YouTube's Terrible Christmas Movies

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[@daMEGatron]

Drew can’t even upload on time ugh he’s so annoying I don’t know why I even watch him. Not to mention how stinky he is 🙄

[@rhombusted2798]

congrats!

[@GA_131]

So stinky 🤮

[@klaran2894]

YOU DID IT

[@pants4736]

ikr... bring the blue haired guy back 😐

[@butterytomatoes747]

You made the funny

[@TimmyTomsen]

It's one Christmas party Micheal, what could it cost? $12,000 Dollars?

[@cozycasasmr4510]

Lmao

[@R3dFlames]

Is this an Arrested Development reference or am I going mad? (Could always be both)

[@anmoonage]

@@R3dFlames was literally wondering the same thing

[@IjeomaThePlantMama]

@@R3dFlames yes to both

[@gingergamer3270]

Itonyachristmasparty

[@voidthroat]

"he's like if someone 3d printed a human being" is legitimately the funniest description of a person omg

[@AwesomeFreakMadd]

that + a john hamm/dog lovechild, i died!

[@lucienfortner841]

That one absolutely sent me 😂

[@bellasmith7015]

And it is so.accurate.

[@bookle5829]

He looks like bootleg John Cena.

[@ypgdomo]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@number1freshlemon56]

Honestly with the second movie, you could pretty easily turn it into a psychological thriller about a woman being brainwashed by everyone around her to marry an abusive man

[@tinyblueunicorn7807]

If the creators wanted to feel super clever it could even be meta commentary on the conventions of romance stories, especially Christmas romcoms. The townspeople are the writers and representatives of the audience who hunger for a popular pre-decided narrative and subsequently force random unsuspecting visitors who fit the description into these character roles against their will or knowledge. All the while manipulating events to serve the storyline and get them to the preferred ending, all directed by the love interest. The longer they stay there, the more agency they lose and they inevitably forget who they originally were outside the confines of the cult town until they believe that is who they are, where they belong and what they are destined for. If they don't realise and escape before the plot is complete, they are stuck there forever acting out the same movie (or maybe this simply happens to every city woman who passes through and they pair them off one by one - the grandma was probably one at some point and now she is simply honouring and enforcing the tradition). They are all sacrifices for and pawns in the agenda of the powerful organisation who controls them, for the town cannot survive without this ritual. Think Stepford Wives meets Cabin in the Woods, but with more hot chocolate and less sex. P.S. If you got this far thanks for reading. I got a bit carried away because this premise was similar to the project I did for a creative writing module this year and it's still fresh in my mind. 😅

[@Alexander-hi8bo]

@@tinyblueunicorn7807I would watch that movie

[@anonymouscadaver]

@@tinyblueunicorn7807take it to a publisher bro I did NOT order a yappachino 😭😭🙏🙏

[@Luka0420]

@@tinyblueunicorn7807high key I wanna watch this or read it in a book or something

[@cly_]

Sounds like midsommar: Christmas edition

[@dansalon3267]

Are we gonna gloss over the fact that her typical New York job is the LEAD EDITOR AT THE TIMES

[@Random-sk6hm]

EXACTLY LIKE WHAAAT AHJGSXDSKHSKSJXAKS

[@breadg1818]

Oh boy do i want to be THE UNITED STATES PRESIDENT or marry john Smith from the cheese cake factory.

[@garf0906]

as I read this comment that line was read

[@immyg_563]

ikr! if it was job you could pretty much get anywhere like a doctor or something I could understand moving for a guy,, not one you just met but not for lead editor at an absolutely huge paper

[@alexakate]

@@immyg_563fr like he can be a cop anywhere why didn’t she just bring him back to nyc with her??

[@KitchenOnTheLeft]

The movie wants us to believe that the interior decorating cost $12,000 when the movie clearly couldn’t afford to pay $12,000 to have someone actually decorate the set

[@iamcool544]

if she does 8 hours a day 7 days a week he was paying her 71 dollars an hour to decorate.

[@tricursor2481]

What are you talking about? I didn't even notice that with how elegantly they didn't shoot most of each room, leaving it to the viewer's imagination to decide what a 12k/job decorator would have done to the house. My imagination imagined they completely gutted everything we don't see and replaced it with decorations our puny minds can't even begin to process, let alone describe.

[@woolee4400]

IYou 😅😅 I t

[@yourleftkidney6105]

@@iamcool544 help that's so much per hour 😭

[@iamcool544]

@@yourleftkidney6105 Its certainly more than I pay right kidney

[@bronzergoth7598]

joe got a callback when he auditioned for the christmas mannequin movie, but they concluded he was overqualified

[@Jasnah.Kholin]

sir, you win the internet

[@graeeyy6080]

i have never laughed more at a youtube comment. thank you, friend.

[@reaganclairepryor7341]

5 stars

[@Pandidolod]

Dude admitting he was abusing his power as a police officer just to stalk the woman who scorned him was definitely a KZbin moment.

[@afellowpotato]

I'm just replying so you can see how much likes you got

[@BenMarcWilliams]

That was a real _choice_ to admit that out loud.

[@statementofjoespooky1660]

Someone thought of that line, wrote it down, presumably had it read by at least one other person before they approved the script, then told the actor he was going to say the line, and then the actor said it, and the scene was edited, the movie was (presumably) watched by the editors for mistakes before posting, and then it was posted to KZbin. And somehow no one pointed out how insane it was. I genuinely don’t understand how the fuck they were like “yep, this is definitely a good line to put in our movie, no issues here”.

