You're Thinking Of Time Travel Wrong | Futureproof with Michael Swaim

[@BigWeenisEnergy]

I don't know why the algorithm finally decided to let me know that cracked was still making videos, but praise be this day!

[@nesamdoom]

KZbin won't show you anything unless you have notifications. But you'll get loads of recommendations of stuff you've never wanted to watch.

[@testtalon]

​​@@nesamdoom I think the algorithm does it to increase negative engagement from ppl not into whatever they're seeing. Then ppl that are into that stuff get into a bitching session in comments. Weeee tinfoil hats

[@GarrMatey428]

There was a short run of the old crew coming back about a year ago. It was whistful and wonderful. Michael here seems to have come back full time though, and Im here for it! lol

[@TravisCooney-u7s]

Same here. Good to know!

[@kh2624]

They probably paid them

[@TheDragonProject]

From cracked, to small beans, to cracked again. My heart is filled with joy. Great to See Micheal back here. The world is healing.

[@MisterFantastic89]

Proof of Time travel existing: 2010 - me watching Michael Swaim on Cracked to 2024 - me watching Michael Swaim on Cracked

[@dudepool7530]

I like seeing Michael Swaim back. However, I miss Droid Michael Swaim, and Clippy 😢

[@brentkelly9864]

Clippy was a sociopath!

[@sebs6508]

Daaaaamn, takes me back to a different time

[@ilshaguides]

Commenting just to let Cracked know that _you_ are the only thing I am watching, because everything after the post-Jack exodus/expulsion has been horrible. I am glad you're back.

[@joesjoeys]

I miss the Golden Age of Cracked's video content. I still go back and watch the old cast being amazing. Nice to see Mr. Swaim pop up from time to time! And that aint no small beans!

[@docbadwrench-cdmg]

I'm watching Michael Swaim talk about time travel in a video that makes me feel like I've traveled back in time. Well done.

[@Pohgrey]

Oh, Michael's back? I might actually watch this channel again. I forgot I was still subsciribed.

[@izzynobre]

I'm so glad Swaim is back!

[@addi7719]

Hi everyone! Swaim’s S.O. is about to have their first child, and he’s currently co-running an excellent podcast network called Small Beans. Consider supporting them over there as well! :)

[@pdonettes]

Swaim has returned. Finally.

[@GeezNutz]

KZbin's algorithm is really dumb because I've watched a crap ton of Michael Swaim(and all of After Hours twice) and it's just NOW telling me that he's back with Cracked and just as awesome.

[@jhonshephard921]

fun fact, one of the cast of Cracked after dark is now an Emmy winning writer for Last Week Tonight

[@lyndonsmith7772]

And another is head writer (maybe EP?) For American Dad.

[@ballman2010]

Yeah! Donald O'Brain is doing really well for himself after they stopped making After Dark

[@1217BC]

Suggestion: bring back Michael Swaim endplate appreciation

[@bobafettjr85]

I think terraforming would be a cool topic to talk about.

[@benhudson7991]

Like how if we could terraform why don't we just terraform earth?

[@robspiess]

Terraformers. More than meets the eye. Terraformers. Robots fix the skies.

[@stephen3164]

Start planting potatoes… 😅

[@doktormcnasty]

@@stephen3164 Seems like a shitty thing to do.

[@meghanmcdonnell8563]

Does reversing the polaririty do anything?

[@blacktoothlongwalker1037]

We did that battling the Shrikebats of Dromedan. Let's just say... there were a lot of casualties that day.

[@stryletz]

Only if only one of us does it, otherwise we’re just confusing the polarity.

[@ferd617]

Depends. If you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, you break the universe. (Neutrons have no polarity. They're _neutral._ It's right there in the name.)

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

...of the neutron flow, Doctor?

[@CliffSedge-nu5fv]

It fries your alternator.

[@Gabri_Lovecraft]

Michael clearly has enough experience with time and space travel himself ever since he got trapped in the multiverse with two people who were being REAL assholes.

[@SuncoLighting]

What does this mean?

[@vinnie666]

Ok, got a couple for ya. the concept that the universe may all be within a giant black hole, slowly moving towards the center and oblivion.... Also, electric based super powers. Keep up the great work, Michael. Love seeing ya around again.

