Ep. 19 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

[@MattO2112]

My phone gets heavier when Brent Chrysler is on screen.

[@devinlauwerier404]

But forreal though,lol

[@Rogerkonijntje]

LOL!

[@jamestown910]

😂

[@Notrevia]

🤣

[@LPyellowking]

LMAO

[@muskylemon2310]

The way Tom manipulates and strokes Bert into a manic state, where he's ready to purchase a Cadillac Convertible TODAY is really neat.

[@hhcdfhngdzjjbf579]

Bert is definitely playing along with it though .

[@clintonleonard5187]

I have a similar personality to Bert, and I can guarantee that he is playing along for the joke. I do the same thing a lot, and it surprises me how often people completely miss that I am joking. But it gets laughs, even if people are laughing at me rather than with me.

[@migbee]

@@clintonleonard5187 you're bert and i'm tom

[@IDKJEJEHRBEHEH]

Musky Lemon manipulate?! I think they were just looking for a car big and powerful enough to haul Bert

[@buffalosteve287]

You’re a tool

[@edibleknowledge4716]

Im almost 100% positive Tom's job on this show is to influence every bad decision Bert makes. Ahahahaha

[@kozyg8116]

One day hes gonna get him to try crack

[@aaron4ism]

@@kozyg8116 him and drew got that set up already. Drew has already obtained it . The plan is in motion, just keep glassin' for when the crack video comes out

[@carsonottocullen1542]

Ohh yeah I remember in the very early episodes he would try and get Bert to drink all the time even though Bert was trying not to, it was soo funny to watch!! Hahaha

[@johnpeterson2335]

Ya ok fucktards look how much he cried about being dosed on Molly ..ya I'm sure he will just try crack ..there better off just getting home drunk and putting it in front of him..not for some bit

[@johnpeterson2335]

Him#

[@Kickasso]

Bert: "I feel like I should get myself a treat" - every moment of every day..

[@MichaelWutsch]

It's more that he thinks he DESERVES a treat for doing mundane tasks like going to work.

[@Kickasso]

@@MichaelWutsch please, by the time he stops shaking at noon he's "earned himself" 8 treats.#bertmath

[@kurtkugel2365]

@@MichaelWutsch That's how a lot of addicts brains work. Anything to justify over-indulgence. Tired from a long day of work, "I deserve a drink". At a wedding, "everyone is celebrating, I HAVE to get drunk", waking up in the morning, "man I had a tough time sleeping last night, I deserve a drink."

[@risaacsgwlax]

Love you all. Charlottesville is in Virginia, not West Virginia. Believe it or not we are a lot more chill than Virginia...

[@Tripskiii]

@@kurtkugel2365 youre an idiot,. dont speeak on topics you know nothing about

[@carterbolin8418]

I'm actually depressed that I caught up with these podcasts. These are the funniest best shit on the internet. I'm fiending for more bears.

[@sk8dudekid]

I’m constantly rewatching old ones. Which is why I’m responding to a year old comment

[@madelinegills]

I feel that way about YMH every week

[@rudyquiroz269]

Same here lol

[@ramsnation196]

@@sk8dudekid please recommend some, just finished 3rd lol, not sure why im watching this one just felt like going out of order

[@gaelangarrett7385]

Bert looks like an auto generated gta 5 character.

[@popefranco2710]

I know we're supposed to be nice but he looks horrible.

[@chuckrobertson9518]

STUPID MALAKA!!

[@lylechipperson3407]

lmao

[@sumtingwong5963]

Looks like one of those older dudes who wait outside a starbucks and listens for a young chick to say she needs a ride

[@XxKingkrabsxx]

Bravo

[@benw2119]

Can we all agree that when Bert laughs he looks like Chunk from the Goonies??

[@boofert.washington2499]

He really does! Get that boy to doin' the Truffle Shuffle! DO IT!

[@leaholivia4565]

Check out the goonies deepfake w/ bert and tom. .you wont be disappointed.

[@elijahboi3774]

He loves BABY RUUUUTHHHHS.

[@unknowncaller5144]

Agreed

[@ld2706]

He's not Chunk from Goonies? How is he famous?

