You're Not Boring, You Just Need Better Conversation Skills As A Man

[@CourtneyRyan]

Tiege Hanley: Get your first box 40% off (+ FREE gift), and 20% off for life, at www.tiege.com/crconvo

[@stevenponcho293]

I started with Tiege Hanley a week ago. The giant red patches on my skin from months ago aren't going away. I'll keep using this for a few more weeks, but I'm worried about this redness

[@rarehunter990]

Hey Courtney could you dress as a man go out and ask out men and show us short guys how easy it is to get a girl. that’s really the only way you will understand what it’s like being a man watching your videos.

[@Acess-1bx]

Your More then Alot UnForgettable.❤❤💮😁✋🏻🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🧠

[@anonoumos]

"to be interesting, you must first be interested!" Love that quote!

[@angmori172]

To lead, learn to follow

[@joshuamiklandric7295]

Yes, you’re absolutely right Courtney! When someone has genuine curiosity for something that is one of the best ways to build connection. I think being passionate about something also really helps.

[@km-my4un]

Magical conversation words: “Tell me more.”

[@x-man5056]

Don't just say it, listen.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

@@x-man5056 Nah just say it.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

Also, "Loving the energy" and all that useless crap :)

[@niallk9336]

@CatGamer i dont think i could say that without unironically feeling like a cult leader

[@x-man5056]

@@niallk9336 Maybe you are a "unironic" cult leader then. It is a simple thing.

[@garrissonwebb1207]

“To be interesting, you must be interested” that is SO true. I know that through experience, from not caring at all in certain situations vs being interested and having have deep and intelligent conversations

[@Gopher755]

@@garrissonwebb1207 key point.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had , I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .

[@DianaJovita]

The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?

[@DianaJovita]

Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.

[@charlesdavid-p1y]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.

[@kouenclaude9835]

@@charlesdavid-p1y when it's broken it's broken there's nothing to fix and your spiritual advisor won't change anything .If he managed to pick up the pieces, then you too can do it on your own.

[@poeticeclipse]

My mom is a good example of a person with some social anxiety and naturally thinks she’s not going to be liked, however, she has a tendency to be more chatty with those who find an interest of hers and asks her to chat about it. It unlocks her passion and confidence and she can open up more easily because she sees people can care about what she is interested in or passionate about. I think many people are like this, so it’s my advice to try and find out someone’s hobbies and interests early on so it gives you questions to ask when conversing.

[@roboarmy357]

I usually never comment on any social media platforms but I had to on this one. This video came at the perfect time for me. Just came from a Friendsgiving event yesterday and I felt so out of place and boring. I will use these tips for sure. Thank you Courtney!

[@davidchambers44]

Great advice, Courtney. Another important thing to remember is, its okay to be nervous. The other people are probably just as nervous and have their own insecurities. Just try to have fun, and don't get down on yourself if it doesn't flow perfectly all the time.

[@roberttruman8444]

Absolutely nothing wrong with being nervous, but I believe it to be a choice that we make. Not the being nervous part, but the way we regard first dates, like job interviews, as a life defining character assessment that determines our worth. Going in there feeling like we have something to lose does a huge disservice to us, and it hides the fact that this is a two-way process and we are there to see how suitable they are as well. Both people on a date are ultimately looking for love and romance and contrary to popular belief there is no such thing as the wrong person, you're just trying to find the right person for you. Disappointment is understandable if it doesn't go well, but you leave no better of worse off than you started. So you may as well enjoy it for what it is. Likewise with job interviews, one person wants a better job or needs an income which any job could provide, whereas the employer NEEDS staff to exist and they have everything to lose. If you are going to commit a third of your life to that job then you want to believe that they are right for you and the interview is their chance to show you how worthy they are.

[@dj_gzero]

Oh man. I used to be scared to show a different opinion when talking to girls lol. But I learned that I want to be with someone who I can get along with regardless of differing viewpoints

[@chavesa5]

5:40 the worst part about this is when you do it, and people show zero interest in you in return. A lot of people can be very, very self-centered and self-important and mistake your curiosity for sucking up or supplication.

[@sm5574]

You need to be able to accept that risk. It certainly can and will happen, just like a fortune cookie may be empty. That's when you accept it as the way it goes sometimes, and you look for the next opportunity.

