Loss and Illness on the Spectrum: How am I coping?

[@julie_uk_]

Sending lots of ❤ for Benjamina x

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks friend

[@julie_uk_]

I'm going to put this out there... #PumpkinClub 😮

[@WoodshedTheory]

I love it - last year when attempting to grow pumpkins I started following KZbinrs who do giant pumpkin competitions 😂

[@whitneymason406]

Hey Claire, I'm so sorry I about your bun bun! Hang in there and take the time you need to process! Congrats on the pumpkin! They make me happy lol. 💞

[@WoodshedTheory]

They make me happy too! I check my garden a few times a day

[@katef9635]

Hi Claire, I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤ Take all the time you need to recover.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Kate you know I loved my babies

[@adampryor1289]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and illness! I have an 8 year old male bunny that I am very attached to and I will be an absolute wreck when his time comes. Glad to see you are in positive spirits despite the circumstances and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Hope things continue to improve for you!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Now I have left a six year old male

[@Jerri_Jo]

Coconut sugar and Laird vanilla coffee creamer! Love you Claire, hugs about your bunny.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Does coconut sugar have a coconut taste?

[@Jerri_Jo]

@@WoodshedTheory nope, to me it is just sweet and mellow

[@ptlovelight2971]

Morning to you Claire! Oh, im so sorry to hear about your bunny :*( pet loss is very hard for autistics i think, because in many ways they can be our only source of true friendship and understanding. Certainly was the case for me. I lost my beloved Cookie kitty over 10 years ago and I still think of her to this day. Animals are uncomplicated whereas humans require ALOT of complex thoughts and actions to make those relationships work As for coffee!😀 I prefer mime with either organic coconut cream or some raw heavy cream i get from a local farm here in GA (I cannot tolerate any pastuerized/homogenized dairy) But certain blends like Ethiopian coffee i can drink plain. Or a cafe Cubano-1 strong espresso shot with sugar mixed into a paste. Yum!

[@WoodshedTheory]

That sounds like delicious coffee

[@erynmorgan1717]

Sorry for your loss of your bunnies, it is so hard to lose our furry friends. You did nothing wrong, rabbits who are bonded for a long time often pass within a short time frame of each other - like old married couples. I love gardening and wool, crochet was my thing until my hands became too bad to do it...for now! Hope you have a better week and sending spoons and hugs.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Are you a Farscape fan? We are currently watching the series

[@erynmorgan1717]

@@WoodshedTheory I Love Farscape! Have watched it many times! Are you enjoying it?

[@chrismcwilliams3552]

Claire, I’m very sorry your bunny died. It’s so rough to loose a loved one. Do what you need to process this. 💖🙏🏼🐇💖

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for the support

[@madberry]

After you posted the short about Benjamina. I started thinking back because my brain love to “hide” stuff from me. And we had a bunny as well growing up. We, my sister and I, didn’t ask for a bunny my dad just brought one home from work one night cage and all. We only had that bunny a few months before it died. The people that ga e it away probably did so because it was sick. As a result my mind went we don’t need that in active memory let’s archive it away. But then you want h a video and it comes up. I actually just spoke to a DR my joint pain has been playing up and I wanted something to ease the pain some. I’m getting tramadol which is as high in the pain meds as I want to go. I spend most of the week in the garden taking pictures of insects flowers and other stuff as wel as weeding, watering, amending the soil and seeding. I would almost forget, because for me it’s just another day, but I had a birthday and turned 49 last week. So that’s a thing. I always feel like I should make it more of a thing, but personally I don’t really care I would just be doing that for others. And I want to stop doing that. You can always talk about the garden i for one will never get tired of it LOL. I have two vines that reseeded themselves I can’t tell what it is yet. I had melons, pickles and pumpkin growing last year so any of those 😂. I only drink coffee once a week because my stomach can’t handle more. When I do I take cream and sugar in my coffee. I make my coffee really strong and without it becomes a bitter cup of coffee that’s hard to drink. Have a good week Claire and friends.(would be a good band name btw)

[@WoodshedTheory]

I find it amazing how many memories that come up sometimes where I’m like - where the heck is that from??

