Ep.64 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

[@mcant17]

“I’m gonna listen now” *speaks for five minutes straight*

[@dsauce8780]

@@AgendaInMind oh shit tell me more

[@linuscore]

Bert: "I hate when they get my last name wrong" also Bert: "Benaffleck!"

[@delaneysays]

It’s not a name but nightmeer is pretty great too

[@Whystling_Byrd]

Beneflec.

[@daniellarsen2204]

Bert is the poster child for, "You can't outrun a poor diet."

[@willis7404]

So true! 5miles a day and still fat as hell

[@matthewfortuna3443]

^THIS

[@troygrandy7137]

🤣🤣🤣

[@charlottem.1477]

So glad someone said it.

[@heavenwasfool]

If he stops drinking he’d be like Tom lol

[@marcus11947]

Bret is the instrument that only Tom knows how to play.

[@jzen1455]

or tolerates

[@weaverfever2972]

and the noise he makes when he puts his lips on him and blows is beautiful

[@niteshade8546]

Then why does he make it squeal so much?

[@niteshade8546]

@Steve Mo it's more of a bagpipe full of booze and uncrustables stuffed in the pipes.

[@aMAREKanoutdoors]

It's also the only instrument he knows how to play

[@jasonlamb7329]

I can't believe Tom didn't milk this wrestling thing even more Bruce was really upset.

[@18Callahan]

Bruce reaches for his phone immediately…and calls people that don’t answer.

[@cdnpunk2270]

Pull up "wrestling"

[@ultranitro437]

Who? Brant Krichtner?

[@kusucks991]

12:08 timestamp for the promo clip where they get Bert's name wrong twice

[@tylerwantstobeacreator9936]

Thank you!!

[@realest_JoJo]

doing the lords work sir

[@ThexEmulator]

Thank you so much 🤣

[@gabrielsalas3230]

GOAT

[@Edboy33]

🙏 thank you I’ve been looking for this for awhile now

[@jacksonmurphy5837]

It’s kinda like Bert’s a 5 year old telling his dad a story that has no ending and Tom just has to sit there and listen to him cause he cares

[@MediocreTCG]

Dude my 7 year old never shuts the fuck up. But I was that kid and my parents were dicks to me, so I hear him out lol

[@KitchenerLeslie2]

@@MediocreTCG it’s so hard sometimes not to just verbally destroy my 7 year old. One soul crushing outburst and I’ll never have to listen to one of her pointless stories again, or think of my third favorite color. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But occasionally, I’m tempted.

[@MediocreTCG]

@@KitchenerLeslie2 one time recently I told him to PLEASE shut up for the first time ever, but it was after hours of him repeating shit, and before and after I said it I explained why and did so calmy. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that there was nothing more for me to say in response to it and I made it very fucking clear. Mind you, this is a kid that I've never spanked or anything because other than being an annoying little fuck, he's alright lol

[@MediocreTCG]

@@tui8674 basically

[@GV89bitch]

@@MediocreTCG @Jackson Murphy

[@kcghostt]

Sometimes I think to myself "Bert isn't THAT dumb, is he?" And then Monday rolls around again and I'm reminded

[@bodhisebastian6132]

You know I hated him because of his frequent interruptions on this podcast. But then he made the genius move of bringing Whitney on. Now I fondly welcome all of Bruce kurshers well meaning half formed thoughts and interruptions.

[@evanodaniel8666]

@@bodhisebastian6132 agreed 😂

[@DS-li3jg]

He really is 😂😂😂

[@arikulka7774]

Tom: “my aunt died” Bert: “how’d she die” Tom: “cancer” Bert: “oh ok good”

[@marcdemise2072]

I was looking for this comment lmfaoo

[@Jeebus86]

How old was she? 69...

[@superlightningohno]

Then he immediately tried to steer the conversation to saved by the bell.

[@rashidi100]

@@Jeebus86 nice

[@unclemikescomedy]

I'd pay to see Bert try to console people suffering from different forms of grief, I think it'd even be better than one could imagine (based on things already said like what you noted).

[@drewthompson5425]

Bert's laugh sounds like a crying child trying to explain to his mom why they are crying

[@wisterV]

UHHUNDREDPERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@seattletyler]

@@wisterV is this a bryan callen tells a story about living abeoad 100 or a mark sisson sputum in the lungs will be the death of you 100?

