Women Share Stories About Why They Have Decided To No Longer Breakup In Private Part 1

Women share stories about why they are no longer breaking up with men in private.

[@txspacemom765]

Men worry about money, women worry about their lives.

[@tourmelion9221]

They don't even really, they just make a fuss out of it so that they can make up some bad press on women and hate on them

[@WaitingForYukiOnna]

Men worry about women lying to destroy the lives they have built up; ruining their social connections, taking away their kids because court systems bias women, family, house, car and devastating their financial stability. In doing so, forcing men into a situation where they are forced to take their own lives. There are countless cases of women lying, and trying to do this around the world. But you know what most men don't do? They DON'T say "hey, look at what these women did. THAT'S EVERY WOMAN!" Get therapy. Get help. There are no laws against lying to destroy someone's life. There are laws to against murder.

[@77kc_77]

Facts

[@feliciajenkins5041]

Men worry about control

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

LITERALLYYY

[@jmjenkins97]

yet men are shocked women chose the bear

[@4ElementGirl]

"It DoEsN't MaKe AnY sEnSe!" /s

[@ColdDiva]

I’ll choose the bear and my cat any day!!!

[@Liz-wz8dh]

@@4ElementGirl Yes, because the bear will EAT YOU according to them...

[@humbleheart2650]

🐻 for $100 Alex

[@ds37215]

​@@Liz-wz8dhyeah, and that's a myth. Most bears do not eat humans even on the rare occasions they fatally attạck them. Most (not all, of course) of the attạcks are by mama bears just protecting their offspring.

[@BabalonNuit]

Ladies: DON'T FORGET YOUR PETS. Your ex will for sure unalive/harm your pets if you leave them behind after a breakup!

[@77kc_77]

💯

[@nogooddeedgoesunpunishedng3814]

Excellent point and often overlooked in this discussion about getting away after ending a relationship. Sometimes women will stay, because they don't want to leave their beloved pets; most shelters don't allow pets. It is just best to avoid these toxic relationships all together; however, I understand that we are not guaranteed a non-abusive, peaceful, and loving relationship, and that many women will eventually decide to leave a relationship or marriage even if they have children.

[@charlotteschnook1351]

My ex killed my dog and ferret.

[@nogooddeedgoesunpunishedng3814]

@@charlotteschnook1351I am a dog and cat lover, and that would hurt me so bad if someone were to hurt my 2 cats. Glad I don't have to worry about that, because I am not interested in dating a man right now in my life.

[@briskettacos]

I know this is going to sound so callous, but if he's holding the pets hostage, you still need to escape. You are worth more than a cat, dog, guinea pig, teacup pig, rat, ect. You may be able to prove pet ownership and get a police escort to retrieve them, but do not die for a cockatiel.

[@ssance]

My mother left my abusive father in complete silence, she tells me the story of how he went on a work trip and she got this big camper van and was packing her stuff plus me & my siblings stuff in this van (I was still a baby) and he came home early. He came in the house like a bolt of lightning slamming open doors like he was searching for something-later she told me she realized that he thought she had another man in the house-then he simmered down and went back to his office without a word. When he went to his office my mom packed us up and got TF OUTTA THERE!! Imagine what would’ve happened to her and me and my sibling if she did the corny crap of telling him that she’s going to leave him? I probably wouldn’t be typing this story. He realized she left him when they spoke on the phone and she was already in another state. Ladies this shit is serious please don’t be polite or snarky when breaking up just be gone like the wind one day. If you need the drama or to be nice watch a drama or volunteer at a animal shelter.

[@guinealove3744]

I was part of a dance group. One member a 26-year-old with the mentality of 13, dated and married a young girl he had met when she was just 14. Her parents agreed to their marriage if he promised to allow her to fulfill her dream of becoming a lawyer. She did! He became insecure and in a jealous rage, deleted her and himself. You're correct. And by the way, the best dramas are the Korean ones. lol

[@corimoon3360]

@@guinealove3744 He didn’t want her to become a lawyer and just agreed to it to please her parents, once she became that lawyer his demon self couldn’t take it anymore. Her parents are insane for allowing this anyway.

[@kimleemoon]

@@guinealove3744 I agree K-dramas are my fav❤️

[@livalittle13]

My best friend told her man she was leaving him after catching him cheating. He murdered her. No response is a response, ladies. It isn't ghosting it's your life. I'm so happy your mom got away with you guys safely! She's a very brave and powerful woman.

[@preciouslyunhinged]

My mum.is planning the same thing,last year she said she wants me to move abroad with my sibling with student visa and potentially get permanent residency so she could visit as much and long as possible to not deal with him and I was like"why are you running just do it in his face bse he has done it many times b4" she looked at me and shook her head and now I get her....totally understand bse that man I also many times been paranoid that he is capable of doing sth dangerous and its why I refused to do my degree abroad .....GOD this is traumatic....I get her now and your mum is brave too

[@Childfree334]

I have NEVER seen a video of any lawyer advising men on how to get out of a relationship/marriage having to worry about their lives. With their money, YES. With their assets, YES. With 50/50 or primary custody of the kids, YES. Without having to pay child support, YES. But nobody warns men about being careful to protect their very lives. I wonder why? 🤔 (sarcasm intended)

[@amandasunshine2]

Probably because they're definitely safer than bears 😂

[@Warhead_235]

@@amandasunshine2well people do hunt bears. There is hunting seasons for bears

[@amandasunshine2]

@@Warhead_235 what?

[@tamiausten873]

​@@Warhead_235 exactly, it's like women and bears are on the same side of the spectrum: preys of men

[@legslikewhoa]

Wow I never noticed this discrepancy until you pointed it out. 😢

[@sourcandydoll]

To fumble a woman and then stalk her is crazy.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

💯

[@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables]

🎯

[@ajmpbangtanminyoongi]

It's so creepy

[@SmileyAdventures]

It’s insane!

[@traceylennon1204]

That never made SENSE!!

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

Also if you are in public and are under attack or feeling unsafe. Start screaming about your baby. Your baby is choking. Your baby is locked in the car. Your baby needs help. Never scream help me. No one will. Scream about your baby needing help and folks will start to come around.

[@rozlyn7233]

And if you’re in a car, HONK THE HORN! Just lay on it!!!! It’s so much louder than you can scream, it will draw even more attention.

[@farmhouseonthemountain]

In self defense class, we were also told to scream that there's a fire.

[@Nala15-Artist]

There's plenty of places where you are allowed to carry guns ...

[@briskettacos]

I read when I was younger, "Don't yell 'rape,' yell 'fire.' Fire is everybody's business.'"

[@gem9535]

@user-qz1ok3en6v I remember being in a motel with my bio (now disowned) father when I was 15. It was early in the morning when I heard this woman scream HELP ME at the top of her lungs. In clear desperation. I jumped up to help her in anyway. My bio father PUSHED me back onto the bed. I cried out “I just want to scream ‘I’m calling the police!’” because I had read that that usually scares off attackers in those situations. Just the knowledge that someone outside the situation is alert and involved is usually enough to scare off attackers. He told me to “sit tf down” and walked towards the window. He peaked through the blinds until the screaming had stopped. Then he just went back to bed. Keep in mind, this man was over six foot and well over three hundred pounds. Just the sight of him could scare someone off, but he forced me not to intervene and just… watched this random woman be hurt. I still think about that as an adult. I hope she’s okay.

[@nannaleifa]

Dating environment everywhere in the world are so awful rn, women can't take ANY chances things won't get ugly. Even after breaking up, we still gotta be wary of ex-turned-stalkers.

