women are "entitled" because we need to be

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In this episode, Elle delves into the controversial topics of escape bank accounts, alimony, child support and the misogyny that often surrounds these subjects. She challenges societal taboos and calls for women to demand equitable treatment, particularly in cases of infidelity. Elle also discusses the role of marriage as a form of business and the necessity of splitting assets fairly upon dissolution. She highlights the importance of women having their own separate bank and investment accounts after marriage. Throughout the episode, Elle encourages women to value themselves and recognise their worth, while warning against lowering standards for the sake of validation from men. Tune in to hear Elle's fearless take on these critical issues.

[@noxturnae]

After the "he isn't an abusive alcoholic, why are you leaving him :((((" the bar changes to "he just hit you slightly, it's not like he broke your ribs" to "you provoked him to beating you to half-death" to parts of your body being found in different bins all over the city

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Most people are not familiar with the cycle of violence. Can't entirely blame them.

[@beautifullEternal]

@@VeeKayGreenerGrassgirl how. Even Oprah had a whole couple episodes about it.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@@beautifullEternal 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@tspencer661]

The young woman should have asked the man what a woman should do if the husband didn’t abuse her, but abused their children. That’s how it is in some relationships. (Been there, divorced that.). Dad won’t touch the mom, but he has no problems putting his hands on their children. Obviously, the man’s history lets us know that he’s a physical abuser.

[@elenalizabeth]

Yeah my father tried to claim “he wasn’t abusive because he never broke any bones or cause us to bleed”… apparently he forgot about the bruises and everything else though, as he thinks he “tried his best” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@morjana679]

As a girl who was raised by a single mother I literally always thought a 50/50 relationship was the right way to go and I had no idea that man providing was even a thing. I could have been the perfect victim for a low level man. Then I got so lucky I still can't believe till this day. In my first serious relationship my boyfriend wanted to pay for all of our dates and it made me feel like a true princess. Then as he finished his studies and progressed in his career he gradually started to pay all our expenses and he loves this even more than I do. He's proud of being able to provide for the both of us. Due to the safety and stability he created I can be a soft and feminine women my mother never got the chance to be.

[@dariafotina3700]

I’m so happy for you!! ❤

[@reinabeexo]

Babes I am so happy for you may you n your family continue to be blessed 💋

[@Laura-Yu]

That is beautiful and something I would love to experience. Sadly the first guy I was seeing more extensively got angry that I wasn’t being 50/50 with paying the dates so we stopped seeing each other. Thank god I have standards and never did anything sexual with him 😮‍💨

[@mudandglitter1609]

I love this for you! You absolutely deserve a good life. I'm thrilled you found your person, and he sees your value ❤

[@matildaomondi3551]

this is so beautiful i'm crying😭😭😭💓💓💓💓

[@Funeral_Mannequin]

What people (men) don't seem to understand is that I'm not picky because I feel entitled to a 6ft tall, "Chad" prince charming type bf with a 6 figure income who does everything for me. I don't even care about fancy dates and such because I'm more of a homebody and I mostly just want to spend time with the other person. I'm picky because I'm scared of being used and taken advantage of or having my heart broken. I don't want to end up in those "that phase when you start hating your girlfriend" "pumping and dumping her" type of situations I see. I'm scared of attracting manipulative people. I'm scared of being with somebody that doesn't really love me. It's also extremely difficult to detect signs of instability or abuse because I have autism and can't read social cues very well. I feel the need to be on guard or picky because I'm genuinely really scared of being used or hurt or falling for the wrong person.

[@ArtemisDeer444]

💯 me too 🙏

[@che4840]

yeah its easy to attract the wrong people with autism because we’re conditioms to recognize that if people exhibit a specific type of behavior, that must mean they’re good people. No… My strategy is to return to using my strengths. I don’t need to try to feel people out or whatever other normal people do. I use my strengths in fact-checking, logic, art of debating considerately, and application of concepts. If a man or woman cannot bypass these gates that I have set up. If they start trying to elicit dramatic emotions unreasonably without reason without the ability to make sense; without the ability to articulate how what why when where…they’re not meant for me anyway. I realize that not many people are equipped with the ability to really think or even articulate and it would already be impossible for me to even be friends if they can’t even do that.

[@ArtemisDeer444]

@@che4840 I hear you. I can only feel comfortable with someone if I feel seen and understood. It has to feel right first, the first thing I notice is the energy dynamics... It's a full sensory experience, which is why I don't do crowds... Then their actions have to align with their words. Believing "if they love me then they must be good for me" and their words over their actions, is the very naivete that has gotten me stuck in bad situations and relationships, and that's what I now feel the need to protect myself from. I learnt that a really difficult way. And if they can't keep up with my mind, yeah, it's really difficult to make a connection.

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

Yes, the top thing to look for in a man is if he makes you feel safe. Don't worry about looking to picky, you will find the One eventually, and until then live your best life

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

@@cherxii4781 hi pickmeisha! She specifically said that for her being picky doesn't mean trying to find a rare, highly attractive man, she is just avoiding dating by being picky because she is scared of getting hurt.

[@ari88elle]

"It is the unseen labor of women and most often uncompensated labor of women that propel men to heights of success" preach. Also, I saw a reel the other day where the girl had a bucket of grapes. She made the analogy: I poisoned one of these grapes (while stirring them up inside the bowl with her hand), one bite and you die. It's not all grapes. You can maybe try to check each of them for signs of the poison, but you'd have to take your time, look very closely, and risk poisoning your fingers. But like, most of the time, you can eat them without an issue, they're nutritious and healthy and all of that. It's not all grapes, but if you bite the wrong one, you die.

[@destroyraiden]

they should really switch this analogy around poison 98% of the grapes ask them to find the right one!

[@psychotic_lovers9281]

That’s a good one!

[@gunpuppy3533]

Yeah, but that analogy is gender neutral, it applies for men and women equally.

[@ari88elle]

true, but we gotta look at the material reality, and in the material reality of things, statistics have proven again and again that relationships that go sour tend to go the worse for women both in terms of violence and finances, which even makes a good parcel of them still can't leave physically abusive relationships because they are afraid their children won't have enough to eat. No one (at least, I'm not) is saying that men don't suffer from patriarchy, they do, and badly; what I'm saying is that women's suffering has factually a higher change of death/poverty by the hands of a man. Men are not necessarily the villains, but there is a structure setting things (and minds) in place that we have to look at and point out so we can shift things for the better. That's why those analogies are more often than not associated with the feminine being the recipient of violence and the masculine as the perpetrator of violence. The structure makes sure that we are not equal, just as it makes sure that people who are not white are not materially equal to white people. Also, for example, saying that climate change is important doesn't mean saying that the war in Congo is not important; saying that some women's issues are important does not mean some men's issues are not important: one thing doesn't nullify the other. Men's issues under patriarchy are important in their own way. But this channel is a channel for speaking and reflecting about (a section of) women's issues. We are all free to disagree here, of course, and disagreement is often the birthplace of newer and better ideas, but it doesn't seem you're coming from a place of adding to the conversation. The same discourse that says "oh but men suffer too" (which is not a lie) is the discourse that blames women for being raped or killed because somehow their very existence is unsafe and they "should have known better" . But if they protect themselves, if they are suspicious of their male companions on dates or parties or whatever, then they are man-haters and "men suffer too, you know? You should be kinder". It makes me wonder if this discourse is really meant to push men's issues with patriarchy to a sollution, or if it's used only to try to invalidate women's issues when those are pushed to the forefront of a conversation. I think the answer is obvious. I was not excluding men, but rather placing the focus on (a section of) women, because this is the place to do so.