[@Gopher755]

Look at it as a blessing. You learned quickly that person is not for you. Most women aren’t for you which is a hard one to accept. Finding a match is a numbers game. The faster you rule someone out the freer you are to move on.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

@@Gopher755 For women it is a blessing. It weeds through the applications. For men it is the 100000th rejection.

[@Gopher755]

@@CatGamer-wc2ij rejections are good. She saved you both from misery. I met my best friend dating. She and I are so wrong yet I’ve talked to her every day day for a year. I love her so much.

[@Gopher755]

@ she is by far the nest thing that’s come out of dating. I never dreamed an angel would appear.

[@JDoomhauer87]

Even after nearly 3 years of Following your channel, I still admire the professionalism in “If you are new here…”. Your audience is growing rapidly I’m sure. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family Courtney.

[@kennedyhair8434]

Are you dating?

[@tommygunn6901]

I'm genuinely sick of the negative and red pill comments on here. Just stay single yall...PLEASE! Men and women have screwed the dating pool but if you wanna get angry about it, stay mad! It makes me not wanna support anyone anymore cause everyone thinks dating is a competition that yall feel the need to tear others down to lift yourselves up! Fly solo!

[@YouCanChangeYourWorldToday]

🎯 Well said thank goodness I ain’t the only one 👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯💯

[@ajtaylor8750]

People would much rather complain about the issues with modern dating rather than look for healthy solutions. Negativity is way more emotionally stimulating than positivity, so best believe the negative comments from red pill followers will continue.

[@tommygunn6901]

Most just sit there watch Fresh n Fit, and "dating coaches" that just regurgitate pickup lines and scripts, lacking true authentic connections. I was working on a book about men's mental health and my experience. Due to so many dudes being lustful, breaking bro code just to get laid, I don't support anyone anymore, and my book will not see the light of day. So to the "mansophere" morons, you've yourselves to blame.

[@Manhattan_Heretic]

Red pill ideology is a toxic worldview that doesn’t have a solution but just blames women and groups for why things are terrible for men. Also, a ton of ethnic and religious chauvinism that doesn’t solve the problem. Happy people don’t spend their time hating on a group of people all of the time. I used to hang out with some of these guys but left because they’re miserable and it brings you down.

[@tommygunn6901]

@@ajtaylor8750 I was working on a book too about my mental health experiences, but it's not seeing the light of day. Dudes out here are lustful and will break bro code to get laid. Red pill dorkosphere morons watch too much Fresh n Fit, and these "dating coaches" that just regurgitate pickup lines and force dating apps on you. I worked with a dating coach and I'll tell ya, she didn't care...

[@atheistsince1210]

Courtney it's called PTSD and Asbergers Syndrome it's my superpower I live in my mind introvert Jedi Mind trick .

[@fuzzy76]

0:20 1. Don't worry about being interesting enough 1:32 2. Cultivate genuine curiosity 3:54 3. Share about yourself too 5:12 4. Listen to understand 6:13 5. Stop overthinking what you say 7:27 6. Share your perspective

[@lawrence31415]

I've always felt confident whenever it comes to having conversations with someone. My tips are to relax, have a good laugh, ask engaging questions, take some pauses to let things sink in, and keep an open and rational mind. Ultimately, you just want to enjoy the moment with person, and the goal of a pleasant conversation is to get to know them. The rest will fall in place in good time if it's meant to be. With that being said, catch you all later because I'm going on a second date, and I'm ready to have more fun conversations with her today!

[@thepirate8765]

Nice

[@crahseryt8997]

Wish you well on your date man

[@CourtneyRyan]

Yay have fun!

[@richb2229]

Confidence and casual conversation is a great advantage for dating. It goes a long way to gauging your attraction and compatibility especially if you dating for a long term commitment rather than a more casual relationship. However, she is looking at that conversation much more critically than you are and is way better at pulling out red flags than you are. So the more you know about women’s red flags the better better the conversation will go. Also knowing what the green flags are (sexual attraction) is just as important. Green flags allow for a next date and out of the friend zone. Green flags can put you in the casual date/hookup box or in to the serious relationship box. Your success depends on what she is looking for. This is also a great time for setting your initial boundaries and finding out a little of her dating history is. Indirect questions over several dates can often get the information more freely than being direct here. Body count matters, for you to understand her mindset. It’s a red flag but not always a relationship killer. But great care in must be taken if you want to get into a relationship with a woman that has more than about 3x yours.

