You Can't Have a Trad Wife and Also Ask Her to Pay For Dates...

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[@afgyhujkj4765]

Woman here: Back when I was dating - any time I went out with a business type guy - once the card hit the bill, they felt they had the right to touch me anywhere they wanted - even if I offered to split and they said "no". Once we left the table, the expectations and touching only escalated...they felt I owed them, so now not putting out was me "stealing" from them - it got scary a few times.

[@blah204]

Damn I’m sorry to hear that. If a chick is trying to split the bill she is obviously not gonna put out. Those business dudes just feel entitled to everything

[@stephencrawford2803]

@@blah204 It depends on the individual woman. My current long time girlfriend wanted to split the bill and we hooked up on the first date. Turns out some women like being treated like an equal in a relationship.

[@TwoForFlinchin1]

@@blah204 the math aint mathin here

[@blah204]

@@stephencrawford2803 for sure. She sounds like a nice lady.

[@blah204]

@@TwoForFlinchin1 date+no pay= you are playing the skin flute

[@Ajhello1983]

You don't ask a woman out and then WAIT UNTIL THE BILL COMES TO SAY YOU WANT HER TO PAY HALF. If splitting the bill is important to you then say that when you ask her for the date. Then you and her can decide if it makes sense to go out. Saves both of you alot of time.

[@skyysame6391]

If she orders more than he does and they split the bill then hes still paying more than his portion. She still gets more benefit out of it. Imo they should pay for what they order. Not even split

[@lizcollinson2692]

​@@skyysame6391honestly unless someone is ordering things excessively out of proportion just split it, mithering is just petty. Honestly if you're really short, no worries but you need to be upfront. Women aren't mind readers, society has given us mixed messages about this and if you have red lines you need to give notice.

[@HauntedCadaver]

If you are broke the just say it

[@skyysame6391]

@@lizcollinson2692 it holds people accountable for what they decide to purchase. Ill pay for the meal or do half or any combination after the 1st or 2nd date if Im rly interest but for people on the first date where they want to dine out and not pay a cent arent pulling that trick if everyone pays their portion on the first date. you can see if theyre second date worthy after that to pay for their meal or split

[@skyysame6391]

@@HauntedCadaver ok mr "You get talent when you discover the ground of your pain." Im sure you pull a lot with shit like that floating around your profiles

[@haloeightYT]

It was very polite of her to state exactly why she was upset as soon as he started secretly recording

[@Nyanx4]

I know, right? I too wait patiently until the record button has been hit to have my rage-bait freakouts.

[@neil2444]

@@Nyanx4 In fact. If I didn't know any better, I would say it was staged. That is, if I didn't know any better, surely that's not the case. /s

[@andreymontag]

​@@neil2444 I see, you'd think it's staged because it's incredibly creepy to actually record this. Tho staging those isn't that much of a green flag

[@atropa6053]

Can i safely say i have schizoid traits if i don't understand why anyone goes out for a meal even if its free? Fancy places nonetheless, i would legit turn down a hundred bucks to go eat there for free. Do people just do it because they want to have sex or feel alone?

[@JaceDeanLove]

​@@andreymontag green flag?

[@BrandonPilcher]

I saw the Click poke fun at a similar type of guy in one of his videos once. The dude was telling a woman in Facebook DMs that he wanted a "traditional, feminine woman" who did all the housework, but when the woman told him that meant he'd have to bring home all the bread, he accused her of being a gold-digger. Those losers expect women to do all the work at home and half of it outside.

[@firas1938]

'No, women shouldn't work or leave the house ever! But also, women should share all the bills!' -> Idk where these guys expect women to get the money to do that, honestly. Is she supposed to get a bank loan everytime they go out for dinner??

[@HarryDirtay]

I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Loneleeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy😂

[@sandpiperr]

Oh it's so very common for the same SM guy who rants about feminisim ruining relationships and wanting to go back to traditional gender roles, and how he could never date a woman who makes more money than him, and how women need to let the man be the protector and provider and not emasculate him and usurp is role...to also rant about "gold diggers." It's almost as if it's not actually about wanting to return to some fictional past where the man made the money and the woman stayed home, and is just misogyny! /s

[@LoneWulf278]

@@firas1938 Tbh, It’s what they expect because for the past 4-5 decades, women HAVE been doing two jobs at once. Now, everything is being re-negotiated and people are trying to go back to gender roles. But some men are celebrating too soon. They are probably less prepared than they think they are. Being the sole breadwinner in this economy is hard. 😬 I think both genders are being unrealistic.

[@firas1938]

@@LoneWulf278 Yeah, there's no way you can support a household, even WITHOUT kids, with just one paycheck. Men would have to spend 16+ hour shifts like our great-grandfathers did and they still wouldn't get paid enough. Plus the fantasy that women were just housewives was untrue for most even in the 50s that both genders idolize so much. You're absolutely right about both genders being unrealistic - they want the comforts without all the struggles

[@carmeld45]

She dodged a bullet. Don't ask a woman out if you can't pay.. Its funny men expect you to give up your body, and possibly lose your life to pregnancy for some nachos.

[@rowantic6539]

Those men think women have less worth than prostitues.

[@anebiz]

Hey, firestartes everywhere.😊😊😊

[@KufLMAO]

Why does this have so many likes, what the fuck. This is just tradcon shit

[@thelifeofmaryd.2494]

They shouldn't, but they still do. Thats why i dont get offended or argue. I get my wallet out and get lost.🤷🏾‍♀️

[@coaxill4059]

Oh my fucking god the million things wrong with this simple sentence. First off, a date does not mean sex. Perhaps if you haven't been on many dates you see it as a simple procedure, but let's be real; if you want to pay for sex, there are plenty of women who can do that without all the pageantry. Second, give up her body? So if we fuck, and she's not on birth control, and she's not gonna take plan b, and she's not gonna ask me to wear a rubber, and she's not gonna say any of that, my getting her pregnant is solely my fault, and thus I should compensate her in advance? Nah, doesn't work like that. Never has, never will. I am responsible for my body, you are responsible for yours. That's how this all works. If you don't want to fuck, then don't. You are not doing me a favor by sleeping with me, at least not any more than I'm doing a favor for you. This man sucks, but frankly he's the one who dodged a bullet. If you're not happy to pay for food you ate when no agreement to the contrary precedes, you're an entitled parasite. This is true regardless of gender.

[@NatsumiTakanawa]

I hate when guys only set boundaries for petty misogynistic reasons, as opposed to something like personal safety and self-respect. Like, my guy, if you want to split the bill and she gets mad, that's directly letting you know that she's not the one for you. You don't have to turn that into a bash all woman party. There will be women who are not great to you. Just set boundries and move on to the next person if someone breaks them. If you don't like it, then help to break BS "traditional gender roles".

[@NebulaSon]

Most women are like this and expect the man to pay for everything. We have the right to be annoyed by this entitledment. Women express missandry all the time, nobody ever cares. Tell women to stop bashing men on Twitter.

[@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj]

@@NebulaSonAs if it's someones obligation to tell some random twitter users to relax with the bigotry

[@NebulaSon]

@@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj Yes it is. Everybody here is taking the opportunity to criticize a random man from TikTok to stop hating women just for showing what most women do. So yes, I expect the same energy for women who hate on men

[@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj]

@@NebulaSonAnti feminists and right wing concern tr0lls sound like crybabies

[@sub-harmonik]

The fact that 'it's letting you know she's not the one for you' isn't exclusive with drawing attention to a problematic mindset. you prescribe for him to 'help break BS traditional gender roles' but when he makes a video illustrating a common way women participate in propagating those roles through judgement and expectations you consider it 'petty' and 'misogynistic'.

[@rainbowkrampus]

Bezos should pay.

[@kaitlyn3168]

Twitch sub!

[@Criticalthinking788.]

Bae zohs

[@GokuVHomosexualThoughts]

Bezos mandated trad wives

[@eh1600]

Date tax on billionaires when

[@Spacey_key]

I support this message

[@JackH_123]

Saying “you sure you can afford this?” on a first date has gotta be one of the funniest things ever

[@uninstaller2860]

He didn't even know he was participating in a date lol

[@kakyointhemilfhunter4273]

He did say he thought it was a casual dine/hangout to be fair

[@uninstaller2860]

@@kakyointhemilfhunter4273 She picked the place

[@robocapy6045]

if they were coworkers then he probably had a decent idea of whether she actually could which is even better 💀

[@ryanthompson3737]

​@@robocapy6045Not really, especially in the US. In Canada, my mom works with a property director that takes the bus to work and is a lot more than just quirky. My mom makes around $60,000 and her boss makes around $65,000 - $70,000 per year.... turns out, that my mother didn't know that her publically funded organization would be on the sunshine list (a list of any public or publically funded employee making over $100,000 per year). I told her about it, and she decided to look up this quirky women. Turned out on 2022 she was making $112,000 with $4000 worth of benefits... and she's taking a bus to work. If that wasn't a surprise, my mother was curious about the raises given out, and found out that, in 2023, this women went from $112,000 to $141,000 in salary with nearly $150,000 in benefits.... compared to my mother's tiny bump in Income. To say it pissed her off is an understatement. She works in social housing, and the market is SOOO bad that her house and lifestyle is actually worse than some of the tenants she works with. So while she struggles to pay the bills, people on social assistance get better living than her without work AND her organization is handing out 26%+ raises to directors. Even the executive director is getting paid... 37.3% raise in 2018 and then another 17% raise for 2023 with raises between 2% and 8% between them. Went from $102,000 and $4000 in benefits in 2017 to making $190,000 and $219,000 in benefits for 2023. Dude nearly doubled his salary in 6 years while my mother, for the last 3 years, hasn't seen much of any raises.

