Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor

[@DsiakMondala]

Oh no! Didn't Zelensky see that Rasputin animation???

[@doe6974]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3W6ZmaojdafiNk

[@gaveintothedarkness]

Haha I get that reference. Its only if putin has those shoes though.

[@lolasdm6959]

No worries, Zelensky has obtained an EMP device from NATO, it's a game changer I promise.

[@nathangamble125]

He did. But Zelensky won the Ukrainian version of "Strictly Come Dancing"/"Dancing with the Stars" in 2006 (this is real, look it up!). Their dance battle will be legendary.

[@C-Farsene_5]

@@lolasdm6959 the latest Just Dance cheat codes from Germany willl help him snatch victory

[@benjarsenault]

*cue There's a Murder on the Dance Floor*

[@ocularzombie6679]

But ya better not kill the groove!

[@Vffhndsercchi]

Cue Jeffery the dancing duck and don't tear my heart, my achy breaky heart

[@MrEliaspalacios6]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@MrEliaspalacios6]

​@@Vffhndsercchi😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DenkiMarunoko]

да, к сожалению, Зеленский уничтожает свой народ в мясорубке войны

[@facelessman9224]

If you don't exist, you don't need a job - A. I.

[@eplanti]

lol... Imagine if AI took over, before, it took out the garbage and complains, after: it has to take out the garbage and has nobody to complain to

[@agingerbeard]

Only humans can empathize with that level of mundane 😂 ​@@eplanti

[@donaldhobson8873]

Yes, but seriously. Well more like the AI kills everyone for complicated AI reasons. But the people worried about unemployment are being rather optimistic.

[@Frisher1]

Incredible, thank you onion for giving us 100% real news all day

[@Weedocto]

Ik, if the onion ever started giving fake news, we know the worlds going to shit

[@martineldritch]

Zelensky: "May thy pelvis chip and shatter" Putin: "May Thy pelvis chip and shatter"

[@edgepixel8467]

This is funnier than the video itself

[@siewheilou399]

break a leg?

[@Makarosc]

I need to watch Dune

[@ilearnguitar25]

THE SHBWAY SURFERS LMFAOOO

[@Schattengewaechs99]

Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn’t that be a sight?

[@TheGahta]

thats exaclt why the germanian tribes lost versus rome though 😅

[@6uis1948]

Some did

[@havoc6441]

@@6uis1948. Yeah name one.

[@6uis1948]

@@havoc6441 Charles XII

[@havoc6441]

@@6uis1948 . Then he is truly the exception. Most are cowards and thats why i said what i said.

[@hahaiamshambler7627]

Guess he was putin him on.

[@mattkelly2004]

Haha I didn't realize this was the ONION at first was like WTF??

[@gorillamaster101er]

This is ridiculous 🤣

[@Linkman8912]

I mean, at least it's true. Better than some news organizations

[@WRSpiral]

I need a dance battle between Zelenskyy and Putin with Moskau playing.

[@Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation]

*The Ballet of Bakhmut*

[@CountChrisdo]

That thumbnail goes hard

[@zeecaptain42]

Seems like it's contagious to me

[@theseeker4249]

The only real news source in this country 🔥 🔥

[@jimtalbott9535]

Still more logical than any proposal I’ve heard from the Russian side……

[@MrDruder]

See you in half a year)

[@ChineduOpara]

Right???

[@af8828]

??? Both russian and ukrainian sides have repeatedly attempted to come to negotiations over the last two years (especially during the first year), sometimes directly, sometimes arbitrated by a third party like turkey. nato have repeatedly dangled a carrot over ukraine to stop a treaty from forming. Why? Because the US is the head of nato, and the entities that run its government (arms manufacturing, fracking/ oil and gas, etc) all benefit massively from a prolonged conflict. On top of that zelensky and his admin keep siphoning aid to enrich themselves rather than into the ukrainian people, and is selling out the country in a massive privatization drive. Who benefits? You guessed it! US multinational corporations. Nato is willing to fight down to the last ukrainian (as seen by zelensky's drastically expanded mandatory conscription). What makes the least sense, is that western european nato members, are actively crippling their own economies to please their overlord, the US. Previous eurasian integration meant east and western europe were able to exchange labour goods and energy for cheap. Now they pay a markup of the same russian energy sold with tarriffs by saudi arabia or india, or they pay for fracked us energy. Food bank use has skyrocketed in westenr europe, alongside quality of life in general. Social services are being slashed and far-right populist movements are sadly back on the rise. Oh and nato rearmed germany amidst this right-surge. What could go wrong... Of course putin isnt the brightest bulb for invading ukraine, as had he just continued, nato would have likely continued to unravel, as france and germany were already looking for an out. Thats aside from invasion being unjustifiable regardless. This is objective analysis, as opposed to your, "russia bad" take. This is geopolitics, not team-sports. Don't be so politically infantile.