[@lawrence31415]

​@@CourtneyRyan it was another fun date! We explored the Christmas market together and learned more about each other through our conversations. I'm truly glad to have met someone who shares the same purpose in dating: taking the time to understand one another. There's still more to go, but for now, I'm enjoying taking things one step at a time 😊

[@patrickplummer1027]

Thanks for being so special, Courtney....You make everything better!

[@Jumpyman_thegamerYT]

For me, I find it difficult to start a conversation myself.... however, if someone else ends up starting it, then for some reason I don't have a problem with talking to them about stuff, I don't know why.

[@Drc902]

Man, I thought only I had this problem. Starting convos is awkward for me, because I overthink about what topic to broach, but I can somehow latch onto something that's provided in conversation.

[@banjomechanic]

I’ve discovered that being authentic and having manners works for me. It has attracted more authentic and interesting women to interact with. Be who you want to be and the things and people you like having around will also be.

[@seanbeste9750]

Hi Courtney, I've watched a few of your videos, most recently the above and "4 Things That Make Men Seem Creepy To Women?" Your thoughts are well put together and you share real life events to prove them, you are not condescending or picking on men in the least, you straight up explain, some women do this and it's not fair/ appropriate, and I never feel you emote, "THIS IS THE WAY". I'm not looking for a romantic relationship; I wish to improve myself first. Your videos I've seen are applicable to many situations, and should improve my life in general. That is why I am subscribing to your chanel. Thank you very much. -Sean

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thanks for being here and for the kind comment, Sean! ❤️

[@menumlor9432]

I recommend reading No more Mr. Nice guy and how to win friends and influence people.

[@zenigatago]

Also Les Brown, Wayne W. Dyer, and Claude Steiner.

[@RodneyDailey-df7sj]

Been there great content

[@Gopher755]

Awesome! The importance of authenticity can’t be exaggerated unless your goal is future misery for you and another human being. It’s both healthy for everyone and a moral obligation to be yourself, flaws and all.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

Oh? Then why is authenticity punished so brutally? Most men's authentic self is under performing, yet we force ourselves to be better and it kills us early.

[@Gopher755]

@ if so, she ain’t for you. Period.

[@Gopher755]

@ What do you mean? Complaining and whining would be punished but could you give examples of men being shredded dating for being authentic? I talk to people and can tell when someone is being authentic. In my opinion, most people are doing themselves and their date a favor being authentic. If if can’t enjoy a couple drinks together imagine the hell of a relationship if true selves came out later? Being authentic means listening and responding too not just talking about some obscure interests. Listen. It’s not necessary to puke authenticity all over the table the first ten minutes of the date. Just relax. I’ve dated enough to know finding a good match is a numbers game. Try to enjoy yourself with someone who’s not a match. I’ve learned interesting things. I’m in Oregon and once had a date with Mennonite woman who was becoming a hippie. She was actively starting over though she still wore a hat all the time. It was a cool trucker hat. She was doing it.

[@Gopher755]

@ Dating is a numbers game. The vast majority of women I’ve talked to and/or dated are not for me. I love several women who are not for me. You have to be patient and if someone treats you that poorly on a date, excuse yourself and get out. There’s another level of friend that’s way deeper than the friendzone. You want to find a friend like Courtney? It’ll probably be a date that went just slightly sideways enough to make the compatibility point yet that might open the door for a personal master class on women. She’ll ask your advice too, wants you to listen, and occasionally come over and lift so,etching heavy. I’ve learned more about relationships and women in the last year than my entire life till now.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

​@@Gopher755 Not sure if this will be productive, but I guess you might be genuine in your question? You seem genuine. You also seem very confused about it, so I will do my best to explain it. First, let's clear up the inaccuracies or misconceptions in your statements. 1-Complaining and whining is often unauthentic. So I don't encourage that. I am unsure where that random, off the wall comment came from you? It is distracting if you thought it was important enough to mention. No one advocates whining. 2-"Being authentic means listening and responding too not just talking about some obscure interests." What? Since when? Nowhere in being authentic, definition or action, does it have anything remotely to do with listening or even speaking. You are literally making up the definition to fit your narrative. Authentic means trustworthy and honest, a replication of behavior that reflects the person. It is NOT positive or negative per say. For example, a man that tells a woman to shut her mouth because she is not important only he is, yes he is a jerk. But he is being authentic if that's who he is. By pretending he's something else, he would be inauthentic. That, I believe, is where you fail to understand that yes, men are torn apart. When I told one date to stop being negative about the past on the first date, "Please stop talking about your last three dates online because it shows more about you then them." Torn apart. When shaming me for a no strings philosophy, "You are dating way above your station and want a committed relationship? After years of partying? And imply I need to grow up? No, I did the hard work while you did the partying. Now I get to party. Pay for your own meal, this date is done." Torn apart.

