The Lowest Rated Homebrew MONSTERS on D&D Beyond

[@dragoknight589]

The best thing about Da Hard Wun is that it’s a Tiny swarm of Medium beasts. It’s multiple creatures, but when they’re together they take up far less space than if they were separate.

[@ludiloigranje9921]

Honestly, hilarious.

[@EdKolis]

It's a miniature neutron star. Breaks physics already...

[@zhoufang996]

I'm now wondering if it's some kind of joke about quantum mechanics

[@memyself229]

You're ignoring the fact it can travel 3/4 the world's circumference in one turn

[@SimoLInk1698]

This thing just defies all laws of physics without a care in the world

[@mcbadrobotvoice8155]

Pov: you use Aaraau's destroy universe and wake up in a world with nothing but these monsters

[@estelian5959]

If you can finish casting the spell, all of them dies, except for the Da Hard Wun that managed to run away to a different universe during the cast time

[@firemonke4463]

Should have double cast it in your last campaign to get it as a cantrip.

[@tatzecom]

@@firemonke4463 wait dont you become DM after casting it? Also, can i cast it as a ritual?

[@CalifornianCuttlefish]

oh no

[@Vassilinia]

@@estelian5959 I choked on my drinkfrom laughing too hard.

[@ChargeQM]

Comfort: Aphrodite pats your shoulder, but because she's got crazy broken stats, she accidentally turns you into a rapidly expanding mass of free atomic matter.

[@tiacat11]

Worst thing is, that's not far off from an actual Greek myth.

[@hazeltree7738]

@@tiacat11 Except you usually get turned into a flower Or an animal Or a monster

[@tiacat11]

@@hazeltree7738 Nah the one between Zeus and Semele really did end with Zeus turning into a god and her just blowing the fuck up. Kinda fucked up

[@papervulture]

​@@tiacat11if anything i feel the rapidly expanding mass of free atomic matter is rather chill by aphrodite's usual standards

[@ericbishop8046]

@@tiacat11 FRRRRRR, God, exists. Fav human, AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH, God. "oh. oops."

[@xavierzaballero9667]

I like how the deathly dagger still does 1 damage to elementals, constructs, aberrations, oozes, plants, and undead. I'm just imagining this "Commoner Assassin" instantly killing god, but then struggling to kill a potted plant.

[@Pravanul]

Just One Punch Man versus a mosquito

[@XD-sc4ix]

​@@Pravanul or one punch man vs a cat

[@tumage8592]

Mein kleiner Grüner Kaktus steht draußen am Balkon

[@jocoder255]

I'm imagining someone casting a con save cantrip and killing it instantly just like "huh. That wasn't so tough."

[@yourbiggestfan395]

I'm unsure why only this "commoner Assassin", something that's well documented apparently since there's a commonality in their appearance, would be the only enemy wielding the "Death Dagger" why wouldn't every bbeg and his minions all use it? Imagine some Lich fields an entire undead army with instant kill weapons.

[@DefinitivNichtSascha]

>barges into encounter at light speed >summons 1d20 goblins >refuses to elaborate further >leaves

[@EgoJCs21]

That is more or less how the Verdans came to be.

[@bryansmith844]

Classic da hard wun behavior

[@LasermanSteam]

>barges into encounter at light speed >"what, did you think this encounter would start just like that?" >"this encounter is sponsored by..."

[@Merilirem]

Explains where all those random trash mobs come from.

[@gormold4163]

*10,227,270 miles per hour. A little over mach 13,329. Technically only about 1.5% the speed of light.

[@BlackOtter9]

In my head-canon, the da hard wun is an anomaly that spawns (or re-spawns) goblins in random dungeons. It constantly travels around the world like santa and essentially restocks abandoned dungeons for future adventurers.

[@szysi3k]

I was always questioning all those flaming torches and fresh food in closed dungeons in Skyrim etc. Must have been a cousin of Da Hard Wun, with a different (re)spawn abilities.

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

@@szysi3k Yeah it’s called “It Jus Werks”

[@gabrielbarraza9929]

@@rynemcgriffin1752 Da Werkin Wun

[@ComedicLetter]

@@rynemcgriffin1752Todd Hardward

[@morrigankasa570]

​@@szysi3kIt is semi-canonical that the Draugr themselves light the Torches and somewhat keep the crypts clean as part of their duties.

[@HunterTracks]

Da hard wun is basically the DnD embodiment of that "The issue with being faster than light is that you always live in darkness" meme.

[@EdKolis]

That and the spelling make me wonder if it's an eldritch horror from Warhammer...

[@will3971]

@@EdKolis Da Orkz had fun naming that one.

[@Merilirem]

Sounds like it lives in water.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

Swimity Swim

[@ohyea8486]

Breaking causality by travelling faster than light only to summon goblins and be stinky, this is going in my campaign

[@Hoyts_]

Do NOT use the Atlas monster block! I used it last week at my session and I'm now wanted for several charges of murder!

[@alphanoodle1877]

You have a murderhobo party? Use the ATLAS The number one option for rude, uncaring, dickish players. Those that would see the end of your campaign to much for you? The ATLAS has got your back. Ready to commit first degree murder at your order. Death by your choice, laser or slams, death and destruction on those pesky murderhobo players.

[@user-a5Bw9de]

It feels like you've also violated several Federal laws by hacking into and operating the classified military satellite ATLAS, which is equipped with lethal-grade laser cannon, through unknown means. If this somehow turns out to be true, you've also committed a crime against the International Law for Peaceful Usage of the Outer Space. Man, this monster is the definitive version of a double-edged sword.

[@brib4911]

Oh the solution is simple. Use Atlas.

[@quantummidget]

I demand a trial by... D&D

[@zynthio]

I didn't think this needed to be said

[@lucillefrancois150]

I bet the Aphrodite one was made specifically because some DM somewhere had a player that said something along the lines of “I bet my character could kill Aphrodite, she can’t be that strong” and that caused a nerd argument powerful enough to create that stat block out of spite

[@PieletPi]

The player won so they had to rework it

[@theghostofthomasjenkins9643]

the DM secret is to make it up as you go along. your goal as DM isn't to run a perfect game. it's to run a fun game and sometimes, that means killing a player character.

[@gamergang2686]

@@theghostofthomasjenkins9643Yes, but not to this unreasonable amount. If they kill your boss, you don’t need to quickly homebrew an instant death NPC. It’s DND, it’s supposed to be fun for everyone. Wouldn’t be fun if you just randomly killed a character for no real story wise reason, without the player’s consent, or with no chance to fight back.

[@theghostofthomasjenkins9643]

@@gamergang2686 to a point. i will say if you've reached this point, you've already made a ton of mistakes as a DM. you also have a poor understanding of how to balance encounters. however, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making an opponent they can't beat even with all nat 20's. your players shouldn't be swinging for face every time and that's how you remind them of that. they should feel strong, but know there are forces that are stronger out there. the world doesn't revolve around them.

[@gamergang2686]

@ Yes, you shouldn’t be in this position. But throwing an unbeatable enemy without an in game reason (like Vlaakith in BG3) makes no sense.