[@dusklvr]

If you want a traditional woman you have to be a traditional man

[@Houtont]

"All these kids want an old school bitch but nobody wants to be an old school man." - My Aunt

[@KufLMAO]

But the guy in the video never said he wanted a traditional woman, I don’t understand what vaush’s problem with him is. I would have handled it the same way.

[@katystrawberry8654]

Most women think they want to be a traditional wife yet when it comes down to it they complain on the internet about how their man works 12 hours of hard labor a day yet won't come home and help them cook and clean. All first dates should be a coffee or a walk. No one should feel like they need to shell out 50 bucks for someone they don't know.

[@samij6071]

Very few men now are working 12 hard hours of any job - let alone physical labor. ​@@katystrawberry8654

[@solaris5922]

@@katystrawberry8654 bro, not the “most women” when about half of them also work the same amount of hours as their husbands while also doing the majority of household cleaning and childcare. You sound slow. 💀

[@classiclife7204]

"I want a tradwife!" "Also, pay half!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@sookendestroy1]

When you yearn for a trad wife but are fiscally liberal

[@wongwong1517]

"Y-you w-w-ant a woman who isn't u-useless for once....? HOW DARE YOU YOU FUCKING SCROTE GIVE HER YOUR BANK ACCOUNT INFO IMMEDIATELY!!1!!" Throw some more tantrums. See if anyone cares. Reiterating the same narcissism and abuse and exploitation that men are trying to avoid is just going to turn them into *actual* misogynists.

[@steviejohnson378]

Oh gosh you’re such a simp. Some women do this to get free meals.

[@djregina6897]

PAY HALF THE BILLS but you do all the chores

[@dericmederos1514]

I wish someone would make a vid of what a trad wife is vs what these manosphere fools believe a tradwife is.

[@izyco80]

In Mexican culture if you ask a person out you are paying even if it's your friend if you say hey let's go to this restaurant you're implying that you're going to pay.

[@uninstaller2860]

Is there any situation where you split or pay for your own meal?

[@Butterflyyyxoxo]

Not just in Mexican circles I was raised that way too it is good manners.

[@uninstaller2860]

@@Butterflyyyxoxo I think it's bad manners that there is a cost to eat with a friend

[@leehalloway8787]

Exactly. Otherwise you would have to ask your friend what he can afford at the moment.

[@depaul1115]

I lived in Mexico for a year (study abroad) and that's exactly what I saw, except that the expectation was on everyone and not only men. Whenever a Mexican girl asked me out she would always pay and expect me to pick up the next one. In Mexico City and at U.S.-Mexico border towns though, it seems like splitting the check is becoming more common with the younger generation.

[@John-hz8xy]

I thought it went without saying that if you want a traditional wife, you need to be the traditional husband, i.e. be the breadwinner of the family, buy her things, etc. Or that if you want a non-traditional wife, you need to be "non-traditional" as well.

[@loveandjoy810]

Be a trad wife if you want but be careful. In the beginning of my marriage I was finishing nursing school and my husband already had a job, I accidentally scratched his car and he went off. He was like “ All you’re going to say is you are sorry! Can you pay to get the scratch fixed? No you can’t.” It hurt me deeply. Now that I work and have my own money; his tune completely changed. He knows I can pay for just about anything AND I can also leave any time and perfectly fine financially. Money is power and freedom. I could never be a trad wife. If you want to know how we do our finances. We have 1 joint account that pays our bills but otherwise live completely separate financial lives. My mother was left destitute after divorce. That will NEVER be me.

[@Ell-te7ix]

Well personally I think you missed a whole lesson. How he treats you when you are powerless is who he is. I just hope for all that 50/50 you are doing, EVERYTHING SINGLE THING IN THE HOUSE is also 50/50 down to carrying the emotional and mental load

[@riareed1269]

Personally, after getting financially secure, I would’ve left. Could never be attracted after that car incident. Imagine if you got terminally ill or disabled, I couldn’t trust him.

[@thepanda9782]

​@Ell-te7ix yeah...Like girly... People hate on the trad wives for being 'delusional' (which fair some are). But the real issue is the men who are so hateful of women, and honestly just bad people at their core, who take advantage

[@thepanda9782]

I don't want to be with a man who would be hateful like that when I'm in a vulnerable position. I wouldn't do that to them & I expect the same 🤷 it's just mean.

[@cottonhairedaesthetic2005]

You stayed? 😮

[@edvard-swift3645]

Yeah I've never got the new misogynist so women are supposed to be quiet housewives who also as to work and also have to pay for their food bills but can't have their own opinion and do all the housework while accepting you for your low income or you're not having a job

[@laurennelson3918]

Women in the past had to accept doing all the house work and laboring in the fields/ husbands profession but it was a bit more balanced as the men actually had to work to keep the roof from caving in and the walls from collapsing on top of chopping firewood and potentially going to war and dying. The modern equivalent would require they pay all the rent/mortgage, anything that needs maintenance that isn’t just typical cleaning like faucets and car repairs, and go fight in a war if the coin flipped to simulate the unstable social climate of that time has heads up.

[@ChristinaFromYoutube]

​@@laurennelson3918suburban women stayed home. Poor women have always worked. That's why every photo of a turn of the century factory is just all women.

[@carrieduvall4579]

Oh and letting them “lead” and put him as the head household when he won’t work my ex deeply resented having to work and made sure to punish me everyday for it. Nah.

[@bowwing333]

You don't date a trad woman. You ask their parents for permission to be be able to then ask permission to the woman to begin to court them. The concept of dating is very modern.

[@magischzwei]

I would respect it more if they could at least walk the walk they're proposing. Still gross and outmoded but at least internally consistent. Instead, this.

[@Jasonsmith-sr1ke]

Yea I was just gonna say. Dating isn’t trad at all.

[@Lambda_Ovine]

you just trade the dad a cow and two sheep for his 16 yo daughter like in the old traditional days

[@somedudeok1451]

Tradcons don't even care about tradition. They only care about possessing women as an extention of their masculinity.

[@titandarknight2698]

Assume, by trad wife they mean stay at home mom.

[@kayjeffs3741]

I remember I had a guy do that to me once. Asked me out and even oucked the restaurant. When the bill came he wanted to split it. I didn't contest or argue or anything...but he was instantly friendzoned and I moved on with no explanation. He spent the next few years asking me why I chose another guy over him... Ladies...always take enough cash with you to cover your own meal...if a man tries this with you and you're not ok with it, don't argue, just move on in silence.

[@KufLMAO]

So he had told you he wanted a trad woman? Because the whole point of this video is the hypocrisy of a man wanting his woman to fulfill stereotypical gender roles while not following them himself. But a lot of comments (like this one) seem like they’re just shitting on men splitting the bill when that is a perfectly normal thing in a modern relationship. Also weird that you wouldn’t address it directly with him. I think he would say that he’s not into bullshit traditional gender roles and expecting you to pay your share when you both work and have no dependency on each other is pretty fuckin outdated. Personally I like to pay for my friends when we go out, but I wouldn’t do it for someone I just met.

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

@@KufLMAO others were smart enough to ignore you but I’ll take the bait. Whether or not this guy wanted a trad wife isn’t the issue. It sounds like this commenter wanted a “trad man”. You don’t have to agree with her but you weren’t going out with her and your question about what the man told her about what kind of wife he wanted are irrelevant. Also, she doesn’t owe him an explanation. She felt they were incompatible and that is that. He is being a pest asking for an explanation when he will probably argue with her explanation. This will not change her mind and will only waste both their time. He should move on.