[@TomHardysUglierYoungerBrother]

@@seattletyler the fuck?

[@TomHardysUglierYoungerBrother]

@@user-jw8qu2ic1y he must have had a stroke while typing that. It’s the only explanation. Haha

[@juliuspronk7532]

If Bruce’s documentary isn’t called “The Mickey Mantle Gene” I’m gonna be pissed

[@richcheckmaker]

You mean Bruce Kersher?

[@nickf7448]

Unfortunately Mackey mantles family has already threatened to bring a lawsuit against Brent Khrysler for merchandise with the phrase on it. LAME

[@juliuspronk7532]

@@nickf7448 that’s really lame

[@smokintoomuch2314]

@@juliuspronk7532 Bert would do the same to protect his brand. Just a thought.

[@mattphillips6007]

Its spelt burnt

[@asall727]

1:07:22 " I would never be able to replace you" 😂😂😂 despite it being hilarious this was also a really sweet scene showing the love these two have for each other. The best of friends and even brothers. Sweet and funny 😂

[@chriscornelius6669]

I laughed so hard that I cried when Bert said he'd miss Tom more than his wife. My best friend since first grade recently dropped dead at 46 years old. It left a true void in my life, so I could really understand where Bert was coming from. Thank you guys for the laugh/perspective.

[@chriscornelius6669]

@ScAnDeLeZ Thank you so much!

[@vesi6602]

Sorry about your friend. Condolences.

[@MooseGlutes]

You can replace your wife but not your best friend.

[@gillgreig2633]

Sorry about your friend x

[@satanmitdengeilenbarthaaren]

My he rest in piece

[@josephclay7315]

This show is the reason I can enjoy the fact that it's Monday, and I know I am not alone.

[@Mr.Meeseeks.]

2bears in the morning bad friends in the afternoon. Mondays are pretty cool now

[@mitchdey7642]

Amen😂😂

[@jasonwest1347]

Monday wake and bake!

[@jojoker926]

I'm on the east coast just waiting for the 9 am mark to jump on here to listen to 2 bears monday morning at work.

[@youllneverguesswho886]

True story...this and bad friends 😝

[@ethangrimes3931]

I feel like Bruce is definitely saying Ben Affleck as "Bena Fleck" just to bother us.

[@nickawho98]

yes yes yes!!! how has tim not called it out yet

[@Whystling_Byrd]

@@nickawho98 Better yet have Beneflec hit him, buff boy gone hurt more.

[@apotter1187]

"Bert kersher... BRUCE KRESHER!" - The guy who pissed off Bart Chrysler

[@natemododragon9969]

One of those guys was Chris Jericho. Lol the Bruce one.

[@jordanstellinga1188]

This podcast should be called “Tom and Bert discuss temporary weight loss”

[@michaelschimming5942]

😂🤣🤣🤣😂 they should address this comment

[@JustinWilson01]

it truly is unbelievable how often Bart brings it up and how boring it is to listen to. Supermodels care less about their weight than Bert.

[@killymckillkill]

And the death of their wifes

[@giovannioquendo6305]

It should be called Bert rambles about none sense and Tom chimes in to keep it going

[@jaybo9335]

@@JustinWilson01 io

[@apoicalypse]

That pinky ring story was so heartwarming. Bruce is such a thoughtful guy

[@Travisgt45]

This is the best thing about Mondays.

[@BillHirsch1417]

This and Bad Friends

[@fgbtv3803]

Bad friends imo then this one.

[@ziggykorn1]

Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays

[@BillHirsch1417]

@@fgbtv3803 same. Bad friends is the best podcast ive seen in a while. Theyre so creative

[@N3bUlus9]

this Bill Burr and Weekend Observation.

[@hopeless__-ut6tg]

Hearing Tom laugh hysterically at the mispronunciation of Brent's name will never get old

[@connorfleniken3447]

time stamp??

[@hopeless__-ut6tg]

@@connorfleniken3447 @12:18 🤣

[@postmodoutlaw]

The realization that they love each other more than their wives was epic.

