Women Don't Want To Validate Your Feelings

[@Matthew330ba]

When you offer this support & caretake their emotions, everything is fine. I was a part of a relationship where she continuously sought validation & help with what she was feeling. Every time I did something she didn’t like or she was trying to process she shut me out. In the end I asked for her love & she asked me why I needed validation. You can’t continuously pour from your cup into theirs with nothing in return - this I feel is very different to what is being stated & people are watching this & not taking this away from the video. It is fair enough not needing it constantly, you should be emotionally capable of not needing them as a maternal figure; but when they don’t prioritise you & still expect you to pick up the pieces of their life; & yet are not willing to make you feel wanted & needed is it very different. This type of woman is toxic & selfish; definitely do not stick around, these are narcissistic traits & not acceptable in any relationship regardless of if you’re male or female

[@KJ-pu8dw]

What is annoying is when a woman pesters a man for his emotions of ‘a bad day a work’ for example. He tells her with trust, but what happens she loses respect for him and starts to see him as weak. I don’t think women actually know they will feel/react in this way.

[@this.is.lapc506]

Check again minute 6:04 and you'll understand better.

[@AdrianMark]

I was skeptical at the beginning, but as I listened, I came to agree with what you were saying. Thanks for making this.

[@kalynsloan495]

Hi Connor, I'm a woman and I've recently started watching your videos to better understand men. You provide a ton of value every time; thank you. This video is especially eloquently explained and every point is exact. Emotional self-awareness and self-leadership from an emotionally healthy space are the two aspects of dating, relationship, and breakup that my friends and I consistently struggle with (and really celebrate when there's a win, too). To the summative statement you make at about 9:10, I'd like to add that when a man does those things, not only can I trust him, but I can feel *emotionally safe* with him. For my friends and I, it's that emotional safety that builds trust and, of course, supports the foundation of a healthy connection. Thanks again for this video and conversation. I would love to see it go viral -that's how fantastic (and needed) it is.

[@misaakiyama3073]

This video is really nice, talks about something people don't get to hear often. It explains what truly is going on that a lot us esp. men? probably often overlooks. I also had that fear towards disregulated emotions of others, experiencing it as a child from my father and brother.... where they would sometimes have this outbursts of anger or frustration where it would somestimes be directed at me even though I am not the one to blame. I always hated that... Kinda created that idea of, if someone has anger issues, that's a deal breaker for me. I don't think anyone should be responsible with others' emotions, we can help but we can only do so much. Change would only start if the other person put an effort in understanding themselves. I really like how this video pointed out that everyone should be responsible and be able to regulate our own emotions. As it should! Thank you for this video ❣

[@_Trakman]

Oversharing happens when the guy has NEVER had empathy and healthy mirroring and then finds a safe person who can do that and he naturally wants to "dump a lot on that person" - it's an intense urge! Iike a person starving for water and finally getting a glass.

[@ManTalks]

Yes, well said

[@delphinebrooks5110]

and this happens to women too.

[@KJ-pu8dw]

@@delphinebrooks5110 yes but the key difference is the typical react from the opposite gender. A man does not find a woman less attractive for it. A woman will find the man less attractive.

[@delphinebrooks5110]

@@KJ-pu8dw I'm not so sure...men do not like too emotionally needy women. I think the desire to share emotions with a partner is great but no one likes to deal with a needy child who didn't receive enough validation. Each of us has to do the work on our own (with professional help when needed) before to expect a mature , fulfilling romantic relation ship.

[@carloschica1628]

This is too true

[@folumb]

I am struggling with this idea because I feel like things should be fair in a sense. i don't want to sound transactional, but if I am supposed to listen and validate her feelings, provide material support and physical safety to a woman and not expect anything back why am I in a relationship? I need it to be clear what she's supposed to be doing because its very clear and strict what men SHOULD be and should be doing. This feels like an impossible bar. You can't be in a relationship until youre this financially and emotionally successful person but I'm in my twenties.... so just wait until mid thirties? Do women have to have all of this together before they date?