[@KufLMAO]

@@AngelaMastrodonato yeah, he will argue with it because traditional gender roles are fucking stupid and it’s unbelievably passive-aggressive and petty on her part. I can’t believe I have to spell this out under a literal Vaush video. Fine if she wants that kind of relationship, but I’d prefer a society where equality is the default. You shouldn’t have to explain why you want to contribute evenly to a relationship, but if someone wants something more asymmetrical it is perfectly reasonable to want to know why. The two are not equivalent and acting like they are is disingenuous. She wasn’t simply saying the relationship wasn’t right for her, she is clearly judging him for it. There is a difference. And yes, this is bait being ignored, because everything you disagree with is bait, and if 8 hours have passed after you leave a comment that means everyone must be ‘ignoring’ you, because the world revolves around you. You totally sound like someone who has a healthy relationship with social media 🤡

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

@@KufLMAO no, men and women can reject each other and don’t owe the other an explanation. Period

[@djlivvy46]

​@@KufLMAO- the problem is that men only want to challenge these 'outdated gender roles' when it comes to spending money on a date and having s*x. They are perfectly happy with these roles when it comes to everything else, particularly housework and childcare.

[@pennyjpie]

Men that want a “stay at home” wife but don’t have “stay at home” money. My Dad used to tell me a man who didn’t want to pay for the first date was called a “Jigalow”. I’m so tired of all these manosphere “men”. I actually was raised “traditional.” I was told by my parents that the man should pay for the first date, open doors for me, walk me to my car, even pump the gas. I personally think that I like those things but also I believe in 50/50. But that’s what I was taught by my traditional parents. These are the expectations I was taught in my black southern household and honestly, I still have them and I did find a man who does all those things for me (but also I love buying dinner and gifts too, we both happen to be “givers”) I live in LA now and when I was dating hardly any man is like this. Which is ok, that’s why you should date someone with the same values as you. But like then they expect a “trad” girl but don’t want to put out like a “trad” man. If I was going out and wanted a traditional lifestyle, why would I go out with a cheapskate scrub of a man who won’t even value the women he’s courting enough to pay for her freakin appetizer?? The fuck? If you want a women who’s gonna be happy to live at home and take care of your kids, then you need to put out like a real man. But they don’t want to put out.

[@stanislav328]

Absolutely, I live in a country where 50/50 is the standard, and I really like it this way. The ''traditional'' way of doing things makes me very uncomfortable and I'm glad to almost never encounter people that are firm believers in it. with all that said, if you want a ''traditional'' relationship, you better be paying for everything as the man, absolutely absurd to expect otherwise.

[@KufLMAO]

it’s spelled gigolo

[@steph6109]

These men dont even have a home

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

@@lisamari941agreed. It sounds like in the US at least, 50/50 is never really 50/50, it’s 70/30 with the woman giving 70 by carrying the invisible load of getting Christmas and birthday gifts for family members, etc

[@katystrawberry8654]

I also see woman that have a traditional provider man that works long hours at a hard job and want them to help them cook and clean. It goes both ways.

[@kalins4301]

Yes, the fact that poorly acted ragebait and bro podcasts will leave an entire generation of men unable to talk to women is something that i think about constantly. It's kind of sad to see men clamoring for people who want to exploit them and leave them emotionally stunted.

[@DimaRakesah]

What amazes me is how these guys worship the "alpha male" without realizing that pushing for this hierarchy means their beta asses will just end up on the bottom anyway.

[@arianbyw3819]

Also, that kind of rage can leave a woman dead.

[@Iheartmefr]

@@arianbyw3819 already has sadly.

[@tevenpowell8023]

As a Bisexual man, I can definitively say that deciding who pays is way easier with two men. No dancing around gender roles, we just arm wrestle for it.

[@Shadowcam00]

Biggest cock tops, and the top pays for food. Simple

[@Beeg_Boy]

Damn fr, I gotta get myself some free dinners

[@ArgDu]

Is it heteronormative to expect the top to pay? One could argue that the bottom pays in another way.

[@tevenpowell8023]

@@ArgDu Well, if they're a Power-Bottom they'd naturally win the arm wrestling anyway.

[@zuiop9993]

That's not fair, I would always lose. Still wouldn't date guys I could beat ;)

[@shylapollard5165]

What upsets me about men doing this. Is i know for a FACT he didn't say anything to her about splitting bill BEFORE they went on a date. It's a set up. Idk why men can't be honest so they can be rejected before y'all waste y'all time.

[@coaxill4059]

I think it's pretty firmly her responsibility to say "I will eat food, but I will not pay for it." What's dishonest is ordering and eating something then expecting someone else to pay for your choice. Would you accept that in any other circumstance?

[@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj]

@@coaxill4059Are u against feminism

[@dawnelder9046]

He is the male version of the gym girls that wear skimpy clothing, record it and complain when men look. Same type of person. She dodged a bullet.

[@charlotteschnook1351]

It's pretty firmly HIS responsibility to say: "I just want to use you for free sex and domestic labor. I won't do anything for you, at all, what so ever, just take."

[@coaxill4059]

@@prettyglowin694 This isn't a problem I have. I'm going to be abundantly clear up front, maybe even double check when ordering. There has been no pattern to who paid either. Men, women, tops, bottoms, there is no "default." Just saying, people paying for their own food is always a safe assumption and if not specified otherwise it's the norm. Now, I've gone on some expensive dates, but I am admittedly working class. Maybe if you're rich or in a conservative area there's some weird standard you need to follow, but not anywhere I've been or want to be.

[@croc2112]

God should pay on the first date

[@WilliamBrowning]

The very first date I ever went on, the priest paid for the pizza delivery and the minibar rum and cokes. Does that count?

[@haph2087]

@@WilliamBrowningDepends if it was out of his pocket or from the church coffers ofc.

[@APairOfOldSkoolVans]

If you’re leaving room for Jesus, it’s not fair for him to snag a free meal again

[@GiodyneSTG]

amen

[@somedudeok1451]

Which essentially means you'll skip out on the bill. ^^

[@natashapatterson3608]

Split the bill and go find a different man who is actually worth your time 💅

[@EvanBear]

Yeah no. If you want a traditional marriage, you pay. Because that's traditional. Not so great now huh?

[@xysarenottheprize]

Just wait until war is declared. 😂 You won’t hear a peep about tradition.

[@EvanBear]

@@xysarenottheprize I'm not sure how to tell you this but this comment is dumb on so many levels: 1. There are female soldiers. 2. You are most likely american which means you are already at war. 3. Even in the olden times while men were at war women were working, working, not caring for the household, to help with the war effort. Man just do some research before you look like an absolute muppet on the internet.

[@kitsunephantom6155]

@@xysarenottheprize Good lord, I hate when these dumbass dudes bring up the draft. Like my brother in Christ, _men_ made the draft, the draft was all but made illegal after Vietnam, and women currently serve in the military. It is not the gotcha you think it is!

[@bootmii98]

A tradwife can expect her husband to pay for everything. He is the breadwinner, after all.

[@heddelinpralin1481]

The only time I didn’t insist on paying for myself was when a guy who we both knew made a LOT more money than me took me to an extremely fancy place. I still offered to pay for myself and he said smthn like “no you’re fine, I wouldn’t have taken you to a place like this and expected you to pay, I’d love to pay for both of us” and I accepted

[@heddelinpralin1481]

But at the end of the date he said he loved me (before we had even spent 24h irl together) so yeah no we didn’t see each other again

[@ironman_546]

​@@heddelinpralin1481yoooo that's insane sorry it turned out like that

[@Goliath0422]

​@@heddelinpralin1481Holy fuck, that was a turn😂😂😂

[@laurendaryani4893]

​@@heddelinpralin1481Went real quick from "Aw, that's cool 😊" to "wat?"

[@KufLMAO]

@@heddelinpralin1481I mean you can fall in love with people pretty fuckin quickly, no? Definitely been the case in my experience. Pretty rare tho, but not impossible. I don’t see what’s inherently bad about that. I’m sure it is a strange thing to hear so quickly tho

[@union1st]

Gender hierarchy is cringe

[@slugdruid2483]

this has nothing to do with hierarchy just common decency

[@blarghblargh]

@@slugdruid2483 your statement is a bit ambiguous. it could be interpreted as "men paying for women is common decency" or "women not acting entitled to free food is common decency"

[@Jazzmaster1992]

Is it hierarchy or absolutism? Either way it is cringe

[@MensHominis]

Funny thing is, as few women as there are who’ll actually pull this off, they’ll probably rather be the the tradwife-leaning type (at least on the inside, no matter their public takes), so sadly the _exact opposite_ of those (more progressive) women whom online misogynists will end up being radicalised against. It’s so frustrating.

[@blarghblargh]

@@MensHominis not necessarily. some people go on dates to get meals when they're poor. it's a bit disingenuous if they're not making that clear up front, and it's certainly not ideal that they'd have to do that in the first place, instead of having guaranteed and easy ways to secure decent food without having to resort to weird shit like this (e.g. being able to go to a restaurant once in a while. not talking about the gruel line or EBT or whatever). the tiktok video is fake af tho, so we're all kinda just pontificating and making generalizations here.

