Restaurant Etiquette: Ten Things Elegant Women NEVER DO at Restaurants!

Be honest, ladies. How guilty are you of doing these? perhaps you're a seasoned diner who knows the do's and don't like the palm of your hand.
This is a list of 10 things that you should refrain from doing at restaurants- whether it's your local pizzeria or a 3 Michelin star restaurant, if you display these bad habits you could risk appearing unrefined. By the way, this list is non-exhaustive!
Vivienne Abena is the founder of Woman Of Elegance, a worldwide finishing school which teaches women from all corners of the globe how to be refined, sophisticated and elegant.
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#restaurantetiquette
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#TenThingsElegantWomenNEVERDo

[@mimid.8346]

1. Never complain about the price 2. Never refuse to tip 3. Never bring outside food and wine 4. Never treat waiters and staff as subordinates 5. Never interrogate the waiting staff 6. Never fail to communicate dietary restrictions carefully and early 7. Never do the service job for them 8. Never display bill antiques 9. Never impolite when airing our dislikes 10. Never ask for toothpick and remove food from our teeth

[@angwistephanietv]

Thank you so much for this outline

[@Blessed0480]

Thank you for the outline

[@lalaheart76]

What if they mess up with the bill 💵? I will dispute that immediately

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Thank you for taking the time to tell us this!

[@brotheramos1613]

@@lalaheart76 🤣🤣

[@Magpieme98]

Hi, Vivienne…it’s Mary in Florida. Salmon from the Norwegian fjords! 😂😂😂 You had me literally laughing out loud! My husband is in the hotel business and he’s a Food & Beverage director. You’d be shocked at some of the things he’s dealt with. 🌺😘

[@jessicamaeparkin8093]

I went out for a family dinner for my 21st birthday a few years ago. I’d never been so embarrassed in my life at the way they all behaved, complaining loudly to each other that there was not enough food, waving food around on there forks. This experience is all that comes to mind now when someone mentions a 21st birthday, not a happy memory. Worst of all my best friend was at the dinner with us and it was her place of work. They were so disrespectful for the whole duration I’ve never been out for a meal with them again.

[@deegassaway6854]

😔 I'm so sorry hun. I can imagine your embarrassment but I also find this story quite endearing and familiar, (in a good way) 🥰 families are precious. All unique and some more colorful than others. 🙏 praying you still felt loved on your 21st, it's such a blessing to be surrounded by family. (Even when they're UTTERLY embarrassing. 😩🤣😁) ✌❤🙏

[@starrjohnson1327]

That's horrific. I have two family members like that. Most people don't invite them. People have told them about their behavior. They don't care. So rude.

[@Anika99356]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[@andrachin3272]

We all need people who can help us rub off the hard edges and who honestly have our best interest in mind when they do it. Thanks for your help Vivienne. 🌹🌹🌹

[@healthychick9450]

As an elegant lady with food allergies, I absolutely will ask the staff about the ingredients. I'm not rude or condescending but I need to confirm everything before I order since I will be the one to deal with the physical ramifications. I'm always gracious and friendly and make the staff smile, to the point that they enjoy helping me. I also do as much research as I can before going to an establishment, this way I'm ready and things are seamless.

[@Wiiniihvlog]

I also don’t like when guest complain about the price. 😒 By the way your top is beautiful! 😍

[@martinabevi]

About point 3: Even in these internet era, as a food allergic person, I tend to bring food with me always. Normally I eat after or before the meal, outside. I often ask about the food, and often times the food workers don't know nothing about the food they're serving. This also in middle and highend restaurants.... About not spliting the check: I don't drink, I should pay for others bottles/driks anyway? I don't think that is fare...

[@verycherry4459]

I have food allergies too and often all I can have they carry is a plain baked potato if they actually have that on the menu. That's not a real meal. And I can only drink water. I don't want to split someone else's meal when they are eating $60 worth of food and $30 worth of drinks.