[@megamudkip64]

Great to have Michael back! Would love to see suspended animation!

[@hecubus3rd]

Do time travel again.

[@andrewpowers2249]

But release it before I saw this one!

[@twig8523]

No. Probably not. Very unlikely.

[@myscreen2urs]

He will if you hit the replay button🙃

[@himothaniel]

We can do it right this time

[@michaelploskina1681]

I can’t begin to say how awesome it is to see Michael Swain back on cracked

[@TimmyT1234]

Michael is back!!! Really feels like you're sticking the landing and I love it

[@kristinrad]

Considering the guy I used to watch explain the mysteries of the science is now one of my most trusted news sources I'm looking forward to Michael Swaim becoming my primary source of another major aspect of my life. I hope it's how to fight my smart home.

[@WYCD]

Topic suggestion: Fashion! Computers are on wrists already, how long do I have to wait for a ring that unlocks my car?

[@WYCD]

Also those BTTF shoes.

[@leemayes4545]

I love the buildup to: "No! Probably not!" 😂 ...and it's great to have you back, Michael!

[@EllisThings]

"a one way trip to a thumbs up at the lava factory" is such a good line

[@djsyntic]

Me: "Oh cool he's included my cloning comment." Me 5 seconds later: 😂

[@Ebolaface]

I saved 'Agents of Cracked' and 'Cracked TV' on a hard drive and took it all around the world while I was in the Navy so, so, long ago. Thanks for all the laughs, good to see you again!

[@miasoper1964]

So happy cracked is back! I've been watching Michael make fun of sci fi since middle school lol

[@JackLangston-m1x]

Pretty much grew up with you and the old cracked gang. Glad to see you're still kicking names and taking ass. How about telekinesis? Pop culture's been taking it for granted for so long, I can't even remember the last time someone tried to actually explain or define it. Even though every other sci-fi universe features it in one form or the other.

[@Nonamae23]

I watched this video three days ago.

[@chefdean7257]

I will have been watching this, tomorrow afternoon.

[@markreed392]

Cool, I first watched it 50 years from now.

[@derekmccloud6333]

Relatively speaking

[@Helbereth]

I'm watching this video as you're reading this message. This. Exact. Moment. Every second of this video is playing as I type these words and as you read them.

[@Kufunninapuh]

I know this is a joke because I can see into the future.

[@dadefrost2059]

Hey Mike! For real, I've watched many many science videos about space-time and such, and you, in a comedy video, made it click in a way none of those educational videos could... Thanks, seriously.

[@NoahDreifus]

I'm so glad you're back man I didn't even mind they got new people for after dark I thought y'all were going to start possibly do bigger projects love and miss all the old Cracked team I still Watch Some More news with Cody and I loved OPCD with Daniel the Dannyest O'Brien he really personified my ADHD and OCD

[@memeporium2668]

i got hooked on your videos ever since that nancy grace video 16 years ago

[@OhNoIts33]

guys michael wrote a book and it is really good. please buy his book and support our funny man

[@helifynoe9930]

Roughly 30 years ago, I left Canada on vacation and landed at the Louisiana airport. It seemed as though I had time travelled. A black fellow at a fast food restaurant looked downward and simply would not look into my eyes. I spoke to him kindly and eventually he began to look around to see if anyone was watching, and only then did he smile and look directly at me. I was shocked by this. Off to the side behind me, was a huge wooden seat stand designed for shoe shinning, and yes a black fellow was polishing a white mans shoes. "This is crazy." I thought to myself. Then to make it even worse, there was a black man in the washroom who was to see to your needs if any. Anyhow, I was amazed at how things could be so different in different locations at the same point in time. This was nothing at all like how it was in Canada.

[@polreamonn]

Excellent work as always Mr Swaim. Something I'd like to see covered is the concept of "stasis". It's a trope often used in sci-fi when people have to travel vast distances. How viable is it for humans to undergo such a procedure without out brains turning to mush?

[@David-q3k9e]

Missed you Swain! Welcome back.

[@Starcrash6984]

Man, forgetting _does_ sound like a great topic. Also, time travel. Could you do that one?

[@aedwardsss]

My favorite underrated actor has returned! Glad he got his shit back together!