[@nunyabiznes7446]

don't mislead chat lol, if you tell your coworker you think they're nice and ask them out to dinner to "get to know them better" they are absolutely going to think you're asking them on a date

[@KufLMAO]

Yeah I would ask them to lunch instead to avoid them gettin it twisted. Completely different connotation. Weird that something as simple as time of day has that much meaning…

[@NemosHero]

"Stacy's only want to date chads!" Bro...stop chasing after Stacys

[@CatboiCatastropheUwU]

Ah, but don't you see? They *deserve* the stacy!

[@RodrickMarsMoon]

Right?!! It's the same logic of the guys that want "modest" women, vut instead of going to them, they go to the badass ones and want to force them to become modest by peer pressure. Like, let the fun women alone, go for the modest ones they want so much!!! Period!!!

[@ss-ds2dn]

Obsessing over "Stacy" allows them to sit and pout about women or "society," avoiding the cognitive dissonance surrounding their own shallow hypocritical dating philosophy. Going after "Becky"(iirc) forces them to deal with that shallow hypocrisy because they're constantly complaining that "Becky" is obsessed with "Chad." Because their lens is about grouping people by dating options rather than actual mentality.

[@DimaRakesah]

I feel like part of it is a scarcity mindset. They know they can't get the most desirable Instagram model type women cause there are only so many women that hot, so they end up feeling like all the *other* women should be pressured to become that desirable. If there are more women who look like the woman they want it makes it easier for mediocre men to have a chance at them just through sheer numbers. Then forcing them into secondary roles where they will also be pressured to date/marry these meh dudes cause they don't have much of a choice.

[@BasedGodFlashy]

This assumes they are chasing Stacy's instead of the reality which is they want Becky's but Becky also chases Chad.

[@TheLizardKing752]

I read a book on d/s dynamics written by a Dom and his advice says, "I enjoyed tonight, I'd love to cover you if you're comfortable with that." Consent, consent, consent, even when paying for someone, you don't know if that's making them uncomfortable.

[@cyanthrope]

people who actually engage with kink healthily know consent is king in all aspects of life. As I bet you know, in a healthy d/s dynamic, the sub is actually the one with a lot of power because they get to dictate where and how far things go. It's the vanillas who just want to control their partner (and call it things like "trad") who are the problem

[@TheLizardKing752]

@@cyanthrope 100%, I know several ethical nonmonogamy people who simply don't trust monogamous vanilla partners anymore. And a good portion of kink is the simple relief of taking those kinky skeletons out of the closet and being open about different proclivities. I remember the first time I told a woman some stuff I'd neeeever have mentioned as a teen, and hearing her be into the same stuff, it was pretty liberating.

[@leehalloway8787]

Which book are you referring to? I enjoy D/s dynamic books.

[@TheLizardKing752]

@@leehalloway8787 I think it was called Heart of Dominance

[@ffc257]

I need a consent to pay someone bill?

[@Grace-tg4oy]

I'm a lesbian but I feel like this is something you should talk about prior to going on the date. Like a quick "Do you want to split the bill, or I can pay." Text.

[@somedudeok1451]

But why even bring it up? You shouldn't have to bring it up, if the person is worthwhile. If a petty thing like that was going to be a problem, then you're better off skipping them anyway. Where do people even find someone who cares about the financial aspect of the date?

[@tianamaycry]

​@@somedudeok1451 Right? As if you're expecting the date to cost nothing. I'm always happy to split the bill, every now and then someone offers to cover it, and I'm grateful when they do.

[@cgsec2275]

@@somedudeok1451 A lot of people literally can not afford to pay for their date's dinner every week or multiple times a week. I can't even afford to eat out alone regularly. Going out to get a coffee at a cafe is a treat for me. Also yes if my date always expects me to pay, that says something about their personality, so it does matter. In the same sense, if I always expected my date to pay, they would probably think I am a rude and selfish person. So it should be the same both ways.

[@sleepycowboy18]

Im a straight woman, i automatically assume split bill until said otherwise, bcs with that i can have convo of which restaurant to go that i can afford

[@vsperatos]

Buzzkill

[@theevilonewholaughs]

I literally never let guys pay for my portion of the date because they have got aggressive and on one occasion did get violent. So never again

[@Pinko-Diamond]

Prolly why I thought it was so weird that this one chick from outside the city thought it was unusual that I didn't offer to pay when I invited her even tho it would never have possibly occurred to me to do so. Never heard of a single woman in the very large city that I live in not splitting bill on a casual lunch date with someone you don't know at all. Very much felt like a red flag to me. Like what kind of guy are you trying to filter for with that kind of thing a desperate one? Anyone that is going to over invest in someone they don't know is suspicious to me.

[@melonsauce1474]

She's probably traditional.@@Pinko-Diamond

[@indiesigi7807]

If this happens a lot you might want to reevaluate your choice of men. You get to pick them.

[@alishamuhidin3604]

@@indiesigi7807most guys suck . Soz to break it to ya .

[@HarryDirtay]

​@@indiesigi7807you might not realize this bubby. But people will lie to you and act nice to lower your guard so they can take advantage of you. This is common as our ancestors were uniformally predators. People typically don't put POS in their dating profiles. At least not knowingly.

[@Nadja19869]

Did anyone noticed the nails? She probably had makeup on too. A nice outfit. Good hair. Build up lashes from the salon perhaps. All the things that led to him being interested and therfore asking her out. How much do you guys think all this cost? Just an estimate perhaps. Her skin care routine (not the makeup😉) for the face alone probably contains 5-6 products alone. For her hair care likewise. How much does that cost?! Beauty salon appointments? Answer: It cost a lot. SHE ALREADY PAID. To attract him, she already paid multiple times the pathetic amount of money he had to pay for her on the date HE initiated. Being seen with a beautiful well kept woman alone is clout and staus for a man. She already paid. Change my mind.

[@yourlittlesecret7575]

manifestelle? love her

[@Nadja19869]

@@yourlittlesecret7575 And Shallon Lester before her. And burbnbougie. And my own observations. And and and... I love all of these content creators❤️. Let's walk away from the dust ladies. Birthrates all over the world are declining. Dictators are desperate and beg their women folk for babies. In South Korea right now already, more adult diapers are being sold, than infant diapers. Let's just walk away. Let the world crumble.

[@hooraym5500]

​@@yourlittlesecret7575yaaas. queen femchad

[@coaxill4059]

Did he ask her to do any of that? If we hang out and I go out of my way to be as presentable as possible, should I charge you for every whiff of cologne? Get fucking real.

[@user-ju9pd3pi5h]

as a woman I disagree with this sentiment. On the flip side, some guys pay a lot for nutrition and gym to look and feel their best. If you want a totally shredded partner, he already paid and you get status and clout for being with washboard abs Andrew. I am with a southern gentleman who insists on paying (but never had to pay full I offered to split) and I'm a well kept young woman and working to be a traditional wife myself, getting my nails done, going to the dentist to have my teeth whitened and taken care of, doing nice skin care and spending hours on my wild curly hair to look more presentable, going to the gym, along with makeup. These are all things that I choose to do, and these are things that I also did to woo a partner, just as he wanted to be in very good physical shape to woo his own partner. Making decisions to live your life a certain way shouldn't be projected on a PROSPECTIVE partner. I think once you've established being together and are married or more long term, that's another conversation and I do believe men should pay for their wife to continue to take care of herself. Like pay for the nails and the hair and whatnot, especially if shes a stay at home mom or traditional wife. But many women expect men to invest prior to any commitment and that is wrong. I definitely feel it depends on the situation, and I do think men that can afford it should make the offer to pay, because it left a very good first impression that my man paid and didn't expect anything or pressure me.

[@KateeAngel]

Some guys just want a second mommy, who will pay for everything and also do all the housework, and care about his emotional needs etc. The real reason for epidemic of male loneliness is that many men were raised by patriarchal culture to be utterly irresponsible and entitled

[@djlivvy46]

P0rn didn't help either, to be honest.

[@audreywineland1426]

Actually I think it is the matriarchy culture that is stunting male growth. Single moms, boy moms, girl bosses…all either disparaging men or turning these guys into their absent husbands emotionally & sometimes financially. Now I better understand that biblical passage about men needing to leave their (birth) families and cleaving to their wife.

[@psychicbyinternet]

I love how some men feel so entitled that they think they shouldn't have to offer anything. She has to cook and clean AND pay for dates AND be the breadwinner. Do they really think any woman would go for a man who offers nothing while she has to be hot, polite, reject feminism, be willing to have sex with him, cook, clean, take care of their kids, work and pay bills? Unless you have a 9 incher that ain't happening. And even then probably not. No guy would ever take that deal.

[@rakelodakel]

When you see it, you won't ever unsee it. Most men are boys. And they want a mom that they can have sex with. That's what you described, and you are absolutely correct. These traits are what a lot of boys out there want. And it's creepy af.

[@lydiaxaddams]

If men have anything, it's the audacity.

[@spicewilliam9786]

If guys want to have a tradwife then the have to get used to paying for literally everything since the woman has no income.