[@crystalokeefe197]

She was a good bunny and shall not be forgotten.❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

She certainly will not

[@courtney9212]

So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing with us. I cant wait to look at your pumpkin too! I'd also like to see the garden and bunny area if you feel like giving us a tour sometime.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I can’t wait to share

[@vickimaroney800]

I'm so sorry to hear about your bun (((hugs))). Good that the meds are helping as when you feel well again it'll make a huge difference. Good news about the pumpkins too!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Vicki Im trying to stay on track

[@julie_uk_]

First here🎉 morning Claire

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hey hey heyyyy

[@curiouslittlefrog]

Lost my kitten this morning in my arms after a fight with FIP and was desperately scrolling KZbin while sobbing trying to find anything to ground me so thank you for sharing with me. ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m so so sorry for your loss

[@curiouslittlefrog]

@@WoodshedTheory and for yours too! 💔🐸 it is not our fault

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

❤❤

[@FirstmaninRome]

Ahhh, Monday, I'm walking through the spider webs here in Georgia, when I see Claire's video I know I'm almost ready to head home from work, take care of yourself girl infections baaaaad.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m feeling a lot better

[@lindaboiteux1758]

I'm very sorry you lost your bunny, Claire. Try not to feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. Benjamina knew that she was loved.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yeah I’m trying not to, it’s just she had been ill twice before and I had been able to get her through it

[@ghill8587]

Sorry again about Benjamina 😢. Pets are truly family. ❤. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better! Here’s hoping for a better week 🤞🏼

[@WoodshedTheory]

I am hopeful :)

[@basv]

My youngest brother (16) died 4 months ago, on Valentine's Day, following a car accident 3 days prior (he was a passenger in the back seat). I was 9yo when he was born and we were very close... It hurts to know that I wasn't able to protect him as his big brother. I still don't know how to cope, since I was already experiencing autistic burnout and depression before the accident happened.

[@nephistar]

I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm a youngest brother myself with a big brother I'm very close to and who makes me feel safe and protected and loved so often and so much. I'm sure he felt the same.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Bas I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you must be going through.

[@MissGroves]

*gentle hugs, so sorry to hear

[@nephistar]

Sorry about your loss! Reminded me of my hamster, he died in my hands, gasping. It was very moving. I hope you've fully recovered - from all of it, infection and loss. Lunch break in Central Europe after a halty start of the week, as often. I make my coffee with a moka pot and drink it with lots of milk. This morning in the first try, I boiled the water without putting coffee in the pot - stuff like that happens all the time. XD Recently, I got off of one of my medications. You can have irreversible damage if you take it for many years. I had it for about 2 so we tried getting off. A few days later, I called in sick at work. Just couldn't get up. So I'm back on.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Sorry to hear about the meds stuff I hope you are doing better!

[@nephistar]

@@WoodshedTheory I'm better, thank you! And, I mean, I'm happy to have the meds. You know how it is. Edit: And the damage risk, that's just a tiny chance.

[@passaggioalivello]

Hi Claire, I'm deeply sorry about your loss. If you need to talk about it, you can count me as a friend. About coffee, I don't drink it, I really don't like it. Also, there aren't coffee mugs here, just tiny little coffee cups, filled less than a half.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Ah yes espresso ☕️

[@originalvonster]

Hi Claire so sorry to hear about the loss of Benjamina.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you for the condolences

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

I'm thinking of you Clare and sending you much love from England. I do feel that losing a pet is particularly distressing for autistic people. You take care of yourself. Your bunnies were so so lucky to have such a loving pet parent as you, Clare. Better for an animal to have a shorter life in a loving home than a longer life in a home without love or attention or playmates (or even worse abuse) ❤❤❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

I did love those two

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

@WoodshedTheory Sending you love and prayers Claire and prayers for your bunnies too ❤️🙏

[@Civileyez]

Sorry for your loss and difficulties Ms. Claire. ☮

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks friend I hope you are well

[@Civileyez]

@@WoodshedTheory I am and thank you.☮

[@T.T.M.60]

I’m sorry again for your loss, pets are on a whole different level. I believe Tim and Bengimina are now together too❤️I’m glad you’re feeling better though from your infection. Hope this week gets better as the days go on. Your channel is a blessing to me and I’m sure many others. Thank you, Claire! ….ps, I mostly drink my coffee black but usually at restaurants, I put cream in it.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Oh we are similar in the effect. If the coffee is good no need for creamer

[@T.T.M.60]

@@WoodshedTheory exactly!

