The Calamari Wrestler | Wrestling With Wregret

Wrestling squids, octopi and squilla, oh my! This may not be the WORST movie Brian Zane's ever seen ... but it darn sure is one of the weirdest! It's time to take a look at a Japanese import from 2004 known as THE CALAMARI WRESTLER!
BIG HOSS MCGRAW, "GAAAAAHHHHH", D*CK KICK CITY & MORE!
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[@ABomb_Plays]

Can't wait for the US remake, Sycho Squid

[@FEARSWTOR]

I thought that was the third one. The first remake was going to be "Squid Vicious" followed by "Squid Justice". Tho all three are basically the same thing with slightly different box art.

[@Ecl1p5e-MM8BDM]

@@FEARSWTOR Squid Vicious : Break a Leg!

[@CRob172]

He has half the legs that you do!

[@johnthesportsarchivist2600]

And his tag team partner 1-2-3 Squid.

[@plcthelegacy4131]

The tag line; He has 4 times the legs you have and has 1/8th the brain that you do!!!

[@187alan]

Shark boy is pissed that he didn't get a role.

[@casualcyberguy1314]

We would have been finomenal

[@187alan]

@@casualcyberguy1314 And that's the fishin line.

[@jasoncoward-aintscared]

Obviously Sharkboy was too immature. Once he graduates from his school of fish and becomes a Sharkman, then he'll get the call.

[@MentalLiberation]

Hilarious

[@187alan]

@@MentalLiberation it may be hilarious to you dude but poor old shark boy was devestated. Lol.

[@GoingOffTopical]

Big show has Andre the giant, but The Calamari wrestler is descended from the legendary octodad

[@ScoobaMusic]

Going Off Topic to be honest I completely forgot about Octodad

[@Matt1yu]

Nobody suspects a thing! 🎶

[@jdbruiser]

And if the calamari has a child you could call him the Calamari Kid.

[@monsieurdubitatif8567]

Octomom, remember her ?

[@EDH10]

Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, will ever be worse than Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy.

[@EDH10]

Ian Thompson not even The Chaperone

[@logd27]

EDH this is pretty bad..... almost unwatchable

[@JohnWilliams-wl9px]

EDH RVD’s Extreme Wrestle Comedy is worst

[@Supervillain725]

I LIKED Chaperone (can't believe I just admitted that).

[@timbartschwolfman]

What about Ready to Rumble

[@alexbroadbent5313]

Brian in Japanese cinema a 6 foot tall squid walking down the street is a Tuesday.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

or a real tuesday in some parts of tokyo.

[@ArchmageOfAnarchy]

Yeah last time I was in Kyoto I bumped into the Kraken, standard shit.

[@technounionrepresentative4274]

For you, the day calamari graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for him, it was Tuesday.

[@donkeygat93]

Lmao “that fake, that was an open hand slap...” love that clip 😂😂

[@enigmaskull3495]

13:15

[@jrightly]

"I don't even have any squid friends" story of my life summed up in one brilliant line.

[@seanswade8699]

I'm not squidist. I have a squid friend

[@evilubuntu9001]

@@seanswade8699 I wish I had squid friends, we could have a party, and when they're not looking, I throw one on the grill and cook them with lemon juice and pepper, wtf is this video about? 😯

[@Venemofthe888]

I had inkling people would make these jokes

[@jrightly]

but do we deserve such punishment?

[@seanswade8699]

@@evilubuntu9001 (other squids look around) "dafuq happened to Larry?"

[@wstine79]

"Let's welcome the Calamari Wrestler to the Firefly Funhouse."

[@Sammy4549]

YOWIE WOWIE!

[@Thisfaquinchanel]

Vince prefers the name Calamari sports entertainer

[@comixproviderftw_02]

4:10 all you have to do...

[@Supervillain725]

Please no, kid's show Bray is scary enough.

[@bubbajoshproductions3990]

Let him in

[@RC99_Productions]

In the future, please PLEASE review Jushin Liger: Fist Of Thunder. Imagine Liger wrestling his main enemy in a match, then as it progresses, the two start glowing and the movie turns into some weird Power Rangers fight scene.

[@coreylineberry8557]

That sounds awesome.

[@mikepagebrand]

Wouldn't a "Reverse inverted full nelson" just be a full nelson?