[@atomic66]

If he asks her out, he pays. Period.

[@Kattlarv]

>Catgirls >Easy to deal with Have any of you EVER met a cat?

[@titandarknight2698]

There easy to deal with if your patient, kind and understanding.

[@ralfphelps8365]

Cats don't have much money tho, so pretty hard for them to split the bill

[@LadyCoyKoi]

@@titandarknight2698 And these men can't do those things to regular women??? It seems men created their own problems due to sheer entitlement bs issues. The plain Jane sweet gal across the streets exists, but men want her to look like a 304 beetch. >_>

[@lydiaxaddams]

lol I just assumed it was sarcastic.

[@cruiseny26]

I mean generally, if you ask someone out, you should cover the bill. If you want to split the bill, when you ask her out, be transparent upfront. It’s not that hard.

[@helpfulfox2789]

they dont want a wife, they just want a mom

[@user-th1pv6ks5o]

First clue to this is fake: getting a date on Tinder Second clue: Going to a resturant and not immidiately to a hotel with your date Third clue: The date on Tinder wasn't actually a man, as their are no women on tinder.

[@xaviervasco]

I noticed these things too

[@revolutionaryrabbit7715]

Idk, found my GF there. Has it really got even worse in the couple years I've been gone?

[@totalwar1793]

@@revolutionaryrabbit7715 From what I've heard, yes. I've been getting like all my dates from DMing girls on Insta tho 😅

[@yourneighborhoodxenos]

​@@revolutionaryrabbit7715right? I mean, I know I'm a lesbian and online dating is different for the straights, but Tinder was one of the only ways to meet other lesbians somewhat easily in my rural area. I mean, it was still annoying and not what I preferred, but I found my very awesome, nice, and female wife there 😂 if you didn't want hookups, just say so, cause I definitely made it clear I was only looking for serious relationships.

[@azroceankitarn9620]

​@yourneighborhoodxenos, a lot of people dont actually have the patients for dating apps.

[@luba5636]

As a bottom i think the top should pay.

[@willjapheth23789]

Gay

[@luba5636]

@@willjapheth23789 YES

[@Laurasaurus5]

from each according to their kink, to each according to if they're allowed or not.

[@marlabeard5352]

@@Laurasaurus5Nice twist on Marx.

[@DivinityIncarnate000]

The government should pay

[@sookendestroy1]

I wish I could date as a tax write off... I'd pay just as much in taxes

[@sub-harmonik]

I think the birth rate is gonna have to fall a bit more for that

[@marcosqueo1000]

Based government mandated dinners

[@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj]

@@sub-harmonikAre you anti feminist and right wing

[@sub-harmonik]

@@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj putting someone's views into broad categories like 'feminist/anti-feminist' and 'right/left wing' is reductive Not sure why it's relevant anyways.

[@MarquisLeary34]

Like they say; they want tradwives, but don't want to be trad husbands. Also as someone wise to the game stated: "It's Miami. These redpillers go down to Miami, see the club scene there, and are convinced EVERY woman everywhere is like that."

[@jayogee913]

And they expect s*x by the third date, lol! No, dudes. Not how it works with trads. A REAL tradcon woman is gonna wait till she has a house, a car, and a ring from the guy!

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

Let's be CLEAR...THEY ARE PREDATORS, ABUSERS LOOKING TO TAKE TAKE TAKE Dont be literally tarded

[@yogidevendrabiriyani1777]

So no blondes then?

[@user-jm8ho2hy8g]

I made 4 times what my partner made when we started dating. She paid for the first dinner, she demanded to since she picked the place, it was a nice Indian restaurant. After that we talked about it and we did a couple split bills but then went to the person that picks the place pays. I of course picked more often and picked higher priced places because I could but we made an agreement. It is all about mutual respect.

[@SuperStella1111]

You should have been paying. Honestly. What a loser.

[@Ignozi]

Respect.

[@puffball4484]

Tbh this is why you shouldn't go to a restaurant on the first date. Go to a cafe or something where buying something is optional.

[@racebannon3672]

what kinda cafe is buying something optional?

[@zen_tewmbs]

@@racebannon3672idk if you know this, but sitting at a table in a coffee shop is free. Also, a coffee//tea is a hell of a lot cheaper than a whole meal, if you're buying a thing.

[@KufLMAO]

Huh?

[@somedudeok1451]

Nah. Go to all the fancy restaurants you want. Just don't do it with a conservative. _Everyone_ who's not on the right is _completely_ ok with splitting the bill. In fact, I've never even met someone I was interested in who would assume that they wouldn't have to pay just because they have a vagina. It wouldn't even occur to them, except as one of those weird conventions old people used to have.

[@MarthanCrowl]

Yep, plus if they're crazy, you can just leave.

[@Malevolence05]

"She was at least 18" is a scary line to be throwing around

[@somedudeok1451]

Not if you're yourself 17.

[@annnee6818]

He was 18 himself so it's fine

[@MadHeart-rw9xh]

I always say, if you want a goth GF you better be prepared to provide ALL her meals for her, cause you have no IDEA how much work it is to put on fishnets. Seriously!

[@vmofu7317]

DEADASS bc if you think of it, they often put it A LOT of work and money and you’re searching for a gf that invests in her fashion and makeup

[@KufLMAO]

I don’t… I don’t see the connection… huh? 😂

[@laurennelson3918]

Not only that you probably also need to be prepared to pay for her to get new fishnets, eyeliner and maybe tickets to her favourite bands/merch she doesn’t have yet and wants. After all the goth gf everyone wants tends to be a 7minimum and alternate style doesn’t have a shien price tag. If anything you are probably going to have to drop $200+ on Demonas for the anniversary or something on top of the makeup money because the goth gf is really independent and you need to sweeten the pot for her to let you into her personal space and life like that.

[@roxanneboudreau903]

When my husband and I dated, we split everything 50-50. We both had jobs, so that made the most sense. Now I would consider myself more of a traditional housewife. After having kids, I realized taking care of a house and kids was another full-time job by itself. I couldn’t work two full-time jobs. I was completely burnt out. So I quit my paying job to make the workload more 50-50 again. No regrets, raising kids is a lot of work. And this is what works best for us.

[@beardpapa12]

I think as long as he see the money he earns as both yours and his, then it works. Too many men unfortunately sees his salary as completely as his even when his spouse is making his life a lot easier by doing the heavy lifting at home.

[@roxanneboudreau903]

@@beardpapa12 I handle all of the money, so no issues there. But I have heard similar horror stories.

[@magischzwei]

@@beardpapa12 most couples I know that end up that way have the housewife handle the house finances, because at least anecdotally and by socialization, women are better at budgeting and keeping track of these things.

[@darpanabai3967]

My husband insisted on paying for everything that he could within his means. We were both between jobs and housing at the time we got together, but he would buy like a meal and a hotel room for us one week, and then I drained my 401k to put rent down on an apartment, then he worked while I made lunch and dinners for him from home. We now have a business, a home and careers, kids, and we contribute evenly to bettet our lives together. It's always been even, even when he insisted i just be a SAHM, i went snd got certifications to get a good career with benefits while he pursued business ownership.

[@beardpapa12]

women handling the finances and giving the husband an allowance is how it's done in Japan. Which makes sense since she's the one at home all the time. I think women should ask for that setup from the getgo and if he balks, take that as a red flag. @@magischzwei

[@thephantomarcana]

I would always pay for the full date if I asked her on the date. It makes you look better to them. Why wouldn’t you want that from someone you’re pursuing ? I understand being wary of grifters trying to get a free meal, but that’s why you vet for days and weeks before the first date tho.

[@aprilfox9205]

This, this is the best response ever.

[@JenniferKlumpp]

Every woman I knew growing up, through high school, college, etc. always expected the first date to be something inexpensive and with a shared bill. After that, it generally was expected that whoever asked/set up the date paid.

[@DistractedDaisy]

Listen ladies if they’re not willing to pay for it without strings attached then make sure that’s the last date! Unless you both agreed to split bill beforehand!

[@cruisindownthestreetinmy6490]

This is another one of those “I just think my country is better” moments because in AUSTRALIA there is no “bill”. Everyone orders their food at the table or at the register, sits down, eats, and pays, either before or after. And it’s all done separately for each person or meal. in America, (at least in restaurants) you have to physically give your card away to someone, which can take a very long time, get the bill, decide to split it or not, decide how much to tip, etc… In australia you grab your card or phone, tap it on the eftpos and go. none of the tricky social processes or an accidental faux pas…

[@domena1007]

I wouldn't trust the restaurant with my card

[@dardega]

In Europe, most places will ask if you want to pay separate or all in one bill. If separate, each will pay for their own order. If one bill, then it means one of you is paying for the whole thing. The only way to go 50/50 is if you get one bill and then pay by cash. As most people in Europe are used to paying by card, you shouldn't expect 50/50, if you haven't agreed on that beforehand. I rarely carry with me enough cash to pay for a whole dinner and drinks. There are some exceptions though. Spanish tapas, for example. It's a food/dining activity where you're supposed to share them. Then you can ask the waiter to split the bill equally. In other contexts the 50/50 just doesn't make sense to me.