[@xyrissavage4983]

rtgame moment

[@stawklove2990]

What does scorned mean? /genq

[@juliannolastname2442]

11:27 For my fellow non-Americans, she was going 82 km/h. In a residential area. In snowy conditions. In a 40 km/h zone. Yeah. That’s a reckless driving charge. Poor you.

[@francomasiniofficial]

non-Americans, non-Liberians, non-Myanmar

[@jordanayala5610]

I’m pretty sure double the speed limit is completely universal

[@hedgehog3180]

I'm more shocked that 40 is the speed limit in residential areas, it's 30 here.

[@helloworld2409]

​@@hedgehog3180im not aure exactly where you're from, but a lot of suburbs in the US have big lawns whereas suburbs in a lot of other countries dont, that extra buffer is likely a factor

[@ffs_]

Hooning through the surburbs

[@goosegoose5737]

I am legitimately freaked out by the way the girl in the second movie is barely even interested in the guy yet everyone pressures her into leaving her dream job and the life she’s made for herself to be with him. This is romance?

[@trybunt]

I'm worried that she doesn't think speeding is a serious problem over the holidays. She deserved that fine, you can't go 50 in a 25

[@mosquitopyjamas9048]

Yeah to be honest , she’s awful and this is karma

[@bakerboat4572]

@@trybunt To be fair, the establishing shot clearly showed her going 25 mph or less in the background.

[@hebakhalid437]

And her work life is just as controlling. She’s in her hometown so i’m assuming she’s on break yet her employer wants her to cut it short and return to NY

[@ashikjaman1940]

God saw her speeding and decides to send her to hell early lol

[@itzelpretzel]

The grandma saying "Why did you give her a choice?" was genuinely unsettling

[@lycianempire]

It suddenly becomes Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a dose of Misery.

[@RedCaio]

If a person breaks things off and tries to drive away from you, do NOT chase her and abuse your power to take their agency away. It's not romantic, it's unhealthy and illegal

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

Was waiting for her to continue with "The last time you got dumped by the cheerleader during your high school, I had to take matters into my own hands because you were too soft."

[@Yougotcaged102]

Honestly, that felt like a scene from a movie about a Psychopath. Even the way the dude was acting in that scene felt like he was trying to portray a serial killer

[@damienearl8302]

@@RedCaio Agreed! I never quite got the whole "If someone breaks up with you, grab their arm and tell them how much you love them until they agree to stay with you forever!" shtick that a lot of these movies go with

[@isenhelldtheskunk1899]

Joe Kurak has a hidden talent for physical comedy that is getting massively wasted. Bro would be a great sitcom actor.

[@A-man1998]

Or a horror movie monster. I think that fits.

[@stardustfactory8311]

@@A-man1998it’s the borderline bad acting, uncanny version of a person, smiles with blank eyes..

[@itssyagirld8727]

@@stardustfactory8311with those dead eyes

[@mirrorocean]

Urgh, the 'romance' in the second Joe film was so unbelievably sad and disturbing. Everyone pressured her to give up everything she loved for a guy she just met and already could barely tolerate, and she eventually just...caved. It gives me the shivers.

[@snowqueen51]

Not to mention the family members with no boundaries.

[@alligatorsun1854]

@@snowqueen51 As well as the Grandma Williams' "Why did you give her a choice?" Like why are you obsessed with their relationship??? It's only been 5 days, you barely know anything about her and yet you're upset that they can't date each other???? Even if they were dating for a longer time, she shouldn't try to force a relationship. Grandma gives me the creeps.

[@def_not-luigi]

It gives me early 2000s romance vibes lol

[@Office_chair]

I don't blame you I find it really disturbing as well. She was basically pressured and harassed and manipulated into marrying this man that she barely knew and is now stuck with him and his insane grandma.... This isn't romantic whatsoever I just wonder who's disturbing idea this was.

[@def_not-luigi]

@@Office_chair i think u missed the point....it was a seriel killer and she was his victim, and the entire town was being mind controlled by grandma

[@Missingno4]

Joe looks like someone spliced together John Cena and Jerma in a lab

[@tellulyn]

he looks like jerma but 10 years older 😭😭😭

[@quincyquiz]

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID LMAO

[@undeadbeanz]

IM SO GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE

[@Leviathan56]

Honestly he probably came from the same planet as jerma

[@femalesinc.5863]

RIGHT HE FUCKING LOOKS LIKE JERMAA

[@cornflakedd]

The guy in the movie is like if American Psycho was actually an actor

[@sofastuffing]

Yeah I'm surprised no one else so far's pointed that out, man's a budget Christian Bale

[@ChoppingWood123]

i was thinking the same thing lol

[@shiannafoxx]

I was literally thinking the same lmao

[@mahekk1556]

omg I was thinking the exact same thing lol

[@thebutlerdidit6357]

moreover, if the story of American Psycho was told from an outside perspective

[@yukaiyami]

“Why did you give her a choice?” “Kidnap her?” “I wasn’t joking” “Abusing my police power, but that’s not crazy!” Oh, neat. I didn’t know this was written by a 14-year old Wattpad writer.

[@chum_the_baroness1504]

It was written by me, sorry i wrote this movie guys 😢😢😢

[@placeholderdoe]

@@chum_the_baroness1504I do not forgive you.

