You are not alone in your loneliness | Jonny Sun

Being open and vulnerable with your loneliness, sadness and fear can help you find comfort and feel less alone, says writer and artist Jonny Sun. In an honest talk filled with his signature illustrations, Sun shares how telling stories about feeling like an outsider helped him tap into an unexpected community and find a tiny sliver of light in the darkness.
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[@martlabuson]

Virtual hugs, everyone!

[@kayleehood226]

Martin Labuson ❤️❤️

[@deepikadj22verma62]

Hugs to you too :)

[@sam-xu9ol]

💚

[@saharshbehal8766]

Yah i am hugging back .... Feels like home

[@adivinci1]

🤗

[@babyboy12003]

The good part of these online spaces: Sometimes you’re lucky and you meet another alien.

[@enisnizzy2396]

And then all of a sudden they want to act human. Ugh hate humans.

[@alexanderpoplow5861]

@@enisnizzy2396 xD didn't ecpect this lol

[@amangoyal923]

I want a female 20-22 something alien to fall in love with... It's pathetic but my whole life has been a cry for help... I don't mind anymore

[@marykinuthia5780]

When you read comments, you realize you are not alone.

[@dashingmay]

Hi Mary! Hope you're having a wonderful day!

[@marykinuthia5780]

@@dashingmay thanks, hope you too.

[@arunojyakumari5139]

Literally so true hope have a good day And everyone who readsthis have a good day

[@Smile_Jojo]

thanks but i have just rejected by my most important person and it's like i have born to be hurted..i am just broken...

[@peachy1432]

Yep, I’m in this part of YT too! Cheers.

[@tfl2307]

This... This touched me so much. I've forgotten how it is like to connect with people, be it online or in real life. I am lonely and it is my fault for being so anxious. I know I should do better, but I hardly ever found people with whom I connected and helped me through my loneliness. The end made me cry, really. It hit so deep within...

[@ankavoskuilen1725]

It is not your fault that you are anxious. People are scary. Nevertheless they are all we have got. And there are a lot of good ones. Trusting yourself is the first step I think. At least it was with me. Good luck! I wish you the best!

[@bluejay5531]

this talk was extremely touching, so deep and soft...I wish you to connect, and to allow yourself to open up to all the possible connections around you, only waiting for a sign! :-)

[@tfl2307]

Thank you so much for the kind comments, it matters a lot to me. I'll try to believe in myself more, but my main fear is that I'm not interesting enough for those people and it often is that way... Cuz... I don't have much to talk about. Its like wanting to be quiet but also to connect

[@bluejay5531]

@@tfl2307 maybe you only need to connect to the people that are interested in you, and that will happen more and more, gradually when you allow yourself to open up more...you do not need to be "the life of the party" or the talkative one, it is SO RARE to meet people who can listen, give attention and care, if you really listen to others, that is such a precious quality...and the more you listen, the more you will find your own voice to express when you are ready...do not force yourself, allow yourself to be...rooting for you

[@KeepItLwky]

It hits me too. Nowadays I try to disconnect myself from social media coz it's making me anxious too, jealous, sad and alone. I don't talk much these days coz I don't know what to talk about with people. It sometimes doesn't make any sense. It's hard to connect with humans nowadays.

[@dude9551]

In my experience, talking to people online just serves as a temporary solution to loneliness-- once I switch off my device, it's just me and it makes me feel lonelier than ever. Fun times.

[@moonstruck562]

Exactly !

[@221BSam]

dude I agree completely 😔

[@Cervantesbracetty]

thats why u never switch it off

[@joshuaroger8364]

dude get a cat/dog

[@axx9149]

So glad someone understand this. You turn off the computer and you realise more than ever how nobody is there.

[@DigitalzombieDev]

"Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinkin' alone" - Billy Joel

[@gameer0037]

Politics mate, politics...

[@oliverferres2420]

One of the greatest pieces of music I know, I love listening to Piano Man by Billy Joel, even when I feel down, this gives me hope

[@DigitalzombieDev]

@@oliverferres2420 It is. But I still can't get over how old he looks with 24 in his video. ;)

[@machine15]

I just made your comment a 100 likes.

