you're losing me is a REVEALING portrait of taylor swift & joe alwyn

PATREON (DISCORD ACCESS): / swiftologist
NEW MIDNIGHTS TRACKLIST RESHUFFLE: open.spotify.c...
Don't be a stranger!
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💌 EMAIL: [e-mail]

[@theswiftologist]

AND WE HAVE AN UPDATE.....kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIe0YXqjgctnkJI

[@MotherPhlix]

I wrote about the update 5 months ago in response to this video including a set list tomeline similar to yours in the update.

[@bunnymoon9130]

I personally think that this breakup of hers was the most normal/plain one?? Like there weren’t any abusive elements, or betrayals, or emotional fights, etc. Their relationship ended like 80% of relationships end. And it’s kinda new to her and us as well, who only knew of her dramatic breakups, so the whole fandom is confused lol

[@c.shadou1897]

I feel like I’m alone in this fandom with everyone analyzing stuff saying how Joe must’ve been terrible to her etc. First time I listened I immediately thought this is the most realistic breakup song she’s ever written. It truly is how most long term relationships end (if they end). And that’s why it’s becoming my favorite. It’s so raw and real.

[@nishthagupta1357]

Who told you 80% relationships end like that?😂 did you do a stats?

[@nishthagupta1357]

​@@c.shadou1897 exactly same

[@bunnymoon9130]

@@nishthagupta1357 there’s a thing called “hyperbole”, it’s a rhetorical device, and I highly recommend checking out what it means and how it is used in informal speech :)

[@Th3Visitor]

Wait that makes alot of sense

[@greatobserver4072]

I knew Taylor and Joe weren't going to make it when she said "Don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse to your heart" in Bejeweled.

[@loribedore7184]

And she sure met the BAND, again 😅

[@fangirl9829]

yeaah, Bejeweled has some real ones. "I made you my world, but I can reclaim the land" and "and when I meet the band, they ask me if I have a man, I tell them I don't remember." It really has this divorced feel lol. Come to think of it, Lavender Haze had some pretty big warning signs. The sort of wishing to just stay in the 'lavender haze' of being infatuated but in real life he's just kinda laying there and not realizing how unhappy she is.

[@abbieelliott9850]

Same!! When I listened to that song for the first time I had a gut feeling the breakup was coming. Especially after watching the music video

[@Bea56601]

“And when I meet the band they ask do you have a man, I can still say I don’t remember” I thought that line was odd until the breakup was announced. Bejeweled is definitely about her and Joe and their dwindling romance

[@carolinemcgovern4488]

Bejeweled is a song that makes a lot more sense now.

[@NatashaTheRat]

One of the biggest issues was probably that she treated Joe like a god. Equal admiration is so important!

[@karlafgh_]

i totally agree

[@brandonthede7452]

She definitely did. She acted like she was some disaster-project, and he was some glowing example of how one should be. It was kind of good, because I still think that it helped Taylor realize that everyone has flaws and theres no such thing as a perfect person. I think that might've lead towards Matty Healy, possibly.

[@flamingaish]

isn't that what many swifties are doing rn? talking about joe like a god and her as some kind of naive disease? after all this time, nothing changed. they're still slandering her over her relationships.

[@kittycatlcvr]

this! in her mind he could do no wrong, so by default, shes the problem.

[@brandonthede7452]

@@flamingaish well, it's the genius marketing strategy of Joe Alwyn. As Taylor herself has said before, "0 times anything is still 0". He could be the worst person in the world but if he never speaks to the media there is no direct evidence of him being anything worse than neutral.

[@terezahynkova6504]

An interesting insight my friend has told me is that the line ´pathological people pleaser’ may be Taylor commenting on herself BUT ALSO possibly something Joe has said to her and I cannot get it out of my mind now

[@natinat1307]

i do think it's sth that Joe has said about her, it feels like that and it definitely broke me

[@Eras_Era13]

I could 100 see that

[@cotccsummers]

no thats so sad bro 😭

[@swiftafboii]

I'm sure he said that to her

[@annalupton9284]

fuck 😭

[@mrm4734]

To be honest the more taylor releases songs for the midnight's era, the more this album became more and more interesting and intriguing imo, this whole album and concept and what we thought it was and what we know now made this album skyrockets in my ranking, it makes it feel like a story unfolding in front of our eyes, and i am hooked, and I gotta say it is my favorite concept of an album by taylor

[@nikedecke766]

I totally agree!!! At first I was not that invested but this album and its meaning aged like fine wine.

[@mrm4734]

@@nikedecke766 yesss, 100%, i feel the same way about it

[@emilyonizuka4698]

yes! at first I was like meh not her best work. but now I'm definitely more interested. (I think it also just might be growing on me.)

[@eva-joycornell3402]

Just thinking about how innocent we all were several months ago, we knew nothing.

[@andressa7405]

Yeah, I wanna go back to that 🤧

[@ashleybree1407]

WE KNEW NOTHINGGGGG

[@eva-joycornell3402]

​@@ashleybree1407we were nothing knowers, truly clueless

[@MayaLove777]

I didn't even know she was in a relationship with Joe until I heard about the breakup I was very out of the loop 🙈

[@ashleybree1407]

@@MayaLove777 😂

[@skmarshall22]

Can you imagine being a diaristic artist but wanting to shield your partner from your darkest, pettiest, unhappiest, unfiltered emotions? I think it’s no wonder Taylor has masked so many songs as fiction or from the past.

[@jakestroll6518]

She’s said for years that he was her rock during the hard times. The Bester question is whether she ever reciprocated. Coz sometimes it sounds like she thought of him as an emotional support animal. An ever loving thing with no needs or fears or concerns of his own. He’s not into marriage, just break up. Don’t send your fans at him.

[@Mari-bj2rt]

​​@@jakestroll6518 I think you got it wrong. She is not sending anyone to him. In fact, swifties are siding more with Joe (since she started supposedly dating Matty). Personally, I think we should leave them all live their lives. But, anyways. If you read the lyrics dedicated to Joe (Peace, Invisible String, You're losing me, for exemple), they all paint him as a great person. She literally put him on a pedestal. So no, I don't think she saw him as an emotional support animal, but as the 'greater person' she herself wanted to become. The reality is she cared about him way more then he did care about her. Just see how he used to address her on interviews, while she just gushed over him (praised him) any time she had a chance... For god's sake, he couldn't even attend any big events with her (the Grammys, for instance, didn't attend even when he was compeating as well, as a writer for Folklore), while, she went with any C'lister acting events with him. And, not that it is wrong of him to be private or anyting. But it is weird not wanting to be on your girlfried's big carrer's markstones. If it happened to me, I would made me re-think my relationship... So, when I first listened to 'You're losing me' I interpreted it as a last plead to be together. She was trying as hard as she could to mantain the relationship, but when there is inbalance, the one doing all the work will eventually get tired ('even for a fenix', like herself). So, in some sense, we can aggree she 'desumanized' him, but not to treat him like a 'support animal', but to treat him like a 'flawless superior human being'. And, when you do this kind of thing (put people on a higher position, like they are morally superior to you, or have more 'honor' than you, as she wrote in 'Peace'), they start to take you for granted. 'You never know what you have until it's gone', that's what she's said in the song 'You're losing me'. I think that it is why they couldn't work in the long run. Relationships need balance.