[@makerKID5]

This is the reality of being a man. As soon as you figure out that life isn't fear especially when you are a man you will feel free. I used to think just like you. This is not that much different from the "nice guy" line of thinking. I'm not saying this to be mean. This is real life.

[@cmcfau]

Woman have their own growth curve and it’s not the same as men. The video is right moving past needing validation from your woman is the move from boy to man. You don’t need to do it in your own but it’s not for her to take this on it’s for your trusted male friends to hear and help. Join a support group or counselling if you don’t have trusted male friends that’s what I had to do. It may take a while to get the right group but that’s ok. Stick with it you will not believe what you will become as you start to get your shit together. Good luck brother.

[@johndough6225]

Date a girl who isn't tied to gender role expectations and has an actual nuanced understanding of the world. And if that doesn't work, oh well, be happy for yourself. This world is too full of resentment as is.

[@knivgaffelskje]

This is exactly it. The juice is not worth the squeeze. I have been naive and really bad at maneuvering the world of sexual and romantic relations, and have been taught the same lessons too many times, until at last I am starting to learn them (partly thanks to channels like this and PsychHacks, among others). I see that what he is saying here is true. And I see the validity of a lot of these bitter truths. But the consequences of this is that I am totally disillusioned by relationships and women in general. Why the hell should I spend all that time and energy on something pointless, transactional, to give and not getting what I really want and need in return? And at the same time, I am still a young man with hormones and desires. Desire not only for sex, but much more so for the deep connection with a woman. It is like being at a old-fashioned streching table, being pulled in different directions at once.

[@Serenepeds]

As a woman, I really agree with what he's saying about needing to develope skills to regulate our own emotions/inner landscape (women are DEFINITELY included in needing to develop these skills!) But I think it's not THE answer to the particular question asked in the video. I agree with you. No matter if you're a man or a woman, even if you can regulate your own emotions/inner landscape 75 or 80% of the time completely on your own, it's a normal and beautiful part of relationships to be able to have your experience validated by your partner. NOT to have them solve everything. But just to be able to have someone to share it with. I've been on both extremes of men in my life not sharing./acknowledging any inner landscape or conversely using me as the sole emotional dumping ground/processing station in their life. I've also experienced a middle ground where there's some mutual support and validation while we each try our best to handle our own stuff. The middle ground is the better ground. For both parties, I am sure. Yes, there are differences between men and women. But there are so many more similariies between us than differences.

[@Ausgrave]

Great video! What's the difference between validating and acknowledging? What man wants to be in a relationship with another person (male/female) who will never validate their experiences or feelings? Isn't the fact that both men and women are human beings with feelings sufficient enough reason for the culpability of validating each other? How can there be intimacy with one-way validation? Doesn't taking the onus of any validating on the female's side serve as a way to enable female gaslighting and narcissism and encourage the male to blame himself? I agree with you in terms of emotional dependency -- no man should be dependent on anyone else for their emotional state. That being said, surely your inner circle, those you call friends, family, lovers, etc. should be in a state of validating your feelings and experiences in a reciprocal way -- from a spirit of goodwill and not enmeshment? Personally, there's a difference between being emotionally dependent and trying to communicate what you're feeling. What's the point of any relationship if one side doesn't think they need to affirm the reality of the other? Humans are wired for connection -- and connection is a two-way street -- part of that connection would seem to me to be a respect for each others' physical/emotional state -- not DEPENDENT on each other, but INTER-dependency...

[@KJ-pu8dw]

Calculus-Well said. But you need to learn more about how women think. In a perfect world you are right. Sadly the reality is different.

[@thefunctionofjames]

He's saying someone shouldn't rely on their partner or other relationships to be their sole source of emotional validation and partners are looking for someone with the emotional maturity to validate themselves. I think he caveats this with the idea of the parental role being a primary source for developmental validation for emotionally immature people as they help them recognize their own systems of regulation. You, too, should be looking for a partner that is capable of regulating their own emotional systems, not just 'women.'