[@joemars41]

Heavy lyrics, definitely one of Billy Joel's best .

[@brokenacoustic]

"I've been with friends and I've been on my own, but I'm never lonely when I'm alone. But some people need it, someone to call home, but I'm never lonely, I'm just alone"

[@thibovandenhauwe283]

I think this is the mindset we all need in these hard times. Try to stay positive lad.

[@juliacook3254]

I am obsessed with sun’s little sketches now

[@deathballs7684]

same

[@tanviohol6807]

Never have i ever found something so relatable!! Edit: guys,these are the most no of likes i have ever gotten. Tysm!

[@ZenithZoneWellness]

Be infinite this ikr! This Ted talk was very enjoyable!

[@user-ln6ne4xe9v]

The more talking on the Internet , the more loneliness we have in real life

[@tanviohol6807]

@@user-ln6ne4xe9v Not true for me. I seek internet whenever i feel lonely

[@TartyMcfly]

This made me feel emotional and in a great way. I’ve been a huge fan of Jomny for years and to hear things that I identify with from the creator, was amazing.

[@deboratavares5625]

The most sincere talk I have ever seen in TED. Sad and beautiful. Thank you.

[@aut1976]

A very warm true virtual hug to you all

[@burgesssam]

I don't think I've ever cried after watching a TED talk until now...

[@michaelpisciarino5348]

Jonny Sun • Intimidated, Isolated, Alone • The Internet, Social Media, Meeting Friends 2:20 Mental Health conversation 3:13 Sharing your imperfection A communal thing 4:08 Short Story, jokes I’m trying my best 5:12 Enter, Lol, leave 5:30 How many people have you had your last conversation with? A growing microcommunity 7:26 The Internet also feels like a yelley, shouty place 8:50 These little moments are “tiny temporary sanctuaries” Gives a intangible hug

[@angelmusicvideos]

Blessings friend

[@yagyakakani5096]

💓

[@Sara-vn2kz]

Michael, "sanctuaries" is spelled "ies." Change it before you get spammed with corrections and then I'll delete my reply so no one knows. 😉 Thanks for posting this summary with time stamps!

[@michaelpisciarino5348]

Sara Ready to delete? Lol

[@Piyushrahi]

He did not gave any intangible hug 😑 and dumbass intangible is an accounts word you could have said virtual hug

[@louisaclarke752]

Wow, what an unbelievably beautiful TED Talk, delivered so poignantly. Thank you Jonny Sun.

[@bluejay5531]

this was such a deep, sweet, authentic and relatable talk...when we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable and wholeheartedly real, we can connect to those that are in that same space...I am profoundly touched by Jonny Sun's sensitivity and depth and will go look up his wonderful drawings/story... I have a similar experience with the internet, at times it has been my only lifeline, other times, yet another void, I feel it is a reflection of the embodied life and of our own state of mind...sending all of us who feel the loneliness healing thoughts...we are not alone and need to nurture ways to connect...

[@marwaalsayed9975]

jj=787>>8,,"5

[@hardikpande6970]

Look at the bottom-left corner of the video starting at 6:40, you'll find a heartwarming thing.

[@adrianaavila8853]

Lakshit Pande, ooh how I loved seeing that! I caught it too during the video playing. Signing is important for all persons to enjoy the talk.

[@deathballs7684]

good eye

[@deathballs7684]

a sign translator

[@anaj6263]

That’s pretty cool, good eye

[@markcaseon7136]

Abuse and harrasment is a major cause of loneliness, when people experience lot of hostility and agression, they withdraw.

[@howcanhowler4766]

having a victim mentality is the major cause of loneliness.

[@saharshbehal8766]

@@howcanhowler4766 and a victimising environment too

[@howcanhowler4766]

@@saharshbehal8766 its only a victimising environment if you have a victim mentality

[@saharshbehal8766]

@@howcanhowler4766 yeah

[@dnw009]

It doesn't help loneliness also induces your brian's self defence subconciously and makes you less able to empathize with other people and more likely to create false hostile memories when thinking about interactions you have had. One of the positive reactions your body has about the way it reacts to lonelines is that it starts showing it in our body language and behavior. Making others more easily able to notice it giving them the option to step in and try to help you.

