain a relationship, direct communicators, sometimes personal hygiene can be an issue Black/African - Passionate, adventurous, entitled, direct communicators, keeps score, lazy daters, not creative, not as romantic, aggressive in the bedroom (which can be very off putting) struggles to resolve conflicts, struggles with comprehending proper conflict resolution, not great providers, high expectation but low ROI lol, too flashy at times, has traditional beliefs but for selfish reasons, not loyal, does not take care of overall health. Often struggles with taking accountability Jamaican / West Indian - Traumatizing and dangerous 🛑

[@empressshan134]

Yep!!! True observations

[@ynesbarrow]

This should be pinned.

[@gertrudechelangat9047]

I'm African. Your description of black African men is accurate.

[@AA.PF1]

@@gertrudechelangat9047 😊 yes I’m black American and have Nigerian in laws and dated both black American and African men and this was my experience.

[@KrissyFizzle]

Jamaican men being classified as traumatising and dangerous kills me 🤣😭😭😭

[@PeanutButtaCookie1193]

The only bw that agree with her are the ones that only date bm. Ive only dated bm and never gotten flowers. The most ive gotten was 80 dollars for Christmas, a video game, and a stuffed animal. Would I like to receive flowers. Yes but do i feel like ill never get flowers no. I left bm alone in 2018. Having a pregnancy scare after being lied to I stopped dating completely. Been celibate since 2018. No regrets. Im interested in non bm but I dont do dating apps. Not getting flowers shouldnt make you feel bad. She's speaking from her experiences.🙄

[@roshellegouldbourne787]

Exactly, they're ONLY dating Black Men. I hate that they speak for all Black Women making us all look bad.

[@PeanutButtaCookie1193]

@@roshellegouldbourne787 Why be interested in dating men that show and tell you that they dont want you? Bm in general despise bw. The femacide rates are proof. I avoid them like the plague. I keep a fake google number and block them. They say they're the most desirable but are attacking women that reject them. Bm cant take rejection because in reality they're the least desired men.

[@PeanutButtaCookie1193]

@@roshellegouldbourne787 I avoid them like the plague. I had to start keeping a fake google number. Bm are the most unhinged.

[@PeanutButtaCookie1193]

@@roshellegouldbourne787 I avoid them like the plague. All they do is try to use women for a place to stay. They hate education and working. All bm do is try to control women. And most of them don't have anything going for themselves. I wish they would leave us alone. They always asking for money or just pestering everyone in general. You can be showing them that you're uninterested and they will still try to get your number.

[@PeanutButtaCookie1193]

@@roshellegouldbourne787 Ninjas don't even want to do the bare minimum. Staying single or dating out are better options.

[@mahogany_honey]

I feel like with this, as with anything, be careful what you accept in your reality... everything in this world is at your fingertips.... don't accept other's reality as your own, only speak of the kind of treatment you want ... ❤

[@BB-jx6hb]

The guy talking about sleep overs and how we behind makes no sense. Its a back and forth from they to out there to there to sheltered 😂 im confused

[@karenmassey8354]

That’s because they’re dating b m. If they date out they will have classic dating experiences. B m typically don’t believe in nor understand the purpose of classic dating so at this point expecting it out of them is fruitless. 5:57 These dudes are so exhausting and remedial. Most b w are not participating in any challenges nor being promiscuous. And non b m DO take b w on classic dates.

[@m-qw7nm]

Priscilla you inspire me every morning. 😭

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Wow, thank you

[@6ftNaturalBeauty]

10:22 “Young black women” don’t know how to choose a man. I’m always curious of why men don’t say that the fathers and the mothers of these grown ass men have failed them entirely! That’s the problem not the women. The question is, why are some of these black men are so in adequate?

[@helena3631]

Most grew up in fatherless home it’s pointless you need both genders .. men see the women doing everything and expect that muling and they mirror the rap videos the collective is not dateable and you will be wasting ur time

[@WacoBeautyQueen]

Ive been s*xualízed since i was a child in middle school by both young black boys and grown black men. My childhood was miserable because of them, i always had to hide behind sports bras and baggy clothes to feel safe. I lived in the hood and if anything were to happen to me, it was always myself to blame. Even when I finally came to terms as a grown college woman that I was constantly haràssssed by them and started dating and opened myself up to my first boyfriend (whom was Nigerian) about how uncomfortable I was about men in my youth touching my breast and constantly talking about them….my ex does the same exact thing IMMEDIATELY as I am opening up to him. My mistake was ever being involved with black men knowing what they instantly do.

