How parents portray all kidnappings

[@morielrorschach8090]

See, all you have to do is say "no." Kidnappers are not legally allowed to harm you in any way if you just decline their offer.

[@voidfroze]

Best comment 😭

[@deadlypandaghost]

Alright kids. Here's what you need to know about kidnapping. Puts on Sabaton "Resist and bite"

[@caringegg759]

yeah but they're also not legally allowed to kidnap you so why would that stop them edit: some people do not know how to use a woosh but ok

[@jessg3416]

Your runining the joke@@caringegg759

[@CathoDice]

@@caringegg759 r/wooooosh

[@sleepy_koko]

Gotta appreciate the kid continuing to let them try

[@VoidZeroNothing]

I wish the kids I kidnap were that nice...

[@josiahgames2134]

respect

[@DragonstoneWolfe]

Kid just followed cause the man had his homework. 😂

[@San-lh8us]

try what? they just wanted to give him a ride home

[@_cablewastaken]

sameee@@VoidZeroNothing

[@Wawagirl17]

Yeah, I also remember my mom always teaching me as a child that kidnappers would be absolutely ZERO help with my math homework.

[@darkreunion1267]

😂

[@TopLaHats]

What?!?! How am I supposed to pass pre-calc if my Mom's friends just shove me in a room with my hands all tied up. Man, people these days, rude

[@coisasaqui]

is that fr? lmfao

[@coisasaqui]

what was the context?

[@iamcurious9541]

​@@coisasaqui Zach Star makes math content

[@eternalcanadiandevyt]

Those kidnappers were actually pretty polite.

[@brodiebuckingham2846]

They're Canadian kidnappers

[@maxwellquipey1]

@@brodiebuckingham2846 was just about to comment this 💀💀💀

[@Alec0124]

@@brodiebuckingham2846 Minnesota nice

[@segnos]

yea i wish my kidnappers would have been like them

[@it2spooky4me79]

​@@segnoshey at least you get shelter, hopefully free food too.

[@ne2ko714]

And the lesson is teachers shouldn't give homework anymore, it makes kids susceptible to kidnapping

[@pricklypear7516]

Pfft, you rube. Don't you know that teachers are IN on it for a cut of the ransom?

[@You_Ate_My_Soap]

Just go to Finland than, depression rates drops to 0.1% (That 0.1% goes to taxes)

[@OZMus]

There's an island in Canada that barely provides schooling let alone homework apparently

[@alimbis]

⁠@@OZMusim sure there's many islands in canada without a single school

[@thesockstealingdemon]

@@You_Ate_My_Soapfinland is like 12th place with highest suicide rating

[@kami8548]

I love how the sequels come before the prequels, it's so entertaining

[@maverickmissile801]

Ikr

[@colincheshire6366]

That’s kinda how prequels work

[@crabbyboi9127]

you should watch star wars then lol

[@starkillersneed]

@@crabbyboi9127 It's like poetry, it rhymes

[@thesong7877]

Which means they're not sequels. The first thing just exists, it's not a sequel or a prequel. Then the follow up is one or the other, depending.

[@shizuki3354]

At this point I think Zach just accidentally uploads his videos in the wrong order and we all think that he's doing it on purpose and giving him credit for it.

[@Dkgow]

No telling with Zach anymore

[@mukkah]

Such a genius, inspiring really! To put the videos, in the wrong order, then have us viewership plebs praise him for the baller move... and it was aalllll on accident.... Love it! ^^

[@thehalfmoonmirrorsvenus1234]

I mean... It's not entirely implausible. I do that a lot with my dyslexia (people assume I'm being witty, and I just let them).

[@theoverseer1775]

*_Pulls gun on kid_* What's a gun? *_Explains gun to a kid_* What's a death? *_Explains life and death to kid_* *_Gives himself existential crisis_* *_Gives up cus nothing matters and we'll die anyway_*

[@JabamiLain]

No, no, better yet. He puts the gun on his mouth and shoots.

[@antonionnam6594]

Geez bruh

[@Alec0124]

Explaining life and death equals existential crisis? I'd tell this guy "if you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything... so choose something already"

[@Solutra]

@@JabamiLain on his mouth, not in.

[@NotAraliaceae]

@@Alec0124your comment just reminded me of the quote from Hamilton ”If you stand for nothing Burr what will you fall for?”

[@okitasoujialter]

The most unrealistic part of the skit was how cheap that McDonald's was

[@glory8065]

haha

[@rachelmcdonough1506]

It’s a period piece!