[@braymysteriofan]

This 10 minute video sums up the advice I've been getting over the past few months. I believe it works & after enough practice, it becomes effortless. This is a great framework to build that initial attraction with someone.

[@aleidius192]

I'm thinking of using VR chat to work on my conversation skills. You open the program and you're instantly at a party full of people who look like characters from anime and League of Legends. Some of them even speak English!

[@jdarnellsix]

Record yourself. Serious public speakers do it to find out EXACTLY how they sound

[@kennedyhair8434]

Dude....please.

[@thebestone11-r9y]

There is a book called Casanova Optimization of Attraction, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, It's the real deal...

[@nickc3856]

^ this is spam

[@brianthesnail3815]

I found that practicing in small doses was a good thing. Perhaps with the person in the shopping queue next to you. Asking open questions "Why", "How", "What" and "Tell me about....". Then listen and ask a secondary question with the same key starter word sand yes do share a bit about yourself.

[@jondrake1977]

I'm interesting. I just would rather not talk about myself much. I like listening. I try it with my friends, too.

[@CourtneyRyan]

I get that! I’m the same way

[@zxKAOS1]

Problem is, stuff like "being yourself" hasn't worked in the past. Still, will keep on fighting the good fight, and thanks for the video nonetheless!

[@gaelg8664]

It sounds so both clear and simple. Authenticity is one of the most important traits character we should show and Cultivate. Thank you for your valuable tips. Another amazing video. Keep going and take care

[@nykia31]

No one ever gets bored talking about themselves. Let them...and then interject some tidbits about yourself. Courtney is right.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

That only works until there's two people that don't share much, then it grinds to a halt fairly quick.

[@kevintenney7802]

I don't get bored, I just hate to talk about myself.

[@niallk9336]

I definitely get bored talking about myself.

[@brandonmiller2171]

I have a skin camera routine. And I have been using Tiege Hanley for about a year now.

[@iainlaurence]

The thing that's helped me be better at conversation is being a better listener rather than trying to tell the other person things about myself at every moment. When I talk to that person later they are impressed if I remember something about them that they told me before.

[@Personal-TVstation]

I appreciate this and the parts which remark on how 'being boring' might well apply to the listener if they're not interested. The whole concept is one which societally we ought grow out of esp. after the experiences from the lockdowns and how it's very much common for 30+ adults to have unstimulating, uneventful, validly non-sociable lives in what non-work time they have to spare.

[@cantstandtheestablishment4004]

The biggest mistake men make on dates is dominating the conversation. To increase her attraction toward you, get her to talk about herself and then listen well.

[@SuperMar10GalaxyBro]

Yes, yes, YES!! Thank you for these new ways of looking at things, and encouraging us to focus on what really matters, and cultivate good character traits.

[@mike_tkgchs]

take notes, people . the advice to listen instead of just waiting for your turn to speak is often forgotten (myself included) but it's a golden rule

[@CaptainWillard830]

OG tip: Gentlemen - read! Read! READ! Magazines, books, bios, fiction, the back of the sugary cereal box. Volunteer in your community, pick up trash 🚮 on roads near your home. Now you have interesting things to chat about. Stuff the average dude isn’t talking about If she looks at you with her mouth open 🎉

[@ZeroEscape2074]

the more I stay as myself, the more I find that people don't care who you actually are, they care about the construct of you in their head, and if you don't meet that construct 200% of the time, then you can leave, and people like that are the rule, not the exception, I wish things are different, but unfortunately they aren't, and won't get better

[@anandaalvarez4336]

If they don't care about who you truly are but you do care about who they really are, then you are special

[@eric4946]

I think too many people worry about what looks cool. If they really dislike what you like… then is that a person you want to be with? That doesn’t mean they need to already enjoy or be a huge fan of what you like to do. I’ve found in healthy relationships each partner will at the very least respect the partners hobbies or show passive intrest because their partner is interested.