[@brandonbever3989]

Tom: “I’m starting to tell you a story” Bert: “Yeah here’s that same story but one that relates to me”

[@DocManhattan56]

Every time

[@holleymi2000]

Perfect comment 10/10

[@stevebarr1017]

berts story about camp was a scene from the movie heavy weights lol

[@22.NUU.DRU.22]

Exactly. Learn from this Bert. You're kind of a self centered douche nozzle, not that I don't like you but damn...reflect on yourself, you're still a human being😑👌

[@TortillaWarfare]

Brandon Bever the exact reason I can only watch Bert with Tom, burr or Rogan. If not Bert will take over the podcast and it’s and Hour of Bert recapping his resume

[@kevinschraa7210]

I love how they go "cooking isnt a hobby" and then Tom goes on to describe how much he enjoyed baking pie as a hobby, without saying the word hobby

[@xsantorix8762]

"Black History month's already been decided, you can't vote on it" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@theguywiththetail]

Bert: "Oh, mine is so white!" Everyone: *not at all surprised*

[@LockSteady]

hashtag so racist

[@jacobalmeida7006]

Can you time stamp where there all surprised please?

[@LockSteady]

@@jacobalmeida7006 nobody is surprised. also, it's they are all, or they're all. not "there all"

[@Jakeinreellife]

@@LockSteady fuck off. its really not impressive to correct people on third grade English, unless you're in first grade.

[@travishunt4927]

hey, he's into black porn stars tho.... lol

[@erdnasiul87]

Tom is like a devil on Bert shoulder 😂 "Bad idea? DO IT!"

[@SteveCossaboom]

Everyone needs a "useful idiot" moron pal like Bert in the posse -- and at least 2 guys like Tom to egg him on. The useful idiot makes the rest of you look awesome, and you always have a new movie or slide show to watch after every night out!

[@Thejayfrancis]

I got the perfect secret society for Bert It’s called Alcoholics Anonymous

[@shooglechic]

Got me choking to death on spit from laughing so hard at this.

[@rams812]

Duuuuuude😂😂😂😂

[@RLybarger1986]

Someone saw the opening and took it....👏👏👏

[@jonnyincomox]

😄😆🤣🤾‍♂️

[@chain-wallet]

he'd only do it if they told him it was part of a sober october challenge

[@JustinPayton]

Someone needs to make a compilation of all of Tom's cold opens about Bert.

[@lewisaultman]

Tom: Does anything smell better than gasoline? Brent: I'll tell you what smells better... Tom: Cinnamon rolls?

[@duecepapoose1724]

Meth

[@colina1330]

I actually get that, though. The smell of diesel fuel is one of my favourite smells.

[@theoffspring1232]

We need a super cut of all of Tim's opening remarks about Brent's racism.

[@benw2119]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[@zaclikescauliflower2877]

I feel like compilation videos kind of take away from the comedic aspect with things like that where half of the comedy of those opening bits is how it doesn't fit into the context of the conversation whatsoever. I always click videos like that expecting to laugh and just wind up bored halfway through

[@jimothyj2638]

@@zaclikescauliflower2877 well said. I definitely agree, especially when the compilation is aggressively cut so the funny part is only there for a second

[@Mperkins813]

You could just go to the playlist with all 19 episodes and then press "next" after the start. Its at the beginning of every episode so not hard to find..

[@theoffspring1232]

@@zaclikescauliflower2877 That's a fair point. I would like it just for convenience sake. And the lack of context, at least in this case, is the joke.

[@nickearnest95]

I love how Tom was bummed when Bert said he doesn’t actually smoke cigs Hahahaha

[@petehakkinen3020]

"I'm a dandy." -Burnt "Pool counts as a shower" Chrysler

[@9inchsradius]

Bart "you only need to floss" krenstler.

[@colina1330]

Tom "this is the new most disgusting thing about you" Segura.

[@justinsumeland86]

I can see bert dressing dandy and doing a dance video to classic man

[@justinsumeland86]

Dandy challenge for sober October 2020

[@ThePoonraider]

The way Bert blunders into a joke. Timing of a drummer, I love you two x

[@inkonpaperhero]

I know it's jokes but after 19 episodes of this show I feel like Bert is honestly amping himself up to cheat on his wife lol

[@pulkmees]

It's also good that he talks about cheating on one of his best bits so if he actually does it, it's gonna be hilarious for new people.