[@dannyjohnson8051]

I really enjoyed this. I struggled with this for a long time and I’m glad I got some clarity on how to move forward as a man. Thank you for these videos

[@Terrapin47-s8y]

It’s almost like she has to be useless to you for it to work

[@LLyrik09]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 exactly

[@jackdeniston59]

That has been my experience. Share my emotional experience? I have solved it already, so pointless. Except, that, by doing so, once agai, I am providing value, to HER. WTF do I ever get? Just more burden.

[@brianhoyt3780]

Yes, and then I ask a woman, "What do you add to my life.

[@krejziks3398]

it is like that, man should want a woman for the want, not the need.

[@Terrapin47-s8y]

@@krejziks3398 the force of "want" is not strong enough to hold a society or culture together. Great things don't happen because people want them to happen. They happen because people need them to happen. This is a very neoliberal perspective that is destroying the west. Needing is not bad. Wanting is not enough.

[@_Trakman]

Validating emotions is like empathy. "Oh, i see that you're sad. That must be hard." "do you want to talk about it more?" That's not fixing or taking ownership off of the guy. That's just healthy empathy, and NOT invalidation: "no you're not sad! you're just fine!" Fixing is a male projection, women don't want to rush in and "fix".

[@kalynsloan495]

Well said. I don't want to fix problems, I want to hear you and be in that emotional space with you, beside you. As a woman, empathy comes very naturally to me, so I naturally want to exercise that empathic skill. A mature woman who wants a healthy connection wants to see you thrive and is not interested in control.

[@delphinebrooks5110]

@@kalynsloan495 I would say a mature woman wants to explore life and share experiences which can only happens in within a healthy connection. Many women (despite really not aspiring to it) end up to play the role of the father that most men never had. And the role of the father is to control and to challenge while the role of the mother is to nurture...to want to see someone "thrive" or to control are both parenting.

[@kalynsloan495]

@@delphinebrooks5110 I appreciate your response because it reminds me of the power of words, and of the roles context and beliefs play. It also reminds me not to speak on behalf of others, but only of myself. I definitely understand how a parent wants for their child to "thrive" and I appreciate you pointing that out. However, I use "thrive" in other contexts, too. To me it means to reach the potential *you* want for yourself, to realize your personal goals. It's a word I use commonly in my communities and it's something I wish for anyone I love (and not in any kind of controlling way). So although we might not use "thrive" in the same way, perhaps we can agree that "control" is not part of our goal in having a healthy connection with a man.

[@delphinebrooks5110]

@@kalynsloan495 yes we can agree.

[@krisbaker3349]

I may have missed the point, but I think there is a big difference between a man telling his female partner about an upsetting experience or bad day or something that is troubling him in general, versus emotionally dumping on her in a dysregulated way. This video seems to me to throw out the baby with the bath water. I have experienced both types of exchanges. The latter leaves me feeling dispirited, the former is vital for me to understand the man and bond with him.

[@norswil8763]

I’m fairly sure he defines the difference between sharing passing feelings, eg. A bad day at work, and full on disregulation and emotional dependancy. You’ve got it correct though, my last relationship began with my ex telling me how amazing it was to be with someone so emotionally available, an empath as I am… until, years later leaning on her for emotional support when I went through some life struggles, became emotionally unregulated, she lost all attraction for me overnight and left me within a month. She got the ick, after we’d been deeply in love. So yes, massive difference.

[@theimaginarium]

Absolutely brilliant. Excellent video. I would add that women who say "share more" are wanting to simply know what your feelings are so they don't have to guess. That's also a part of it--it helps them trust that you're not hiding emotions from them.

