12 Suggestions for Dealing with Grief and Loss

Counselor Carl (serenityonlinetherapy.com) offers 12 suggestions for coping with grief and loss, which can leave grievers feeling lost, confused, and disoriented. He states that grief is not what we expect it to be and self-care is most important in navigating the rocky waters of a major loss. He offers a roadmap for how to deal and cope with grief while stressing the importance of not trying to grieve alone. He explains how to turn suffering into sacred pain and love. Counselor Carl's straight-forward teaching style makes complex concepts easy to understand. Counselor Carl is a licensed, professional counselor with 19 years of clinical experience both online and face-to-face.

[@wordnerdink]

I lost my wife and my daughter, its been a mess. sending love to anyone out here who is hurting. its not easy.Most days I dont even know who I am anymore without them

[@nivedpalissery1969]

God bless you brother..

[@testicleaids4413]

F

[@danpictish5457]

Try and get your loving friends around you. I have great supportive friends over here in Scotland. Blessings pal.

[@renegaderezteazy7020]

Hey bro. My name is tj. My mom who was 46 just passed away. I am 33 She had me at 14 yes old. She ws never ever there for me and any attempts that I made as an adult were shot down by her. I hated her so much. But I loved her just as much only a bit more. The only thing I ever wanted in my life was a relationship with her and to know she loved me. Now she's gone and I'm not sure if she ever did. And now she never can. I need peoe in my circle. Maybe you can offer me advice?

[@chan082470]

Prayers

[@janeclifford585]

The gift of grief is that we know we have loved and been loved

[@richardmcguinn732]

That’s so true. Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?

[@aforcetobeROXANNEwith]

Thank you

[@Wookinpanub235]

Wow that is very true. Great way of looking at it, very positive.

[@corimelton3602]

I just lost my mom 3 weeks ago, she was the only person in my life we did everything together and she was there for me I miss you so much mom

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Cori. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.

[@wordnerdink]

Rest in peace Sarah, I love and miss you. im trying honey so hard. I just cant seem to be ok

[@lydialombardo5606]

I'm sorry sorry, I lost my mom 5 months ago ,I've tried all the steps and I'm still in pain. I pray God gives you the strength to get through this, I promise you will be ok.🙏

[@user-rd1sv3bq9o]

@@lydialombardo5606 linda my mom passed 4 yrs ago. The first year is iike being the fires of hell with grief. My advice is stay near to loved ones. Lean on people. Now its been 4yrs. I lean on less people but i still miss her like crazy. I try and celebrate her life than her death. Stay safe. Be kind to yrself xx

[@lydialombardo5606]

I'm so sorry. May God bless you and your family always🙏😢

[@djmgoblue]

Mike how are you holding up since posting 2 yrs ago? I found out that it's not okay to not be okay. No one will ever know or understand what you are personally enduring. Have you received any kind of bereavement support or theapy? May you find comfort and encouragement for each new day. I lost my pops couple weeks ago and it's a never-ending nightmare for me. I'm glad for this video.

[@wordnerdink]

@@djmgoblue it’s not been easy. The anniversary of her passing is in two days. No I really haven’t but I’ve been very active in my healing via reading and studying. Thank you for checking in on me

[@Chris_1011]

I recently lost my mom the grief is unending..I am very blessed to have had wonderful mother like her in my life..I pray I will see her again someday..thank you sir for sharing this video.

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

you are lucky to have had a good Mom. My Mom died 6 months ago but she was not a good Mom, I guess I grieved while she was alive, she was so narcisstic and uncaring. Believe me you were blessed. I am sure it would be painful to have lost a good Mom.

[@lizafield9002]

Me too.

[@chop3625]

I can relate, it’s just never ending awful.

[@mariaandreaspashi1931]

I understand you, we are blessed to have had wonderful mother in our life, I miss her unconditional pure love, my happiness depended on her love.

[@christine4224]

So sorry for your loss. ❤

[@shiianned1651]

I lost my daughter six months ago. Your video is the first thing I've found that actually makes sense to me. Thank you.

[@s.c7879]

Dee Dimeo Pruitt I know you posted this a while back but how are you doing?

[@hannahduggan3599]

I am so sorry about your daughter. How old was she?

[@JuanaMarie22]

I’m so sorry honey.. hugggsss

[@JuanaMarie22]

Shiianne D I’m so sorry honey!!! Huggggssss

[@cynthiawilson4768]

I feel for your loss of your daughter! May God bless and keep you! I have lost my entire family due to my generosity to help a granddaughter and she took complete advantage of me and I had just lost my husband in March of 2020.

[@nicolezapata3898]

Talk to someone, shower and sleep. That's what I've been doing

[@LD-zi7gs]

I recently lost my dad. He was my idol, best friend, and biggest support in life... and now my life feels so empty without him. Your videos make me feel like I'm not going crazy and that my feelings are normal.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, LD. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved father. I am glad you found some support from my video. I wish you the best!

[@balloons864]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy thanks

[@michellelohde8683]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy last night lost my girlfriend of two years she has beast cancer she was the love of my life I was mess my mum and dad had to hold me when they take her body away she was gay and she was my frist real love she was my best friend of 20 years how I cope without my soulmate ???.