[@nickharmer9722]

He talks about how much he loved cheating on his GF’s before his wife & how much he misses it now on the latest BillBert podcast. Turd Chyrstler

[@TropiKalBoards]

Honestly i think it’s all jokes.. he always says how when LeeAnn broke up with him he cried uncontrollably. And they’ve been together for a lot longer now, plus have two kids together. I truly don’t think he would

[@kwkirkby]

Barnt Kriesner is basically a virgin. He gets hot and bothered by cleavage, dude couldn’t cheat even if he wanted to. His words are basically his outfit he’s wearing right now.

[@lukecarodrums]

Kyle Kirkby He uses time cheat on his Ex’s all the time. He said it himself.

[@ianmcguiness3512]

I love that Bert thinks being a good dad/husband is having his family follow him around on tour.

[@SteveCossaboom]

ian mcguiness And talking about every embarrassing thing AND illegal thing he does to them!! Taking his minor child out driving when he’s totally baked‽‽ talking about seeing his minor daughter’s pubic hair?? Degrading his wife constantly? Talking about organising Side Bitches? On CAMERA??

[@turbo682]

@@SteveCossaboom Yeah fuck Ernie too

[@garthsegura4440]

Steve Cossaboom you don’t seem to understand jokes, maybe comedy isn’t your thing.

[@SteveCossaboom]

@@garthsegura4440 There's comedy and then there's legit putting your family and friends in serious peril. Haha. Did you hear why Bert and family are moving house? They HAVE to due to all the freaks and mutants who have rolled up to the house to meet the daughters, and his wife, after hearing all the stories about them ... and especially after Bert divulged his address several times on KZbin and his live shows.

[@garthsegura4440]

Steve Cossaboom yes because those stories are completely true.

[@quinnbrown6180]

Why does Brent look like a homeless man trying to blend in at an H&M

[@tonytoronto1401]

hahaha

[@absolutesemen]

Like he’s trying to steal a whole outfit by wearing it out of the store

[@JaSon-ex3zu]

who the fuck is brent?

[@ianharding4569]

@@JaSon-ex3zu Its Brickell

[@imbtyler]

"Can I try out these two shirts, and also take a nap in this dressing room for a sec?"

[@fleksimir]

In this episode: two people cannot comprehend what a hobby is because they are lucky enough what they love is what they do, so their work is their hobby.

[@TheSebass1234]

Lmfao I have no idea how Bert is able to always talk about himself in every comment or story Tom says😂😂

[@diegovaldez271]

i need a video of tom talking about ellis’ sarcasm and attitude

[@grandmodesty]

The more Tom talks about his oldest son the more I think he took on Tom's serial killer traits

[@manchild1111111]

Bert recons he’s broken hundreds of watches by showering with them on but we all know Bert hasn’t even had 100 showers in his life

[@alexfromandyandalex8032]

GOING_TROPICAL1 pool showers are still showers

[@iancarlesi2304]

I appreciate Bret trying to stay “perlitically” correct, straying away from the usual Klan meeting racism, such good character development.

[@guygambone5754]

Bert is the least dandy person who has ever walked the Earth.

[@gumborambo4540]

he showers in a pool. Thats the total opposite of Dandy.

[@mattlombardi54]

Bert looks positively homeless in this podcast.

[@xRamZx]

Just sat down for a nice work dump sesh, new bears up, time to earn this money 😎

[@jimothyj2638]

This podcast turns that smile upside down at the very same time you're making brown

[@peezdoc]

There's nothing in this world that is better than taking a shit at work while on the clock and getting paid for it!!!

[@alexis2kool]

10:13 Bert: "Can I tell you what I think smells better?" Tom: "What? .. Cinnamon rolls!?"

[@EcchiHeroOda]

Tom's bert impression makes me smile so hard my face hurts. Bert you look great for a newly homeless battered husband

[@jarrod5855]

"I didn't know their were white supremacist in Charlotsville." - Bert Kreisher "I get most of my news from TMZ." - Bert Kreisher.

[@dab1632]

I played D1 baseball and let me tell you....the bus rides are the best part of it. the camaraderie is something that is unmatched. bus rides, team meals, practice, man those moments are what you remember the most. I miss it every day

[@kanedavies1979]

“When I was 47 I got involved with the illuminati” Berts next bit

[@Prince_Luci]

Kane Too fucking gold

[@aj301292]

Oh so this happened 12 years ago then?