[@mattday2656]

Swaim doing anything makes me happy.

[@jacobriley2874]

Finally, a reason to watch Cracked again. One Agent of Cracked is better than None Agents of Cracked. Good to see you back

[@jsl151850b]

*Thanks and Welcome Back!*

[@zydratehore]

Omg the universe is slowly healing, Micheal is back!!!!! No seriously pay this man whatever he needs and if we could the after hours cast back I would die

[@markjames1908]

Hey! I missed you! Happy you’re back! A reason to actually watch this channel again.

[@user-ej5ue6lq9o]

The Sirens of Titan is actually Vonnegut's second novel.

[@raipogonowski8450]

"That's just how the universe is don't look at me, it's fucked up" is my favourite reaction to general relativity I've heard

[@shawnbell3468]

I don't know about dogs but my cat can, knows exactly when dinnertime is and when she wants more I'll tell her she has to wait till a certain time and she shows up at my feet at that new time. I have no idea how she does it but I think it's eternal as I haven't seen her check the sun. It blows me away every time, it's impressive.

[@TroutBoneless]

Someone needs to free Clippy from his clear plastic prison

[@ethansloan]

Scifi topics to cover: laser guns/disintegration rays all aliens being bipedal (and interbreeding being common) interfacing technology from different planets with ease energy beings hive mind species simulated reality holograms ancient alien predecessors/"seeding life" across planets pop culture stagnation in the future

[@MrMash-mh9dy]

Very nice work Swaim. I just listened to a podcast that talked about this part of the theory, and it completely fascinated me. It dealt with what would actually happen at the event horizon if you were the observer and you see the moment that the observed passed through. What you would actually see is the last moment before they did frozen in time for all eternity because all time is one time when you are moving at the speed of light. It's like the twin paradox but with time slowing to a stop when you hit the speed of light at the event horizon.

[@laconiclane]

More Swaim more of the time

[@JonathanLit]

You should cover teleportation. I’ve already decided that there’s no way I’m stepping into one of those things.

[@christophercouncil7728]

I know right at best your being ripped apart by some sort of wormhole at worst you're being cloned on the other end and disintegrated here

[@celer2010]

Okay. So, do one about Olaf Stapledon. His "Last and First Men" (1930) is such a crazy piece - the last humans in our solar system, before the sun explodes, send us "first humans" back a message of our future history. His book is that - a history of the human species over 2 billion years, as we move to other planets, become telepathic, etc. Wells is wimpy compared to Stapledon who, in his "Star Maker" (1937), gave us the "multiverse" and a bunch of other crazy stuff - both C. S. Lewis and J. R. Tolkien plagiarized him, for gods sake. You should be able to do him justice.

[@docgarby5558]

If only Michael wrote a short story, perhaps as part of a collection, that touched upon some of these concepts. Possibly the collection could be called nosidE and be available on the Small Beans patreon. Well, a man can dream... a man can dream...

[@rudycoaltrain]

Great to see you. I hope to see more of the old gang. A very very talented group you folks are!

[@Tornok213]

"The too good to spoil reveal at the end of Predestination" and that statement proves why Robert Heinlein is a Grandmaster and one of the big three of modern Sci-Fi/Speculative fiction.

[@timedebtor]

"Sichael Mwaim uses the internet" is such a fun show!

[@cpavlock]

Kurt Vonnegut's first book is Player Piano

[@LiamborninDC]

He meant the first Vonnegut novel with Tralfamadorians is The Sirens from Titan.

[@MrCodyRobison]

Great video. Love to see you back, time to go through your new stuff.

[@alephink]

The algorithm is against good content! Great to know you're back!!

[@lukeculbert267]

Love seeing Michael back.