[@IevaKambarovaite]

What a wonderful video. This reminded me of a little story my mum told me. She comes from a village and her auntie took her to a fancy restaurant for the very first time when she was a little girl. When they brought the bowl, so she could wash her hands.. she drank that water. Bless her little heart.. Glad this video is here, so ladies can avoid embarrassing moments like this. It still warms my heart when I think about it :)

[@Timewithmabel]

😂😂this is funny and sad at the same time. She will never forget

[@patsy-lc7tq]

😂😂

[@seraphinenthenya5787]

Am from Kenya and am very glad that have found this platform the message is so enlightening

[@hexxabeah7984]

I got in the habit of showering twice a day now instead of once and I love it , I'm slowly applying what I'm learning here and I love my results.😊😊

[@halcyondays8945]

Me too!!

[@hexxabeah7984]

@@halcyondays8945 💙

[@kdtabb]

Where is this video point?

[@naomimulamba2034]

I'm agreeing with everything you are saying however when eating other people, not everyone orders the same thing in quantity. I had a situation where the person ordered twice the amount of food as everyone else but she insisted in splitting the bill when it wasn't fair for the rest of the group. I'm scenario's such as this one, I would rather getting my calculator and pay for what I have eaten to avoid drama 🙃 😅.

[@debbieadeoye]

Good tips! However for #8 (never displaying bill antiques), I think that is situational which you explained. I am a very considerate person and I try not to do things I wouldn’t want done to me. If whoever you’re out with orders something more expensive than yours then I don’t think it should be an obligation or expectation to split the check evenly, unless there’s an agreement. People have budgets when they go out (at least I do), and it would suck to find myself in an uncomfortable situation. I think it all boils down to respect and consideration. I love your videos, they are always so enlightening!

[@kimberlyrobinson1978]

I’m not splitting the bill equally when everyone else is ordering expensive drinks all night and I only ordered a Caesar salad and ice water. It’s happened to me once and I won’t ever let that happen again ! 😂

[@starrjohnson1327]

Exactly.

[@angelalang3750]

I went out to eat with a group and the bill was almost $2,000. I ordered a $50 steak and one drink. I paid for what I ordered. 😂

[@veronica_sm_]

I am so grateful that I have found your channel!! Although I am aware of many things you mention I still seek to make my manners and way of being, moving, speaking and behaving more lady-like and more feminine. Thank you so much for your impact❤️

[@SomeRandomBlackWoman]

The toothpick clip 😂. Yes, please don’t flick the food from your teeth in others plates 😂

[@saarania]

I am a British expat and I learned very early on that British table manners are very different to American. A lot of what American’s consider normal is considered rude by British standards. All these points are universal though! 🙂

[@eza6940]

I agreed. Most Americans are loud.☺️

[@brackitaclemons6793]

Like what?

[@saarania]

@@brackitaclemons6793 Eating with your fork in your right hand and cutting your food with the fork instead of fork in left, knife in right. A lot of Americans put elbows on the table which is considered rude in good British company, and don’t put their knife and fork together on their plate to signify they’ve finished eating. There is also a lot of people at an American table all talking over each other at the same time, which is also considered rude by traditional British standards. Eating off each others plates and sharing food seems to also be fairly normal in America but and is rude in Britain. There are a lot of rules around hosting dinner guests as well that are different between both countries. In contrast, when I first moved to America I believe I was considered a little quiet, prim and stand-off-ish which is rude by American standards, where as I thought I was just being polite and courtious. It’s interesting to note the differences!

[@carm9716]

My husband and I treated our parents to a lovely French dinner years ago. My MIL complained about everything on the menu and loudly asked if we could take her to White Castle instead. We were mortified.

[@isay207]

Typical mil

[@aesinam]

I love point 4. Treat everyone with respect.

[@AngeliqueTraveler]

So refreshing! I think we have all had our off days, occasional bad manners when our pet peeves have been utterly irritated... but listening to your voice, your elocution, your poise and your grace is soothing to listen to.