[@ralphpasquale8848]

There I was just feathering it on KZbin, when I got this notification. I had to follow proto and come here immediately.

[@ghostboy2x]

Good job there, chomo!

[@kevinchristensen2330]

Rest In Proto

[@jamesstewart9351]

Feather in peace

[@mimigiggles4199]

Bert's hat definitely has hot head stank.

[@andrewut7ya511]

Yikes, cold and clammy everywhere except that 95 degree woolen head igloo

[@SpecialHandlingUnit]

Bert Bingo: He laughs at his own joke, He tags someone's story with his own "better" story, He snorts like a pig while breathing in, He doesn't laugh at someone else's joke, He goes high pitch He says, "does that make sense" He mentions his show from the '90s He mentions the drink, titos and soda Choose three and watch the show, did you "That's a bingo!"?

[@MikeGuarino69]

"eyes closed karate" kids a genius

[@SteveCossaboom]

Leanne is sitting at home every night with a calculator out, looking at the bank account balances, and thinking: "He just has to make $250 K more and his ass is GONE."

[@aroff595]

I think the only reason she doesn't divorce him is that she knows he will be dead soon anyways, and she'll come out way ahead this way.

[@22.NUU.DRU.22]

Wow lol. That's rough" but if you know much about LeAnne, she's just as fucked up in the opposite direction he is. Has no identity, no hobbies, rides his coat tails and makes a shit podcast to validate her self...etc

[@SteveCossaboom]

@@dtxa7x Wow ... Chuck Berry? Really! Cool!!

[@johnedward8352]

Think you're underestimating Bert and overestimating Leanne

[@kevindube7096]

@charles berry Ahh yes. Spoken like a married man, staying together for the kids & in denial of better possibilities. Get you a divorce & some weird ass doggie

[@RedNeckPride20]

*Waits Patiently every other Monday*

[@Spencer121583]

Alex Forbes on that off Monday I always get so frustrated...and Bert is a fat racist

[@thomasj.padden5599]

Watching Burt struggle to read fills me with determination.

[@IceKoldKilla]

Tom is such a horrible friend! "Dude, get that. That's perfect. Get it today!" 🤣

[@raaamenoodleboop]

Ice Kold Killa Dont where a condom in India 🇮🇳 😂

[@markobrien997]

Tom is the type of friend that when you have a dumb idea, instead of talking you out of it he convinces you to go balls to the wall fully in just to watch the shit show unfold “how about you set-up a brewery”

[@PoleCatCreeknCo]

New podcast series with Bert and Daryl Davis titled “Convert Bert”?

[@Kbwintyy]

Bert has clearly never floated down a river in a canoe whilst drinking all day, because that is a fun ass hobby

[@thealphabeaver298]

WORD!!!

[@Kier4n99]

"hobby" 😂

[@andrewpowers3719]

"There's double the amount of Asians here than there should be." -Bert Kreischer

[@brianjohnson9802]

Bertha chrystals is my favorite deliberate misspelling so far.

[@agj3358]

Sneezes in coronavirus😷

[@SteveCossaboom]

HAHA "Javolt, herr fuhrer Kreischer!"

[@andrewut7ya511]

Put a fucking mask on if you gonna spread corona in the comments

[@Just0wnedEsport]

He wants to start families across the country. This Birth Kontrol guy getting out of control

[@grahamchandler8028]

Love the show , You guys are killing it , Also , if you need a guinea pig for some of that homegrown, let this guy know !

[@2m7b5]

Bert went from hating the idea of a minivan to loving it in like 2 seconds.

[@kcameron819]

This pretty much sums him up lmao

[@coldbeer9877]

Last time I was this early, Bert was still on molly.

[@ETAisNOW-wn8wx]

@@DumbleDoff Ari will be fine.

[@kingebeneezer7986]

@@DumbleDoff Ari still selling out shows in NY.

[@boofert.washington2499]

@@kingebeneezer7986 *Jew York lol

[@jameskushman9165]

Everyone knows the real comedy is in la..a real shit whole

[@rp1780]

Boofer T. Washington hope your kitties are doing well

[@PickleRick849]

Holy Shit! We get an hour and forty five minutes of gold on this dark Monday!

[@Hport2]

Last time I was this early, Bart Kressler wasn't being investigated for hate crimes.