[@gunpuppy3533]

@@ari88elle I see everything you’re saying. But a big part of why women are more at risk is purely because of the fact that men are physically superior, not because men are worse or more violent. Data shows that women initiate physical violence in relationships more often than men, men just do more damage because they’re naturally stronger. Domestic abuse rates are pretty much dead even between men and women in terms of both victims and perpetrators.

[@azelialaw]

Spoiled girly and now attorney 😈 here- in family law the courts literally take into account keeping the children and the wife at the same standard of living before a divorce b/c courts “theoretically” understand homekeepers contribution, even when it comes to businesses the partner who stays home is entitled to part of the business portion because their work at home makes it possible for the other partner to work. Even more the things that can happen when someone doesn’t pay child support (lose their passport/go to jail) ect bc the court gets that if you have a kid you better take responsibility for raising that kid through financial contributions

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you for sharing attorney bestie🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@azelialaw]

@@therealmanifestelle of course 🥹💖 thank you for reminding me of my worth constantly🫡

[@sk8oasis788]

I wish you would have been my attorney

[@unicorn73212]

Yeah but it's still very sexist and demeaning because the father premium should apply to the mother as well she's the one actually giving life to those babies not him he's not going to have to check into the E.R for 24 hours and push a baby out of his body or risk his health. So why should he be the only one to get it if all he did was plant a seed inside her? How do they know it's really going to his family and not just him? Some guys are scam artists too so they would take advantage of that system and not work a very good job they would just grab a job as a check out boy at the supermarket to insult her intelligence. What if you got a husband that chooses to stay home too because he's disabled and the wife can still work side gigs? Why should women be shamed for trying to take care of there family just because they can't build a house? Shouldn't she get that premium too so that she can pay the father for his contributions at home as well? If homemaking was really a job or role then it would go both ways basing a policy off the patriarchy system is no longer accurate because women can work jobs too now so it's actually discrimination to only offer that to a woman if she decides to be a good little girl and stay home. It's not a real paycheck in fact it's an insult to her womanhood when you treat women like cattle that can just be fed, paid a little bit and housed just so the husband can run off for 8 hours a day and be free from domestic labor in the home. The idea of some weird guy buying all my tampons and beauty supplies is creepy and unatural. There's absolutely nothing lady like or feminine about it because men don't care about beauty supplies for women and they think women can just live off one tiny paycheck and feed an entire family. Even when women allow this to happen men still treat them like dirt. It's a lose lose situation for her so they should probably take that premium away from men too sense it's no longer 1922 women don't have to be homemakers anymore in order to survive. In fact men should probably be required to make three times the amount of rent and have a really good credit score to get that premium too because it encourage men to be lazy and work mediocre jobs that women are hassled to do for free. I've worked some of there jobs too men need to stop manipulating the system because they wouldn't be alive to make that system if it wasn't for there mother giving him life.

[@RaqueLauren]

Pleaze! The courts enable bad men. They do not support women at all. Plz open your eyes so you can help stand up for us. Why do you think child support is owed directly to mothers rather than it being federally funded and owed back to the govt???? Because they know these men aren't paying and they do not care if women and children are owed. They don't care when women and children suffer. If men owed the govt directly you'd better believe they'd hunt him down and get their $ outta him. But when he just owes a woman? They let it slide for yeeaaars.

[@HolisticManifesting]

It's weird when you meet a man who does that for his daughter but wants you to be broke and fully depend on him. Ummmm sir....

[@therealmanifestelle]

Omg 😳 this

[@kafigaro]

​@@MB-xv7erit depends of the culture they are from

[@ChronicleNexus786]

@@kafigaro My dad made my mom quite her education, didn't let her have a Job and made her completely depend on him. But he actively supports me in my education, he tells me that he wants me to become an independent woman who isn't dependent on any man. Also he says me to be with a very successful men.

[@FelicMore24]

​@@ChronicleNexus786 A balance life is a content life. Good luck sister and remember you are the prize.🥂🍾

[@lunangellus]

@@ChronicleNexus786same. That’s so weird

[@yenfr5306]

That is so true my husband spoils our daughter and he even said it himself. He is trying to set expectations really high so not just any man can get with our daughter. She is sweet and a good girl. The last thing he or I would want is seeing our daughter cry because the guy is a complete scumbag. My mother always said women are like flowers and men are like gardeners. The good ones will make their flowers bloom beautifully while the bad ones will make their flowers wither away and basically die in their hands.

[@nanajoseph7954]

That’s so sweet ✨🌸 and what a beautiful and interesting analogy.

[@mpGreen03]

I wish my dad did that for me 😩

[@anastefan]

Honest, I think both women and men here are both flowers and gardeners, as they both need to work on themselves to be better people and to have a healthy relationship

[@mpGreen03]

@@anastefan yup, I agree with you. I don't like to put ppl into boxes based on gender, that's what started patriarchy and all shitty social upbringing of both men and women. Just be you and work on yourself.

[@hannahk.summerville5908]

Your mother is a wise one🌻

[@LeslieDavidson-u9j]

Just to add to the point about the labor necessary to manage a household: I work with rich people for work and many of them have concierge people that manage everything for them. They make all the appointments, coordinate domestic services, anticipate needs, run errands, manage household inventory etc, plan business trips etc. These are very expensive services that reserved for the wealthiest people in the world. Many wives and mothers provide these services for free, and it's completely undervalued. Many men did not have to reach the success of wealthy men to afford these services via a domestic partner. There are many women who would be better off doing everything they do for an ungrateful husband for a more grateful private employer. The job many women do domestically is nearly a 6 figure job if they took those skills to the job market.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

I calculated a conservative $130,000 and that’s with no kids

[@Nitra813]

💯

[@Nitra813]

Even as a single person with no children there’s costs. Pool services, pest control services, lawn/maintenance care. These are the normal services acquired for the average earner. Throw kids in the mix, childcare alone is a second mortgage. Then the groceries bill? Yikes. These add up quickly per month. Unless you do everything yourself to “save” money.

[@murtleturtle4027]

Those same rich people will marry women who literally do nothing except be pretty or have some hobbies. I mean when I say do nothing I don't mean literally, but you know, basically. This shows just how important women are, simply to be around. Our aura and essence alone.

[@hmu05366]

@@schuylergeery-zink1923how did you calculate those costs? lol

[@SandraGarcia-ez4nc]

If he could afford to spend money with women outside the marriage, he could afford to pay for their children’s school, and to provide food and shelter for them.

