you're losing me is a REVEALING portrait of taylor swift & joe alwyn

[@theswiftologist]

AND WE HAVE AN UPDATE.....kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIe0YXqjgctnkJI

[@MotherPhlix]

I wrote about the update 5 months ago in response to this video including a set list tomeline similar to yours in the update.

[@bunnymoon9130]

I personally think that this breakup of hers was the most normal/plain one?? Like there weren’t any abusive elements, or betrayals, or emotional fights, etc. Their relationship ended like 80% of relationships end. And it’s kinda new to her and us as well, who only knew of her dramatic breakups, so the whole fandom is confused lol

[@c.shadou1897]

I feel like I’m alone in this fandom with everyone analyzing stuff saying how Joe must’ve been terrible to her etc. First time I listened I immediately thought this is the most realistic breakup song she’s ever written. It truly is how most long term relationships end (if they end). And that’s why it’s becoming my favorite. It’s so raw and real.

[@nishthagupta1357]

Who told you 80% relationships end like that?😂 did you do a stats?

[@nishthagupta1357]

​@@c.shadou1897 exactly same

[@bunnymoon9130]

@@nishthagupta1357 there’s a thing called “hyperbole”, it’s a rhetorical device, and I highly recommend checking out what it means and how it is used in informal speech :)

[@Th3Visitor]

Wait that makes alot of sense

[@nadergeeugene]

someone said in willow, that she was literally begging him to take her hand, could be alluding to marriage (how maybe she wanted to but he didn’t) “i’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans”

[@lavenderhazel]

oh my GOOD GRIEF how did I not make this connection in the past two and a half yearssss 😢

[@sabah1828]

Noooooo 😭😭😭😭 everything can be seen with a different meaning now 😫

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly

[@nishthagupta1357]

Also, "I'd beg you on my knees to stay" There's a lot of begging going on, which is not for a healthy relationship

[@karinaellora]

And also "Do something, babe, say something" "Lose something, babe, risk something" "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" "To believe, unless you're choosin' me"

[@greatobserver4072]

I knew Taylor and Joe weren't going to make it when she said "Don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse to your heart" in Bejeweled.

[@loribedore7184]

And she sure met the BAND, again 😅

[@fangirl9829]

yeaah, Bejeweled has some real ones. "I made you my world, but I can reclaim the land" and "and when I meet the band, they ask me if I have a man, I tell them I don't remember." It really has this divorced feel lol. Come to think of it, Lavender Haze had some pretty big warning signs. The sort of wishing to just stay in the 'lavender haze' of being infatuated but in real life he's just kinda laying there and not realizing how unhappy she is.

[@abbieelliott9850]

Same!! When I listened to that song for the first time I had a gut feeling the breakup was coming. Especially after watching the music video

[@Bea56601]

“And when I meet the band they ask do you have a man, I can still say I don’t remember” I thought that line was odd until the breakup was announced. Bejeweled is definitely about her and Joe and their dwindling romance

[@carolinemcgovern4488]

Bejeweled is a song that makes a lot more sense now.

[@NatashaTheRat]

One of the biggest issues was probably that she treated Joe like a god. Equal admiration is so important!

[@karlafgh_]

i totally agree

[@brandonthede7452]

She definitely did. She acted like she was some disaster-project, and he was some glowing example of how one should be. It was kind of good, because I still think that it helped Taylor realize that everyone has flaws and theres no such thing as a perfect person. I think that might've lead towards Matty Healy, possibly.

[@flamingaish]

isn't that what many swifties are doing rn? talking about joe like a god and her as some kind of naive disease? after all this time, nothing changed. they're still slandering her over her relationships.

[@kittycatlcvr]

this! in her mind he could do no wrong, so by default, shes the problem.

[@brandonthede7452]

@@flamingaish well, it's the genius marketing strategy of Joe Alwyn. As Taylor herself has said before, "0 times anything is still 0". He could be the worst person in the world but if he never speaks to the media there is no direct evidence of him being anything worse than neutral.

[@terezahynkova6504]

An interesting insight my friend has told me is that the line ´pathological people pleaser’ may be Taylor commenting on herself BUT ALSO possibly something Joe has said to her and I cannot get it out of my mind now

[@natinat1307]

i do think it's sth that Joe has said about her, it feels like that and it definitely broke me

[@Eras_Era13]

I could 100 see that

[@wutheringheights1]

no thats so sad bro 😭

[@swiftafboii]

I'm sure he said that to her

[@annalupton9284]

fuck 😭

[@mrm4734]

To be honest the more taylor releases songs for the midnight's era, the more this album became more and more interesting and intriguing imo, this whole album and concept and what we thought it was and what we know now made this album skyrockets in my ranking, it makes it feel like a story unfolding in front of our eyes, and i am hooked, and I gotta say it is my favorite concept of an album by taylor

[@nikedecke766]

I totally agree!!! At first I was not that invested but this album and its meaning aged like fine wine.

[@mrm4734]

@@nikedecke766 yesss, 100%, i feel the same way about it

[@emilyonizuka4698]

yes! at first I was like meh not her best work. but now I'm definitely more interested. (I think it also just might be growing on me.)

[@cruisevampire]

How does it feel to be right about EVERYTHING? "I'm the best thing at this party" the Grammys after party. You said it. You said it in APRIL

[@eva-joycornell3402]

Just thinking about how innocent we all were several months ago, we knew nothing.

[@andressa7405]

Yeah, I wanna go back to that 🤧

[@ashleybree1407]

WE KNEW NOTHINGGGGG

[@eva-joycornell3402]

​@@ashleybree1407we were nothing knowers, truly clueless

[@MayaLove777]

I didn't even know she was in a relationship with Joe until I heard about the breakup I was very out of the loop 🙈

[@ashleybree1407]

@@MayaLove777 😂

[@skh-22]

Can you imagine being a diaristic artist but wanting to shield your partner from your darkest, pettiest, unhappiest, unfiltered emotions? I think it’s no wonder Taylor has masked so many songs as fiction or from the past.

[@jakestroll6518]

She’s said for years that he was her rock during the hard times. The Bester question is whether she ever reciprocated. Coz sometimes it sounds like she thought of him as an emotional support animal. An ever loving thing with no needs or fears or concerns of his own. He’s not into marriage, just break up. Don’t send your fans at him.

[@Mari-bj2rt]

​​@@jakestroll6518 I think you got it wrong. She is not sending anyone to him. In fact, swifties are siding more with Joe (since she started supposedly dating Matty). Personally, I think we should leave them all live their lives. But, anyways. If you read the lyrics dedicated to Joe (Peace, Invisible String, You're losing me, for exemple), they all paint him as a great person. She literally put him on a pedestal. So no, I don't think she saw him as an emotional support animal, but as the 'greater person' she herself wanted to become. The reality is she cared about him way more then he did care about her. Just see how he used to address her on interviews, while she just gushed over him (praised him) any time she had a chance... For god's sake, he couldn't even attend any big events with her (the Grammys, for instance, didn't attend even when he was compeating as well, as a writer for Folklore), while, she went with any C'lister acting events with him. And, not that it is wrong of him to be private or anyting. But it is weird not wanting to be on your girlfried's big carrer's markstones. If it happened to me, I would made me re-think my relationship... So, when I first listened to 'You're losing me' I interpreted it as a last plead to be together. She was trying as hard as she could to mantain the relationship, but when there is inbalance, the one doing all the work will eventually get tired ('even for a fenix', like herself). So, in some sense, we can aggree she 'desumanized' him, but not to treat him like a 'support animal', but to treat him like a 'flawless superior human being'. And, when you do this kind of thing (put people on a higher position, like they are morally superior to you, or have more 'honor' than you, as she wrote in 'Peace'), they start to take you for granted. 'You never know what you have until it's gone', that's what she's said in the song 'You're losing me'. I think that it is why they couldn't work in the long run. Relationships need balance.