[@gaso2713]

2 Bears 1 Cave is the funniest podcast. Brings me such a joy

[@moniquegamble7570]

I love these guys. When they laugh it fills my heart with joy

[@mobucks555]

I know it's been said before, but the guys laughing in the background really makes a difference. It makes it feel like I'm in the room with everybody.

[@SteveCossaboom]

mobucks555 Totally!!

[@Nick-kq8pg]

It's one guy and he's annoying af, he laughs way too often

[@RICHERTHANTHEOPPS]

​@Brick James ​ He's not the only one, why make a comment that is always said and is overrated. Everyone making lame comments seeking attention for what. To feel self worth or seem important on youtube, lmao yall losers. Just watch/listen to the show, don't need to comment on every vid like these guys give a shit about you, you're just a fan, a number on a subscriber list, all they see are dollar signs. Quit acting like yall are their best buddies.

[@petersandas3]

I can't wait to hear Burnt interrupt Mommy and talk about he/shes self for over an hour.

[@brendancrews7566]

I don’t think Burtn is binary.

[@cmb9059]

The 50 cent joke bert said is just every day dad joke.. lol

[@rutatutut]

40:50 And by showering with a leather watch on Brett of course means when he went for a dip in the ocean with a leather watch on.

[@cmighells1997]

No one finds Bert’s jokes funnier then Bert himself.

[@stickhurler11]

Thank you

[@lukec5569]

Jesus - Bert looks rough this time. He looks like he needs water and a nap.

[@drewcifer_420]

In his defense, I’m pretty sure they do this first thing in the morning

[@danielgreen2348]

C Coughenour and soap. Don’t forget to mention soap.

[@Bodybybagel]

C Coughenour he’s done bud..

[@ianstrader4466]

To much Molly from ari

[@RyanJames-iv3qu]

lol'd

[@Dill40k]

Geez 1 minute in and Bert already offended 6 of my favorite minority groups. Impressive stuff.

[@DopeyDude207]

Browns will be browns

[@quinnsack]

Having a "favorite" minority group is more racist than anything fat burnt Chrysler has ever said lol

[@Dill40k]

@@quinnsack I'm just following proto

[@quinnsack]

@@Dill40k lol

[@Rogerkonijntje]

@@DopeyDude207 Giant pos's amirite

[@trashtony_]

1:07:38 Tom: West Virginia Bert: That's where Charlottesville was 😂😂

[@xtriple0000]

This episode came on auto play during my sleep. Thankfully I was woke up by Berts SCREECHING laughter and horrible attempts to talk in the HIGHEST pitch NOISE ever made by a man. Nothing better than hearing that crap at 3 am, thanks Bart!

[@madelinegills]

Toms story about Leann feeding the seguras was actually very sweet

[@DRlFTIN]

TRUMP 2020 MAGA!!

[@King_of_Apathy]

vodkadile THANK YOU 🙏

[@elias6570]

Thanks for this

[@Kevin-ne5yq]

Good shit

[@chupacabra6263]

You're a beautiful person

[@freddymeisner]

THANK YOU. This fucking podcast is all ads now.

[@quinnsack]

Burt "I cant lose weight but I order 10 pizzas a day" Chrysler

[@yourenotrelatable]

Easily one of the best podcasts out there. And I don't even like their individual podcast's. Lol

[@quinnsack]

Bullshit.... burst stupid fucking fake laugh squeal eats up like half the recording time... chill burt...

[@benw2119]

I agree about Bert's...I don't watch it, but YMH has become a favorite of mine. The solo ones with just Tom and Push are usually better than their guests.

[@m.w.6526]

This, Tim Dillon show, YMH, tigerbelly are all good

[@arexgaming288]

Legion of Skanks 🙌🏻

[@SparePartsBud]

This has become one of my top podcasts for sure. YMH is usually just as enjoyable. Only ever check out Bertcast based on guest.

[@apexmma9425]

Another great episode listening to to Tom talk

[@lewis6590]

Something nice about Bert... Brent, of all the comics out there, you're definitely one of the comics out there.

