Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 488 w/ Bert Kreischer

Woah Mommies, it's a very special week so pull those jeans up. This week we have the fattest working comedian currently alive today. When will he die? The Mommies discuss before Bart's arrival. Plus, did you know it's SHART WEEK!?
Bert Kresicher arrives with all the hate in his big, over-sized heart. There is a debate about who the true Tour Bus Champ really is, plus we see never before seen clips from Brad's NETFLIX special. Do you know what a Mississippi Wet Wipe is? What's the worst smelling part of Brent's body? All these questions are answered, plus some new Sober October plans for the coming festivities.
saatvamattress.com/
yourmomshousepodcast.com/
www.merchmethod.com/tomsegura/
/ yourmomshousepodcast
/ yourmomshousepodcast

[@jr2340]

The only tour bus that Bert doesn't support is the underground railroad

[@craazy82010]

Benito Mussolini oh shit! lmfao. fucking dying over here

[@karenamyx2205]

Buses dont use railroad tracks... bit of a stretch. Kinda like the marks on Bert's skin.

[@MoveToDestroyDrummer]

HardRockBert - 300 pounds but carries it like he’s 410

[@NickC_222]

MoveToDestroyDrummer 😂

[@Coolyourjetscris]

MoveToDestroyDrummer 😭😭😭

[@chriswitry6976]

He STRONGLY prefers Caucasian women/people in general only

[@the_cheap_ones]

Sober October 2019 Milking the Men!

[@TomTudusHughes]

MoveToDestroyDrummer best comment ever

[@RandonBrob]

Here three years later and Bert is still alive!

[@chrismckinney788]

His DNA should be studied in all universities 😂😂😂

[@lloydalexander3738]

You haven't heard? He died yesterday. Was on a mechanical bull and had a heart attack flew off the bull and cracked his skull.

[@soggybiscotti8425]

@@lloydalexander3738 nah he recovered fine, they thought he was dead until they put him onto an ECG machine and the heart rate monitor spelled out Tito's and soda. They put one to his clammy cold lips and the Mickey Mantle genes kicked in and sealed up the wound as he pounded it.

[@lonestaronestar1845]

Unbelievable

[@marcop4845]

Same rewatching it :)

[@Max-zr7hr]

"I was drunk at an airport." Burt's autobiography

[@BirdOfHermes8381]

Fuck! I guess I gotta come up with a new name for mine!

[@craigdiniz3891]

His Autobiography was literally “I was drunk and I did this, then I said this, then I was like oh no, but then they loved me and we all partied.”

[@crystgreaney2092]

@@BirdOfHermes8381by

[@OldManBales]

One of my favorite things in life is when Tom imitates Bert's voice.

[@RachEE2471]

I love you mommy***

[@rathernotsay2878]

Hahaha same, he always nails it

[@Zecodar]

Indeed

[@christopherlarrea536]

@@rathernotsay2878 ls

[@nimmha6708]

it sounds exactly the same when doing a down-syndrome impression 🤣

[@KINGofGUNS]

Bert was amazing in Toronto last month! He literally crushed it...dozens killed....

[@rodriguezro9999]

He's so fat that your small child will start orbiting him if you're not careful.

[@bgold9]

LMAO this comment is amazing man

[@squidincsquid]

Of donuts?

[@SiavregNhoj]

That hat!

[@vazurro_world]

@@SiavregNhoj I can't believe it haha.

[@milesmclenon1459]

The guy laughing in the background always validates things I find funny.

I Love The guys in the back!🙂❤💯 Their laughter really makes the show feel alive& the laughter always gets me laughing!😁🙌❤

[@mf-ws3cj]

I love it it's like a laugh track

[@k9man163]

That "guy" is our favorite kinda Jew Nadav 'Blueban' Itzkowitz.

[@nickolasroig7360]

Yeah Nadav is pretty awesome

[@awoler]

Who is that laughing in the back

[@josephbehm3565]

Very kind of Bernt to change out of his XXXL Klan robes to do this podcast. Very classy Brett Creisher!