[@afellowpotato]

​@@chum_the_baroness1504I acknowledge, but do not accept your apology

[@arianamaria_]

Stop I’m having war flashbacks 😭🤚

[@fadeuhhway]

The second movie is so creepy with grandma and the whole town pushing her to stay... I wouldn't be surprised if after the credits roll she finds out that the town is one massive cult (with granny being a co leader) and they needed her specifically because of her bloodline, so they can sacrifice her to the turtle god so it'll forever be Christmas. Happy holidays!

[@alligatorsun1854]

Tbh it would make sense why *everyone* wants them to date. Something sinister is going down...

[@dezzibard583]

Read this at like well way too late at night and now I fear cults with Grandmas in charge worshipping a turtle god

[@def_not-luigi]

Feels like a horrur movie plot

[@stvk99]

why turtle?

[@okaysad7990]

I would watch that movie

[@sundance3945]

the way joe stands makes it look like he’s carrying three pounds worth of the decorations for the house up his butt

[@dunno-19]

underrated af comment

[@string-cheese]

LMAO

[@clovisandtheclover]

my favorite comment

[@smittywerbenjagermanjensen8576]

i love the english language

[@faye4426]

he's kinda like an NPC

[@vitoriawithanaccent]

I’m genuinely concerned for the woman who thinks these actors have chemistry

[@youbiscuit2146]

Projection is a hell of a drug

[@idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439]

Same lol

[@sirshrooma]

It's probably grandma williams making bot accounts

[@thicc_astley]

right, what kind of low bar ass relationships has she had if this looks like chemistry??

[@jungtothehuimang]

But she has a cat!

[@fuckgandor]

"this guy has definitely killed someone" he's a cop

[@fuckgandor]

honestly very realistic depiction of a cop in a relationship- abuse of police powers? check. abusive tendencies towards women? check. blaming the women and victims of their abuse of police powers? check

[@therealslimshitty5186]

real

[@shadypixel4478]

Yeah, that still checks

[@romancatholicgameing]

✨❤️✨ *_police brutality_* ✨❤️✨

[@caroline-hh9os]

makes it even more accurate

[@pigeonatic]

Joe Kurak walked up those steps like a god damn Lego man

[@therunawaykid6523]

I’m definitely watching that film on KZbin joe is incredible

[@midnacine]

When they said $12,000 I was full on expecting the toy store that Buddy decorated in Elf, not a couple Dollar Tree ribbons slapped around the kitchen and living room

[@choreomaniac]

I guessed $300-500 and would have demanded my money back after seeing the effort.

[@bellarose4719]

IKR my guess was like $500 and even then I thought it was a little high

[@joywolf83]

Lol I was thinking $3-5,000...... cooking for a lot of people, also adds to the tag

[@KolbPROD]

@@joywolf83 I wad thinking a couple grand if she went all out. For 3 weeks of work there should be an insane amount of decor

[@WillGoslee]

I was thinking he would lowball her and only pay like 50 bucks lol

[@floofgerbit4072]

Great upload, no zooming problems, loved the storyline. 👍

[@VerendumGames]

HERES TO THE ONES THAT WE GOT tiiiime of the year

[@fruitybts]

loved the chemistry

[@unknowable4147]

Great comment! Not a bot, and actually funny. 👍

[@itzme_bale]

The chemistry between these 2 is really amazing! ☺👌🏻👍🏻

[@moongirl8807]

Yes but I wish the owner of this channel would upload other full movies that don't belong to him too. I mean, we don't know each other, but he owes us pirated romcoms in great quality!

[@OwlBard]

Imagine your best friend unironically telling you that you're ' ruining Christmas' just because you don't want to marry some guy you barely know whom you have no chemistry with and have no feelings for. And when the grandma said ' Why did you give her a choice?' These writers should be fired. And then possibly investigated.

[@madeleine61509]

I can't believe Jerma985 got a major role in both of KZbin's greatest Christmas movies. That's so great for him.

[@lirodon]

I definitely enjoyed the part where he went into The Game Room™ and somebody had hijacked his channel to stream Call of Duty Modern Warfare II (2022) instead.

[@alyanashephard1916]

I genuinely cried with laughter at 'So, yeah, I'm out here in the cold, outside my jurisdiction, abusing my police powers'

[@Random-sk6hm]

Yes FBI this is him

[@Kristianalexis1]

I know 😂😂

[@SkyLady37]

fun fact this exact situation has happened to 40% of cops, google 40% cops to learn more!

[@Erez-the-Berez]

Drew’s hair finally reached it’s ultimate (original) form

[@ellifsyaa]

Ultimate Ohio boss

[@nevaeh9125]

Danny had the ultimate hair form: bald.

[@froggy5748]

It’s like a legendary Pokémon’s origin forme lmao

[@Imscaredofeverything]

Yay!

[@Erez-the-Berez]

@@nevaeh9125 true 🙄

[@realafah]

Lady: "the house looks marvelous." Drew: "Uh-hey, you know we can see it too, right? she clearly hung up one thing from Hobby lobby, and called it a day." Well, you haven't seen the game room. I heard she did a great job in that room.

[@officialmonarchmusic]

Best comment

[@MicahLWade]

It's been over a year, and I still can't wait to see it!!

[@waterlillysplaylist3877]

seeing drew say that the actor is like if someone 3d printed a human being after he actually 3d printed little models of his friends makes this video even funnier

[@mlej9919]

Joe looks and feels like he was one of the mannequins from that other Christmas movie and he murdered everyone and escaped

[@monica-ke1dk]

oh my god i was scrolling looking for this 💀

[@blending_in]

Istg

[@SpellCorrectly]

he sounds like the titular cat from "The Talking Cat."