[@elizzybec]

Thank you! I've noticed she disguises her subjects by changing pov or genders or names. But it was as least semi autobiographical.

[@danicallefornia]

@@jakestroll6518i agree, sadly. I think someone with a more normal life will be able to appreciate what he has to offer

[@AnimeBronx]

Taylor is going to be single until she’s 50. She needs the drama. Even if she’s got to make it up. It’s weird.

[@saima.nijhum]

Taylor loved Joe more than he loved her. Rewatch all the Videos of them being together. If Joe gave Taylor one pat on the back, Taylor patted 3 times. Paper Rings was a wistful song. Peace was a confessional song. Champagne problems was a reverse psychology song. Lavender Haze is a gaslighting song for her to herself. All these songs, she tried to tell him to make the decision. She always wanted him to marry her. Joe gave her sweet nothing. He was just there and he grew comfortable. It wasn’t enough, OBVIOUSLY.

[@Violet316]

When "you're losing me" came out, my mind went to "Exile".

[@miriamwilliam3853]

Somebody finally see things d way it is obviously...

[@bug3954]

so well put

[@nishthagupta1357]

Omg yes EXACTLY!

[@nishthagupta1357]

​@@Violet316 same. My mind went to Afterglow's self doubt. "Hey its all me, just dont go, meet me in the afterglow"

[@isaacroot5459]

It’s fascinating how Taylor can establish clear narratives and themes for a relationship after it ends in just a few moves and redirections. Zac is very good at recognizing these strategies, even before they are wholly obvious to the rest of us.

[@kidawesomeness123]

Hes is THE swiftologist. Hes earned the title. His interpretation of lavender haze holds up even months later

[@abigailh7715]

I believe, due to lack of normal socialization in her formative teen years that she was stunted developmentally in how real relationships work. She romanticized her life and seems to have expected it to play out like a Disney princess movie. Then when she found the guy who looks like an actual prince in the fairytales she fantasizes about, she thought it was a done deal. The prince automatically knows what princess needs, with no communication nor angst or staring at the ceiling in silence or storms in her eyes. It makes sense that her songs appeal so much to the age group that she is still mentally in.

[@Th3Visitor]

​​​​@@abigailh7715 most of her songs are targeted or just relates to 17- 25 year olds ig although there are ALOT of people in 26-35 in here & i agree with you i think her breaking up with joe was kinda- like it made me see that her bfs might not always be the peoblem (not saying its her) but as u mentioned stunted growth, & communication breaking up with some1 you've been with for that long obviously hurts alot but like they couldve avoided alot of pain & been more aware of their personality differences before beginning a relationship so they wouldve known they wont last & potentially avoid alot of things if finding the perfect guy is her goal then what she's doing right now might not work wether u like him or not most of us thought joe was the guy for her, if finding the right guy like in fairytales is one of her goals she really should think about the kind of person she wants to be with cuz lets not act like its not painfull to devote all you've got to a relationship just to break up & continue the cycle . ....that was long

[@abigailh7715]

@@Th3Visitor 100%

[@richmaxmchalliwchester1984]

@@abigailh7715 this is pretty accurate. During her middle school days she was bullied and lonely. Then she went to high school and had friends and dated. But then when she was just 16 she became a famous singer. She never got a chance to socially more develop and that might be a reason for her relationships falling apart, because Taylor never had a chance to learn how it really works and all she has is fantasies and fake examples from movies, books and fairytales.

[@Ana-yh8ek]

Lavender Haze has a sour taste now. It feels as if she was convincing herself that what HE wanted was what she wanted too, like gaslighting herself lol

[@carissalynne104]

yeah, like she always seemed very excited to get married (paper rings, etc.) and then all of a sudden she’s singing like “the only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife”??? and even on Paris when she says “romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours”… i wonder if she was feeling more ready to be public and joe wouldn’t do it? idk we’ll never know, it just seems like she was convincing herself.

[@vixen7774]

I think the song was about trying to keep them at the lavender haze

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly IKR

[@nishthagupta1357]

​@@carissalynne104 omg ikr. It wasn't her. She's a bubbly girl who wants marriage as well

[@barebear0913]

Please do not use gaslighting lightly. I swear the internet saw the word and run with it. Gaslighting is abuse and him not wanting to marry her doesn’t mean he was abusing her.

[@Hostileminds]

I take the final blow line as foreshadowing a bit to how she may seem reckless now to others, she seems like she doesn’t care what people think about her relationship, she’s carefree now bc she cared so much at one point. I’m 100% here for her hot girl summer

[@swiftafboii]

Messy hot girl summer*

[@jon.callaghan4165]

Hearing this song is so frustrating because it fits PERFECTLY with the Midnights concept (anxieties that keep you up at night), unlike many of the songs on the standard album, and it's a great song 👌🏻

[@hellsbells5389]

She NEEDS to release it…like dang my Apple Music needs it in my playlist

[@jon.callaghan4165]

@@hellsbells5389 she releases that karma butchering and doesn't release this 🤨

[@meghansullivan6812]

@@jon.callaghan4165 omfg right i wanted to like the remix but it just doesnt flow!

[@jon.callaghan4165]

@@meghansullivan6812 there's a charm to the og karma that is completely lost because the flow is interrupted

[@shilohgoes5544]

Idk I feel like most of the songs fit the bill.

[@melodypetre5063]

It’s so interesting to see the Midnights songs taking on new meaning. I used to think Paris was kind of random, but now I think it’s potentially an escapist/in denial track. Wanting to go back to another time, back to the Lover era. Paris, City of Lover performance Confess my truth in swooping, sloping cursive letters - the Lover album font The second verse talks of privacy - if they keep the fallout private, it’s like the romance can still live on. “Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours” “I want to brainwash you into loving me forever”. Sidenote: Recently watched the official Paris lyric video and she totally soft launched the Speak Now TV font at “swooping sloping cursive letters”.

[@somewherefarfromsleep]

the "brainwash you into loving me forever" made me go ??? the first time I heard it

[@ag98534]

Agreed!

[@bombbay7529]

Omg you’re so genius

[@SARAHBEGAN1]

I have been married twenty years and it’s alllllll about open and brutal communication said to a person who is willing to hear and work and change. It takes two. It’s possible to overcome things like falling in and out of love because feelings are fickle, but if they weren’t both receptive it was never going to work. And if she doesn’t learn the lessons it will never work. It’s not about finding the right person, it’s about choosing to BE the right person. It does sound like he wasn’t doing what she wanted but I’m not convinced what she wants is what’s going to result in a relationship for her long term and fair enough. She’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants. She can want what she wants. But I agree it sounds like she’s also being childish and that’s not sustainable.

[@abigailh7715]

I so agree! I feel like she is stunted emotionally and as a romantic, expected her life to play out like a Disney movie and be a forever princess. Joe literally looks the part as does she, but he wasn't caught up in a fairytale mentality as she was. He must have felt at times he was with a preteen dreaming of running through the forest with her prince coming for her on a white horse. It must have been daunting to try to have a real life with someone so lost in a dreamworld.

[@barebear0913]

I’ve listened to HS album about her and he said in the lyrics that “Why won't you ever say what you want to say?”. I think this is Taylor’s problem. She never directly communicates and instead just drop signs (aka easter eggs) expecting the other person to be a mind reader. Even in “You’re losing me”, she never says she said this to him and instead that she dropped signs. It’s not a recipe for a long-lasting relationship.