[@Omnipotent_Vsemogushchiy]

​@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. Literally just said you don't care about facts you'll just believe what reddit says. What an idiot...

[@ChineduOpara]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. If you don't wanna read anything more than 2 sentences... why are you here? Why are you asking questions, if you don't want in-depth answers? I'm not even taking sides... I am just curious why you'd ask a question when you already said you don't wanna read the answer???

[@Darth_Sepharious]

I miss the old Onion lol

[@MistyKathrine]

Yeah, the current videos are nothing like the stuff they used to put out 10+ years ago. It's really sad.

[@lettuceman9439]

The publication is very small now with i think only 12 active writers both on the website and youtube. Satiral media has been largely dying for last years mainly due to the internet growing faster than both onion and Mad could have anticipanted, man i even remember they had a movie once

[@MistyKathrine]

@@lettuceman9439 It has a new owner as of last month.

[@mojojojo6400]

​​@@lettuceman9439that's because satirical content and the like became actually factual news now. Just like the old onion predicted everything that would happen with the way the world actually is now. And how the movie Idiocracity became a literal non fiction documentary now. We are literally at that point in time now. Now.

[@schlorbster]

get with the times buster

[@DemonXeron]

I'll be honest, it makes a whole lot more sense than what they are doing now! Minus the nerve agent of course. Bad move.

[@silentnquiet]

“Dance off bro, you and me.”

[@Chance57]

Is crazy going through this channel's catalog to see how the news has changed. From extremely dramatic "breaking news" sweeps directly into an extremely busy office environment with analysts in front of computers in the background to calm slideshows with quotes on them and 20 somethings in street clothes in front of a green screen in portrait mode.

[@LynxErgo]

So they fell off

[@Chance57]

@@LynxErgo The point was they reflect the reality of news reporting of the era. It is hard for them to be absurdist when everyone in real life is so absurd these days.

[@xoviox8065]

They used to have way bigger budgets back then. However they've been recently bought, and the new owners are promising to bring back Onion News Network (the actual high budget stuff), so I'm personally cautiously optimistic about their future

[@LynxErgo]

@@xoviox8065 yea lets hope

[@mojojojo6400]

​@@Chance57​​@lettuceman9439 that's because satirical content and the like became actually factual news now. Just like the old onion predicted everything that would happen with the way the world actually is now. And how the movie Idiocracity became a literal non fiction documentary now. We are literally at that point in time now. Now.

[@TheVibes101]

War On The Dance Floor 🕺🪩

[@notvenom1152]

"I call this dance move "poisoning your tea'" - Vlad

[@real.exitele]

Hey onion, i think you should put braille so the blind could understand

[@dyawr]

lol

[@cbrauts707]

Always have to get my updates from a trusted news source.

[@mariahroberson6283]

What’s up with the repeating videos at the end? You already released the AI vid

[@edgepixel8467]

Content hard. Onion stale. Algorithm unforgiving.

[@doctormanganate5814]

The onion isn’t funny I have been trying to find a funny video from the last 6 years and I cant

[@twinkytwinklier1400]

@@doctormanganate5814yea the onion isn’t really funny. I’ve just binged onion’s sex house and it’s not the same anymore

[@theflyingspaget]

ONION IS SO BAD YOU ALL

[@SB-qm5wg]

"Is that all you have?" 😆

[@MinimalMoose-jc6bk]

Im ashamed to say i thought this was real

[@locomotive9000]

RIP Onion

[@eeeman]

Well I guess its one step above a YuGiOh duel

[@LEONFENG134]

Is this real????? What about the military? Are they still fighting?