[@anthonyzullo]

One comic simply said it. "You can only ever truly like a woman, but you fall in love with a man." I dont think Id trade my best friend over my woman. Weve know each other now 20 years and we stopped talking for a girl for a couple years, and that left me empty inside more than the fact that the girl so happened to be my fiance. I slept with my female best friend once, and the day after was the last time we ever spoke or seen each other. Wasnt worth the friendship. Idk, friend love is just so much stronger than relationship love. You can find another human to procreate with, but you cant get back what you had with your best mate. Cheers

[@ABRAsylum]

@@anthonyzullo "I fuck women. I fall in love with men." - Chris DeStefano

[@boofert.washington2499]

@@anthonyzullo my female best friend and I slept together before we became best friends. She was a hookup from a bar.

[@jdhi5279]

That's how best friends should be lol

[@merlin4real]

​@boofert.washington2499 put a ring on it. If she gets a guy and he finds out you slept with her it won't be long before she cuts ties if she falls in love. Its not fair but that's life. Lock it down or watch it leave.

[@roscoetorbenson3635]

The slow march to this becoming a three hour podcast is underway

[@elfnamedtaffy]

I'm here for it.

[@Jay-tj8gf]

SO AM I

[@dexked]

Bring it on!!

[@LuiBC3]

I’m so here for it

[@BirdOfHermes83]

Shit, that means Brent fucking up even more commercials!

[@LuckyLadTV777]

I love how Bruce Kerscher is getting upset about announcers mispronouncing his name when he can't even speak English.

[@MrIvanko25]

It'd a nightmere you just don't get man

[@danb4811]

Yea, says the guy who cant type burnt chryslers actual name...

[@TomHardysUglierYoungerBrother]

@@danb4811 guys! His name is Brent Krenshaw!

[@Questioneverythingx]

These comments made my day haha

[@agmad2854]

@@MrIvanko25 us know know where yyutyt

[@zachlang6984]

I lost my brother to cancer a year ago and I'll never get over it, but what tom said about still living your life is so right I dove into my work and hobbies because I found distracting myself helps me live

[@Iplayphone]

Theo and John's podcast kind of reflects alot of that.

[@xisthestart1661]

bert " Im being more healthy" also bert " diet cokes are a treat for me Ive been staying away from water" love this bear

[@timmyneutron7411]

Tom: How sad would you be if i died? Bruce: *Harmonica noises*

[@treyjetson5320]

I dont think Brent talks about himself enough, hes too modest.

[@HughGRexshin_]

Here’s the deal man I didn’t get much sleep and I really could use this squirrel treat to help carry me through to port mayonnaise

[@agustinmiranda3168]

Heresthethingmaaan

[@markkimo]

Ah hunnerd percent

[@Chris-ly9uh]

Bert after watching 1 episode of anything: I'M OBSESSED

[@lauracunningham8888]

I reference and mock that in my daily life all the time.

[@ScorpionP2C]

Blart: I dont understand why businesses are trying to protect themselves this way Bort: Its not like those people are burning their businesses down Bert: I dont really drive anywhere or know whats going on .... yeah we can tell

[@mikehawk4455]

“I lost an aunt. Cancer.” “oh ok good”

[@neighborbruce]

Funny that Bert isn't worried about cancer even though his lifestyle DEFINITELY increases his odds of getting cancer...

[@dinomerk9149]

@@neighborbruce lol bert is lost in life I think

[@neighborbruce]

@Lazar MMA thats facts bro

[@kw1213]

@@neighborbruce What part of "Mickey Mantle Gene" do you not understand?

[@BrandonKBills]

Excalibur: “Bert Kersher” Chris Jericho:”Bruce Kreisher”

[@pinaoui]

Man...this makes me laugh every time

[@pgorodiloff]

Bruce Kreisher is joining the Inner Circle

[@natemododragon9969]

So fuckin funny lol Tom lead him right into it too like it was sick 😂

[@ImTheMayor]

Jericho 100% did it on purpose

[@BLACULA-Skeewoah]

This came up in botchamania and it was like my 2 favorite worlds colliding

[@natalieevenew]

Bert's reaction to the idea of Tom dying... is the funniest thing i've ever seen. ever

[@dalefrybread]

You can see in his eyes how devastated he was 🤣🤣

[@raularpasteuan1935]

Why doesn’t it surprise me that he can’t watch movies with subtitles

[@herbythechef7624]

I can watch anything with subtitles except for comedy because it kills the punchline

[@retronald]

He's also dyslexic, which I'm sure doesn't help. Imagine watching an emotional sermon about appealing to "God" and getting turned on because you *think* he's talking about dogs...