[@Lime1958]

Thank you! 👏👏👏

[@luinestablero5860]

Yes! I was like 'Girl, you gave signs? SIGNS? Don't wait, Speak Now!!!' Sounds like he didn't see it but she didn't speak either.

[@SARAHBEGAN1]

@@luinestablero5860 agreed, you can’t just expect him to read your mind. I literally spell out for my husband what I need and he does it! He’s not a mind reader and it’s ridiculous to expect him to be

[@darrahbydesign]

In You’re Loosing Me, she references lines and metaphors from every song on Evermore and Folklore that Joe helped write. I wrote a whole analysis of it, but don’t have anywhere else to talk about it because none of my friends are swifties 😭

[@melodypetre5063]

I want to hear it!!

[@KpopLover1013]

So do i!

[@jellynelly25]

Write it out here!

[@erickaaamarieee]

Yeah share with us!

[@sarahmunson1778]

I wanna read it!!

[@kateayotte8109]

Once you get past the love-crazed beginning of a relationship, they are work. Nothing is easy even if you love the person. Each of you has to make the choice everyday to listen, communicate, and help each other. If one partner withdraws or isn’t open to changing with what the other needs , it is over. Having similar goals and values in the beginning helps, but those can change over time. I don’t think it is our place to blame or pass judgment on either Taylor or Joe for the relationship ending. That being said, this song guts me.

[@katelynm.9510]

All of this!

[@c.w.8200]

The Hollywood divorce/break up rate is so high because they can get anyone and date the next person within days, us normals though, we have to try and hold on to a relationship because we have a much harder time finding a partner, except you're super privileged with looks or wealth of course.

[@clarasuedi]

i've been watching you for a reallyyy long time now and can i just say it's SO refreshing to have a critical voice such as yours in the fandom

[@Marxnchill]

Yesssss like we love Taylor’s music but we’re not here to kiss a**. That’s true fandom 😇

[@SarahMerritt15]

Yessss that is why I loveeee him and he’s the only Swiftie channel I really trust

[@Vigilanteshitsupremancy]

Frrrrr

[@swiftafboii]

YESSSS!

[@chrish.6895]

Zack & Madeline have so much to offer that no one else does in the Swiftie space. I could listen to them for hours and hours.

[@jsmamaforever]

Ice Spice is the last person I ever expected Taylor to collab with. It sounds like ice spice is flat and stale, with no emotion. And the “facts” and “grah” made me laugh out loud.

[@jessicaday22]

it was so bad and not organic at all

[@aaliyahfoster2705]

I always hear Boy's A Liar on the radio and they always play the version with Ice Spice on it. I never really got the appeal for her deadpan rap style. Pinkpantheress and her didn't mesh at all. It felt like two different songs and the Karma remix makes it even more clear.

[@kidawesomeness123]

I feel like that is what she was going for. I can appreciate it for being uncanny and camp

[@Nivieee]

Omg I laughed at the "facts" too 😂 what the hell?

[@moon_luna333]

'facts' literally killed me😭😭

[@kizzynanik]

The line “daring you to leave just so I can try to scare you” hits different now

[@GabrielaCenturionNeumann]

"My grandmother takes preference over you" is one of the sweetest things you have said ever

[@mashpojayde-o]

I think the privacy became isolation. He didn’t show up for her in the ways that she would support him, yet would post all over instagram about his cast mates achievements. I’ve felt this since folklore era, that Taylor seems isolated, and I know she made a choice to go private, but she didn’t make a choice to be so fucking isolated from all of her friends when who she has always been was somebody who unapologetically always showed up for and celebrated her friends with so much love and joy.

[@clashfan2875]

On the subject of Tolerate It. Taylor has always said she wrote it after reading Rebecca. I've always accepted that because I've read the novel and the relationship is an older man with a very young wife. It's been a long time since I've read it and I mean more than 20 years long so I didn't really think of the plot. I know she said it reminded her of a relationship where she didn't feel her love was appreciated but I think this is only partly true. The plot of Rebecca is so complex and it's a mystery/thriller not so much a love story. Warning plot spoilers ahead! Yes, it starts off as a love story but once they marry and return to Manderlay (his home) you have a third party causing the separation and manipulating both main characters. The distance is mostly because the bride (the name of the female lead is never given) is led to believe that her new much older and very rich husband is still in love with his dead wife who was named Rebecca. The third party is the housekeeper and she is a real literary villain. She totally plays mind games with the bride who then begins to distance herself from the husband. We find out later he is suffering being back in the home because his marriage was not the ideal it was thought to be. He hated Rebecca and she cheated on him with numerous men and in the end he killed her. The housekeeper who we find out was in love with Rebecca tries to kill the bride and burns down the mansion and dies in the fire. (I'm not a Gaylor so the fact that there is an unrequited lesbian love in this is not a point I'm trying to make). How do you get Tolerate It from this mayhem? I'm not saying it couldn't have triggered her mind I think it probably did. What I'm saying is if you read this kind of story, with a ton of twists and turns and a variety of themes and what you pull out of it is Tolerate It then that has to be living in your mind already. I just think that song has more to do with how she was feeling in her current relationship then we had thought. Coupled with other songs on Evermore? No I'm sorry they were in deep trouble at that point already.

[@swiftafboii]

I looooved Rebecca i didn't knew tolerate it was about it!!! This is so cool

[@megantyler0424]

such a good point! I had read Rebecca the year evermore came out and was confused how she got “tolerate it” from that. it all makes sense now!

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly same

[@clashfan2875]

@@britthunt5707 I had a whole moment myself with Willow yesterday. She is literally begging and casting love spells. Why did she feel like she needed to? The fact that Exile has all those film references and he's an actor.? The fact she has seen the ending before, hello Red? She gave us so many signs.

[@lkcullen1918]

​@@clashfan2875 "Begging for you to take my hand"

[@sophiaisabelle027]

Relationships aren't picture perfect, and You're Losing Me goes to show that even the person you love the most can also be the one who will let you down. It's tough, but if you think it's best to let go, then let go. Prioritize yourself if necessary.

[@rightwhereyouleftme__]

Loved your thoughts as always and very much agree. My theory on the relationship and subsequent breakdown: when they first met I think Taylor probably liked Joe's quiet normie vibe because she was searching for a different reality than the turbulent chaos her life had been for years. He felt like the opposite of what she had previously had. This only lasts for so long though and I think she eventually realised Joe's seemingly mature, thoughtful quietness was actually just a non-communicative person who probably needs therapy to learn how to discuss and address feelings properly. She implies Joe struggles with depression or anxiety and maybe he just retreats and becomes super unresponsive to her. Taylor strikes me as someone who likes to deep dive headfirst into discussing their feelings and professing their love to each other. She needs you to verbalise how much you love her multiple times a day, tell her she looks beautiful, praise her for her work etc. There isn't anything wrong with this, I am the same way. Some people just don't do this and find it unnecessary and I feel like Joe was probably one of those types. Their love languages were different. Now Taylor also seems like she can fake it for a while and convince herself she's happy and find the good, which it sounds like she did for a long time. That's why Joe maybe didn't read the signals she was sending, they were probably a bit mixed. Also if he's retreating and preoccupied with his own depression and anxiety maybe her emotional needs were consistently on the back burner. So when she finally sat him down and told him it was JOEVER he said "I don't understand" and she said, "I know". Then it sounds like he was running after her, didn't know what he had til it was gone etc. but it was too late because her mind was made up already. My theory with how Matty fits into this is... she became closer to him last year working on Midnights, performed at his show in January, worked together in the studio throughout February. While I don't know if she was actually cheating on Joe, I do think it was a catalyst that made her finally pull the plug on that relationship. If she wrote Question about Matty then these emotions for him were lingering and building up for a while. I think Matty probably made his feelings known, she had been unhappy with Joe for a while and realised it felt good to be wanted and pursued again. Matty may be many things but I know he is a certified simp when he's in love and is capable of writing beautiful love songs. That's a similar love language to Taylor, the ability to be poetic and sweet through song which Joe can't do for her. Do I think her and Matty will last? No idea, but maybe this is what she wants for now after having a non-communicative partner for so long.