[@angelicaaah1264]

I AM SO GLAD THIS IS TALKED ABOUT!!! My entire life most people have tried to "humble" me for not needing their approval. lmfao

[@asentientgoose]

Right? It’s so whack. It’s like, why? How do my standards affect you? Why can’t they just mind their own damn business? Sorry that I actually value my labour, eugh. You’re so right.

[@CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear]

​​@@asentientgooseexactly! It's not like I'm dating you so why should you care about MY standards 🙄

[@NeyamStar]

Fr tf

[@cloudypolly22]

"gold digger" is such a misogynist term that discriminates women who don't want to marry broke men. Fathers who tell their daughters to marry financially stable men are gold diggers than. BTW, men still expect women to give them their bodies, after she paid for her own food, they stillthink they deserve beautiful women and want them to stay beautiful, but don't won't to pay for her stuff. Men never get policed for wanting beauty, youth, no they are praised and nobody ever tells them they're too ugly and too old to have such high standards.

[@Amely2014]

Men literally choose girlies with hair from salon, expensive nails, etc and expect us to maintain same level of beauty with no money....

[@cloudypolly22]

@@Amely2014 They want to look like they are the hugh value men who can afford to take care of his woman, but for free. As Estelle said, let the pickmes and dusties date each other, they have plenty of pickemes and pickmes channels that will make them feel good.

[@Kimtaehyungmafiawife]

That part

[@Love-kc6yk]

​@@GodaerentalosEveryone is a value digger. No one is entering relationships for the sake of charity. We do because we are gaining something. Companionship, Love, we like the way they make us feel, money etc. So, in a way, we're all gold diggers.

[@drez13]

I think it’s a false dichotomy but yeah super judgemental and envious term. I think “gold digger” is an accusation that someone married purely for money and at the expense of other desirable characteristics in a partner - not just marrying someone who happens to be rich. If that’s the case then people are just envious. I think men who date young girls are frowned upon also and to same extent. Personally to each their own if people are materialistic then maybe that’s as good as it gets for them.

[@Avi.joyyy12]

It’s crazy how people were calling that women in the first tiktok vid a Karen??? All of her reasons were pretty reasonable to me, plus she was even willing to find a full time job to support to continue her and kids lifestyle. It’s pretty scary that this “woke” culture has blinded people to this degree. Anyways… Congratulations bestie on 100K!!! The Spoiled Girlie Support Group is growing more and more and I’m so glad to have found you Elle🥰🎉🍾🥳👏🏾

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you bestie 🫶🏽 preach

[@destroyraiden]

It's not woke culture blinding people it's males who don't want to support or take ownership of the consequences of their actions that don't want women to have support. Being woke means your aware to the injustices of the system your living in in this case both patriarchy & capitalism as each have their own things with some overlap. Conservatives like to pretend it means anything white men don't like which is not what it means. In the OG meaning of the word woke you doing things to improve the life of those around you & yourself in the system is optional as back when the term was made it wasn't possible for blacks to improve their standing or situations much at all they could wiggle rather then step hence being aware was the most & best thing they could do for their personal survival.

[@Raddiebaddie]

Huh? What does this have to do with woke? What does that even mean

[@LauraDeLaCruz-ou1vd]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@therealmanifestelleHi, I have a question? May you explain please how can I get and where can I get a retirement account like the one that you mentioned in the minute 21:14

[@yeayeayeah933]

@@Raddiebaddie She probably means that "Karen" was originally used to describe racist boomer white women, but was co opted as a misogynistic term to insult any kind of assertive women, white, black, asian, latina, any race. And the "woke" culture endorses this misogyny because they think its okay to mistreat a woman if she happens to be white.

[@vshradha22]

u know just like how men call us gold diggers we should also call them free labour diggers too

[@3llzebub]

Or maybe "mom-diggers", since they want a replacement mom to take care of them, their children, and their household, but also sleep with. 😖

[@Syn-ls3eu]

@@3llzebub They also want unconditional love, loyalty and forgiveness regardless of how fucking garbage they treat their women and/or cheat.

[@ravenwillis]

My grandpa literally told me to never ever ever ever ever ever pay for a man. They'll take advantage of you! I miss him man....

[@nawee6801]

I wish I had a grandpa like yours. 😢It would have been so much helpful when 7 years ago i would pay for a guy only to be disrespected and insulted weeks later.

[@Karasus_drug_dealer]

Damn honey I miss him too 😂,hope he lived a long time and that you had a great relationship with him🖤🖤

[@meganbrooks7370]

In my family, men would look down on low effort below minimum dusties, so why don't do the same thing? Good men love women rights and want to give them the best living conditions, love and support. It's so much better to be alone then with a fake patriarch. I've seen how they can take your glow and energy. It's scary. You deserve the best, bestie. Don't you dare settle for a fake patriarch or I will come for you.

[@Nitra813]

💯

[@raynebow5289]

My first understanding of “dead ass” came from my dad who would call below minimum effort men just that 😂

[@nanii_glitterz]

my dad was a fake patriarch as well as an abuser in many ways, and my mom was a pick me, with no spine who enabled his abuse, so i feel like my concept of what love and relationships look like is severely fucked, these types of videos are helpful to remind me that what im looking for in a relationship is not asking too much

[@PaniACoCo]

Any relationship should make your life better. You deserve a partner that cares about your wellness and happiness!

[@talkingtochapri]

Even in this pick me patriarchal society. I am glad that woman had standards, she married a eligible guy who was her level and dropped him her a hanging fruit as soon as she found about the cheating. This is a blindly women hating society. What people don't realize is she wasted her youth and entire life on a male who cheated will never come back but he can continue making money at any age 😐 She still lost a lot more than his cheating @ss and at her old age now she has to find a new guy and start all over again. It would have never happened if that male stayed in his limits and didn't cheated 🤷‍♀️

[@yanzi8543]

No self control. This kind of image also comes from the Hollywood media. This kind of lifestyle for men has been normalized since long.

[@chillymilly7005]

This video made me so ANGRY! Why wasn't I taught that I have value, as does my labour, from a young age? Why does my partner eat three from scratch meals a day (no store bought bread, processed meats, breakfast cereal in this house) from vegetables I grew myself in a clean house while I wear tattered panties and clothes while I wait for Christmas gift money from family to buy my years essentials like clothes, personal hygiene, etc? I think he's been offering to take care of these needs but I've been deaf and adverse to it because I was devalued by society and my mother to believe I don't deserve to accept what's offered by my partner because taking from a man is wrong.

[@yeayeayeah933]

It really does start in the home. My mom was like this too. If you're a spoiled girlie you're "using him" "a gold digger" "manipulating him" And That's Terrible, but of course if he does it to you "just let it go and forgive him

[@alicec.6195]

Some men have nothing but they will still have the audacity 😂

[@macummings7818]

🙌😭

[@22mshangui]

so do women, do u think its soda in our body?@@zlayer3170

[@hmu05366]

What do you mean, some men have nothing?

[@Karasus_drug_dealer]

I don’t know where they found the audacity, but they need to put it back pronto!!!