[@tamiausten873]

Can't say no to unwanted advances, can't leave bad relationship, can't move on from bad relationship 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ what did we steal from these men to deserve this

[@unicorn73212]

I'm not sure but they know there more privileged than women that's why I came over here on my day off by myself to get on a housing list you can get help off the streets easier if you show up by yourself with no pets, children or a bf. I shouldn't have to camp outside just to get a good place in line but I'm hoping one of these guys doesn't have all his documents with him he needs so I can steal his spot. That's not cool to adopt a dog on the street. Poor little baby needs a home.

[@77kc_77]

Yep, every guy I rejected ending up stalking me - now I avoid men all together for my own well being and safety - I don't deal with men at all

[@WaitingForYukiOnna]

best thing women who are afraid to take any chances can do is just to stay abstinent forever if you think things are so bad.

[@ds37215]

​@@WaitingForYukiOnna yup, abstinence for life or deal exclusively with ♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏿‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️.

[@tracyjacksonjackson4221]

I didn't say a word. I saw a lawyer, filed for divorce, packed me and the baby, left the apt. He was at work. He received divorce papers. While I was in another state with my sister. He called crying. I told him I was not going to couples therapy and I was not coming back. He immediately turned into a Psycho stalker. He became mean and vengeful. I'm so glad I was already in a safe place.

[@Nala15-Artist]

There are SO many details left out of this story....

[@michelleandreya7208]

🤔 I'm curious. What details were you looking for?

[@gem9535]

@@Nala15-Artist Okay, and? It’s a KZbin comment, not a novel.

[@77kc_77]

​@user-qz1ok3en6vDue to him being rejected is a start

[@cindychristian1700]

I knew a lady who left her abusive husband by sending her children down south to her mother's for summer vacation! She later went to visit her mother and never came back! She later married a very nice man whom she met down south!

[@beepbopboop7727]

As women we need to stop seeing the best in men and giving them the benefit of the doubt.

[@ShielaM-p1w]

Amen

[@77kc_77]

Facts

[@divine9100]

Neurological they're weird the same some just mask it more than others!! Women must wise up from all the programming that was taught and passed down!!

[@dequetta_lashae]

Definitely

[@hotandsoursoup2664]

Notice how a supposed man never steps up to help the woman.

[@photina262]

Yes, I knew it was going to be women who stepped in. I’ve never seen a man help women in DV but I sure as hell have

[@beepbopboop7727]

They are not protectors or providers.

[@Casey9636]

Exactly. Men were around in some of these stories, but did nothing.

[@CitySlickerButtKicker]

I had to help a store clerk being attacked by a man, and I turned around after the assailant walked away and saw a bigger man (6'2 at least) standing in the corner watching while me being 4'11" stepped in.

[@AndreiFantastic]

Yeah and they love to pretend they would step in. Nope, they’re going to protect themselves. There was a woman in India being brutally stabbed by a man who had been stalking her. Multiple men around her. They didn’t even step in to check on her when she was on the ground.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

One thing I have learned in my life is that the moment a man intentionally blocks the exit you better be ready to fight or jump out a window. I now make sure I am always between the man and the door. I won’t even go in an elevator alone with a man. If I’m in the presence of a man i make sure to have a clear path to escape at all times in every situation.

[@77kc_77]

Same I'll take the stairs every time

[@vogtrina]

My ex did that when I broke up with him we lived together after that was 5 years

[@snicksabea]

Blocking a path is kidnapping.

[@sistersforever0]

The amount of hoops you have to jump through when dealing with men is crazy. 😢😮‍💨

[@OGfromQueens]

And not worth it!!

[@snicksabea]

Sooo many.

[@audrablue515]

I think men are necessary to society and I'm glad we have them around. I certainly don't want to work on North Sea oil rigs or maintain a bridge to make sure it won't fall down. I've had my fair share of relationships and I've always acknowledged my part in the downfall of them. I've learned from each relationship and they've all made me a better person. Now that I have that knowledge, I realise I don't want a relationship with men beyond being related to them or working with them. In romantic relationships, they are more trouble than they're worth. I have a good life and it's peaceful and abundant and I wouldn't change it for the world. But having a man in my life would just ruin all the peace I've worked so hard for. No thanks.

[@Louise-u3w]

​@@audrablue515I am very sorry that men exist. This world would be so much better without them. There are enough women able and willing to do a man's work. The fact that you don't want to do that work doesn't mean that all women feel the same.

[@angeljohnson234]

Dating men is difficult. Breaking up with them can be dangerous. Stay safe ladies.

[@77kc_77]

You too ❤ I feel so good away from them

[@oval1624]

After I broke up and blocked this man everywhere, he finds my work email somehow and emails me to just meet him at the park and that he won’t spiral. That immediately was flagged to me as “and this is how you end up a statistic”. Why in the world would I meet my ex in a park after having blocked him everywhere? The lack of self awareness men and victim blamers have is audacious.

[@Louise-u3w]

I am a victim blamer, too. In specific cases. And i am never blaming the woman for the man's behavior, like some others. It's never because that she didn't cook enough, smile enough or talk back. The violence is always the man's fault. What is the victim's fault, however, is when she does not take care for her safety, when she gives him the opportunity to attack her, when she rejects the warnings of others, when she makes lame excuses for going back to him for the umpteenth time, etc. If you had gone that day to meet him, alone, unprotected, in spite of being warned, I would definitely blame you for being dumb.

[@farmhouseonthemountain]

Some men become unhinged during a breakup. They'd rather be miserable than see their possession walk out the door. Even nice guys can go nuts after a breakup. I agree with this.

[@audrablue515]

The trouble is, you never know how a guy will react when you leave. Even if things were good for the majority of the relationship and he didn't show any red flags. It's an absolute crapshoot and not worth the drama and fear.

[@guinealove3744]

My aunt tells the story of her husband who (fearing she would leave him) took his pew-pew from the holder and laid it across their bedroom dresser as she lay in bed. For the next week or so, she says, she cooked him the best meals, was quiet as a church mouse, and reorganized the house. So, it was quite a shock when he returned home and opened the door to an echo. The next time he saw her was to sign divorce papers. She told the judge not to bother with their assets as all she wanted was to live in peace. Just before he died (as a reformed Christian) he reached out to apologize. Some men view women as property that they can do with as they please. A very dangerous concept.

[@GwendolynPorter-w6c]

He only reached out to try to find out where she is/was! Personally I don't believed he was reformed, just angry she put foxed his azz! God bless your auntie!!!!

[@gem9535]

“Please forgive me so I don’t go to hell” Christians are the actual worst.

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

That’s why the saying “To leave a man you must leave like a thief in the night” is a thing. It’s so true. They will retaliate honey.

[@livalittle13]

I'm so happy for your aunt!

[@ShielaM-p1w]

​@@MewluMoon no they aren't taught this. This is part of their organisms programming bc they need women to survive the only way that survival sustains is if he own a life support appliance or a woman

[@DeluluIsTheSolulu]

In 2016, I was barely 26 years old. My ex was an alcoholic and highly controlling and abusive. I reached my limit after being with him for almost 7 years. I called my dad in secret and we set a date for him to come help me move. I hid boxes in the basement of the apartment where he never went. That morning I brought him to work like usual, and the second I got back home I called in sick to work, ran to get my boxes, and started packing. At 12 pm on the nose, at noon, my dad and brother showed up. We took all of my stuff, loaded my car, my dad's car, and my brother's car in one go, and we left. I went to live in another city with my brother. My ex stalked me for 6 months after until I threatened to call the cops on him. Ladies, be SO SO SO careful and look after yourselves (and kids if you have any) first. Your safety is NUMBER ONE.