[@doeeyes2]

Its a viscious cycle. If theres no father in the home, how are they supposed to learn how to properly treat a woman?

[@jamberry8026]

Who in here looked at any one of them and thought he could be the one? Me neither! Boy bye!

[@CTEvie]

Love the comment section here because i read an article a few years ago with se pretty damning studying. The article was called something like "black women the most unlovable race" & the article pretty much talked about how black women are the last to get married the first to get divorced the highest single mother rate, the highest domestic violence rate etc and that most interracial relationships most were consistent of black men dating outside of their race and that only like less than 5%of black women (don't quote me on five percent but it was not higher than 10%) date outside of their race. And the percentage of black women that did found themselves to be happier me romanced etc the only black lashed they faced was black people criticizing them for not dating in the black race yet statics work against that. I've noticed within myself as a black women and with other black women that made it so hard to date outside of my race (at first) was being told other races of men wouldn't be attracted to me but boy have i found that to be so wrong. So many races of other men do really enjoy being lover boys as one man pointed out and i didn't have to date them i just showed up smelled good and had a good time and i was treated with so much love and respect and over the years as ive stripped the internal hate is my blackness from within and from other people in the black community and lived in my womenhood my experience with men dating or not has been so much more beautiful.

[@catmouse2882]

Bw have been in an abusive relationship with Bm since Reconstruction. Bw need to understand that Bm are NOT our natural counterparts. Bm are like 👽 from another galaxy.

[@beeznhoney4323]

​@@catmouse2882 @catmouse2882 AGREED. I'll add that BWomenGirls were being sold into tribal sl@very BEFORE sl@very was practiced by Europeans and started including the males. Post reconstruction the "menZ" still needed the women to continue on muling, so it's always been a DV relationship. BWomen just didn't understand that they were being tolerated because the males _never LOVED nor liked them as equal humans._ The Moors poor treatment of BWomen provided historical proof of this being true.

[@kaeg.7800]

the first guy literally showed an image of a white woman, so unserious...

[@BENZ_ASMR]

I mean are we not gonna talk about how much they bash Russell Wilson for being with Ciara…and we gonna ignore the fact that when they date out that they ACTUALLY put forth effort vs. with blk women

[@MzBunny2790]

That girl the first guy showed wasn’t even black. So how is she even an exhibit? Also, the creator wasn’t wrong. She highlighted an issue. Most black men classify dating like that, “simp behavior”. Instead, it’s cool to cheat, avoid real dates, and create broken homes.

[@beautyininsanity421]

I've said this before, but I've never dated a Black man in my adulthood, and only one in my teen years. I literally can't relate to a lot of the relationship atrocities my fellow BW talk about. I've had some male stupidity (that's inexcapable, not matter the culture), but these other men have tried to impress me, wine and dine me, take me on scenic hikes, plan cool dates, have bought gifts... the one BM who thought he was getting somewhere with me promised me a new laptop. Did he ever deliver? Hell, no! Whereas one of my WM friends (JUST FRIENDS) shipped me a lovely refurbed laptop when mine died! Not to say that every non-BM is a saint, but you stand a WAY better chance of missing a megaton of toxicity and suffering by avoiding BM. Sad, but true!

[@helena3631]

This black men were never attracted to me ever so the severe abuse multiple baby daddies never happened to me not to say that other men are better and angels they just opperate different and show intentions black men’s rejection is my protection

[@stilljocelyn_]

3:44 Sir have you dated BM?? Obviously not.

[@4thfugee]

Whoa reading the comment section here is kinda rough. Canadian here of Jamaican descent.... I got married about 3 years ago, my wife is from Jamaica. When we were dating I bought her flowers and I would write her cards for her birthday. I know it is rough out here now a days but there are still black men who prefer going out with black women and treating them with respect and dignity.

[@helena3631]

Ur a anomaly as a Jamaican-the collective of jamaican males are dusty… the so call unicorns are not really if we want to be for real whether foreign or ADOS the dust is global

[@megayummyrockstar]

12:02 in the great words of Cynthia G stop birthing your demise… they will talk so much about BW guarding their wombs, but will not ever hold their peers accountable for this fatherless America

[@kellygreenii]

Accountability is called “child support”. Men are always held accountable for their poor decisions. Look at all the homeless men on the streets and in prison. But women have the luxury of blaming men for their own poor choices. To pretend like they were not a willing and enthusiastic participant in the process of making a child with a man who never offered them commitment. Then look surprised when there still isn’t one afterwards. When the consequences come home….