[@jamescoffman8096]

Word of the day…..”lame”. I’ve been in a few of those conversations! 🎉

[@richb2229]

Being boring to women in dating and even within a relationship can end that. Cortney’s advice while being much better than being tong tied, includes things that are subconscious red flags to most women. A woman’s subconscious directly conflicts with their words about wanting to hear about men’s problems or fears, especially in a relationship. And the subconscious always wins on that front. That’s why women often can’t calmly explain in detail why they aren’t interested in their partner. Or use phrases like “I am bored”; “I don’t feel connected…”; “you are weak…; and so forth. You can share past, present and future thoughts, ideas, ambitions and goals. But keep feelings, especially fears and problems out of the conversations when possible. Reframe questions in your mind to help change your answers to more of a factual answer. Fears and problems are (subconscious) red flags for women even married women. Positive feelings are okay, but should be used with a point in the conversation and not brought back up.

[@roberttruman8444]

I think if showing any healthy amount of vulnerability is labelled weak, I'd be worried that this was not the right woman to want to date. If a woman wants a man who fits the stereotype they've been sold, of a big muscular man who doesn't cry or show sensitivity and is for all intense and purposes 'a brick', then it's quite likely she's an emotional time bomb waiting to go off and she's gonna bag herself an emotionally dysregulated and probably violent man. Unless of course you go in there tearfully holding up a victim card or bitterly discussing those who've hurt and betrayed you, then showing a little vulnerability as and when (and how much) appropriate shouldn't be a problem. If it is then well you've just dodged a bullet for the price of a meal.

[@TheSaneHatter]

I think I realize how the "be interested" principle can sometimes work against me in conversation, and it seems to have two facets. First, I often DO have a lot on my mind that I'm worried about: being an autistic/ADHD adult, I often find life quite frustrating, and I need someone to hear me out. This, alas, may not always leave me enough time or opportunity to show interest in return. Second, when I do show interest, I may try not to talk, but to HELP with a useful suggestion, gift, and/or favor which may work, but doesn't actually count as "conversation."

[@Yezebnesh_Maharat]

Hey, Courtney and everyone.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Hey Yosef!

[@Razear]

Yeah, people think the best way to enter a conversation is by trying to impress, but all that does is give off the impression that you're a narcissist. No one wants to talk to someone who only cares about themselves. And spending more time listening rather than talking is perhaps one of the most underrated skills that people need to adopt. This is how you can actually demonstrate genuine intent and good faith without any skepticism about ulterior motives. In terms of overthinking, you don't want to make it seem like you're trying to shape the conversation in a particular way instead of letting it unfold organically, but you also don't want to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind entirely unfiltered. There's a happy medium somewhere.

[@Neso-be2lj]

Real chemistry/connection is not built with words,Girls know that especially.It's gestures,touching and eye contact with little bit of words in between.

[@tittat9351]

Translation: be goodlooking or have higher status =)

[@michaelwarren202]

My 9 days of fasting is over. I've dropped 21lb and reduced my reading glasses from +3 to 0.5

[@Rick-s5d]

I definitely have to watch out for trying to 1-up someone's story with a similar experience. I've found it works well to bring up a similar story to be relatable, but without coming off as more impressive. It is annoying when others use your story as an excuse to talk about themselves. The minute someone starts to dominate a conversation, it is no longer a conversation. It is a lecture, and it is BORING.

[@willelniff426]

Oh how much more amazing our lives would be had the smart phone and “social media” never been invented.

[@shawngilliland243]

Amen to that!

[@anthonyc4812]

I'm boring and no one is interested in what I have to day.... but that was before my new skin care regime. Thankyou

[@andrewah15]

The key is to talk in a way that people would want to listen and listen in a way that people would want to talk to you.

[@x-train]

Another awesome video and hits home with me. I've always described myself as a boring person and have proven to be quite the contrary, despite being a quiet guy

[@kennedyhair8434]

Are you dating though.

[@kennedyhair8434]

Are you dating though?

[@x-train]

@@kennedyhair8434 Recently got in a relationship

[@kevintenney7802]

I need to try this. I am not good, at all at starting a conversation. I hear you, but I struggle. I rarely join in on a conversation. I'm a good listener. Just horrible at thinking anyone wants to hear my perspective.