[@peanutgallery7753]

It's the mark of a dum dum. The subtitles might be weird for the first couple minutes, but then you don't even notice after a while.

[@eldar6267]

@@whitestguyuknow I don't like subtitles because I read too fast. It causes spoilers or ruins suspense for me.

[@dectocs]

@@whitestguyuknow orrrr maybe you’re the ditsy one who can’t stay engaged without big bold white words to keep you engaged 🙃 /jokes

[@shawnmcvey7789]

If anyone is a "ham and egger", it's either Bert Kursher or Bruce Kreischer.

[@someguy2775]

@@randygreen81 lol Bruce is a gay man's name

[@tommychong316]

Bert would fall in love with Chris Jericho though

[@joshabbott3227]

Ham andegger is a character on Bobs Burgers 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@JesusIsKingOfKings88]

I'm your 100th like!

[@iceruiz44]

On the outside bert is wild and Tom is tame. On the inside bert is generally normal, Tom is super fucked up

[@chipdouglas5667]

A huuuuundred percent

[@jdhi5279]

Never seen a truer statement.

[@nintendoROX121]

"generally normal"

[@raisingradicals5564]

Leeann is wrong: Your mouth does water in anticipation of food, because saliva contains salivary amylase, an enzyme which begins to break down carbohydrates while chewing. It's the first phase of digestion, and is one reason thorough chewing is important! Signed, a nutritionist

[@allieSunl]

Also, Pavlov’s dogs proved that our mouths saliva in anticipation to eating.

[@raisingradicals5564]

@@allieSunl Ahhh true!

[@corb1776]

"white bummer film" should be a netflix category

[@johnnypt14]

Otherwise know as "Oscar material". Same old trash every year

[@Korrva]

When they talked about how much they would miss eachother, shit was so wholesome. Wish I had a friendship like that

[@hewitttt]

Bert wearing a pinky ring should get him in the Cool Guy Club

[@josef2012]

throw in a pair of pink earrings.

[@kidxfamous06]

🎸🎶🎶

[@michael3448]

@@whitestguyuknow cool story Troy.

[@themcrib7920]

@@whitestguyuknow thank you Tory, very cool!

[@XxxgrungyxxX]

What the...... Hey jason what's with the profile pic?

[@OutlierConcepts]

"Ive really been staying away from water" Why does he talk about water like it's a schedule 1 narcotic?

[@beardedrake9983]

Just look at him

[@markpughjr]

Because if it was a schedule 1, he’d consume it like water.

[@OutlierConcepts]

@@markpughjr as the saying goes ...AHUNNNDRED PERCENT

[@Bleep831]

@@prestonhong4850 hahah “red flavour” I love it

[@BluntStuff]

This grown ass man went through a "water phase" and I don't think it lasted a full month. His addictive personality could turn reading into a schedule I narcotic. Literally in fact; ask Burnt his opinions on reading.

[@TheR3ALcharli3Br0wn]

Brett- “I took a whole shower” Tim- “That’s pretty cool” 😂😂😂

[@youericc]

Brett kersher.

[@gokuss15]

It’s pronounced burnt Chrysler

[@TheR3ALcharli3Br0wn]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Whystling_Byrd]

@@gokuss15 You rang? It's me Byrd Chritler.

[@omgfro]

Bert: "I'm going to listen more " Bert continues to talk constantly for 5 minutes uninterrupted

[@RCorbzz]

The problem is the "uninterrupted" part. It's clearly intentional

[@booyahinc]

Morgan Freeman: “They went to Nepal. Tim & Bruce were never heard from again.”

[@PickledMorty]

Brilliant my friend

[@touchmycamerathroughthefence]

Tim Sakura and Bruce Kersher

[@ManagFTW66]

Bert's description of films is hilarious. He speaks on things so literally, "a movie about platforms!"

[@clintonleonard5187]

Bert's idea of a perfect diet is the mom's storyline in Requiem for a Dream.