[@twobluestripes]

I agree that Taylor describes Joe in her music as someone who is struggling with depression. I think their communication styles and their mental health struggles are a bit different to each other in a way that’s hard. I’m someone who would rather talk conflict out. People who I love and are conflict avoidant sometimes can’t deal with me in an argument, and them leaving the argument or shutting down enrages me. But even outside of a conflict, I deal with action and anxieties sometimes feel a bit manic. I carry a great deal of optimism even in difficult experiences. I’ve had a relationship with someone who dealt with stressors by giving up, shutting down, and his depression made him morose, pessimistic. It’s extraordinarily hard to be there for someone like that, and for them to be there for you during your own mental health struggles. Especially straight men, who (in my observation) seem to think that their girlfriend or wife is also supposed to be their best friend and therapist.

[@emilylabram]

This is extremely convincing. 💪🏻

[@rightwhereyouleftme__]

@Anna Timm yes, I definitely get the impression his depression and struggles took priority in their relationship, and as she stated, she tried to be the bravest soldier and help him. But in return, her needs were neglected and belittled (my pain is such an imposition) like he couldn't return the same support she had provided him. He minimized her pain and made her feel juvenile or needy for what she required from him. Like her problems were pretty insignificant. Taylor has typically been an optimistic person, even though it's obvious she has struggled significantly with things throughout her life. She has always powered through and made something good out of it. I do think it takes its toll though and she required a partner that could notice that burden she carries and help relieve it. Let's be real, there is pretty much no one who can relate to her, she must feel deeply alone sometimes. I can imagine having a partner who doesn't notice your pain would add to that isolation. Dear Reader fills in a big piece of the puzzle here, she describes what she feels so perfectly in that song. It seems like they reached that point where it was shit or get off the pot, buy a house, get married, have some kids or... split. And I still believe she chose to split. She was waiting for him to bring up the hard conversations and state what he wanted and it doesn't sound like he ever did.

[@husna8294]

I agree. That's what I feel happened too, but possibly they may have fallen for each other sometime last year, not exactly cheating, but feelings do develop and grow. (Thought snow on a beach might be about that, about her and matty) also feel that matty may be a more expressive person, so it might be a better fit for her or what she is looking for. And I am one of those types too, constantly needy on love and for verbal communication but married to a reserved and non communicative type of guy, but all marriages takes work. 💪🤲

[@antoniaweber5263]

omg agree, i always thought she painted joe as depressed in some kind of way and in the end their differences create so much friction.

[@pixi78]

IMHO Taylor definitely wanted to marry Joe. “And I wouldn’t marry me either” seems like a response to an argument where Joe said he wouldn’t marry her.

[@nurergun]

Agree!!

[@belmoon8711]

Hi! About Taylor needing validation, yes she gets that from her family friends and fans. But in a relationship no matter who you are famous or not, or how wealthy you are, there’s a “validation” that only your significant can “offer”. Be it boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, wife, husband etc, in a relationship it’s fulfilling that your partner understand and validate your feelings, it’s an emotional validation.

[@fionashaw9097]

It was so fascinating to hear this song from Taylor Swift, because it was so straightforward - this really is what break-ups are like for most people - whereas her other songs are usually much more dramatic and cinematic when it comes to break-ups. It was just so normal, which I think made it a much sadder song than many of her others. It also showed a lot of emotional growth, I think - a lot of her previous writing about relationships has been very cinematic and not particularly grounded in the day to day of a real relationship, and I think moving from what media shows a relationship to be to the reality of what a relationship is (particularly a long-term romantic relationship) is a period of growth that a lot of people have to go through. I'll be interested to see how she writes about romance going forward, that's for sure.

[@randomfornow]

She was afraid of losing him but she never considered he might lose her 😭😭

[@Jalleur14325]

Without knowing either of them, it did feel to me like he was very uncomfortable in the limelight and the reality is, dating someone like Taylor, you kind of have to just roll with it or be a hermit. I can't imagine what it must be like to be photographed everywhere you go. Have zero privacy, so not judging, just think it was maybe a bit much. Also agree with earlier comments about her worshipping him and seemingly the body language backing that up. Maybe they will be a jlo and Ben, one day, you never know!

[@antoniaweber5263]

lover was supposed be called daylight so its fitting that midnights is again about joe and their ending. in hindsight it makes perfect sense to me.

[@MissSunFlower94]

your breakdown of the marriage situation is very similar to how my best friend broke up with her long term boyfriend. he was definitely expecting to marry her and have kids but wasn't taking any steps toward those goals and so when she started making future plans that didn't take that into consideration and he got upset she pointed that out and told him they obviously wanted different things and she wasn't going to wait. That is definitely the vibes I get from this breakup.

[@princessgarbage]

Personally, I think You're Losing Me was a really interesting way for her to channel her Grey's Anatomy obsession too. The final few lines of the bridge were def giving "dying on the operating room table watching loved ones stand by not even trying to save you" vibes and i'm sure that's how she was feeling about the relationship

[@mango3269]

I have been foaming at the mouth for you to upload about this God Bless You

[@Hostileminds]

Same, I turned on notifications 😂❤

[@ubemon]

There were reports saying Taylor and Joe were discussing marriage a couple of months ago. But I think Joe wanted "Sweet Nothings" for Taylor - a quiet life outside of the spotlight, where they get married and settle down and have children. I don't think Joe would have married a Taylor who wasn't prepared to let go of being a superstar. Taylor clearly doesn't like to hide her relationships. Watch her interview with Alan Carr where she says she doesn't want to hide like it's a crime. I get the sense that Taylor wants to have that power couple thing going on, whereas Joe was the totally opposite. That's me speculating anyway

[@angelamarie4137]

I agree. And I think she just wanted Joe to be proud of her and be proud to be seen with her. But Joe just wanted to hole away.

[@swiftafboii]

Such a good comment

[@madwoman_at.thelakes]

I fully agree. I think she wanted to keep it private in the beginning, because her rep was down, she was hiding from the world in general, didn't know if she would even get her career back, and was thrilled and flattered that this "perfect" man wanted her in spite of all that. Then there was quarantine, when she didn't know if public performances would ever be possible again, so the concept of being creative in a different way outside of the limelight likely appealed to her under those circumstances. But...everything went back to normal, her fame and popularity skyrocketed and she got another chance at huge success and touring again, but that wasn't what Joe had signed up for. She no longer had any reason to hide, because it's not her nature, but it is for him. She sacrificed a lot to stay out of the public eye for him, and he didn't want to acknowledge it was an issue because he was content with the status quo.

[@emmar557]

I think Taylor wanted children

[@Im_Julissa]

Taylor wants her private life to not be discussed or known yet Taylor wants to share her personal life outside but doesn’t want to face the consequences of it either. She totally has a TOXIC SIDE

[@MindfulMya]

Honestly between you and chats and reacts are my go to swiftie friends lol 😂 you definitely make some great insightful points and honestly it’s so messy and chaotic and I love it. 😅

[@kathylester2236]

Whenever I need clarification or an explanation when it comes to Taylor and her music, I go straight to this channel and it doesn't disappoint.