[@elresponsibleadult2100]

I like how the assassin commoner can insta kill everything except elementals and abberations

[@ItsmeInternetStranger]

Or Oooze or Plants. Ancient Dragon? Dead in one hit! The Ficus? Too strong for me.

[@chaosjimthevoidlord3762]

constructs, and undead are safe too

[@overworkedwarlock94]

Don't forget oozes. A gelatinous cube would wreck shop on it.

[@Pickled_Poet]

It looks like only creature types that can be traditionally poisoned, or would have "blood" are included

[@dmeep]

also constructs like warforged and mechagnomes

[@LinearAztec]

The weirdest part is that Aphrodite has like, functional crosslinks and an edit history, which implies that a sincere amount of work went in to 600d8 on all attacks

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

feels to me like either a final boss, a deus ex machina, or a god the players aren't supposed to anger. For some actually well calculated homebrew setting.

[@Paeper_Shredder]

@@HappyBeezerStudios This is what I came here to say. We just finished our campaign and after everything was wrapped up our DM gave us a monster to just go wild on and use all of our skills and characters before our next campaign and characters. Could be for something like that.

[@Tinil0]

@@Paeper_Shredder But I cannot possibly imagine legitimate characters that even max level in a party of 8 or whatever could call that an encounter. It's over the top when there is no reason whatsoever to be over the top. And when you made it over the top originally you didn't need to FURTHER EMPOWER IT. That's just some idiot mentally jerking off.

[@Paeper_Shredder]

@@Tinil0 Oh absolutely. Even in our high power campaign this thing is FAR beyond us. We would get wiped instantly. Just a theory for how this monstrosity was somehow created.

[@Paeper_Shredder]

@@Tinil0 And yeah, like you said they just overdid it. It's AC and other numbers could be half of what they are and it'd still be absolutely bonkers.

[@ZorotheGallade]

DM: "A.T.L.A.S. charges his devastating laser beam, dealing 20 damage to all of you." Player: "That's not too bad." DM: "Not to your characters, to you" Player: "What?" (The A.T.L.A.S. miniature turns towards the player side of the table and starts glowing menacingly)

[@eldritch-rage]

Brilliant

[@novagears3604]

Atlas can also have 40 hit points

[@robertagren9360]

That's why they never have maps in D&D

[@theman6422]

This is zathura now. You must fight the robot now

[@thefriendlystegosaurus7472]

To clarify hit points in real life are how many hits a SHIP can take before it sinks. Everyone has 1 hit point, by that rule. soooooooo

[@FairyRat]

Every goblin you've ever encountered was summoned just for you on the spot by the da hard wun. It all makes sense now.

[@Kikoberserk]

that's the goblin god on my every campaign from now on

[@Gladuos1]

@@Kikoberserk the stat block reads like it was written by a goblin too lmao

[@Lil.Grandpa]

Deepest lore.

[@michaelramon2411]

For the record, the word "villain" (as in "a doer of evil") is an evolution of "villein" (a serf). In-between was a period where "villain" was used as a general insult ("you are poor/icky, but not necessarily evil"). If you read Shakespeare, you'll see character casually call servants and stuff "villain" because the word meant "low class" but did not yet mean "evil" in his day.

[@TheThirdPrice]

That's very interesting! Thanks for sharing, I love etymology :)

[@Xelante427]

Interesting how languages and cultures that are close together tend to follow close evolutions in meaning, as do words that look somewhat close to each other. We got pretty much the exact same thing in french, any word derived from latin "vilis" (cheap) like "vil" (vile) got from there to downright "ugly, poor-value" and on to "moraly wrong, repulsive". Which is not very different from the way the meaning of villain evolved in both english and french, even if current french "villain" is closer to "nasty" than to current english "villain". And all this despite the fact "villain" evolved from a completely different latin word originaly : "villa" (farmhouse). In parallel, "vaurien" (lit. worth nothing) for a worthless person, is actually a term that carries more favorable meaning today than it did back-then, though it's use has gotten pretty rare. Now I wonder if the same happened to some similar english designation like maybe rascal ?

[@michaelramon2411]

@@Xelante427 For a related word, "vulgar" derives from the Latin word for "common" or "ordinary." The main Latin Bible translation is known as the "Vulgate" because it was in the common language so that normal Romans could read it. But over time, vulgar shifted to mean "dirty", "profane" or "gross/bad but not exactly evil", and is nowadays mostly associated with swearing. I can't think of a word that has gone from bad to good off the top of my head, other than that "bad" itself sometimes gets used as a positive in slang. Its normal use of, well, "bad", is still much more common.

[@agilemind6241]

@@Xelante427 For recent examples in english "fat"/"Phat" and "sick" are now have positive uses depending on the context, "awesome" also used to means intimidating / terrifying and is now pretty universally good. "ghetto" is in the process of shifting from bad / terrible / discusting to a specific style / subculture that isn't necessarily good or bad.

[@ComedicLetter]

“So class, what have we learned?” “Poor people are evil!” *”NO!”*

[@Leet-iz2fz]

Da Hard Wun being a tiny swarm of medium beasts implies it's just a tiny, hyper-dense ball of the compacted flesh and bone of several animals. No wonder it yearns for death.

[@eldritchcupcakes3195]

Also no wonder he’s the hard one

[@coolboy9979]

I just like to imagine a level 20 party defeeating a the BBEG who is the most powerful lich, but before that lich dies he hires his far far cousin billy who is a peasent slave and just oneshots the PCs

[@yuvalgabay1023]

The party: haaa thats kinda sad .hed just a commoner whit a knife what can he *tf2 crit noise*

[@Wampao]

@@yuvalgabay1023 Oh my god, it's Spy TF2

[@Merilirem]

They tried to run from Billy but kept getting distracted by random goblins which seemed to appear out of nowhere.

[@senritsujumpsuit6021]

​@@Wampao surprised theirs no brew of him that is just no stats besides bear perfect stealth guaranteed crit when bending down

[@NoodleGoblin]

I love the irony of Ainz Ool Gown, being an over the top OP anime character, being dwarfed by commoner (assassin) and Aphrodite 🤣🤣🤣

[@petersmythe6462]

Out there somewhere, someone has an extremely careful balanced homebrew monster manual where 460 AC is a very meaningful amount and making it 470 would utterly break their entire thing.

[@Soitisisit]

Well I didn't, but now I'm tempted to make that my morning.