[@michellelohde8683]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy today I open up to my mum and dad about my girlfriend "s death they hate I in much pain and happy i open up to them why they happy i open up to them ???.

[@tansleypotts9486]

Thanks for the kind words I lost my husband 8 months ago and find it really hard without him 😭 people say 'nice things to me but they don't really help me I feel so lost without him

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Tansley. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband.

[@richardmcguinn732]

Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again Tansley?

[@MichelleLohde-uv2rx]

@@richardmcguinn732 i lost my boyfriend last mouth at age he died in our house he had motor diaseses he last word was i love you babe and thanks giving me best 7 years and he kissed my hand i stood by him till the end i loving girlfriend and waht kind girlfriend i am to him ?.

[@veronicafowler5026]

I lost my husband six months ago it's like am in a dream, having him beside me this minutes and all of a sudden he does not exist anymore. The pain is so unbearable. He was my bestfriend and my companion. I am so loss, sad and empty. I remember him as being the sweetest person I ever known. Rest in peace my love.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Veronica. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband.

[@richardmcguinn732]

Hope you’ve found peace , comfort and happiness again Veronica?

[@Wookinpanub235]

Man when I read these stories from so many of you going through this I get choked up cause I feel exactly the same way. Just keeping busy and plugging along in survival mode. I’m a little over two months in and i have my good moments and bad moments. It really helps to have friends and family to talk to.

[@TRUTHDrops]

You know how you can tell this is a real honest channel.There's no thanks button attached to it

[@cecilek.8289]

Thank you. You have given me some hope. I am on day 14 of my moms passing. No. I was one of the people who have feared my entire life on losing my sweet wonderful best friend of a mama. 💕 she was supposed to come home soon. I live in Alberta and she lived in Ontario with my identical twin sister. I am here with our dad and the rest of my family. I am devastated. I have never felt this kind of pain in my entire life. I wake up crying. Even if it was just a nap. Or in the middle of the night. 🥲 She was coming home soon and we were going to celebrate her 70th. My mom was vibrant. I just told her mom! We should go to Banff and the mountains when you come. She said to me ‘I loooooove the mountains’. I cannot escape this pain. I am so emotionally exhausted.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Cecile. I am so sorry for the death of your beloved mother. I'm glad you found some support in my video.

[@samia6888]

How are you doing now?

[@pitchgrey2068]

I lost my cat. I can't stop crying. Nothing from playing with my bro to talking to my friends, I can't stop. Not even family can cheer me up.

[@qquromii]

I hope ur okay now..

[@5MinutePsychology]

It seems that dealing with grief is something we all need learn. And this one skill I would not like to have to learn.

[@blatantenigma3374]

Exactly, it is an essential skill that totally sucks to learn.

[@coweatsman]

I don't know that it is a skill set. We all have coping strategies all ready to go. We just need space to discover what our own are, and they will be different for different people. There is no "one size fits all" approach. For example, if you're an introvert you are unlikely to respond to group therapy or even to a one on one therapy. Some people like myself will respond better to solitude and reflection without the threat and unease of sharing. Other people need to indulge in an activity their lost one loved to connect with their grief. It's different for everyone.

[@shenanigansyo7591]

OMG you say it so right! I feel like a stranger in a strange land. ~Annette

[@richardmcguinn732]

Hope you’ve found peace, comfort and happiness again?

[@brianwillis5663]

Lost my wife 18 months ago to covid i blame myself because i was supposed to protect her she was house bound and it was brought in from out side she suffered so much before she died in hospital. I can't forgive myself i miss her every day an d night. I loved her to bits and still do

[@KALEY768]

I'm still grieving the loss of my mom and my good friend 😔 I can't wish the pain away 💔 😪 .

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and good friend.

[@shortmashins4031]

Im going through grief right now and your advice have been helpful. Thank you for this. Grief is a such a lonely journey, even though there are others that are grieving with you, it's such a subjective and solo path to walk on.

[@ZeeInterpretations]

I lost my mum 8 months ago. Today I went to my clinic to seek help for my grief. I feel ill be fine. Thanks for this video.

[@Jobaz]

I lost my best friend two days ago. He died suddenly, so has been a complete shock to everyone who loves him. I'm totally heartbroken and consumed by grief, I loved him very much and can't see a way out of this darkness. But thank you Carl, I will try to follow these steps.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Jo Jo. I am so sorry for the tragic death of your best friend. These steps are not so much to follow. Rather they will help you understand what you are going through.

[@Katie-wl6xr]

I lost my grandma almost 6 years ago, and it’s really starting to hit me again, this is exactly what I needed

[@werringertonney7489]

Lost my grandmother, she’s was everything to me. Sending you love.

[@shariqkhan8086]

I just lost the love of my life: my wife and my son. I don't know how life will go on but I got 2 boys, 11 & 8, and I'll be keep going for them.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Shariq. I am so sorry for your tragic losses.

[@vlloyd46]

I lost my lovely brave, kind mother 3 months ago. She was my best friend. I'm on a major emotional rollercoaster. Listening to your sympathetic advice, helped. I'm going to have some group bereavement counselling sessions next month. Thank you for 'being there'.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.