[@Frostfern94]

I was thinking that. Like damn that’s a great deal

[@Indivion87]

Naw it was those fancy headphones instead of the shitty headsets they give us

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

I wish I had a supportive hype man like that kidnapper

[@idk-ill-figure-smn-out]

Tbh, those are just my two braincells on a good day

[@BeautyXTwisted]

A stranger actually tried to pick me up from my elementary school saying he was a friend of my parents and he was there to pick me up for them. I had such a bad feeling I politely declined and went inside and told the staff. They immediately notified my family and who said they never sent that guy to pick me up. The staff kept me in the office and walked me out when my actual ride came. The stranger was long gone. :x I was never warned about these things but I felt something was very off. I’m glad I didn’t get into the car with that man.

[@wafflfries4163]

You were never warned?! I thought all parents drilled this stuff into kids. They’re lucky you’re smart 👍

[@plantinapot9169]

Will add for anyone who looks in the replies- stranger kidnapping is a lot rarer than it being someone you know

[@plantinapot9169]

Well- except maybe Mexico, heard kidnap ransom is a more common crime there

[@isitsweet9567]

When I was fourteen and waiting for a traffic light while on my daily walk, a stranger got off of a bus, called out to me and approached while casually tucking a large roll of money into his pocket. He proceeded to try to get me to take his hand, and when I stepped back in fear (he was smiling sweetly but I could see something else in his eyes) he got in my face and tried to corner me against a signpost. Luckily the light changed at that moment so I went around him and crossed the street at a brisk walk. He didn't follow me, although he called out more sharply and then I heard him muttering something, probably a curse, to himself. As soon as I was out of his line of sight, I ran. I have an ingrained distrust in humanity and I had that bad feeling that you describe. But we're taught to default to trust, and I've met many a normal adult who isn't even aware that we have one of the highest crime rates in the US, and I can imagine that a young child, or someone with low situational awareness due to autism or something like that, might not have had that feeling.

[@mikelopez6928]

@@wafflfries4163 alot of parents think one talk when little is enough . a lot are actually incompetent when it comes to understanding children, even with experience.

[@WWZenaDo]

You absolutely nailed the kid facial expression of "You've got to be kidding me. Do these freaking idiot adults think I'm going anywhere with them?"

[@scientic]

Impressive that the fraction question was 1/3 + 2/7, and the kidnappers added across but the kid solved it properly. Nice detail!

[@jatloe]

I was about to comment this lol

[@fredfredburger5150]

I learned how to do that in school but I've forgotten since 😢

[@a_d3mon]

@fredfredburger5150 you have to find a common denominator when adding/subtracting fractions (in this case, it would be 21) and then multiply the numerator by what you needed (so 1/3 becomes 7/21 and 2/7 becomes 6/21) When multiplying you multiply straight across (2×1 and 7×3) and dividing you have to cross multiply first (2x3 and 7x1) THEN divide to get 6/7

[@tymondabrowski12]

​@@fredfredburger5150Just take it on logic. You have two cakes, cut one in 7 pieces and the other in 3. Take some pieces and try to figure out what proportion of a whole cake you've got. It would obviously be easy if they were both cut into same amount of pieces: 7 and 7, then one pieces and two pieces give three pieces, out of 7. But they're not. But you're the one with a knife. If you cut every piece of the first cake into three pieces and then every piece of the second cake into seven pieces, suddenly you have two cakes cut into the same amount of pieces (3*7 or 7*3, which is 21). Now you only need to think how many pieces you take. In the first case, 1/7, you were meant to take one big piece, and since you cut them into threes, now of course you take three small pieces. Meaning you take 3/21. The same with the other cake, representing 2/3. You were meant to take two big pieces, but you cut each of them into 7 pieces, so you need to take 14 pieces to get the same amount of cake. So you get 17/21. (I just realised I counted 1/7 + 2/3 instead of 2/7 + 1/3. I would change it but I might mess it up and you'd get confused. The same logic applies in both cases. You can try 2/7 + 1/3 now and see if you get 13/21.).

[@9nikola]

@@tymondabrowski12 Alternatively, since they hold the knife, they can just threaten you to do the maths for them.

[@Modie]

The rare but always impressive "It was all a prequel" twist.

[@Hugonche29]

I actually laughed at the "listen very carefully" followed by a mcDonald's order. Great running gag.

[@NaudVanDalen]

He's uploading in reverse chronological order so we have to watch the older videos again to get the full experience. He's a genius.

[@McTuber42]

double your views with this one simple trick

[@Name-ru1kt]

Or… he simply fucked up the release times on them. You know thats another option

[@daviddow3705]

@@Name-ru1kt No.

