WORST PICKUP LINES EVER (GUARANTEED TO WORK)

Facebook: / thedickeydinesshow
Instagram: / dickeydinesshow
DickeyDines Twitter: / dickeydinesshow
Jared Dines: / th3ycharg3
Austin Dickey: / dickeyfighter7861
Jared's Twitter: / jareddines
Austin's Twitter: / dickeyaoe
Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

[@Cptjackjacky]

Holy shit, Tony's laugh is even more hilarious than Jared's. I've never seen a man so utterly decimated by a joke.

[@fadhil2446]

Brad Lawrence that's how funny Austin's jokes are

[@sidthejovian5105]

RIP Tony

[@borbleborb4586]

ton’ys

[@EdEddnEddyMercury]

😂Austin should be a legit comedian😂

[@dustid]

he is . . not standup thoooo

[@julianawesome2258]

Man holy shit Im crying

[@flachzange1614]

Hoana means family!

[@gooseman2376]

dude Austin is such a charismatic dude, wish i could find friends like that lol

[@eatsmylifeYT]

@@dustid Yep, because they're always sitting down.

[@elizae256]

"Get in the van" works every time

[@CaseyB8783]

"NO YOU GET IN THE VAN" I know this comment is old but fuck it

[@A-man1998]

Do you NEED a van for this to work??

[@marioi.carrillo6264]

"Hey uhh, can you tell me how this tissue smells?" "Oh yeah son sure"

[@nate6526]

Austin should seriously consider being a professional comedian

[@fadedanxiety7589]

Dickey was on fire on this video, fucking hell I'm crying right now

[@VoiceKulaka]

omg, Dickey is a comedy machine!xD

[@66Samus]

0:57 the jabba giggle

[@idk-zy9ig]

Ayy

[@DeeZeeGuitar]

oh yuuuuuuuur

[@RichardLopez-wb9vf]

yo its mah boy

[@sladedawilliamss7683]

Sex

[@wolvenqveen]

Tony's laugh gives me life tbh

[@larry8030]

This show can be summed up like this Dickey speaking...everyone laughing their asses off

[@veronicadavanzo2064]

I love Austin so much!

[@Geraet]

seriously Austin should be a stand up comedian

[@SolaireOfAstora.]

I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

[@maxscardanelli6185]

Thanks to you I've now spilt/spat my coffee everywhere. 😂😂👌🏻👌🏻

[@erictankeastburn6291]

HAHAHAHA

[@WillMaskellTaylor]

im no weather man, but you can expect wetness tonight

[@erictankeastburn6291]

+Will Taylor haha

[@danteteeter6567]

Yeah, but only a few...

[@Meescha]

Everybody needs a Dickey in their life

[@FooManPu2]

Going back and watching these old episodes, its great to see how Austin has gotten healthier. Not that he looks bad here, but there's a marked difference. it's inspiring.

[@wishmenot1813]

Exactly

[@awesome10pickles32]

Best moment in DickeyDines history at 7:44

[@chronicreptile]

It is the funniest moment, I come back to this often!

[@metalxmamaxmakes4173]

We all need a friend like Austin. Haven't cried laughing like that in a while!!!

[@guhuhhuh1684]

I feel bad for Jared sometimes because he tries saying something funny multiple times but no one ever laughs

[@jerrykelley1256]

It looks like he can't stand dickey constantly talking and trying to be funny. He definitely looks annoyed

[@guhuhhuh1684]

+Jerry Kelley I think he feels a little displaced because he enjoys Dickey it seems and he likes the roll of jokes and he wants to jump in but he fails when ever he tries.

[@montychristo86]

Why should I go to Jared when I'm already a big Dickey, I guess?

[@ethan043]

Pretty sure Jared is in a bad mood from trying to quit smoking.

[@Dickey7861]

This was also filmed pretty late at night and this is mid us moving so if he seemed not super happy it's probably because of that, he was saying jokes throughout too I think he was still enjoying himself.

[@Xavocolypse]

I have never seen Jared and Tony laugh harder ever

[@turnleftaticeland]

i think there was a moment in their 5 second rule video where jared just fucking lost it

[@bbqdipmcnuggets]

everytime i’m sad, i’ll just go back to this video and watch 7:45 all over again 😂

[@jazzetienne2285]

10/10, you guys are dorks. Don't stop though, this stuff is golden.

[@Poomanchu357]

jesus, you're in every video, you are my new friend, congrats, no turning back now

[@jazzetienne2285]

+_HERO_GUITAR _ What? I'm confused.

[@jazzetienne2285]

+_HERO_GUITAR _ What'd I do now?

[@Poomanchu357]

just relax, take in the scenery

[@jazzetienne2285]

+_HERO_GUITAR _ wut

[@isaacplowman5132]

Mine had 38 likes and it wasn't shown. I'll see you in court

[@TheHamster120]

What was it?