[@talliejewls]

Looking back, she spoke so highly of him any chance she could. In contrast, he would make it a point to downplay their relationship and in turn, it downplayed her. Whether he saw it or not, it doesn’t feel good to not be publicly admired my your special person.

[@akiraholland457]

What part of him being a quiet introverted person don't u get? He has nothing to prove to anyone. His love for Taylor doesnt have to be shown to the public. Taylor knew always he was quiet and introverted

[@talliejewls]

@@akiraholland457 what part of my comment didn’t YOU get? My opinion isn’t going to change just because you came in here and pretended to have a little sass. Now settle down.

[@akiraholland457]

@@talliejewls and i'm not even being sassy cuz i'm not Even insulting You. I understood Ur comment thats why i replied. Both Taylor and Joe have barely talked about their relationship, the only Nice thing Taylor said about Joe is that he is grounded and plays Nice the piano. Calm down

[@sharonsmith2771]

@@akiraholland457 thats bullshit!!! He is an actor. I personally think anyone who is an actor and pulls the "shy, introverted" card is lying.

[@akiraholland457]

@@sharonsmith2771 why? Actors can be introverted. Besides he doesnt to speak to the public about her. He has nothing to prove to You.

[@mariiagellfonde2761]

This is one of the most heartbreaking songs of her discography😔

[@Ana-yh8ek]

Jesus this song alone changed not only the way I see Midnights, but also folklore AND reputation. THE RED FLAGS I DIDN'T SEE.

[@Sherlocked.Loki-Swift]

I've been waiting for this video!! Been looking forward to you weighing in on this. "You're Losing Me." Is incredible. To be honest for awhile i was really worried about this relationship. Something about it always bothered me. Especially how she always saw him as a prince who could do no wrong and yet he was practically never seen with her willingly. Like you can be on a red carpet with your AMAZING girlfriend and still be private. Btw literally when she announced Snow on the Beath with more Lana I literally was like, "I hope somehow Zach is happy" lol!! Edit... The fact that Taylor started her relationships with Joe on reputation with clearing her throat and ending it on Midnights with a sigh is amazing.

[@abigailh7715]

I think Joe was her dream guy, her prince. She did everything to please him including put a kabash on all publicity. I do believe however, due to lack of normal socialization in her formative teen years that she was stunted developmentally in how real relationships work. She romanticized her life and seems to have expected it to play out like a Disney princess movie. Then when she found the guy who looks like an actual prince in the fairytales she fantasizes about, she thought it was a done deal. The prince automatically knows what princess needs, with no communication nor angst or staring at the ceiling in silence or storms in her eyes and happily ever after. It makes sense that her songs appeal so much to the age group that she is still mentally in.

[@abigailh7715]

Some relationships work where one is reclusive. Dolly Parton's husband of half a century has never been seen nor even pictured in public.

[@izzy1793]

I don’t think her and Joe were exclusive at first and I think that was a problem through the relationship. She says stuff like “do the girls back home touch you like I do” “highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you” “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down” I think maybe this followed them through the relationship. A lot of hints at this in lover and folklore I think

[@Samantha-xi4xr]

I remembered her singing “I thought you were leading me on. I packed my bags left Cornelia Street “ 😢 this shows a lot of concern in the beginning too

[@elizzybec]

This! I have to admit I raised an eyebrow at the line in "The Great War" ' maybe is was egos swinging/maybe it was HER' and in "Are you ready for it?" she writes 'wonder how many girl he left haunted' AND the line in "Cowboy Like Me" 'and the ladies lunching had their stories about when you passed through town" so I wonder was JA a player? She painted him in that light sometimes.

[@teadora99]

​@elizzybec I think he wasn't a player so much as he probably had a past and that made her insecure. It reminds me of how I have felt in my relationship in the past in the sense that my partner has had a big past and sometimes it makes me feel a bit insecure, you wonder if another girl will come into his life, sometimes you question whether you're good enough, but it's just a matter of understanding that things may have happened in the past, but what matters is the present and the fact your partner is now currently choosing her. I think as well due to her getting with Joe as she left Calvin for Tom Hiddleston and then subsequently left Tom for Joe, she probably felt scared he might do that to her this time instead. At least that's my take on it.

[@izzy1793]

@@teadora99 love this take!!!

[@darrahbydesign]

“We thought a cure would come through” - when they holed up together during the pandemic, I think they were already having problems but thought perhaps living together could fix them. “We loved this room because of the light. Now I just sit in the dark” is a parallel to Coney Islands “It gets colder and colder when the sun goes down” Remember she mentioned that they write the saddest songs together - how long can we be a sad song 🤔 evermore and folklore hold a lot of their problems woven in these hypothetical fantasy lyrics. One can only write sad songs with their partner so long before having to address WHY.

[@shubhi.saxena]

Also in hoax, she says "my kingdom come undone"(probably referring to "We rule the kingdom inside my room" in "King of my heart) and in "you're losing me" she says "do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" She refers to "king of my heart" a second time too, she went from "my broken bones are mending" to "I'm tired even for a phoenix always rising from the ashes mending all her gashes."

[@EvitaGlez]

I can’t get over your consistent comparison of Joe as “the heirloom turkey.” 😂

[@darraghcollins1374]

So funny 😆

[@donardodavinci6126]

I don't even think Mastermind is as lovey-dovey as we all initially thought. Essentially it's about one person striving to be with this other person and planning all these things, making all this effort to finally be in a relationship with them... to then find out that they knew about the first person's hard work and overwhelming love all along, while only passively playing into it and not reciprocating half as much. Mastermind has made me question who Tolerate It refers to.

[@angelamarie4137]

Based on not only this song, but also other songs, like "Bejeweled," I feel like Joe is very introverted and it was a big clash with personalities. The part about "I wouldn't marry me either" really broke my heart for her. Not everyone wants marriage, but a romantic like Taylor probably does. All the engagement speculation in the media all the time must've been hard for her. She kinda addressed it in Lavendar Haze. But that may just be a response to media hype (i.e. being reactive to put the gossip to rest). Can you imagine if you were hoping for a proposal you never got and gossip rags were constantly announcing you're engaged and bringing it up? Everyone keeps calling Matty Healy a rebound. But maybe Joe was the real rebound.

[@kyleemeg2171]

Sorry but you can’t call a 6 year relationship a rebound. That’s the EXACT opposite of a rebound

[@minhthuvu611]

Do you know the mean of rebound word?

[@Mia_M]

I was with you until you called Joe a rebound. 6 years is a long time, whereas rebounds are brief. Like maybe in the beginning, but seeing as how they were together for so long, it can't be called a rebound.

[@abigailh7715]

I think Joe was her dream guy, her prince, far from a rebound. She did everything to please him including put a kabash on all publicity. I do believe however, due to lack of normal socialization in her formative teen years that she was stunted developmentally in how real relationships work. She romanticized her life and seems to have expected it to play out like a Disney princess movie. Then when she found the guy who looks like an actual prince in the fairytales she fantasizes about, she thought it was a done deal. The prince automatically knows what princess needs, with no communication nor angst or staring at the ceiling in silence or storms in her eyes and happily ever after. It makes sense that her songs appeal so much to the age group that she is still mentally in.