[@privatefellow6589]

​@@daviddow3705yes

[@whatismylife6046]

The lore goes deep in the Zach Star multiverse

[@Berserker3624]

This is completely random but after seeing this comment all I think about is the lore lodgers making a video on these kidnappers

[@프레디khjfreddy]

“Listen very carefully” is quickly becoming my favorite catch phrase

[@Michael-vf2mw]

Zach really does have a unique obsession with kidnapping, doesn't he?

[@wrathofainz]

The sudden switch to a ransom phone call vibe in the McDonald's drive thru killed me 💀 And the kidnappers hyping each other up 😂

[@TheLobsterCopter5000]

It's subtle, but the way Zach responds actually kinda sounds like how a child talks.

[@antonionnam6594]

Zach being a kidnapping enthusiast for 5 minutes straight😂

[@briankelly1240]

The fraction bit us so true 'sounds right, but feels wrong'

[@colincheshire6366]

I love how the kid is the same height in the frame, but they still crouch down

[@ProphecyGaming.]

parents describing kidnappings: dammit... he said no to candy, guess i cant kidnapp him... actual kidnappings: I have a f*cking gun.

[@WEBPMAFIAONYOUTUBE]

Kidnappers do be like pokemon crews sometimes

[@LivvyBooks]

I'm sure McDonalds workers have heard far too many adults scream at kids in the drive thru.

[@Ricocossa1]

I love how you can reverse-engineer the fraction problem at 3:05. My guess is it was to add 2/7 + 1/3. The answer is 13/21, but if you just add up the numerators and denominators, you'd get 3/10.

[@clarkstone439]

omg, im not the only one!

[@PotassiumLover33]

yooo that's what I thought too

[@pinkpink8896]

My education as a child was basically this : if a stranger ever tries to talk to you, it means the stranger is a kidnapper

[@magnus1383]

I remember there was a choose your own adventure game with a black background and one of the questions involved a suspicious guy in a car at the playground addressing you. If you chose to just tell him your mom told you not to talk to strangers rather than run home, he would run out the car and kidnap you and you'd be found months later after some dark shit. This short unlocked that memory for me.

[@KingcoleIIV]

The only one that was missing was the "hey kid I lost my puppy" "can you come help me look for it "

[@FourthRoot]

I like that he gives you just enough clues to figure out what problem #7 must be.

[@jamespatton42]

2/7 + 1/3

[@FourthRoot]

@jamespatton42 Don't ruin it. Delete this please.

[@marcberm]

These prequels that reveal everything get me every time! 😀

[@anthonysmith6413]

When I was younger I actually had elders approach me exactly the way our parents describe it. Including "Candy", "we know your mom", "just around the Corner" etc. They couldn't fool me though. I can smell Candy miles away. They definetly had non!

[@Thedarkbunnyrabbit]

I had someone approach me claiming to be a friend of the neighbor, and my father had some people drive up to him and claim his mother sent them and she'd be angry if he didn't get in the car. It's crazy to think this is how kidnappers work, but they really do.

[@florinivan6907]

Actual kidnappings are very rare compared to the moral panic that resulted from them.Most are actually the other parent trying to take their kid after a divorce. But since most parents couldn't admit that maybe they were the problem all along(98% of the time) they blamed these mostly mythical strangers. End result paranoia and fear in society paving the way for 1984 style tactics of control.

[@nottechytutorials]

I watched a Wendigoon video on that.

[@Alec0124]

Something about your wording makes me skeptical. 🤷

[@starfrey]

Also depends on where you live. I've had a lot of kidnappings where I live along with people trying to kidnap me me twice.

[@rebeccahicks2392]

Car crashes are rare compared to car trips that go uneventually. But I'm still going to wear my seatbelt. It's true that most violence against kids is from family members. But for obvious reasons, that's the hardest kind to protect against.

[@hollowwoods7130]

Do you actually have anything to back this up

[@lukacunningham342]

My mother always told me if I was kidnapped or held for ransom, the people would just give me back 😂

[@fourikaunix5407]

WOW the kidnappers have leveled up after such a long time in the business! Congrats, Zack! I enjoy your work!

[@thebumblebeemovie3514]

1:59 2:17 THANK YOU FOR CALLING THAT OUT!! 🙌🏻common sense!

[@betterlatethannever4529]

I’m imagining that these two are actually his parents, but the kid is actually aware that it’s them. Or even that this isn’t even the first time they did this.