[@ryansanchez319]

I'm starting to think he's a Nazi Jew.. Burnt cashler

[@BirdOfHermes8381]

I thought his name was Brent? 🤔

[@jamesthompson9978]

*bruce kersher

[@daniellane3403]

What's really sad is that if he did wear Nazi Robes he would smell vastly better. So gross

[@BestItemsOnline]

James Thompson g

[@TheSeventhZombie]

I love that during Tom's shart story she was just sitting there twirling her hair like a woman truly in love.

[@jennhansonxlove]

TheSeventhZombie legit laughed out loud 😂

[@ejanekendig1984]

Came here to see if anyone else noticed this 🤣

[@mentaldisabilities1882]

My phone just got 380 pounds heavier

[@DougJK]

I laughed too hard at this

[@MilkChunk69]

Good Shit here 😂

[@mentaldisabilities1882]

Gunnar B It’s 380 when the camera is zoomed in tight on his fat head. With all them racist thoughts.

[@alexb8560]

Leave him along!! Leave Bertney alone!!!!

[@bevrosity]

aww man come on lolol

[@SL-ht1nu]

Genuinely love how happy Tom seems when Bert is around.

[@scarlettainsley9979]

@H & M UH hundred percent

[@PseudocidalTTV]

"Hollywood /Algorithm Tactics " aside, I'm convinced the are literally best friends. Not only best friends, but their whole buiness/family dynamics work so well that it wouldn't surprise me if both of their family's almost co-pend/enjoy teaming while they're on tour. And tbh the Theogate shit goes EVEN that deep. These folks are leagues smarter than the public give them credit for.

[@justpettet3506]

love that burt thinks food is making him fat not the 40 beers a day

[@Cavs191]

With his big ass alcoholic belly, he just drinks til he passes out on the tour bus and then he calls it the most healthy lifestyle he’s ever lived. Hahaha.

[@justpettet3506]

@@Cavs191 hahahahhaha so glad people don't all hate him so they can fill us in hahahhaha

[@sat8959]

The fat jokes will be even funnier when he eats and drinks himself into an early grave. You know it'll happen, his wife and kids know it'll happen, even he knows it will happen. It takes deep-seated self-loathing to live the kind of lifestyle he lives.

[@OGgluttonoustoad]

@@sat8959 well goddamn

[@michaelhand4246]

@@sat8959 Nah theres a lot of fat guys who drink beers and make it to old age.

[@cent-kz2ti]

Bert "I've been spitting on my toilet paper for years" Kreischer

[@dakronikles]

Didn't know it was called an Alabama wet nap

[@cliff5066]

I heard Bent Coastguard only takes food out of his mouth to say the N-word

[@PageShearling]

😂

[@alexiseptimus]

Bent Coastguard, could be the best one:

[@kus88]

best one yet

[@dakronikles]

Lmao

[@dakronikles]

What word? Nachos?

[@Yousuck00]

Tom: “he’s my friend I don’t want him to die” *3 years?*

[@DSchadee]

Bert talking about treats is proof that he's actually a golden retriever.

[@prisonnick9663]

Why did my phone start smelling like burger grease when I started listening to this?

[@AJ-ut8cz]

I sniffed my phone when I read this.

[@nickchezum1088]

Careful if he spills his titos it might ruin your phone

[@Neimonster]

I hear AOC is raging against The Machine.

[@Flannagan.n1]

It’s the obese KKK guy.. he has that effect.

[@mexikunt]

I'm not going to lie Jeans, whenever I see Bert Kreischer on a podcast I always feel second hand hungover.

[@rjames5967]

Saw a recent picture of him with his post alcohol binge bloat. Thought I relapsed.

[@lionsmanexx]

I find Bart funny less for his jokes, and more for just who he is as a person. I can’t help but laugh when he’s on.

[@michaeltonikov]

Bert literally drank the kool-aid

[@marcusking9299]

Agreed his personality is a show of its own.

[@DIRKCHRISTIAN]

the compassion and friendship they feel and deliver for each other is just amazing .....thanx guys!!

[@krstrid]

We need to address the elephant in the room. I mean, Burnt Chrysler.

[@christianjames6297]

Lmfao!