[@gabepollock1641]

BurningEagle Yep. I know from watching a few Luke Gallows singles matches what an inverted full Nelson looks like. If you reverse that, it’s just a regular full nelson.

[@Aevilbeast]

Not really. Even though the words reverse and inverted are sometimes used interchangeably in wrestling, technically they still have different meanings. Reverse could mean that the move is being performed on the other side, while inverted could mean that it's being performed while one of the wrestlers was upside-down or vice-versa depending how the move is usually performed. Now, in the context of the movie and that particular move. It kinda could work...well, sorta LOL. Picture this, one guy looks like he's about to give his opponent a reverse piledriver but when he lifts him and he's fully upside down with his feet in the air, instead of finishing the move he would then put his opponent in a reverse full nelson. . Yeah, it'd be a pretty odd-looking move but and not something I think any wrestler would actually use, but it could be pulled off. Something weirder a "reversed reverse full-nelson" still wouldn't be just a regular full-nelson. It'd just be one guy reversing his opponents reversed full-nelson, if that makes any sense lol.

[@venomousnate7263]

You doing the “GAAAAAAH” while going Super Saiyan is hilarious

[@saxonjf]

I love that you added "BOOP!" for no reason.

[@paulcoy9060]

"Submissions don't faze invertebrates." Never have I imagined a more surreal sentence.

[@otakonlover10]

"japanese people sure like to laugh when they get beat up"lol every anime

[@dylanstakely]

I feel like this could be turned into a Power Rangers episode, or a storyline for DDT Pro 😂

[@ChattGM]

The Squilla Boxer certainly had the voice of a PR villain LOL

[@crascet]

Or something from CHIKARA

[@jacksonsummers506]

He would have to win the heavy metal weight title for it to be in DDT

[@MasterOfViewership]

Power Rangers for sure. Especially if it was the samurai since the gold ranger was a traveling fisherman

[@cjthehaasman9954]

This seems Exactly like the kind of Storyline that HUSTLE would've done

[@TheDavidVAs]

Mike Haggar was right: Arm Locks really don't work on squid creatures.

[@speedwaynutt]

triple h never fails to make me smile even if it means he is giving zane some junk to watch

[@wstine79]

He'd probably take HHH over Shane McMahon.

[@Fujisaur]

It is pretty great "eh

[@digitalphantom05]

boop

[@patrickallen6193]

what? Triple H's *The Chaperone* ????

[@wstine79]

Calamari wrestler has just been signed to AEW.

[@notarmani2347]

wstine79 I hope this is joke..

[@casualcyberguy1314]

CALAMARI IS ALL ELITE

[@danmount9462]

And they'd call him the greatest thing ever even if he did a match with Joey Ryan and Orange Cassidy.

[@Dr170]

Even an invertebrate cephalopod has more tone and definition than Jelly Janela.

[@royshaheer]

Michael Nakazawa vs Calimari Wrestler....Book it Khan or Book it Bucks

[@CRob172]

Pretty sure this squid was just recently Ironmanheavymetalweight champ in DDT

[@caeert2962]

*looks at video title and thumbnail* Wasn't expecting to watch a video like this today, but here I am....

[@ItsTheFizz]

"I sure hope that's his tentacle..." Zane's never seen hentai, has he?

[@FunkyGOB]

Tentacle hentai 😍

[@Supervillain725]

I've seen too much tentacle porn because my mind immediately went there when she met Squid Man.

[@Supervillain725]

He's said before that he's NOT into anime.

[@weirds0up]

It's a Japanese film, there's a tentacled creature alone with a young girl. You really need a warning about what was coming Zane?

[@PurddyBirddy]

NO HES TOO PURE HE CANT BE SHOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT

[@monkeyman5866]

What do the calamari wrestler and RVD have in common? They both enjoy being FRIED I’ll show myself the door

[@venomousnate7263]

Monkeyman58 nah that was actually pretty good. I’ll give you that

[@monkeyman5866]

Venomous Nate Thank you

[@BrandanTheBroker]

😂

[@joshhale9355]

Still better than RVD’s comedy show

[@Supervillain725]

@@joshhale9355 I hurt my back at work, and that was better than RVD's comedy show.

[@NostalgiNorden]

No matter how you look at it - It's a squid!