[@minhthuvu611]

@@abigailh7715 she dated many guys before, she's not innocent like princess, she just has some bad habits in dating that make she jump on a relationship too quick and have a bad taste in men (john meyer, harry styles, ratty healy)

[@G625-s1c]

i used to deeply relate to new year’s day and now i deeply relate to you’re losing me…….. you can imagine the amount of stress that i am under

[@auntkalinagrimm]

I've been with my husband since i was 15. We are now 45, married since 19. People grow and change, you have to learn to grow and change together. People arent perfect. The whole, oh shes toxic and she expects this and that and he just wants quiet. The pandemic made it easy to cater to what he needed, but after the pandemic, she is still a personable extrovert who needs that live and attention. Whether or not yall think she needs therapy for it, people are how they are sometimes. Sometimes people accept some things they can change, and others they aren't willing to. She said she had plans, she wanted him to take her hand and wreck them. He wanted no lime light, very upper british quiet. She doesnt, although it seems she tried for a really long time. The main thing is that she wasnt getting what she needed from the relationship to feel loved and validated. That doesnt make him a horrible person, it just makes him "not the one". People calling her childish and immature....sometimes you have character traits you know arent fab, but you know what? You accept them, because you are a grown woman and its ok not to be therapist perfect. Im jealous and petty and need lots of love and validation. I accept that. Could i go to therapy and try to change? Sure. But My husband knows me, and because he wants to be with me, he chooses to handle my issues the way he does that keeps us together. He has issues i choose to handle because i choose to be with him. You just have to find the person you are willing to do all that with. He didnt seem like he was very vested. He would ride the train til it hit the end of the station, but there would be no big decisions by him. Stormy eyes and slamming doors....if you know your person, you know theres something wrong and what it is, even if they dont tell you. If youre in a new enough relationship, you know enough to care enough to keep digging. Anyway. Thats my 3am rant.

[@hannahh.3695]

I‘ve been waiting for this ever since the release of this song!!

[@sana2092]

Have you ever thought of doing a pre fame video essay? Like explaining Taylor’s life and how she got to where she was when she was working on debut. It’s obviously not normal for a teen to live a life like hers and I’d like for someone to dive deeper and in more detail into that

[@maryann2970]

Her early days at Big Machine was juicy. There's a New Yorker article that goes into some of the behind the scenes happenings and a blog in the Way Back Machine from an artist named Ella Mae/Kate Bowen who was at Big Machine as the same time as Taylor that details some never before heard events.

[@LaurenLaass]

This would be interesting.

[@LaurenLaass]

@@maryann2970😮

[@katie-rr9gl]

@@maryann2970 omg could you please link the article if you know where it is

[@st4rsholl0w]

YESSSS

[@laurasampaio1891]

The feeling that I get is that Taylor is breathing freely now. When I first listened to Midnights, everything felt so... Anxious? Like she wanted to talk, but couldn’t? And for the last few years, I had this sense that she was taking very restrained breaths, but now she feels like she can slightly loosen herself up. She wants to spill it all out, and she’s managing to do that little by little, but something keeps her from doing it (and I honestly think it’s wise for her to grow into keeping some things private for her well-being). Even still, it kind of feels like she’s rekindling with her core self. Building a bridge between “girlhood” Taylor and the woman she has become. I hope I made some sense 😅.

[@yee3133]

made perfect sense!

[@regulusarcturusblack13]

I'm glad some people can have actual logical arguments and opinions. I was on Reddit (and my goshhhhhhhhhhh the hive mind) Educated opinions and discussions are few and far between

[@tangyjenna]

I would honestly listen to you talk about literal dirt for an hour.

[@vivanesca]

yeah Id love a deep dive on john mayer as well

[@sirendipitybritt]

Can’t agree with you more on how truly fantastical the new Snow on the Beach is! Just beautiful! And I also agree with your thoughts about the songs context.

[@amyhansen6829]

The lyrics of You're Losing Me hooked me right away. However, I feel like the production has really grown on me. It starts out soft and progressively gets bigger. To me, I imagine it like how you give out warning signs in a relationship. Hey, red flag. Do something. Hey, red alert. Do something! Hey, FIVE STAR RED ALARM. Do something!!! And then it dies down again, because that means the relationship is finally over.

[@beomoa607]

i just love how we keep revisiting midnights again and again and everytime it just adds more layer to it. midnights became my second favorite album of taylors. honestly i kinda like this process hope she gives us more midnights songs lol

[@amandaleebee98]

It was like the next show right after the breakup, Taylor told everyone on stage that the the midnights album is the most relevant album to her life to date. Like clearly she was telling us it’s not 13 sleepless nights. I mean maybe it was just more recently than it seemed at first.

[@Eras_Era13]

I feel like Joe liked the version of Taylor when she was at her lowest and essentially not a threat. He was able to control her more - not even in a nefarious way, just in a way that he was able to make her fit into his idea of a “right” way of living. But once miss Tay came back stronger than a 90s trend, Joe didn’t understand why she wanted more, how ambitious she is, and he couldn’t fill a certain creative, passionate void in her life that she desperately searches for (“does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike…”)

[@stephane1623]

Such a great point, thanks for sharing!

[@marianletterio]

I guess it must be difficult being a relatively unknown person and start dating one of the most famous women on Earth. And it also must be difficult dating someone who doesn't seem to handle your level of success and fame. I don't know if we can say much about their relationship, as we don't know anything about their private lives, but I think that it's understandable that they broke up... I really hope that, if she decides to engage in a long term relationship in the future, she meets someone who supports and cherishes her

[@erin7800]

I think it's interesting as well bcoz while she was writing & releasing lover she admitted she thought this was the last time shed get that kind of pop star success - but then w folklore and evermore, and now midnights, shes more successful/popular than shes every been, whereas they both mightve thought her career would take a backseat in the future before the pandemic

[@ravenswood118]

That is such an unfair interpretation. To me, he just looks incredibly introverted, and so since he met her at a time when she wanted to lay low, he might have thought she was growing into a more introverted person, as well. And why wouldn't he? She was literally out there talking about how "we had decided to protect this relationship and keep it super private." Then the pandemic hit, which only enforced their cocoon. Eventually, she wanted to be extroverted and out there again, which isn't what he's into. As even their PR mentioned, it's just a personality difference. I don't know why you guys have to paint him as some controlling, abusive narcissist. It is beyond ridiculous. Even the song she wrote about the breakup doesn't point to that. Get a grip.

[@Eras_Era13]

@@ravenswood118please re-read my comment. I said I don’t think he did this in a nefarious way. They’re just different and when she was down, she was a version that he fell in love with. Not because he didn’t want her to be successful, but because she was literally ready to “run away with him.” I don’t view Joe as a villain at all. I’m sure she had some of her happiest moments with him, and they clearly loved each other very much. And let’s be honest, Taylor absolutely is not the most reliable narrator - there are always two sides and the truth. No need to be harsh with your comment, we’re all just sharing our opinions and of course none of us have any idea what actually happened.

[@hariharanramesh3926]

This song to me sounds like a response to Cornelia Street. Towards the end of her relationship she mightve visited the apartment once which is where she reminisces over the window and everything. She also asks whether she should throw out everything they built together or keep it. She strikes a perfect balance in this by leasing the apartment earlier this year. She literally goes from I don't wanna lose you to You're losing me

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly

[@Th3Visitor]

Wait how'd we know she losted her Cornelia street apartment?