[@Raluquita]

This speech just made it on my top 5. Love it!

[@roymerritt6992]

What a commendable sentiment. And Jonny you're quite talented.

[@ellaclaires]

The dog-walking service actually could be a brilliant idea for someone like me who suffer from debilitating clinical depression because we usually go into isolation, no close friends around, and need a lot of motivation to even brush our teeth

[@nosolar2023]

I agree! But how would we get it going??

[@adrianaavila8853]

What do you do for work? How do you make money if you don’t mind me asking? I’m wondering is all.

[@saharshbehal8766]

I agree .... But wait what did i just say...?

[@anaj6263]

I agree, clinical depression is really rough

[@derekstark6612]

The world needs more people like Jonny Sun!!!

[@wittydolphin]

*A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone. - Mandy Hale*

[@sadf8ce]

I feel the exact opposite thing. I used to be lonely for such a long time, and I didn't feel like it gave me anything. I think it's just one of the most terrible states that you could be in, it's almost like depression. Now that I'm out of that, is the time I can see myself even start to improve my life, before I just wanted to die.

[@leoncat8591]

I watched 15 seconds and pressed pause, i looked around in my car because i'm homeless and live in my car and said," Yes, i am ALONE in my lonelinss." There maybe other lonely people who are lonely, but i am Alone in MY loneliness. Now lets see what this TED talk is about. Could not finish, being alone in cambridge uni is scarey and daunting, but being alone with depressiom, anxiety and being a social out cast because an ex felon and have no family. Well, that's an aloneness that death can only cure. Till then ytube keeps me busy, cuz it is what it is. Loneliness Zen is what i practice.🙏

[@stringsnare]

Sorry to hear that. Is it possible to volunteer or get a job that pays under the table? Praying for you

[@leoncat8591]

@@stringsnare thank u for ur prayers. Every year i try to better myself as society allows. Hope to get funding from VA to get a career and not just a job. As a felon in cal. I try to volunteer to walk dogs at animal shelter but no due to record. At least i try. Till i die, i help or compliment at least one person a day. The butterfly effect. I thank you for ur thoughts, Leo🙏

[@eka8271]

leon cat as one wise man once said: Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not. We are never alone, Leo. Bless you!

[@stringsnare]

@@leoncat8591 dont stop trying...check this sitr fiverr. Do you have access to a computer? You need a crappy laptop with a wifi connection in a library, you could do some VA work on fiverr to start??

[@dragonflies6793]

Why does this not have more views? This is wonderful

[@bhoomiv7879]

This speech comforted me a lot.

[@hehehe4168]

Man, that was nice. It explains what he was going through when writing his book. Also, for those who didn't know he has a book titled ”everyone’s an Aliebn when ur a Aliebn too”. It's has a lot more relatable things that everyone feels or thinks

[@luisemiliogonzalezberbel2520]

Very insightful, particularly the inflatable castle metaphor was really good imo. Kinda describes some thoughts that I didn't have words for. Thanks.

[@rosepurdy6301]

This is the vision for the net we should all be manifesting 💚💚💚🌍 thankyou! And yes, for the record, me too.

[@keithbell9348]

What a wonderful presentation Mr. Sun shares which confirms this point: The greatest cure to loneliness, is to reach out and do something for others.

[@saharshbehal8766]

I deal with loneliness just by playing with some stray dogs who roam in my area ... They are very well familiar to me and my family... I love being with them and they do back too..

[@221BSam]

I love this! really struggling with loneliness lately, people just don’t like me, it’s always been that way but it just feels awful right now. I have no friends, all ‘real’ people just reject me, thank-you for this uplifting talk Jonny 😊

[@saharshbehal8766]

Same here pal...hey everyone in the comment section is same as me i wanna talk to them all...you wanna talk ...?