[@Alixir1228]

The ones with nothing have the MOST audacity from my experience. Overcompensation and insecurity are the most dangerous things a man could have.

[@DeLaSoul246]

I used to be a nanny. Lemme just say: a nanny is *an employee.* I had to give & receive updates, I needed a schedule, supplies, an itinerary, etc. Worked for that family multiple years and the father never once helped with logistics. He only threw wrenches in our plans and forced us to work around him. The idea that having a nanny means the mom doesn't do anything is total bullshit. All I did was execute the mom's plans. She was the manager and I was her employee. He was just Some Guy.

[@jclyntoledo]

Damn, hope the mom is doing better bc that marriage sounds lonely af.

[@alexyssaubrie1606]

Do the husbands hit on you too? I always hear of husbands cheating with the nanny

[@Kitefel]

🙌🙌🙌

[@Zuzzamma]

@@alexyssaubrie1606 lmao it sounds ridiculously sad...

[@Kitefel]

@@unknownbannana8241 managers just tell you what to do. The boss just tells you what to do. CEOs just tell you what to do. Those are all just leadership positions meant to optimize the growth and function of a Company. A good Home also requires good leadership to run efficiently and optimally.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

12:16 "Why would you identify with bad men?" puts words to a feeling that's guided me all my life.. As you're conversing, observing and drawing them out to learn more, pay attention to who they identify with in any given conflict. The same way you can see if a man's good or bad by how he treats service workers, animals, children, etc. - i.e. anyone with less power than him - you can also tell by who he sides with in terms of recent news or world events. If he sides with bad men? RUN. If he's indifferent to or flippant about the suffering of others? RUN. And if he feeds you what he thinks you want to hear? CHANGE YOUR IDENTITY AND THEN RUN, because that man in particular is waiting until you're cornered to go mask-off.

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thissss 😳

[@beccat6055]

You have really helped me in learning how to pivot. I am entitled to a good life. And it is that entitlement and spoiled attitude that you've instilled in me that has taught me that there is no rejection, only redirection. So when things are not in my favor, I pivot. (Whether it is with men, or my career, or anything concerning my life.) Thank you, bestie.

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹 I'm rooting for you

[@beccat6055]

@@therealmanifestelle Thank you sooo much

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

so well said, will adopt that mindset shift for myself too :)

[@kiterafrey]

What I learned from decentering men in my late twenties, if you set a standard and you live up to your own standards, you'll find someone else who'll meet them too. Don't cave. Be your best and only settle for the best.

[@yudollia]

THE ICK METER MUST BE SENSITIVE AND DEVELOPED LADIES !!!!!!!!!

[@therealmanifestelle]

💅🏽

[@amyleigh7624]

Here's the thing. I like a good At Fault divorce. I have showed up to court with receipts. I agreed to a lifetime with a man. If he pulls his bullshit, I don't see why I should EVER have to change my lifestyle. If you can prove he fucked up big, he should pay you FOR LIFE.

[@TabrizWalker]

People want to suddenly ignore that marriage is a CONTRACT with TERMS

[@samco63]

Exactly. Even if children aren’t involved. He still wasted your youth, time, heart and energy, and ability to find another man - he threw all that away to cheat. He deserved to pay - not only with your absence but also compensate financially for all the other losses which can’t be compensated for. It’s the same in injury, you’ll have medical expenses paid for but also get compensation on top of that.

[@hf567]

That endure guy is something else, not surprised he was exposed as an abuser.

[@malvikaarora2579]

Elle you have literally done so much for me. a new era of my life has begun since i became a part of the spoiled girlie support group. looking at myself as the prize has changed everything around me in mysterious ways. for the first time in my life i was taken out on a date properly without even explicitly stating any demands. the guy asked me twice even when I cancelled the first time, picked me up from a location I disclosed near my house (not my house), paid for a beautiful dinner and drinks and RESPECTFULLY dropped me back (no insinuations to come over, no expectations of any sexy times) - this stuff might sound basic to some of y'all but this just did not happen to me earlier! like the dating dynamic used to be so off for me - constantly calculating the give and take economics inside my head that resulted in so much anxiety. i dont have to give anything! i am here to receive! what a life changing, liberating shift. thank you bestie!!!! ily

[@anastefan]

Both sides in relationships have to give and receive

[@matildaomondi3551]

AMEN AMEN AMEN QUEEN!!!!

[@rue6914]

@@anastefanwhen it comes to courtship, men give and women receive. Who's the one that usually proposes, and who's the one who usually responds? For literally all marriage and domestic tasks women provide and men receive. It's about balance

[@KicesiesVlog]

My dad was this kind of provider for my mom and us. And my partner is now the provider for he and I. Girl...he overheard me listening to one of your videos and now he LOVES reminding me constantly that I'm.a spoiled girlie and to act like it. haha. My last marriage couldn't have been more different. I POURED money into my ex. What a WASTE! But my current partner poured money into his ex and considered it a waste. Once you're both on the same page,... wow. Money is so easy for both of us now.

[@soujanyaduggirala2944]

Good men stories! If you need positive vibes! My father is the "girl dad" she talks about in this video, where he took me to the bank to get my first credit card when I was a teenager and he helped me open up my retirement accounts and brokerage accounts when I was still in college! In another video she mentioned that "the most successful men are the ones who pour money into their women" and my dad did that from a young age for me! I am a spoiled entitled princess because of him and will accept nothing but the best from my partner. Speaking of my partner, "his money is your money and your money is your money" literally embodies him! He buys me so many gifts and always says that everything he has, he owes to me. And most importantly, he does 50% of the labor around the house when he's over (we don't live together) and never once feels entitled to or asks for any of my money. Good men exist out there!!! I'm rooting for the spoiled girlies to find them!

[@whynot4]

When I was six my dad really messed me up… said I was never special, never be special, and to never expect anything special. Being raised by someone like that sets you up for hurt.

[@idontreallyknowagoodname4191]

Im so sorry ❤ I know it hurts and I know that me saying this wont do much; but you ARE special and somebody is going to see you for how special you are and will treat you accordingly ❤

[@whynot4]

@@idontreallyknowagoodname4191 thank you for your comment and taking the time to say that. It really meant a lot to me. ❤️❤️💕

[@lostangel3852]

He's projecting the garbage he feels inside about himself on to you. You are a beautiful child of the creator, unique, special, a child in his genetic line but not his possession to treat like that. He does not see who you really are. I let statements like that convince me that I had to settle for less in relationships with men and wasted my own time. Time I suffered. You can NEVER retrieve lost time. I encourage you to give yourself a gift for me. For us. For all the women who didn't have a way to pick up the hard earned advice of other ally women who were on their side (& good, supportive men). Don't believe ANY man who tells you you're not good enough. I wish you the best.

[@whynot4]

@@lostangel3852 I really appreciate the comments you all have left me. This is the most positive and meaningful support that I have ever had. It means so much to me that you took the time to respond and give me support. It is so genuine and that is something so rare. Thank you ❤️❤️

[@whynot4]

@@lostangel3852 thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. ❤️❤️

[@777iceprincess]

I’m so glad you are spreading this message. I only date women now but I’m still an avid advocate of all heterosexual women raising their standards and demanding more from the men they they’re allowing to access them. I learnt my own lessons young but I am tired of seeing my friends get treated like shit. keep going

[@LiaBunny93]

my father taught me to be a gold digger!! that's why i am a spoiled princess!