[@kellygreenii]

@@asiathompson1637 Therapy. Now.

[@winterqueenkel]

Big girls don't either. I'm 46 and never had a real date or got flowers. Never a birthday or Valentines date.

[@nosphosferaoneeyedcat701]

Men seem to think that since most women aren't baddies, that they get to get you for free or at a discount! Hope these losers enjoy being alone! I'd rather have a cat any day!

[@BLMWLDM-ic6cc]

I’m so sorry. ❤

[@alisasanders3]

This is very true, it's not talked about. It definitely happens though.

[@Daug555]

You can. You are the company you keep. If you keep getting involved with the same type of people in the same environment, it will never happen. There needs to be a fundamental change to do better, to get better.

[@Play4keeks]

Amen. Which is why a lot of women are staying single.

[@TiktokTownhall]

I finally had this experience but it was from a 50 yr old man… why can’t black men in their 30’s do this??

[@Liz-wz8dh]

You're right. It's the old fashioned guys you're more likely to get it from. All the guys under about 45 just don't get it.

[@wellersonoliveira5334]

Due to structural r*cism, sally when comes to dating, dark skinned black women and indigenous/asian men, seem to be the least wanted "options" its bizarre 💔

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

That’s a bunch of B.S. They claim black men of all shades and white or lighter skinned women( of any “ race”) or the most desired. Smh lol Yet those pairings seemingly have the most dysfunction.

[@nosphosferaoneeyedcat701]

And because of this, a lot of these dudes aren't going to put in any kind of effort when dating!!! Then these same dudes get mad when the person they hit up on rejects them! Knowing dang well they weren't interested anyway! The blatant entitlement is was kills me!!!

[@sheenamah-sheens6233]

all i heard in the responses are excuses. BW please keep moving accordingly and going where you are actually appreciated.

[@shrelltaylor9270]

All he did was contradict himself did y’all pay attention to what that first guy was saying all he did was gaslight and contradict gaslight and contradict

[@sewblue187]

Facts black men treat women according to skin tone and those are the cold hard facts.

[@nosphosferaoneeyedcat701]

Hes acting like theres guys out there on the up and up, that nice guy trope is a dang lie!!! "Nice guys" want the baddies to! They only hit up normie women because they know they cant get the looker they really want! If a woman isnt a baddie then she's the stand in!!!

[@PaperMario64]

None of these men make sense. They are all slow.

[@bookbutterfly2408]

I don't think they're slow -- they're in denial.

[@MissKashira]

I couldn't relate to what the woman said, so I had to figure out why. Guys have been taking me on dates, buying me chocolate and flowers since I was 8. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I really had to think about why our experiences have been so different and it finally hit me due to the men's responses. I knew it wasn't pretty privilege cause I don't have it. I knew it wasn't environment, cause I'm from the hood. The dating market in the black community is a men's market. There are WAY more black women looking for a relationship than black men and when men dictate the market, they know they don't have to put in any effort as there will always be more women dying to get with them. That's how you get the 304 culture the first guy was complaining about. If women can't get any attention at all unless they are willing to behave in certain ways, then they'll behave in those ways in hopes of getting what they want. If guys won't even bother with you if you won't come to their house as a first date, what do you do? And I will admit, I have seen some women prefer certain toxic traits in men which would of course encourage men to display those toxic traits. That's when I figured out why my experience is so different. I am repelled by the kind of man the majority of women like. I'm into shy queer gamer boys. And given so few women prefer those kinds of guys, in their market, I am the minority, so the behavior in that market is dictated by what I want. Given we can't help but like what we like, I'm not gonna tell women to go out and find a man with painted nails and a Warhammer collection if they want to be treated right, but there are other ways to make the black community no longer a men's market. Celibacy and dating out. The fewer options black men have, the less leeway they have to act like garbage. You can demand better of them all you want, but say if you went to McDonald's put your order in and you knew even if you didn't pay they were gonna hand you your meal, how long would it be before people just stopped paying? That's the situation we have right now and while we can't guilt men into not taking free food, we might be able to convince women handing out the Big Macs for free isn't serving them.

[@LuckyEagle640]

Just date out for God’s sake. Why are we limiting ourselves to men who don’t want to give us what we want and need? BM have never prioritized BW.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

5:15 I’ve never heard of any of those challenges he’s talking about. Algorithms work based on what you click on and search for so he must be talking about the types of women HE encounters or seeks out .