[@thisgoddamusernamestoodamnlong]

@@Soitisisit one of my friends runs a campaign where the players are basically jrpg characters. Think every number boosted to a baseline of 1000

[@Soitisisit]

@@thisgoddamusernamestoodamnlong Nice. Sounds fun, but also isn't for me. For me, the more zeroes that trail after the number, the less I actually feel connected to the number. I'd rather a hit of 13 be a kill than a hit of 130. If, for some reason, I was ever in a system where I needed the precision that having a hit multiplied by 10 would need, I'd rather use decimals. The math isn't any more difficult, but it's mentally easier for me to calculate percentages and how much I should worry when I get hit for 12.6 out of 16 hp rather than 126 out of 160. It's a subjective thing, but that's how it is for me. For me, if I am getting big numbers involved, it's gotta scale proportionately. i.e. 100 damage should be worth ten times 10 damage rather than be effectively the same but scaled by 10 for big numbers. It's one of the things that makes me prefer the original Final Fantasy NES games to the remakes besides the aesthetics and nostalgia. It's very much a "to each their own" and I wouldn't have a problem playing in a system like that if that's what my friend group wanted to play. But no, when I hear "AC of 460" or something dumb like that, I absolutely intend for the player to just dip their hands in a bucket full of d20s and drop them on the table. Otherwise, I don't see much point unless you're in a really wacky system where you do something like roll a d20 and then roll a d100 for your multiplier. Which could work, but would also probably frustrate me as a player until I was used to it. Whereas just dumping a bunch of dice on the table is funny and gives a perk for owning that many math rocks. The key would be to not do it too often lest counting the dice take up half the session and get on everyone's nerves. I'm interested to hear a bit more about the system that your friends run though.

[@jeroen92]

20 assassins on average will kill aphrodite in one turn

[@usxldcom7543]

Commoner sweep

[@kirkkerman]

They can't hit her AC though

[@dascientist8443]

@@kirkkerman They still hit if they crit, at which point she “suffers instant death”.

[@blurb9319]

@@kirkkerman Crit

[@jeroen92]

@@kirkkerman yes they can. Crits always hit.

[@pistaalkohol]

I like the idea behind the Da Hard Wun. It is a swarm of medium beasts, but the swarm itself is only tiny. Those wolves are compressed into diamonds, no wonder they are hard.

[@Ryu_Himora]

I love how Ains is a 15th level spellcaster that appears to know two first-level spells and two second-level spells. Also, with only 99 HP it instantly dies to Garlic Bread domain Cleric.

[@dragonheart1236]

I sense an unfinished stat block

[@TheGoron3000]

Also totally not an Overlord reference

[@FFKonoko]

Considering how low its spell save dc and to hit are for a 15th level spellcaster it also feels like someone didn't quite understand dnd spellcasting.

[@leonardhollsten8145]

@@FFKonoko I feel that is the case with nearly all of the DnDbeyond Homebrew. They don't understand HP, AC, to hit, damage and a wide variety of other thing. All they understand is if they put big number (1000 in most cases) and does a bajillion damage and they autohit they have created a good monster. Its why there are nearly more 30 CR monsters in DnDbeyond than between 20-29 CR.

[@Rutherford_Inchworm_III]

None can stand before the power of Garlic Bread. I'm hungry just thinking of it.

[@PaigeDyerASMR]

I'm not sure if Jacob knew this or not but for anyone wondering, Ainz Ooal Gown is a character from an anime. So somebody was trying to make a stat block for an anime character and probably got annoyed at DNDBeyond's monster creation process

[@Vassilinia]

A weeb definitely made that sheet lmaoooo

[@PaigeDyerASMR]

@@Vassilinia 100%

[@christophercrafte]

They also completed nerfed it making him useless instead of the powerful lich he is.

[@Doncroft1]

Overlord

[@HunterTracks]

@@christophercrafte They probably wanted to make him a boss for a lvl 1 oneshot, if I had to guess.

[@videoapollo4044]

I find it funnier imagining Aphrodite being prone and still chasing after you on all fours like some kind of horror movie villain xd

[@starwarsnerd100]

Or that part of Revenge of the Sith where Greivous scuttles around on the ground like a crab.

[@NinjaSushi2]

She's the goddess of love so of course she's prone.

[@arthropodqueen]

she's also gargantuan

[@EdKolis]

@@starwarsnerd100 Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight... But please do go and take her for your mate!

[@AllyOJustice]

Reminds me of the bad guy from Bob’s Burgers.

[@SpaceLemon.]

I can't get over how Atlas walks faster than he can run.

[@Belphegorite]

Really long strides when walking, but it runs like it's dancing in an 80's music video.

[@Pihsrosnec]

it's like it's underwater ig

[@Слышьты-ф4ю]

Running is, like, jumping on one leg, then another one, and again Must be hard if he's heavy Or it's just that walk is so menacing that everything else gets slower

[@magnuswright5572]

Da Hard Wun doesn't just break the sound barrier. He's moving at 4.5 million meters per second, that's 1.5% the speed of light. The air fuses with the front of his body as he runs, creating massive explosions whenever he moves

[@shepgustafson8131]

Yes, it would be going over 10000 times the speed of sound

[@Tletna]

But that's it's max speed, if it ever chose to move at it, everyone would die and then no one would be left over to give it the sweet sweet release of death. So, it *can* move that fast, but generally does not.

[@banaman7746]

speed of light is approximately 300 million meters per second (299,792,458 m/s) and the speed of 90 million would be over 6 seconds, not one... broken down that's still 15 million meters per second which is about 5% the speed of light though, so... ya. based on a certain xkcd article, I'm gonna say you are probably still correct. turns out, the only thing da hard wun needed to do... is go at full speed.

[@alphastronghold715]

Except that he can only use that speed in the water, which would do substantially more damage as the water is more dense and thus has more material for fusion.

[@VicStrange9]

You see, Da Hard Wun are one with the Speed Force

[@kingofroses302]

I actually kinda like some of the concepts in Da Hard Wun. - Encourages the players to kill it, but any damage done is reflected onto the players. Maybe this effect can be negated by obtaining some sort of mcguffin item, or as stated only lasts for a few attacks. - Only takes damage while in direct light, meaning the players will have to coordinate and use the environment to their advantage. - Is a shapeshifter, so it might trick people into accidentally damaging it, thus dealing damage to themselves. Its like The Thing, but you are actively not trying to hurt it.

[@Telhias]

The reflection effect is already balanced. It works only 3 times a day. You have to bait it out with some low damage attacks on someone with a lot of hp.

[@canadiangopnik7007]

@@Telhias though hypothetically it can just leave, disengage action, then just zoom to the other side of the planet

[@idontno6d105]

I also like the idea of something being instantly able to escape once it touches water, albeit it would have to move pretty slow otherwise but that would also force the players to be aware of their surroundings

[@meteorsmash7876]

If it takes fall damage does it just like blow up the earth?

[@Nirrith]

@@meteorsmash7876 yeah, that's what happened to the dinosaurs. Fall damage was not the solution

[@SelkieRiddel]

The Aphrodite one get's even better when you scroll down and read "Aphrodite is the lover of Shade The Shadow Stalker, God of Darkness, Fear and Vengance, but despite their immense love they rarely meet, existing in two opposite planes." and realize the uploader is named TheShadowStalker And also the 115 DC wisdom save to resist being charmed. And that if... IF... Aphrodite manages to die, the effects wear off over 1d10 months. Until she comes back.

[@WarmLusamine]

OC self-fellatio, gotcha.

[@_Hamler]

LMAO

[@sushimartyr6311]

I can’t tell if that’s sweet or somewhat sad or both.

[@mealone2234]

​@sushimartyr6311 its sad, its just sad. Im a romantic at heart and a very empathetic person. Thats just sad.