[@michellelohde8683]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy I trying cope without the love my life she been gone over 2 weeks my mum and dad sent me to talk to my aunt who lost her husband to cancer after i try hang myself they much I in pain and grieve for Megan she was the love my life and my best friend why they worried about and want open up about her ???.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@michellelohde8683 Hi, Michelle. Please talk to your doctor about your suicidal thoughts, urges, and behaviors. There is professional help available for you. Please get the help you need.

[@maychang3478]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Hi Counselor Carol, My sweet baby girl stuffed dog Casy who has sadly passed away from her injury after her birth at the age of 13 year old Her injury was so bad after the doctor cut off the cord from me that she passed away I am carrying my sweet baby girl stuffed dog Casy's ashes in a glass floating heart locket necklace with me whenever I go I feel like my heart is going with her I am feeling so bad that I want to be with my stuffed dog Casy for the the last time I want to cry over her death every time I looked down at my glasse floating heart locket necklace with her ashes in it Please pray for me it really really hurt me still

[@bonitadeortiz1460]

My heart goes out to all of you. I lost my grandmother 10 years ago. She was my best friend biggest cheerleader confidant my reason for living. The 1st year was hard. The second harder. My grief sent me spiraling into a deep depression I caught all kinds of illness ended up in a medicinal semi coma could only get up to go to the bathroom and back to bed I went. Finally 2 and a half years ago I got strong enough to go back to work at first 6 months part time. When COVID almost took my husband I forced myself into full time. It's been a challenge but I thank God everyday for my progress. There's still a long way to go. One hour and 1 day at a time is all the advice I have for you. Know that it has a purpose some day you will be able to help guide someone through their pain and suffering. Look for your loved ones encouragement to continue in your daily lives. For me 1 of the signs was the color purple in any shade especially lilac that would be a kiss from Heaven from my "GranJefa"

[@saranexie7809]

I love that "Gran Jefa"....My grandfather passed away a month ago and I can't deal with it. I miss him so much, I can't believe I'll never see him or hear his voice again. He was like my second father, sometimes the first one. Why is life like this 😭😭😭😭😭

[@alexandrahuffman9800]

I recently lost my little sister to cancer. This video really helped.

[@HYPNOTICVIDEO]

I am so sorry for your loss. My sister also had cancer and passed away a week ago.

[@delyparker777]

I have learned that self-care is one of the most important things. Sometimes, you have to realize the hopelessness in a situation in order to get to the acceptance stage. You cannot change others; only yourself and by learning to let go of the struggle to try to change anything or anybody, that will be the key to moving on and learning to live in the present and to fight for the future. The past cannot be changed. Sometimes not caring anymore is a way to emotionally detach yourself from a painful situation. Trying to find meaning or a silver lining in your suffering is also important. Taking life one day at a time is also a good coping strategy. Accepting that life is not easy is another coping strategy. Lowering your standards and expectations in life also helps too.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Very wise words. Thanks for sharing them!

[@dalenehitge3524]

Any advise on how to grief for family that inmigrated for their safety. As soon as i"feel" better something small will remind me that i can no longer pop up the road and see my loved ones. I wont be part of my grandchildrens lifes. We have always been a very close family and i dread the thought of birthdays and Christmas.

[@glennasibarani3364]

I agree wholeheartedly with your remarks.. stepping out of the crazy merry--go-round, letting go of hurt, allowing to nurture myself..that's my goal, all with God's help🙏

[@JamesTube]

this helped for the loss of my cat that I really loved

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

JamesTubeHD I'm glad the video helped in coping with the loss of your precious cat. They are family members, too.

[@coalovd7761]

Same. Love you Jazzy, I miss you

[@werringertonney7489]

I don’t know how I’ll be when I lose my dogs.

[@joannemazurek9075]

My heart is with you. From one pet Guardian to another.

[@debbiereigate705]

“People pleasing will not work” ......thankyou 🙏🙏🙏💗💗

[@user-ni9gk1sv6k]

Yes, it won't work and it could fire back to the pleaser ..

[@sibela9553]

I lost my sister and don't know how to live anymore. She is my guide and light in my life, now I am just lost

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Sibel. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved sister.

[@bugsyashton]

I'm here because i lost my great aunt yesterday. She was 94 years old but she brought me and my sister up. She was the strong one in my family, the one i ran to in times of trouble, or to tell good news to. She was there every step of the way. I was there to hold her hand when she took her last breath...I will always miss her, i can't believe she will never be in my life again...Yesterday, my heart broke into a million pieces :-(

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@leslieiris7093]

Bugszy buns in very sorry for your loss may god comfort you in your loss.

[@ellit381]

Lost my brother two weeks ago I he was disabled for 27 yrs and was an active caregiver during those years there’s such a big empty space and realized how much my identity was wrapped up in caring for him

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Elise. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. A traumatic loss often causes us to find new meaning and purpose. I wish you the best.

[@janesushams1431]

Il never have fun again just exist stay strong ev who's had loss

[@Thomasfrohwitter]

Hi Jane, how’s your day going with you?

[@dumbnutz5145]

Shout out to my man Troy, a great friend and even better yet a brother i hold so close to my heart, I miss you man every single day man, rest in paradise!

[@aquaman7356]

You’re only the 2nd person to nail exactly what it is that ought to be universal answer for grief. My lovely wife Linda passed away Jan 4th of this year. It took months for one lady friend to tell me the truth - I will never get over it - which is of course the words I upmost despised - “get over it.” Enough said, thank you for your sincere words that did indeed comfort me💛

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Daniel. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife.