[@JeepnHeel]

Love Michael and really appreciate the "time" invested in putting this together, but it's honestly a bit much. Please simplify and tell me how I can go back to fix everything

[@the-outsider8458]

I was literally just watching *AFTER HOURS* less than a week ago. You guys are so talented. I miss the cracked cast. Glad you see you're doing alright 👍

[@fracturedraptor7846]

Time travel is far more difficult than people realize. It's not as simple as just going back in time. Even if it were possible there's many things you have to be exact about or you're screwed. For starters you'd have to know where every object, living or otherwise, is positioned in time and space for the desired destination. That includes the Earth itself. Don't want to pop into wide open space, or end up in the path of the planet/moon and get deleted. You know, unless you want to break the unbreakable rule that two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Even if you sort all of that out and have some way of doing that you have to hope that the multiple time line thing isn't true. Because if it is returning to your exact time line will be difficult without some kind of anchor to show you where to go. There's also no guarantee, in the multiple time line theory or otherwise, that just going back is enough to drastically change the future/your present. You wouldn't think it but the tiniest of changes to the past could have wild results for the future/your origin. That's the biggest worry with time travel. Of course it's also possible that going back in time doesn't alter your origin but creates a new time line to reflect the changes made. There's a lot of unknown. We can speculate all we want but until we actually do it we won't have any definitive answers.

[@JacquesDSilva]

I'm resubscribing because they brought Michael back

[@PurpleFire18]

"If we could perceive time as it truly was, what reason would grammar professors have to get out of bed?" That quote from Bioshock Infinite resonated with me the moment I finished this video. I suppose Time Travel really is the most fictional thing in Science Fiction.

[@Nrdyco]

MICHAEL SWAIN IS BACK ON CRACKED

[@SuperSuperballZ]

What an episode! Here's a great idea; A.I and the robot apocalypse

[@michaelfuller9960]

Talk about post scarcity society. Or talk about asimov's neat stuff.

[@David_Last_Name]

My hot take is this already is a post scarcity society, since as a planet we produce 3 times more food then we eat every year. Meaning that sadly this is as good as it gets. Any food shortage is purely artificial, a byproduct of a flawed modern society that hasn't realized we already have enough land, food and energy to go around. Which means even if technological breakthroughs got us way more of all 3 it wouldnt make a difference. At this point on the timeline our problems are of our own making. Though if future tech got us the holodeck i wouldnt complain.

[@zenithparsec]

The "post-scarcity society" is my favorite sci-fi trope. Please do a video telling us how to get there.

[@2BitGamers]

I’m glad to see you back. Only took like 10 years.

[@Lexicophage]

Love the new show! Thx!

[@Drayygorr]

Great to see you back, I missed you all so much

[@TrainnWheelz]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS the KING Is BACK

[@AKWatchX]

Love seeing ya back Swaim.

[@JeshuaSquirrel]

A couple of thoughts. One, the show "7 Days" used a time machine that also had to travel in space as they remembered that Earth moved in space as well as time. Two, the satellites we use for communications and navigation, among others, have to account for relativistic changes in time between the surface and near Earth orbit.

[@nelsonhayes4]

Thank you so much for talking about The Sirens of Titan! My uncle gave me that book as a teenager, and I'm still pondering it.

[@andywellsglobaldomination]

I did a thought experiment of being blown back 24 hours in a lab explosion. Every time I tried to stop the explosion I failed and was thrown back again. And again. And again. I saw time unravel and be destroyed.

[@jamiedale1718]

Despite the video implying the contrary, I'm pretty sure I either time travelled to the past or have ended up in another timeline, seeing Michael back... either way I'm here for it :D

[@williamholich5591]

someone is definitely going to an improv show to yell all of the above now. Good job!

[@honestytheory7529]

Swaaaaaaaaaiiiiiim! 🫨 Glad to see you, homie

[@Mario_Angel_Medina]

Not so long ago I realized that H.G. Wells's time-machine (the object) is "anchored" by gravity when it travels throught time. Wells describes that when the machine is activated, from the timetraveller's point of view everything around it looks like speed-up footage, which means the machine doesn't "teleport" from a point in time to another like the Tardis or the DeLorean, instead it either becomes sealed in somekind of bubble where time passes much slower that in our regular reality or moves to a higher dimension where the passage of time can't affect it, but gravity still can so the time-machine is still "dragged" by the Earth throught space while it travels throught time (there's a theory that gravity is "weaker" that the other fundamental forces of the universe because its affecting things in dimensions of space or time we can't percieve, that the universe could have 7 dimensions, maybe even 11)

[@alexfoxleigh9443]

Holy shit. This video just accidentally made me realise that even though the universe was all created at the exact same time, some parts of the universe will be way older and some will be way younger because of relativity. That’s mind blowing. I wonder how old the oldest part is.