[@corimoon3360]

It’s a shame women have to do all this to so much as break up with men but men still act like women “live life on easy mode” men are the worst.

[@Nala15-Artist]

Why did you wait to do that for six months? Should have done that as soon as the stalking pattern established. Why are you trying to be nice to your abuser?

[@carolinasuarez7294]

@@Nala15-Artistif you’ve ever reported someone for stalking you’d know that the police don’t take a one time incident. You have to gather enough evidence to show they’re stalking you. And even then! They’ll tell you that if he’s not actively threatening to kill you it doesn’t constitute for a restraining order.

[@carolinasuarez7294]

Also ignore these why didn’t you do this and why didn’t you do that and shoulda coulda woulda ah answers. Women still getting murdered and they do everything possible and EVEN then the criticism goes to their ability to survive the murder itself smh.

[@RainingPouringSnoring]

​@@Nala15-Artist adding to the first response... police will also ask you if you have dated the stalker. As if that somehow makes the stalking acceptable.

[@min_tea_]

I have never left a man in person. The one man I did have an in person conversation with I did it with a hammer in my purse.

[@briskettacos]

Men can still take hand weapons from you. That's why a firearm is safest, at a distance. Don't let him get close enough to disarm you.

[@77kc_77]

​@@briskettacos Yep I carry fr fr

[@min_tea_]

@@briskettacos I live in NJ and we just got concealed carry here, but I am not comfortable enough with my firearm yet. I don’t know if I ever will be.

[@jew-el1]

😂😂😂

[@prettybrain3]

😂😂😂🔨🔨🔨 That’s something I would do. I love this comment🩷💜♥️

[@PrincessPixieBell]

My abusive ex never excepted my break up. I had to disappear. I said I needed to travel for my job. My job literally saved my life.

[@lifeofmim]

My boss in Florida went home to breakup with her boyfriend and she was never seen again. She has been missing for over 13 years. Rest well Kelly Rowthwell 🕊️

[@vogtrina]

Did you report to police

[@strawberryfox8819]

​@@vogtrina Well, she's definitely reported missing, with the ex as a suspect.

[@Minass848]

​@@strawberryfox8819Sad

[@dietdrpepper15]

'Women are SOOOOO emotional!!!' coming from the gender that most often kills their partner when they want to leave. Maybe if men were able to feel feelings in their daily lives, when a break up happens, the only feeling they feel won't be rage. What about sadness?

[@corimoon3360]

They’re only angry because they won’t be getting sex anymore. They can’t feel real emotions because they’re evil.

[@Nala15-Artist]

Women: "Why don't men feel feelings?" Men: " Oh, I am allowed to show my feelings? Okay, I am sad about my position in society, sad about being mistreated, sad about ..." Women: "You know what my ick is? Men having feelings." Men: "..."

[@dietdrpepper15]

@@Nala15-Artist Perhaps the reason why 'women get the ick' is that they don't see men expressing feelings that aren't rage and anger.

[@kimleemoon]

@@Nala15-Artist Feelings are different that whining and having a pity party.

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

@@Nala15-Artist Men choose their position in society. If they have a problem they should talk to the people who built this society (other men). Btw men are the ones who tell other men to suppress their emotions …don’t forget that part. 😕

[@Rene-cn4jc]

I have a friend who I helped leave a situation. She left in one day. When he went to work, she packed her important items (anything she couldn’t take but was important she gave to me to send off later) ..went to the bank and withdrew 50% of the money from their shared acct, cut off her cellphone and I bought her another the same day. I bought her a plane ticket to go to her Mom’s place. She was on the plane the next morning and never looked back. Oh.. she purchased a Visa gift cards …removed her name from some of their shared accounts.

[@TKOin2life]

You are a good and trusted friend.❤

[@Rene-cn4jc]

⁠@@TKOin2lifeThank you. If I can help, I definitely will!

[@FireSilver25]

So glad she had you.

[@solangesewavi722]

​@@Rene-cn4jc merci beaucoup pour votre aide. Mais dites moi s'il vous plaît, est ce que vous n'avez pas eu peur pour votre propre vie après ?

[@felicagary5432]

That's how you do it

[@peachesandpoets]

Yes, I did it by pretending to be crazy until he dumped me. He took forever to piss off.

[@Childfree334]

The joke among men is that crazy women are the best in bed. Don't do that again. Just ask him for money or to pay your bills. He will leave you alone with the quickness.

[@ami-ps4em]

Omg I had to do the same thing

[@DanitiaAfonsoewa]

You that’s crazy it made me laugh a little and sad

[@dietdrpepper15]

YES! Uno reverse card that shit!

[@evilannie8884]

When I was ready to dump my ex bf. I started borderline stalking him. Took photos outside his house at night. Send it to him on auto-send at 3am. No context. Or I would set an alarm at 2am. Spend an hour straight calling him back to back. Texts in between calls asking him what whore he was with. Etc. Then switching up every other message about how much i love him. He was gone in 2 weeks once I started that. He ghosted me and I kept going until i knew he blocked me.

[@GodiZreal]

Yesterday I went to court to put a restraining order on this guy I dated for 2 months. 😒

[@athira_n_s]

🤯

[@HHCF713]

Im so sorry and please strap up for real!

[@muadhnate]

2 months? Dam. 😳

[@tourmelion9221]

God, I'm never gonna date after hearing all this shit, at least not anyone I didn't already know, it's way too risky, be safe, carry wasp spray with you, and work on your career so you can stay comfortable, and if you want a family dynamic maybe instead go for supporting a single mom you get along with, or adopting with a friend

[@ajlocs2361]

Get protection ASAP! For some reason after women file that paperwork the person escalates!

[@femmefatale71]

Now think about all the victim blaming men and male identified women do towards female victims of DV & SA. The highest time for deletion of women is when they TRY TO LEAVE.

[@enravotaboyadjiev7466]

I'm sorry, male identified women? What does that mean? I'm not trying to take away from your point, I've just never heard that term before

[@sistersforever0]

​@@enravotaboyadjiev7466 I think it's a term for pick me women

[@4ElementGirl]

@@enravotaboyadjiev7466 The Pickme(ishas), the Boy mom types. The female misogynists.

[@Anon06428]

@@enravotaboyadjiev7466in simpler terms it means “pick me girls”

[@legslikewhoa]

And when they are pregnant. 😢

[@GGoddess95]

I’ve sadly heard of women being unalived in public during child exchanges (split custody) or after he claims he just wants to apologize in person. Dating and marriage is just so risky.

[@mimi42428]

Exactly But the family court is so misogynistic. No matter how abusive these men are, they keep giving them access to these vulnerable innocent children and then forcing women to interact with them

[@SmileyAdventures]

I have heard and seen too many of those situations as well.

[@77kc_77]

Exactly, I never meet them alone always around family etc- I co parent with my ex husband he's not allowed in my house

[@77kc_77]

I'm so glad I avoid men

[@fnffnchfhc154]

The horrorstory men tell when they advice other men against marriage is that she could drain his bank account and he would be left with nothing. At least he would still be left with his life intact. The horrorstory women can tell is he might kill you

[@HHCF713]

I wouldn’t tell them anything and just ghost them or send them an email from an encrypted email anonymously. I briefly dated a guy that is high up the national security chain and was followed for several years even after I broke it off with him. Men are menaces.