[@joranfuusa2543]

My father died two weeks ago. I am so lost. Thank you for this video.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

JoRanFu USA. I am sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found my video helpful.

[@luisdasilva9308]

I just lost my love of my life for 33 years on February 13, 2022. And my daughter 14 years old lost her mom. We both are heartbroken and no things will never be the same. We are going to counseling in hopes of trying to make sense passing of my wife passing. Fortunately I have a profound faith in God and that has helped me tremendously. Although I do trust God with my heart and soul and I know that he has a plan for me and my daughter, it still doesn’t make it easy at this point in time. Rest in peace my love for we will be reunited one day.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of the love of your life.

[@luisdasilva9308]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you 🙏🏼

[@chermorris9459]

My grandmother died yesterday due to a heart attack and I've been going to her house ever since birth :( This video really helped. Thank you :)

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Cher Morris I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother! I'm glad my video was helpful.

[@davidnagley4009]

thank you. my mother just passed away.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

David Nagley I'm sorry for your loss.

[@dineomabotja4413]

Hy sory about ur loss....my mom passed away three weeks ago how do u mange that

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

dineo mabotja By accepting that you have to go through a grieving process and practicing good self care. Using your supports. Learning about grief.

[@robynneRN]

David Nagley Sorry for your loss. I know it has been a year since your loss, but I am sending positive vibes over the web for you!

[@orlansmith6230]

My Granddad Passed Away 13TH OCT 2016 My Granny Anne Passed Away 18TH DEC 2013

[@NPPREMA]

Thank you for this video. It just popped up first when I opened KZbin. I lost my dear mother quite suddenly recently. She had been very normal all day and then she had a massive haemorrhagic stroke in the evening. She was in the ICU for 10 days before she passed on. I am traumatized by the violence of her extreme pain and suffering. She was so sweet, innocent and gentle, saintly almost. She was my strength and my best friend. The images of her in pain, and later , in varying states of consciousness in those last few days keep haunting me when I close my eyes. I found your video compassionate. Will listen to it again .

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Prema. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your mother. I'm glad you find some support in my video. I have a Playlist of videos on grief: kzbin.info/aero/PL_wjG-62KkuuQpQbo1wo-Vm22kQLase3G

[@magicjewel96]

My grandmother was diagnosed with Colon cancer a couple of days ago and according to the doctor, there is no alternative treatment. It's especially fearful for me, since the last time someone I was close to died, I was extremely depressed and suicidal for around five years. I'm over 20 years old now and I'm trying to prepare myself and avoid an emotional collapse. I'm also worrying over my mother, since she's begun to not eat or sleep as much as she should. I'm thinking of us both learning how to crochet when we have the time to meet up (Grandma knew how and tried to teach us, but we didn't really pay attention) and I'm ordering an RPG game to play when I'm alone and taking a break from the process.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hello. I am so sorry for your grandmother's serious illness. Distraction from overthinking the situation is helpful, but you also must allow yourself to grieve without obsessing on the loss for any longer than necessary. I would suggest that you find someone or some place where you can talk regularly about your grief, possibly a grief support group or a grief counselor. Hospice usually offers grief groups for free or inexpensively. They also sometimes offer individual therapy. And if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and/or suicidal again, you should talk with your doctor about getting help. I wish you the best!

[@FinoClips]

I miss so much my Gran parents. I admire them and loved them so much.. I don't think i ever told how much i admire them . Every day i feel sad for not spending as much i should have. I lost them, and i feel so regretfull. It's been years and years and i have never stopped missing them

[@nidhibobal1133]

Thanks. I needed this right now while experiencing a breakdown. I lost my mother a few months back. She meant the world to me. I get out of breaths when I have moments of sudden realisation of her absence. It is as if I am waking up from deep slumber. Waking up to an ugly reality. Harder to accept when the heart does not want to accept just yet.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Nidhi. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm glad you found support in my video. I wish you the best.

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

Me too ,I get panic attacks when I realize she is gone

[@danielbiggs6085]

Hello my friend.. I lost my mum 5 weeks ago today from covid.. my mum was my world.. I noticed reading your post that you were close to your mum aswel.. can I ask how your feeling 7months on? ❤

[@nidhibobal1133]

@@danielbiggs6085 Hi. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is insurmountable. Maybe we can connect over email? Mine is [e-mail]

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

@@danielbiggs6085 for me it's 5 weeks today ,since my mom is gone ,it seems surreal

[@melissastarbuck5419]

I'm trying to get a clear understanding of my emotions. I lost my dad suddenly 4 months ago. I took time off work and went back. Since, I've found it hard to function normally. Getting out of bed is a chore, work does not matter, (even though I'm my only source of income). I'm not dealing with this well. I want to live my life normally again. The 5 stages video seems to be what I feel, just not in order. I feel like I ask for help out loud and no one can hear me. I find your videos helpful.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Melissa. I am sorry for the loss of your father. Grieving a major loss takes time, mindfulness, patience, and acceptance, both of the process and the loss. We don't just snap out of it. However, if you are feeling stuck and it is significantly affecting your functioning, I would suggest seeing a grief counselor or joining a grief support group. Hospice generally offers grief support groups. Best wishes.