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@nataliaonaire]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@bookbutterfly2408]

Same with my parents & grandparents! My grandpas especially told me if I don't find a man who doesn't spoil me & treat his money as my money & my money as mine, he ain't worth it. Grandma always told me to have a secret, separate bank account from my future husband's to protect myself, but I'd extend that to a few secret investments that pay good dividends too, just in case. Such a good dusty repellent.

[@chrzig554]

I wouldn't call it being a golddiger. Yes money matters if you want to be feminine and want a masculine provider but it's definitely not the only/most important thing! I could NEVER be with someone who treats me like crap doesn't matter how rich they are. Because If you want to depend and submit the provider has to be trustworthy of course.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

​@@chrzig554there are multiple things to consider when looking to have a traditional family set up. Source of income and qualities that make a good husband and father are important too.

[@xilcamaexilkggutierrez2876]

If men wants traditional women that cooks, clean, and take cares of the kids then, they should be a traditional man that provides everything be it a need or a want of the woman and their children.

[@User948Z7Z-w7n]

Traditional man? Who says traditional man brings to his woman whatever she demands?

[@YmirTitan]

"Whatever she demands?" All the person is saying that since HE is the only one with the finances in this relationship, HE should be the one to fund this traditional lifestyle. This isn't just for her either;it's for him, the household, and most importantly, their children

[@mudandglitter1609]

I'm in my 40s with two daughters of dating age. I am SO happy to see what is happening with younger ladies (and it trickles up to us older ones too, so thank you). I would never want for my daughters the things I put up with when I was younger. They are smart, driven, and genuinely good girls. They deseve the world!

[@lapislazulii141]

Karen:A Scandinavian name meaning “pure”💙

[@therealmanifestelle]

🤎🤎

[@atheon596]

Ironically several Karens aren't pure at all

[@tattoocouture3761]

@@atheon596You’re on the wrong channel to support a misogynistic slur.

[@atheon596]

@@tattoocouture3761 Not at all misogynistic. Karens are women, typically white women, who would call the cops on a POC for walking down the street or would harass at a low income worker over a really small inconvenience.

[@Hey-Women-iam-bear-choose-me]

​@@tattoocouture3761Cope

[@hollymartinez1911]

I'm older than alot of people on here, I imagine. Child in the 70s, teen in the 80s, and I'm sure alot has changed, and maybe the things I was taught wouldn't apply the same way now. The women I grew up around, some worked outside the home, some in the home and some in businesses they owned with their husbands. The thing is, though, nearly every one of them had a home that was in their name, a car in their name, accounts in their name ect, so if something happened, they knew they had a place to live. Their husbands were the ones that set it up that way. I think it kind of also assured them that if their husband's did screw up and cheat or something, they could leave. He knew it, and they knew it. Also, when I divorced my first husband my attorney told me to make sure to ask for enough in child support so that in the present and in the future my kids would be allowed to live in the manner in which they were accustomed. The child's manner of living shouldn't change due to their parent's separation. I'm so happy to see the same ideas being taught on this channel. Thank you for that. Women today really need to understand their worth.

[@FireSilver25]

When I was growing up women were constantly vilified for leaving an abusive/alcoholic/cheating husband and not working even if she had kids to take care of. I almost married a man like that but thankfully I was able to leave him and I went to college. He once said, “I’m sure you regret spending so much time at school.” 😂😂😂😂 I’d love to see an invoice for aaaaaall the labor women are expected to provide yearly. Housekeeper- $30,000 Seggs worker-$60,000 Carry baby- $100,000 Nanny- $40,000 Therapist - $50,000 Chef- $50,000 Total (under)estimate- $330,000 per year. I’m just guessing but I think you get the point.

[@simplycaspar]

The bar is in hell, is so true and that's why I set my bar on the roof of a tower. 💞 Side note: Your videos opened my eyes so much. I use to be a pickmeisha without even realizing it. Ms. "I'll pay for the date because I'm not a gold digger." then watching as the men who treated me like garbage and dumped me on the side of the road being "controlled" by their new girlfriends. Being so damn salty and saying to myself "And he ended up with someone so toxic and he's treating her so well." Nope. She was just a step ahead of me. She knew her worth already and he only gained access to her by stepping up and into his masculine energy. I went from being salty and jealous of her, to wanting to get what she had, but the right way and with the right man. We're not doing this "I'm paying for the date" crap anymore. It always ends up going further than that.

[@yeayeayeah933]

Interesting anecdote! Funny how society likes to co opt therapy speak like "controlling" or "toxic" gfs to describe women who aren't doormats. Really sinister way to guilt trip women into accepting less, because you don't want to be an "abuser".

[@bettyeboop2942]

I am so glad that I get a good amount of child support a month. And it is always nice when I get a bonus because whatever money he gets I get a cut of it since my ex owes back child support. Don't ever let a man get away with not taking care of their child and or children. My ex husband made more money than me our whole marriage, don't ever marry a man that makes less than you.

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you for sharing 🫶🏽

[@PaniACoCo]

My parents didn't marry, they broke up before I was born. One of my mom's friends told her not to act all low maintenance when it came to her baby, he told my mom to demand good stuff for me. He, as a guy, knew how important that became when having children outside of a marriage. It's not like that was needed with my dad. He has always given me all I need. But talking to other children with parents that aren't married, my dad is an exception.

[@puffball4484]

Never get into a relationship where the man earns all the money. It is never, ever, a good idea don't let any of these Peter Pan syndrome pick me's tell you otherwise. If you don't have your own, you are OWNED. Period.

[@kitty1256x]

I knew a woman who earned nothing but husband gave her all his money and paycheck and she gave him allowance and he did everything he wants. She had all the power even that she didn’t work. Had all his money and he obeyed her in everything. It depends on personality. Another woman worked high paying career but her his took all her money and she had nothing, she was obidient one even that she worked.

[@ramirami-h8z]

Better if you work on your dream job, but still have husband who provide for you and your kids I see woman who have husband like that Because he love her, and only want the best for her And you only want to marry a man who love you anyway

[@abbyv7984]

I left my fiancé and I was only able to do so because I put away for my financial independence. My grandma had been financially abused and I learned from her what mistakes to avoid (much easier now that women can own things and have credit). He loved that I handled the finances, I handled the bills, I didn’t care what he did with “his” money. I set up a joint account for our joint bills such as utilities and mortgage- I owned the house but he contributed to payments. (Pro tip, only buy what you can afford on one salary. If things are good you have $ for savings but if things are bad you know you can handle it yourself.) Then I said as long as that has the amount it needs in it we do whatever we want with our own money. I built up an emergency fund and extra savings. When I finally left, his biggest fear was that he didn’t have any $ to go anywhere else. That’s what happens when you try to have a 50/50 life. When I left he said he took for granted that this was forever. And that’s the fact. Women have been taught that the rug can be ripped out from under them, men never question the foundation they’re building on.