[@angeloliver7613]

Maybe you should have reported him to his boss or something? He abused his power and job

[@wradraws]

Dear John that shiz😂

[@FireSilver25]

That’s so scary!!!! I’m glad you got away.

[@HHCF713]

@@angeloliver7613I can’t report him to people that I don’t know their name and title. You can’t ring up the Pentagon.

[@martibee8984]

That's extra crazy because he knows he's risking his security clearance.

[@someusername4129]

This is why I broke up with my ex via text. His response was "I'm not going to do anything." One of the most chilling experiences I've had.

[@corimoon3360]

Spoken like a man who was most definitely gonna do something lol

[@dilyaTebya]

Ok thats really scary😢 glad you are ok

[@Shay4YourMind81]

@@corimoon3360Yep, he told on himself 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@patriciaa4451]

The first lady’s story had my heart racing. I’m so relieved she got away. Bless the people who intervened to help her. There’s a saying in my country: “don’t interfere in matters of people who share a bed”. I hate this saying because by not helping out and giving up to the bystander effect you could be watching someone in the last hours of their life.

[@DivaDivine88]

I had this type of situation happen to me on multiple occasions with my ex in various ways..

[@fnffnchfhc154]

Notice it was a woman who stepped in and helped. Too many men would be like “I shouldn’t be interfering with another man’s business”

[@AniWho268]

@@fnffnchfhc154 but then at the same time, men say that women should rely on men to protect them 🙄

[@fnffnchfhc154]

@@AniWho268 dead women have relied on the protection from men. That says it all. I get that you might actually find a good and protective man but don’t ever expect protection from men who are strangers to you or even someone you know. And you gotta really watch the men you are dating to see if they would actually protect you. I think most women turn to other women in case of danger because the chance of encountering empathy is much higher from a woman. Some men really have a thought proces that says “does this affect me? No. Is it my problem then? No. Okay I’m going to continue on with my day and not help this person in need just because I have nothing to gain from it”

[@youforget1000thingsaday]

That's sad. Men can't even take rejection but we're the emotional ones. Unbelievable.

[@snicksabea]

They project a lot.

[@SmileyAdventures]

When I broke up with an ex from over 10 years ago, it was in his car. He was banging his head on the steering wheel and threatening to kill himself and quit his job etc. I said I don’t care and he grabbed my arm when I tried to get out of the car. He is still my stalker to this day and recently blocked his 5th IG account after seeing him peeping on my Ig story. These males are UNHINGED! I’m protected if you know what I mean so I wish he would try me in person. In the meantime, be careful ladies when you’re ending things with men.

[@77kc_77]

Wow it's not just ending things with them most them have an issue when you don't give them a chance they go bonkers too. I wouldn't date a former friend.. he got upset and started stalking me

[@beeticket]

Girl just get off social media. It's unfortunate someone had to ruin that for you, but the reality is that you have a stalker. You never know what he's capable of. I'm glad you're packing, but a decade-long stalker is going to be seriously unhinged.

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

I'm glad I don't bother, because every time I hear someone say that a man threatened to "unalive" themselves, my immediate thought is either "So?" or "Good." I know what TF that means. Manipulation. But if they really do it, my problem is over.

[@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables]

When they fumble the woman, it's one thing. When their inability to handle rejection turns violent, that's a whole other thing.

[@jjackeeeKooKz]

🌸 All Women Listen to this! 👩🏽‍🦰 Men can SNAP in Public! 👚👍🏾Yes!!!!!! Do Part #2!!🌸 👖If U want to Live-- Just Go!!!!

[@thekameru6058]

And they DARE call it 'Heat of Passion Crimes'. A man HAD to have come up with that name. That is *not* passion. Its raw hatred. I 100% believe that if a man shows the slighest hint of temper, you're fully justified in ending it via text. Or even no message at all.

[@kiml1226]

They use the term passion because murders/assaults like this don’t all come from anger it can also come from great sadness, desperation, despair, and pure insanity to name a few. The definition of passion is a “strong and barely controllable emotion” which is the perfect term for it since it encompasses all form of emotions. I’m not sure what u thought passion meant.

[@BigNoe-u7u]

​@@kiml1226 so in other words... Overly emotional crimes

[@73cidalia]

Rage is also a form of passion. Passion just means intense emotion.

[@Dani4Equality]

Honest to God, WHY EVEN BOTHER DATING AT THIS POINT?!?! Breaking up should NEVER end in death!!! #Ichoosethebear

[@77kc_77]

Sameeee will never date another man again

[@Golden.Delight]

Dear John Letters need a comeback.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

That old be the best. Dear John letters that women act out on video and post to TikTok 😂😂😂. But seriously I love writing letters

[@BabalonNuit]

"Dear John" texts/emails, you mean! AFTER one has already moved out to an undisclosed location!

[@maam-yj8ph]

Nope. Don't do it. They can use those communications to trace back to you and threaten your safety. DO NOT CONTACT THEM.

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

CRAZY HOW THESE MF'Z DON'T WANT TO TREAT YOU RIGHT. BUT THEY ALSO DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE!!! 🤔😑 I STRONGLY ADVISE IF YOU BREAK UP IN PUBLIC. IT IS AROUND PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU! (WHITNESSES & PROTECTION). PLEASE POST PART 2

[@ultravioletmix33]

They don’t want you to leave until they find your replacement. And the number one thought is, “Ugh, how am I going to get sex nooow!?!”

[@SmileyAdventures]

@@ultravioletmix33👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@BabalonNuit]

@@ultravioletmix33 Exactly! They don't want to lose their bang-maid until they have found another one- to treat like garbage!

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Don't do it in public either. Just ghost. Period. A LOT of people have been murked in public. Some people do not care. The one chick said that the guy jumped into her car and wouldn't let go even though people were watching.

[@knHebrew]

Society teaches us to be kind so evil people can get over on you

[@77kc_77]

Exactly

[@NeyamStar]

They teach us, no train us, to endure abuse and they raise men to abuse us We're socialised shittily when it comes to emotions Women are taught to keep them deep inside as not to burden or bother anyone Men are socialised to be violent to express their emotions and they are taught they have an entitlement to women We are sabotaged from (before) birth

[@GrrrlsRiot]

I wholeheartedly agree. My friend’s mom got taken from us 3yrs ago, the day she told her husband she is leaving and they are having a divorce. Even though he had a side chick and was obviously not interested in his marriage his reaction was horrific. He later told in court “it was an act of passion and he lost control over his emotions”… I was shocked, since I knew them for many years. One could think that grown ass men could have an adult conversation like that but he chose violence instead. Keep yourselves safe sisters ❤

[@destroyraiden]

They've been using depraved heart to get out of murder for males yet women can't use that since the males invented it.

[@metaphysicalfractionals4509]

Did he do any time?

[@ShielaM-p1w]

They use that to get off. And it works really well

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Please tell me he is rotting in jail for life

[@strawberryfox8819]

It's most often the cheaters that are the most possessive.

[@purevenus6359]

I had someone who I was “friends” with do just this. Stand behind my car as I was backing out. He was trying to force me into a relationship with him while I was already interested in someone else then when I went to leave to go back to my apartment he blocked my car. I then got out started chewing him out to move and he said “People are watching”. It’s like….. yeah you idiot! You’re preventing me from going back home at 1 in the morning!”

[@bluesky71512]

I just ghost people then block them. I don't care how they feel. They know why and I don't feel like I have to explain myself to anyone, ever. This has always worked for me.