[@FortuitousOwl]

It highly depends on the place here in the US. Yall forget our country is fing huge, we also have every way of paying for food yall have and more lol

[@emilchan5379]

Depends on the country. In my country each table is just given one bill by default, so someone has to foot the entire bill first and the others paying them back later in cash or via digital bank transfer. Some places are willing to charge you separately, but you got to ask the waiters first.

[@littlemoth4956]

Do you understand how big and varied the US is? Each restaurant might have a different system from the last.

[@lisaayres-zp5jj]

hasan should pay on first date, he has house so he can afford it

[@sub-harmonik]

he has a big house though. Think of how many of our dinners he could pay for.

[@CrowePerch]

Hasan house discourse is back in a huuuuge way

[@waynestrickland3870]

I recently went on a date with a chick who wanted to be treated like a princess. I straight up told her that we’re equals and while I really enjoy treating my friends, I don’t think that should be expected. We went on a date, it went well, so I paid for dinner because I had just gotten paid and wanted to have a good time. They later dropped out of communication. No biggie. Then she hits me up and was like “I feel bad about what I did, lemme get you back for dinner bc you were so nice.” So this chick went from “I’m an object of desire” to “let me reimburse you because I feel guilty.” Which I think is great. I told them that if they wanted to hang again when they felt open to, just lemme know. Social media buddies

[@hands-ongaming7180]

Wake up babe new friend zone just dropped. The “Social media buddies” friendzone 😂😂😆🤣🤣🤣

[@acetrainer5564]

​@hands-ongaming7180 Yeah, shockingly most people like having friends so it isn't a problem. Must be weird to you, huh.

[@Butterflyyyxoxo]

I am not surprised there's a male loneliness epidemic.

[@Robiness]

​@@hands-ongaming7180Yeah imagine having friends right what a looser/i

[@dylanbyrne1265]

What about this situation was bad to you?@@Butterflyyyxoxo

[@cherrypopscile3385]

Bruh just talk about this before a dinner. If you invite someone out to dinner, say how you wanna handle paying. Boom, problem solved. Talk. Like. Adults.

[@themajesticmoose8147]

No.

[@Butterflyyyxoxo]

​@@themajesticmoose8147yes

[@leehalloway8787]

Exactly. Typically, I pay but there have been women who are serious about splitting the bill. I dated a guy and he was really upset when I offered to pay. It's best to talk, too many people have different expectations.

[@DevinMacGregor]

First dates should be automatically split bill and if the other is deciding where to eat, you need to ask where, and then say my wallet too small, not beau coup enough. Can we go somewhere else.

[@leehalloway8787]

@@DevinMacGregor Everyone should talk to see if they have the same expectations for paying.

[@applejuicyjuice]

I have never in my life split the bill with a romantic partner. I would rather one of us pay the entire thing. I think it looks tacky to split it. Either I’m treating you or you’re treating me. But I never order beyond what I can afford. I’m considerate of the finances of the other person. I also tip on top of whatever my date tips. 🤷🏽‍♀️ that’s just me but I’m very transparent about it. So I’ll never pull a fast one. I also never go out if I can’t cover the full tab just in case things go south.

[@hulkmt]

​@@justwannabehappy6735 it's patriarchy but equal lol

[@matthewsanchez7953]

Yup, fake video for duh engagements. Just like going out to dinner with your friends, pay for what you order and they can pay for what they order.

[@wongwong1517]

No, it's very common actually. Progressive girls are all like this: demand men pay, but aren't feminine or traditional women. This is extremely common. Vaush himself has talked about this.

[@OmarAyusoVA]

Maybe you could just talk about it before you arrange the date so it isn't awkward. That's an idea.

[@somedudeok1451]

Nah dude. You shouldn't even have to bring it up, if the person is worthwhile. If they're gonna make a problem of something as petty as the financial aspect of the date, then you should skip them anyway. Nothing good can come of it.

[@perlundgren7797]

@@somedudeok1451 In that case, wouldn't it be better to find out about that _before_ wasting time on a date bound to lead absolutely nowhere? Seems to me that you just made another argument for actually talking about it before the date.

[@dawnelder9046]

The person, male or female, who does the asking out on a date, should pay the bill. This is different if just asking to meet up with co workers. Or state Dutch right from the beginning. If you don't have much money, coffee, free skating in the park, etc.. But I was always taught by my Dad to have enough to cover my bill, and to get home.

[@somedudeok1451]

@@perlundgren7797 Nah, just talk to the person to get a feel for them. But you should never have to actually ask, if they're fine splitting. That's like asking, if they're fine washing their hands after using the toilet. Nobody should ever say no.

[@ArchmageIlmryn]

IME it's far more common that women will demand to split the bill because they don't want to feel they owe the guy something compared to someone being upset that that the guy didn't pay. I think this has more to do with guys being insecure that women will feign interest in them to get something out of them.

[@TheAoide82]

The only time i got weird about a guy not paying, was when i went on a brunch date and the dude straight up TOLD me he was paying. We had to order at the counter, and he ordered for himself and paid, and i was just like... dude... so, i order, and sort of look at him, and he completely ignored me. It was dumb af

[@KufLMAO]

So you never asked him about it after that when you sat down? Like what happened next?

[@arbitrarylib]

Men can be weird

[@thaneofcawdor-lj4li]

i had an ex who would insist on paying for me whenever we went out, even when i explicitly said i wanted to pay for myself. this went to the point of him physically stopping me from paying for myself at least once. while he never held it over me, it made me uncomfortable for obvious reasons.

[@leehalloway8787]

That's crazy. I wonder what his issue was. I enjoy paying but it is never an issue if someone feels more comfortable paying or splitting.

[@HarryDirtay]

I'll give an "are you sure? I've enjoyed the date and don't mind covering the bill at all" But physically stopping someone is insane and raises concerns. Maybe try a light hearted credit card duel instead?

[@dinodare1605]

​@@HarryDirtay How do you credit card duel?

[@littlemoth4956]

@@dinodare1605You hold the card between your index and middle fingers and fence with it

[@ezlo90]

I actually had this happen. I was probably 23 I met a girl on a crappy dating app, and it was around Valentine's day. She asked me out for it before we even talked that much. We went out for dinner. Since we hadn't even known each other more than like a week and it was our first date, I split the bill. The second date we went to see a movie, I didn't get popcorn or soda right away until we were sat down and settled. At that point I was getting ready to get up and get some, but she got up first and returned 15 minutes later with a soda and a popcorn. She put the popcorn in her lap and ate it by herself without offering to share at all. Which flagged me as pretty weird. After the date she messaged me and said she wasn't interested anymore. I asked what I could have improved. She said you didn't even get the full bill we went out on the first date, and then I had to buy my own popcorn. And I was like... Okay then bullet dodged.. Never had that happen before, or since then.. Weird. Snow if you see this, I hope you're less petty now lol.

[@Butterflyyyxoxo]

Why would she offer to share buy your own popcorn. She dodged the bullet.

[@rep1600]

@@Butterflyyyxoxo i think many people offer to share things that they have bought

[@thunderspark1536]

@@Butterflyyyxoxo Because its common human courtesy to ask if someone you're on a date with wants to share something. Like yeah I'll just shovel popcorn down my gullet while my date is staring at me, how romantic!

[@Butterflyyyxoxo]

​​@@thunderspark1536you set the standard by splitting she just met your standards and bought her own.

[@Spyno41]

​@@ButterflyyyxoxoI think when youre on a DATE it should be a shared experience between parties. OP even explained they were going to buy it to share.

[@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty]

If you're a person who asks someone out to a place but doesn't discuss how it will be paid with the person you asked out.... *You accept the risks.*

[@hands-ongaming7180]

It’s baffling how these incels think they’re making sense and only expose their poor communication skills

[@leehalloway8787]

Finally, someone is speaking facts. In my culture, the invitee is the host. The host pays or at least is responsible for letting people know the terms of payment.

[@dylanbyrne1265]

I'm sorry but this is just a faux progressive way to get men to pay for 99% of dates without openly admitting it's because of bullshit gender roles.

[@ffc257]

@@hands-ongaming7180 what does incel means? can you give me a definition

[@hands-ongaming7180]

@@ffc257 no.

[@caitlinmarshwous2707]

I actually think she has a valid point. He asked her out. There is an unspoken exchange of "If you would please trade me some of your time and to be able to be seen in public with you (we all know how much more time and money is spent on looking 'date ready' when I have seen very few men match the effort), for a free meal." If she wanted to be friends and hang like you were homies, she would have shown up in her sweats, no makeup. If you ask ANYONE out on a date, you should expect to pay for the meal. Same goes for women, if they ask a man out on a date, they should know they will likely be socially expected to pay. To have a conversation about who is going to pay ahead of time would be usually considered rude- but if men would like to initiate that, they are more than welcome to do so. You can find out exactly how many women want to be your "friend". The question "Would you like to go out to dinner sometime with me?" implies something totally different than "Would you like to hang out sometime?". It do be known.