[@edmundthejedi]

I mean, if time travel IS the inverse of teleportation (in other words, movement in time without movement in space, as Michael mentioned briefly), that would explain why we've never been contacted by travelers from the future. It isn't that their absence is proof that time travel doesn't exist; there may well be any number of successful time-travelers floating in space at a point where the Earth will be at some point in the future. There could be a string of cars, police boxes, Victorian-looking machines, etc., floating in space exactly where Earth was when they left. Even if they accounted for appearing in space, any significant amount of travel would place Earth millions of miles from them when they landed. The window for using time travel to change events on Earth would probably be extremely narrow-seconds at best-and involve shooting a laser of some sort back at Earth from whenever you land. (It does raise the possibility of being able to see what was/will be passing through that same space at some distant time in the past/future. An odd-and very limited-form of FTL, in a way, but one that raises its own complications.)

[@raipogonowski8450]

I'd like to see the hypothetical fictional universe where Swain moves on with his life and gets a real job. Love you Swain ❤

[@Pretender6]

I recommend the fan-made game, called 'No Time', its a basically a unoffical fanmade BTTF time traveling deloran driving sim, if not a collection of other sci fi stuff. Allows for manually/remotely driving the TimeCar, entering exact time/date in the TimeCircuits, refueling with uranium rods, hitting 88mph etc. From driving on skating boards to (propelled) hover boards, its also have many fps items/weapons to use, defeating (time traveling) menances Whilest the Player controls the Marty-like character, it lacks any mentions of Friends & Family, other then the Doc-Brown-like character, who is a Quest giver Otherwise, its the rest of the world thats becomes more focused, as the player can freely explore the town in First/Persion, and observing how it changes over Time.

[@celestiallions4050]

What?! You're back? Hell yeah!

[@Officialencode]

the long short of it is that your time-velocity and your space-velocity are connected in that the faster you go in one the slower you go in the other. I.E; Fast time travel = slow space travel, fast space travel = slow time travel. AND if you could use infinite energy to do it, you could go so fast in either that you go backward in the other. BUT infinite energy is impossible so.

[@GoodbyeBlueMonday]

Swaim + Vonnegut reference = a pretty nice day

[@sa7ier]

SWAIM BABY!! HES BACK!!

[@miller2675]

That was just as good as Brian Greene's book! Goodjob!

[@raipogonowski8450]

Glad to see Swain liked and rang the bell keen for more swain

[@craigjs]

I like Michael. Glad he's back.

[@JKurayami]

Love you Michael. Love everyone there.

[@adarkerstormishere]

I watched Back to the Future when it came out in theaters as a little kid. And ever since then the idea of a Mr. Fusion hasn't left my mind. Imagine having a generator that could power your house for a month just by you cleaning up your dog's turds and dumping them in a container. Have you done any episodes on warm or cold fusion?

[@BaithNa]

I did a paper on time travel in college and found that man made time travel would only send you backwards and only to the point where you activated the time machine. Forward time travel would require a black hole and interstellar space travel.

[@ravenwilder4099]

Re: time machine needing to move you many miles through space: That depends. We know gravity has an effect on the passage of time (hence time passing extremely slowly near high-mass objects like neutron stars or black holes). So it wouldn't be unreasonable to say that, even when traveling through time, the Earth's gravity might still keep you tethered to the planet.

[@CapriciousChill]

Backwards (or sideways, or any other direction but forward) spacetime travel where you can change continuity is off the table, either because whatever is in control of time travel is a big sad meanie who wants human suffering to happen, or they simply never reach that point technologically. Messing with people's memories is the closest to making the past happen differently, or just forgetting. Don't need a time machine when you're in ba sing se. Here's a scifi thing to talk about if you haven't gone back to make it happen: shrinking. And also growing to titanic height.

[@matthewwriter9539]

For the super hero origin idea, you just make one video per super hero. Once a month you do a different super hero. On even numbered months do a Marvel hero or villain, and on odd numbered months you do a DC hero or villain. Then every so often you throw in a hero or villain who isn't DC or Marvel.