[@EarthPhantomTS]

Something tells me She's not into him, though.

[@tylerjaafari]

I now want two things. A combat session where one person controls Aphrodite and everyone gets a monster from the rest of this video and tries to defeat her. An SCP Foundation campaign with these as anomalies.

[@greenscreencarcrash]

I feel like Da Hard Wun could beat Aphrodite

[@rotothedragonlord7198]

@@greenscreencarcrash All he needs is enough goblins

[@Universe_Arcana]

And all of this is a fun little game conjured up by the Crimson King. Perfect idea for a one-shot.

[@ricorex6705]

All you need is the commoner assail and hope for a crit and cause them to suffer instant death

[@AreaCode000]

Bro let's DO THIS!

[@Parelf]

De hard one killed me. I couldn't stop laughing at the implications of there being an enemy, that at any point in time, can just teleport to the party, summon goblins, then teleport away. AT. ANY. TIME. Trading with a trader? Goblins. Talking to the king? Goblins. Drinking at the bar? Gobilns. This enemy would be the most Troll enemy the DM could add just to laugh and make the players really mad.

[@Przemko27Z]

Actually, it would be the most Goblins enemy the DM could add.

[@pizzaparker6986]

Da Hard Wun is no longer on D&D beyond :(

[@andrefelipe7865]

Its basically those mods in Skyrim where if you do the wrong thing, 5 trillion bears spawn out of nowhere

[@sssargon8569]

@@pizzaparker6986 It actually still is, you just have to scroll a bit more cause a few ppl upvoted it

[@jesseskoubo855]

Although if DaHardWun passes through the threatened space of someone with sentinel....

[@penguinpaladin5617]

Ironically, Ains Oowl Goon should have a stat block that looks more like Aphrodite according to his canon

[@Michael-bc3es]

Needs An ainz sausaga ability where every mistake he makes is really just perceived as his 10k year plan

[@kippeen8195]

The states make sense if you watch the show. Dude literally killing whole country's army like its nothing. 😮

[@groovyhoovy2606]

Since Yggdrasil from overlord is based on DND Ainz is supposed to be as strong as a level 20 elder litch more or less

[@EskChan19]

@@kippeen8195 The Aphrodite stats would make sense. The stats for Ainz don't make any sense at all, his stats SUCK. He's not very strong, he knows a few cantrips and a second level spell, he's CR 5 at most in this version. He's definitely not a 30

[@kokirij0167]

I know this comment is 4 moths old but what I find even worse is that he straight up doesn't have anything akin to The Goal of All Life is Death. THAT'S HIS SIGNATURE SPELL, HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT????

[@madeking4]

The problem with the Da hard Wun is if he stubs his toe while travelling at 90,000,000 speed and takes, say, 1 damage. His legendary action will trigger and deal 10 damage to him for hurting himself, which will trigger his legendary action for hurting himself and deal 100 damage, which will trigger the 3rd use of his legendary action for 1000 damage and he's dead.

[@Pihsrosnec]

there is no way stubbing your toe at that speed only deals 1 damage

[@mariothane8754]

I imagine in one campaign, the goal is to defeat the entirely legendary beast that nobody has ever faced and survived, and the players learn that this is the only way to defeat it.

[@1Peasant]

If it has toes that's bleed, we can kill it

[@teathesilkwing7616]

Not necessarily. In that case, you could say that the thing he stubs his toe on is the attacker. He stubs his toe on a table, taking one damage and breaking the table

[@Elyseon]

"Stop hitting yourself!"

[@ImmortalLemon]

Ugh this brings me back to the dumbest homebrew I made for fun. I made a live goose as a weapon that does 2d4 damage on a hit but if you miss with the goose then it gets an attack of opportunity on you

[@gurmyigoll3535]

Sounds great as a gag weapon made by gnomes to troll people. Any other funny ideas?

[@ImmortalLemon]

@@gurmyigoll3535 one friend of mine had an idea for a sentient magic item that was an incredibly powerful bow that does damage similar to a 9th level spell. The only catch is that you have to pass a DC 30+ persuasion check otherwise she refuses to fire correctly. And then she will ignore you for the rest of the week

[@ther.w.d.channel1501]

I'm using this now😂

[@pafnutiytheartist]

This actually sounds like fun. The stuff in the video is too op to be fun

[@ImmortalLemon]

@@pafnutiytheartist I usually try to keep things balanced but dumb

[@areoants9453]

Assuming the Commoner (Assassin) managed to get at least one sneak attack on Aphrodite, if crit successes are allowed, then it's possible her insane stats wouldn't mean anything if she suffers instant death.

[@kikixchannel]

What's even the point of training men to become knights if that demotes them, right? Why make ones fighting forces less lethal...Enslave them all, I say! Enslave and turn into one-hit-kill monsters with insane dexterity! Yeah...

[@sarahmellinger3335]

@@kikixchannel undead

[@AverageEggmonEnthusiast]

I can just imagine 2 7yo duking it out.

[@theghostofthomasjenkins9643]

then you've failed as a DM on multiple levels.

[@Moofal]

Ainz Own Gown is the main character from the anime Overlord. Overlord was originaly a web-novel and the creator (kugane maruyama) is an avid fan and player of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and Dungeons and Dragons 3.0-3.5 . Overlord takes a lot of inspiration from early editions of d&d and the main character would normaly be the BBEG.

[@ws04]

^^^

[@CharlieSmith-ts1eg]

i watch the anime

[@Wertical93]

Overlord is a great anime, but that statblock doesnt't make sense :D

[@realdragon]

@@Wertical93 He do have 13 AC plate or robe

[@christophercrafte]

I read your comment before it showed up in the video and assumed he was gonna be understandably op but nah they nerfed him into the ground. I think the person who made it wanted to make Ains but wasn't exactly qualified to make dnd homebrew.

[@joelhaggis5054]

I like that a single Da Hard Wun is medium, but a swarm of them is tiny.

[@timetraveler_from_2012]

if enough Da Hard Wuns come together then they form a black hole

[@ulrichbrodowsky5016]

@@timetraveler_from_2012 So true!

[@Orlando_Furioso]

Get the weather man to kill Da Hard One

[@FFKonoko]

They move so fast that the act of coming together into a swarm causes them to clip into each other and then project most of their mass into another plane.

[@irinore]

Don't let this distract you from the fact that we still don't know the whereabouts of a large size Da Hard Wun

[@rogermwilcox]

13:35 : But don't forget, when Da Hard Wun moves within 5 feet of an enemy, and then tries to run away -- even though he can run millions of feet per round -- the enemy can get an opportunity attack against it.

[@cewla3348]

even though it moves faster than light, you can still hit the opportunity attack

[@hypertoaster9961]

And then there is that one random fighter with sentinel like "nah uh, son!"

[@PikaPenny17]

Also you can prepare an action to attack it.

[@BiggestGal]

I love how underpowered Ainz's statblock is in comparison to the character it's based on.

[@martinnielsen2470]

Exactly. Relative to own universe he's a borderline deity, summoning lovecraftian horrors because he wants someone's land and commanding an army of essentially demi-gods. Ainz in Dnd? I can cast a couple spells... they probably won't hit, but they're kind of neat.