[@DanErvin]

Personally ai have no problem with the woman Not providing that emotional caretaking role for my feelings, etc. AS LONG AS she does not require the same thing from me (and moreso, beign increasingly resentful or bitter when the man doesn't provide that) I keep hearing this ideea that a man has to be this container , and emotional space holder for all the female emotional chaos, neglecting the fact that 1) the man has his own emotional things to regulate (which isn't always easy) and 2) the capacity to self regulate is a trademark of maturity (think it was said in this video as well), so why is this maturity expected from the man but not from the woman as well ? why is it a man's job to constantly regulate and soothe the womans changing moods and states ?

[@hieug.rection1920]

This is why all of historical societies did not count women as equals to men. They are adult children and need to be managed as such. The man must take possession of his wife and own the responsibility that comes with being her caretaker while recognizing that she will never be his caretaker. Be the leader and treat her in this fashion and she will then be “in her feminine” and submit. Companionship comes from the other men in your tribe. Damn, Islam is right about women….

[@DanErvin]

@@hieug.rection1920 Adult children. Precisely my recent conclusion on the matter. (evan though they are very capable human beigns, in many ways surpassing some/most men, they seem to ... turn off those capacities when they are no longer single)

[@Straga_Severa]

Ok, but men clearly need to validate women. And not get anything in return emotionally. Men exist just to be used, right?

[@dirimi6352]

That's what I felt. It's depressing to think you are restricted in sharing your own emotions with someone closest to you just even though it's fine for them to do it

[@notashton.]

​@dirimi6352 share your emotions once she has proven that she is safe to share it with. Go to therapy to talk out wmotions u til you find a partner that is mature enough to be there for you

[@avostorm8111]

To add, having good guy friends will help too. Guys all understand these things and will listen. Yeah they might be, odd but they won't just abandon you. ​@@notashton.

[@yougotgroove]

I get it. Only validation I need is from within my self. Period.

[@4983kurt]

This definition of validation is just not true. Validation is not about fixing or attempting to solve or even make another person feel grounded in their body or better about themselves. Not at all. I won’t get into all of the detail but validation speaks more to intimacy, emotional engagement and connection. Validation tends to ask more questions than offer solutions. When we validate well there is a positive correlation to feeling felt and understood. Validation does not care about gender. Men need it just as much as women.

[@realprimeart]

This is so true!

[@Broomy718]

Interesting, I agree with what the OP is saying on this subject. I never needed a man to "validate" my feelings, I simply needed them to respect them and not dismiss them out of hand. I will do the same in return. I expect a man I am in a relationship with is to own his feelings and deal with them. I am more than happy to listen (if he needs an ear to do so.) What I find with some men, is they often need empathy, agreement, management AKA "mothering", as the OP states. This emotional labor has driven me out of my last two relationships. It is simply exhausting. I also now avoid men that have few friendships, because I know it leads to me becoming the "one-stop-shop" for trauma and emotional dumping.

[@jackdeniston6150]

So, what value are you to a man? Listening? This is nothing.

[@Kennethkohzm]

As a married man of a few years, makes sense

[@survivor_of_the_ashes]

This is exactly what happened. Thank you for opening my eyes.

[@jimcol4986]

Never ever show weakness to a partner the relationship will end.

[@12BY6]

So true...I have Grenaded three marriages answering their desire for me to be vulnerable and was called too sensitive and emotionally weak.Now you get no insight into anything I feel.

[@geneetaful]

Hate to admit it, though not as simplistic as stated, but it is very true.

[@b.a.johnson5820]

I've heard that said so many times. In my exerience I would have to agree with that too.

[@george-trad]

Yes, I have to agree.

[@HeathCliff95]

There are some big misconceptions and assumptions in this video. It’s a nope for this one.

[@emmapayne3151]

He did say that if it’s about something the woman has done she should apologise and acknowledge the impact her actions had on him. Which is fair. What you shouldn’t do is rely on another person completely responsible for your emotional regulation because it parentifies your partner and kills the passion. I think The ideal is mostly self regulation with sharing, and the occasional healthy coregulation.