[@digitalsalsas]

Michael Vick literally nailed a dog to a tree. That’s a crucifixion, brother... But as a credit to him , he was really fast and he did make good on his debts. Kewl guy club

[@erinr650]

Michael Vick electrocuted dogs with car batteries, but he filed for chapter 13 instead of 7. What a prince. 🙄

[@BillyBoyBBop]

Yeah I struggled to make it through the Michael Vick glorification chapter of this episode.

[@Fryed_Bryce]

Michael Jackson touched children but i think we can still all agree Beat It is a damn good song. Mike Vick did horrible things to dogs but he was one of the more incredible athletes we've ever seen. George Washington owned slaves. Lol. The list goes on. People are complicated. Nothing is black and white. Except for Michael Jackson, who was black and then white

[@tammijo]

Fuck Michael Vick

[@kevinguilmartin5090]

Yeah I couldn’t wait for them to wrap up that topic. I’m currently at work and now can’t wait to get home and hug my dog.

[@valor07]

John Mulaney might be a dandy comedian, just for reference

[@Ozweego412]

I'd like to add Paul F. Tompkins and Paul Feig.

[@williamsutherland1175]

Naa, Mulaney is just old school rich

[@valor07]

@@williamsutherland1175 lol agreed but I'd argue that those things are almost the same

[@williamsutherland1175]

Kuya Paul nope. old school rich is way, way more understated. dandies are all about drawing attention to themselves through their dress. old school rich think they’re blending in in a full suit cause that’s what their dad’s friends alway wore

[@chain-wallet]

sebastian also

[@orenogo]

The Great George Carlin: I've never been both fine and dandy. I've been fine and I've been dandy but never at the same time.

[@nicollevandyke5950]

Mike C ahhhhh, the greatest of the greats. My sister and I still talk about stuff heaven.❤️

[@sorryimsosad]

I love when Bert bases others will power off his own. Like “REALLY YOU JUST HAVENT SMOKED CIGARETTES FOR 10 YEARS” “C’MON YOU JUST DONT SMOKE WEED OR DRINK EVER?” 😂

[@Patrickisawesome]

I'm with bert on the all-boys catholic high school. Best 4 years of my life, got to be myself every day.

[@jasonstatham5165]

I remember when Bert posted about getting the hot sauce. It was like 2pm when he posted it on his instagram story. He just said he was drunk in this podcast while getting the sauce. I think he has a serious drinking problem and needs HElP!!! Bert needs to beat this addiction

[@aroff595]

In Bart's defense, he is also a pathological liar. There is a chance that this was a lie instead of another example of his crippling alcoholism.

[@huckleberrylachow2202]

Andy R dude yes he is the biggest liar ever. i feel like half of his stories are made up

[@SteveCossaboom]

Jason Statham You could beat it out of him, like the demon it is!

[@SteveCossaboom]

Huckleberry Lachow Most are. And the ones that aren’t are hugely embellished. You can tell, as he does the long pause when he tells the stories. And he sits up straighter.

[@huckleberrylachow2202]

Steve Cossaboom yeah you don’t even need the tells most of the time. just the way he tells the stories they seems made up

[@Dirtbikeman1111]

We’re waiting for the coke podcast

[@neighborbruce]

Yes

[@gumborambo4540]

@@neighborbruce It would be just a ramble, and im all in!

[@cembarut7012]

@yourmomshousepodcast HEAR US OUT

[@neverlistentome]

RIP Fedsmoker! (I think Ari took him out.)

[@SiNN4R]

Ari drugged his piss jug.

[@boofert.washington2499]

@@SiNN4R did Fed Smoker drink his own piss?

[@SiNN4R]

@@boofert.washington2499 he uses it as antiseptic for self dentistry

[@timeforchange-6504]

Boofer T. Washington nah that was piss spots guy

[@mattdyne]

It's not going to bring him back

[@toxotesarcher7287]

Ellis is gonna be a little Tom for sure.

[@jackberry]

When Bert couldn't get "astronomy" right I was crying 😂

[@samstanfield2634]

Everytime Bert says "I said the funniest joke" he follows it up with worst joke I've ever heard. Everytime.

[@muskylemon2310]

I was almost 29 minutes in, thinking about how stupid Bert is for detailing his future families on camera, and being SO transparent, and I heard my laugh doing that kind of whine like tom's when he's laughing hysterically. Thank god for 2B1C

[@FloorGorilla]

Bert wishes for the opposite of LeeAnn : Wrinkles, HUGE ears, shitty bangs and halitosis...wait...that is NOT opposite at all.