[@hariharanramesh3926]

@@Th3Visitor It was on the news

[@nishthagupta1357]

@@Th3Visitor yupp, its on sale now. Right after the breakup

[@Th3Visitor]

@@nishthagupta1357 damn

[@liacamp9]

i don't know if it makes any sense, but i interpret the album order like it was separated by her thoughts and feelings. to me it feels like from midnight to 3am, taylor is thinking about joe and her life choices concerning their relationship, which is enough to keep her up all night; and then by 3am, she's so broken from overthinking she's going back to past trauma, revisiting all those other nights she spent up when she was younger. the songs from the vault, like you're losing me, always felt more like a "final letter", like one last thing she has to say but only to herself, since they are way too raw and private (and they kind of give a "reading someone else's diary" vibe, idk). (also, if this is a based theory lmk, i'm new to the swiftie thing lol)

[@AJ-ny1ly]

Honestly, now that I’m thinking about it, it does kind of seem like a this is the break up because it starts with great war right and then she starts thinking about- Paris - being all lovey-dovey . And then she thinks about glitch and I know there’s one more but I can’t remember it does kind of follow the track of like here all these memories after the break up and then add her saddest point dear reader, because the whole rest of the album is essentially a lie or a cover-up of all these low points in the relationship

[@nfbconnect]

"A true breakdown of communication and just two people falling out of love..." 💯 Agree!!!!! I see part of the vulnerability in this song is Taylor not placing full blame on him.

[@ascendednightingale2456]

Happy Birthday to your grandmother! I hope she has a great day and can eat cake!

[@KodiSwandaOfficial]

I saw a theory about the Karma remix that I really think makes sense. North West and a lot of the Kardashian kids are huge Ice Spice fans, so the theory goes that Taylor got Ice Spice to feature on Karma specifically in hopes that North West will love the song and play it all the time around Kim 🤣

[@clashfan2875]

If I thought that was true I would stream the hell out of it. LOL. I like the MV cause its fun but the song is meh.

[@KodiSwandaOfficial]

@@clashfan2875 unfortunately the song is growing on me the more I listen to it. It helps if you use a software to speed up the rap verse and it sounds a lot better bc it’s more on beat

[@buckylovesplums_6731]

​@@KodiSwandaOfficial agreed!

[@aurorarawy421]

I think the line about “I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser” is actually something that was said during a fight or smth. It seems as if she was repeating it in a bitter manner. Kind of like saying “yeah you know what you’re absolutely right, I wouldn’t love me either, I wouldn’t choose me when I’m so needy” It’s a thing that we do when we reach a real low during a fight or a bad time…?

[@johnquach8821]

I'm so sorry to see this golden relationship fall apart... as a fan, I became a Taylor Swift fan around the time of reputation. I'm so sorry for her.

[@biancamorawska4791]

i feel like hits different was written during a time when she was still in denial over the breakup. she still wasn't able to see the bad in the closing of the relationship, but she knew that it was over and nothing could really bring it back. she talks about joe in past tense, like for example "you WERE the one that i loved" and "i FELT you and i HELD you for a while." the song also really expressed how different her relationship was from her others, because the breakup and aftermath "hit differently" from her other breakups. even though her a joe are clearly over, she still sees him as the most important ex, and that he stands out from the crowd. theres a lyric, "movin' on was always easy for me to do, hits different, hits different cause its you." it basically says that every other time I was going through a breakup, it was easy to find purpose after it pretty quickly, but with joe, its a different emotional process because he was so special and losing him cut deeper than other breakups.

[@ashleybree1407]

HEYYYY! I’ve literally been watching you all weekend 😂 which sounds creepy BUT I have been living your elder swiftie takes and how you are critical of Taylor while still loving her music. I’ve been excited to hear what you said on your losing me. ❤️ thanks for being here!

[@faegibb4043]

"Prince Harry's stupid book" 😂😂😂😂

[@laurenjennings4104]

I love how he said he was distraught and shes like ok and pulls youre losing me out of pocket . Joe shut up!

[@selkarmi]

Valid point lol

[@RuuBjAh1]

Okay what I think is really interesting is how the songs seem to flow into each other: * The ending of Would've Could've Should've sounds like the beginning of Labyrinth * The second verse from You're Losing Me sounds like it samples Snow on the Beach * The intros to Paris and Karma aren't the same, but they have the same effect on it, which also feels connected * The ending of Dear Reader sounds like the beginning of You're Losing Me * Another KZbinr, Ally Sheehan, also made the connection between Karma and I Did Something Bad - the sampled beat at the beginning of Karma does actually sound like I Did Something Bad - unrelated to Midnights being connected to itself, but related to interconnectedness haha

[@melodypetre5063]

The other day I was noticing how the opening melody of Hits Different is fairly similar to “I call just checking up on him” of Forever Winter, and the “at midnight” in Paris is the same as Fearless. There’s definitely many melodic similarities in her discography, but I just figured that when you have a certain songwriting style eventually there are echoes within your body of work.

[@elenagerhardy2636]

Something about the cadence of the chorus in You’re Losing Me reminds me of RWYLM. The ‘stop’ at the top of the chorus really reminded me of ‘help’ in RWYLM; both make me stop in my tracks.

[@tsmidnights]

im sat and ready to hear the slander against the heirloom turkey 💀

[@katelynnrice4983]

I was too mad at the original version of snow on the beach bc I am a Lana STAN but this new version is SO GOOD

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

imagine if there was a lana only snow on the beach. i’d love to hear like an ultraviolence version of snow on the beach.

[@tobygittleman6224]

The way I've been waiting for this video all week. Thank you, and happy belated to your grandma !

[@gloriaratcliffeszawlowski4797]

I feel like that she’s also mentioned her sadness a few times in this album. Maybe like many of us she’s depressed and he didn’t even notice let alone try to help her out. He was costing… and she’s like okay I actually don’t like being this private!

[@kirby8211]

he didn't read into her melancholia!

[@dollythelama]

I think people pleaser has to do with the Industry AND her fans. Joe didn’t give her the attention SHE deserves or ANYONE deserves. Right now, Kielce IS giving her that attention AND is able to deal w her fame. I’m SOOO happy for her. Please make ANOTHER video about this. Love you!

[@nubesvaporosas]

She stood on a cliffside screaming "give me a reason" his faithless love was the only hoax she believed in 💔🔥 I LOVED you're losing me

[@giorgiafincato3596]

This theory makes so much sense. I think we have confirmation in her parts in 'the alcott'. She felt neglected "read my sentence out loud". But she wanted it to work "I love this curse on our house"

[@antoniaweber5263]

i feel like she was more confident in rep than lover. so if the anxiety was already there in the beginning, they never found a way out of it

[@adelecrowe7473]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING. watching random ppl’s reactions to you’re losing me to fill the zack shaped void

[@lfior]

First of all, Zach, your timing couldn’t have been better, I have spent the whole day in crisis over my own long gone breakup the issues of which are resurfacing, I needed your analysis on this, you soothed my soul (and I am waiting for the revisited midnights video). Secondly I really do wonder if it’s at all possible for women and men in heterosexual dynamics to ever find the right balance when the emotional work is so different. Straight men so often grow up expecting the work to be done for them and taking it for granted and women learn to fight for the relationships in ways that they shouldn’t, and Taylor may be a very unique case but it does make me wonder if someone as emotionally intelligent as her cannot make straight relationships work then who can

[@KpopLover1013]

Oh, it's possible. But emotionally intelligent straight cis men are RARE. I for one thought it'd be near impossible to meet my match. And even sometimes still, I feel like I'm just way too complex for him. But nonetheless, sometimes like what Zach said, it's a matter of communication at the end of the day, and to expect so much of someone without laying the ground rules clearly isn't fair, and sometimes as a person you do have to assess your ego and sort've bring yourself down to earth a little to have some empathy towards the others around you, because in a relationship it takes two, and the world doesn't just revolve around you

[@jkmacrunnel]

I love this song so much! I can't imagine very many Swifties not loving it, its full of tea, great lyrics, great melodies and a solid production.

[@onyourownkid.]