[@ginandromeda1618]

He reminds me of the guy from American Psycho

[@yodude8686]

oh my god lmao

[@itzmomo9]

Joe is like Homelander and John Cena were mixed together and processed through AI to act like a human.

[@cozycasasmr4510]

With a splash of American psycho

[@Yourdailydoseofsarcasm]

for some reason i thought you were talking about Drew 💀

[@steele1908]

@@cozycasasmr4510 he looks like a low budget patrick bateman

[@cynicalperson161]

Heavy on the Homelander part especially when he smiles

[@eriklaroi8]

His Jim Carrey started to creep out at the end

[@agent57]

I love that he apparently inherited this new construction house from his grandpa? Complete with modern fixtures and finishes? But also a lifetime of memories I guess???

[@erinw.9256]

Grandma Williams revealing that she's possibly a serial killer and then Matthew admitting that he's abusing his power as an officer in the next 2 seconds absolutely sent me

[@DC_let_the_Waynes_be_happy]

I need a hallmark movie where the story is treated as the horror plot that it really is

[@ninamarie177]

Leaving a job at the New York Times to marry a cop in a small town after knowing him for a week is peak conservative propaganda and sounds like an actual nightmare.

[@hysteriamv]

I’m sure this is a joke but if you’re actually interested in that sort of thing, you should watch Anything For Jackson (2020). Justin G. Dyck, the director, had only done Hallmark movies up until that point 😂

[@Zomz.graveyard]

Sorry off topic but your name is so real they should🙏🏾

[@SuzER08]

the first 40 minutes plays out exactly like a regular hallmark christmas movie. flash forward, main white couple has gotten married and the main character slowly realizes that she gave up her entire identity and ended up stuck in her home town with a man she barely knows, and that the infatuation is wearing off. everyone in the movie is gasligthing her into thinking that this is the "perfect life", but inside shes miserable. there's no escaping smalltownsbergville.

[@sophiagoodman-merel7453]

Omg I have the plot: _Tough workaholic businesswoman from the city goes back to her hometown for the holidays where everyone is more than thrilled to see her. Everything seems absolutely perfect as they prepare for a special holiday tradition the mayor has decided to bring back from the town's founding and our protagonist is encouraged to be the queen of the festivities and a handsome local bakery owner has caught her eye. But the warm greeting turns cold when she finds herself unable to leave the cozy little town._

[@SapphicSnow]

I was freaking out for a moment because I actually guessed $12 for how much he was going to pay her to decorate everything lol.

[@Shadow789798]

I am now convinced I watched this in a past life

[@abbylarkspur]

I was definitely sure it was going to be way too little as opposed to too much

[@SealStepMusic]

I genuinely was like 12 HUNDRED at MAX. And he said twelve and I was like okay fair. Then he said THOUSAND and I almost threw my phone at my mirror.

[@mettatonex7221]

iCarly moment.

[@introvertedinfp]

Same lol

[@vizzy5764]

I couldn't figure out why the main love interest felt so familiar to me despite never having seen him before. And then I realised that his "attempting a charming and friendly demeanor but with absolutely zero warmth behind it" vibe and Made Of Plastic looks is EXACTLY the same energy as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. When I realised this, I had to go take a couple laps around my house, holy shit. That 2nd movie is absolutely a thinly veiled Hereditary-esque plot where they needed a blood sacrifice from outside the town to appease Krampus or whatever

[@theflickchick9850]

My jaw DROPPED when Grandma Williams suggested that the robot police man should kidnap Kathy. No WONDER he went outside his jurisdiction! His grandma is manipulating him and now HE has to manipulate Kathy! It's what he was designed to do!

[@vintimajethia7577]

he was coded by the grandma herself. he is a top-secret experimental robot being used to see if these machines replace actual humans!!

[@LunarRocketeer]

so glad Drew made KZbin so we can have all these quality movies uploaded for free

[@brkh96]

Drew is the only youtuber tho

[@luismarioguerrerosanchez4747]

He acts as if he didn't upload all those Christmas movies himself

[@2fortsmostwanted]

This is his blatant self-advertising

[@plusmin09]

That cop could much more easily move to NYC and get another job as a cop in comparison to her getting a high paying writing position in some stock small town

[@firefly2647]

But what if GRANDMA didn't want to move too??? She's very. . . invested in his life

[@familyminahan3343]

Grandma definitely killed his last girlfriend

[@nullskey8370]

nobody leaves grandma

[@elvenlegion3276]

@@nullskey8370 no one

[@breadbin4833]

you underestimate the power of grandma tho

[@AnticWaspGin]

You forgot to tilt the image at 20:54. Rookie mistake.

[@maddieb.4282]

If a friend told me she quit her job and was getting married to a POLICE OFFICER she met a week ago?? I’d be calling her mom and driving straight to her because those are such scary red flags that I would immediately think she was being love bombed for future abuse

[@colleebclarb]

“i only exist within the prism of your love life” was such a beautiful line

[@OnyDeus]

Oooh, prism? I heard prison!

[@acecremeans1808]

@@OnyDeus dude u literally read the comment how did u miss hear it

[@hannatodd2099]

@Ace Cremeans

[@lemonywater2979]

What does that even mean though I'm so confused

[@emmyemerson]

@@acecremeans1808 they misheard it in the video first and then read the comments obv

[@maggieledezma6218]

best friend trying to talk her INTO the guy is so wrong. we talk them OUT of a guy

[@jennifer__e]

7:20 aww-dience

[@thomascorin7816]

Aww damn, that was clever.