[@angeloliver7613]

I think it's better to make sure they know you broke up, but from a safe distance and then block.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

That seems like it may work but some of these guys are obsessive and that will cause them to go into obsessively trying to figure out why you left and how to fix it. It's hard to avoid maniacs.

[@fnffnchfhc154]

I get what you mean but I think it is very important that we don’t use the word ghosting, but rather escaping in silence. Ghosting is a cowardish behavior used by people who run from responsibility. Leaving in silence to protect yourself from harm is not a cowardish behavior and has nothing to do with ghosting

[@stephaniefogelvik4756]

​@@fnffnchfhc154*cowardly

[@Liz-wz8dh]

@@fnffnchfhc154 True

[@shaolinqueen3684]

We got to get over feeling bad or being guilted about ghosting people. I am a master ghoster and I don't feel bad for ghosting people, especially men, especially to those who are unhinged. There is NO reasoning with them. Just bounce and be out.

[@christineinchrist7407]

I recommend ASSUME the man has violent tendencies when you’re planning to break up with him-and move in accordingly and in silence.

[@Madamecat7]

A couple of years back, I once heard a story on the news of a woman who decided to break up with her boyfriend. He asked if they could meet up and talk in person so that he could get closure. They were talking in the car (I forgot who's), and he asked if he could have one last kiss. She agreed, went in for the kiss... AND HE BIT HER LIP!!! HE seriously injured/disfigured her!! All because she broke up with him. Smh. The good news is he got arrested, she was able to get surgery to fix her lips, and she later ended up marrying the EMT who helped her that day.

[@77kc_77]

TF why would she meet him ?

[@ShielaM-p1w]

Do y'all believe rh Senate PEOPLE???!!!!

[@Madamecat7]

@@77kc_77 She mostly likely didn't think he would do that.

[@77kc_77]

​@@Madamecat7True luckily he didn't have a disease glad she's safe

[@sagittariusque8932]

​@@77kc_77society has done a number on women to make women feel like they don't deserve the world. You've hit the wall, you'll d!e alone with cats, body counts, big butts and breasts, fit is in, you're not married yet, single mothers, you don't have children yet, you shouldn't be hanging out, it's unladylike to drink or smoke, fake hair or boobs, you're on your _ marriage, how could you just leave and didn't say anything, your wrong for taking the kids, you're a gold digger, 50/50 conversation and etc. Society makes women feel bad or points fingers for choosing themselves

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

Lawyers to men: This is how you dont lose money, the custody of your kids or how you have to pay child support Lawyers to women: This is how you don't lose your life or the lives of your children

[@Nala15-Artist]

Yeah, because in most cases, women don't have to fight for the money, custody or child support. They just have it handed to them if they are not literal drug addled crazy cat ladies. Besides, this is a CRIMINAL DEFENSE LAWYER speaking on this video. The fact that he is a LAWYER ALONE means he is only getting exposed to cases where things go wrong because guess what? Agreeable people don't require lawyers in the first place. And being a CRIMINAL DEFENSE lawyer means he is ONLY getting exposed to cases where someone COMMITTED A CRIME. And those crimes are not reported on the other side of the gender divide, because guess what? The cops will not ask "How do we keep the male victim safe?" but "What the fuck did the man do to make the woman a criminal?" THAT'S why there are no male victim cases in his oh so precious textbooks!

[@leafyveins4985]

Or your other relatives/pets

[@kelliepatrick519]

That lawyer giving advice to women to breakup in public for their safety....he felt so strongly about this that he got choked up. That's a true man.

[@73cidalia]

Even in public is not safe. Just leave a note.

[@user-dq9rr9mv3f]

also let’s normalize not telling ppl where you work either. No he doesn’t need to drop you off, or pick you up.. Have family members they don’t know so you can possible go to.

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Also, make sure you have trustworthy family/friends, not ones who might rat you out to him.

[@user-lp5ci9bi2j]

I was abused and had to move with my kids to a shelter. This was 20 years ago and they 1st thing I was told was leaving is the absolute most dangerous time. Don't give them an indication you are leaving

[@JzanellJ]

This guy is speaking facts! Stop underestimating these men! I did it & ended up with a broken finger, running for my life & leaving all my belongings behind. I’m grateful to be here & this happened with a man I’ve known half my life!

[@smlorrin]

I'm not surprised that it was two *women* (the woman recording the incident and the woman who physically got involved) who stepped in to help her.

[@jinijinxer97]

A dude defended stalker-turned-murders saying how they only do this when pushed to the extreme to be cold & uncaring. They would literally defend the likes of them till death.

[@73cidalia]

Pushed to the extreme. What a load of BS. If anything, the woman is avoiding him or leaving him because SHE was pushed to the extreme.

[@latishagipson1239]

When I was little, my mom ghosted my dad after he went to work. He was abusive, so she had to be very strategic. We left and moved to L.A. with my aunt. People talk down so much on "ghosting" but sometimes that will save your life.

[@valenciaforshee]

They're the most logical and unemotional 🙄hmmm

[@luciadozier1267]

The biggest lie they’ve ever told

[@amandasunshine2]

Oh it's literally scientifically proven to be the opposite. Literally everything they say about us is actually proven to be true about them. They are worse drivers, leaders, and emotional regulators.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

I had to explain this to my ex boss that men are very emotional. That’s why most of them are in jail or prison .

[@amandasunshine2]

It's literally scientifically proven that everything they say about us is actually true about them. All projection

[@valenciaforshee]

@Goddess_Infinity Notice how many broken tvs come up during playoff time or the product of losing a video game? Imagine how many we don't see

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

I’m a law student and that attorney is correct. ❤ This is why I’m single. I don’t have time for the bs!

[@siantelove]

I'm so glad I followed my gut instinct to break up with this one guy over the phone because his 1st response to me telling him I want to end things was angrily exclaiming "but, I don't even know where you live yet!!!" Yikes! 😬😳, I'm glad I followed my gut instinct & didn't invite him over. Even after dating for months I just had a bad feeling. Ladies pls trust your gut!!!

[@77kc_77]

Ended things with a former friend, blocked him , and he started calling and texting like crazy until I relocated from him and I believe he's stalking my neighborhood - threatened to unalived himself due to rejection- I was so glad to get away from him and move back home

[@77kc_77]

These men are NUTS

[@siantelove]

@@77kc_77 I'm so sorry you went through this & so glad to hear you got away & you're safe 🙏🏾

[@77kc_77]

@@siantelove yes thanks me too

[@Jessica-go6cy]

I’ve broken up with people in private, never again an X has jumped on my car. I’ve done it over the 📱 he was screaming, so loud my sister could hear him in her room. There’s no easy way to leave someone who’s a@busive.

[@amyamyamy777]

My x jumped on my car too when I was leaving !!!

[@Jessica-go6cy]

@@amyamyamy777 This guy jumped on my hood, it was winter. My friend from work her X was hanging from her car door, down the highway in winter. Idk some of these guy’s, should have been stunt men at some point. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@madalice5134]

I would also say to tell only the people you can absolutely trust with your life, and only if you have to. If someone isn't actively helping you escape, don't tell them anything. My aunt told her family, only her mother and siblings and one of them got her k*lled. One of her sisters who she'd never gotten along with told him where she went out of spite, and he showed up in the middle of the night and took her life and ended his own. One of the people she should have been able to trust with her life is half responsible for her no longer being here. There were crocodile tears and the vile narc sister was "so sorry" after. She was only sorry because she's been scared that she's going to h3ll for what she did. I would say don't tell anyone, but I also know that you might need help getting away, and your life depends on who you put your faith in in those circumstances. Even then, only tell the one person who's helping to get you out if you have to. Go to ground and ghost till you can be reasonably sure that you will be safe. Your life is more important than anyone's hurt feelings.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

I'm sorry to hear what happened to your Aunt.