I literally cannot tolerate social media rn you're my salvation as always

[@maybememory1]

Great point about the possible lack of validation. I think it’s worth noting that virtually their entire relationship came at a time when she wasn’t touring or performing much at all and, especially during covid, she didn’t really have that in-person fan adoration to fuel her.

[@rajeshwariPill]

' I miss you but I miss sparkling" was the greatest hint

[@katelynnrice4983]

I have literally been waiting for you to post all weekend bc of every crazy thing that has happened! Can’t wait to see your karma reaction

[@mirandapillsbury7885]

We also need another video of you talking about Til The Dawn release strategy and stuff. We also need another video and another and another. We're obsessed with your analysis vids sis

[@GabrielaCenturionNeumann]

YEEEEEEEES! It is on us to communicate if we are not happy with a situation. There are non-verbal ways to do this, yes. But it will never be the same as talking things through. My little sister mentioned after listening to the song that Taylor talks about a lot of non-verbal cues or signals throughout the song and she even thinks about what she wants her partner to do, but she never openly tells him that. At least not in the song. A good communication is key, you guys

[@aseriesofsneaks]

I'm now starting to wonder if "High Infidelity" is actually about Joe and not Calvis Harris. Not that Joe posts much on Instagram, but it's interesting to note that Taylor liked almost all of his posts from August 2018 to April 26, 2022 - but none of his admittedly few posts since then. Did something happen on or around April 29 last year? I can't help but think there's a parallel between "You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love / The slowest way is never loving them enough" and "Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?" in "High Infidelity" and "I can't find a pulse / My heart won't start anymore" in "You're Losing Me".

[@graciekinsey2735]

Yoooooooo. THIS PART! 👏🏼

[@SJ_1992]

But she speaks about 'put on your records and regret me/put on your headphones and burn my city' - so that is very Calvin.

[@tayter_chip]

⁠@@SJ_1992 but also in Maroon (which I’m very sure is about Joe) she says “when the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf” so in high infidelity “put your records on and regret me” could be about Joe and not Calvin

[@piedpiper5886]

No. Infidelity is about Calvin Harris. Their relationship was all but over by March or April 2016. This was actually said by Calvin’s opening act in 2016. On April 29, while not officially broken up, she was ready to check out of the relationship with Calvin, and went to Gigi’s birthday, and she was introduced to Joe by Gigi, who knew because of photo shoots.

[@piedpiper5886]

@@tayter_chip Vinyl self is referring to Jake and his indie records. He was very much a hipster and listening to music that wasn’t Taylor’s. Maroon is just a darker version of Red, and implies Jake was not the big, vibrant red she though he was, but a darker version which damaged her.

[@haleyoleary4522]

I think that maybe she could have communicated her needs, but possibly after communicating those needs and not having them met, she could have become resentful. Which just goes back to the fact that if you don't feel heard or validated, you don't have to stick around. Makes me really reflect back on my part in relationships. You do not have to accept something that isn't meeting your standards once you have clearly communicated your needs.

[@JasmineBella]

I keep crying listening to the sign and thinking of her in this situation. Everyone has felt ignored at some point. Also I love how she says you’re losing ME because it shows that she gained self esteem !!! I imagine her wanting to grab Joe by the collar and say “tell me how much you love me like I have for you all these years !!!”

[@charlottemclean6130]

When I first listened to Folklore (without knowing anything that had been said about it) I thought it was a breakup album. So many of the songs struck me as so heartbreaking. I was going through a rough patch in my marriage and it really spoke to how I was feeling at that time. It surprised me when I found out that she and Joe were still together and apparently happy.

[@AllySheehan]

6:20 CONAN O'BRIEN I'M SCREAMING

[@Ajlikestraveling]

GIRL- y’all know each other???? I need collab plsss

[@austin3082]

I’m not even a fan of Lana’s music but what she did to snow on the beach made it my fav on the album, that was a PERFORMANCE

[@KetlinCarramanhos]

I think that the biggest problem in their relationship was that Joe just expected her to decide to be like Rihanna, or Beyonce. You know, one of those superstars who disappears from the media for yeeeeeeears, live super private lives and drop an album every decade... that's not who Taylor is. She is a writer first. She is a very prolific writer and she won't just write for years and never put an album out. And also, even though she knows that the media attention is bothersome and annoying sometimes, she also loves the attention. I guess he expected her to want to continue living the life they had in the pandemic and give up her super A lister status as a global star and go down to his level of a C lister celebrity who never goes to any event and is always at home and makes 1 project a year and doesn't get media attention. But that's not who Taylor is. She is a diamond and a diamond's gotta shine. She is always going to be an A lister celebrity and she is going to continue being a public figure even if she decides to protect some aspects of her life. When she says "lose something babe, risk something" she is asking him to accept to lose a bit of his privacy, or lose a bit of his own time and shine a liiiiiiiiittle bit with her. And she probably would've wanted to connect him with the best film makers and producers, she has those contacts, but why do you think in 6 years with her, he continued doing small projects? He was probably too proud to even want her to help him a little. And helping someone you love succeed is such a big and nice thing in a relationship, it is nice to see that you can help your partner, you know? But he didn't want anything from her, not even her suport (Sweet Nothing proves it) and he was never in the events supporting her publicly. That has always been weird from his part. Idk, I just think he is probably someone who wants too little in life while she wants it all (in a good way).

[@emilylabram]

💯

[@akiraholland457]

Taylor brother is a filmmaker and he doesnt have a Big Shining career. So maybe Taylor doesnt help that way. Joe is quiet and introverted and Taylor knew that

[@bammmitsrachel]

I absolutely agree with her using a deceptive tool for explaining Midnights. When she first announced it, I thought she was happy with Joe so she thought this was a way to still write about her exes. I thought it was genius. Now it's so obvious that some or most of these are about Joe. She was writing these vulnerable songs about their issues and didn't want us to realize it's about him till the world knew it was over. I think us trying to figure out who the songs were about also created conversation and added to her popularity during this album release. Of course we will never know 100% what went down between them and I was convinced that he wanted to settle down and she prioritized her career (Midnight Rain) but when I listened to You're Losing Me, it felt like a sequel to Cornelia Street. It makes me wonder if she actually put him on a pedestal this whole time and felt way more for him. I mean why would we she talk about Paper Rings and say "he better lock it down or i wont stick around" in I Think He Knows. She's not really one to make things up. Maybe You're Losing Me is her realizing they have been through too many rough patches and he keeps distancing from her. She feels ignored (Bejeweled) and doesn't want the privacy anymore. I think it wasn't working for him a long while but he couldn't bring himself to end it. I think she wanted to get married and walk carpets together and he didn't. He kept pushing her away and she was gaslighting herself into thinking it was her. (Anti-Hero)

[@justsomegirl_xiii]

The way this song gives new meaning to so much of her discography 🫢

[@codydufour83]

I think that midnights really was what she said it was. It was abt 13 nights of her life that kept her up. They all explore the different relationships, and she also has a few songs that seem to be abt Joe in a positive light mostly. Although, now that the relationship is over, she added "you're losing me" as a vault track to complete the album since he was the most recent breakup, and she wanted to explore her most meaningful relationship (since it certainly gave her a night or two without sleeping). I think, strategically, this was also her way of confirming the breakup to her fandom outside of the rumours and leaks

[@dreamchaser7603]

Joe is an ISTP guy ( introverted, rational, progmatic, go with the flow, self-focused) and our girl Taylor is an Esfj ( extroverted, romantic, expressive, strategic, people pleaser). Plus, he has an avoidant/secure Attachment style, while Taylor has an anxious attachment style… „A cat and a mouse for month or two or three…„ It could never work…

[@alizalieb3962]

Honestly I think Taylor is more NF than SJ. ENFJ would be my guess.