[@cshoorr511]

@@thomascorin7816awws clever

[@voicedbilabialtrill2514]

I've heard of the creepy uncle trope but a sleazy grandma is a first. Very girlboss of the movie to subvert our expectations like that ✨

[@malusim6089]

An underated comment!!

[@finnanut1098]

Yeah thank god we're finally getting more representation for female perverts

[@simonferocious]

There should be more shady grandma's in movies when she suggested that guy kidnap that woman out of nowhere I laughed so hard

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

wasn't that lady the disco granny from the Studio 54 movie? I was just pleased to see she's still going....

[@Unemportant]

Joe kurak feels like he's accidentally playing a goofy Jim Carrey character or like when a dog becomes a human in a movie but he's clearly cast as the generic hallmark man.

[@kiwi9445]

he has Jerma energy

[@ashikjaman1940]

@@kiwi9445 collab when?

[@fricka4798]

american psycho ass guy

[@justaloserrr]

​@@kiwi9445 yes!! I am happy someone else saw the weird resemblance

[@v.xien.]

Poor joe 💀 I’d be so embarrassed of the shit I was on

[@jaash7981]

Joe Kurak acts exactly like one of Drew's sketches down to his facial expressions, except it's unironic and in a movie with a production.

[@KeshiaMonet]

Glad to see Drew is still is as obsessed with Christmas Mail as I am

[@AwesomeSuaceable]

This is an instant classic! no zoom or sound issues! I'm gonna watch this vid every year! The chemistry between Drew and the microphone is heartmelting

[@nazaninsoltanpour6254]

God😭🤣🤣

[@calowenby1654]

Drew’s shirt made for a great third member of the romantic triangle, but I’m happy Drew ultimately got together with the mic.

[@BOBXxXx1]

Im ur 1k comment

[@bi_phrog]

Um I'm pretty sure that's danny

[@justasmltwngir1732]

This one deserves to be the pinned comment

[@echotrapta]

fun fact: my dad wanted to show me a hallmark movie (because i make fun of them all the time), and somehow he found christmas at the holly hotel and halfway through he was so dumbfounded by the shitty acting that he just turned it off and apologized to me

[@necromasker666]

At least your dad has awareness. My dad thought that the movie After earth was good

[@evangelinewood3325]

​@@necromasker666my dad's favorite movie is Downsizing. That one extremely forgettable movie where Matt Damon gets shrunk

[@heckingbamboozled8097]

@@necromasker666 What?! M Night Shyamalan's greatest film?? It makes Sixth Sense look bad

[@hello_bye708]

3:27 I SPIT MY WINE. Literally this is how my parents met and fell in love, no joke. My dad was forced to host a big Easter party for tons of people and hired my mom to cater the whole thing and fell in love with her. But other than that, that's where the similarities with the movie end. XD

[@tinyblueunicorn7807]

But how much did he pay her? 🤔

[@All6pistols]

@@tinyblueunicorn7807 probably 12k

[@MyAltdraco]

I love Drew's movie reviews so much! Like, if the average person watched these-ok, the average person would never watch these-but if they did, they would just say it's horrible, the plot is ridiculous, the acting sucks. But Drew actually has the strong stomach to watch this seriously enough to pinpoint the exact reasons why it's horrible and what it is about the acting that sucks, and his breakdown is so spot on and hilarious. I normally wouldn't care to watch a breakdown of something so bad that I know I'll never watch, but Drew makes it so entertaining, I will watch every single video he makes. Oh and can we address the shocking double take that happens when suddenly a recognizable actor pops up in one of these? Sure, they aren't A-list actors, but they are recognizable enough to make me wonder what in the hell they are doing in a KZbin movie! Getting that paycheck...yes, I know, but still.

[@thedanespeaks]

Picardo!

[@coldmcdonaldsfry]

my theory with joe’s pants is that they got brighter during the tour because he became happier talking about his lovely home

[@christmastiger]

This needs more thumbs up

[@randl7423]

Yes, and those aren't his pants; they're his nanotech-imbedded skin 👽😍

[@I_Have_The_Most_Japanese_Music]

Plausible; I'll look into it.

[@ce_982]

that happens to me sometimes

[@carameldumpling]

that's actually adorable

[@gingerdog8203]

Imagine though, a hallmark type christmas movie that seems generic but halfway through turns into a woman trying to escape from a family that's genuinely trying to kidnap her, maybe for her money, or maybe just because they are crazy. Even a generic name like "Happy Holidays"

[@kraken_the_cowboy]

i feel like the title for a movie like that would definitely be something really bizarre yet totally stupid like "helpless for the holidays" or "a hostage for the holidays" im wondering what the movie's advertising would be like though

[@quackkith]

guys kurtis conner made a youtube video about a christmas movie where a crazy lady kidnaps a man to take as her boyfriend at her family’s christmass party 😭😭😭 its called holiday in handcuffs 😕😕

[@seigeengine]

@@quackkith Maybe, but Kurtis Conner is an unfunny PoS.

[@bobnewton1064]

@@kraken_the_cowboy advertise it as a children friendly movie then halfway through the grandma kills the leads boyfriend with a battle axe. Then it goes from there.

[@lizard3755]

Sounds like Christmas version of Get Out

[@renee8591]

There's something so special about finding a romcom where you can't help but verbally scream no at the screen when they start to propose after knowing each other for a chemistryless week

[@jewelsjelico9567]

I love knowing that Joe actually watched this and also found it hilarious!