[@habibaabdi9517]

Tvsw

[@debspringchannel831]

I put myself down for having to work in Hospitality for a while . ..but it helped sooo much ...now I can spot all the No No's in Restaurant Etiquette!😑😑😑 * I wouldn't recommend anyone to pay for the service charge * because it doesn't go to the servers ...but to cover Restaurant expenses !!! Please do your research! If you had an great service tip your waiter/ess with cash and kindly ask to remove the service charge .* it is not mandatory anyway only the Owner and the Government benefits from it👌

[@naomi_cmfrancis]

Thank you Vivien. Am learning alot I follow you from Zambia Lusaka Africa 🇿🇲🇿🇲. Am definitely an elegant lady with these lessons.

[@kingsdaughter83]

Regarding the tipping tip: VERY TRUE. But to add to this, in Japan- you don’t tip. It’s deemed as rude/disrespectful.

[@nandabenevides]

I think it would be interesting if you did " what would I do in that situation". For example: What would I do if my family members mock of me because I'm single. You could ask for and choose the best situations from the comments.

[@meanhe8702]

It drives me crazy when people don’t know how to tip properly! I paid the tip on a bill (that wasn’t mine) to a distraught college student working their way through college. She served a large party of a basketball team, who stiffed her on the tip (service charge) ate hundreds of dollars worth of food and took up a lot of time in her section. (Another no-no, sitting too long in a server’s section, they are losing money while you are taking too long) Time she could have been turning those tables over. It was horrible, and they didn’t receive bad service, they were just ill mannered and cheap.

[@starrjohnson1327]

You're so sweet. I've done this on dates. If my date doesn't tip I find the server and tip❤

[@africanTHEfire]

The road to 200k!!!. I cannot stand it when people keep nitpicking at food they ordered and cantankering with the waiter and manager. If you didn like you meal but the food Is perfectly fine, just concede the loss and learn It is not a dish for you !!!! Some people need to relax

[@jenniferphillips-mcshine832]

ĺl

[@jenniferphillips-mcshine832]

ll

[@catylynch7909]

Well selected, and well presented. I would add a suggestion that elegance is compromised, when ... apart from a serious emergency ... a cell/smart phone, is brought forth during public dining.

[@Necky.N]

The one of toothpick got me laughing. Thanks for sharing beautiful,I enjoyed watching like always

[@scareglare]

I LOVE THIS VIDEO! I don’t hear ANYONE else talking about this and approaching it the way you do. Love love love and very useful!

[@BaykenjiHealth]

Say thank you with a smile to the server when s/he gives you your dish or pull your chair. Thank you is such an elegant expression

[@Olesia_Kurilo]

Dear Vivienne, We are so thankthfull for your teaching!! We need this guidance!!

[@MarleneBertrand]

These are all wonderful tips. And, Tip #1 is my #1 pet peeve. When people do this, I get so embarrassed I want to run off and hide so as not to be part of the scene. :)

[@AdaUnleashed]

“You risk being served ice cubes” lol that was hilarious.

[@obiageliezike2474]

Thanks elegant Vivy. I love the way you speak.

[@eza6940]

I was invited by a friend a in group party. I did not order anything, food or drink, I just drink water because I ate before leaving my place. When the bill came, the friend that invited me asking me to share for the food and drinks. We are 12 in the group and I’m the only person who did not order anything. It was a “huge” bill. I did not share any amount because of the obvious reason. I mentioned to her that during our Group conversation, she told us that she will pay everything and we just go that agreed place and not to worry🙁 After that incident all of the 11 persons she invited on that night never attended any party with her 😁

[@sherylmattocks6015]

Hello Vivian, I am hoping that you find it possible to do a follow-up video on dining etiquette relative to use of utensils in both a formal and informal setting. You would be amazed how many people lack the basic knowledge. Thank you in advance.