[@enigmaskull3495]

Maybe we’ll see a crossover between *The Calamari Wrestler* and *Russell Madness.* A wrestling squid versus a wrestling dog (and maybe we can add one of Black Bart’s bears from SuperBrawl).

[@MrMcKane]

A wrestling squid. You could make a video game out of that premise. Call it a sequel to Octodad.

[@Hilian95]

That sex scene, Christ i'm laughing so hard right now.

[@BrandanTheBroker]

Dave Meltzer, how do you rate this movie? DAVE: 8.75 STARS!

[@johannesmakila2459]

I sense salty WWE fans.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

@@johannesmakila2459 WWE sucks, but meltzer is a japan fanboy.

[@nathanielduncan4692]

He is.

[@westnile21]

Thomas Jenkins - Nah Meltzer just likes good pro wrestling with great storytelling rather than the lame Rusev/Lana/Lashley love triangle storyline or the crappy Corbin/Reigns dog food angle.

[@kathartik]

9:00 - I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.... yep. it did.

[@SuperNitroZ64]

Ah, a fellow man of culture.

[@the1flym459]

Senzon is basically Gedo, attaching himself to whatever's hot in his own promotion

[@Supervillain725]

Kind of like 3H in the 90s.

[@princesstamika]

the flaw in this comparison is that when Gedo first attached himself to Okada everyone was super skeptical of Okada. Everyone thought Okada was a hair-brained scheme and a dud..it didn't take a long time but people had to warm up to him --listen to the crowd when he returns and confronts Tanahashi. Also, at that point in time Okada REALLY needed someone to do the talking for him.

[@the1flym459]

@@princesstamika I'm just saying that it's weird that the booker makes himself the manager of someone he's about to book to win the title. Besides, I think people were probably pretty skeptical about a wrestling squid

[@vo1827]

The Calamari Wrestler would fit perfectly in Kinnikuman.

[@biggusdickus2427]

Huh I'm surprised thats not happened...yet

[@SimpleCrisis]

What’s the Octopus Sports Entertainer doing in the impact zone

[@johannesmakila2459]

I sense salty WWE fan.

[@SimpleCrisis]

Johannes Mäkilä in what way 😂 I’m just here having a bit of comment fun

[@rikiishitoru8885]

@@johannesmakila2459 "I sEnSe SaLtY WWE fAnS"

[@LukeLeonettiYouTube]

SimpleCrisis it’s the Octopus Experience! Here on Raw!

[@SimpleCrisis]

Coolbean94vevo oh dang

[@chubbycatfish4573]

IMGP? Reminds me of all the WcDonalds restaurants in Japan.

[@ArchmageOfAnarchy]

I believe you mean MgRonalds

[@RC99_Productions]

IMGP......umm...... International McDonald's Grand Prix?

[@WanArk86]

@@RC99_Productions M is probably stands for 'Mini'

[@Supervillain725]

Don't you mean WacArnold's?

[@CobaltCruiser]

@@Supervillain725 well played

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

18:36 Brian calls it a mindfuck, McMahon calls it genius.

[@erikmuniz3802]

This was your funniest video holy shit I pray there is a sequel for you to review

[@TheBrotherGrim]

Not a sequel exactly, but the writer/director of this also made Kabuto-O Beetle, a movie based on a character from Osaka Pro Wrestling, and a movie called Kaiju Mono that looks like it might be about giant pro wrestlers. He's got some pretty insane, goofy movies out there, and seems to love him sone wrasslin'. The only other movie of his I've seen personally though was Executive Koala, which is about a Koala man salary worker who may or may not have murdered his human girlfriend. It is pure madness.

[@docdynamite2673]

Brian went Super Saiyan and unveiled his new attack SUPER GAAAAAAHHHHH BEEEEAAAAM!

[@Xehanort10]

"You see Triple H. You're not dealing with the average wrestling reviewer anymore."

[@jordanscott5719]

This easily could of turned into a hentai

[@Sonofgoku1]

Jordan Scott it wasn’t!?

[@nicolassmith7241]

9:14

[@willtheangrydudeist9120]

Its like Ed Wood was reincarnated and is in Japan... And it's *glorious* !!!!

[@TheBrotherGrim]

The same director has a movie called Executive Koala about a Koala man office worker who may or may not have murdered his human girlfriend, and the insanity surrounding it. Japanese Ed Wood is actually a pretty good comparison, at least as far as the insanity in their body of work is involved.