[@zayrickx]

HE DID???

[@zayrickx]

@@jewelsjelico9567 i can’t find it !!! maybe he took it down ?

[@officialmonarchmusic]

I don't use Instagram. What did he say? I badly want to know

[@therunawaykid6523]

He reminds me of crispin glover mixed with that Greg guy from the room

[@grandlordSpencer]

Maybe the real terrible Christmas movie was the friend we made along the way

[@ellifsyaa]

Chris Gooden

[@fatsanii]

the way i cackled too much at this

[@joshevans3421]

Desperate times mean "friends" have been reduced to "friend"

[@LukewarmAnimations]

The one friend

[@corgistaniel1150]

That's not a friend Spencer, it's a tree

[@hemasreya]

Drew is addicted to Christmas movies whereas everyone else is addicted to drugs

[@littlestpope]

Aw man is everyone else doing that,

[@Tw0Dots]

Jokes on you, I dig both. Nothing like snorting some white on a white Christmas… (Not really drugs are bad :( booo)

[@johanneskaiser6959]

Drews parents would propably like it more if he said hes addicted to doing crack than watching this amount of hallmark

[@cloudstrife4534]

Can I trade addictions with him?

[@samlikesfrogs]

*everyone* else???

[@ohno4930]

5:59 losing my fucking mind i thought he said "Some of my best family members were made here" for a moment

[@rangalover6936]

The house decoration movie was definitely written for like a giant vintage christmassy family heirloom mansion but all they had was a decently big suburban house that looks like it was built in 2010

[@namename9194]

Drew uploads a video and then just sits there, face 2 inches max from the screen, drool pooling in his keyboard, until someone posts a funny comment for him to pin

[@drewisgooden]

get out of my house

[@ellifsyaa]

@@drewisgooden too late we are living in your walls

[@queertherapy4919]

@@amansson2151did you mean attic???

[@peanut-gu2zk]

@@drewisgooden all of us are in your closet :))

[@Thatonepersonwhoexists]

@@drewisgoodenall 3.88M of us are in your house.

[@Max-bw2xk]

joe kurak feels like homelander being forced to be in a hallmark movie in a spoof episode of the boys

[@muskaan3711]

Omg yes you're correct

[@blending_in]

Also he kinda looks like John Cena?? Or is it just me

[@fyanfyererro6990]

@@blending_in Honestly, yeah. And also William Dafoe & Jim Carrey

[@blending_in]

@@fyanfyererro6990 💀

[@hex0578]

This is the funniest comment I've ever seen how did you hit the nail on the head so hard

[@lazybones7326]

7:15 MY LEG!

[@oliviathewannabedoctor6174]

17:43 crazy? I was crazy once.

[@alt-lemon]

they put me in a room a rubber room a rubber room with rats

[@eddykidplayzyt]

Rats make me crazy. Crazy?

[@TheRolekeeper]

​@@eddykidplayzyt I was crazy once.

[@kayla.maynor]

someone please pay drew $6,000 to decorate their house for christmas next year

[@clamwok]

I mean, party planning, cooking for 15, and decorating. That's honestly about what that would cost.

[@Ollig999]

My guess was $15,000 but I assumed it was a big house and the decoration was better

[@demo2823]

Drew can pay me $6,000 to decorate my house for Christmas next year.

[@paigef3634]

Hallmark movies are every old ladies favorite. My grandma has the channel on 24/7 and even when we point out they’re all the same story, she’s says it’s fine because they’re all happy lol

[@westernhemlock]

That’s actually really sweet. Guess the Hallmark channel wasn’t a total mistake if it’s providing feel-good content for grannies

[@ZX3000GT1]

I mean considering how long she has lived, experienced a lot of things over the course of her life, I think that's a fair reason. Lovely even.

[@sweetcreature2475]

My grandma always watches the Hallmark channel too. Kinda wholesome in a way

[@charmacden]

this is so lovely :(

[@kiharii]

That’s what my mom says too! She likes that she knows it’ll always be a happy ending :))! I used to think they were dumb because they’re all the same but I realize now it doesn’t matter if I don’t understand it because it makes her happy and she enjoys it!

[@MrZebeda]

That guy is unintentionally the most perfect B-movie Patrick Bateman ever.

[@lukjad007]

My guess was $5000. $500 for her time. $1 for her skill. $4,499 for having to put up with him and his family.

[@ustheduo]

the strategy of playing a song on top of another song is painfully funny 😆

[@lilyruiz2222]

OMG WHAT I loveeee your music!! This is so weird

[@accidentalfan444]

@@lilyruiz2222 I just had the weirdest flash back to 2013 and being obsessed with these guys and now here they are in the comments of a drew golden video omg

[@nothingnowhere2358]

You guys watch Drew Gooden?!? Based af

[@romancatholicgameing]

"You know what? Instead of getting copyright striked just once, let's do it twice by playing two copyrighted songs over each other!" -the people who made that movie, probably

[@jakeybby8527]

@@romancatholicgameinglet them fight over who gets the money

[@Txmtm347]

Sometimes parents just think everyone is an eligible partner when you're not in a relationship by like 25. My mum was saying that I should get the number of a random guy that walked past us because he 'seems nice'. He didn't even say a word to us and I'm a lesbian

[@jmunrecognized8167]

That straight up sounds like the beginning of one of these trashy Christmas romance films, to be honest

[@caroline-hh9os]

so real

[@sgfuckinghuntress]

​@@jmunrecognized8167 i would love to see it. the film spends most of the time trying to build up the biggest romance of the century, only for op at the end to be like "mom, i'm a lesbian."