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@T.T.M.60 glad we agree

[@T.T.M.60]

@@WoodshedTheory me too, dear

[@marymakesmandalas6068]

Hi Claire, I look forward to porch coffee. Sorry about Benny. I drink coffee with creamer, sometimes sugar, sometimes no sugar. I’ve tried to go black twice, but it is just so disappointing. I feel the same about hot tea. Wish I could get excited about sipping a nice peach or mint tea with nothing in it, but no. I can’t. I’m excited about your pumpkin! I love that you chat about your life. Have a good week.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Mary I think it’s cool your do mandalas they look pretty relaxing/meditative to make

[@rachel.pondue]

Definitely more pumpkin updates, maybe even a garden tour? 😁 ❤ so sorry to hear about your little bunny, lots of love and healing ❤️‍🩹

[@WoodshedTheory]

I will see what I can do!

[@rachel.pondue]

@@WoodshedTheory no pressure at all ❤️ I’m an amateur gardener myself. Herbs no problem but growing veggies have been a whole other battle. It’s so interesting to hear about others gardening journey

[@Mazzy_moon]

I'm so sorry Clare! Losing a pet is so hard!!! Sending you lots of love!! Hope your infection gets better fast! I am growing pumpkins too this year !! Which is so exciting!! 🥳🎃❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

I am feeling better!

[@9crutnacker985]

❤😥🐇 Still had a lot dissociation this wk. Trying to limit my exposure to trauma related stuff as I think that's part of it. The hot weather isn't helping (+ the forgetting to drink). Good news for your pumpkins. Hope everything else improves for you soon.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Sorry you are struggling I get it

[@zinzimashibini2949]

Sorry to hear about Benjamina 💙😓. I always add creamer to my coffee and rotate the flavors. Usually french vanilla, hazelnut, and caramel. I also love the pumpkin spice creamer and lattes in the fall. My week was kind of hard as well. Transitioning my son back to a school he had difficulty with for next school year and hoping it goes better this time around. We also have been living in an area I don't like and that has a high cost of living. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that until we can move. Seems like so much hard stuff lately, but that's how it goes sometimes.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I feel the high cost of living thing

[@cecile-p]

I'm glad you feel better. Very sorry again for your loss, I wish good health to your whole family, humans and animals.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you Cecile - I like the sewing machine in your profile

[@cecile-p]

@@WoodshedTheory Thanks ! It's a present my brother gave me. I love sewing too !

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@cecile-p so cool

[@HarrietLeclair]

Rest in peace little Bun bun! I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I know animals enrich our lives and make their shorter lifespans so worth it!

[@WoodshedTheory]

They are the best

[@zoebowler5664]

How traumatic watching something you love pass away and not being able to do anything is horrible. I’ve spent a lot of time with kidney problems it’s soooo painful! Hugs ❤❤❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for relating to me - it was terrible to see her pass like that

[@zoebowler5664]

@@WoodshedTheory I held my dog as he passed away. It was so traumatic. I still struggle with seeing them but them not being there anymore…

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@zoebowler5664 I’m sorry you went through that

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

Hello Claire. And I am so sorry for the Loss of your rabbit.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you James

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

@@WoodshedTheory your very welcome Claire

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I only know how to make some letters and numbers through muscle memory. The moment that I think about it at all, I get trapped and can't figure out which way it's supposed to go. I only recently realized that I was masking my sequencing disorder. I don't think there's a lot of awareness for people who mask their dyslexia and the like. I sometimes think that we tend to bond more effectively with animals than other folks do.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m not sure if it’s a disorder but I struggle sometimes with mixing up letters or numbers, or I glance and read something wrong, in kindergarten I struggled with writing backwards