[@elizzybec]

Thank you! I've noticed she disguises her subjects by changing pov or genders or names. But it was as least semi autobiographical.

[@danicallefornia]

@@jakestroll6518i agree, sadly. I think someone with a more normal life will be able to appreciate what he has to offer

[@AnimeBronx]

Taylor is going to be single until she’s 50. She needs the drama. Even if she’s got to make it up. It’s weird.

[@cruisevampire]

How does it feel to be right about EVERYTHING? "I'm the best thing at this party" the Grammys after party. You said it. You said it in APRIL

[@isaacroot5459]

It’s fascinating how Taylor can establish clear narratives and themes for a relationship after it ends in just a few moves and redirections. Zac is very good at recognizing these strategies, even before they are wholly obvious to the rest of us.

[@kidawesomeness123]

Hes is THE swiftologist. Hes earned the title. His interpretation of lavender haze holds up even months later

[@abigailh7715]

I believe, due to lack of normal socialization in her formative teen years that she was stunted developmentally in how real relationships work. She romanticized her life and seems to have expected it to play out like a Disney princess movie. Then when she found the guy who looks like an actual prince in the fairytales she fantasizes about, she thought it was a done deal. The prince automatically knows what princess needs, with no communication nor angst or staring at the ceiling in silence or storms in her eyes. It makes sense that her songs appeal so much to the age group that she is still mentally in.

[@Th3Visitor]

​​​​@@abigailh7715 most of her songs are targeted or just relates to 17- 25 year olds ig although there are ALOT of people in 26-35 in here & i agree with you i think her breaking up with joe was kinda- like it made me see that her bfs might not always be the peoblem (not saying its her) but as u mentioned stunted growth, & communication breaking up with some1 you've been with for that long obviously hurts alot but like they couldve avoided alot of pain & been more aware of their personality differences before beginning a relationship so they wouldve known they wont last & potentially avoid alot of things if finding the perfect guy is her goal then what she's doing right now might not work wether u like him or not most of us thought joe was the guy for her, if finding the right guy like in fairytales is one of her goals she really should think about the kind of person she wants to be with cuz lets not act like its not painfull to devote all you've got to a relationship just to break up & continue the cycle . ....that was long

[@abigailh7715]

@@Th3Visitor 100%

[@richmaxmchalliwchester1984]

@@abigailh7715 this is pretty accurate. During her middle school days she was bullied and lonely. Then she went to high school and had friends and dated. But then when she was just 16 she became a famous singer. She never got a chance to socially more develop and that might be a reason for her relationships falling apart, because Taylor never had a chance to learn how it really works and all she has is fantasies and fake examples from movies, books and fairytales.

[@jon.callaghan4165]

Hearing this song is so frustrating because it fits PERFECTLY with the Midnights concept (anxieties that keep you up at night), unlike many of the songs on the standard album, and it's a great song 👌🏻

[@hellsbells5389]

She NEEDS to release it…like dang my Apple Music needs it in my playlist

[@jon.callaghan4165]

@@hellsbells5389 she releases that karma butchering and doesn't release this 🤨

[@meghansullivan6812]

@@jon.callaghan4165 omfg right i wanted to like the remix but it just doesnt flow!

[@jon.callaghan4165]

@@meghansullivan6812 there's a charm to the og karma that is completely lost because the flow is interrupted

[@shilohgoes5544]

Idk I feel like most of the songs fit the bill.

[@SARAHBEGAN1]

I have been married twenty years and it’s alllllll about open and brutal communication said to a person who is willing to hear and work and change. It takes two. It’s possible to overcome things like falling in and out of love because feelings are fickle, but if they weren’t both receptive it was never going to work. And if she doesn’t learn the lessons it will never work. It’s not about finding the right person, it’s about choosing to BE the right person. It does sound like he wasn’t doing what she wanted but I’m not convinced what she wants is what’s going to result in a relationship for her long term and fair enough. She’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants. She can want what she wants. But I agree it sounds like she’s also being childish and that’s not sustainable.

[@abigailh7715]

I so agree! I feel like she is stunted emotionally and as a romantic, expected her life to play out like a Disney movie and be a forever princess. Joe literally looks the part as does she, but he wasn't caught up in a fairytale mentality as she was. He must have felt at times he was with a preteen dreaming of running through the forest with her prince coming for her on a white horse. It must have been daunting to try to have a real life with someone so lost in a dreamworld.

[@barebear0913]

I’ve listened to HS album about her and he said in the lyrics that “Why won't you ever say what you want to say?”. I think this is Taylor’s problem. She never directly communicates and instead just drop signs (aka easter eggs) expecting the other person to be a mind reader. Even in “You’re losing me”, she never says she said this to him and instead that she dropped signs. It’s not a recipe for a long-lasting relationship.

[@Lime1958]

Thank you! 👏👏👏

[@luinestablero5860]

Yes! I was like 'Girl, you gave signs? SIGNS? Don't wait, Speak Now!!!' Sounds like he didn't see it but she didn't speak either.

[@SARAHBEGAN1]

@@luinestablero5860 agreed, you can’t just expect him to read your mind. I literally spell out for my husband what I need and he does it! He’s not a mind reader and it’s ridiculous to expect him to be

[@Hostileminds]

I take the final blow line as foreshadowing a bit to how she may seem reckless now to others, she seems like she doesn’t care what people think about her relationship, she’s carefree now bc she cared so much at one point. I’m 100% here for her hot girl summer

[@swiftafboii]

Messy hot girl summer*

[@melodypetre5063]

It’s so interesting to see the Midnights songs taking on new meaning. I used to think Paris was kind of random, but now I think it’s potentially an escapist/in denial track. Wanting to go back to another time, back to the Lover era. Paris, City of Lover performance Confess my truth in swooping, sloping cursive letters - the Lover album font The second verse talks of privacy - if they keep the fallout private, it’s like the romance can still live on. “Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours” “I want to brainwash you into loving me forever”. Sidenote: Recently watched the official Paris lyric video and she totally soft launched the Speak Now TV font at “swooping sloping cursive letters”.

[@somewherefarfromsleep]

the "brainwash you into loving me forever" made me go ??? the first time I heard it

[@ag98534]

Agreed!

[@bombbay7529]

Omg you’re so genius

[@clashfan2875]

On the subject of Tolerate It. Taylor has always said she wrote it after reading Rebecca. I've always accepted that because I've read the novel and the relationship is an older man with a very young wife. It's been a long time since I've read it and I mean more than 20 years long so I didn't really think of the plot. I know she said it reminded her of a relationship where she didn't feel her love was appreciated but I think this is only partly true. The plot of Rebecca is so complex and it's a mystery/thriller not so much a love story. Warning plot spoilers ahead! Yes, it starts off as a love story but once they marry and return to Manderlay (his home) you have a third party causing the separation and manipulating both main characters. The distance is mostly because the bride (the name of the female lead is never given) is led to believe that her new much older and very rich husband is still in love with his dead wife who was named Rebecca. The third party is the housekeeper and she is a real literary villain. She totally plays mind games with the bride who then begins to distance herself from the husband. We find out later he is suffering being back in the home because his marriage was not the ideal it was thought to be. He hated Rebecca and she cheated on him with numerous men and in the end he killed her. The housekeeper who we find out was in love with Rebecca tries to kill the bride and burns down the mansion and dies in the fire. (I'm not a Gaylor so the fact that there is an unrequited lesbian love in this is not a point I'm trying to make). How do you get Tolerate It from this mayhem? I'm not saying it couldn't have triggered her mind I think it probably did. What I'm saying is if you read this kind of story, with a ton of twists and turns and a variety of themes and what you pull out of it is Tolerate It then that has to be living in your mind already. I just think that song has more to do with how she was feeling in her current relationship then we had thought. Coupled with other songs on Evermore? No I'm sorry they were in deep trouble at that point already.