[@_bffr]

I will be your friend :)

[@shwetalohar2997]

@@saharshbehal8766 I wanna talk I really wanna talk

[@saharshbehal8766]

@@shwetalohar2997 okay count me in ehe

[@shwetalohar2997]

@@saharshbehal8766 how are ya man Very nice to see ya

[@4180birk]

The Day will be what you make it, so rise, like the sun, and burn. When The Sun is shining I can do anything: no mountain is too high, no trouble too difficult to overcome. No sun outlasts its sunset, but will rise again And bring the dawn. Never be afraid to shine. Remember, the sun doesn't care a bit if it blinds you. You Be The Sun, I'll be the moon- Just let your light come shining through; and when night comes, just like the moon. I'll shine the light right back to you.

[@Ethan-ml4dx]

This was beautiful :’)

[@mohddanish7209]

This is the most relatable video I have ever seen....

[@nancyanih1016]

I saw this talk in 2020 and I could relate to it. i just didn't think i'd still relate in 2022.

[@GuyWithoutHobbies]

This is just so beautiful

[@kristyngoodwin]

I needed this. Thank you, Jonny!!!

[@SangMism]

This touched me so much....

[@ceciliaip295]

i love your book so so so much. i’m really happy you did a tedtalk

[@regentanz7364]

I want to give someone a hug.

[@rikallan2983]

That's true Genevieve, it would be easier if we all had friends to talk to but as he had brought up therapy he clearly has the means to do so.

[@itmedana]

i just love this man so much

[@zanzan3.096]

I gratefull found this video.

[@user-rt6yx3qo5n]

This is my favorite ted talk ever

[@juliewigner6549]

Very well said. Thank you.

[@SkyyRadioFM]

Imaginary hug to everyone

[@n.ora1]

if y'all enjoy this ted talk I recommend his book of essays, reflections and sketches - "Goodbye, Again". so good.

[@karenshields7549]

This is one of the best Ted talks that I have seen. Thank you Jonny. You blessed my life.

[@istanbulbeyefendisi1410]

thank you for this video

[@themanwithnoname.5625]

I've never fitted in,found one real friend in 46yrs but life took us to opposite sides of the planet. My advice would be to try and find a routine for yourself, that doesn't need others, that's as positive as possible. You can build from there if needed.

[@adrianaavila8853]

The man with no name., What do you do for work? I’m just curious, don’t feel pressure to answer but I’m intrigued and want to know.

[@themanwithnoname.5625]

@@adrianaavila8853 I'm not proud to admit I'm unemployed due to mental health. Depression, anxiety, insomnia etc.

[@joywilliams4014]

The man with no name. Hi ...i find I feel the same way. I’m unemployed due to depression and anxiety and don’t know how to connect with anyone who understands the fear and pain of it and how to get back into life.

[@themanwithnoname.5625]

@@joywilliams4014 I hear you,it's very hard for people to understand or have the patience to try. I often feel like I wasn't meant to be here(on earth) lol. Exercise can help a little,even when done indoors.

[@joywilliams4014]

The man with no name. I also feel I’m not for this world. It’s always seemed so empty for me and a struggle. Fight or flight mode wears you down and I’m sure fucks up your brain long term. Ive watched tons of utube vids and ted talks. trying to find comfort or in hopes of coming across something that might positively impact me. I know I’m a good person and vital underneath all the garbage and even know where some of my problems stem from...but I’m just in a super stuck state right now. Having no health insurance doesn’t help either. Not that I want to be thrown pills either. I just need to find loving people to resonate with.

[@letmeoff6447]

Best advice I ever recieved... 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you pathetic worm.' I'm not being cruel... It worked for me.

[@TheRaccoonboy]

He's precious..

[@shahrzadmab9442]

oh god.... that's a relief that i am not alone with my loneliness 🙂

[@dramaqueen8973]

His speech so perfect. Very good. I excited 😊😊😊😊

[@divyamurugesan5557]

Exactly that was the reason why I created my new FB two days back. :) ☺️

[@authorlynndavis]

Thank you

[@oriolez5582]

great talk and his illustrations are fascinating

[@paulhanitsch2914]

I just moved to a new country month ago. Hole video is about me, amazing!

[@blessy7312]

Why am I crying while hearing this.....