[@noahtaul]

2:57 No one’s mentioning that 3/10 = (2+1)/(7+3) but 13/21 = 2/7 + 1/3? That was clever 😂

[@3Faidonas3]

Bro I have no idea what the clever part is, and I've no idea how I passed high school maths in the first place

[@a_d3mon]

@3Faidonas3 13/21 = 2/7+1/3 is the same as simplifying the initial equation and adding across So think of the denominator and make it the same, so in this case 7 and 3 become 21 while 2 becomes 6 and 1 becomes 7. So instead of it being 2/7 + 1/3 = 13/21 It becomes 6/21 + 7/21 = 13/21 When the kidnappers were thinking you add straight across they, incorrectly, assumed that you add the top numbers together and the bottom numbers together and got the wrong answer of 3/10. It's clever because the kidnappers demonstrate that that's how a LOT of people think of fractions because they had trouble understanding them.

[@unluckystaravia2352]

I don't know how the fuck I graduated high school man, I still don't get fractions I just managed to be barely good enough at the other aspects of math to make a passing grade

[@3Faidonas3]

@@a_d3mon but isn't that correct sometimes, like when multiplying fractions?

[@3Faidonas3]

@@unluckystaravia2352 exactly the same here man, damn

[@queenofcats5255]

I love how concerned the kid looks

[@HyperNova808]

I have actually accidentally took a ride with a stranger before when I was young, but some fucking how, they actually just drove me to where I needed to go and let me out, I’ve never really experienced anyone genuinely try to kidnap anyone in real life in my 18 years of living, but I know better than to think it’s completely safe, I was just really REALLY lucky that the person was just trying to help out a stranger I guess

[@mrm64]

That "Stop forever" killed me lmao 🤣🤣

[@mosheackman6095]

Mans really decided he was going to construct a whole ass connected universe of old-style youtube skits

[@DudoC137]

1:10 bro did the roblox emote irl 💀

[@et0t]

hitting the /e dance2

[@AlphaSeagull]

3:39 this sounds like a guy who has a lot on his *plate*

[@znation4434]

This is exactly how it was portrayed. The dancing and all

[@duckINGQUACK]

"*listen very carefully, we want a six piece chicken nugget meal with a small fries and chocolate milkshake*"

[@lizanna6390]

Medium meal probably cheaper

[@pikleman5880]

Bro is building a kidnapping lore here.

[@Barnaclebeard]

I love how he's not a slave to pacing

[@thelonewolf7443]

0:41 The Pink Panther kidnapper… is JOHN CENA! 🤦‍♂️

[@Comically_Funny_Baseball_Cap]

Love how they just became dads.

[@jackreynolds3465]

I actually had someone who said that my mom wanted her to pick me up. Surprisingly she was telling me the truth and ended up taking me to jujitsu classes. Years later and I forgot everything I learned there.

[@aptokro3005]

Thats horrifying

[@yazidefirenze]

@@aptokro3005 forgetting jujitsu classes IS horrifying

[@jackreynolds3465]

@@yazidefirenzeStarted taking up karate. Not learning nearly as much as I did in jujitsu though.

[@LeafMaltieze]

the least believable thing is that the McDonald's order was only $27.95

[@CaptainGanu]

A prequel to sequel? That's what i like about the Zach Star Multiverse, such an exquisite expirience!

[@acgaming007]

1:32 lol i love how the guy in the background is just doing the macarena lol

[@Trexybmx]

idk how u were able to to portray the innocence in a child and look like a kid at the same time

[@becominghero9754]

You have some amazing Key and Peele energy with yourself, actually.

[@FatefulMedia3383]

These kidnappers are just trying to adopt, in very _VERY_ *super duper hardcore way!*

[@stonesniffer46]

*pulls out a gun and forces the kid to go with them*

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

"I don't know what a gun is"

[@god_2.0_the_better_version]

turns out theyre already suicidal

[@stonesniffer46]

@@airplanes_aren.t_real 💀

[@Jenifer_R_]

I loved the kidnapper-kiddie conga line.

[@symmetricasymmetric9154]

the profesional kidnapper Zach Star is blessing us with another video about his profession

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

You know this was shot in the 1990s with how cheap all that McDonald's was and the No breakfast after 1030 thing.

[@Imaproshaman7]

It never ceases to amaze me how well written these are. This was amazing.

[@JackMadness91]

With the offer of candy, it would’ve been interesting to see their reaction if he said he was diabetic and couldn’t have any.

[@soliexninjax5671]

Ngl the kidnapper wearing a pink ski mask in broad daylight is kind of insane

[@ashgrun]

the prequel we never knew we needed

[@prestige_rusher_3500]

gotta appreciate that kidnapper doing he french dance lmfao

[@RWU3125]

The unrealistic part of this skit is the low price for the food

[@Meddlmoe]

The interactions between the kidnappers are really well done!