[@Cutiejuliya]

U lost me on the 50 part. Can u explain

[@lunamcboss6504]

I get that there are draw backs to 50/50 but there are draw backs to being a SAHW too no matter how many safe gaurds you put in place. No matter how nice being "spoiled" sounds, I just don't want to not have a job in my relationships. I get that men take advantage of women's labor in a 50/50 sometimes, but it seems like you can change that by valuing men who actually do domestic labor the same way you can curb the negative side effects of stay at home situation by asking for alimony or getting a prenup. And if he doesn't do 50/50 over time? Leave him. If anything having 50/50 makes that much easier than having to battle for needed resources in courts. Not that you shouldn't demand your rightful share in a 50/50 either

[@che4840]

this is a good topic of relearning what the woman’s role is and how she should be. I think a lot of women are so afraid of not being the strong independent woman, because what else can she be, and they’re confused about what a good relationship should look like.

[@therealmanifestelle]

This

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

so true. People think there are only the two extremes of the spectrum (homesteading housewife or man-hating boss-babe) and this channel is the perfect guide to happy moderation

[@destroyraiden]

Women are scared to be independent even the strong ones due to they were all raised to be dependent & their agency's taken away via "protection" then they grew up & were told "just kidding! Go make your independent life! We lied to you!" so their rearing doesn't prepare them for independence meanwhile males start at infancy when they come back from the hospital. While girls do nearly everything first she's "protected" from her nature & boys are conditioned to self sooth early & take charge of this or that & what he does isn't immediately if ever punished allowing the baby the knowledge he can be himself anywhere while she is doubted out of her own will constantly. It's very fascinating to read up on how parents treat their kids by sex now I will recognize alot of strategies made for males like let him cry forever & just yell at him for being a girl is abusive we need to teach people healthy interaction for baby states so the child can grow up with better knowledge as their brains will need select care to understand that the x they did was wrong not the baby itself was wrong so they can be both independent and assured at the sametime there are people who raise healthy independent kids with strong minds & fluidity of when to use boundaries or not.

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

This spoke to my Libra ♎️ stellium 💜

[@mpGreen03]

I think you shouldn't mold yourself to a role, that doesn't sound like a happy life, just work on yourself and be your best version.

[@user-eg1xw6rj3k]

I love how you flipped the scripts on the stupid comments. You made a lot of excellent points. If men don't want to pay child support or alimony, then they shouldn't cheat. Period. Great video.

[@pirchtheotterwich8060]

My father didn't teach me to be gold digger or entitled because my parents are divorced, but my grandmother and my mom does. They spoil me a lot until these days. And now i'm a woman with high standards. Seeing and living with them tell me what position i want to be and lifestyle i want to have. Being spoiled girl all of my life keep myself save. Thanks to my mom and granny.

[@PaniACoCo]

For me it was the other way around. My parents didn't marry, so technically not divorced. My mom and grandma were the kind to try to be low maintenance. My dad always provided for me and even when I wasn't living with him he would always find ways to spend quality time with me. Him and my grandpa were always telling me to find someone worthy, that would respect me, protect me, provide for me. And if I didn't find such a partner, I could get all the nice stuff for myself.

[@jenndesharnais6101]

My aunt helped my uncle build his business and even worked without a paycheck. She had his children and kept the home spotless. Once the buisness was doing well and after she had his children he cheated with a younger woman and she enjoys the millions why my aunt litterly got nothing in the divorce because he had the money to hire attorneys and she didn't.

[@brookr.1737]

See this is why I follow your channel. You speak truth bestie

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🥹

[@arianex2575]

I recently built on the term weaponized incompetence and added weaponized dominance; which is, when a man threatens you with anger, size, build, etc to get you to submit and do what he says. Comes in two flavors,, covert n overt.

[@areyouokay4306]

Could you please elaborate?

[@arianex2575]

ie threatening you that he's going to get mad if you do or dont do what he says or agree etc using his size and physical strength or verbal aggression and persistence/harassment as a subliminal force. Thats what they do in those fresh and fit talks, (is a good example to me) get these girls to submit and bark at them to the point where they shut down basic thinking because they are in flight mode. at the point a man is projecting a possible threat, the women just want to leave to escape they can give two shits about making a point to a man whos emotions are spiking and whose voice is raised.@@areyouokay4306​

[@bres.4806]

This is on point. They definitely will bully you and purposely try to intimidate you with their physical in subtle and direct ways. It's disturbing.

[@Tarotqueen-uv1qy]

When she said “customers” I knew right there and then that he was screwing the clients. She prolly doesn’t have a great resume anymore because she gave up work to raise that man’s family and she’s not getting half the business so what we just going to leave her high and dry huh? I’ve seen that “judge” before and I really hope it’s all actors like judge Judy because she is super unprofessional.

[@Des_Ogers_Kaeselanze]

I love how she is always aggressively saying "and the PICKMEISHAAAAAH"

[@vanessaprincesssa]

I absolutely love that statement: “I will not engage in Pickmeisha content”. I should do that too! I always put a Dislike on them and heart the comments that defend women so that people see that people agree with these comments, but I just realised that all of that is engagement and the algorithm thinks I like pickmeisha content when I DON’T. Thank you once again, Elle! ❤

[@LLOriginal]

As always spitting 🔥 I'm a woman who suffered.. and I have been teaching my daughters these things and I love your videos because they're young and fresh and I have my high school daughter watch them too. Thanks bestie 🤗

[@myheart715]

"It's often the unseen and UNPAID labor of women that propels men to success"...and I would also argue UNACKNOWLEDGED labor. If you're gonna make the argument that women are gold diggers, then we need to also examine how men use/manipulate/gain from women. However, what they gain from women is often belittled to the point where there's no tangible concrete dollar sign amount placed on it. That's very telling about how society places values on a man's money but not a woman's labor.

[@nysiad4261]

Good men protect women and children. I dont care about anything these alpha boys say. I was breaking up with my boyfriend, he startes to control my life. You know what my dad said as a divorced men that still supports my mom and he always said he will support her till her death. He told me to just message him and block the number. Its not worth the risk. Good men exist, we love them ❤

[@TMeyer-ge5pj]

Abuse is rare?? hmm I can't believe men think that. I have hardly ever seen a woman in a marraige who is not somehow abused, at least fincancially

[@thisishowitallends9321]

So be it. How about calling them “youthdiggers”, “looksdiggers” and “dumbdiggers”?

[@charlottemorabito]

This is why you need a pre-nump, babes. I don’t care if you’re both broke going into the marriage. Hire a lawyer to anticipate what may come and divide everything up while you love your spouse. Otherwise you’re at the mercy of a judge, and they’re not as progressive as you think

[@Opinionatedcancer]

If you cheat you pay!! There needs to be an agreement before you get married. If we divorce, you pay. If you cheat, you pay!