[@BeefHamMan]

Burb Kreeshirt

[@07coco]

The soundbooth laughter is genuine and always makes me laugh

[@joshuacleberg7581]

All these years later and Bert gets gifted Hitler's teacup from Tom…

[@mrcrabmoney]

That was so funny! They are outrageous! 😂😂😂😂

[@korosaki13]

Bert: "I'm cleaner than 95% of the population..." Also Bert: "... touching my balls and, rubing it on my face" LMAO

[@Leatherface2113]

Don’t forget bare boot constantly touching if his feet

[@dartsxfaller5993]

Fert is bat.

[@mikesullivan7153]

Fert is definitely bat...

[@NickC_222]

My thoughts exactly.

[@thelemonddropskid5445]

The Fertman

[@MrOtaku187]

Racist is Bart

[@MrBluntDaily]

Ferrrrrrt...?

[@trentm.364]

Jesus look at all the booze laid out in front of Bert KKKreischer at 17:09. I am guessing that will get him through about 10 minutes of the show before Blueban or Josh have to come in to replenish the stock.

[@DekkarJr]

He probably goes into withdrawals driving home in LA traffic.

[@percussionpunisher8694]

“I have no idea how to lose weight.” - Burnt Krystals

[@xballikesw00shx]

"Dude I've been spitting on toilet paper for yearsss"

[@jdw221221]

Alabama wet wipe

[@jakegbarrett]

Hopefully the floors in the new studio are reinforced.. I can’t imagine the damage Fat Fat Bert could do

[@DaveSP196]

Good stuff.

[@johannesbundgaard6907]

Don't you forget, he's racist too.

[@juder2]

Rest in peace odb

[@Th3Sav4ge68]

Literally one of the first things they said was that they reinforced the floor

[@jakegbarrett]

Aaron Harris I commented right as it was posted, so so sorry to disappoint you:(

[@SourHDHR]

For some reason, my dorm internet doesn't seem to have the bandwidth to play this podcast past the 16:44 mark. It's almost as if the file is too heavy and racist to be played. Shame.

[@SitKid721]

Feels bad

[@jennhansonxlove]

🤣

[@SheT0LDM3shes18]

Ya, good one bud

[@mitchellnewman9670]

By dorm don't you mean grandma basement. Racist? Really grow a sense of humor

[@iamthefuss934]

@@mitchellnewman9670 awe

[@samhornet1]

I thought I was comf in my bed settling in for YMH. Then Bert showed up and I was Mein Comf.

[@MordecaiandMonroe]

"im cleaner than 98 percent of people". Followed by a million stories about how gross he is.

[@polybiusnymb6446]

John Boucher He’s admitted to jumping in his chlorinated pool as an alternative to bathing

[@rogerwilco1777]

@@polybiusnymb6446 .. and his teeth have rotted away to nothing. I would be impressed if he brushes more than once a week

[@John-lo4xz]

"im cleaner than 98 percent of people" - Doesn't use underwear. Like wtf how did he manage to get a wife

[@Derek_Keenan]

He recently said he’s only taken 2 inside showers so far this year

[@YungCountertop]

Roger Wilco you slightly predicted the recent two bears one cave where Beet says he doesnt brush his teeth till mid day and only brushes them once a day 🤣🤣

[@johnoconnell8393]

Bret is looking huge. Must be pushing 1,000lbs by now!

[@tylerwilliams8791]

Knew I needed some racism in my life today

[@JohnnyReverse]

jk rowling is making me wanna take 10-12 benadryl

[@Calilou52]

The spiders are all gay

[@stevenjohann5435]

when you said Bert got a grill in Atlanta, I was trying to picture him with a gold n' ice BERT across his teeth......lol

[@itsMattydud3]

it's definitely "Hoe a man out" and I will die on this hill

[@vincenttrejo9706]

I agree thats exactly what it sounds like. Its not like its unreasonable to think he would say that too lol

[@jeffboyd8139]

Have fun rotting on Wrong Hill. It's home here now. Hoe me on out doesn't sound correct even in the slightest

[@GUITARTIME2024]

It's "h** me on out".