[@evelynmahoney3992]

grief does not end learnin it is a condition of copin adaptin is key..Talk to God...no one but God gets it...some can identify with u but few can help

[@samia6888]

How are you doing now?

[@giamehlos5087]

Rest in peace my only child Cody Mehlos. You were a wonderful human being!

[@aliced4452]

I lost my son, steve he was 38 yo, I'm having a heck of a time, I'm lost, empty, crying all the time, I miss him so much..He passed 2/2/21.. Ty for this vedio..I pray every day...

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. I am glad you found some support in my video.

[@irishsingersongwritertessp4223]

Thank you. I lost my mum over a week ago and its such a sad surreal time. She was my best friend and I was always looking after her in her older years. I'm glad she's at peace but miss her company terribly. These steps are helping

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.

[@irishsingersongwritertessp4223]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you🙏

[@CamillaHolm]

I lost my beautiful 25 year old son to suicide less than a month ago. Your videos about grief feel soothing and helpful to watch. I am only in the very beginning, but will come back to wath these again on my journey. Thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Camilla Holm. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

[@grannykinky5573]

Since the death of my boyfriend I month ago, I found this to be helpful with acceptance. This was taken from a mega pastor on grief; It's the DEATH of what we remember, and the END of what we had in mind

[@curtistinemiller4646]

Your suggestions make so much sense, I lost my baby girl,Two months ago and it is very PAINFUL,I will try all of your suggestions...Thank you ,I am very tired it FEELS like a rapid ROLLERCOASTER....

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Curtistine. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter.

[@spurrell1964]

My son passed away three years ago. Heart attack. 27 years old. I’m angry. I feel overwhelmed with my loss. It doesn’t ever get better , it gets different

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Lori. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. You are right that in some respects we never "get over" the loss. However, we still can find our way back to living life fully in the here and now even as we continue to grieve. I wish you the best.

[@spurrell1964]

Thank you Carl. Colton’s bd is Aug 1st and the waves are crashing over me , getting stronger and stronger. Most days I’m drowning. My life as I knew it is over. I am no longer the person I once was.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@spurrell1964 Usually the anticipation of the birthday is worse than the actual day. Still, it helps to plan for it by either doing something special to memorialize your son and doing something special for yourself to distract yourself from the anniversary. Yes, such a tragedy will change you, but from my experience grieving leads to growth, wisdom and a rethinking of our priorities.

[@stephaniejernigan2069]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy ... Thank you for those words if wisdom.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@stephaniejernigan2069 You're welcome!

[@valerieminster1626]

Thank you this video is helpful. I have experience the horrible feelings in the 12 steps. I lost my daughter a little over 6 months ago. There are times when I still can not believe she is gone. One day I feel a little better, the next day, not. I am praying for my faith to go stronger and for me to accept what I can not change. I spend too much of my time thinking about the past and what I could have and should have done.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Valerie. I am so sorry for the tragic death of your daughter. Here are two more videos that might help you understand the grieving process you are going through: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iomrdXSqoJ2Wd6s and kzbin.info/www/bejne/n2KyYX-dgMajaKM.

[@charujindal3600]

I have lost my father. People says pain is healed by time but it's opposite to me...it's increasing day by day... I miss him like anything.... nobody is understanding me....i feel helpless for myself for my mom...she feels alone

[@sparkleandbertie]

My partner of 20 years has passed from lymphoma, it happened so fast, within a month of seeing a Doctor it had taken him. It's just surreal, reality is just a fog I float in and out of. I pray for understanding as I'm just left baffled by the whole experience, can't make sense of it at all. I can't control or reason with my emotions, they come and go at any set time. Death seems to bring on the beginning of huge changes in your inner being, being gentle and allowing the process seems to be the only way.🙏x

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your partner. Thank you for sharing.

[@MichelleKMann]

Thank you! 🙏 My best friend is suffering greatly and these tips will help tremendously. I cried listening to this, because I realized God brought me into my friend's life for such a time as this. 😍

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!

[@tonyrobinson362]

I'm sorry but if there was a god he wouldnt have took my dear wife 3 months ago who i loved and still love today.

[@soloangel625]

I lost my brother he was 17 I lost my mom my dad many years ago and now my husband and also my dog I surrender all to Jesus. We are grieving and I am praying to God everyday. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for sharing Amen 🙏 God bless you all. Self care Amen 🙏

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Amen. Jesus is the only way to find true peace in this world of sorrow and conflict. God bless you I am so thankful that you found Him!

[@draculauradump3748]

Goodbye mom iloveyou I hope your in peace I thank God because she gave a mother like you it's never easy for me to lose you but you will always be in my heart mom. I miss you!

[@jonpogue427]

I just started a group grief and it feels like I'm right back to the day my wife passed away!!!!

[@kerennelson9947]

Thank dear man, these videos saved me, when I was walking through some of the most painful times in my life. Working through tremendous grief. Thanks for being gentle, kind and real

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're very welcome! I am glad you found my videos helpful. And thank you for your kind words!