[@tinyblueunicorn7807]

Haha this is literally the plot of the sitcom Miranda with her mum. There's one scene where she's standing in public with her with a loudspeaker and a "Bride for Sale" sign. "Would somebody please marry my daughter? I'm not asking for money, I am literally giving her away!" 😭

[@sourlemonade7916]

Joe delivers lines like he’s an npc giving randomly generated dialogue

[@_TracerBullet]

18:53 Weirdly perfect Eric Forman impression outta nowhere.

[@italktoomuch5885]

Him mansplaning his house is the most realistic thing about this movie

[@whishiwhooshi5783]

Homeboy over here really said "mansplaing" unironically. We truly are in the darkest timeline.

[@beefy74]

@@whishiwhooshi5783do you …. know what a joke is

[@slaughterdog_]

@@whishiwhooshi5783 grow up

[@greenthinggg]

@@whishiwhooshi5783 oh no

[@pants4736]

@@whishiwhooshi5783 you when someone says a joke 😨😨😨😨😨

[@peachxcube]

So nice to see jerma getting some acting work

[@Loreboar0]

I’m afraid not, it’s just another escaped clone. Maybe someday he’ll see sunlight for the first time

[@peachxcube]

@@Loreboar0 haha it was a joke :) I know jerma isn't real

[@ginandromeda1618]

Who's Jerma? Am I missing a reference from the Drewniverse?

[@bonnierite]

Jerma is a twitch streamer

[@diarenee9012]

@@ginandromeda1618 he's a serial killer

[@Changing_Subjects]

One of my faves. Drew is one of the funniest guys on the internet. His intelligent and dry commentary are just the dopamine boost I need in this capitalist hellscape, lol.

[@joshlarson1252]

Truly disappointed that Drew neglected to mention the UNHINGED scene in Deck The Heart in which Mary almost freezes to death because she couldn’t get into the house while Chris was gone so she just LAYS DOWN TO SLEEP IN THE SNOW

[@thenintendokid497]

God, Amanda needs to get a new assistant. He never gets her videos up on time.

[@gameb9oy]

Can’t replace the guy she has now, practically married to him

[@torpedex4600]

I really want drew to write for snl but I know for a fact he won't be able to produce the scripts on time

[@reputaytion]

a product of him being on snl would include him and andrew dismukes playing twins at some point

[@kaemincha]

this is the best compliment + insult combo i have ever heard and it is so accurate

[@andrewdunn8778]

I forget who said it, maybe Gus Johnson, that there was a time where you would have an internet career (minor league) to work towards the "big time"; a TV career (major league). But he said he thought that had changed with social media and smartphones. Now, would Drew Gooden becoming an SNL writer be better for him than what he's doing now?

[@justrandomotaku]

@Andrew Dunn absolutely not. SNL sucks ass these days and comedy youtubers (not the clickbaity ones) are literally funnier than them lol

[@andrewdunn8778]

@@justrandomotaku it's funny that you say that, cuz Drew actually had a video on why SNL has always been roughly the same level of humor, and some earlier stuff was actually terrible. My point wasn't that it was *bad*, it was just that it was way less relevant.

[@spycenrice8108]

There hasn’t been a video on hallmark movies very recently, but I just wanted to say that your videos on bad Christmas movies bring me back to when I would sit with my grandma watching them and we’d sit and laugh at them. She died from cancer a little over a year ago and remembering how good it was to watch those and laugh at the absurdity is honestly a blessing. It’s amazing the kind of little things we forget.

[@domeatown]

I also like Joe. He looks as awkward as I feel in social spaces. There's something really friendly and comfortable about that tbh. Just frozen and waddling like idk how to move my feet because too many people looked at me. That kindly weirdo presence is honestly the only thing that makes his awful writing less psychopathic because of anyone else said it, that would be a horror movie

[@jill5627]

every time the main guy is on screen the only thing I can think about is if a Patrick Bateman knock-off starred in a low budget Christmas movie

[@chloepurkrabek4232]

I was searching the comment section for this lmfaoo

[@inrodu_1027]

oh my god i thought i was the only one, his human behaviour does not help it

[@antoinette365]

Holy shit, someone else noticed too!! Right down to the haircut!!

[@barryallen2240]

Why do you have to do drew like that?

[@em2105]

he literally is an uncanny valley christian bale

[@punkrckr6889]

I love that this is supposed to be a big, fancy house with all these wholesome family memories baked into its walls but it looks like they just brought some cameras into a display home and filmed there until they got caught and kicked out

[@whyamidoingthis5236]

Have you heard of IKEA Heights? That's literally that

[@tomqrchives]

thats what i was thinking while watching this. if it’s a house that’s been passed down for generations in this family, it’s probably not gonna gave pristine white modern furniture and stuff yk?

[@hedgehog3180]

@@tomqrchives My family has passed down this McMansion for generations because they all got run over at the ripe old age of 20.

[@zpozoy4242]

15:51 i cant get over how wrong those air qutoes look for some reason like why do they look so not human its really confusing i cant even replicate it

[@whatever9097]

I just watched Christmas at the Holly Hotel and I cannot express how disappointed I am that Drew didn’t mention the *actual fucking ghosts* in it. Or how the ghost insinuate that they orchestrated the entire movie including getting Kathy to come home and why they feel so strongly so quickly. It’s implied they are the ones they actually organized the horse drawn carriage. The man ghost has a straight up conversation with the dad.