[@rora9994]

The only solution is for Vaush to pay for all of our first dates.

[@Spood6]

I just split the bill, seems fair and I've literally never seen anyone who opposes this. It's like 20 bucks between the two of us usually. Specially on a first date as well, since it sort of incentivices sharing, and I wouldn't want to date someone who's got weird arbitrary gender norms about money out of all things

[@rishabhanand4973]

but see you seem to not be looking for a trad wife. Seems like in this case, the dude wants a trad wife (basically one who cooks for him, cleans the house and takes care of the kids) but doesn't want to be a trad husband (paying for everything)

[@brokensilence3268]

I personally think that the person who asked the other out should be the one to pay.

[@DellikkilleD]

@@brokensilence3268 This is the way.

[@Nickers19]

​@@rishabhanand4973Where did you see him saying he wants a "tradwife"? Maybe i missed something

[@RichPoorGrl]

Dont get mad, just pay, be sweet and block as he drives off. The asker outter is supposed to pay, how do you guys not know that?

[@ladyeva1980]

Whoever asks the person out pays, regardless of gender, those are the rules of etiquette, but aside, the reason for a man paying for a date is showing that they are willing to provide for you, it doesn't have to be expensive, it could be going out for Chinese

[@Vic2point0]

I very much believe in traditional gender roles and norms, but if you (man or woman) ask someone else out (man or woman) you should be paying the full bill. That being said, it seems most women still prefer that the guy ask the girl out (so yes that means he should pay). What should she do in return? Be nice. Yes, literally just nice. That's it.

[@logangagnepain7154]

Personally, I like footing the bill because I want to show people my appreciation for sharing a moment with them. Its possible that its just another form of toxic masculinity, but I dont know. It feels WRONG for me to share a meal with someone and not overpay in one way or another. Especially if I do have the means!

[@bridi0821]

I mean. Wouldn’t having a meaningful conversation and showing them a good time be the appreciation? Imo, I’m not going in a date for someone to pay for my food, I’m going for the company.

[@PatrikPatrick-zw5wj]

@@bridi0821Are u anti f3minist

[@logangagnepain7154]

@@bridi0821 Youre 100% right. Its just, once again, a quirk of mine that im still trying to fix, and I imagine a lot of guys will end up in a similar situation. Doing what i just mentioned out of habit.

[@bridi0821]

@@logangagnepain7154 ya. That makes sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if that feeling comes from a mix of both aspects of toxic masculinity as well as just like…general anxiety with regards to interacting with people (especially in the context of romantic/sexual relationships).

[@pennyjpie]

That’s totally fine, all that matters is that you’re comfortable with doing that. You might just be a “giver” type of person. But like either way as long as everyone is ok with who pays for what, that’s what matters. Everybody’s different. :) My bf loves paying for all my meals, but I actually always prefer to pay my fair share of everything. We literally compromised by alternating who pays or splitting sometimes and that makes us both feel like we’re giving to the other.

[@TidePodsRFood]

For me, it's more of like a respect thing. I'm fine with bill splitting, but it feels weird and irresponsible to ask somebody out to something you couldn't fully afford yourself, even if you *are* splitting.

[@firesflame221]

I haven’t had this happen, but I did go out on a tinder date way somebody who agreed to split the bill before going out, racked up 100+ bill on drinks and food( after I agreed to pay for the app) and then conveniently “forgot” her card, but said she would send me the money over paypal ( the bill ended up being over $200 after tip) and then took her to her car and she went home. After we talked a bit more and asked her about the money she ghosted me. If I didn’t have my credit card on me I would have been super in the hole money wise, and it took 2 months to recover from the unexpected expenses. Literally have anxiety over issues like this now.

[@djlivvy46]

Was your share of the bill the same as hers?

[@mommabear887]

I've been married 11 years now, but back in my dating days, if a date were to ask me to pay I would but you just disqualified yourself. Why would I choose you when other men would always pay and never ever let me even if I offer? You just showed me on date 1 you are not a provider. You just showed me I will probably have to do all domestic work while working and providing 50% financially. That's not a win for me. It should be a win on both our behalf.

[@Nickers19]

Why do you assume that he won't help domestically and you will contribute both 50% financially?😅If you are a "tradwife" ok, but if you claim to not be one, then it's wrong to expect generosity without commitment

[@mommabear887]

@@Nickers19 because men never do. And women know that. It's why they don't want to be married doing 50-50 anymore. They know it's not actually 50-50. And they are right. Not all women can find a guy who will provide traditionally, so I support their choice to stay single instead of taking on a 50-50 relationship, that ends up being entirely on their shoulders, with guys using weaponized incompatance when it pertains to domestic chores. Cause it's so funny how you men conveniently "forget" basic life skills after marriage. There's few and far between that actually help with domestic chores.

[@MayorofHopeville]

​​@@mommabear887You're trauma posting at the last minute there suddenly switching to "you men". If you never found a man who does chores and bills I'm sorry. I blame older generations.

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

He fully set her up. Period. He could have informed her before the date that he wanted to split the bill, but he waited until the end of the date and secretly recorded their conversation hoping she would react this exact way. Yuck. I've never had this issue with men because I never dated immature people.

[@FortuitousOwl]

These guys want trad wives but refuse to be trad husbands. Can’t have one without the other, lads.

[@PinocchioDread]

When did he say he wanted a trad wife?

[@FortuitousOwl]

@@PinocchioDread I don’t think he did. You’re very smart

[@justacoginthefkery]

When I tried online dating, I had a couple guys get bothered because I willingly volunteered to pay my half. "But I thought this was a date?" Okay, my bad, I guess? So while talking about setting up a date with a new guy, I asked in advance if he had a preference about paying/ splitting so as to avoid another potential awkward situation. He FREAKED out immediately & went on some anti-feminist rant, accusing me of expecting free food & calling me all kinds of names. He tried to change his tune when I told him exactly WHY I asked, but too late! Big nope & he got blocked moments later.

[@jayogee913]

Honestly, good point from her is that HE asked HER out, so not too crazy to expect the inviting party to pay the bill. But maybe the solution is to just make it the new norm to split the bill on the first date. Then the pressure is off, there's no misunderstanding, problem solved.

[@emilchan5379]

It depends on the local culture. In some places it is normal for people to split the bill. In others, the person who asked you out is the one paying. A general rule for me is to never eat at a place where I am not prepared to pay the whole bill. And if I am the one that is invited out, I won't accept an invitation to a place where I am unwilling to split the bill. Also lmao the editors actually kept that segment about Dungeon Meshi in the video.

[@taintedazazel7238]

Her saying "I can't believe you made us split the bill" sounds like something out of a Disney show, the only thing missing is the audience laughing sound effect.

[@racoon251]

splitting the bill is fair and equal

[@vvieites001]

Not if one makes significantly more money. So it depends. We still don’t have gender equality but some men insist on equality only when it comes to paying bills but not much else like domestic labor. I’ve also found that guys who like me will offer-even insist-to pay, the ones that don’t are more likely to be ok with going half and half. And these aren’t like trad guys, they’re pretty liberal for the most part. At this point I see it as a sign that he’s into me if he offers, but I’m always prepared to pay if he doesn’t.

[@firepuppies4086]

At least pay for what you get usually. Or be ready to so that you don't over order.

[@leehalloway8787]

​@@vvieites001I agree. I usually made substantially more than the women that I have dates so I had no problem with paying. I never insist if it makes someone feel uncomfortable though. I typically like relationships where I am the main provider and I love feeding people (, it's part of my culture) so I am biased.

[@somedudeok1451]

@@vvieites001 Nah dude. Even if one person makes more money than the other, not splitting the bill just leads to dependencies and power imbalances. Not good. Always split, if possible. Unless you've been together for several years. And if you think them wanting to pay for your time is an act of affection, then you might want to stop dating shallow people.

[@actinaction]

I'm a lesbian but usually, whoever asks the other person out, has to pay. On the second date, they pay, its not that hard. He asked her out so he has to pay, easy.

[@blargh559]

I'm gonna do some mild assumptions here, but getting rejected sucks a little bit more when you've treated the person telling you no to a nice meal or evening in general. I've offered to pay before as an appreciative gesture if I enjoyed the girl's company, finding out later she felt otherwise is a bummer. Also, stands to reason that unless the person rejecting is very entitled individual, they'd also find it more awkward to have to turn you away in spite of being grateful for said gesture. For those reasons it's better IMO to go halfsies/pay for your own stuff, that way nobody feels like they "owe" or are "owed" anything. I know that for some, having all date expenses covered is a given for them bothering to meeting you, which to me sounds like a shitty starting point for positive human interaction.