[@swiftafboii]

I looooved Rebecca i didn't knew tolerate it was about it!!! This is so cool

[@megantyler0424]

such a good point! I had read Rebecca the year evermore came out and was confused how she got “tolerate it” from that. it all makes sense now!

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly same

[@clashfan2875]

@@britthunt5707 I had a whole moment myself with Willow yesterday. She is literally begging and casting love spells. Why did she feel like she needed to? The fact that Exile has all those film references and he's an actor.? The fact she has seen the ending before, hello Red? She gave us so many signs.

[@lkcullen1918]

​@@clashfan2875 "Begging for you to take my hand"

[@clarasuedi]

i've been watching you for a reallyyy long time now and can i just say it's SO refreshing to have a critical voice such as yours in the fandom

[@Marxnchill]

Yesssss like we love Taylor’s music but we’re not here to kiss a**. That’s true fandom 😇

[@SarahMerritt15]

Yessss that is why I loveeee him and he’s the only Swiftie channel I really trust

[@Vigilanteshitsupremancy]

Frrrrr

[@swiftafboii]

YESSSS!

[@chrish.6895]

Zack & Madeline have so much to offer that no one else does in the Swiftie space. I could listen to them for hours and hours.

[@kateayotte8109]

Once you get past the love-crazed beginning of a relationship, they are work. Nothing is easy even if you love the person. Each of you has to make the choice everyday to listen, communicate, and help each other. If one partner withdraws or isn’t open to changing with what the other needs , it is over. Having similar goals and values in the beginning helps, but those can change over time. I don’t think it is our place to blame or pass judgment on either Taylor or Joe for the relationship ending. That being said, this song guts me.

[@katelynm.9510]

All of this!

[@c.w.8200]

The Hollywood divorce/break up rate is so high because they can get anyone and date the next person within days, us normals though, we have to try and hold on to a relationship because we have a much harder time finding a partner, except you're super privileged with looks or wealth of course.

[@pixi78]

IMHO Taylor definitely wanted to marry Joe. “And I wouldn’t marry me either” seems like a response to an argument where Joe said he wouldn’t marry her.

[@nurergun]

Agree!!

[@rightwhereyouleftme__]

Loved your thoughts as always and very much agree. My theory on the relationship and subsequent breakdown: when they first met I think Taylor probably liked Joe's quiet normie vibe because she was searching for a different reality than the turbulent chaos her life had been for years. He felt like the opposite of what she had previously had. This only lasts for so long though and I think she eventually realised Joe's seemingly mature, thoughtful quietness was actually just a non-communicative person who probably needs therapy to learn how to discuss and address feelings properly. She implies Joe struggles with depression or anxiety and maybe he just retreats and becomes super unresponsive to her. Taylor strikes me as someone who likes to deep dive headfirst into discussing their feelings and professing their love to each other. She needs you to verbalise how much you love her multiple times a day, tell her she looks beautiful, praise her for her work etc. There isn't anything wrong with this, I am the same way. Some people just don't do this and find it unnecessary and I feel like Joe was probably one of those types. Their love languages were different. Now Taylor also seems like she can fake it for a while and convince herself she's happy and find the good, which it sounds like she did for a long time. That's why Joe maybe didn't read the signals she was sending, they were probably a bit mixed. Also if he's retreating and preoccupied with his own depression and anxiety maybe her emotional needs were consistently on the back burner. So when she finally sat him down and told him it was JOEVER he said "I don't understand" and she said, "I know". Then it sounds like he was running after her, didn't know what he had til it was gone etc. but it was too late because her mind was made up already. My theory with how Matty fits into this is... she became closer to him last year working on Midnights, performed at his show in January, worked together in the studio throughout February. While I don't know if she was actually cheating on Joe, I do think it was a catalyst that made her finally pull the plug on that relationship. If she wrote Question about Matty then these emotions for him were lingering and building up for a while. I think Matty probably made his feelings known, she had been unhappy with Joe for a while and realised it felt good to be wanted and pursued again. Matty may be many things but I know he is a certified simp when he's in love and is capable of writing beautiful love songs. That's a similar love language to Taylor, the ability to be poetic and sweet through song which Joe can't do for her. Do I think her and Matty will last? No idea, but maybe this is what she wants for now after having a non-communicative partner for so long.

[@twobluestripes]

I agree that Taylor describes Joe in her music as someone who is struggling with depression. I think their communication styles and their mental health struggles are a bit different to each other in a way that’s hard. I’m someone who would rather talk conflict out. People who I love and are conflict avoidant sometimes can’t deal with me in an argument, and them leaving the argument or shutting down enrages me. But even outside of a conflict, I deal with action and anxieties sometimes feel a bit manic. I carry a great deal of optimism even in difficult experiences. I’ve had a relationship with someone who dealt with stressors by giving up, shutting down, and his depression made him morose, pessimistic. It’s extraordinarily hard to be there for someone like that, and for them to be there for you during your own mental health struggles. Especially straight men, who (in my observation) seem to think that their girlfriend or wife is also supposed to be their best friend and therapist.

[@emilylabram]

This is extremely convincing. 💪🏻

[@rightwhereyouleftme__]

@Anna Timm yes, I definitely get the impression his depression and struggles took priority in their relationship, and as she stated, she tried to be the bravest soldier and help him. But in return, her needs were neglected and belittled (my pain is such an imposition) like he couldn't return the same support she had provided him. He minimized her pain and made her feel juvenile or needy for what she required from him. Like her problems were pretty insignificant. Taylor has typically been an optimistic person, even though it's obvious she has struggled significantly with things throughout her life. She has always powered through and made something good out of it. I do think it takes its toll though and she required a partner that could notice that burden she carries and help relieve it. Let's be real, there is pretty much no one who can relate to her, she must feel deeply alone sometimes. I can imagine having a partner who doesn't notice your pain would add to that isolation. Dear Reader fills in a big piece of the puzzle here, she describes what she feels so perfectly in that song. It seems like they reached that point where it was shit or get off the pot, buy a house, get married, have some kids or... split. And I still believe she chose to split. She was waiting for him to bring up the hard conversations and state what he wanted and it doesn't sound like he ever did.

[@husna8294]

I agree. That's what I feel happened too, but possibly they may have fallen for each other sometime last year, not exactly cheating, but feelings do develop and grow. (Thought snow on a beach might be about that, about her and matty) also feel that matty may be a more expressive person, so it might be a better fit for her or what she is looking for. And I am one of those types too, constantly needy on love and for verbal communication but married to a reserved and non communicative type of guy, but all marriages takes work. 💪🤲

[@antoniaweber5263]

omg agree, i always thought she painted joe as depressed in some kind of way and in the end their differences create so much friction.