[@paigehogan5396]

I just lost my granddad on Saturday it has been the hardest thing in my life I've had to deal with I just can't stop crying I miss him so much and I'd do anything to bring him back but I suppose he's better off out your video helped me so much thanks a billion Carl

[@sunriseschubert4391]

I just lost my beloved mother unexpectedly on October 6 2022 and I'm heartbroken 😭💔. I feel a part of me was ripped apart. I'm praying to God for strength, healing, and resignation soon 🙏🏻✝️🕊️

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Sunrise. I so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.

[@nineangels7572]

Thank you. Here I am on my 8th anniversary of my dad's death & like clock work I am sad & missing him so much.I know this will pass & I will get back to some kind of normal but these dates are always rough.Thank you for helping.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome.

[@joannaseigler6926]

Thank you so much for your video.

[@darrylmartell4784]

huge help .. i was feeling bad for just taking time for myself after my brother past..thank you

[@jenniferwong4530]

My best friend died yesterday. I woke up this morning feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus. My brain isn’t working and my body is aching from top to bottom. I can hardly focus to write this comment. I feel like I’ve been pushed under water and am fighting to stay afloat. This video helped. I will make decisions for the next several days on what I need to do right now. Thinking ahead is not possible. On foot in front of the other. I can do that. Thank you

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Jennifer. I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

It's not major loss; it's multiple losses, involving major trauma. Your video helps me much. Thank you.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

I think I've just been too preoccupied by life to grieve many, many losses. The most recent is my oldest sister and her son. Other struggles in life, not involving a human loss, also require grieving. And what about the loss of the world, as we knew it?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Kirstin! I'm sorry for your losses.

[@EddieLuongo]

I recently loss my best friend back in April 2015 and I am currently seeing a grief counselor to help my deal with loss. Yes your suggestions that you listed are right on the dot. At times I still struggle and get emotional because I never would have thought that losing someone so early would hurt this much.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Edmond Yan I am sorry for your loss!

[@seashell371145]

Edmond Yan I'm sorry for your loss, I know the feeling it hurts so badly.

[@dcdddddd1]

I understand how you feel. There was a lady at my job that died back in January and I'm hurting too. I think about it every day.

[@evelynmahoney3992]

yes grief no one can experience it but u ...your own sadness lonliness ..distress.. acceptin of the loss can take your whole life time because there is no end to grief once u accept then u are startin to understand there is no end to this struggle ..in the beginnin u feel there is an end to grief.. how is that possible when even in death there is no end. somethin happens beyond the grave however lg it takes. most of us do not grieve over evry one that leaves...only certain ones we grieve .its a deep feelin that u cannot pray it away laugh it away..forget it away cry it away work it away..or grieve it away.. it is there..it is a condition situation...reprieve only by God's Grace n Mercy.. the acceptance is understandin the process...the journey....the end is never cause u want that person bac any day would be fine . no one can tell u this because they only know how to adapt adjust cope endure .to accept then it starts bac over.we continue to grieve because the loss is in this life time..professionals can only tell you how to grieve and how it may lessen but cannot tell u the duration of time it takes or when it leaves...can u get rid of the label widow ..it is who u are... marry again still was a widow. 🙏God Bless us

[@markusokellius]

This has been a helpful source of calm for me. Thank you for sharing it Carl. I have wrestled with my loss, and have come to some level of acceptance. I thank you again :)

[@raew5263]

Disorienting is right. Grief is such a beast of an emotion. I’m struggling to find direction or purpose, unsure of who I will be. 😢 The loss is so profound

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for your loss, Rachel.

[@raew5263]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you 🙏🏻 My Mother passed 3 weeks ago, peacefully yet I’m still gutted + overwhelmed w/grief. Appreciate your kind words

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

@@raew5263 You're welcome, Rachel!

[@sinamkuch657]

Thank you for sharing

[@holyhallie]

thanks for the words of advice, I lost my lover to liver failure on 3-1-17, his name was Bill

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of Bill.

[@brittthe5starchick]

I lost my dad a month ago, he was suffering from an illness and he fought to the last day. I saw him pass and it traumatized me. The pain of not only losin my dad but watchin him go is somethin that is so hard to live with. I am thinking about goin to grief counseling. Thank you so much for your help and advice in how to cope with this.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Britt. I am very sorry for the loss of your father. I'm glad you found my video helpful. Grief counseling can help you navigate the confusing and painful waters of grief. I wish you the best!

[@leslieiris7093]

Britt the 5star chick I'm sorry for your loss about your father and about the trauma you experienced. I pray that jesus comforts you I. Your grief and to help you overcome this very tough situation .may god be with you always. I also just lost my husband to stage 4 colon cancer in February 9th 2021. And I also seen him pass away. They put him in a life support machine and respirator machine and blood pressure medicines to keep his blood pressure up and his heart beating. I also am very traughmaurized about this and feel very sad about this situation. Please pray for me also thank you and God bless you.

[@stephaniemalin268]

I lost my husband a year ago in May had prostate cancer stage four found out nothing helped he got skinny it was horrible very Trumatic for me and then before him was my parents within three years dad first then mom horrible the end of the oh yeah middle 2007 -2009

[@stephaniemalin268]

Not a good time

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Britt, Jesus loves you! Please allow me to share my best friend's story. Not because I am trying to compare tragedies with anyone else but because she explains how to have true peace. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

[@latinguy67]

I lost my Mom suddenly on 9/23/2020. We were very close. I feel so empty and lost. This video has been quite helpful in my state of grief.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I am glad you found my video helpful. Grief is a process and a journey. Keep learning about grief and helpful skills for grieving. I wish you the best!