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Thanks for this so sorry about your aunt and her sister will definitely pay for it.

[@gem9535]

That ‘sister’ is evil.

[@madalice5134]

@gem9535 Definitely evil. She and her awful mother also covered for a s3xu@l predator that was SAing my cousin when she was 12 and got angry at me for calling the police when he did it to me when I was 15. But, ya know, he paid their utilities, so that made him a "provider" who was tempted by a child's shoulders. That family has made perpuating trauma, misogyny and SA a constant for generations. Thankfully I never have to see them again.

[@karenflynn6589]

My sister invited him over for dinner, told him where I was, and other things he could use against me in court. He found me right away and started harassing me at work, stalking me, trying to find out where I was hiding. I had to leave there because they had little kids, and I didn't want anything to happen to them. He was an absolute psycho, and had lots of guns and ammo. She denied it, but he told me things I only told her. Beyotch.

[@pishtash88]

I remember when I was about 16 or 17, I had a boyfriend who had an older brother who was in his late-20s. The older brother was telling him how his girlfriend just up and left while he was at work and took everything and ghosted him. I remember at the time thinking that's so mean how can someone just leave like that. But now that I'm an adult, I understand 100% why she left the way she did.

[@Dreaathome]

I ended my relationship 3 years ago by phone. I went no contact.4 months after that ,I changed my number and email. January 2024 he mailed me flowers. I'm looking to move next year.

[@snicksabea]

Smart. Document to others.

[@gemij.7181]

When I left my ex, I told him the day of and about 5 minutes before my brothers knocked on the door to help me move my stuff out. He was so angry but wouldn’t do anything in front of my brothers. I had already put the deposit down on my apartment 3 weeks earlier.

[@karenridgeway6365]

This is a very important conversation for women to hear. I was in two difficult relationships in my lifetime. The first man was a sociopath and the other was a narcissist. I was married to the first man 27 years before asking for a divorce and I had to be careful how I handled that man during the marriage because children were also involved. He was dangerous. The second man I left quietly and it was easier because we didn't live together. One day I just ghosted him. I blocked his number and any pathways to me. Now, I will never allow myself to be involved with a man again.

[@mndegrassi8]

I made the mistake of breaking up with my ex while we were still living together. He definitely had aggressive and violent tendencies of punching, throwing and breaking things when he got angry. Thankfully I found a place of my own and made it out before it had a chance to escalate. I would have definitely found a place first, then left when he wasn't home and called/ texted him to breakup if I had to do things differently. Thankfully he didn't have my new address, but eventually I did have to block him from everything when I realized he wouldn't leave me alone. Stay safe out there ladies! Leave quietly!

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

Ladies, please listen to this man and I hate continually bringing this up but as a corrections nurse, I witnessed a very good portion of the men incarcerated are there due to unaliving a significant other or ex and sometimes their own family member that told them to get out, like their mom or grandmother. You are going to have to understand that the mindset of patriarchy has NOT changed but the rights for women have. What was done in the past, cannot be done today, so when an xy is raised to think, you can treat your partner like trash and she will not be able to leave you and then she does, it's like a house of cards, that these xy's have been raised on and it all comes crumbling down in an instant and they react in that instant. So, move quietly and to safety and then proceed with the public breakup. Whether phone or text or whatever but don't ever ever ever "meet" him to discuss ANYTHING, because that is where they have laid the snare. I've listened to them talk in those cells while doing my rounds and some will act "cool" about the breakup and then want to meet up to make "arrangements" and then it's over and they have NO REMORSE after doing that, NONE. Stay gone.

[@BabalonNuit]

LADIES: YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS ^^^ PERSON! This is someone who has SEEN and HEARD FIRSTHAND what goes on with these men!

[@77kc_77]

Idk why women keep dealing with men knowing the nature of them and how they are - just avoid them all together for your well being as these men will destroy you from the inside / out - I watch my sisters go through hell DV , abuse , etc yet still with their toxic and abusive bfs and husbands

[@77kc_77]

Sisters are not happy married dealing with none of these men

[@iaintookthatbb6599]

I’m 28 and currently leaving someone now. Just packing now and my phone has been calls from him saying not to leave. Wish me luck it’s been 10 years and it’s enough. He’s a 37 year old man with the mindset of a 17 year old.

[@ChippyChappa-jr6gz]

Good luck hey r you in a safe place now

[@MangoldMang]

I hope you're safe

[@user-N20]

Wishing you luck in life and hoping you're safe now 🙏

[@tiffanimoore4343]

Please update us, are you safe?

[@StarShaye21]

I pray you got away safely ❤

[@rosewatersweettea]

Oh baby the amount of exes that have stalked me after fumbling me is ridiculous, I’ve been single for years and still have stalkers.

[@tashawilliams8093]

😮

[@77kc_77]

Same from men who assumed I wanted them despite me telling them I'm lesbian

[@gb917]

Same I still have stalkers too and I've never dated.

[@77kc_77]

Just avoid them all for your own peace of mind

[@BobDeGuerre]

Same. I dated a 23 yr old guy when I was 16. Broke up 3 yrs later. I ran into him at a bar 30 years later. He started talking about the "good old days" for a solid 20 mins before he said he didnt like me with short hair & that I should grow it out again. The look on his face when I showed him the male gender marker on my DL was precious, and when he asked was it anything to do with our relationship, I looked that balding toad in the eyes & lied thru my teeth: "why, yes, Barry- that's exactly why I did it" then I left. Cackling with glee. Heard later from several folks that he had a huge mental breakdown over it, and lost any chance of shared custody of his son he'd become so unbalanced by the news. After 30 years mind you. I ran into him 6 years later w/a full beard & mustache & he was so jealous bcz he can't grow facial hair except in patches. After staring at me for over an hour, he finally came up to me & said 'i bet your chest is hairier than mine too' so i unbuttoned my shirt to my waist, flashed him my flat hairy chest & lied through my teeth again, saying "talk about hairy, you should see my balls." He turned bright red & left the bar in a hurry. 😂 These days when he sees me he just stares at the ground hoping I don't see him & it feels SO good knowing I've broken this toad down in his soul. And no, I hadn't thought of him in over 20 years when I transitioned. I knew back in kindergarten and so did all my peers. Girls can be incredibly cruel to girls who don't fit in, & boys have no problems beating the living crap out of a girl they don't like. I was beaten, harassed & shunned by most of my peers from kindergarten to graduation, so I'm familiar with violence & its effects. Ive been beaten & r@ped in all 3 of my unsuccessful marriages, & it just got to the point where I couldn't pretend to be a woman anymore. Needless to say, I don't trust anyone sexually & am quite content with my cat, my books, my friends & my career such as it is. I have a lot of love to give but I give it to myself, my family & my friends bcz nobody else has earned it, much less deserves it.