[@kizzynanik]

The line “daring you to leave just so I can try to scare you” hits different now

[@nadergeeugene]

someone said in willow, that she was literally begging him to take her hand, could be alluding to marriage (how maybe she wanted to but he didn’t) “i’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans”

[@lavenderhazel]

oh my GOOD GRIEF how did I not make this connection in the past two and a half yearssss 😢

[@sabah1828]

Noooooo 😭😭😭😭 everything can be seen with a different meaning now 😫

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly

[@nishthagupta1357]

Also, "I'd beg you on my knees to stay" There's a lot of begging going on, which is not for a healthy relationship

[@karinaellora]

And also "Do something, babe, say something" "Lose something, babe, risk something" "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" "To believe, unless you're choosin' me"

[@mashpojayde-o]

I think the privacy became isolation. He didn’t show up for her in the ways that she would support him, yet would post all over instagram about his cast mates achievements. I’ve felt this since folklore era, that Taylor seems isolated, and I know she made a choice to go private, but she didn’t make a choice to be so fucking isolated from all of her friends when who she has always been was somebody who unapologetically always showed up for and celebrated her friends with so much love and joy.

[@GabrielaCenturionNeumann]

"My grandmother takes preference over you" is one of the sweetest things you have said ever

[@princessgarbage]

Personally, I think You're Losing Me was a really interesting way for her to channel her Grey's Anatomy obsession too. The final few lines of the bridge were def giving "dying on the operating room table watching loved ones stand by not even trying to save you" vibes and i'm sure that's how she was feeling about the relationship

[@ubemon]

There were reports saying Taylor and Joe were discussing marriage a couple of months ago. But I think Joe wanted "Sweet Nothings" for Taylor - a quiet life outside of the spotlight, where they get married and settle down and have children. I don't think Joe would have married a Taylor who wasn't prepared to let go of being a superstar. Taylor clearly doesn't like to hide her relationships. Watch her interview with Alan Carr where she says she doesn't want to hide like it's a crime. I get the sense that Taylor wants to have that power couple thing going on, whereas Joe was the totally opposite. That's me speculating anyway

[@angelamarie4137]

I agree. And I think she just wanted Joe to be proud of her and be proud to be seen with her. But Joe just wanted to hole away.

[@swiftafboii]

Such a good comment

[@madwoman_at.thelakes]

I fully agree. I think she wanted to keep it private in the beginning, because her rep was down, she was hiding from the world in general, didn't know if she would even get her career back, and was thrilled and flattered that this "perfect" man wanted her in spite of all that. Then there was quarantine, when she didn't know if public performances would ever be possible again, so the concept of being creative in a different way outside of the limelight likely appealed to her under those circumstances. But...everything went back to normal, her fame and popularity skyrocketed and she got another chance at huge success and touring again, but that wasn't what Joe had signed up for. She no longer had any reason to hide, because it's not her nature, but it is for him. She sacrificed a lot to stay out of the public eye for him, and he didn't want to acknowledge it was an issue because he was content with the status quo.

[@emmar557]

I think Taylor wanted children

[@Im_Julissa]

Taylor wants her private life to not be discussed or known yet Taylor wants to share her personal life outside but doesn’t want to face the consequences of it either. She totally has a TOXIC SIDE

[@darrahbydesign]

“We thought a cure would come through” - when they holed up together during the pandemic, I think they were already having problems but thought perhaps living together could fix them. “We loved this room because of the light. Now I just sit in the dark” is a parallel to Coney Islands “It gets colder and colder when the sun goes down” Remember she mentioned that they write the saddest songs together - how long can we be a sad song 🤔 evermore and folklore hold a lot of their problems woven in these hypothetical fantasy lyrics. One can only write sad songs with their partner so long before having to address WHY.

[@Shubhi3012]

Also in hoax, she says "my kingdom come undone"(probably referring to "We rule the kingdom inside my room" in "King of my heart) and in "you're losing me" she says "do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" She refers to "king of my heart" a second time too, she went from "my broken bones are mending" to "I'm tired even for a phoenix always rising from the ashes mending all her gashes."

[@sana2092]

Have you ever thought of doing a pre fame video essay? Like explaining Taylor’s life and how she got to where she was when she was working on debut. It’s obviously not normal for a teen to live a life like hers and I’d like for someone to dive deeper and in more detail into that

[@maryann2970]

Her early days at Big Machine was juicy. There's a New Yorker article that goes into some of the behind the scenes happenings and a blog in the Way Back Machine from an artist named Ella Mae/Kate Bowen who was at Big Machine as the same time as Taylor that details some never before heard events.

[@LaurenLaass]

This would be interesting.

[@LaurenLaass]

@@maryann2970😮

[@katie-rr9gl]

@@maryann2970 omg could you please link the article if you know where it is

[@st4rsholl0w]

YESSSS

[@antoniaweber5263]

lover was supposed be called daylight so its fitting that midnights is again about joe and their ending. in hindsight it makes perfect sense to me.

[@Eras_Era13]

I feel like Joe liked the version of Taylor when she was at her lowest and essentially not a threat. He was able to control her more - not even in a nefarious way, just in a way that he was able to make her fit into his idea of a “right” way of living. But once miss Tay came back stronger than a 90s trend, Joe didn’t understand why she wanted more, how ambitious she is, and he couldn’t fill a certain creative, passionate void in her life that she desperately searches for (“does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike…”)

[@stephane1623]

Such a great point, thanks for sharing!

[@marianletterio]

I guess it must be difficult being a relatively unknown person and start dating one of the most famous women on Earth. And it also must be difficult dating someone who doesn't seem to handle your level of success and fame. I don't know if we can say much about their relationship, as we don't know anything about their private lives, but I think that it's understandable that they broke up... I really hope that, if she decides to engage in a long term relationship in the future, she meets someone who supports and cherishes her

[@erin7800]

I think it's interesting as well bcoz while she was writing & releasing lover she admitted she thought this was the last time shed get that kind of pop star success - but then w folklore and evermore, and now midnights, shes more successful/popular than shes every been, whereas they both mightve thought her career would take a backseat in the future before the pandemic

[@ravenswood118]

That is such an unfair interpretation. To me, he just looks incredibly introverted, and so since he met her at a time when she wanted to lay low, he might have thought she was growing into a more introverted person, as well. And why wouldn't he? She was literally out there talking about how "we had decided to protect this relationship and keep it super private." Then the pandemic hit, which only enforced their cocoon. Eventually, she wanted to be extroverted and out there again, which isn't what he's into. As even their PR mentioned, it's just a personality difference. I don't know why you guys have to paint him as some controlling, abusive narcissist. It is beyond ridiculous. Even the song she wrote about the breakup doesn't point to that. Get a grip.

[@Eras_Era13]

@@ravenswood118please re-read my comment. I said I don’t think he did this in a nefarious way. They’re just different and when she was down, she was a version that he fell in love with. Not because he didn’t want her to be successful, but because she was literally ready to “run away with him.” I don’t view Joe as a villain at all. I’m sure she had some of her happiest moments with him, and they clearly loved each other very much. And let’s be honest, Taylor absolutely is not the most reliable narrator - there are always two sides and the truth. No need to be harsh with your comment, we’re all just sharing our opinions and of course none of us have any idea what actually happened.

[@Ana-yh8ek]

Jesus this song alone changed not only the way I see Midnights, but also folklore AND reputation. THE RED FLAGS I DIDN'T SEE.