[@isaacplowman5132]

"Roses are red, violets are blue, we're having sex tonight, cos' I'm stronger than you."

[@isaacplowman5132]

william Brooker

[@TheHamster120]

+Isaac Plowman lol that was shit

[@isaacplowman5132]

william Brooker shhhh, it helps me sleep at night knowing 38 other facebook-ers liked it. Don't ruin this for me

[@4malulz104]

Do you have any Native American in you? Would you like some?!? (People used to ask my mother how much Native American she had in her... She would actually say, "A couple inches every now and then...")

[@SlitexGaming]

Jared looks so pissed in this video lol

[@Minifigcreator97]

From 7:50 to 9 I was just crying the whole time. Holy shit. 😂😂😂

[@YourMom-dj4im]

You guys should take the best pick up lines from this video and go to public places and see if they work on girls.

[@xechufriend]

Bring this man a cold beer, he deserves it, and after it do what he said plzzz

[@joshwhitty7024]

7:45-9:52. The best clip in dickeydines history

[@SavyBreci]

Jared seems absent lol

[@a7xkid100]

He's probably on edge from not smoking cigarettes for a couple of days

[@carlosbell1132]

+Andrew Kyle probably, quit Smoking is hard

[@a7xkid100]

+The Defenestrator yeah, I've tried but can't quite stop.

[@carlosbell1132]

+Andrew Kyle I quit in December last year, vaping helped me but I can understand people who don't want it. I smoked 2 cigarettes since then

[@jakebaker1051]

Savy Breci loops

[@sleepy_gab]

I swear Tony's laugh could revive the dead

[@charliejamz.]

Austin was on a roll this episode!😂😂

[@AchromaticChameleon]

You guys have some of the BEST laughs I've ever had the pleasure of hearing. Half the time it's just as funny as the shit you put out on this channel.

[@AgainstTheeWickedlyMusic]

Can we just appreciate Tony's laughing in this? 😂

[@tinae4530]

I know this is old, but this is the video I’ve laughed the hardest of. Austin’s jokes in this one destroyed me😂😂

[@geennaam1201]

i like my girls like james bond likes his martini's shaven not stirred i'm not allowed near schools :(

[@jestle]

Natuurlijk niet haha, gekkie. (For English people, 'Of course not, haha, crazy.')

[@DRKLGHT777]

geen naam wtf lol ....

[@denonimophantom]

Tony's laugh is golden

[@Karrett88]

I like my women like I like my whiskey 12 years old and mixed up with coke. This is just a joke I do not condone the practice of mixing cocain and coke...

[@spicybean2004]

Oh👀

[@JustButtahOfficial]

But uggghhh... what about... the 12 year olds.

[@thexskating]

LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂

[@franceshelton5809]

Austin is the funniest man alive

[@Dickey7861]

Ayyyye thank you so much :)

[@franceshelton5809]

+Dickeyfighter7861 No problem, man. You pretty much killed me when you mentioned the caveman Spongebob meme. XD

[@Bubbanator228]

The one by Steven Allen had me laugh so hard I almost choked on my soda

[@Ferretclaw444]

Now make a video where you go and try these out at a bar THUMBS UP SO THEY SEE THIS

[@LordB0NER]

i would have thumbed it up if you didnt ask for thumbs up.

[@katiewalker554]

SHRECKED

[@fuckyourfandom3418]

upside down thicc is a big chest

[@kaelanmcalpine2011]

I can only imaging if a girl used that on my best friend. My best friend is a lesbian with D cups.

[@bord2606]

Is there a mirror in your pocket. Cause I can see myself in your pants

[@Tysoreny]

I was hoping they were gonna try them on Austin

[@aaronday793]

0:56 kills me everytime! lol 😂

[@mrm1dn1ght53]

austin comes up with the best jokes

[@weburn7291]

Dickey is MVP of this video

[@izzyggzz2611]

I thought Tony was going to pass out there for a minute 😂

[@jamesgalloway247]

7:45 is the best moment in the whole thing

[@LordKishi]

That moment when you get that notification in the middle of the video

[@SacredReach0]

Ikr

[@powerlinearcade8527]

Same wtf even are the damn notifications

[@Kekistani_Insurgent]

7:44 is one of the best things ever captured on film

[@morganhopkins8879]

Lost my shit at 8:00 😂😂😂😂😂😂 never laughed so hard 😂😂😂😂

[@melissah9572]

"are you from austrailia? cause you meet all of my koala-fications" I know i know, its 5 years late and im drunk FU

[@mrobsolete530x4]

Austin makes me laugh hysterically every time

[@raskullsshako]

“Wanna listen to Bathory and eat ice cream?”

[@Emil_Stoltz]

You're goddamn right I do!