[@blankspace6367]

don’t take advice from those with a double standard about making assumptions

[@cyanthrope]

I _always_ split on the first date, it's basically insurance that even if the date sucks and it doesn't work out there's no feeling of obligation from either party to go on another date to make it "even" or something. And then from there the person who invites the other pays (usually me) like what I do when I'm inviting any other friend or family out for an evening

[@leehalloway8787]

Idk. I usually am the one paying and I don't think about it afterwards. If the person isn't into me, I am honestly not thinking about what I paid.

[@be.A.b]

At that point you gotta manage your own emotions. Dating should be a life skill that’s taught also. Never pay for someone if you’re going to upset they rejected you. Pay out of generosity or being a good host.

[@blargh559]

@@be.A.b if I'm offering to pay it's because I like the person, the vibe and I feel the date is going well, so the bummer is about that not being reciprocated moreso than the money. Though I can see how people will take any arrangement falling apart more to heart if they invested more than the other party, be it emotional or financial and in some cases both. Silly red pill argument, but a no prenup divorce probably sucks more for the guy if he was the bread winner and lost both a spouse AND a healthy chunk of his wealth, while she lost a spouse but gained financial freedom in the process

[@patricia2007]

If you don’t want to pay for everything, don’t ask a woman out, wait until she asks you 😂…. Better yet, take her somewhere fun but doesn’t require spending money.. like the park, site seeing, a social kick back or just a walk through the neighborhood or a mall strip . If she likes you then she would have a great time regardless. This especially applies to the first date. If she doesn’t want to spend time with you for free don’t take it personally, free up time for the right woman. But men don’t hear me tho…… BUT! If you know the only thing you want from her is sex and nothing else, you better pay that woman and stop wasting peoples time(and yours)😂

[@Nickers19]

I agree with the second part, but the problem with the first is... because of social expectations that rarely happens

[@ktnixon81]

Most women I know pay for their half on the first day because we know we are expected to “put out” for a damn burger and drinks. Hell no! We don’t wanna owe yall ANYTHING! It’s a very small minority that are on the “city girl” trend. 😂

[@Hero1922]

I think with this scenario BEFORE the date bring up the "are you cool with splitting the check?" I'm in my 30s, i've been out of the dating game for some time but the social "lets get something to eat" implies to me "hey I'll pay for us to eat at (restaurant)" unless otherwise stated. Springing on them at the end of the date "break out your wallet" means you are for sure not seeing them again. A date I had a few years back we went to the movies and then a decent restaurant, i got the movie tickets she got the restaurant (steak and shake). People need to communicate clearly how things are going to go before the date or dinner I would say is the issue.

[@jamesbarr8218]

I’m an Alpha Male! But I can’t afford to pay for dinner. And I can’t make you want me.

[@indiesigi7807]

It's also quite common for women to exploit dates for food you know. These channels are always one sided. Here you have white knight incel and over there you have alpha incel.

[@Slavic_Fury]

I’ve had a gf where she would tell me that she forgot her wallet every time we would go and eat somewhere. So she would sit somewhere with me, order food and then when we had to pay, she would say, uhh I forgot my wallet, like it’s just a normal thing that happens to everyone. Haha

[@bbeabobea]

This type of men are so confusing. They want a traditional wife yet wants woman to pay half. They want to be the “provider and protector” then calls a woman a gold digger if he does have to do the role of provider. Like what mental gymnastics did they practice for?

[@NoConsistency]

I don't know women who would get mad splitting the bill, but I do know women who would go on dates just for a free meal. Like if a guy offered to pay the meal as part of the deal of going on a date they would do it.

[@leehalloway8787]

I have seen women get mad about splitting the bill. "What, you don't think I have money?!" They tend to be very, very feminist. I actually prefer it when women are flexible or when they appreciate me covering the bill. It would feel weird if they felt entitled though.

[@vsperatos]

Ill split and not see you again

[@MayorofHopeville]

​@@vsperatosMa'am you're probably twice his age.

[@depaul1115]

I feel like amongst countries in Europe and the Americas, this thing with hypermasculine alpha/sigma type dudes and women that demand "modern chivalry" mostly seems to be a U.S. thing. I've been to or know people who have been to much of Europe, Latin America, and Canada and among the younger generations men seem less aggressive and women seem more egalitarian. For the most part with young people it seemed like the rules were either split the check, whoever invites pays, or take turns paying, and women are just as likely to make the first move as men are. For example when I was studying abroad in Mexico, the rule was who invites pays. When I had Mexican girls ask me out they would always pay, and I would be expected to pay the next outing. Guys would pay for their guy friends as well. In fact, I recently saw a video on Instagram where American women are complaining that in Germany it's becoming more of the norm that the woman makes the first move, and the comments were filled with American women complain that they'd never go to Germany and a bunch of American men calling German men "soyboys" and such. But the Germans just responded by saying that because of this there aren't many sausage fests in Germany (no pun intended, Oktoberfest lol) and that women don't get overly harassed by hypermasculine men like they do in the U.S. Also, it seems that outside the U.S. discussion about who pays is usually more intellectual and people engage with an open mind, in the U.S. it always turns into arguments and insults.

[@MayorofHopeville]

Lot's of girl bosses in the comments pushing back against the truly hypocritical sentiments held by American men and it seems like a doom spiral looking in. The Americans are not ok. Women asking out equally or more than men sounds like a pipe dream. Unfortunately that's another trad role. I fear that the asker being payer is a have cake and eat it way of avoiding paying first to some people. Paying for your own stuff first date leaves zero obligations between the 2 and it establishes that equal power. It's a true ideal dynamic.

[@timetoshiny5182]

Once I went on a date and he asked I split. I assumed he wanted to be friends. Is that not what it means?

[@TheKeKApex]

Man vaush shits on Italian food once and now every other food place has to be Greek or Mediterranean because those are “good” lmfao

[@KufLMAO]

You know Greek is a type of Mediterranean food, right? If anything it’s the quintessential Mediterranean food. Whenever someone mentions ‘Mediterranean food’ my immediate thought is a gyro or whatever you call those things on a stick

[@JCHWKamileo]

15:23 in a very casual sense I disagree with this wholeheartedly, if I genuinely don't want your offering, I don't think I should be made to feel obligated or shamed into accepting it, respect isn't a factor to me when it comes to something I didn't ask for, you don't get project your sense of decency on to me just because you're being nice or generous.

[@dinodare1605]

I agree with this. The feeling that the other person can hold something over your head or use their perceived generosity as mental warfare later is real. I don't even let my FAMILY do a lot of things for me. If I needed family help to go to college then I wouldn't have gone. My family isn't healthy enough for that and if I was arguing with them 3-20 years later I wouldn't want that under their "everything I've done for you" belt.

[@kylevanzandbergen3285]

Vaush saying I’m stupid for hating the attention I get when getting gifts like I don’t already know that 😂

[@edwinvoncarstein]

A dinner in a restaurant for the first date is overall a pretty terrible idea. Meeting someone for the first time should be as casual as possible so you both can just have fun with it and focus on the other person without any weird expectation. Also not doing the dinner date bullshit you will automaticly filter out a lot of people who have those oldschool expectations or those who are not even that interested in you to begin with

[@annebruecks7381]

I've only had one actual 'dinner date' and I couldn't agree more. It should be much more casual so that you can end it sooner if it's not going well.

[@dinodare1605]

As somebody who doesn't know this stuff, this comment is genuinely helpful.

[@theewildrose]

It's a great idea. I want my first date with someone to feel nice n special

[@theewildrose]

​@@annebruecks7381if you want to leave just leave

[@audioish]

Basically 80% of women are practical and can work with direct questions and planning. Saying ‘I wanna keep the date on the cheap side’ they won’t mind and will make a new suggestion cause they experience the same shit you dude do, like money issues. Women are basically just guys at the end of the day.

[@Blueberry_Koi]

I think the first date should be a romantic crime where you dont pay and escape from your local italian mafia for stealing their linguini

[@WafflesInTheRain]

Almost every girl I’ve gone out with has been happy to split bills. Sometimes I would insist on paying for things myself, sometimes they would insist they pay. The only time I’ve had a girl insist that I pay, after she picked the restaurant, she immediately followed that sentence with “don’t worry, I’ll put out.” And she did put out. Everybody was happy in the end. Turns out that being honest and caring people who communicate will help smooth over almost any interaction.

[@1ute]

Are You Dating Bikini Baristas? Haha

[@diallo1347]

I always split the bill on first dates and never had a girl get upset. In fact, most of them suggested it. We had fun, felt no pressure, and focused on the date

[@nervousbreakdown711]

When I was dating, I let the other person take the lead. If it was a point of pride for them to foot the whole bill, I let them. If they wanted to split, that’s fine.

[@KufLMAO]

Clever!