[@MissSunFlower94]

your breakdown of the marriage situation is very similar to how my best friend broke up with her long term boyfriend. he was definitely expecting to marry her and have kids but wasn't taking any steps toward those goals and so when she started making future plans that didn't take that into consideration and he got upset she pointed that out and told him they obviously wanted different things and she wasn't going to wait. That is definitely the vibes I get from this breakup.

[@KodiSwandaOfficial]

I saw a theory about the Karma remix that I really think makes sense. North West and a lot of the Kardashian kids are huge Ice Spice fans, so the theory goes that Taylor got Ice Spice to feature on Karma specifically in hopes that North West will love the song and play it all the time around Kim 🤣

[@clashfan2875]

If I thought that was true I would stream the hell out of it. LOL. I like the MV cause its fun but the song is meh.

[@KodiSwandaOfficial]

@@clashfan2875 unfortunately the song is growing on me the more I listen to it. It helps if you use a software to speed up the rap verse and it sounds a lot better bc it’s more on beat

[@buckylovesplums_6731]

​@@KodiSwandaOfficial agreed!

[@izzy1793]

I don’t think her and Joe were exclusive at first and I think that was a problem through the relationship. She says stuff like “do the girls back home touch you like I do” “highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you” “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down” I think maybe this followed them through the relationship. A lot of hints at this in lover and folklore I think

[@Samantha-xi4xr]

I remembered her singing “I thought you were leading me on. I packed my bags left Cornelia Street “ 😢 this shows a lot of concern in the beginning too

[@elizzybec]

This! I have to admit I raised an eyebrow at the line in "The Great War" ' maybe is was egos swinging/maybe it was HER' and in "Are you ready for it?" she writes 'wonder how many girl he left haunted' AND the line in "Cowboy Like Me" 'and the ladies lunching had their stories about when you passed through town" so I wonder was JA a player? She painted him in that light sometimes.

[@teadora99]

​@elizzybec I think he wasn't a player so much as he probably had a past and that made her insecure. It reminds me of how I have felt in my relationship in the past in the sense that my partner has had a big past and sometimes it makes me feel a bit insecure, you wonder if another girl will come into his life, sometimes you question whether you're good enough, but it's just a matter of understanding that things may have happened in the past, but what matters is the present and the fact your partner is now currently choosing her. I think as well due to her getting with Joe as she left Calvin for Tom Hiddleston and then subsequently left Tom for Joe, she probably felt scared he might do that to her this time instead. At least that's my take on it.

[@izzy1793]

@@teadora99 love this take!!!

[@liacamp9]

i don't know if it makes any sense, but i interpret the album order like it was separated by her thoughts and feelings. to me it feels like from midnight to 3am, taylor is thinking about joe and her life choices concerning their relationship, which is enough to keep her up all night; and then by 3am, she's so broken from overthinking she's going back to past trauma, revisiting all those other nights she spent up when she was younger. the songs from the vault, like you're losing me, always felt more like a "final letter", like one last thing she has to say but only to herself, since they are way too raw and private (and they kind of give a "reading someone else's diary" vibe, idk). (also, if this is a based theory lmk, i'm new to the swiftie thing lol)

[@AJ-ny1ly]

Honestly, now that I’m thinking about it, it does kind of seem like a this is the break up because it starts with great war right and then she starts thinking about- Paris - being all lovey-dovey . And then she thinks about glitch and I know there’s one more but I can’t remember it does kind of follow the track of like here all these memories after the break up and then add her saddest point dear reader, because the whole rest of the album is essentially a lie or a cover-up of all these low points in the relationship

[@donardodavinci6126]

I don't even think Mastermind is as lovey-dovey as we all initially thought. Essentially it's about one person striving to be with this other person and planning all these things, making all this effort to finally be in a relationship with them... to then find out that they knew about the first person's hard work and overwhelming love all along, while only passively playing into it and not reciprocating half as much. Mastermind has made me question who Tolerate It refers to.

[@MindfulMya]

Honestly between you and chats and reacts are my go to swiftie friends lol 😂 you definitely make some great insightful points and honestly it’s so messy and chaotic and I love it. 😅

[@Sherlocked.Loki-Swift]

I've been waiting for this video!! Been looking forward to you weighing in on this. "You're Losing Me." Is incredible. To be honest for awhile i was really worried about this relationship. Something about it always bothered me. Especially how she always saw him as a prince who could do no wrong and yet he was practically never seen with her willingly. Like you can be on a red carpet with your AMAZING girlfriend and still be private. Btw literally when she announced Snow on the Beath with more Lana I literally was like, "I hope somehow Zach is happy" lol!! Edit... The fact that Taylor started her relationships with Joe on reputation with clearing her throat and ending it on Midnights with a sigh is amazing.

[@abigailh7715]

I think Joe was her dream guy, her prince. She did everything to please him including put a kabash on all publicity. I do believe however, due to lack of normal socialization in her formative teen years that she was stunted developmentally in how real relationships work. She romanticized her life and seems to have expected it to play out like a Disney princess movie. Then when she found the guy who looks like an actual prince in the fairytales she fantasizes about, she thought it was a done deal. The prince automatically knows what princess needs, with no communication nor angst or staring at the ceiling in silence or storms in her eyes and happily ever after. It makes sense that her songs appeal so much to the age group that she is still mentally in.

[@abigailh7715]

Some relationships work where one is reclusive. Dolly Parton's husband of half a century has never been seen nor even pictured in public.

[@kathylester2236]

Whenever I need clarification or an explanation when it comes to Taylor and her music, I go straight to this channel and it doesn't disappoint.

[@beomoa607]

i just love how we keep revisiting midnights again and again and everytime it just adds more layer to it. midnights became my second favorite album of taylors. honestly i kinda like this process hope she gives us more midnights songs lol

[@laurasampaio1891]

The feeling that I get is that Taylor is breathing freely now. When I first listened to Midnights, everything felt so... Anxious? Like she wanted to talk, but couldn’t? And for the last few years, I had this sense that she was taking very restrained breaths, but now she feels like she can slightly loosen herself up. She wants to spill it all out, and she’s managing to do that little by little, but something keeps her from doing it (and I honestly think it’s wise for her to grow into keeping some things private for her well-being). Even still, it kind of feels like she’s rekindling with her core self. Building a bridge between “girlhood” Taylor and the woman she has become. I hope I made some sense 😅.

[@yee3133]

made perfect sense!

[@mariiagellfonde2761]

This is one of the most heartbreaking songs of her discography😔

[@amyhansen6829]

The lyrics of You're Losing Me hooked me right away. However, I feel like the production has really grown on me. It starts out soft and progressively gets bigger. To me, I imagine it like how you give out warning signs in a relationship. Hey, red flag. Do something. Hey, red alert. Do something! Hey, FIVE STAR RED ALARM. Do something!!! And then it dies down again, because that means the relationship is finally over.

[@laurenjennings4104]

I love how he said he was distraught and shes like ok and pulls youre losing me out of pocket . Joe shut up!

[@selkarmi]

Valid point lol

[@tangyjenna]

I would honestly listen to you talk about literal dirt for an hour.

[@vivanesca]

yeah Id love a deep dive on john mayer as well

[@aseriesofsneaks]

I'm now starting to wonder if "High Infidelity" is actually about Joe and not Calvis Harris. Not that Joe posts much on Instagram, but it's interesting to note that Taylor liked almost all of his posts from August 2018 to April 26, 2022 - but none of his admittedly few posts since then. Did something happen on or around April 29 last year? I can't help but think there's a parallel between "You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love / The slowest way is never loving them enough" and "Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?" in "High Infidelity" and "I can't find a pulse / My heart won't start anymore" in "You're Losing Me".