[@mcj88]

Of course, since this is about a wrestling squid that everyone just treats like he's a normal dude, this movie also predicted Octodad's run in VGCW.

[@johnathancopson9328]

When I woke up today, I didn't think I was gonna watch Brian Zane review a movie involving a Wrestling calamari and interspecies sex, but Quarantine does that to you.

[@DaveC74]

Brian your Jimmy Hart is great

[@JackSledgeIV]

Well at least the woman was hot, but let's be fair here all Asian women are hot.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

don't say things you can't take back. i've seen some very ugly asian women.

[@Forcefield23]

"He lived with them, he trained them, he turned them into cephlapods, he made them wash his back"

[@miguelzarate5642]

That ending with the two humans celebrating with their new squid baby 😵 😂😂😂 japan is something else

[@neroameealucard945]

Calamari Wrestler... so is there a Sushi MMA fighter?

[@Lightspeeds]

No but there needs to be.

[@misfitwaylon6936]

There is a sushi fighter in MMA, kind of. Search “sushi dude vs” and it’ll come up.

[@Arathor82]

So it's basically "The Shape of Water." But with Russo as the writer.

[@SuperChampionRocker]

This has got to be your funniest video ever.

[@WrestlingWithWregret]

Thank you for the kind words!

[@normang3668]

Second funniest. Dungeon of Doom still takes the cake for me.

[@Dr170]

Thank goodness this is the most depraved thing involving tentacles to come out of Japan.

[@thepassingstatic6268]

I see what you did there

[@merddln333]

"H, out...BOOP" Me: This is gonna be a good one. Grabs vape pen

[@theneonchimpchannel9095]

AEW will probably book that squid.

[@Ranuyasha]

Vs Kenny Omega

[@facepalmedgodzilla7999]

@@Ranuyasha 7 stars by Meltzer

[@dustinmichel7608]

Still would be better than the Undertaker vs Goldberg match.

[@johannesmakila2459]

I sense salty WWE fans.

[@TankHardcheese]

I watched this movie for the first time with some friends who aren't even wrestling fans and we just couldn't stop laughing at all of the absurdity. God bless this movie and Japan.

[@Boy123Jim]

I found out what that ringtone is lol. I can't believe that I forgot about the Flea Market rap lol.

[@mememe131199]

Calamari wrestle is belong in kaiju big battle!!!

[@SeelkadoomandJokic00]

Agreed. He may be the inspiration.

[@GoingOffTopical]

Boy I'll get those squid rings even if it kills me

[@neellabar7160]

The heel squid looks like the ball-spitting enemies from Super Mario Bro’s 2

[@philipcohen7192]

Zane I swear they used that same effect for Thor’s hammer in “The Incredible Hulk Returns.”

[@wwetnabamafan194]

Nice pop from Fatu, you should see him more often. He's the reigning MLW World Champion as part of Contra Unit.

[@jacoblikesnxt]

I had to watch that final scene again to believe what my brain registered! My god!

[@p.d.l7023]

If there was a sequel: Puts on a mask and becomes 'The Big Squid Kid'!

[@logd27]

Still love that your ringtone is Flea Market Montgomery

[@plcthelegacy4131]

If I can quote John Oliver, "Japan; Earth's perverted uncle..."

[@thomasferraro479]

Dr. D it was an open hand slap, I'm dying

[@thekidfromiowa]

Loved that gag. Had to rewind.

[@Kaltagstar96]

This is Chris Brookes' favourite Wrestling with Wregret video. Also, what is it with the 'heroes' in these type of wrestling movies refusing to do the job. Like, seriously, The Squid is just a mark for himself not wanting the babyface to go over.

[@jordank5328]

Jacob Fatu with contra unit is one of my favorite things in wrestling right now, really getting into MLW lately

[@joshhale9355]

I don’t know why, but that whack to the squid at 3:52 had my dying

[@padreblack]

I've got to join Patreon and nominate Zane and Kaleb put Over the World.

[@mgunter]

16:52, The power of Orton compels you.

[@mesousagaby740]

If only Unknown Hinson voiced the squid...

[@djcook3991]

So a mysterious man is responsible for the reincarnation of an old wrestler into a new weird version that is somehow both accepted and popular? This is just japanese PCO!