[@benn1778]

The small little moments that make us feel connect are the ones that affirm our lives (Jonny Sun said something like that)

[@ajaynair7304]

This defines definition of Life

[@GeneTheWinter]

I'm from a small town in the middle of nowhere, sitting alone in my bedroom, trying to improve my English to be able to get in touch with you in this communal space. I don't feel lonely because I know there are so many great people like you out there. You know, I'm going to become a dad soon and I'm a bit worried because I don't want my daughter (probably :) ) to think she'll be on thin ice when she's using the Internet. Technology and the Internet is the future but I just hope we can stop misusing them and start sharing love and friendship. I for one am trying to stifle my anger and to be more patient day after another and I hope the day comes when we all bounce on that inflatable castle with sheer bliss.

[@nerdygirl430]

This is such a sweet and touching speech ~😍

[@jackielynnfoster8656]

Thank You for this Video! 💪🙏👍

[@osse1n]

No one is really alone, it's just a perception of the mind. *A mindset.* Humans are symbiotic creatures. If you want company - create VALUE for others.

[@joyjoyoo]

O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me 👏🏻👏🏻

[@SaiyukiGS]

even when you feel you are valueless and will never make up any value for anyone (including yourself)?

[@sweetsexypickles]

You've never been lonely, I assume.

[@ashleycorp349]

ODA MAE Thought the same. This is just bullshit

[@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385]

Easier said then done kiddo

[@Alex-uc4bd]

Internet = Emotional distance...

[@kumstayne4884]

I have never had a place to call home. Be it a family or a place. This hurts a lot

[@kamwrr]

i’m so in love with these little cartoons :) made my day.

[@annasitorus17]

The tiny silver of light ... When you made up together, it would be something... The improtant thing is to hold on someone's hand and throw away the loneliness.. Good video.. 😇😇

[@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385]

Well said.

[@ceciliaspears161]

Definitely going to have to share this one! =O

[@michelledawson566]

This was a great topic,the gentleman talking is a great speaker 💕🇦🇺🌈🦋x

[@deepsaha6676]

Finally found the Artist of TED ED

[@julynatalia7439]

Amazing story telling 😍.

[@deepakgaba2786]

This talk was so good!

[@rickharold69]

Nice, thanks for sharing!

[@ogredwing]

If I was capable of reaching out to someone I already would have.

[@gameer0037]

I... liked that comment. Not because I adore it's content, but because I share your fate. At least thats something we are'nt "alone"...

[@elen3638]

loneliness is a weapon and it can be a source of my happines. thats my ultimate mantra

[@saharshbehal8766]

Wasn't that confusing

[@amiralozse1781]

what a nice guy!

[@Sara-vn2kz]

"They give us life!" I stan a professional adult using internet speak in a professional setting! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@adrianaavila8853]

😂 😂 😂

[@catalyst1738]

Online community makes it easy to connect with people, on the other hand, it’s also easy to disperse. We gather for mere reasons, so do we leave. In reality we don’t do this often, since the reason to join/leave always triggers another. We tend to be stable in real life, also find it unstable online. That’s called lonely, since we trust something perfect could work, however the more we get into both, the more limitations we find. Which is why we should cherish every time we gather, since we don’t know so much, and we are likely to go onto our own futures alone.

[@Leoancy]

Externalizing the internal. Wow..... Me too alone in my room coz of work. But I too started to comment in KZbin. I too got likes n replies. So am not alone too. Thanks for the wonderful sharing.

[@rowenang6761]

I love this Ted talk ❤️

[@jezzermeii]

I look forward to the end of my life; to see whether there is a beginning to my end, or an end to my beginning. Of course, I must admit that there's a lot of fear to that concept too. It's a very odd sensation, contemplating the beginning of my ending (or not).

[@sethwells3301]

i am with you bro

[@jameslingard4117]

This was such a great book

[@ireneguan4010]

I really thank God for having a supportive and understanding parents that will never make you feel that you are alone. Believe me, it’s more relaxing and relieve telling your parents/family how your day went, even how broken you are or how lonely you are. Yes we may have this we call circle of friends yet sometimes their attention and connection with them is temporary and you may not also feel their emotional support, which is totally different story when sharing things with your family.