[@zaSneakyTcikleR]

Well that's an important fucking nuance! Thank you for these insights.

[@NoFace-cu4zd]

I notice this video is only pertaining to some other external problem not involving the girl we're talking to. What if the issue is something involving the actions of your girlfriend though.. shouldn't the discussion/validation take place from the girlfriend vs dismissing your thoughts/feelings and for it to go undiscussed? Seems like this would lead to her being lazy in the relationship and knowing she can just ignore your thoughts/feelings anytime she feels like it. Thoughts? Thanks!

[@purphrt]

This is exactly what I was thinking I agree with everything if it pertains to feelings that derive outside of the relationship but not if it’s feelings your getting from your partner

[@marquise7200]

My girl said I don’t talk about my feelings enough. I really don’t understand it’s throwing me off man.

[@avostorm8111]

Here's what you do. You tell her you are fine. You then take your emotions to a group of guy friends and vent there or a therapist.

[@marquise7200]

@@avostorm8111 see and that’s what I always thought man this specific girl confuses me.

[@avostorm8111]

​@@marquise7200at the end of the day man, there are two things to learn, girls don't give a f about your feelings/emotions. Too many men have stated that as soon as they open up, even if the girl wants him to, the girl will lose interest. 2. We as men are always replaceable. Girls can go on any dating site and have an ungodly amount of choices. She can chose if she wants to hook up, have a casual friend, or finds long term relationship all before you even know what's happening. It's not the old days anymore where people work together, made mistakes and grew. Now, if you make a mistake, people will just leave. Don't get me wrong man, shit hurts my chest typing it out but I don't see it getting any better for us.

[@Darkhalo314]

I'm in the same situation. My girl of 4 years always tells me that she is frustrated that I have never opened up or cried in front of her.

[@yougotgroove]

My ex girlfriend shows only one emotion.... Anger. Constantly seeks validation from many men

[@Vriskh4oj]

Yea, I don't agree. As a man I cant be composed all the time, its unnatural especially if its caused by her behavior. If you can't participate, help, empathize, be focused or interested, its like she's useless.

[@rebekkas.9421]

I agree! Only the man/woman - lets say all ppl want to See that the other is mature enough and able to regulate his/her emotions. Validation in conflicts in the opposite is interactional...

[@steelydan146]

Every nice guy should tattoo this on their arm: SSOV "stop seeking outside validation"

[@OneOneThree-wl7ml]

Why? External validation is extremely important. Thsts why we developed statistics.

[@shatzoren1]

If women come to men for validation constantly and men do not reciprocate, and women forgo sex during maternity years without men having extramarital sex, then effectively not only women are parentified for their children, men are also parentified for their wives. The only way to avoid parentification is reciprocity and balance of autonomy and inter-dependence. Loss of balance is an effective parentification. Codependency would be the case when one person needs the other person for validation which he cannot provide for himself whatsoever. If this had been the case of most women to begin with, why would anyone consciously pursue them. There is more to sharing and validating than mere codependence.

[@this.is.lapc506]

I think, starting at minute 6:04, this is the best piece of dating advice I've ever heard, since I can personally relate to this. My own father does not have male friends he can rely to, and he has recently started losing his sense of self-reliance, and my mother (they're still married and living together, I live with them) has started to realize she's not responsible for his own emotional stability, moreover since she is a fibromyalgia patient. Therefore my father has started to get consultation from a therapist who he can vent off with. I realize this is one of the biggest differences between me and my father, it is that I have MALE close friends from multiple social circles (unrelated between each other) whom I can expose myself to. Women should start changing their wording too, being explicit about the fact that they are not our mothers nor our therapists, and that men should stay in contact with their other male friends too. Also, women should be more open about letting their partners to spend time with their friends, without feeling jealousy or being afraid to be kicked out of the relationship. Women' fears of being let alone can be dangerous too.

[@ManTalks]

Glad this landed for you brother. Having male friends is key!