[@sm5574]

Be positive and cheerful (as appropriate). Nobody wants to be around someone who is a downer and complaining all the time. Save the "woe is me" stuff for the people you are already close to. If there is something negative you _must_ share with a new acquaintance, keep it brief and don't go into excessive detail. A simple, "we can talk about it later" or something similar lets you move on to another topic without much awkwardness. Similarly, don't dig into a subject the other person seems to be dancing around. Be curious about the things they want to share, not the things they don't.

[@Ytmquin]

I don’t know how to start a conversation! I’m not good at small talk! Idk what to bring up or ask or anything like I need help please!!!!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@nicomirinda]

You're back in black ❤ One of the best videos Courtney!

[@stormchaser7992]

I am boring though. All I do in the summer is watch and go to baseball games, all I do in the winter is watch and go to college basketball games. If I try to pick up a hobby, I lose interest in a couple weeks and move on to something else so I'm not passionate about anything. I've never traveled anywhere so when I talk to someone who's been to other countries, that makes me feel boring too.

[@Stefita83]

It seems like you are passionate about baseball and basketball, which is good because passionate people are interesting 😊 Maybe you could try to book a trip somewhere abroad where you’ve always wanted to go. You might catch the travelling bug 😉 And maybe keeping up with the news could be a good idea too, so you can also use that in conversations. Good luck to you!

[@sanitary103]

Honestly who cares. The solution is to find someone who also enjoys watching sports and there you go. You’re no longer boring. Take care.

[@jamesdale9253]

picking up loads of different hobbies means you can connect with more people on more topics, as opposed to limiting yourself to one passion. Also, if someone has travelled a lot, use that as an opportunity to learn about the world and keep the woman talking.

[@stormchaser7992]

@@sanitary103 I know, and I have actually met people at games, but they always live in the city and I'm over an hour away so it makes it hard.

[@stormchaser7992]

@@Stefita83 Are you saying travel abroad by myself? Do people do that?

[@popofilipo7114]

People are worrying too much about pleasing others. That's one of the unhealthy mindset why so many are failing holding on relationships. Creating your own fake pretending character inside just to please others is the same as you cheating your own self.. Be greatful about who you become it doesn't matter if your boring or not as long as your happy about yourself. False character of yourself. All you doing is adding more heavy loads on your shoulders. People pleasure will keep you stuck in life like quicksand. Your mind body and soul is working overtime to please others and you'll get burned out fast can also cause loose interest and depression not a healthy path. Another bad habit that you keep doing wrong is you put too much energy finding self love. What makes you happy comes naturally with a clear healthy mind don't overthink it or else ended up miserable going in circles stuck in gears Another thing. Just because friend's or others are successful in their relationship meaning you need to copy there lifestyle that's forcing yourself on something your not prepared or ready for it. Also. Don't confuse yourself with that statement especially men that MEN CREATED EQUAL. In a perfect world yeah.... But in this world.. life is all about learning process and being patient You'll always face ups and downs in life. Do your own research too. My humble advice for those who being beer pressure finding a partnership. Take it slowly... one day at a time get your mind cleared out by over thinking about everything.. Every seasons has its own purpose. And most of all be a helpful person to those who needed your help seriously... and be nice love one another get involved even if you don't feel like it. Keep training your inner self how to love and how to forgive others who treated you bad and toxic pass relationships. you'll see things differently and experience things around you with no judgement. You'll become more confident not low self-esteem. Wiser not foolish. Loving not prideful. Faithful not jealousy. ect.. You'll clearly see what to avoid and not to avoid finding a strong relationship or staying single life too. You'll overcome any negativity that you're facing. Your mood becomes joyful even though bad days as well. Worried about others gossiping about you is a mindset of a people pleasure. Just be yourself and stop worrying about what others are saying or you'll ended up pleasing there needs and for you to be miserable. Nobody's perfect we all know that but that doesn't mean you also go down to that path with them and show hatred. Life is too short for you to waste time running around trying to please someone has no intention of interest in you. Used your time wisely to do what's best for you and your love one's.

[@1upmushroom13]

I really enjoyed this video and wish there were more like it on KZbin. Alot of social skills videos I've seen focus on things you say aren't good, but I agree with your points. It's about connecting with others and not about showing off or being charismatic, funny, loud or interesting enough.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

Depends what you are going for. Fun and casual no need to withhold those traits.

[@1upmushroom13]

@CatGamer-wc2ij I wasn't saying to withhold being fun or casual. I just think that shouldn't be the main goal when interacting with others and that making a connection as Courtney is saying is more important in most cases.