[@saharshbehal8766]

I hate getting things ultra emotional with my family .... I am tired of it

[@user-vn7ce5ig1z]

This is the cruel iron of the situation. 🤦 Hanging out online is okay, but it's not a real substitute for companionship in real life. We need more/better (online) resources for people to find each other in real life, but unfortunately even then, it's not always going to work because not everyone lives in a large metropolis with lots of options, finding companions in small towns is much harder. :-\

[@saharshbehal8766]

Even vice versa ..... Being in a small town its really hard to find someone in a totally different atmos .... Also to mention the time zones .... What i have figured is that all you need to find a resonating personality ... Who respects your level ,your effort , your feelings...if he/she does,there you go you have found a companion who is indifferent to all the oppositions and supports you and gets back support being stronger and better...i am still lookin' huh found someone but ofcourse due to age and time differences we couldn't commute ... I went to the void found someone and got left too soon..

[@aleenatj5360]

This is exactly what I am going through...!

[@millenabatista215]

a masterpiece.

[@deeb3272]

Im lonely so I watched this vid about loneliness.

[@revibify]

I'm not sure if this will help anyone, but I've made a playlist of comforting background sounds of a woman humming as she does daily things (vacuuming, blow drying her hair, cooking, etc.) I hope it helps!

[@soonny002]

It was a heartwarming talk, but if you're lonely and shouting into the void of the internet, you usually attract INCELS and TROLLS. The internet takes away the fundamental aspect of human connection, and that is body language. Under the veil of anonymity and digital information, misunderstandings are bound to happen, hostile feelings are bound to be triggered, and ALL you need is one troll, one person who derives joy out of other people's suffering (schadenfreude), to ruin it all. Jonny is optimistic because he's more charming than he knows, especially with his cartoons. That's his 'body language' on the internet, thus, he may have had more success than other lonely people. Yet, not everybody knows how to be charming like him. If you're lonely and yelling into the void, do your best to convey your 'body language' so you don't attract the wrong crowd. That can be in the form of art, storytelling, music, or anything you feel you can give to others as a gift. DO NOT just tell your story and leave it at that, remember the INCELS and TROLLS. You are already starting from a vulnerable position and there are hate groups out there who would love a piece of you. Take care.

[@DigitalzombieDev]

Thank you for speaking what I always had on the back of my mind but just couldn't grasp it. Emoticons between text passages are not enough. Now I know that I should search for my personal "digital body language"

[@ligiaarcurisimoes917]

This was a great addition to the speech. One of the best online comment I’ve ever read.

[@linhchu8336]

I love your comment so much^^. I feel like I've really got an intimate n' useful advice from my closet buddy. Also from above speech n' your suggestion I realise no one can't suffer loneliness n' isolation at a time all around the world but most important thing is that we can definitely dispel all of them by SHARING even with a total stranger in a close n' easy-to-access way. Once again thanks ×1000 times for your beautiful com😘.

[@evolve101]

Most are positive and not trolls. But use the Meetup app instead. Write, and meet new people instead. ;)

[@dark_architect1644]

There is definently a huge difference when you meet someone in person

[@younesourbya6068]

Inspirational!

[@nicidevine6670]

I am alone at times but not lonely !!!

[@ellw7830]

Johnny Sun DOES IT AGAIN

[@VidVoyeur612]

Love that book.

[@bsbznumber1fan]

Never related to anything as much as i related to this😢

[@SaiyukiGS]

the only thing this talk did was make me feel even lonelier than ever. lol.

[@Vampirebear13]

I'm hip!!!!!! Nothing like seeing somebody so totally clueless to make a person even more depressed. :-(

[@paulhanitsch2914]

It is because he gave you the solution. And you know that you’re only at first step :)

[@sogghartha]

same

[@celinehosea]

His book, "Goodbye, again" is so good! Highly, highly recommend if you loved his TED Talk.

[@mikii2001]

Actually seeking about all mental health related stuff coz I'm a bit isolated in my society, what's more my best online friend ignores me, what makes me both mad, sad and alone at the same time. Time to listen to the wiser people, and work out all of it :)

[@tanyahwang1694]

I’m so alone, staying in this gigantic world.

[@mooksdfe]

No, sweetie, I'm with you, have a hug :)

[@tanyahwang1694]

Yasir Arsanukaev Merci :3