[@itsMattydud3]

@@jeffboyd8139 of course it doesn't. That's because it's "Hoe a man out"

[@SicFromTheKush]

@@GUITARTIME2024 dude if you use asterisks youre a panzy. Grow up fruit

[@weepinggiraffe]

Bert: I don't know how to lose weight! Also Bert: Drinks 3 beers in the first 30 minutes

[@patricktuorto]

"I went out of veganism and right into a brisket" - Bert Kreischer

[@gazprice8874]

Can we all just agree that Burt is basically Homer Simpson

[@ecdawg74]

Todd and Courtney are so accommodating to Bart's alcoholism and provide him an entire bar for his 1 hour appearance, high and tight

[@FormulaMonte]

Great pomcast mommies! Always feels like a nice reunion when Bert is on, I think the bond your families share is really awesome.

[@ericfannin8227]

The toilet paper convo: Has neither one of them heard of flushable wipes?

[@nephilimshammer9567]

Men dont use pussy wipes

[@keithriggle3192]

Just want to say tom you had a tremendous show at Chicago theater and I love this podcast and you married a helluva woman

[@TheAlpineShepherdBoy]

Perfect timing! I was just feeling super inclusive so I'm glad to see they've brought back the world's most racist comedian!

[@rsl5067]

YMH going up strong against the JRE this week, listening to both at the same time it's like Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon and The Wizard of Oz but with inter-dimensional alien sharts

[@iannewman20ify]

Cocaine is a helluva drug

[@Genious.]

I wish I could do that but the Rogan podcast airs at a different time than YMH where I live.

[@ryanh4298]

😅😅😅😅😅

[@jorgemunoz4986]

Haha yeah not reallly

[@pwbackupspot]

I mean except for the 3.5 million person difference in followers

[@jeromysmith2486]

I love how diverse the humor and energy is in this video, Bert has that undeniable goofball energy, Christina P is quite possibly one of the 2 most real and honest female comedians, and Tom is probably the best comedian in the business at not laughing at his own stuff during a set. Love all you guys, stay healthy and never stop!

[@polishvike]

Can you three just please do a weekly podcast together. The chemistry is so amazing and raw. I love it

[@PAINTnPONG]

They do one called two bears one cave where it’s basically this but with too many sponsors and the dead weight next to Tom cut off ;)

[@Schpiegel1306]

Bart is slowing down my phones frame rate

[@blkntanta]

He fit in your phones frame?

[@Schpiegel1306]

Well the battery is swollen now

[@akathehnic]

I think he slows my metabolism and brain

[@joeymorales2565]

This deserves more likes. +1

[@michaelhenderson643]

Bert "then i ran into the bathroom and rifled it out" Kreischer

[@iamrayn]

😂😂 best comment yet

[@cynicalrichie56]

Christina: Continually shits on Berts grossness Also Christina: *Burps loudly into the mic throughout the entire show.*

[@danichesney1876]

THIS

[@michaeltonikov]

Plus farts into a mic

[@stephlooney]

Such a big fan of all 3 of y’all. If I’m having a bad day I watch an episode of this . Just discovered y’all this past year. Christina always makes me smile. Love Tom & Bert. I’m hooked. It’s my great escape from life at times just laughing & watching y’all.

[@Coolyourjetscris]

The racism and Tito’s are extra tight today cool guys!

[@Coolyourjetscris]

Brian Fortner unfortunately this episode holds back on some of the racism but you MIGHT find a reference here or there

[@thomasbernard7038]

👖

[@Coolyourjetscris]

Brian Fortner sounding real low and loose right now my man

[@icecoldchilipreppers]

Awe he deleted his comments. Super low and loose

[@thismothafuckasaid7304]

Bert aka Mr. Big Words

[@rogerwilco1777]

Fucking Camp

[@thismothafuckasaid7304]

@@rogerwilco1777 You named yourself after a liquor store in Jersey?!...That's actually kinda cool !

[@General_Maximus]

I'm still pushing for a new Van Wilder movie where Bert is Ryan Reynolds estranged older brother.

[@Calilou52]

59:27 and 1:04:05 if you turn it up full volume you can hear Tom mumble about Theogate

[@paulysantaana1728]

Oh my god hahahahahaha

[@fargotua13]

Joe Rogan Experience #1255 - Alex Jones Returns! But I'm staying here.