[@gem9535]

My first boyfriend turned abusive after a whole year of dating. I asked my now-sister (we adopted each other in high school) to be next to me when I broke up with him because I just didn’t feel safe around him. She said, “don’t even need to ask.” She’s tall af and built like a brick house, so EX boyfriend took on long look at her and never bothered me again 😂

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

I don’t think my mom would have been alive if she broke up with her ex husband in person. She laid the facts for him in text when she travelled abroad and moved permanently. And we are still proud of her.❤❤❤❤❤

[@Niona_Shashai]

I ghosted my abuser a decade ago! My son is thriving and so are my edges! Number one rule of leaving a man. DONT TELL THAT MAN!! Move in so much silence you forgot what your own voice sound like. You don't need permission you don't even need a support team. I left 6 months pregnant on a megabus with $60. That was a decade ago. YOU GOT THIS❤️

[@BigNoe-u7u]

Wow you was pregnant 😢 I'm glad you and your son is safe

[@Divinefeminine03]

I left my ex while he was at work. I wasn’t risking being a statistic

[@77kc_77]

Sometimes you gotta leave everything behind

[@77kc_77]

Had to leave everything behind dealing with plenty of men not worth it

[@AndyyWithAY]

If you have to go back to the joint home, bring someone with you. Preferably a man. I heard a story recently about an Asian woman, Japanese or Korean, can't remember. She went with her mother to breakup and the guy knifed both of them. Mom survived, she didn't

[@kimleemoon]

That was in Korea.

[@77kc_77]

Best to get law enforcement involved

[@sagittariusque8932]

​@@77kc_77yes because they're the best option. Men have kill3d male friends and family members too. Some even went after the cops but that's what they are there for to protect and serve

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

@@77kc_77 A LOT of the time they don't care, partly because a lot of women go back several times and partly because their own D*V rate is high AF.

[@73cidalia]

Police escort. Even men get killed in these situations.

[@TKOin2life]

I really wish there was DV insurance with a relocation rider that existed. Maybe partner with airbnb and their network for anonymous safehouses.

[@lindadewese6754]

Make it happen,you know theres a need.Look for grants

[@patduffyforever]

Brilliant idea! Would help many women.

[@martibee8984]

Insurance companies do everything in their power not to pay out. They would probably require proof that you're being abused before helping you.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

Thank you for your specific trajectory with these videos. I’ve been trying to get out of an abusive relationship thinking he’s not like that. But then all of a sudden I started seeing videos from you about leaving in silence and violence against women and now this. I am a strong believer is signs and I am hearing this one loud and clear. I have shut my mouth and now move in silence.

[@femmefatale71]

We are rooting for you sweetheart meditate on it and plan. GOOD LUCK!!!! XO

[@Wonderwoman79G]

For the love of God,please make your move asap and move silently.

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Glad this is helpful we are rooting for you ❤️❤️

[@AshleysFitnessParty]

Get out and please trust your gut sweetie you have one life to live ❤praying 4 u

[@daishawilliams8301]

I had a crazy ex that couldn't take no for an answer and when he cheated on me for the second time yes I know I should have left him the first time but I was young and dumb in high school so I finally had the courage to dumped him over text message and went ghost it saved my life and soul.

[@starlingswallow]

The ex-husband was very violent around me. Just me, nobody else. He was out of town driving back home when I called him and left him a voicemail letting him know I was going to be getting a divorce. I turned my phone off and blocked him and went to my parents house. I had nightmares that this monster was going to set my parents house on fire while we were all inside. That's how afraid of him I was! I felt kind of bad, but I'm very, very very very glad I did it this way!❤ people, please stay safe!

[@ShielaM-p1w]

It's crazy that your dad knows what men are like and never told you to not marry, only to have his life being risked. That's Soo crazy

[@blackcherry6877]

Send a text or call, change your number. They can snap in public too.

[@rosew2684]

My mother is no longer with us due to an argument with my sister's father. 4.27.12, it's been 12 years and I'll still never forgive the man who took her away. I'm never going to take that chance with a man. I still want to love and be loved, to build a future and a family, but if we had to leave in the night to protect my children or myself, TRUST that I am gone like the wind.

[@77kc_77]

I'm never dealing with another man again men show every time why we shouldn't trust them

[@77kc_77]

Sorry about your mom I stay away from them escaped and survived narcissistic abuse recently now healing and fleed one town to get away from a toxic former friend who I believed wanted to unalive me due to rejection

[@rosew2684]

@@77kc_77 I'm sorry about your past situation too friend. I hope current days are much better, you seem like a very strong and beautiful person 💜

[@77kc_77]

​@@rosew2684Thanks my entire life has been changed because of these men and I suffered enough trauma from these men

[@personneici2595]

My husband turned from passively (emotional/psychological) abusive to actively abusive (verbally abusive and I feared for my safety) in a split second at the end. I had been with him for 13+ years. Don't risk it. I didn't see his abuse until the very end but he had been manipulative all along and made me passively suicidal. I am free now and no longer suicidal at all. Be safe

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

This is why I ALWAYS listened to older women advice since a child, “When you breakup with a man, you have to leave like a the in the night. Never do it in person alone.” As I got older it all made so much damn sense.

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

Some of y’all ain’t passing the vibe test in here. Y’all want a part 2 yet I’m seeing these condescending and judgmental comments. If someone never had prior experience with a abusive boyfriend idk why y’all expect her to perform perfectly in her exit strategy. If y’all want more women to feel comfortable telling their stories GIVE THEM GRACE. 😕

[@sagittariusque8932]

Exactly because "why don't you just leave" is harder than most people think. Some get out faster and safer than others. You have children you're scared to do split custody with. You don't have a place to go nor help in other states, cities, counties or towns. You have laws that doesn't just allow you to just up and leave with the other parents child(ren). You have guys making good on their words of "if I can't have you nobody can, you can't outrun bullets, if I catch you and etc". They are offing family members and friends to get to you (to unalive or show you they mean business). One lady said in an interview she stayed because it was easier, he knew where she was and she knew where he was. I don't know a single soul who prayed to be in a DV situation. I've seen people say they're no longer friends with a victim because they gave up info to the guy. I do understand that in a way because you have to be safe as well but women stay because nobody wants to get hit nor d!e. Don't give up information and see what happens, try leaving and see what happens, stop talking and see what happens, fight back and see what happens. Sometimes you start praying for him to d!e so you can finally get away. You even get to a point where you ask him to pull the trigger because de@th has to be better. Thing is he wants you to live so that he can continue to @buse you.

[@j.munday7913]

Exactly, it depends on so many circumstances. The man, your resources, your responsibilities, what kind of support you have.

[@assianeu197]

PART 2 PLEASE. This is confirmation of what I have sensed before. Last man I been with is 45 so over 16 years older than me. I met him twice on a friendly/professional basis bc we are both musicians considering collaborating, then we had one romantic date, and he acted stupidly and dustily when the bill came. That's when I call it off the first time. He came back begging, I gave him a second chance then he went psycho over the phone when I told him I felt objectified by couple comments he made. That sent him into a spiral of explaining to me how I was wrong for accusing him of being uncompassionate, and that he was hurting too now, and that it was all my fault if we got into this fight. Meanwhile he is a self-admitted pervert (always talking about his kinks very early on in an objectifying way, and telling sex jokes and stories of him and his exes) and have such a creepy humour (joked of sequestration and of kidnapping me when we visited his studio). He never was physically violent or threatening yet, I saw him 3x in total, but I blocked him from everywhere, because of how manipulative and mentally abusive he was, and how nasty and twisted his porn filled brain was. He is such a good musician so I first was hesitant but as I told my close besties about it, and heard myself speak I hallucinated at how gross and terrible it was. You need to speak up to someone and hear yourself tell these horrors Out loud to not minimise or excuse them. And I have a great support system my friends are amazing!! This left me feeling disgusting and stupid at first, but at least Im safe. Then I forgave myself for I had an open heart, and should not be ashamed of being a genuine caring sensitive. I will be more cautious next time, this taught me a lot, and to never date again someone 20 years older. They build ego on their sexual experience and think they can silence or shame you if you're not into their creepy sexual fantasies. I prefer to preserve my innocence at all costs.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

Older men are well known for being controlling,in general. At least he is out of your life.