[@KyleFox2]

Bert: I’m gonna listen more Bert: Tells 3 stories in 1 minute and a half

[@chaunceytalent]

That and f*cking Nadav wouldn’t just play the end of the clip all the way through. Kept stopping and playing lil bits. Ugh!!

[@kylehoffman7798]

I love listening to an adult man that has children and wealth stumble through reading a simple add... Thank you bert

[@balsammcvinegar9996]

Burnt Chrysler is mad they get his name wrong.

[@jefn.3205]

Bart Krishna you mean

[@jefn.3205]

Maybe Burp Christer

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

Bruce krystals

[@Samuelle09]

Brent Crisipoo

[@Tacit_Tern]

Whose Bryce Kesha?

[@lazylion420]

Todd: "how would you feel if I died?" Bart: *laughs harder than he's ever laughed*

[@Doc_Hawk]

Because he knows he'd be more upset than if his wife died and he's about to publicly admit it

[@nixipixi8945]

Bert's brutal honesty is simultaneously extremely pure.. and insanely hilarious. That's amazing...

[@ragnorach]

I like how barnt karstner refers to his brain as a separate entity, it’s like he doesn’t have a concept of an inner monologue. the way he describes himself, it’s more like a user is putting in inputs and requests to a control unit, and depending on how the control unit feels, it will send instructions to the body, which somehow according to how he takes a general lack of responsibility for mishaps, the body may choose to approve or deny the instructions sent, and wackiness may ensue...

[@lavishlavon]

omg....dude you have got to go watch the post malone budlight commercial. i think theres 2 different ones, the 1 @the bar is best. youll see why when you watch it lol youtube that sh!t right now

[@brizzy86]

When they said “Bert Kersher,” I laughed as hard as Tim did.

[@joemasterjohn]

Quick question: has anyone ever seen Brent Crystals run?

[@Yoububehahaha]

LOL TOM FELL DOWN AND HURT HIMSELF SEVERELY.

[@DanielDanger420]

Really? When was this? How did it happen? Hope he didn't hurt his dick.

[@niteshade8546]

Out of a window that was a time portal to 2006?

[@earlymorningpodcast]

Thank the lord we have 2 Bears 1 Cave and Bad Friends to start our week

[@mercedontmiss]

I love how Bruce and tom just casually trash their marriages and we're all like just like 😂🤣🤣

[@zackgarcia5471]

Bert's getting progressively worse with his random tangents

[@lnoite]

It's the positive reinforcement. His shit keeps growing so he is more and more himself.

[@edvinernestam2332]

Jaime Duarte plol

[@edvinernestam2332]

Jaime Duarte llklklolkkkllkkok

[@JoKoy234]

These podcasts are the dumping grounds for these 2 comedians. They are at practice.

[@JesusHComedy]

“You’re fucking pugs now?!” Lol These podcast always start off gold.

[@herbythechef7624]

Out of all the ways theyve started that 1 was just okay.

[@Mmargo1017]

The dynamic between both of them is hilarious! Bert’s crazy ideas make Tom internally sigh. He knows it won’t happen, but he’s such a great friend he co-signs everything Bert says. I love you guys.

[@OutlierConcepts]

>Bert asking someone he's never heard of before, if they successfully ran for president.

[@bostonpride1717]

Lol Bert straight up calling people who don't want their stores burned down racist is the most Bert thing I've seen all day

[@bostonpride1717]

@Scott Duncan lol he called stores that write we support Black Lives Matter racist because they didn't want it to be burned or looted

[@666slateran666]

@Scott Duncan You are lyle, because you're backing Bruce when he's wrong.

[@John-po2qo]

When Bruce realizes that Chris Jericho is the one that called him Bruce.

[@moemessenger9958]

Man, that could’ve been gold if you just changed one Bruce! Still good effort! Made me get oohhhhwwwuuuffff

[@mikebarrett1462]

Professor comedy ^

[@rkdrama2443]

Screw fozzy! Brent / Bruce for life

[@johnherring450]

Gee Burt doesn't like looking at pics without him in it. Never would have guessed that 🙄

[@johnherring450]

@jaderadar glad you know what I like.

[@BluntStuff]

@jaderadar I exclusively like looking at pics without me

[@labor207]

I’ve never said it out loud but now that he says it it kind of makes sense

[@topher3178]

He’s way too narcissistic for me, I had to unfollow his IG account lol

[@Pbanders94]

Why is Bruce doing the read for Draft Kings... It should definitely be Nadav.