[@zeecaptain42]

Oh they're still working it. Who do you think had to tap in after Zelensky tapped out?

[@xdeadpool7863]

@@zeecaptain42 😂😂😂

[@edgepixel8467]

No, everybody is dancing.

[@RedUrethra]

[@pingislife2653]

As great as it would be to see the flashy moves leading to a definable result, the winner of the Zelensky/Putin dance battle is inconsequential to AI.

[@googleyoflolz9930]

*flashbacks to the dances that will save Ukraine videos*

[@siouex]

It's not funny from 1:28, I'm afraid that it's literally a prophecy

[@yousircantknow8987]

Kids really suck at satire nowadays.

[@nelsonjanusson7278]

WOAW 10/10 thank you for this true piece of art. it cemented my opionion on ukraine AND gaza. ofc the shirtless stuff was fake but but generally you made some good points:D.

[@doctormanganate5814]

I will bet anyone any amount of money that this was written mostly by chatGPT

[@AugustKjelmannNielsen]

I miss the old onion😢

[@subhakantabhanja5113]

They should put diss track on each other and let the audience decide who won

[@Bax365]

Finally, some real diplomacy.

[@spidey-69]

Lol😂, I hope Onion will be back to its good old days❤

[@parabalani]

Unfortunately, Putin doesn't have any chance

[@neosn1232]

How can the onion look at the timelessness of its library over the past decade and think that this format compares in the slightest? By god you're reading out reddit comments. At first I thought it was a joke, but I think your editors actually believe that's what we want to see.

[@doctormanganate5814]

At first I thought they were writing those comments themselves but they are actual real Reddit comments.

[@martianbuilder5945]

They don't have the budget for what they used to make anymore. Besides, the real news nowadays is often as absurd as what they used to play.

[@aVerveQuest]

If you ever seen Putin turning up the funk to Biney M's classic "Rasputin" you know who'll win. Funk Overload!

[@touhoufan2018]

All hail Skynet!

[@joshfactor1]

just make sure there are no windows in the room where they have the dance-off

[@susanfrary6880]

Chilling AI segment. !!!

[@Matthew_A_N]

The onion used to be good

[@Lodit24]

You should hire the AI section guy more often, he has a very natural and relaxing voice.

[@rustyshackle917]

Disagree. Gen X and I just don't get this format. Certainly won't age well like their original stuff.

[@Lodit24]

@@rustyshackle917 (It was a joke, cause it's an AI voice)

[@jrkc9218]

😂 “shake that ass and do some real diplomacy” I am dead

[@RighteousInquisition]

never really stopped.

[@nathangamble125]

Fun fact: Zelensky won the Ukrainian version of "Strictly Come Dancing"/"Dancing with the Stars" in 2006.

[@eeeman]

As a famous artist once said: Hips Don't Lie

[@donaldhobson8873]

The bit about artificial intelligence is Very accurate. To be fair to those worried about unemployment, their might be a couple of years when a lot of humans are unemployed but not dead yet.

[@doctormanganate5814]

You must know nothing about AI if you think it’s gonna cause mass scale unemployment. ChatGPT is an LLM and LLMs suck, all the experts know that btw. ChatGPT can’t even do middle school level math yet you think AI is gonna take your job.😂😂😂

[@Chris-k3f]

wow this is just sad compared to the real onion

[@DavidLS1]

Every time there's a new Onion video, I click on it. And every time I do, I miss the old Onion.

[@thenutella8846]

I know it's different from the old onion, but it's still entertaining in a way.

[@MiracleFound]

The hips don't lie.

[@emphaticapathy]

What happened to your budget? I’m from ‘the grabbler’ days. This is not da bomb. Check yourself.

[@Zonker66]

Oh... I wish.

[@davidthorsteinsson7502]

Okay, you can't tell me that Guinness one hasn't happened somewhere at least once

[@LEONFENG134]

Wtf!!!!! Is this real?????

[@Thekowaikaiju]

Thanks for the uh, existential crisis there, Onion. lol

[@lonebikeroftheapocalypse9527]

That ain't fair. Zelinski has been dancing with the "fellas" for most of his pre-presidential career as a comedian.