[@PhoenixIsTrash]

Ah, it's an Anime homebrew. That.... explains a lot.

[@ballsucker28]

My dm actually had a character that reduces you to 1 hp with grasp heart

[@BioYuGi]

Ainz has won fights against the most powerful people in the realm just by going Time Stop. Grasp Heart/Instant Death and it's not failed him once. In a world where most humans can get to like, 'level 30' he would be showing up as 'Level ?!?!?!?'

[@Tate_THG]

@@PhoenixIsTrash but it’s a anime sorta based off dnd, the author wrote the serious when his friends became to busy to play games or do dnd with him

[@lucasimieli3727]

“1 damage thats not very deadly” ominous last words before he succumbs to the suffering of the Commoner (Assassin’s) instant death

[@Oxygen1004]

"HA you only poked me with tha-"

[@ComedicLetter]

“NEVER CHALLENGE A SICILIAN WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!”

[@dripthanos5595]

some people say that when you roll a nat20, you always hit regardless of the target's AC, so if deathly dagger rolls a nat20, it will instant kill Aphrodite because they are a celestial

[@patrickholzer6415]

Nah, it won't insta kill her, it will make her *suffer* insta kill, huge difference XD

[@FallenFromGlory]

that's the rules yeah

[@alimcknight]

when you roll a nat20 you do always hit

[@Candlemancer]

Yes that is a core rule in the 5e PHB

[@HailTheRegent]

That Ainz Ooal Gown build is drastically underpowered compared to the character its based on. Dude's got over 700 spells including Meteor Swarm, Power Word Kill, and Time Stop. Frankly it'd be easier naming which D&D spell he _can't_ cast.

[@lordgod9958]

Also his stash of world items

[@chrismanuel9768]

I almost feel like it was a joke. They made a ridiculous OP anime super villain whose entire concept is they're an unkillable badass... and they made him have 13AC and like three spells

[@camerapasteurize7215]

Ikr 13 AC? 99 HP? Four Spells???!?!?!

[@chongwillson972]

@@chrismanuel9768 overlord fan here and well ainz is not really unkillable in the series , their are foes that could kill if he was not careful.

[@justingovas415]

@@chrismanuel9768 nothing is ever unkillable.

[@early2000skid]

Things I love about A.T.L.A.S's "if you are unconscious, paralyzed, charmed, ect., make one other player unconscious, paralyzed, charmed, etc." effect at 10:52: - It says roll "a dice" - plural - It does not specify a DC, so the dice roll is pointless - It says the affect applies to *players*, not player characters - The implication is that the DM picks up a "dice", rolls it for no reason, and then if one of the players has fallen asleep waiting for their turn, another player does too.

[@aionicthunder]

- "All knows all knows due to him knowing all things"

[@5eater551]

Actually “dice” can be used as a singular or plural and it is still grammatically correct.

[@EdKolis]

@@5eater551 I learned that by playing Dicey Dungeons!

[@matthewbibby8921]

The alternative implication is that "rolling dice" actually means yeeting them at your still-conscious friend so hard they join the unconscious one on the floor.

[@EdKolis]

@@matthewbibby8921 I learned that by playing Dicey Dungeons, too! Specifically as the witch character...

[@luhvhue4591]

Da Hard Wun is actually pretty cool as like a high concept entity that roams the planet. Just make it so it can't heal so that eventually with enough time, it can be released from this mortal coil.

[@RonaldMcJuicy]

honestly, making walking faster than running would be a really cool thematic thing for some sort of eldritch or otherworldy incomprehensible spooky thing or something. sounds creepy as heck

[@boldCactuslad]

the entity, being unused to this plane, trips, stumbles, and teleports with great speed and unpredictability as it attempts to walk cautiously. when weakened, scared etc, it becomes predictable as it loses touch with reality. if its concentration is broken or if it attempts to run, it may appear in stasis or suddenly fall prone.

[@Klespyrian]

It's like a horror movie villain

[@bart7114]

@@boldCactuslad This thing about needing constant concentration seems like a cool system for a gimmick boss. Some eldritch abomination basically immune to every dmg type, but with low Will save and receives ton of dmg every time it's concentration gets broken due to accidentally phase-shifting part of itself out of mortal plane. Obviously players will miss all the clues about that weakness but whatever....

[@Spectingthemvoid]

I always worry about my homebrew being too strong or too weak, then I see this and think "nah, I can balance"

[@ObeyCamp]

The figures we see on the Aphrodite character makes me think it has to be some kind of NPC that a DM (probably a new DM, but thats okay,) made to counter a party who cannot restrain themselves from visciously attacking and murdering every NPC the DM puts in front of the party lol. That has to be it. She can tank anything with 460 armor and in case that doesn't work she can literally fly away like a supersonic jet, and if she somehow does get hit "10/day[,] if Aphrodite fails a saving throw, she can choose to succeed instead." Lmao.

[@Beepers559]

And then she gets backstabbed by commoner (assassin) and suffers instant death

[@Forsakei]

That Ainz Ooal Gown one tells me that they just saw two very isolated scenes and was like "Yeah, this sounds right."

[@Keeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

The whole monologue you presented for “Da Hard One” is a pretty amazing concept for a PC. A possibility undead character who only wishes for death but is never granted it, and even when looking for assistance in finding an escape from this world they end up killing without even meaning to.

[@devonm042690]

A tragic character made out to be a villain from reports that he lures victims in with false pleas to be freed from the prison of undeath, only to mercilessly slaughter them while laughing maniacally. The truth is his undeath keeps him from going anywhere with much light, and in darkness he has heavy resistance to everything, so no one can do much to him and any who try just get debilitating wounds for their efforts. As for the maniacal laugh, it's actually hysterical crying without the ability to cry and with a skeletal face.

[@andrewgreenwood9068]

This sounds like the underking in dagerfall.

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

And it just has hundreds of goblins in its pockets that it throws at any creature it wants

[@Drakonaut]

Super late to mention this, but Ainz Ool Gown is from an anime, which is why stuff like "plate or robe" doesn't make sense, because he actually changes class in the show thus changes armor type [and yet keeps same AC cause anime].

[@Pihsrosnec]

pretty sure in the show the AC is different but doesn't matter because both are obscenely OP... like 500 AC vs 700 AC Honestly that show was really boring and disappointing. I thought that because the world was clearly not a threat by itself the conflict would be between his faction or something, trying to balance the evil persona he created for a video game with no real consequences with his actual morality without letting his minions realise something was up and betray him. Instead it's just the anime equivalent of a hydraulic press video where a variety of things are completely decimated with no real chance of winning.

[@mt__freezeice9891]

He changes his class so that he can equip higher level melee weapons

[@jimshotfirst4887]

@@Pihsrosnec”anime equivalent of a hydraulic press video” has me cracking up, I’m gonna steal that

[@Pihsrosnec]

@@jimshotfirst4887 glad to be of service!