[@TheWewanater]

It just kind of sucks to have to be her emotional support system and provide "validation'', but as soon as the emotional dynamics are flipped I should figure it out myself, and or find another man to help because I can't get the same support from her that she demands of me. At least that's how I'm understanding it. please correct me if I'm wrong. @@ManTalks

[@str8gigachad124]

Would like you to cite the research you're talking about. Keep up the good work!

[@alessandrosjournal3272]

Very clear, informative & helpful. Thank you from a viewer!

[@AlexisHoltzer]

No no he’s telling the truth. I am a woman. Married for a year now & I want to know that my husband is mature and capable of handling his emotions instead of running to porn or other addictions. I have already expressed that I do not respect men who watch porn & he has made the decision to change it. He also has been very depressed lately and I haven’t seen him do anything to make it better besides blame me

[@El_MA11]

So important. Thank you.

[@jamilsalih9724]

3:26 so what's the point of talking about something if you're not going to fix it ?

[@dejd]

Does this apply to women also? For example, if we create her internal experience of jealousy, dissapointment or confusion because do we need to validate that every time? And what if those situations happen very often?

[@Miko-yw5xt]

well said...x

[@sbrooks904]

this is very true and the main reason why i will never trust a woman fully ever.

[@LLyrik09]

So in other words getting a escort and a dog is a better trade-off than being married gotcha 😅

[@bezoznaught5261]

nah man sorry, got half way through the video and you lost me, you're saying it's ok for women to continue not showing men empathy, it's backwards.

[@hieug.rection1920]

He’s not saying it’s ok. He’s saying that’s how it is.

[@dandaman9009]

And I’m saying that I have no sympathy and no empathy for Women. It’s strictly transactional, hurry up big government and make tricking legal, I’m tired of playing games and hiding how men and women really are and how we feel about one another. They hate us, we hate them, I can live with it. Love and relationship and marriage are all BS and a waste

[@makerKID5]

It's not okay but the alternative is you being constantly disrespected. Pick a struggle. De-center your life away from women.

[@OneOneThree-wl7ml]

When I tell a woman that I love her, and she neglects to reciprocate telling me she loves me.. I feel invalidated. I feel invalidated because I feel she doesn't love me back, perhaps incorrectly. I tell her I feel this way because I want her to know how I feel and to correct my perception either by changing her behavior or demonstrating that she loves me. She has no obligation to do either of those things, however the reason validation is important is because if I don't feel loved, for whatever reason, it's going to be hard to continue a monogamous relationship with her. Not having my feelings validated means a literal financial and physical threat to my well being. If I don't feel loved, our plans to buy a home together and have kids are at jeopardy. There should be no pressure for any of this. "Handling it on my own" basically denies her the opportunity to strengthen our relationship and denies me the meaningful connections required to build a happy comfortable and healthy marriage with her. "Handling my feelings on my own" means simply ending the relationship, or definately refusing to buy a home together. It's not about punishment. Not feeling loved in that monogamous situation is a literal threat to my financial well being and compels me to take measures that may be of disability to both of us if she DOES love me, which she very well may. Telling her how I feel is a great way to empower myself in making decisions in the future (such as buying a house together or not, or having kids together or not, or moving to another state for school or not etc etc) and also empowers her to make minor changes and corrections to make me feel loved. If she wants the relationship as much as I do, it behooves both us for me to tell her when i don't feel loved, and it benefits her to know I don't feel loved and it benefits benefits both of us in both of these ways, and it also benefits us for her to have the opportunity to perhaps change to build a better union, or perhaps understand what is the issue causing this and take steps accordingly... in most instances its such a simple solution.. telling people how you feel is so graceful and elegant a solution...

[@FarazAsim-b1i]

i hate to say this but now i know why i kept women in a trauma bond for years as a way to punish them for showing me indifference each time i shared my emotions or positively validated them@@makerKID5

[@AgentQQ8]

Gross. What is a woman good for, if not this? Dude, aimless cloud talk is half of what I consider a relationship. If she’s not down for some aggressive dream studies, I’m out.