[@preetivyas7987]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Emberenicki]

I just lost my grandma 2 days ago, she was like my mother. This helped, thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Elyssa. You're welcome. I am sorry for your loss.

[@janiliebenberg4407]

Thankyou, I found this very helpful after the loss of my daughter.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Jani Liebenberg. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

[@hukilau6]

Thank you for making this video.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

hukilau6. You're welcome!

[@sunflowerz54]

Thank you

[@antoniaromero9462]

I lost my son 16yrs ago and it still feel's like yesterday,, I miss him so much and wished that it was a night mare,, your video made a lot of sense to me,,"Thank You So Much For Your Video"

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome. I am so sorry for your tragic loss.

[@nokuthulalembede4256]

Sorry for your loss,lost my fiance when our first baby was 11 weeks old that was in 2002 till this day on this day I feel like it just happened, I cant find a way to move on.All my relationships end on this month and I'm the one that end things 😭😭

[@sabah4123]

Same here, still raw! 😰

[@sabah4123]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy 🙏💝🇦🇺

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

@@nokuthulalembede4256 Please allow me to share my best friend's story. Not because I am trying to compare tragedies with anyone else but because she explains how to have true peace. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

[@bonniebikowski7478]

Dear beautiful souls. I just lost my little baby boy Saturday 3-26-22. I am in unbearable heartache and pain to the very core of my soul!💔😢😭 please pray🙏 sending love and light from my heart to yours❤🙌🌈💜

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Bonnie. I am so sorry for the loss of your little baby boy.

[@bells7771]

sending love to you. i hope you are taking it one day at a time

[@kristineholcroft9163]

I am so very very sorry wishing you so much love and comfort take care of yourself love and hugs

[@EduardoOmShanti108]

I’m sending you peace and love. Just came upon this video and started reading replies. God Bless your baby boy.

[@ellenbarber3034]

Rest In Peace dear friend Erin. Thank you for your friendship and amazing children. I miss you!

[@stephanygoodpasture5541]

Such a powerful video, simple but so rich

[@hanaayako8300]

Thank you so much for making this video. Im here because i recently lost my mother to leukemia. Everything still feel very unreal and i am very confuse about everything that is going on in my life. This video really helps me a lot.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

+Hana Ayako You're welcome. I am sorry for your loss.

[@pammccagh]

The Butterfly Wings I heard children laughing and then the strangest noise that I have ever heard. I turned around and there were hundreds of butterflies coming towards me. It was the noise of the butterfly wings. I saw the children holding out their hands waiting for the butterflies to land on them. “Do you believe in miracles?” I heard someone ask me. I turned around and there was a very tall young man standing there. “Yes I believe in miracles,” I told him. “Do you think that they do?” He asked me. I looked towards where the children were still laughing and screaming, waiting for the butterflies as they gently landed on their heads and arms and nose. The laughter was beautiful. This is where the children learn to laugh again, this is where the children learn to live again. He asked me to take a seat. I sat down beside him on an old bench, I leaned back, listening to every sound. The laughing had started to get fainter and the butterflies wings softer and all I was left with was an emptiness. “Where did they go?” I asked. “Not far,” he said, “not far at all.” He told me to relax and look towards the trees. I slowly felt my eyes closing as I listened to the beautiful sound of the wind in the trees. I could hear something else from a distance. There were lots of people talking. I felt someone gently touch me on my shoulder asking, “Would you like to walk with me?” I found myself standing up and walking beside him. “Where are we?” I asked. “I felt you should know and understand the depression that they feel.” The depression was falling around me. I didn't like the feeling at all. I stood beside the bed with a little boy called David. He looked so sick he must have sensed the man standing there. He opened his eyes, slowly asking, “Can we go now?” The man gently laid his hands on the boy’s forehead calling him by his name, “David, not long now, David.” David, I didn’t think saw me, I just saw the man standing by the side of him. I heard young David talking to him. We walked away from David’s bed and walked across to a little girl, the most beautiful little girl I'd ever seen, with masses of blonde hair. When I looked back again, her hair had gone. “What happened?” I asked. “He said you were looking into the past. Bring your thoughts into the future.” I did, but I didn't like the future. The little girl was lying there so pale. A beautiful smile came over her face when she saw the man standing by the side of the bed asking, “Clara, are you ready now?” The little girl opened her eyes not saying a word and gently closed them again. I watched the smile coming onto her face. “What is happening?” I asked the man. “Close your eyes, then open them again,” he told me and as I did I saw two other little girls helping the little girl out of the bed. One little girl gave her a beautiful bracelet, the other little girl took hold of her hand. I watched. For one split second, as the little girl turned around to look towards the bed, she could see herself still laying there. She looked at the man and smiled as they walked away. He looked across at me. I knew what he was trying to tell me, it was the little girl's time to go. I couldn't help feeling the pain and the sadness. “Why are you sad?” he asked me. He took my hand and told me she will never feel pain again. She will never feel sadness and she will learn to smile again. He gently let go of my hand, walking out of the room into another one. “What happened?” I asked as I watched two young children just laying there on a cold slab. The feeling of emptiness was overpowering. I didn't like this feeling at all. “What do you feel?” he asked me. I looked at him and told him, “emptiness.” “That is good,” he said. I looked at him in disbelief. He said, “You feel an emptiness because that is just as it should be, their souls have passed over. There is nothing left, just the frame of what once was. “Come,” he said. I started to walk beside him. “Close your eyes,” he told me. I closed them and a moment later he told me to open them again. I heard children, but this time there was a lot of confusion. I saw children sick and tired, just standing there doing nothing. “What is happening to the children?” I asked. I saw a little boy about 11 years old standing there, his hair had fallen out. His eyes were black and the room was miserable, there was no smile on his face, just emptiness. I saw another little boy close by. He was sitting down with his head leaning on his knees. I wanted to turn away, I could not look again. He said, “Maybe your memories will help someone else to understand, these are the children that are hanging on to life because they are too afraid to let go, not for themselves, but for their loved ones.” Once again I went to turn away. “Look again,” he said. I saw five or six children lost in their own thoughts. He placed his hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the room. Then I felt the sunshine on my face and I was back with the butterflies. I felt myself relaxing, I had been taken into two different worlds, one where the children couldn't let go and the other one, where the children have learned to live again. I felt the happiness that they felt. I looked across to where the man was standing, he looked at me and said, “Tell your story, it is important that the people who lose their children understand, not to hang on to the children. The children are very sensible about death. But it is very difficult for loved ones to understand. Tell them that their children are never far from them, but most importantly, tell them their children have learned to smile again.” Written By Automatic Writing Pam McCagh Mandurah W A