[@assassin_5656]

​@@PihsrosnecI'd recommend reading the light novels. They delve far more into Ainz's personality as well as the NPC's personalities. The anime is a mid quality remake of the novels that tries but fails to be good😂. The whole story is basically about how you cannot escape everything, that includes Ainz as he slowly falls into despair and loneliness

[@SmugCoffeeMan]

The best part of this video was quite literally him not knowing what a serf was despite running a channel centered on a medieval fantasy ttrpg.

[@franklangston3004]

Serf basically slave

[@aster7654]

I'm gonna have nightmares about Aphrodite briskly walking at an alarming speed in my general direction

[@DonPatch]

Nightmares? Oh- right, nightmares of Aphrodite, right!

[@definitelyacabbagefarmer5996]

* Wide Putin theme plays*

[@aster7654]

@@DonPatch can't you have nightmares about Aphrodite?

[@AndrewTheUltraBoss99]

@@aster7654 I call those wet dreams

[@aster7654]

@@AndrewTheUltraBoss99 Ooh... Yeah no, Aphrodite would definitely be nightmare fuel for me

[@UtterlyTangential]

9:40 You're right, that could make a cool feat. Sheer Determination: - Increase your Constitution score by 1, to a maximum of 20. - After you take damage from a weapon attack or a spell, you may use your reaction to roll 1d6 and add the number rolled to your AC for 1 minute. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier, regaining expended uses after a long rest. Or something like that.

[@TheMulberryShark]

One minute feels too long, I'd say it's like: Hasty Dodge: -Increase your Dexterity score by one, to a maximum of 20 -As a Reaction when you take damage you can choose to gain a bonus to your AC equal to your Dexterity modifier (or maybe prof bon?) until the end of your next turn

[@TheMulberryShark]

Then obviously it's either proficiency bonus times per day or short rest

[@hughjanes4883]

Hey DM I got an idea for a player race that uses a monster stat block, I've used it in some other games and it seems pretty balanced. *pulls out Aphrodite sheet*

[@jojogacha974]

Dm: yea that’s seems gud aight it’s in

[@atsukana1704]

@@jojogacha974proceeds to roll 300 d20s just to kill a random gerblin

[@sephikong8323]

Character just casually goes to the Nine Hells to solo the ENTIRE PLANE

[@VicStrange9]

@@sephikong8323 damn one of my characters did that, although I'm not sure if he managed to solo everything, maybe 80%

[@adamtaurus5380]

How I imagine 5e will be played after WotC releases another book or two.

[@MODGAMINYT]

Maybe the point of Aphrodite being unbeatable is because in their campaign she's a literal god and some players try to kill the gods thinking they're soo slick and min max to the high heathens or maybe she's meant to be in a battle with another God who can hurt her and the players have to complete some sort of puzzle or gather some magical trinkets in order to help seal it away? Thats just hopeful thinking on my part

[@CelynBrum]

Probably, but as the saying goes: "if it has stats, we can kill it". Trying to stat an unkillable god is a mistake at the conceptual level.

[@MODGAMINYT]

@@CelynBrum i know im just trying to guess why the might possibly have done this

[@EpicGhostRider]

My initial thought was that it could be from some Final Fantasy-type campaign where the players all have so many bonuses that this is reasonable there

[@nickchivers9029]

@@EpicGhostRider 3.5

[@robertwyatt3912]

@@EpicGhostRider ah yes. The DBZ campaign

[@MakeVarahHappen]

My favorite part about these videos is when Jacob laughs about how a word definitely doesn't exist just to find out that it was skipped over in his education.

[@simonfitzgerald7104]

Da Hard Wun actually seems like a cool concept. He’s like this sort of meme lord god that just appears, makes it stinky, and simmonds goblins for your player to fight. This is a great crutch for the DM if he didn’t plan anything

[@murrmakesstuff9269]

simmonds

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

@@murrmakesstuff9269 Fuck it that’s what he does. Just simmons a bunch of Giblunes

[@elkraft1046]

4:52 The dm casually rolls 300 dice and makes a note each time, not telling the players anything. I would be terrified

[@durema9720]

Honestly I remember first time a party was fighting a dragon and then after our turn ended he just throws 10 d10 and then repeats it without explaining but even before he did we already were like "on no"

[@foxsecret]

​@@durema9720what happened after the 10 dice were rolled?

[@durema9720]

@@foxsecret It's a dragon take a guess 😆.

[@rampagingsasquatch5847]

"There are two wolves inside you. One is Commoner Assassin, the other is- THE NEW SWIFFER POWER MOP!" -A perfectly-timed ad

[@SuperCaitball]

11:37 So what actually happens is you shine a harmless laser pointer at each of your friends, then hurl two 20-sided dice at their faces, because humans in real life do not "take 2d20 damage".

[@generatoralignmentdevalue]

What if I hurled 2d20 at someone's character? Like some good, solid, metal dice with the hard edges. Would they take, say, 2d4 2d20 damage?

[@Vitenoxi]

@@generatoralignmentdevalue Thank you for the free homebrew idea, I'll be permanently borrowing that

[@Anty_Praza]

And you(DM controling A.T.L.A.S.) roll a d20, and if you roll a nat 20 then you point laser at the player's eye.

[@ez-code5448]

Ainz Ooal Gown is the main character of a light novel called Overlord where the dude gets isekaid into his OP MMO lich character, with plenty of DnD references. I'm almost certain the author wrote a character sheet better than in the video hah

[@Ishlacorrin]

Oh he did, in the Manga the characters from Overlord can level up to level 100, so this version does not even come close to what he would really be.

[@Voldrim359]

@@Ishlacorrin of course not, characters on DnD can level up to 20 at max and only if the campaign goes that high level. Overlord is different because it comes from a MMO, so leves goes to a max of 100... Still, i think i find the author of Overlord petty...

[@Ishlacorrin]

@@Voldrim359 I find the system used in Overlord rather interesting myself. I'd love to see it put to a full ruleset at some point, just to explore possible character builds.

[@filipaleksiekczuk3712]

Whatever was in the video seems like someone's first try to make a sheet for their favorite anime character. Wholesome and cringe at the same time

[@NonExclusive6669]

Ty omg hfs omeglul some one knows. Take my like

[@dizzydial8081]

I really love these overpowered monsters because it reminds me of playing with my brother and how insane our toys' powers and abilities would become to 1-up each other.

[@MAML_]

forcefeild that blocks all swords when i use sword that breaks all forcefields that block all swords

[@iluvyurbles]

My guy can throw the whole universe at you to do 34556477632785533330998552229 damage

[@Vitaire]

Da Hard Wun does seem to have an obvious exploit though: somehow manage to make it damage itself. Because of its "I wish any harm done to me" action it will get stuck in a feedback loop, where it will progressively hit itself ten times harder with each cycle until finally the sweet release of death frees it.

[@ViktorTheMusician]

Have it trip or fall 10 feet or misfire an item or something and it'd be dead in 3 cycles 1 damage x 10 = 10 X10 = 100 X10 = 1000

[@Tuxfanturnip]

isn't that a legendary action though? 3/day

[@wititorac]

Cloud rune I think could work?