[@CatGamer-wc2ij]

@@1upmushroom13 I agree with you, the most impactful relationships I have had have started off serious. All the one and done have been based off the other stuff. But as someone twice abused, I am done with the serious unless a special woman comes along.

[@alexford8593]

Thanks for the video Courtney. I find that these only work here and there . I don't know what the other factors are . Such as she's looking for someone taller etc. Because if I try to kick off a conversation 90% of the time saying" hey I'm Alex. How are you doing?" They'll just walk away or say hey I'm Cindy but I can't talk right now . I'm late for something

[@christianrodriguez5346]

Everyone is unique in terms of communication and personality. For me I am more of a listener and ask questions and when I speak with a person I see if I can relate to what they say. I also share my pov with certain things. Do not argue though I just share it and explain why I have that view. To me conversations are more about being the real me with the person.

[@gooblinslayer5702]

Ask leading questions. Especially if you’re someone that doesnt enjoy talking about themselves. If you are already good at listening keep the convo going by listening and asking leading questions. Just as Courtney said about the hike. Following up with “What country/location would you if you could do a hike in”. They then will say XYZ place, then follow it up with questions about the place. Hell you may know facts about that place then start a convo about that place and why YOU want to go there.

[@LukasWeeke]

Yes, communicating solely to impress might lead you to connect to people with a transactional view on your relationship. I value honesty and authenticity in people, but I know that I won't find them, if I don't embrace those qualities myself.

[@emilschneider9974]

Don't listen to all the haters Courtney. A wise quote : It is the number of your enemies that truely defines your calling!😊

[@jeffreyugochukwu1942]

Definitely needed this video to help beat the "NPC" allegations a circle of friends accused me of lately 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@alimn8365]

I think people need to work on their conversation skills. I think Courtney has done a good job for the most part on this view. My suggestion to her is to reach out more to networking events to help both men and women improve their conversation skills. Also, she should talk to college and university directors too to help people with small talk. I think the issue is people don't want to talk about their personal lives because also parents tell their kids (particularly in South and East Asian cultures) that silence is golden rather than helping people with conversations. I think you need to do a video on first generation Americans and Canadians navigating dating too. I also think you should have put the title as "you need better conversation skills as a person."

[@ted-nelek-ne8tf]

In a realistic case .. this depends on the woman if she's into a mind blowing man 💗 In this case, any little gesture by him would make her laugh like crazy 🤣

[@theinsanity3445]

FACTS! PREACH WOMAN!

[@Sayakvids]

Great advice as always 😍

[@salthazar1237]

She is a dream woman. Insanely so

[@UggoKanga]

I'm not ugly, I just need surgery (and a lot of it too. Nearly all of my features are unattractive/sub-par/below average; and the ones that aren't are things you don't even see most of the time)

[@donaldmackerer9032]

This was good advice. I liked it. You talk really fast.So I have to really concentrate to catch everything you say.

[@lobsterattack4323]

Well explained.

[@Pslws]

I can listen and ask questions being genuinely interested. The problem I find IS WOMEN DONT RECIPROCATE / HAVE NO CONVERSATION SKILLS.

[@PRdude]

Sometimes I think I'm not all that interesting, but people actually say they like talking to me. So that's nice to know, although I'm aware that I'm not for everyone.

[@Pikawarps]

We call that GoodPRdude

[@Jime0326]

Thank you.

[@universitario7016]

What would you do to fix a possibly blossoming relationship I am harming severely by being a horrible conversation partner online? I am and usually was witty and quick despite being a little verbose. With her I've become just verbose I reread my mesages and think I'm not attractive at all as a pitential partner, while in person we had a really great time laughing and talking about heavier stuff. Now I'm really anxious whenever she stops answering my texts mid or after work because I don't know if she will initiate again

[@MichealHack-se7yr]

Your watch is beautiful

[@sarodiii]

The moment skin care comes I’m like it’s the Tiege Hanley again.

[@edwardcm9175]

Thanks!

[@ivan.457]

Pls do a video on how to maybe get a uni friend to like you🥺 she is in my group and we see each other 2, 3 times a week but im a simple uni mate in her eyes, and not just hers... how to change that in uni? how does it work? when do girls start seeing a friend as a possible partner or how does that process start?