[@12BY6]

In other words get a therapist but never share your feelings with your woman or she sees you as a little bih, game over

[@KJ-pu8dw]

The ‘share you thoughts and emotions’ is a siht test. These tests never stop. A man must be stoic.

[@diegotejera2742]

Don't need validation.. Just spare me the constant criticism

[@menendesign6587]

If a man is confident in himself, why should he need a woman to validate or reassure how he feels?

[@WT7791]

So many hoops to jump through to get respect. SMH.

[@trisabremaelstrom2225]

Simply put you are on your own as a man. However, she wants you to check in with her so she feels okay. Simply put, being vulnerable is about making her feel okay but she doesn't feel okay with her own emotional state. In short, emotional vulnerability that women allude to is actually her projecting her own emotional insecurities and lack of trust on to the man, so she feels safe. It's not about you. It's about her. In short, just say I'm fine. Talk to your boys only and give her only the bare minimum. Sounds simple enough.

[@respomanify]

In other words, women provide barely anything and expects everything in return.

[@carmeld45]

If that is the case, why do you chase after them, dream of them, pay for them, work hard with the hopes fo capturing them, if they have no value

[@respomanify]

​@@carmeld45 You assume quite a lot things.

[@thefunctionofjames]

It makes me sad to watch a video like this and see just how different straight men and women see each other. It's heartbreaking.

[@geneetaful]

Straight? There is a huge difference in emotional and brain in women from men. It’s a fact. Don’t know what you are meaning but whatever works for you.

[@ChristopherFox-b8m]

So what should men expect from women? Seems to be nothing or whatever they chose to give.

[@JuZzFlyZone_Est1987]

I 💯 percent DISAGREE.. EVERYONE needs to be heard needs help processing and needs help with validation. This is the start of unhealthy mental illness.

[@angelcandelaria6728]

Wow…. 😂 no wonder most of us self destruct by 60. No wonder conversation gets shorter as time passes. The ROI is not there at all 😂

[@geneetaful]

At 10:40 she apologizes and acknowledges for her misdeed but HE CANNOT LET IT GO EVER. how long must you validate his damn feelings?

[@VagabondTexan]

The same could be asked when the roles are reversed. It is to the point of being a cliche, and you can ask virtually any man this, that things we said 20 minutes ago may not be remembered, but saying we didn't like her haircut, or forgetting to do something , or admitting vulnerability will be remembered forever, saved, and then brought up when deemed appropriate.

[@jimcol4986]

When men get divorced, they don't have the social network that women do.. There is no one male or female to tell your problems to accept for a professional therapist

[@dank2820]

I find this a rather broad statement. Maybe my situation was not common but I had a social network to go to when I got divorced

[@b.a.johnson5820]

@@dank2820 I"m in my mid-60s and went through my divorce in the latter 90s. In that time frame and back most men didn't have that much of a social support system. So from a historical perspective I have to agree with @jimcol4986. I think it's better for yournger men now.

[@alexmatthews6878]

Brilliant! 👍🏼

[@bare-metal]

This is easy to understand,a real man makes sacrifices. If you don’t make sacrifices then you’re not a real man, end of story.

[@omartrachen6794]

Naah man, "sacrifices" nowadays mean you give yourself away and get nothing in return, men are able to function 100% if they get their needs met...

[@Duck72432]

do all the work ourself and take on all her bs too? she takes my time and energy i make less money, dont see the point what's in it for men?

[@hieug.rection1920]

Kids. Help raising those kids and maybe some housework if you manage your woman correctly. Possibly some social standing if your wife is pretty and treats you well in public.

[@wisemiik]

The way you explain it what’s even the point of being in a relationship?

[@peterpipper16]

I found this a little disheartening.

[@gregorylatta8159]

How dare we ask women to do anything 😆

[@walterwong6970]

He is actually projecting his anger toward his ex into this video.