[@graciekinsey2735]

Yoooooooo. THIS PART! 👏🏼

[@SJ_1992]

But she speaks about 'put on your records and regret me/put on your headphones and burn my city' - so that is very Calvin.

[@tayter_chip]

⁠@@SJ_1992 but also in Maroon (which I’m very sure is about Joe) she says “when the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf” so in high infidelity “put your records on and regret me” could be about Joe and not Calvin

[@piedpiper5886]

No. Infidelity is about Calvin Harris. Their relationship was all but over by March or April 2016. This was actually said by Calvin’s opening act in 2016. On April 29, while not officially broken up, she was ready to check out of the relationship with Calvin, and went to Gigi’s birthday, and she was introduced to Joe by Gigi, who knew because of photo shoots.

[@piedpiper5886]

@@tayter_chip Vinyl self is referring to Jake and his indie records. He was very much a hipster and listening to music that wasn’t Taylor’s. Maroon is just a darker version of Red, and implies Jake was not the big, vibrant red she though he was, but a darker version which damaged her.

[@nfbconnect]

"A true breakdown of communication and just two people falling out of love..." 💯 Agree!!!!! I see part of the vulnerability in this song is Taylor not placing full blame on him.

[@gloriaratcliffeszawlowski4797]

I feel like that she’s also mentioned her sadness a few times in this album. Maybe like many of us she’s depressed and he didn’t even notice let alone try to help her out. He was costing… and she’s like okay I actually don’t like being this private!

[@kirby8211]

he didn't read into her melancholia!

[@aurorarawy421]

I think the line about “I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser” is actually something that was said during a fight or smth. It seems as if she was repeating it in a bitter manner. Kind of like saying “yeah you know what you’re absolutely right, I wouldn’t love me either, I wouldn’t choose me when I’m so needy” It’s a thing that we do when we reach a real low during a fight or a bad time…?

[@katelynnrice4983]

I was too mad at the original version of snow on the beach bc I am a Lana STAN but this new version is SO GOOD

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

imagine if there was a lana only snow on the beach. i’d love to hear like an ultraviolence version of snow on the beach.

[@tsmidnights]

im sat and ready to hear the slander against the heirloom turkey 💀

[@sirendipitybritt]

Can’t agree with you more on how truly fantastical the new Snow on the Beach is! Just beautiful! And I also agree with your thoughts about the songs context.

[@antoniaweber5263]

i feel like she was more confident in rep than lover. so if the anxiety was already there in the beginning, they never found a way out of it

[@hannahh.3695]

I‘ve been waiting for this ever since the release of this song!!

[@giorgiafincato3596]

This theory makes so much sense. I think we have confirmation in her parts in 'the alcott'. She felt neglected "read my sentence out loud". But she wanted it to work "I love this curse on our house"

[@ashleybree1407]

HEYYYY! I’ve literally been watching you all weekend 😂 which sounds creepy BUT I have been living your elder swiftie takes and how you are critical of Taylor while still loving her music. I’ve been excited to hear what you said on your losing me. ❤️ thanks for being here!

[@dreamchaser7603]

Joe is an ISTP guy ( introverted, rational, progmatic, go with the flow, self-focused) and our girl Taylor is an Esfj ( extroverted, romantic, expressive, strategic, people pleaser). Plus, he has an avoidant/secure Attachment style, while Taylor has an anxious attachment style… „A cat and a mouse for month or two or three…„ It could never work…

[@alizalieb3962]

Honestly I think Taylor is more NF than SJ. ENFJ would be my guess.

[@nubesvaporosas7191]

She stood on a cliffside screaming "give me a reason" his faithless love was the only hoax she believed in 💔🔥 I LOVED you're losing me

[@noemielortie8988]

the way taylor seems to be in relationships is the way a lot of women are in straight relationships. i can relate to it. its like you go through the heartbreak during the relationship and then you decide to break up and the man is like wtff?? but shouldve seen it coming

[@felixtownn]

Yess that's why I was relating to Taylor so much!

[@AshR24]

We all lowkey hated on Jack Antinoff rolling his eyes whenever she spoke about Joe for the last few years, but she was really out here dropping the most heart-wrenching tracks and pretending like she was more in love than ever.

[@jessicadangerfield1539]

Jack and Aaron are on the frontlines of absorbing the fallout from anything going wrong in her relationships. They probably know where things are headed even before she does. I think Jack in particular is very clearly in tune with her intuition and not afraid to show it even if he doesn’t say anything, he shows it. As a fandom we owe him an apology big time. I know, personally, going forward I’ll be closely watching what he does & doesn’t do and say in these situations… he Knows, and he lets us in without betraying confidences or disrupting her processing processes.

[@Ajlikestraveling]

I totally agree. Jack would have seen the bad before we or maybe she even did (she probably knew, just 100% sure). I think the fandom does owe Jack an apology, Jack is allowed to have whatever feelings based on what Taylor tells him. He probably had things he wanted to say but didn’t.

[@ravenswood118]

Take this with a grain of salt because it was claimed by a stranger on the internet, but there is a person on ONTD who swears up & down that their friend has a connection to Joe, and that they've even hung out with Joe and Taylor before. Their claim is that Joe had simply fallen out of love and that he wanted the relationship to end. So ultimately even if Taylor was the one to break things off, it was because she saw he was completely checked out of the relationship. And that that's probably what the song is describing; Joe being checked out because he knew it was over & Taylor sensing that, rather than Joe "getting too comfortable." But who knows! Edit: I should also add that this person said this several weeks ago, way before You're Losing Me came out. And I just kind of think it's interesting that the song's lyrics reinforce this narrative. It sounds like a frustrated Taylor because she can feel Joe pulling away and he's stopped fighting for her.

[@akiraholland457]

Whats ontd?

[@Nivieee]

Ughh.. so he would have done that thing some men do when they don't know how to bring up that they wanna break up?! They just make their girlfriend's life a living hell so that she leaves him because they don't have the guts to do it.

[@ravenswood118]

@@Nivieee It's common for men and women to know the relationship is over for a long time before they end it. Far be it from me to defend a man, but you guys are so uncharitable to Joe that you force me to it. Taylor has cheated on on Calvin with Tom, then on Tom with Joe, and now possibly on Joe with Matty. She isn't a perfect person and he doesn't seem to have done anything awful. Just relax.

[@abigailh7715]

@@Mrs.Currie 🎯Thank you!

[@abigailh7715]

@@ravenswood118 both of your comments are so spot on. I 100% agree that all indications point to him wanting a different life and maybe was into her at first when they met and enjoyed the quiet non glitzy life during lockdown but realized after that she isn't the one he wants to spend his life with. I can see why she was so enamored with him. He's very refined and prince-like and for a romantic like her, I'm sure he was her dream guy who she saw forever with.. but he didn't feel the same and checked out. Hence her need for what he wasn't giving her because he wasn't feeling it.

[@austin3082]

I’m not even a fan of Lana’s music but what she did to snow on the beach made it my fav on the album, that was a PERFORMANCE

[@elenagerhardy2636]

Something about the cadence of the chorus in You’re Losing Me reminds me of RWYLM. The ‘stop’ at the top of the chorus really reminded me of ‘help’ in RWYLM; both make me stop in my tracks.