[@stephanyampolsky7187]

You just gave me an idea; bert and tom make nadav read the ads for an entire episode, but don't let him know beforehand

[@Pbanders94]

@@stephanyampolsky7187 FUCK YES!!

[@jenney17]

😄

[@kky4011]

The sponsors dont pay the big bucks for some tik tokd jew to read the ads.

[@stephanyampolsky7187]

@@kky4011 🤣🤣🤣

[@pastrie42]

1:07:00 in is one of the best moments on 2 bears one cave if all time. I laughed until I burst a blood vessel in my eye.

[@modelomacy516]

👍😂😂😂😂

[@TheMagnaknight]

Finally a good time-stamp

[@bmwmunk]

Burnt “Had a Stroke reading MeUndies” Chrysler

[@hiitsblank9190]

Who watches the ads?

[@lukewood77]

Brent: “Pugsley was the name of the guy.......I was literally on the treadmill today and I was I’m gonna listen more today!” As he interrupts with another incomplete thought! Lol!

[@RaDicAL808]

Yeah I was like wait Pugsley.... like the Addams Family?

[@Kwestdaroc4]

Bruce being so sad about Tim’s passing and vice versa is true BROMANCE shit right there. 💯 👊🏼

[@JayC_x]

Bruce went full hebrew Torah & married Tim's wife after he died trying to dunk

[@tactical_philanthropy]

"My aunt died of cancer last week." Kerscher: "Good." Literally.

[@filthyfrank.5]

Nobody asked 🤡

[@BirdOfHermes83]

@@filthyfrank.5 hahahahaha! 🤣

[@jeffhelsby7973]

Chris Jericho was the one that called him Bruce, I could see some in ring action between those two!

[@JB8-e8p]

Isn’t the other announcer named Bruce?

[@fomes]

Yeah pretty sure he was correcting him, like “Bruce, it’s Kreisher!” Lol still gold tho

[@drewwittry124]

The other announcer was Excalibur, the one that wears the mask.

[@pgorodiloff]

Did Cody ever message Bruce back lol

[@TWIMPPLE]

@@fomes I know for a fact he wasn’t one lol I watched it live and was cracking up

[@danbrown9]

I love when Tom sets up a bear trap for Bert to walk into and catches him hook lined sinker 😂

[@MadeInAlaska87]

Bert sure talks about how fast he’d get over Leanne dying a lot...

[@kennybuttons1763]

Wouldn't you?

[@prometheus5477]

Dude doesnt like his family much, trashes them all the time

[@Courier_Seven]

Without his wife he'd starve to death in a corner somewhere clutching a bottle of Tito's. Guys hopeless and he should be grateful every day of his life.

[@topher3178]

@@Courier_Seven he should be grateful that someone would have sex w/ him but as far as being more grateful ... she would be in a trailer park without him

[@littlefrog9553]

@@topher3178 She wouldn't. LeeAnn was the main earner as a building manager and writer before Bert started making a real living. That lady supported him financially until his career took off. Show some respect. Bert probably would be a dysfunctional alcoholic without his family.

[@mckenzieburrough1187]

Bert gets offended when people miss pronounce his name but doesn’t see anything wrong with how he says Ben Affleck. 😂

[@sCareCrowmerk]

This is his whole life, he can talk about people but when they do it to him he talks about it during the whole podcast and gets butthurt

[@AllinTMC]

Never thought about that until now

[@nateb606]

Omg I can watch the reaction to Bert Kersher and Bruce Kreischer all day and be satisfied

[@rachelgiddens8170]

2 Handicapped Bears, one Nursing Home.

[@sly-1429]

Bruce: "What's mine say?" Tom: "Sweet, What's mine say?" Bruce: "Dude, What's mine say?"

[@susie7336]

BRUCE! Ahahahaah 💀. I watched that like 10 times. 😂

[@curlsp7921]

“It’s an eyebrowsing age gap???” -Burnt Chrysler

[@tm36xseries]

Bryce cooshner

[@enavorkind2101]

Savages in the booth not telling Ted he has fuzz on his face the whole ep

[@damianmarshall5090]

Kinda mad we didn’t get to hear Bruce’s daughters joke about nadav

[@lauracunningham8888]

I know! Wtf

[@christionrice436]

It's wild to see the wheels turn in bruce's brain. This guy has to have crazy ADHD.