[@PazzoLucas]

Joe looks like Legal Eagle and John Cena decided to merge into one super lawyer muscle man

[@jakefagundes2619]

oh my god that’s amazing

[@fancyultrafresh3264]

Thank you, I came here to declare this.

[@devi---]

i love this comment, you're so right LOL

[@mistereggway9141]

but without muscles

[@indiemacabre9777]

That scene with the grandma telling him around 16:58 has the potential to be a legit terrifying horror film premise. Like if they wanted to switch genres at that scene it would have been a perfect transition.

[@RxYouth]

A lot of these types of movies are great set ups for horror/thriller movies. I think there's some great potential in starting a new genre of hallmark-esque movies turned sinister. Play it completely straight and formulaic up until a certain point then completely flip the movie on its head, changing the look and acting and cinematography. Then you could even have some of them turn back again and somehow still end up with a cheesy cliche happy ending.

[@alexf225]

Oh shit this is actually a brilliant idea for a horror movie.

[@alexf225]

@@RxYouth I think someone at some point will try to do something like this.

[@crimsonstrykr]

The way that grandma was talking reminded me of Tywin Lannister

[@endmyexistence5223]

im on like my third watch and this is the first time i noticed bim bim on the couch at 20:58 🥺

[@Styxintheriver]

NO THEY GOT THE DOCTOR FROM VOYAGER IN THESE

[@kaylanotkyla]

it’s not christmas if i don’t hear “i don’t have feelings for christy north” 🤌🏽

[@ciphergacha9100]

It’s not Christmas, it’s New Year’s Eve

[@mh2120]

@@ciphergacha9100 Hey, it's Christmo'clock somewhere 🍻

[@ciphergacha9100]

@@mh2120 it physically couldn’t be

[@elzbthcho]

we tweeted ours

[@ciphergacha9100]

@@rashes2286 get back into the hallmark movie from whence you came

[@mrcheesemunch]

Jesus, it's no wonder most marriages fail when people get fed shit like this and think it's just some fun romantic thing and that you don't need to actually build up a connection with each other.

[@cinderellaskeleton6720]

Actually divorce rates have been steadily declining in recent years

[@indigo8036]

@@cinderellaskeleton6720 lack of divorce does not mean more happy marriages tho. People who take advice from fake Hallmark movies probably also think divorce means your life is over and you've failed. Otherwise, they would definitely understand that it's important that you have a genuine connection with your romantic partner before agreeing (or even considering) to marry them. /gen

[@fadeuhhway]

@@indigo8036 agreed, or their culture/religion/family/etc would exile them or at the very least, cut them off/resent them or even most likely gaslight them into thinking it's their fault and that they're broken/etc

[@fadeuhhway]

@@FauxReal. while I DO think that society and media like this give people false impressions and hold unrealistic standards , I do have to ask, Who hurt you?

[@mx.menacing]

@@fadeuhhway Society.

[@thecoldhardtruth1390]

was the budget of the film the same one as the budget of the decorating of the house?

[@audreyadara691]

Started falling asleep but was woken up to EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION at 15:26

[@liambryant3529]

Drew needs to make a Christmas movie with all his friends for next year

[@anyyany]

I would pay to watch it. Full feature length film, inspired by all the terrible movies he’s reviewed.

[@daddypigdrawingtutorialsan2553]

Danny's Christmas music is the only music in the movie

[@joeytheghost4211]

But release it after Christmas

[@liudmilagyu]

And obviously to release it at least a week after Christmas

[@calowenby1654]

“Oh come ONNN!!!” “You can kiss her later.” “ _WHEN??!!!_ _WHEN IS THAT?!!!_ “ I have been dying at this exchange for four whole days now.

[@alizardinyourroom1361]

It's so jerma

[@Kristianalexis1]

It’s amazing 😂

[@totallysalinger]

The thing that caught my eye and has bugged me since is the fact the booth wasn't pushed up against the wall at 13:35

[@Imaproshaman7]

That 2nd movie would've made such a good thriller honestly. It's already so disturbing. D: This was such a great video as always.

[@Kristianalexis1]

That’s what I’m saying. I would’ve been into that

[@dsdots]

55:59 lovely how both Drews held the doors

[@ellifsyaa]

69:42:00! Great upload, no zooming problems!

[@Tw0Dots]

And they say chivalry is dead! Self love sure isn’t, pal

[@ellifsyaa]

@@Tw0Dots LMAOO ur replies have been killing me😂

[@amansson2151]

20:33 the perfect saw trap

[@alejandrobernard3828]

34:54 this was my favorite part!😊

[@SwedePotato314]

The “he’s like if John Hamm and a dog had a baby” line hit me so hard I had to pull over. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t drive while I was just listening to this lmao

[@zajacattack]

Just narrowly avoiding a reckless driving ticket from Officer Matthew. Nice

[@pioxia777]

LMAO

[@blending_in]

@@zajacattack 💀

[@drewisgooden]

hopefully the cop who pulled you over for reckless driving didn't propose to you 5 days later

[@Alifraipye]

@@drewisgoodenmake sure your grandma doesn’t get them first

[@Changing_Subjects]

My favorite xmas tradition is watching Drew's videos about bad xmas movies. I confess, I'm a bit of a scrooge, but Drew's takes on these godawful movies warm my icy, anti-xmas, anti-consumerist heart. 🥰

[@carmensmith5437]

Excuse me, did no one else notice Grandma Williams eye twitch at 16:57? I'm freaking out over here