[@EricMoore790]

It matters how you are perceived by the woman. If she finds you attractive you can make conversation mistakes and you get a free pass. If she finds you unattractive you being 30 feet away from her is problematic and she won't even talk to you.

[@TheeBlackSilhouette]

Internet = more options/opinions/ways of execution = more non-negotiable traits for a relationship to work (platonic,romantic *and* business)

[@Stefita83]

These tips are good for women as well! 😊

[@wheeltrouble]

Yeah. This video was just good all around advice.

[@richb2229]

Not so much. Most Guys don’t respond to conversation in the same way women do. Guys certainly don’t use conversation as a filter the way women do. Normal guys don’t think much about it, it’s often why they are bad at it. Guys that are great at it are usually Chads and use it to break down barriers women put up to select them for excitement and sex.

[@Herozonex200]

Not going to lie to you courtney, I think this is my biggest issues as of now. I'm trying to figure out why I'm unattractive to women now. I looked at myself in the mirror and its probably because I'm not ugly, it could be I must be too boring to women or something. Idk. It could be my conversational skills too because I only say hi to people and keep it moving lol.

[@fantasyEXX]

It's your delivery in how you say things. Eye contact, smile and learn to be touchy feely

[@sentiasatransformasi]

every girl I went out with so far always had a good time bcs of the things I learned from courtney n other youtubers.. but I realy suck at texting (after first date), bcs its so dry n may turn a lot of girls off.. I hope you can help make a video abt that

[@fairtaxguy60]

Your videos are very helpful. However, I am wondering what you think of Casey Zander's videos. His advice is a bit opposite from yours, or maybe just focused on the emotional aspect of attracting a woman. It would be interesting to hear your perspective.

[@xjoemallardx]

Can we get a video on building attraction next?

[@Mickie97]

Agree with your perspective Courtney ❤

[@CourtneyRyan]

❤️

[@AlexanderLodge1]

I Am Surprised no one has asked weather Ladies in Red are my favourite I was going to ask are these skills to help me with my negotiable techniques in my business in Australia? Or Melbourne For Other Countries

[@grovesy333]

I’d rather be on my own right now and sort out my own mess before getting with anyone

[@cymbergan]

Relating to #6, has anyone used an auditory or structured approach to remembering things like lists or schedules?

[@CGMedia2023]

The problem is most modern women are addicted to drama. That's the final result of 3 generations of women who were raised on Regina George, Taylor Swift, and the Kardashians.

[@kennedyhair8434]

You don't know any women dude. Lol

[@CGMedia2023]

@@kennedyhair8434 Prove me wrong then.

[@kennedyhair8434]

@@CGMedia2023 I don't know any women either.

[@CGMedia2023]

@@kennedyhair8434 no shit.

[@kennedyhair8434]

@@CGMedia2023 I'm not insulting a gender that I don't even know lol. Whenever someone uses the phrase modern women to describe women I can tell they just watch too much red pill videos

[@matthewcormier8744]

Your The Best Courtney ❤

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thanks for being here ❤️

[@hike824-9]

Hey Courtney. I'm very interesting. I also take care of my emotional and physical health. I'm confident when I meet women. I get rejected by every woman I ask out. What can you tell men like me who are always rejected?

[@johnorchin8567]

Very sound advice from a lady who knows.

[@Traveling_For_Events]

I want a relationship. Im sick and tired of having no one. Im pissed at god.

[@Andrew--S]

Me too.

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*Many men underestimate the power of storytelling in conversations. Sharing personal experiences with enthusiasm not only makes you relatable but also keeps the interaction lively and engaging.*

[@Sebastian-q3q]

Imagine if this was the afterlife in heaven. No uniqueness, no differences in opinion. We all just think the same for eternity how boring would that be.

[@VideoGameRoom32]

What if we both don't really have anything in common?

[@Pikawarps]

If you can’t find anything in common, focus on their preferred topic of conversation; ask questions, let them talk

[@AndrewBeezy91]

Thoughts on guys who have zero social media? I have a KZbin account (obviously) but I have no other socials. No insta, no Facebook, no Snapchat, not even a reddit account.

[@poeticeclipse]

As a woman… green flag!

[@AndrewBeezy91]

​@@poeticeclipse Haha thanks! Can I ask why do you consider it a green flag? Friends don't really like it because some of the sports we play are organized through Facebook and I always need them to talk for me there

[@SpencerFoxMusic]

Aw, you are so cute!! And insightful❤