[@deepaambastha]

''you got to endure'' ok petition to ban him from WOMEN✨

[@tamarbatyah7]

@17:34 - "because she has enough self worth to demand good treatment from others" 🎯 💪 💜 🏆 👏

[@thatblerdoverthereb9654]

In the old days housewives took a $50 a week grocery allowance and through diligent budgeting/couponing built up a rainy day fund. Most men don't know the price of groceries, even now. I've been watching Bravo housewives, and they have some good examples what and what not do to. Sutton Stacke and Camille Grammar, good. Watching Miami hoping Lisa is gonna get her bag.

[@CyberMachine]

Can you tell me which one? I would prefer to not watch multiple ones

[@BouncyBrown]

it's funny you mention girl dads. I remember reading a quote that said "Men want Melanias for wives and Ivankas for daughters." (Not trying to make it political, personally am anti-Trump but the quote is true IMO.) Men want attractive housewives but independent, educated daughters.

[@ellebassa9288]

I'm picky because Ik that I'm vulnerable as a disabled WOC. I have to date/marry well and for upward socioeconomic mobility. So yes,I'm spoiled girly and want to be a spoiled wife.✨️💗🎀

[@HM_00702]

Islam teaches this. His money is your money and your money is your money.

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@TT-ee1vv]

​@@anddudewaslikeDoes it also tell women to follow the bad leadings of their husband? Does it teach husbands to break their vows and manipulate their wives? I'm pretty sure there should be nuances not blind leading the blind.

[@TT-ee1vv]

@@anddudewaslike I asked a question. Why are you acting like what I'm saying is a wild scenerio? LOL, I asked something reasonable. There should be a nuance or does the quran say that women should follow their husbands blindly even if what their husband is doing is bad? What exactly am I invalidating and embellishing? Or are you agreeing that the woman must follow the man no matter how bad his actions are? You seem to be the one acting dodgy. So far as the man is doing right he has nothing to worry about, lol.

[@TabrizWalker]

​@@anddudewaslike well then it's a good thing that Muslims don't just follow this one single alleged verse of the Quran that you didn't bother to cite. Every religion has followers who are bad men. And Islam stipulating that a man should be kind to his wife AND the wife should be patient and steadfast in her loyalty is not the "gotcha" you think it is. When a woman is being neglected of basic needs and/or abused, there are lawful halal options for her to leave the marriage. However, religion is not the only determining factor, and some Muslim women remain in abusive marriages for the same reasons that women all over the world endure abuse in a marriage.

[@shaniceokubena4975]

​@TT-ee1vv I'm a Muslim woman and there are most definitely stipulations to this , he can't guide you to what's morally wrong no one has the right to tell you to do what is morally incorrect not even your parents. ❤

[@KestrelHime]

I'm the oldest daughter (29) and this past month my dad showed me where his will is and where everything is in case of something happening to him. He explained that everything will go to mom first of course but should anything happen to mom, here is the papers you need to access the bank accounts, and so on. They've been married for 35-ish years and he's never limited mom's access to money because it's family money not "his" money. We are not rich, if anything, on the low income side of middle class. Good dad's and good men want their wives and children to be safe and secure!!

[@AngelaPhia-qw7lb]

Yeah, when I was in getting into self help and went through a few hurtful experiences I pretty much destroyed all my entitlement to cope and keep a roof over my head. Later on/ now it's very clear to me how much it has hurt me and sent me farther away from what I have wanted this whole time.

[@TabrizWalker]

I woke up late too. It's normal that when something hurts we just decide we need to be less sensitive. And it just leaves us open to get wounded deeper. By our nature we want to keep our hearts open because we know that that's TRUE strength. Go live your spoiled, entitled, soft girl life, I'm so proud of you bestie 🫶🫶

[@arandaanimations6025]

The Spoiled Girlie Support Group has helped me find a good man who respects my peace of mind and wallet. He asks before holding my hand or kissing my cheek and never asks me to pay or split the bill. He puts in the work to afford spoiling me with jewelry, experiences, and more

[@dinahmacaulay4009]

Awwww. So happy for you !!

[@anastefan]

why should one person constantly be the one paying for stuff in relationship?

[@cherryme1211]

"His money is your money, and your money is your money" mindset is taught by Islam so I'm glad someone finally talks about it !

[@veronicabarron]

Oh interesting! If you feel like sharing (if not, no worries!) - I’m curious about the spiritual implications of this. So interesting that it’s taught within a faith tradition!

[@virginiajimenez7955]

I got insanely lucky to be born to a girl dad. He taught me to discern men by the same standards as men judge women. Is he a community bike? Reject him.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

It blows my mind how many of our peers dont rememeber the experience of being a child.. Like, okay NPC.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Alexa, Define "DEMON!?"

[@xposa5137]

Elle asked, so I am going to comply :) I have a husband who thinks that everything he earns is mine also because he credits ALL his business success to me. Men likes this exist. But they exist because there are women that have an appropriate selfworth from which appropriate boundaries and a demand for having their needs met come from.

[@shivi5669]

My father is so entitle & arrogant man, he make lot of money 💰 but never wants to give my mother a single coin, he can spend on any random person that's fine But whenever anytime any tragedy occurs, no one only my mother always help him & even his own brother or mother never helps him

[@mariannesanchez5336]

You seem so young to be so right about so much

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@CBusCP]

Right!? I keep wondering where this wisdom comes from. Doesn't matter. I just wish I found content like this 20 years ago ❤

[@divinealchemy3078]

@@CBusCP Trust me, coming from another spoiled girlie (and kept wife) it's easy to obtain god tier level of knowlege and wisdom when you have time to focus on yourself, regulating your nervous system, maintaining inner peace and reading, learning, journaling, having the time to think and reflect

[@dianatradex]

I'm kinda past this point where we argue about chores and who does what in the house. I make it extra clear that if my partner wants to maintain a household, we need to hire a cleaning lady. I don't expect of my partner to cook and clean, but I won't do it either unless I really feel like it. Get you a cleaning lady, a maid, a nanny, whatever cause I ain't one. That's one of the deal breakers because god forbid we argue about chores ever again, it's so dumb and easily solved.

[@icejeons]

I’m so glad I found this channel thank you so much Elle. Honestly bad men in my life have kept me from seeing my worth as a woman but you really talk a lot of sense into me thank you as always 💗

[@mikochild2]

So these people want the children to lose their lifestyle... He was already paying for private school. He was already paying for the nanny. She didn't ask for anything for herself. A home for his kids and the support for his kids that will help ensure they have great futures. Does he no longer care about the futures of his children?

[@kiterafrey]

in the 22k video. She mentioned that was their agreement. So, it sounds like he agreed to set her up with support but then didn't follow through so she started to squirrel it away. It sounds like she knows she'll need to leave soon for her own safety.

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

I cannot believe the women actually ask “what will yall do if we have to go to war?” That is really offensive AF to female veterans dawg… There are women who have been to war who are living and breathing alive today. Um? There are two options in war: either you will survive or die. Certainly if the circumstances were that dire, many people would then be forced via pure, raw *instincts* to partner or team up with SOMEONE.