[@domszit.5143]

4:38 in what world does that cost less than 70?

[@bocaj06]

It’s getting progressively worse 😂 at this point this isn’t a robbery

[@kevkevplays5662]

Omg this is a callback to the when they trace your call skit!

[@JavierBusquets-o9e]

The way they keep hyping each other up

[@danielj.m5478]

Hats off to this man for cloning himself multiple times just for us 💪🏾

[@D1SCOTHEIDIOT]

i swear i wouldnt be surprised if the kid is the kidnapper in real life

[@Gurem]

the reverse story telling is carzy

[@crab14]

I love how they acutally went to mcdonalds.

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

My brothers and I sadly disobeyed our mom and when propositioned with candy while at the park, my older brother actually lead the three of us in going to get it. The guy outside of the park thankfully didn't try to grab any of us (he would've regretted that as, while we were generally decent kids, we'd grown up having seen the 90's movie Bebe's Kids and how bad those little bastards were, lol. We would've gone full hellion if kidnapped), but the candy could've been tainted. The park was right behind our apartment building and our mom actually saw us from her bedroom window and called us back to the house. Trying to still hide it, we stashed the candy under the porch before going in. Yeah, way too late 😂. We all got an ass whoopin for it. Lesson cemented, don't take candy from strangers (unless it's Halloween...?) 😅

[@dennishallada890]

Remember, if you get drugs in your candy, say thank you, because drugs are expensive

[@Alec0124]

​@@dennishallada890 Unless it's the kind that makes you dead. Dying is expensive.

[@PoeticMachineDreams]

​@@Alec0124I think about all documented cases of poisoned or tampered candy un-aliving kids has turned out to be done by the parents. So beware the people you know when they act out of character.

[@magic140live4]

The most inaccurate part of this was the price of that order 😭😂

[@brandonmills9683]

That transition to another video was amazing 10/10 i already saw the other video but i rewatched it because that transition was so good

[@genesismultiverse4896]

Kidnappers: we have arkham batman and spiderman 2 insomniac Kid: SOLD

[@qwerthyuiop]

This guy is a professional engineer, only thing I see him engineering are these amazing sketches

[@gribblegrape6496]

I’d Honestly love to see a whole comedy movie just like this

[@frostinstant1892]

love that his math example actually works 2/7 + 1/3 = 3/10 if you add straight across but 13/21 if you do it properly

[@TraceguyRune]

You missed the one where the kidnapper has a puppy

[@lostonthemoon5074]

When I was in the 6th grade. I was walking home from school and also happened to be alone because my friend who was usually with me stayed home that day. I was approached by a white truck and a guy in sunglasses who urgently suggested I go with him, claiming he knew my dad and that he told him to pick me up. I was this 👌 close to getting in that truck but realized very narrowly that something wasn't right when he started getting really mad when I kept denying him eventually he drove off when he realized I wasn't taking the bait. i don't remember exactly what my dad told me when I finally made it home but he did confirm that guy was a total stranger. I never truly understood how dangerous that situation was at the time... Anyways Thank you for making that memory funny how Lmao be should've tried harder didn't even have candy.

[@alive527]

the most unrealistic part was all that mcdonalds costing 27 bucks, i wish

[@sillau9]

Lmao, it also low key kinda reminds me like Dora's "Swiper No swiping..Swiper No swiping!" 🤣🤣😂

[@TrafficCone982]

The dancing got me

[@JessePinkman27892]

This feels like a Nickelodeon sitcom skit

[@dlsn5]

i love how quickly the skit goes off the rails

[@NeonliteMC]

"... and that's the story of how I met your mother"

[@tacoenjoyer8623]

…wait, who’s the father here and who’s the monster?

[@CanisoGaming]

As someone that was in this exact kind of kidnapping, i swear this video is WEARDLY fookin accurate LMAO

[@NoNameNoWhere]

1:38 - I can only imagine the reaction of Zach's students as they watch him dance, "Wow. That man tutored me."

[@iustinianoantalazar5021]

I love those prequels and the continuity in your vids.

[@CraftedMines]

Dude, keep going man, your so funny and your videos are so entertaining. Please make a part 3 like a sequel to when kidnappers call the police

[@Murderdronesfan-t9o]

0:59 the kid wants to go!!!!😂

[@rtbeerzi]

I love how you released part 1, 2nd

[@bookkeepingsmes2089]

❤❤just as I wonder what the rest of the clip could possibly be, Zach Star Himself amazes me!!