[@LightsandVessels]

Sending you a bug virtual hug. it took me a while to watch as it hurt to know what it's about. sorry for your loss. with love

[@WoodshedTheory]

I get it it’s really sad

[@MissGroves]

Glad to hear your insides are better, I've had kidney stones and the pain is no joke. Was sorry to hear about bunnykins too, I'm not allowed animals in my renting place so have none any more. Her loss must be so bad, *gentle hugs* you loved her much.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I did love her!

[@JeanneDeDesigns]

Sorry for your loss and feel better

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks I am feeling better

[@fideovilm8448]

I'm so sorry. I'm glad you all had each other though x

[@WoodshedTheory]

Me too

[@adventureswithkt]

Yay for the pumpkins making it!!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

We did it!

[@adventureswithkt]

@@WoodshedTheory yes we did!! Also super excited to hear about your Butterfly Pea Plant! I might need to get one!

[@KittyInTheGarden]

So sorry for your loss. Animals are so special. I know what you mean about the different kind of communication with them. I was so happy to hear about your pumpkins doing well :) I got an apple tree to plant this week and had to move my sweetpeas to make space. They're looking very sad and I feel guilty!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Ahh yea I don’t think they like to be transferred, hopefully they bounce back

[@KittyInTheGarden]

@@WoodshedTheory I'm hoping so, and planning to give them plenty of water. It felt like the right thing to give the apple tree the best chance with a good spot.

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@KittyInTheGarden I’ve learned you can’t be sentimental when developing your garden, you need to move things are to where they grow best

[@samanthamoon8051]

I’m sorry for your loss 😢 I’m still adjusting but it’s my first med in a couple of years. The last time I was I experienced a lot of emotional blunting and I don’t remember a lot from that time so it’s been really hard with that worry in the back of my head but I’m sticking to it and I have my little family looking out for me. I used to take my coffee with sugar and cream, I haven’t been able to have it for months because of my anxiety getting so bad and I miss it. I hope that once I’m stable on the meds I can have it again, I might try decaf actually because I miss it so much. I wish you luck with grief processing, it can be difficult for us especially.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I was thinking about you this week with your new meds we are together in this!

[@samanthamoon8051]

@@WoodshedTheory thank you that means so much ❤️ we can do this!

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I’m growing my channel, gaining engagement. I’ve figured out shorts get more views than long videos. I have one person engage on my more philosophical videos. You seem to be doing great, well your channel is.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Conner I think the key is being consistent and not giving up

[@Catlily5]

I am sorry that you lost your bunny. I never drank much coffee but now the doctor told me no caffeine. So I don't drink any coffee. When I did drink it, I was a coffee wuss so I put more milk than coffee in my cup.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I love drinking coffee and decaf stinks so even though I know it would be better if I had no caffeine I continue 😅

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I take my coffee "white" as the Europeans say (cream, no sugar. Although, now I use non-dairy whitener because of my lactose intolerance). I have been medicated for ADHD for about ten days and I'm totally finding that I'm getting more done around the house, without getting into that feverish work mode where I can't get myself to stop doing housework and run myself completely down. I think it's going okay so far with the meds. I did a mountain of laundry last week and found socks and t-shirts that I literally hadn't set eyes on since last summer. It's the strangest thing... I can get my kids' laundry done twice a week but my laundry sometimes sits around for months. Thanks for sharing what happened to Benjamina. My cat Cosmo (the feline love of my life) died at home with us, too, and that was the first time that had ever happened (usually, we would have to get them put down at the vet's recommendation). It was one of the saddest moments of my life, holding my lifeless cat in my arms and placing her in an old shoe box. 😢 But I'm glad she was near me when she passed.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I am so glad the new meds are working, it must be a relief

[@kellyschroeder7437]

So so sorry for your loss 😪🐶💞🐇🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 May you receive comfort from God. Hope you are feeling better 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞. ☕️ just a bit of 2% lactaid milk. Aiming to go black as able as cholesterol is problem 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞👊

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for sharing your coffee recipe ☕️

[@GummyBear1972]

I didn't realize you were sick in to of losing a pet. I've been sick for weeks too, since Memorial Day weekend. My husband and I went on a little vacation finally but came home and somehow got COVID-19 despite spending most of our time hiking alone outside. Life is just miserable right now. I am glad you're doing better though, physically and mentally.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m sorry you’re going through that hope you feel better soon

[@GummyBear1972]

@@WoodshedTheory Thank you!