[@zeecaptain42]

I mean to be honest you really think Putin hasn't practiced his nerve gas game for years by now? We all have our strengths and weeknesses

[@The5armdamput33]

"Show, don't tell"! - I wanted to see the footage of that dance-off!

[@ZeHoSmusician]

"Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor" It's a shame they don't actually do that. It'd save a lot of people an awful lot of bother... (Well, except if Putin won the challenge...)

[@Laurentinio1]

Onion, what happened to you?

[@HypercowXYZ]

Money ran dry and the good writers left.

[@ikipemiko]

still doing great - although some writers left, maybe problem is with your television??

[@tonyshor3434]

Somehow, as a Ukrainian, I couldn't find this joke funny, I really don't know why. Maybe because Ukraine is invaded, and cities get leveled, and people get raped, tortured and murdered, and somehow war is not funny at all, maybe that's the case..

[@basil_gamin]

They joke about the israel Palestine war too. That’s kinda their thing they make satire even about bad things

[@johnfraire6931]

Ngl, that ask bartenders skit was too real XD

[@Ozymandias83]

I was a hoping it for Tyler Durden Fight Club round going by the thumbnail.

[@agingerbeard]

I played Cyberpunk, I'm ready to go beyond the Blackwall.

[@poppulseupdate]

How about a Blood on the Dance Floor version, where Putin slowly gets crippled while dancing

[@bbbeto02]

I don't think I've ever seen in my mind a picture moving more than this video's thumbnail. lol

[@Joy-sr8nh]

lol ah the old nerve agent move…rare but entertaining exit of a show😂

[@alexander1485]

New onion sux

[@k.l.hollister8128]

Sadly, this is exactly what I expect next out of this clown show we call “government”.

[@doctormanganate5814]

Wtf did you just say

[@shanu3009]

Crazy world out there, eh?

[@gilcoriander5987]

Reminds me of that Daily Soak satire article I read last year. Guess Daily Soak did it before The Onion. 🤭

[@ChineduOpara]

Isn't this how The Olympics started? Literally true! 😅

[@thenutella8846]

The Olympics weren't to prevent warfare though.

[@samsonxon]

This did not age well

[@milztempelrowski9281]

Omg, I expected modern Onion to be less edgy and funny than 10-15 years ago, but this is shameful in comparison. Did everybody who had humour just leave you guys?

[@Killsalamandr]

Mainstream news got nothin on this!

[@TrippyPixels]

Cue War On The Dancefloor by Nachtmahr

[@ChrisJohnson-py4gg]

All wars need to be settled this way from now on.

[@agingerbeard]

Dang, last time I saw an Onion video there was a bear running amok 😅

[@ghostmantagshome-er6pb]

" Oh Snap!" Justin Trudeau

[@BirdGang6]

How the war was really won!

[@blacknrd05]

I wish this was real

[@dyawr]

All of it?!

[@Dassusauce]

What happened to this channel? You went from cool fake news videos to tts subway surfers... :/

[@K7sync]

They went from elaborate shitposting to just shitposting.

[@jamsheeddevotee7588]

Hips don't lie

[@theshib277]

what is better, to remain subbed and never watch or unsub

[@c0llesystem]

Maybe they could do "The Masked Singer - Crimea edition"

[@Phosfit]

I need more believable content to fool my friends with.

[@Caydos]

One man's Vladimir is another man's Volodymr

[@victorpessoa2756]

This stuff they put in the end of the video is kind of annoying

[@tc98826]

This just isnt funny. Wtf happened to the Onion.

[@kittyonmydesk5532]

Note to all customers: YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO INFORM YOUR BARTENDER THAT YOU ARE A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER. Just your neighbors. Please STOP. 👌🏽 That A.I. voice interview, tho

[@lofipiggy7718]

tbh i wish this is real....

[@Tiger_Simple]

“Well not too efficiently. We may be robots, but we like to have a lil bit of fun.” 😂💀

[@rkaussner]

It would be great if the two of them challenged one another to a Kazotsky Kick dance competition!

[@trekkienzl2862]

Dance battle: Joe Biden vs. Vladimir Putin

[@dbsk06]

Lol those abs

[@faarsight]

No doubt Zelensky would win

[@PaulTheadra]

We need a walk off, and Billy Zane can rate them. So hot right now.