[@cattiston374]

As Poweful as this being is…. Has mostly ALL condition immunities including Unconscious except…. Restrained. Cast Telekinesis, that +10 to STR seems powerful but you can combat it several ways (Jack of All Trades, Magical Guidance, Enhance Ability) raise it up 10 feet, drop concentration and let this being explode on itself lol

[@DrNoxVess]

Or, if you knew it was gonna be somewhere, you do some prep. You need a wizard to cast a glyph of warding with the spell Cloudkill, the a second wizard to ready their action to cast forcecage (choosing the solid option), then the first wizard readies their action to cast Invulnerability. Then you need a fighter with Polearm Master and Sentinal. Then the fighter needs to stand in the way of the Da hard wun, as it enters the fighter’s space they use their reaction to AoO and, assuming they hit, the Da hard wun’s speed drops to zero, then the forcecage goes up so the Da hard one can’t leave, the cloudkill activates and the wizard who set up the cloudkill casts their Invulnerability so they take no damage. Then just let it die.

[@shennkotoba]

That last one reminds me of the XKCD Relativistic ball problem. Da Hard Wan shows up at lightspeed, causing a nuclear blast, deposits some goblins, then leaves, immediately causing another nuke to go off.

[@Nitosa]

The last thing you will see before being obliterated are goblins, idk thats sounds funny to me.

[@RoflcopterLamo]

That fact it’s actually compressed matter since it’s smaller when in a swarm then by itself probably causes gravity like the moon ripping up ground and moving waves

[@somegoof2445]

I like the sound of bbeg Da Hard Wun. The player characters are all brought together by a strange dream. A swarm of bees or something making up the shape of a face, that emotes perfectly. Like Andross in Star Fox 64. As they all leave their group therapy session, the face appears, spawns goblins, giggles to itself, and leaves. They must kill the face, or be haunted by it forever

[@yaminoryuu9558]

I really love how the last one is a swarm of MEDIUM CREATURES.... but the actual swarm size is TINY...

[@SGWeber]

Damn, Jacob just put more heart and soul into a shitpost about the Da Hard Wun than most of the people who made these homebrews

[@bookies24k8]

I like how Aphrodite is basically completely impervious, has immunity to almost every damage type, but still doesn't have resistance to force damage. so the only way to kill her would be a crit roll repelling blast near an infinitely steep cliff

[@SillySyrup]

The thing is, not dying to the deathly dagger would be an actually good reason to play the ooze race from spelljammer.

[@x0Vinny0x]

Can you please run a one shot with your crew involving all the worst things on D&D beyond? Monsters, NPCs, quests, etc. I think that would be hilarious!

[@generatoralignmentdevalue]

That would be beautiful. Maybe as a capstone once he's seen the worst-rated homebrew in each category.

[@andrewsad1]

9:42 I'm glad you said that's actually super cool right when I was thinking that. I've had that idea for a while, an opponent whose AC changes based on the last attack roll; so like, wizard punches him, rolls a 7 total, and the bad guy's AC becomes 7 until someone attacks again. Of course this works best as a puzzle, it'll stop being interesting shortly after the players figure out the gimmick unless you make it more interesting than I just did

[@jeremiahwarden5959]

I love how the literal goddess Aphrodite has only 30 charisma.

[@humanoidshrek5524]

aphrodite, the CEO of sex, only has 30 charisma

[@papervulture]

aphrodite has 30 charisma and is NEUTRAL GOOD? NEUTRAL?

[@talleywa5772]

@@papervulture right? That bitch is chaotic as fuck on the best days

[@Ishlacorrin]

By the 'new' D&D 5E rules, nothing can go above 30 for any reason... yeah, it's that stupid.

[@Voldrim359]

@@papervulture I don't know why she isn't CG or CN

[@pietran5832]

the fun thing about having 10000 AC and an hp in Scientific notation is that two crits with the magic trident Wave still kills you

[@Pundae]

4:00 so... what you're telling me is... that the word "villain" originated from feudal middle managers?

[@da_nong8152]

“The only problem about being faster than light is that you only live in the darkness” - da hard wun

[@Niyucuatro]

those over the top Afrodite stats reminds me of the older editions god stats that had that kind of over the top numbers just to give it some consistency with the rest of creatures, but were never intended to actually use in encounters.

[@danielcastillo591]

It's the replacement for saying "Yeah, fuck you guys, if you fight this God you die, no getting out of it"

[@timetraveler_from_2012]

@@danielcastillo591 honestly though it doesn't make sense that a character could even hit or deal damage to a god. Having stats implies it's possible that if you threw enough humans at a god that it would be swamped by action economy and die

[@Straga_Severa]

@@timetraveler_from_2012 IIRC, in Greek mythology it was the same. You could harm or even kill a god, it just took a lot of time and a lot of men. Aphrodite (or some other god, I don't exactly remember) was injured in the Troyan war, for example.

[@ComedicLetter]

@@danielcastillo591alternatively: “God has a stat block. That means we can kill it. Who wants to fight a god with me?”

[@kikixchannel]

@@timetraveler_from_2012 Most gods in human myths are actually neither omnipresent, omniscient nor omnipotent. Some of them actually fought against humans and sometimes even had some difficulties. In fact, gods that are 'untouchable' by humans that I know of are literally limited to...just one god. Literally just one god. Except, this god is used by several different religions (but it's still just one and the same god).

[@tarhun9977]

Ad ends at 0:46

[@bobafett9407]

Thanks

[@BennettRDavis]

I love how, this is 2 times in a row, the most low rated one is just a slightly strong thing that isn’t really that bad, and then the one after that is just a dnd hate crime.

[@astuteanansi4935]

I feel like Commoner Assassin is executed worse than Aphrodite. At least she makes sense as a concept. She is a goddess with the stats of a goddess. Commoner Assassin can casually murder a level 20, but has a 1/8th challenge rating, implying that someone thought "yeah, throwing like 8 of these at my level 1 party seems like a fair fight"

[@BennettRDavis]

Yeah, I see your point, but it’s still like, the first one is kind of an actual idea and the other one is just “Big numbers funny”

[@InquisitorThomas]

@@astuteanansi4935 Also if they’re intended to the DM’s Finger of God for dealing with a murderhobo going full cyberpsycho they aren’t that reliable either. A +10 to initiative is really good, but there’s still a chance a PC can beat their initiative if the assassins roll below a 10, and if you can strike first they have a really mediocre AC and pretty low health.

[@astuteanansi4935]

@@InquisitorThomas that's where you pull out Aphrodite and have her... comfort them

[@ayandragon2727]

@@BennettRDavis I mean I've ran obscenely high power campaigns where god stats became relevent. (Though never this extreme.) Statting a god is a legitimate concept, even if the resulting stat block is probably of little use.

[@apparentlysomeone2103]

I feel like Aphrodite was in response to a group of murder hobos, like here is her stats and she protects the world. They were like "you just threw that together" so the dm gave her everything she would need to be an actual god with no chance at excuses. Instead of saying " because she's a god!" for the millionth time.

[@fluidthought42]

Still don't stat her. Lady of Pain don't need no stats, because if you fuck with her your ass is grass no matter who or what you are. A lack of stats guarantees functional immortality more than the most ridiculous stat block ever.