[@BL-wh2ux]

2B1C sounds like the name of some weird drug

[@andrewut7ya511]

Yea man, im trying to get a few grams of that 2b1c

[@theBROWNbanditP]

@Teh Jamez Is that a minecraft reference?

[@coltonfisher7469]

2 minutes in bert "let's call someone"

[@SteveCossaboom]

I never understand when Bert starts a story, then says he can't name the person, then says he better not even tell the story, he'll tell Tom "off camera" .... then half the time he tells it a bit later on, anyway. And, names the person.

[@danb7601]

Is there anyone who could so perfectly compliment Berts dreaming and crazy ideas than Tom who just sits there calmly letting it happen

[@lewis6590]

The Ellis stories crack me up god damn. Imagining him screaming at a jalapeno had me rolling

[@ryandunnlives]

Tom has given us an impossible task: think of nice things to say about Blort.

[@ShadowT23]

Well, I guess he wasn't too racist this episode. Congrats, Burnt Grissler!

[@Familyguy91091]

I brewed my own micro batch of beer and it is a fun process but bert would never have the patience he would be drinking wort

[@kjcorder]

so easy!5 gallons and a few weeks. but you're right. he'd drink wort or just un conditioned beer then complain that it doesn't taste right and is flat.

[@Familyguy91091]

@@kjcorder I cant even lie I cracked a couple that were only conditioning for a week that were pretty flat. Tasted delicious though. 🤣

[@VIi726]

Kyle Hruska I bet you live in or around Portland Oregon lol

[@kjcorder]

@@Familyguy91091 bert couldn't just relax and have a homebrew

[@SkylerGrahamHenry]

Bertrand you have such cool shirts! Your eyes are beautiful too. It feels weird complimenting you but I’m just tryna follow proto, buddy.

[@DingusBobingus5555]

Bert's laugh is so infectious.

[@DubsBrown]

“I don’t have a hobby” after completing Sober October which was just hobbies

[@Nastynati0513]

Best part of every episode is the first couple seconds after the intro when Tom catches Burnt off guard. This one was good but my favorite is, *2 bears 1 cave opens* Tom - "Will you stop saying the N word?"

[@yobouske]

The sauce is from La Victoria’s in San Jose. It’s as good as he makes it sound.

[@terryfold656]

I moved out of California 5 years ago and that sauce might be the only thing i miss!!

[@carlosgutierrez432]

Classic move. Park in San Pedro square, go to La Vics, go to the sharks game and then go to O’flaghertys after 👍🏼👌🏼

[@prttyboy126]

GOAT of sauces

[@Garblegox]

1:42:13 _"Once Ipiton Atine Inheima Hollywood"_ Bert's got a mouth full of Saka Soufle

[@Mr_AgentSnake]

😂😂😂😂😂👌🏽

[@collinbarnard207]

Ohhhh my god this is gold

[@mvk72]

Buddy's laugh in the background is fukin hilarious

[@sunejrgensen8516]

I binged these in 2½ days. Definately my second favorite podcast after Rogan´s, But surely the funniest!

[@SteveCossaboom]

Bert's got a "tell" - well, a lot of tells - but when he's about to totally embellish or lie about something, he sits up straighter.

[@huckleberrylachow2202]

he must do that a lot then hahaha

[@garthsegura4440]

Do you think Tom notices?

[@SteveCossaboom]

@@garthsegura4440 Tom plays Bert like a remote-controlled toy. Heheh. Bert is Tom's real-life, 3D "Tik-Tok" video, that he gets to program to do anything.

[@garthsegura4440]

Steve Cossaboom true to an extent

[@joanncaribbeanfan4505]

Good catch ☺️

[@benjochambo]

If Tom gets any balder Bert might invite him into ‘The Organization’

[@rxbenzo3302]

😂😂😂

[@williamdmoeller]

Bert looks like a homeless ninja when he puts his hood up.

[@JTMills-cr3rw]

A homeless ninja that ate another homeless ninja

[@arishillermusic]

Bert's laugh is legendary

[@gstrdms]

Bermt's dressed like Steve Martin in Bringing Down The House

[@davidvanpelt7557]

Tom: How are you going to be a dandy if you hate suits? Bert: Bert: Look up dandy swimsuits!