[@noemimatias3729]

I love your etiquette videos. Thanks for sharing. 👍🏼

[@africanTHEfire]

Excellent video. Especially about splitting the bill but I always say when with a gentleman an elegant woman never pays!!! Beauty and company is the payment

[@isay207]

Whoever does the inviting pays

[@Purrl1775]

Tipping in my country is kind of seen as disrespectful. It is as if you’re looking down on the person serving you. As if they don’t get paid enough and are asking for your money to compensate that.👀 One time I told a shop owner to keep the change and he was so angry at me. So if I went to a country like the US, I’ll be sure to keep your advice in mind 😅

[@chloewinfrey]

I love the way you speak, I am not English and i am just learning hearing your accent and the elegant words you use :)

[@michellesantiago820]

I remember one time that I went with people at the gym. I had mentioned that I was looking at the menu beforehand. They gave me a look that I cannot pay and cheap. Funny thing at the end of the dinner they are having difficulty paying for their bill. That is why , do your research.

[@mavoolumma]

Thank you Viv, I enjoy everything you teach 🥰

[@mondeliyungu5711]

Thank you for another great video 📹. Great tips.

[@sadiak7205]

Thank you so Soo much for all your video ! We really appreciate ! 💞💞💞💞😁😁

[@kata920]

You are a breath of very fresh air. Thank you so much.

[@ginasantos1219]

I really like this information. I wish there was a video just like this for wait staff. I love your channel. ❤️

[@dearbrave4183]

Great tips ♥️

[@jessicamazloomi3057]

So happy I found your channel.

[@benedicthmbala6239]

You're super Vivian. Thanks 🙏 so much for these tips

[@SweetCicely]

I ❤️ your accent!!!!!!! This is the only reason why I subscribed. Please continue with your lovely voice!

[@lolajacomino6574]

Thank you for this video, very needed. I experienced seeing a lady taking her own hair and starting to floss right at the table 😮

[@sannyvain7196]

Tipping is a must ! Although the service won’t always be top tier , tipping is proper etiquette .

[@LotachiFitMum]

Welldone Vivienne! Thank you for this

[@gabbieumeh]

Thank you Mrs Vivienne...I've learnt so much from your videos...love you...

[@sakuraesther6309]

You are so good at what you do .Pure talent a good teacher ,I am sure you can tell from how your chanel has grown .Pure Pure talent

[@jalexiaofori4455]

your Ghanaian I'm here for it 🙌. no wonder why you're stunning ❤

[@tepolaraicebe3419]

thank you. Learn a lot today from your video.

[@nualanicghearailt8011]

Lovely blouse - it looks lovely on you. Just a suggestion - if you were to move the flowers a few inches further over, we could see them fully. They look lovely and are a great touch

[@maricelg777]

Thanks Vivianne 🤍🌸🎀☀️👒

[@eza6940]

New “Subbie” here. Thank you for all the info😊 I always end up paying most of time because no one is bringing out their wallets😂😂. Friends sometimes are full of free-loaders😂😂😂

[@TheLadyOfTheNorth]

Lol Miss Vivian, I’m trying to imagine diabolical food 🤭.

[@emerald2046]

Thank you, Miss Vivienne 💜

[@shokouhmostofi2786]

Love the quality of your videos ❤

[@MaggietheSubstituteTeacher]

I really enjoy this channel thank you!

[@lizzyful56]

I’ve learned a lot, thank you Vivienne ❤️‍🔥

[@judystyls]

I enjoyed watching this, Thank you so much❤

[@reneecrotty6910]

Oh my goodness when you said complain about the price I was like YAAAASS!!!! I hate that!!!!!!

[@theladyglo4477]

Thanks for these great tips elegant lady 😊

[@rolandsun542]

" WOW SO EXCELLENT "

[@salahguidoum9306]

🎉🎉thank you very good

[@prettycolours17]

Your channel is best❤

[@Lucy-ql7tt]

Love this video I've watched is so many times ☺️❤️

[@nenesidibe1424]

Thank you Vivienne 🥰🥰 I love your top could you please kindly share the link? Thank you

[@shoot4themoon406]

Bill antics! I love it!