[@MoFromEgy]

I was like am I gonna go with the world's most racist comedian or the world's fattest conspiracy Theriot and I was like I'm go with racist Bret krysler lol

[@rotta2736]

Alex gained a lot of weight

[@MoFromEgy]

He sure did

[@thelemonddropskid5445]

It's ok. You can watch it later...

[@MoFromEgy]

I sure will, I like how Joe kind calms him down and centers him and it's fun to see him smoke weed and talk about intergalactic pediphiles because that's what happened last time he was on

[@mattmorris8699]

I love that the episode number is the same as Bart's weight

[@ImagineMyEmpire]

Tom, Bert, Ari, Joe, Bryan, & Brenden should do a tour together. That shit would make bank.

[@xvi5333]

Garth Brooks ; Chris Gaines Andy Kaufman ; Tony Clifton Tom Segura ; Robert Paul Champagne

[@Bigmanjon2112]

“I didn’t shit my pants, I shit my butt-cheeks” -Bert

[@evandermajor7183]

That Alexa vid floored me, I love this community.

[@bigboo6191]

Thank you mommys for only having 3 ads over 2 hours, you are great!

[@dylanbrown8601]

big boo I have 5

[@tattootempest]

Just finished watching the 2017 episode with Joey Diaz then it jumped to this one and wow, your production quality and studio have really gone to the next level, and is so much less cluttered now :)

[@sbk1911]

Get Bobby Lee back on.

[@SirGrassyNoL]

Kvast i really like that

[@jakeybball]

Kvast fuck Bobby Lee, we need the Rat King first. Gang gang.

[@harisgul3537]

@@jakeybball i dont know if you've been following but it doesn't seem like they're fond of each other

[@mentaldisabilities1882]

Haris Gul Tom and Theo?

[@tommykovac1360]

Bobby Lee gets aroused by the name Steve Simeone!

[@Puckrocker]

Just a couple average Joes talking tour buses and Gucci accessories.

[@alejandrocastaneda292]

59:29 best drop in the history of this show.

[@KevinPierce93]

Never ever take the laugh tracks out.

[@gummy6114]

Wow Brent Christnerd. Bless his oversized, clogged up heart!

[@TheWanderingBeard]

I think one of the best features is you can hear the dudes in the back laughing haha

[@nickbotic]

6:11 made me literally fall off my couch laughing for no real reason at all

[@tikemanski3548]

I love how the way that the Camera focuses on Mommy Jeans every time she drinks from her water bottle *1:39:20*

[@balls2go]

Don't Think we haven't noticed your water-battle going on unmentioned

[@Ken-pv9zu]

Christine puts it on for the camera. Tim pounds H20 on the low.

[@gummy6114]

My favourite fat racist comedian.

[@closer20jc]

@@Rainersherwood hes a brutal racist. Someone said so sometimes

[@Lightspeedloser_]

59:27 that was the funniest thing that has ever happened on this podcast

[@AlexKerwood]

I can't believe they didn't censor that lol

[@jenniferdennis6465]

😳

[@chrisinister76]

The genuine love Tommy and berty boy and chris have for each other is fucking heartwarming you guys make my day,, Thanks

[@asce780]

Why am I not seeing any comments talking about how the potential best part of the show, Bert meeting Terry, was cut out for fear of flagging when this never seemed to be an issue in the past??

[@kus88]

very low and loose

[@patrickcatalano4795]

Definitely not something a cool guy would do

[@nate4234]

I think they are worrying about money due to them actually talking to guests on their opinions and need a sponsor

[@SacredFeline]

The unnamed sharter has to be Blueban, I feel like Potter would own it.

[@rustyspaugh1530]

Dude just to watch Christine just cover her face is priceless.... Like I can't believe I'm hearing this...lol

[@Kelticfury]

I love Tom's dead eyes while the intro plays.

[@zenecoley7965]

MINUTE 7:11 THAT BURP!!!! “Oh god” Christina P!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@sk8erpunk8389]

With the help of the Expanding Racist, Brent Crispies, you guys should be able to get a Papa Johns sponsorship. Maybe even a Gucci/Burberry deal. Get the mommies looking extra high and tight.