[@g4man41]

That 60ft speed, and 100ft walk must be mind melting to experience.

[@josiebianchi3481]

Aphrodite may have like 21000 hit points, but 5% of the time the Deathly Dagger still gets her

[@a-s-greig]

_so you're saying there's a chance_

[@robertagren9360]

And faster than a bullet

[@EvilCoffeeInc]

I actually don't hate the idea of a status effect that gets applied to an ally. Imagine you have a psionic kobold variant or some similar pack monster. They would be dangerous in a group, whittling down a party's resistance with fear and confusion, but perhaps they share a psychic link to better cooperate. Sometimes status effects ailing one monster might propagate to other monsters, causing them to believe they're afflicted by the same debuff. I think that could be a neat idea if given some forethought about pack size and status spread chance.

[@stormtrooperatt7713]

So a sectoid from x com ew?

[@ShadowHeartValentine]

"comfort" is the name of aphrodite's laser-guided railgun

[@kirkkerman]

Given that Da Hard Wun's movement speed is enough to put it on a pretty substantial suborbital trajectory, it could try and kill itself with re-entry heating and fall damage...

[@gerbilpanda1703]

But see, then it has to deal 7,000 damage to the planets crust/atmosphere and causes a mass extinction.

[@aldar8240]

it has unlimited movement in water, so all it really needs to do is jump into a river and then fling itself into the far reaches of space, blowing up some distant star from damage reflection but dying in the process

[@kirkkerman]

Actually, I was a couple orders of magnitude off, its base speed is probably about 200 times as much as it would need to escape the solar system

[@EdKolis]

@@gerbilpanda1703 I'm sure a planet can easily tank 7000 damage.

[@gerbilpanda1703]

@@EdKolis Mass extinctions aren't planet destroyingg. Yes, the planet would be fine, but the ecosystem he hits will die instantly

[@evronian1129]

I remember seeing Aphrodite when scrolling through D&D beyond. I thought it was so cool that it inspired me to start making monsters of my own! Of course, none are as purely broken as the Goddess, but I’d like to think they’re rather challenging.

[@theimperviousfirecracker7934]

World building Idea: The reason the world is full of so many goblins is because Da hard wun keeps summoning them and zooming away.

[@Nic2121]

I personally think the idea of Da Hard Wun could work well as an enemy variant of the Giant Purple Baby. Like the DM just uses it as a way to explain why where are suddenly goblins blocking your road. Or even expand it to make it summon other creatures.

[@legendgames128]

Railroad DMs could use that to put giant invincible pencils to block the party from going that direction.

[@CalmSanity]

The Da hard ones sounds like a fun concept for a campaign, make it so it can’t regain health so it’s killable eventually and then send the PCs on an adventure to clean up the goblin infestation.

[@nivirydthebluedragon6622]

In the goblin town campaign I was in, I now know why the goblin breeding was far faster than what should have been physocally possible, the GM was just using "da hard wun" all over the map in areas we weren't. And he wanted to call me edgy....>_>

[@Tha3l]

12:45 I imagine players being puzzled as more and more goblins appear, and they can never figure out why because da hard wun disappears immediately

[@Freekymoho]

I so wish we could know the backstory behind these things. Trying to imagine why they are the way they are is half the fun

[@Medaumplay3]

I kinda like that the tiny insects with more HP than tiamat just summons some goblins

[@austinsebben1402]

I think the in-house reasoning at D&D usually not to give gods statblocks because the idea that if something has a hit point total that says it can be killed is pretty solid reasoning, there can be avatars and such that can be beaten instead, but what’s really grinding my gears is the TEMERITY to list Aphrodite as Neutral Good when she’s more accurately be Chaotic Evil, on her Wikipedia are 3 paragraphs mentioning her divine favour, and ELEVEN paragraphs of her wrath and horrible curses and misery inflicted

[@rishitchithirala2977]

I mean it's fair to assume she's been amongst the most misrepresented

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

I'd actually put Aphrodite more into Lawful evil, because she has a very strict set of circumstances where she gives out boons and banes, all having to do with love or passion. It's just that all of humanity is driven by love and passion, so, like, uh, *she's got a lot of opportunities*.

[@astuteanansi4935]

That's pretty much just every single Greek/Roman deity in a nutshell. There are no good guys in that pantheon.

[@EG-hy9mv]

@@astuteanansi4935except Hestia. She's the bestia,and better than the restia

[@boldCactuslad]

@@astuteanansi4935 heh i see you've forgotten about goodicus, god of being good and nice and just really completely awful as the basis of plot points for the formative years of greek children in stories

[@mobgabriel1767]

i just imagine the DM with atlas bringing in those laser pointers and when he uses the atlas beam he just picks up the pointer and points up to the players

[@jagd7102]

I think the assassin was just meant as an npc for some kind of one off social encounter. Like a "the party has to protect the king at this royal ball" kind of thing.

[@isaacalien]

If you read A.T.L.A.S's Conditions ability as being when A.T.L.A.S suffers a condition from the list a random PC (it still needs a range) also incurs that condition it's actually kinda interesting.

[@Gallacant]

I like how the creator of "da hard wun" gave it an ability that reflects dmg even though realistically it is impossible to damage in the first place, assuming you hit it at all due to its speed. Classic homebrew

[@appelofdoom8211]

Nat 20s auto hit and it can still fail saving throws. But that's only if da hard wun gets into range for attacking

[@thorveim1174]

Also, magic missile can damage it. Not only does it ALWAYS hit, ignoring AC and everything else, but its force damage, which Da Hard Wun is vulnerable to. The issue would indeed be to keep it in range to attack it though, and to deal enough damage with magic missile alone without nuking yourself with the counter.

[@gmailisaretard]

I was wondering about how to catch it. I think if you put down something like Black Tentacles to grab and damage the animals as they run through. Granted a 20ft area isn't impressive but I could have made a funnel with my last Necro using my spells.

[@ItZoTom]

Da hard one fucked me up, I couldn’t stop laughing. Just picturing some random, stinky swarm appearing, plopping a shit load of goblins out, then disappearing again was taking me out.

[@FuzzyEgo]

Love how Jacob didn’t know what a serf was despite being one of the largest content creators for a medieval fantasy game 😂

[@jedh3721]

Yeah. That is a very bizarre knowledge gap for most people, let alone a medieval fantasy enthusiast.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

Has he never played The Settlers? I know it's not as big of a thing in the US, but still.

[@RoflcopterLamo]

@@TheSmart-CasualGamer Doesn’t really matter there should’ve been multiple mentions of the word serf in school or online when talking about peasents in medieval setting

[@defenderws]

I can’t help but feel like the Aphrodite homebrew must have come with some god killer weapon homebrew for the whatever campaign they were playing, so maybe it was actually very good

[@zerodegreesLTC]

The assassin has the same lethality of a Final Fantasy Tonberry with 0.01% of the damage. Also, the Aphrodite monster had me falling out laughing. _Unreal._ Insanity. I love the confidence. I need a dose of that.

[@dravenhughes3391]

The Wizard never dies... only makes a new character sheet...