[@ascendednightingale2456]

Happy Birthday to your grandmother! I hope she has a great day and can eat cake!

[@elenagerhardy2636]

My favourite thing about the Karma MV is it helped counter the idea that the Ice Spice collab was entirely dreamt up 3 weeks ago as a PR stunt

[@dollythelama]

I think people pleaser has to do with the Industry AND her fans. Joe didn’t give her the attention SHE deserves or ANYONE deserves. Right now, Kielce IS giving her that attention AND is able to deal w her fame. I’m SOOO happy for her. Please make ANOTHER video about this. Love you!

[@codydufour83]

I think that midnights really was what she said it was. It was abt 13 nights of her life that kept her up. They all explore the different relationships, and she also has a few songs that seem to be abt Joe in a positive light mostly. Although, now that the relationship is over, she added "you're losing me" as a vault track to complete the album since he was the most recent breakup, and she wanted to explore her most meaningful relationship (since it certainly gave her a night or two without sleeping). I think, strategically, this was also her way of confirming the breakup to her fandom outside of the rumours and leaks

[@maybememory1]

Great point about the possible lack of validation. I think it’s worth noting that virtually their entire relationship came at a time when she wasn’t touring or performing much at all and, especially during covid, she didn’t really have that in-person fan adoration to fuel her.

[@mirandapillsbury7885]

We also need another video of you talking about Til The Dawn release strategy and stuff. We also need another video and another and another. We're obsessed with your analysis vids sis

[@dagmare.6357]

The question is whether the swifties that are siding with Joe, really side with Joe OR just the picture of Joe that Taylor has given us of Joe. Because that is two different things and we don't really know alot about Joe on an emotionally or deep level other than what Taylor has written in her lyrics. How can they side with a person, who they don't really know?

[@dagmare.6357]

@@agathamethyst45 thats also very true

[@nature598]

i can’t remember which artist said it but they made the point that validation from a lover is more fulfilling / meaningful and different than the validation you receive from people in the business/fans which is very interesting

[@jkmacrunnel]

I love this song so much! I can't imagine very many Swifties not loving it, its full of tea, great lyrics, great melodies and a solid production.

[@marcelabianchini8344]

I am Brazilian and I listen to your channel and podcast to learn English and your vocabulary is so rich, I learn so much from you. Thank you Mr Swiftologist

[@priscilafreitas9989]

Eu também! :)

[@adelecrowe7473]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING. watching random ppl’s reactions to you’re losing me to fill the zack shaped void

[@patc04]

For me, the breakup between them was the classic breakup between long-time couples. As Zach says in the video: after 6 years you either break up or commit to a future together. Joe came into Taylor's life at a very difficult time for her where she was giving too much of herself to public scrutiny and it was destroying her self-perception. This relationship taught Taylor the importance of privacy, of taking care of her intimacy and helped her heal from many issues she was facing during that time. Unfortunately once that all ended, what brought them together weakened. She tried to stay in that bubble for longer than necessary, but eventually realized she had to leave to be free. She had already learned all she could from the relationship and there was nothing left for either of them there. Joe seems to have all the characteristics of the typical emotionally detached Englishman and probably in the beginning of the relationship was not so noticeable because of the lavender haze, but after a few years that incompatibility between their personalities was taking a bigger toll on the relationship and could not be ignored. Many criticize that he did not attend her events, but there are multiple celebrity couples who practice this same strategy in their relationships (Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have never attended an event together since they have been a couple and they already have more than 10 years together and two daughters), that does not diminish the support they had for each other. It just goes to show that Taylor needed 6 years off from the kind of scrutiny that's going on right now and she got it. Now we let her enjoy her hot girl summer, she deserves it.

[@patc04]

And by no means I'm saying Joe taught her anything like some crazy swifties out there, but you sometimes need someone to support you through that journey and he did that. Once she reached her destination, he was left at the station.

[@akiraholland457]

I don't think taylor was being too revealing or that this happened for her lack of privacy.... If she had been extremely private this would have happened anyway cuz the public projects a mean evil shady Blonde persona on her.

[@cozy.living]

I think she definitely took an artistic license when she wrote Daylight, Invisible String, Mastermind, etc. They are more romantic than what their relationship really was. I feel like she wanted to be the power couple who stood by each other’s side during their great career moments, but I can see Joe not wanting to be associated professionally with a mainstream pop star. He wants to be more obscure.

[@carolclayton6442]

Personally, I don’t think Joe wants to be obscure at all. He’s an actor after all. I think he would be perfectly fine with Taylor’s level of fame, as long as it’s his fame. Every time he was asked about Taylor in an interview, he seemed irked. He wanted them to only ask questions about him. Reminded me of how Calvin practically dissed her abilities in an interview when the song she wrote with him was released. I believe Calvin was the sole reason she used a pseudonym. He didn’t want to share the limelight with her.

[@swiftafboii]

You know I do think she wanted to get married, i always got the feeling that in lavender haze she was trying to convince herself (and mostly US) into thinking that getting married was old fashioned and not suitable for her, altought i also think that she only wanted to get married WITH HIM bc she tought that would save the relationship.

[@anapesic4194]

I think she wanted to get married but hated that she was expected to get married. That's kinda how I interpreted lavender haze.

[@idkidc4594]

​@@anapesic4194 yeah, I don't think it was so much about "marriage is old fashioned". I think it was more of "the idea that all that matters about a woman is her marital status is an old fashioned one"

[@swiftafboii]

@@anapesic4194 that's such a good comment!

[@swiftafboii]

@@idkidc4594 yeah that sounds like her

[@laurenjennings4104]

Dont know why all these swifties are so upset. Sounds like she was stuck and suffering and now shes finally feeling good they want to stop it. It makes more sense her being with matty then it was joe

[@GabrielaCenturionNeumann]

YEEEEEEEES! It is on us to communicate if we are not happy with a situation. There are non-verbal ways to do this, yes. But it will never be the same as talking things through. My little sister mentioned after listening to the song that Taylor talks about a lot of non-verbal cues or signals throughout the song and she even thinks about what she wants her partner to do, but she never openly tells him that. At least not in the song. A good communication is key, you guys

[@LizAsInElizabeth]

Man some of these comments are not it. We don’t REALLY know anything about their relationship no matter how many songs have come out. Clearly, Joe is a private person and it just seems like they wanted different things. No need to say that he didn’t love her as much / support her as much (they were together for SIX years even though he knew she was an A-lister and they lead different lives). This song to me just proves that even with a lot of love, you have to be on the same page and they weren’t. It’s sad because it’s like how normal couples are. Lets just support both of them moving forward with whatever they do - Taylor would not want people coming after Joe!

[@carmyy17]

On her astrology, she’s also a Scorpio rising (I share this same placement). Scorpios are phoenixes rising from the ashes (that’s where that line comes from) because we can transmute our pain into something beautiful. For her it’s 2837372 Grammys and a loyal obsessed fan base. Scorpio is also fixed and REALLY resistant to change. Hence why she didn’t end it right away. We always hold out hope that it’ll get better. There’s also been major eclipses in the part of the chart that is associated with partnerships/marriage. So really this all makes so much sense.

[@tobygittleman6224]

The way I've been waiting for this video all week. Thank you, and happy belated to your grandma !