[@hollymartin4717]

"A lotta guess work" is Bert's general approach to life🤣

[@taylorgoetz7604]

Ouch

[@johnnypt14]

57:23 Can you blame them? It's easy to judge when you sit on your famous rich comedian pedestal. The fact that you prefer to accuse them of actually being racist rather then admit that they are so scared of losing their business they'll boot lick a fucking mob, says a lot about how easy you've been having it.

[@tonymorris4335]

Hey, 100% total and permanent disabled veteran here. Love that you guys think about what it would be like to be the guy that walks in and they can't fix you. You get good at giving up things as it gets more severe or you... don't.

[@weaverfever2972]

This entire “get knighted by royalty” bit should be the premise for the sequel to “Fat Astronauts.”

[@NickenChuggetsX]

Bert - "I wonder how blind people cut their fingernails?" Just close your eyes and try to cut your fingernails Bert. There. That's how. 🤣

[@niteshade8546]

It's a variation on the hack joke "how do blind people wipe?" "I guess that's what the dog is for" "No no. It's not way you think. The dog barks when the paper is clean."

[@kanifalam7835]

😆

[@TheDeal187]

They don't clip their nails

[@suliim]

Dying laughing while saying the most emotional stuff is amazing. “I would never be able to replace you lmao”

[@yeaokaysure]

How have I never noticed that Tom tickles Bert’s belly in the into animation?! Adorable.

[@djduzen]

Hey Chef Blarttelli: don't put olive oil in your pasta water. It keeps the sauce from sticking to the pasta.

[@toddjefferson8761]

12:42 tom going "Bruce Kreischer" always makes me laugh😂

[@Jakem763]

Bert crying about actually caring about Tom more than his wife is true psychos being friends

[@koutsa8962]

Brett is the kind of guy who mentions himself first whenever he talks about a group of people.

[@miker7795]

I try to listen as Tom's deadpan responses keeps me going. However, Bert's non-sequitur diatribes are beyond exhausting. The key i think is to remove logic and reason from your expectations.

[@WagonerVT]

@@miker7795 you tried way too hard to sound intelligent bud lol

[@miker7795]

@@WagonerVT Am I "trying"? Sometimes I use words that I like. I guess the next time i'll clear with the guy who uses terms like "bud". It would've been better if you said "chief" or "boss". They're even more condescending to strangers. Next time, i'll just say "bert doesn't make sense and talks too much". better?

[@WagonerVT]

@@miker7795 calm down bud no need to type up paragraphs because I upset you lol

[@miker7795]

@@WagonerVT Listen Richard! The next time you come Juneau, AK let me know. We can go fishing.

[@Ollie9mm]

Bruce- “my favorite part is that it smells after you wear it for a while.” Tom- “here ya go..”

[@Doober117]

I love it, Bart feels he’s SO famous that getting his name wrong is a cardinal sin.

[@dinomerk9149]

That shit was pure comedy, that killed me😂🤣😂

[@thekrakenguy6962]

*brent

[@Doober117]

@@thekrakenguy6962 *bruce

[@Goldenspiderducck]

At this point, I honestly don’t remember what Bruce’s real name is anymore.

[@alexanderlaplante5477]

Hearing the two of you laughing together makes me so happy,but also sad,because I miss laughing with friends like that...fuck covid19.thanks guys!

[@adam3350]

Bert "let your store burn down to support BLM" Kreischer

[@duncanfromunderthebridge]

Lmao, yeah that was the worst take I’ve ever heard.

[@calebwhite1999]

Bert needs to leave that pod of wealth for a moment and realize that being desperate to save your store doesn't necessarily mean you're a racist.

[@SooperTim]

Bert Today: "Tiger you want two ride or die buddies that won't sell you out?!?!?" Bert Every Single Other Day Ever: "Do not tell me your secrets, I'll tell the world a HUNDRED percent"

[@toriallen8874]

22:03 “I LOVE black licorice.” That explains so so much

[@lazylion420]

Todd's side of the table; paperwork full of notes... Bart's side of the table; five separate sources of liquid