[@theradgoose3600]

At 7:45 till 9:46 I was laughing so hard I started gagging and wheezing

[@ciangartland3103]

Tony's laugh is funnier than any of the pickup lines 😂

[@xvldark1567]

Dickey should be a comedian man, that guy improvise jokes out of thin air 😂

[@johnkren2636]

I instantly thought of llamas with hats when Austin did the impression of the necrophile's mom 😂

[@maxscardanelli6185]

TheDickeyDinesShow, the reason as to why there's so many coffee stains on my bed. 😂😂👌🏻👌🏻But seriously, great job guys, Dickey was on top form in this video. Had me in stitches. Jared looked a little pissed though, cheer up Jared dude.

[@wazzap500]

You sure it's coffee...

[@maxscardanelli6185]

UrbanDanger ! Yes I'm sure. 😂😂👌🏻👌🏻

[@expectedlime_8076]

Austin is the funniest thing ever

[@Beatdownkioskman]

it was tony's laugh at 9:17 that set me off XD

[@nikolasimonovski427]

Tony is just dying in this video

[@charlieisamonster]

This is the funniest thing I've seen on youtube for ages.

[@mthwnicodemus]

This is the best video on your entire page homie

[@BigTuna521]

Dickey is just too fucking hilarious. Humor level: expert.

[@harrigozephyr4532]

I love the " NO no no....not the dead bodys voice"

[@savagesalmon1889]

I am convinced this is the funniest show on the internet

[@ricardomendoza-oy8mp]

Austin is a fucking master of riffing oooo my goooood I am laughing so hard right now.

[@karterproduces9547]

Seriously Austin should do fucking stand up. I laughed the whole fucking video!

[@burningroutes]

Tony is adorable. Tony, please marry me.

[@kimkinney425]

"If you were fruit, you'd be a fine apple" - Nic D

[@Silencex84]

Im not gonna lie, this is like the FUNNIEST youtube comment reading episode I have ever read in my entire life. I shit you not I was in tears laughing out to this XD

[@idrownedinapuddle]

Dickey is literally an ancient greek god

[@chantalc5246]

Austin's fire in this one. hahah sooo funny

[@jai.w.9469]

Tony's laugh gives me life 😂😂

[@noahmiller6193]

The pickup line at 7:43 is so great, I just might have to try it some time.

[@blahblahsen1142]

i had a friend who was drunk at a party and approached a girl with "Nice shoes...yonna fuck?" and it worked. it should not have worked. that slick bastard could score with anything. RIP bro. you were respected.

[@ellisaudio9727]

Wake up to a new DickyDinesShow episode before work? Hell yes!!!

[@xMRxZEROx]

The confusion over the feed bag joke hurt my face. Horses guys. Look it up.

[@cjbulch6773]

9:16 everyone just dies

[@samaelherself4286]

Please, animate this. Now. Pretty please.

[@MattMeidenbauer]

please do another of these eventually, solid gold

[@ivelity]

8 minutes: that delievery tho!!!

[@callmebee2302]

i have to stop watching this shit in summer school. It is so hard not to laugh my ass off, but i just cant stop the videos.

[@bbqdipmcnuggets]

there was never a youtuber that made me laugh so damn hard until i found these guys. you guys are seriously what keeps me going this pandemic lmao 😂

[@dantejones9832]

I think they broke Tony in this episode.

[@PeterPlazowki_emperorsofrandom]

tony's laugh is fucking magical

[@jaysonbateman3811]

Austin is the funniest fucking man alive😂😂😂😂

[@FreestyleCarp6gaming]

If it wasn't for Austin this show would be shit 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@zinnydin2345]

Dickey needs to have his own meme.

[@EyesofDeceitOfficial]

Steven Allen, you broke all 3 guys out there and me too XD Can't stop laughing XDD

[@charlottekent6689]

I watch this video almost daily because it makes me die with laughter every time purely cuz o dis dick, cry every time :L :L :L

[@Josh-ft2vp]

This is my first time watching it. My insides hurt from laughing at that part so hard haha.

[@Dave_TheMetalJester]

Austin fucking rocks

[@JFrohlichMusic]

More people need this video in they're life.

[@henryjones3207]

It's weird, I have an identical sense of humor as jared, we laugh at exactly the same time

[@vin_fm2354]

really cant believe that 2016 was two yrs ago

[@kishredbird3599]

Dickey is by far the funiest human I have ever heard of

[@jamesl2702]

0:58 I need a compilation of those 😂

[@fortztherapper6767]

Austin is fucking perfect for stand up comedy! let's make it happen.

[@shamkey9632]

Between 7:44 and 9:51 I was laughing so hard my lungs hurt

[@danielbaehr6230]

subtle SUNRISE SKATER KIDS plug haha

[@keaganweaver8723]

TONY! I am so excited!!!

[@bmtthga5858]

Dicky is why this is funny