[@MichellSimpleBalance]

Love all your videos

[@alungakabuasa]

Thankyou Vivian for the wonderful insights. Very curious of your background, if you don’t mind sharing.

[@thandekambhamali6074]

I took note of point number 7. Thank you

[@gemineyes2]

I love your vocabulary 😍

[@N77-s5k]

I like all your videos & I like your character. Generally I don’t subscribe that much. But u r so kind I’d like to raise my feminine energy like u

[@Juliananaki100]

Ahaa!... Thanks Vivian; am learning something.

[@gabriellacompany]

Appreciate the tips Queen!

[@AmarachiDuru]

Wow! I love it. Thank you.

[@viviandokli2205]

Awww Thank you Aunty Vivian My name❤️

[@bookbutterfly2408]

#7 is the only one that's new to me 😯 that's because I legitimately thought that type of behaviour was kind

[@msniki7103]

This was great! Thank you 🙏🏽

[@thequeenmidas]

Excellent 👌🏿 This entire list is a summary of my dining pet hates🙈

[@shaarjohnston7375]

I know this information is mainly for women, but this lesson is really for men.😮

[@AdaUnleashed]

This came in so handy. Loved every bit of it, Vivienne. Thank you!❤️

[@Blackroseofplue]

Make take is if everyone order roughly about same in price then split bill, if not separate bills

[@manyitiana]

This is indeed helpful to me. Thanks

[@tormapea1987]

Greatly appreciated enjoyed it

[@a.b.2405]

It would annoy me when the people I’m having dinner with complain about how expensive the food is.

[@intentionaltia9842]

All of these tips are common sense!

[@babylonisfallen5142]

Also don’t say “I’m full” and push your plate away. Wait for it to be picked up.

[@ohsostylish60]

Excellent video Vivienne!! What do you do when you are with people who want to split the bill according to what they each had? (I think that’s ridiculous too) what is a polite way of saying that you would rather split the bill evenly, without sounding disrespectful? xx Joanne

[@sakuraesther6309]

I would love to disagree .I do not think I should pay half when my friend took a bottle of wine coating 50USD plus expensive sea food while I had a simple Mac n Cheese and a 4 dollar glass of wine .Everyone should pay their own share .

[@sakuraesther6309]

Also some poeple would take advantage of other people .I have seen it .People ordering bottles of hennesey while others had normal alcohol yet expected to pay more .It is not okay

[@ohsostylish60]

@@sakuraesther6309 I am referring to instances where there is not much difference in what is ordered, as Vivienne states, when there is significant extras, like caviar, supplements for extra seafood, expensive wine etc. these should be paid for by the individual.

[@hexxabeah7984]

I shared thank you Vivienne 🙏🙏🙏🙏💙💙💙💙💙

[@ThroughTheHaze]

Although it seems uncouth, luckily for me, me and my friends get separate checks. For people my parents age, they split the bill, but for me and my friends we get separate checks. I have been in graduate school, so I am more behind financially than many people my age. Also, I don't drink alcohol and I am not much of a meat eater. So my bill is typically a lot less than other people's would be. My parents used to be friends with people who had much much more money than they did. When they would go out to eat, they would split the bill, but my parent's friends would order really expensive bottles of wine and multiple appetizers. My parents didn't eat/ drink all of that but would be forced to cover part of it even though they didn't consume it. I think this can be a tough one, especially these days because some people are doing worse financially than others, but we all need to have social interaction.

[@rosemaryonyango3173]

I like 'interrogating' part. Hahaha.. the toothpick bit.

[@esthermutua1287]

Thanks for this is so informative ✍️✍️

[@ArabellaEixas]

I like your video so so much

[@kyaskornerasmr3616]

The toothpick rule made me laugh😆❤.

[@doreenbenson2197]

thank you so much darling❤❤❤❤