[@dekidecay]

hiya Claire - i'm so sorry about Benjamina 😢 but glad you were there to comfort her as she passed 🖤I try and avoid coffee coz of my ADHD meds but when I do - I have with oat milk (though rose tea is my daily morning drink!) X

[@WoodshedTheory]

you are stronger than i to avoid caffeine

[@dekidecay]

@@WoodshedTheory 🤣🤣🤣

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@dekidecay indeed lol

[@ejcook4]

Hi Claire, I'm so very sad for you. Sorry you lost your bunny. Keep taking care of yourself. I feel the same way about animals. I think I can talk with them better than I can humans. Maybe Dr Dolittle was autistic! Anyway, please take care. I'm glad your medication is working well that's great news. I take an antidepressant to help manage my anxiety. It does help. I have been working a lot but made some more good progress on my PhD. I'm almost through the literature review chapter now. Hope to finish it this week and then move onto the discussion chapter, which I am quite scared about as it is the hardest. I can see light at the end of the tunnel but it still feels like lots of work to do. I have to keep going. Have a good week and be kind to yourself. ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m so proud of you for pursuing your phd

[@ejcook4]

@@WoodshedTheory I had to send someone my undergrad academic transcript on Monday and I'm amazed I got through. It's so obvious now looking back now much it was a struggle. I'm glad I persisted cause I ended up (albeit in a convoluted way) doing stuff I am passionate about. After my PhD, I'm going to raise awareness, through research and other work in higher education, of the need to support all students because in the crowd there will be undiagnosed neurodivergent people having a tough time like I did. And what works for us, works for everyone.

[@ejcook4]

P.s. I love pumpkin! Congratulations on being such a great pumpkin Mum. Xo

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks I just germinated my first one!

[@ejcook4]

@@WoodshedTheory wow!!! That's super cool! Congratulations!!! ✨

[@BCSchmerker]

+WoodshedTheory *I attach to pets and livestock at a reasonable pace.* Which infection did Benjamina in?

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m really not sure

[@mariuszwisla3230]

I feel for you. I still think about a cat I lost at about 10y.o., It's important not to forget I think. And I believe in reincarnation, as the only logically congruent system, so it helps me to believe, we might meet again, if not in this life, than the next, my only hope is that we will recognise each other. I think animals can see true spirit of a person, and autistic lack dishonesty, though some of us learn how to fake it, but it is still only faking., children are the same, before adolescence, like animals, trusting, sensing falseness, so they are not repelled by it, because there isn't any. But weak immune system is not the only possibility for autistic, I'm at the other end, never ill. Sorry, if it doesn't help you get any better, but I still believe, we value knowledge over compassion. we are, each of us different from the other, at either end of any and all human traits.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I’m glad you are never sick!

[@mariuszwisla3230]

@@WoodshedTheory Thank you. It's like with character creation in D&D. Except it's GM deciding where you add points, and if autistic, you can lower some attributes and add those points elsewhere, ending up amazing at something, and hopeless at something else. Though these days it's hard to play using character with 3 Charisma. and 3 Wisdom LOL Apples or oranges as english saying goes.

[@andreaharmon8931]

Oh I'm so sorry! Benny too? 😢

[@WoodshedTheory]

yeah it sucks so bad

[@Dayglodaydreams]

Do you do Autistic Pride day, why or why not?

[@WoodshedTheory]

Umm 🤔 I didn’t know there was one and I’m not sure how I feel about it, I will give it a think