[@1walter2808]

Jacob Fatu seriously deserves a break in a big promotion! AEW...WWE...NJPW... just watch this guy he is awesome!

[@IAMAQUARIES]

This movie is 100x better than any film WWE has produced

[@grimbelfix2648]

The ringtone gets me every time

[@mcj88]

5:25 - Nobody better embodies utter chaos than that squid? Huh, this movie predicted the Splatocalypse.

[@theyluvsaturn]

Can someone tell me what's the name of Brian Zane's ringtone?

[@TheGenomario]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHuWoHumqtVgps0

[@theyluvsaturn]

@@TheGenomario thanks

[@TheGenomario]

@@theyluvsaturn No problem

[@lessankey5287]

I do not watch wrestling anymore since it has become terrible but I came across your videos during a KZbin rabbit hole and you are super funny and your videos are great, keep up the good work!

[@brandonleague3641]

The baby is a squid! (This absolutely kills me.)

[@joshuaortega1852]

The squila is my favorite character just for that reporter punch.

[@sfarrer48]

Vacant made a cameo saying “squid training montage” nice!

[@nichhodge8503]

Yeah I was thinking about getting a squid 🦑 lover too until I realised she was gonna bring no financial support to the relationship as she couldn’t get a job. She was offered a job at a sushi restaurant but turned it down when she found out they only wanted her on the menu

[@TheGumby67]

You should do My Dad is a Heel Wrestler! The one with Tanahashi!

[@DiarraHarris]

I'm not shocked that something like this exists. I'm just disappointed that this was never animated!

[@darkheart665]

No one: Japan: here's a wrestling squid

[@LukeLeonettiYouTube]

This movie is so amazing I was dying when Godozan announced him being the father

[@christophermichael2196]

The dvd case says “A cross between The Muppets and Godzilla” what a combo😂

[@LGBTPlayingGames]

Great review video! A suggestion, and then a nitpick. First the suggestion: for a future review, perhaps the Hiroshi Tanahashi movie "My Dad is a Heel Wrestler" if a subtitled version exists? Definitely much more serious and grounded than this one. Then the nitpick, a very nitpicky nitpick: in the part of the video where you exaggeratedly wiped the tear from your eye, I learned in health class that you're supposed to actually wipe *inward* because that's the natural direction that the tear ducts flow to remove particulates, so as not to result in permanent eye irritation. :) (The More You Know~~~)

[@DrRobby1985]

That final shot... wow... now I know how Inklings were made. 0_0 XD

[@mrdethbuzzard4885]

ROH had a wrestler named Squid who wrestled Silas Young twice during Silas' feud with Jonathan "The Octopus"Gresham

[@PancakesAndHammers2426]

One of the most inspiring tales of all time.

[@MiguelMartinez-jw7tq]

I have been waiting for this for a very very long time, thank goodness this channel exists

[@roguerifter9724]

Can you imagine the blend and amount of hallucinogenics required to conceive this movie's plot?

[@seedyunderbellygaming7713]

You know it's bad when it makes Zane go Super Saiyan.

[@polarbear138]

Just realized that’s Osamu Nishimura. Of course his signature move is the northern lights suplex

[@johndavis48076]

There has to be a video of the Japanese version of Brian reviewing The Chaperone.

[@damightybenstein]

The ad that came on before was for Grunt Style, a brand that Mr. Zane may or may not have t-shirts of.

[@gameplaysolotheblade]

16:50 Still love that Brian Zane scream, now evolved into a Super Saiyan form of misery! :D

[@UnemployedClown1]

Now we need the sequel to be "Calamari Wrestler vs David Arquette"

[@fishtripper]

I believe the shrimp fighter is supposed to be a mantis shrimp mixed with a pistol shrimp, and now you know.

[@lb2.0.45]

Japan surely is weird also Brian I've been wanting to know what is that ringtone of yours that we hear in vids every once in a while lol.

[@Jhylla81]

The director of Calimari Wrestler has a whole slue of movies with random anthropomorphic characters, with such titles as Executive Koala, Goalkeeper Crab, and another wrestling movie called Kabuto-O Beetle.

[@jojo-b55]

Tonight on POWER RANGER VILLAIN REJECT WRESTLING, a grey squid w/ human legs vs..... A shrimp wearing a single boxing glove......