[@rigotomas1215]

16:52 I can’t get over this intro. It’s too damn 😆

[@Jay-cq5qr]

7:11 free slurpee's folks

[@taylorgoetz7604]

Yeah dude

[@chargersfan0560]

Left jre alex jones for this!

[@derekd4394]

Me too

[@BlackMammoth907]

Me too

[@Theguyguyguy]

I didnt

[@gavinhunt5417]

Same

[@nicholascash7002]

That was a mistake

[@dylandavidson7831]

Bert is the best YMH guest! Bert and Tom have the absolute best chemistry with each other!

[@justpettet3506]

ahhhahahah the party table burt requests with beer and snackies is hilarious.

[@torontoscott]

Man this episode is so good. What a classic. Everyone had my laughing the entire episode.

[@ryansharpe5116]

Tom n Bert need they own podcast together always epic

[@wasteland6961]

Good news

[@sbroggie]

That Oxnard show Bert was talking about was the second show at Levity Live, Oxnard. I was there. It was the second show and it happened exactly as he told it. The dude waited until the perfect, quiet moment to yell it out. It sucked all the air out of the room for a minute. I have to give props to Bart, though. He recovered from that shit pretty quick.

[@tylerb4994]

17:50 bro i cant breath 😭😂☠️ here after “2 bears 1 cave” and i needed more content 😂💯 this shits so funny bruh

[@clarkkane6021]

Tybetts so fucking funny😂 “The Body shots world, No blacks allowed 😂😂

[@subwayjrod1]

Looking to spice up your married life? Give your kids bout 10-12 Benadryl and try all 12 karma sutra positions with your 600 pound husband.

[@callmesyr]

I'm in France, and I can tell you people here are very happy you got Gérard Depardieu on the pomcast.

[@stylintylin77]

Why couldn't we watch Bert meeting Terry exactly?

[@pastrie42]

We need answers. The fact that I didn't get to see my favorite fat, racist comedian meet a cool guy like Terry bums me out more than black people trigger hate in Bert's heart.

[@mikebenninghoff]

Seriously. We need an explanation.

[@matthewhartshorn5204]

After the Mickey D's pussy pullout, I'd be playing terry clips every podcast.

[@minmatenx]

Shit like that leads to demonetization.

[@HonorThyTarkus]

Who is Terry?

[@bradleyroissetter6796]

I love the guys in the background laughing 🤣😂

[@anniewilliams1965]

When my friend says:text me when you get home me: home here now

[@letz5464]

Do you add piss on me beat me?

[@kevinflynn14]

Bert. I basically drink and tell the machine story and i'm a comedian now and that's my life.

[@CRFLAus]

You forgot to take your shirt off so people remember you.

[@kevinflynn14]

@@CRFLAus u right.

[@digitalsmithy]

The guy isn't that funny at all. Same with Tina tbh but I'm here for Tom

[@MichaelJKospiah]

You guys had a video of Terry before you even knew he was Terry (randomly watched episode 439).

[@asonunique3231]

they mentioned this last week

[@megyskermike]

The body shots world tour announcement absolutely killed me, incredible era for ymh + Tom & Bert

[@radtothebone23]

Bert genuinely seems sick of the fat jokes.

[@emilyburke2424]

Marco Hennebury agreed. i also think he doesn’t really care when it’s just his one friend who isn’t too much “thinner” than him poking fun . but then to have christina’s (borderline) too dry comments as a double team it kind of feels mean

[@macaronicheese8721]

He has said he appreciates it in a podcast and that it helped him at least at one point when losing weight

[@derkavondangerkill7628]

He should lose some weight by not being such an alcoholic then.

[@pterojacktylus2475]

I mean I wouldn’t deny everyone’s got to have a breaking point with this sort of thing, but I think there might also be an absolute minor of comedic performance involved knowing it’s funnier with him being a bit hurt and annoyed knowing it’s his friends who’ve brought him on a show to call him fat and racist than it would be to just laugh along the whole way through