[@virescent1]

Thank God for your friend support. Never forget that experience it will serve you well.

[@rene3759]

Stay away from older men 10 years is already too much. The olderan is better trope is a Scaaaam and a trap! The power dynamic will be exceptionally off and they are in fact not necessarily more mature. Older guys who specifically go for younger women are always predators/predatory. Do not trust them!

[@StrawberryCakeStudiosYT]

I had a similar experience but this person was younger than me and had more sexual partners than me. Believe me. I was surprised when he said similar words. And he mentioned wanting someone younger and a virgin… Bruh, oh boy, you in it for the long haul girly if anyone ends up with him…. 🙃😅

[@assianeu197]

@@rene3759 Yes he was very predatory and each morning few weeks ago, I wake up with my mind clearer, and new red flags that my brain has unlocked. I was like in a daze of excitement at the idea of working with him, so I was trying not to judge him for his comments and accept him for being a weirdo genius. Now I realise it was like dating Kanye West but broke!! corn addict, full of nonsense and rhetorical, lonely depressed and fool of himself

[@BlackMaven528]

Another bit of advice for the ladies who live in the same state as the men they are leaving: if this applies, make sure you let security at your job know not to let your ex into the building. Give them his full name and supply a photo if you can. A friend's ex showed up where she worked one day, screaming at her about why she broke up with him. Thankfully nothing happened in that instance but we've all seen stories where people have walked into to buildings to unalive an ex and their co-workers

[@77kc_77]

Woah .. I don't tell these men anything luckily I work from home , but yes Stalking Laura ( Fav movie) describes so many of them and what they'll do when they lose control .. I choose the bear every time

[@Devopossum-se5jj]

This video may have helped me more than I may ever realize.

[@femmefatale71]

❤❤❤

[@venamoore98]

I absolutely agree with the video. I broke up with my ex over the phone. He was insecure and had narcissistic traits. Even though he'd never put his hand on me, I didn't want my breakup with him to cause him to start doing so. I never regretted the way I broke up with him. I'm still alive today because I didn't break up with him the way I was "supposed" to.

[@yahgirl1726]

I planned a lovely last day with my abusive boyfriend at the end of summer. The next day, I drove to my out of state university and broke up with him over the phone and changed my number. He was crazy and for sure would have tried to kill me as he had been abusive since high school.

[@sweetfr33]

When Drake said “nice for what?”, this is what he was referring to. These men rely on women being nice…..I broke up with my last ex by text. I don’t owe a disrespectful man ANYTHING.

[@saraho9568]

Yes, and don't discuss or argue about leaving. Pack your stuff when he isn't home and leave.

[@rohiniguiland4873]

When people break up they become unrecognizable.

[@blaqwabbit]

I broke up with my ex in person and he chased me in his car on the highway, all the while calling me back to back to back telling me to pull over and come back, tell me he wants his stuff back and argue.

[@77kc_77]

😮 I would have driven to the nearest police station

[@blaqwabbit]

@@77kc_77 I was so panicked and emotional i didn't even think to do that tbh. And I was unfamiliar with the area

[@77kc_77]

@@blaqwabbit pls be safe and get a plan in place

[@sagittariusque8932]

Just thinking about getting out of the car has me afraid even at the station because the whole point is "if I can't have you, nobody can". They'll risk their lives and whoever else's just to prove a point.

[@ladosis5596]

At this point break up in the police precinct in front of a FEMALE officer (because we know DV is highly prevalent among male law enforcement officers)

[@ShielaM-p1w]

Then one woman has been saved.

[@aBreathOfZoe]

Listen to this man. I have a permanent lifelong injury to my right shoulder and I am right handed because I tried to put it off (was probably scared to finalize it) but he pulled up to my house and force me to answer the question and proceeded to attack me when I got so frustrated that I just spit it out. And the only reason he even left was because I started screaming and he was on parole (I know I know, I used to be one of those “non-judgmental” types when I was young)

[@angelface333]

the first woman’s story made me cry… she really wouldn’t be here today if she hadn’t been so smart and proactive 🥺 and these men claim to love us…

[@77kc_77]

I went no contact with men its the safest thing do with how emotional men are with women moving on. Some of these men are so toxic and dangerous! Had to move and change my number due to two former friend guys stalking and harassing me- neither could take no for an answer- may have to contact law enforcement for one of them ! I'm so glad to be back home and not at my old apartment where one of the guys was stalking me at- realizing being single is better on multiple levels

[@ombreyarenee3826]

My dad told me this over 30 years ago. I never breakup in person.

[@77kc_77]

Same never ever

[@franciebelcher4594]

These ladies r absolutely correct! Though I would definitely add, that if u have a boy or man in your life to give them the same advice. It's not as common, but men do become the deleted in a breakup sometimes. I'm a Mortician, and had a gentleman (in his 60s!) that should've done the breakup in public. XGF had a pow-pow and took my client's life. It was so sad! Take care of yourselves ppl. True safety and peace is your responsibility, never give that up, not even for "love"❤

[@Liz-wz8dh]

This is sadly good advice. There are so many men who cannot take rejection. They have mental health and emotional issues that make them too volatile for relationships in the first place so they really cannot take it when relationships end either. It's sad that women even have to worry about this sort of thing.

[@kaitlynnbroke2321]

The day I left my abusive ex husband, I needed to move my things out plus the kids. I called my sister to be there. My luck was he used to lock himself in the living room cause he worked from home. I had the opportunity to pack my things and my sister then came and waited outside. When everyone and everything were outside , I came back in and I told him I was leaving. He said nothing, he didn’t open the door. I left I didn’t wait for him to come open the door or whatever. I didn’t need talking or any explanation. You don’t need to explain why you’re leaving or breaking up. You don’t need him to be sorry. You don’t need him to understand how he hurt you. JUST GO!

[@Daug555]

Say less. Quietly leave. Block all media. Change locks. Get cameras. Get a dog or 🔫 if necessary. Retraining order if necessary.

[@77kc_77]

I may have to get a restraining order on a toxic former friend never dated the guy , but he's unhinged and can't fathom I am gay

[@Casey9636]

Sadly, my neighbor did not have this advice. 😢

[@HHCF713]

No man is safe 😂 Unless you know a few trained military men and they are there with you when you leave a man and he knows their capabilities, then you aren’t safe.

[@michelleandreya7208]

Hmm, even military men can be become a menace. I used to move in military circles (due to several family members and also an ex). The number of instances I personally have knowledge of or heard about on the grapevine involving DV, stalking and attempted unaliving would horrify you. I advise girl friends and acquaintances not to get involved with military or law enforcement men. The potential for them to abuse their powers especially when the relationship ends is too high, in my opinion.

[@vegasvalor6591]

@@michelleandreya7208Agreed and I add Fighters to that list. No Police, Military or Boxers/UFC Fighters. They’re all potentially dangerous though.

[@strawberryfox8819]

​@@michelleandreya7208 To add, statistically law enforcement and military men also have one of the highest numbers of committing DV in the past.