[@klu5301]

One positive is that she is projected to go back to #1 on the Billboard 200 next week (6/5/23) with around 275K-300K units sold after releasing the extended edition of Midnights which will knock Morgan Wallen down to #2 for the first time sense his album dropped. Taylor needed to let them know who’s in charge lol.

[@onyourownkid.]

I literally cannot tolerate social media rn you're my salvation as always

[@KyleOgilvie1]

There is something about You’re Losing Me that reminds me of All You Had To Do Was Stay, namely in the last part of the bridge where she says ‘do something babe, say something.’ Etc. The themes of the songs line up, Harry didn’t stay when that’s what she wanted, Joe didn’t risk anything like she wanted. To me they are at least half sisters.

[@alexlefay]

Ice Spice is the literal definition of "go on queen, give us nothing!".

[@JasmineBella]

I keep crying listening to the sign and thinking of her in this situation. Everyone has felt ignored at some point. Also I love how she says you’re losing ME because it shows that she gained self esteem !!! I imagine her wanting to grab Joe by the collar and say “tell me how much you love me like I have for you all these years !!!”

[@katelynnrice4983]

I have literally been waiting for you to post all weekend bc of every crazy thing that has happened! Can’t wait to see your karma reaction

[@leslie.fromthevault.]

The Taylor as a forest scene in the Karma MV was cool, but for me it looked too much like the lady from Moana to really take seriously.

[@tpstps85]

Maybe it was on purpose? Maybe, just like Te Fiti, she got her heart back?

[@leslie.fromthevault.]

That actually is really cute. I love that.

[@madwoman_at.thelakes]

Well, Lin Manuel Miranda was in the audience when she did the music video premiere, and his bio quotes mastermind lyrics, so...the reference may be strategic.

[@theaxx1214]

@@madwoman_at.thelakes omg taylor swift written disney movie or broadway musical coming when?

[@kchoppe9594]

Taylor clearly is a force and she admits in Me, I know that I’m a handful…. It will take a particular person to share her world. There’s a great duet with Sheryl Crow and Stevie Nicks singing Sheryl’s song Strong Enough. They discuss it before singing and how hard it is to find a man that can deal with all that they are! They both never married. Listen to the lyrics. It’s pretty cool and I’ve never forgotten that performance.

[@antoniaweber5263]

you know theres many different ways that you can kill the one you love the slowest way is never loving them enough

[@Rosie-rx5ry]

Everyone is saying this song is so sad. To me it just sounds like she grew tired of him. Which I guess is sad if you think back to Cornelia Street, Cruel Summer. It's like her fear came true. Remember when she wrote Death by a Thousand cuts that she was scared that would happen. No big fight or drama. It just kinda died for her.

[@iwouldgiveyouthemoon_]

this. that's why it bothers me that people are hating on joe. it seems like their relationship just...fizzled out.

[@Rosie-rx5ry]

@@iwouldgiveyouthemoon_I can't see Joe as the bad guy when he seemed very supportive. We will never hear his side of the story because he's so private. But must be hard to see his ex move on so soon and tell everyone she's never been happier.

[@iwouldgiveyouthemoon_]

@@Rosie-rx5ry thank you for being someone who understands!! i feel scared to say that i'm kinda team joe on this one until we get more information

[@mindaurra1525]

It’s so interesting because in this song she says “mending all my gashes” which immediately reminded me of death by a thousand cuts

[@sarahmcdonough2307]

It might have fizzled out, but what about the great unfollowing of Joe Alwyn and very public signals that there was actually more drama there? I'm still not convinced you'd be that pissed for a breakup where the love just died on both sides, I think there is more to the story and this song was only part of the breakdown of their relationship

[@loribedore7184]

Right before the news broke of the “break up” they both sang gut wrenching songs at their concerts. She on her piano and he did an acoustic on his guitar. News was that she was tearing up, voice cracking and trembling. Must be rough being Taylor Swift with so many fans thinking they have the right or privilege to suggest who she should be with.

[@biceismyfavorite]

Who?

[@itsalexithink8856]

looking back, happiness hits the most "i cant make it go away by making you a villain, I gues its the price I play for 7 yrs in heaven" LIKEEEEEEEEE the song is just to me at least represents how taylor feels rn, even tho its from 2020 lolz

[@honeychild4]

For me Midnights remains an album about the past throughout her life, I think the themes of Bejeweled and Midnight Rain, or even Maroon are so universal in the TS Universe that they could fit into any relationship other than the specific relationship that her music refers. So for me You're Losing Me is not a direct confirmation that Bejeweled, Midnight Rain etc are about Joe, but that it's a bonus of the era and the album. For me Bejeweled thematically fitting her relationship with Joe doesn't mean that it's about him or that she wrote it with him in mind, rather that because the theme the song addresses is so universal it ends up working for their breakup. A coincidence indeed. In her Fearless Platinum interview for Apple, i think, Taylor pointed out that she always continues writing after an album is released and that sometimes these songs end up being included in extended versions of the album, precisely because they are still part of the album's theme even though they were not written in the period before the album creation process. Ex: Jump Then Fall, New Romantics. For me this song is the closure of the closure like a Dear Reader/It's Time to Go type ending but ending Midnights reflecting about the current midnight she is dealing with. And Hits Different is 100% about Joe, but now we need to wait for TS11 to confirm us the cronological line of the breakup to know if Hits Different it's about a an early breakup while she was with Tom, whether it's a near-breakup like The Great War or False God, or whether she actually wrote it when they broke up for good and she decided to include it as a Target bonus track.

[@giuliabonechi1864]

Veeery interesting take.

[@baileymcbride18]

The only thing I wish that the more Lana SOTB had is the outro from the original. That "it's coming down, it's coming down..." was so beautiful and my favourite part of it.

[@ManuelaMoraes]

I still haven't seen anyone mentioning what I think could've happened between Taylor and Joe. It may seem crazy but hear me out: I think she really had a miscarriage (from what she tells in Bigger Than The Whole Sky) and they grew apart after that. It's VERY common for that to happen to couples after experiencing such a loss, especially non-married couples. Maybe she was in deep pain after that and he grew even more distant than he naturally is to cope with the pain in his own way. Maybe that was one of the blows before the last blow? Does it make sense to you guys too?

[@Thisismeofcourse]

16:46 : i agree. Taylor does strike me as someone who's extremely emotionally intelligent. Being with someone who is not quite so becomes a burden

[@gennyolson2257]

I think Taylor is a performer. And she is fantastic at it and truly enjoys it. I think Joe is shy and does not like the attention. I believe their relationship worked as long as it did because of the pandemic. She couldn't tour and they were together a lot and truly enjoyed each other. But once the pandemic was over and Taylor could tour again i believe Joe didnt enjoy that part of their relationship. He is private and she likes to shimmer.💕

[@rabbitqueen7075]

The breakup story starts in Lover, it's wild. If you listen to "Afterglow" and then "You're Losing Me," it's like Taylor realized she was being a little too kind. In Afterglow, she's saying she doesn't want to lose him so she NEEDS to say it's all her, it's all in her head, just don't go. Then in tolerate it, she realizes it might not be in her head after all and starts to think about leaving, saying "believe me, I could do it - if it's all in my head tell me now." They fought about this over the years until she was finally done. WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE HER ART SO MUCH.

[@justsomegirl_xiii]

The way this song gives new meaning to so much of her discography 🫢