[@dolcisima___]

"Go back to Whoville. Maybe you'll get picked there." I'M IN TEARS 😂

[@AngelaLochCross]

Those type of men absolutely do exist. I dated one in my early to late twenties and I was called gold digger and worse by other men who were thinking their negging was going to lower my self esteem enough to notice they existed. I'm going to downgrade from someone who treats me like a princess for someone who treats me like I'm sub-human and stupid? I will never be that drunk or that desperate. I am content on my own now and would never trade my happiness and peace of mind for less or even status quo. Better be bringin' an upgrade to my life or don't even talk to me. I hope every woman has a chance to date someone who will lift her up in every way or a father who treated her that way so as a society we stop creating these BBMLE men. And if you don't get that chance, spoil yourself. Be what you want for yourself. Once you're happy with yourself you will never trade that for being miserable with someone else. ✨

[@DrSoapp]

You're an average person, not a princess. Time to grow up

[@IfunanyaCindy]

Editing is 🔥🔥🔥bestie

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹🫶🏽 thank you

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

I have been binging your videos all day so i feel so blessed with this upload. Mwah!

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@jkseraphim4]

Once years ago I was walking down the street a man ask me for my number/date me. I first politely said no, I give out my number. The man got to pushy until I said an angry no! And he curses me saying oh I thought you were nice because of my face.🥺😠 I said nothing to the man, but what I didn't understand is he asked me, I didn't come to you, you came to me, and when I said no just move on!😡 Every since then anytime a man on the street says hello I look down or ignore them because I just want to be quiet and stay invisible!

[@user-eg1xw6rj3k]

As a Christian I'm absolutely disgusted with the guy who quoted Jesus to give men an out after the group just said women have to take beatings. The context of that passage was for the PROTECTION of women against husbands divorcing them for FRIVOLOUS reasons. So yeah, technically he COULD divorce his wife for cheating, but Jesus never said he must/should, only that that was the only acceptable reason if he insists on doing so (I'm paraphrasing). But these illiterates turn it around and make it sound like the Bible is all about no rights for women and men being able to do whatever they want. The Bible is full of defenses of women's rights but it's all been twisted by guys like this who probably learned everything they know from Mark Driscoll, and who I wouldn't trust to lecture my dog (if I had one). I'm not even going to be able to finish watching that segment. To hear fellow supposed "Christians" say things like that makes me feel like a person without a country.

[@laraantipova389]

I m also a Christian. I was shocked to hear Mark talking about women being miserable alone when the Bible says the opposite. The Bible says that some people are happy single and they are more blessed and preferred to married individuals so long as they are not sleeping around.

[@dinahmacaulay4009]

Same!!! I'm so tired of men like those. They're especially rampant in my home country. They talk anyhow and make the Bible sound like what its not. They just twist the verses so it follows their own way of life. It's so wrong. 😢

[@missl849]

I hate this world. Lol

[@VivaciousLyla]

your wisdom never seems to run out; every video is so valuable. thank you!

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you 🫶🏽

[@fabianaaguilar7447]

My dad could never built a successful business if it weren’t for my mom not only because my mom supported both of them when my dad was starting his business ,not making any money out of it. But because my mon freed so much time out of his day, he didn’t have to cook or clean or take care of me growing up, he didn’t even had to buy food or clothes for himself. That’s so time consuming and so stressful people don’t realize how important house labor is until they have to do it all by themselves.

[@zulejkajaversek9161]

I must remember to show these videos to my daughters when they’re old enough!

[@user-ub4lk3pf3w]

When my grandfather left he left my grandmother and his children with nothing he never even payed child support. We got one letter and a phone call in the last 40 years. This has led to problems that last to this day, and are not just going to go away. Even if things go well women often out live their husbands this is just a matter of fact and needs to be taken into consideration when planing for the future

[@Captainn4t]

When my parents were both working my mom got to keep most her own money to spend on what she wanted to, and my dad used his money to deal with bills and everything, only expecting her to chip in and never taking her money from her. Even now that she doesn't work, he gives her what they call an allowance. What she does with that money is up to her, if she wants to buy something, she does, if she wants to save up, she does. He doesn't touch her money. A good man will provide for his family and not be salty or angry about it, and he won't want complete control over his partner's financials. If anyone wants complete control over your financials, that's a huge red flag.

[@DrSoapp]

That's not a good man that's a pushover

[@Captainn4t]

@@DrSoapp This is just rage bait, ain't gunna work on me :) Ain't my problem if men actually supporting their wives threatens you.

[@Captainn4t]

@@BAsed_AFro Absolutely, if it's agreed upon by both parties and one person is the bread winner, there is nothing wrong with them supporting the other spouse who keeps the house and kids taken care of. Housework is work, and if I had a house husband taking care of my place, I would support him, because I hate housework.

[@Captainn4t]

@@BAsed_AFro I've known a couple. I don't have a lot of married friends though as I'm a dweeb that spends a lot of my time online and in fandom spaces hahaha

[@Captainn4t]

@@BAsed_AFro Ok, I'll let the family friends my brother rents at know that they don't exist, because they're in their 50s.

[@cureaurora7591]

17:25 thank you so much for making all these videos. I don't have a dad and my mom didn't have one either so no one taught me that. I didn't have any standards at all 😅

[@rockinstrawberries]

Good men exist!! There are men who understand it is more risky for a woman to get married and worse for a woman who is getting divorced!! I married one :)

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

Abusers teach others to lack empathy because in *their* world, life is not and SHOULD NOT be about pleasure or join. Life should always only be pain. Don’t them dare catch anyone enjoying themselves - even a whole stranger. And they *WILL* inspire others to follow their lead in creating a bleak, boring, sad world.

[@marinamiletic6153]

The best episode so far. This should be taught in schools...

[@nnadams2003]

Girl you went IN on this one!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@HaleyMary]

I can't believe the audacity of that guy who told the woman that women have to "endure" abuse once they were married and the relationship became abusive. But, if the woman were to cheat, then it's over? That dude sounds like a hypocrite! Sick!

[@DrSoapp]

Imagine the audacity to go online and feeling entitled to a man's money when there are people in third world countries desperately struggling

[@mvrielena]

dude i love you and the way you explain yourself and your statements, i never found someone who thinks the way that i do. the besties rEALLY need to WAKE UP!!!!!

[@syn67501]

I wish I had seen this 15 years ago.

[@SAGEWOLF]

relatable af

[@kiterafrey]

Just starting watching, but I agree all women need to have their own money. It doesn't matter if that money comes from a prenup or squirreling away or working. We will never know what will happen. A man can stop being a good man. A man can get disabled. A man can pass away early in an accident. And you deserve a safety net, and even more so your possible children deserve a safety net. If you want to be a SAHM, do it go for it, but have a savings account in your name that he can't touch and get a prenup that offers you half of everything (because he can ONLY build that life because YOU are doing the home labor and buying back time and peace of mind for him to improve his career) and alimony and child support.

[@maeum_maeum]

I feel like that second woman did that secretly because she knows for a fact he would never allow it . And she probably was planning a divorce or he was planning a divorce .

[@Bexy2080]

You keep blowing my mind Elle! ❤❤❤