Woman tells us what to say to a girl you like when she's upset

[@Gebetino]

Don't apologize Don't offer solutions Don't offer opinions Just let them talk and say "tell me more". That's it. Don't do anything else.

[@sirg-had8821]

"Quit acting like your mother." That'll do the trick.

[@Calamity_Jack]

Yeah, perversely, I've often found that offering solutions to their problems has the opposite effect. It seems to wind them up more and get them even more emotional and defensive. They're typically not interested in actually solving or discussing problems. They feel something intensely and need to let it out. They want you to listen, be shocked/outraged/[appropriate reaction], and agree with them. That usually makes them feel better. Which is so alien to guys, who usually like to just solve problems and be done with them.

[@vidiot9000]

they just want a bucket to vomit their chaos into...don't be that bucket!

[@nathan_something]

..."bucket". colonel : "You got a shit bucket?"

[@SxlMcMartinz23057]

It is not always necessary for men to learn to speak "Womanes" and rush to adapt and "understand" them. That is what good guys do in their eagerness to keep them pleased in the relationship. The truth is that these practices open the door for them to manipulate you. And woe betide you, if you are dealing with a woman with Covert Narcism or Vulnerable Narcism (of which there are many today), since silent treatments, the cold shoulder, is the method they use to dominate you, they will get angry for nothing, and through the guilt and shame they will induce in you, they will begin to control larger and larger areas of you. Soon, you will find yourself stepping on eggshells in front of her, and she will have you as her son. She will make you her bitch. What a man who is in his masculine frame must do is teach her to speak the language of men, and not adapt yourself to her language. You must tell her that she must be assertive, that she must clearly say what bothers her, and that you will use your logic to evaluate whether or not the request is rational. Tell her that you are not a fortune teller or a mentalist. And that the next time she does it, you will take it as mental manipulation. Say it firmly and let her not see any doubts in your eyes. If she does it again, this time, you will not apologize, nor try to find out what is wrong. You will act directly with coldness and do your thing. A third time and you will tell her that you have already expressed what you want, and it is your way or the street. She is there to add to you and not to subtract from you. DO NOT REWARD this behavior, or she will repeat it endlessly, and soon you will not even be able to understand when it is a test, you will live apologizing to her seas of tears, and she, on the other hand, will have more and more contempt for you. If this is a constant in the woman you are with, if she unbalances you, if she envelops you in a sea of ​​drama and irrational anger, and even starts to use this pattern as a factor to trigger "reconciliatory" intimacy, you will recognize that you are in front of a damaged woman, or a Vulnerable Narcissa, since she only gets eroticized by drama, and she takes advantage of it to generate an addictive trauma bond in you, in order to control you. Then you should seriously think about escaping from there, because it will be a real pain for you for the rest of your life. And you will be cheated on with another man who tolerates her dramas.

[@k98_zock_tv47]

The secret is - there is no secret to their language. Why try to pamper them, if there is no effort in understanding the male view? So, you are right in all you wrote

[@alimd9447]

No, to sone extent I disagree. Women wants drama as men wants sex. Using all masculine rational techniques to remove drama is pointless....drama is part of life as sex it is

[@freedyorozco8451]

Never ask them !!!!

[@aijunky]

It's like helping her chip away at the resistance until she's able to let it out, with each ask. I understand it. This maybe would have confused me a couple years ago. But i actually understand it now.

[@kentjohnson873]

In other words. Extra and endless work. For NO benefit. No, thanks.