[@jacquelinestewart3820]

I’m reading your story ready to cry, and I’m sick of crying , a very sad and beautiful story thank you

[@lindab2653]

Great video. Thank you so much, Carl.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Linda! Best wishes!

[@raysdk]

Thank you for this video!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Ray.

[@chalkywhite11]

Thank you, recently lost my dad and I’m really struggling, I’ll try to take on board the thing’s you’ve suggested.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Jason. I've very sorry for the loss of your dad.

[@coweatsman]

There are different coping strategies for different people. For myself solitude was immensely helpful, despite the usual panic around the mere mention of the concept. Some people can not grieve in company and they would do better with other strategies and certainly would not benefit from groups. There is a tendency in therapy for a "one size fits all" attitude but this is wrong. I lost my father and I stumbled upon walking, especially hills requiring some exertion. My father was a great walker who loved nature walking and I felt as though I was walking in the footsteps of my father. But you never hear this suggestion from grief experts. It doesn't have to be walking. It could be doing any activity the lost loved one loved to do which connects you with your grief for them. The atheist youtuber, Seth Andrews, lost his 2 pet dogs in quick successions and turned to raising money for the Tulsa animal welfare group to buy a new rescue van to replace their old barely working van. Another useful strategy for me, which may be covered in journaling, was writing my father's eulogy through a few drafts over a few days, remembering all my impressions of him as a child and before he was ill, sad and therapeutic at the same time. I think counsellors need to broaden their toolset of strategies to employ for people because different people will respond to different approaches.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am sorry for the loss of your rather. I couldn't agree with you more! Thank you for sharing.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

4 weeks is nothing; walking sounds like a good plan. I went to a Group Grieving Session after the death of my 107 year old mother. I completely agree with your thoughts about solitude being best. My impression of the organizers of the group grieving is that it was more for them, than those grieving. I hope you are getting through your loss. Take good care of yourself.

[@dr.jones.3832]

That is so true, for some we need to be alone with our grief to really connect with our pain and loss, to go thru all the emotions' heartache, loneliness, isolated, depression, despair, helpless, hopelessness,sorrow, empty, anxiety, confusion, withdrawal, regret, fear, anger, self abuse and neglect, blame, to eventually forgiveness, to forgive ourselves and others. To acceptance, to accept our bereavement and pain and loss cause no amount of grieving will bring our loved ones back because they are gone and are never comming back, that's just something we all sooner or later must all accept in this life, it's inevitable, it will happen. And if it's of some consolation and solace, perhaps we will all meet up again on the beach, some sunny day.😊(h.a.n.d)✋

[@judymendez6227]

​@@dr.jones.3832 ❤

[@Sunn777]

Thank you very much... I found it helpful... comforting...

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're very welcome!

[@siritachi1137]

This was so simple but so helpful. Thank you so much.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome, Siri.

[@loririchardson1625]

This was a surprising life raft in my sea of grief. I am sharing this with a friend and will probably start and end my day with this. Thank you so much for this brief and reassuring respite.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you found some comfort in this video.

[@Thomasfrohwitter]

Hi Lori, how’s your day going with you?

[@midgetgem7127]

I lost my beloved Grandma on Boxing Day who I loved so dearly! Life definitely isn't easy as she was a much loved member of the family. Words cannot describe how much I miss her. :(

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Grandma. Yes, grieving a major loss hurts and can be confusing. Use your supports and educate yourself about grieving. Best wishes!

[@Gaby-om5rd]

I lost my grandma 2 weeks ago. She meant the world to me! I loved and love her so much. I still cannot believe it!

[@anthonyalfonso8474]

This is a great help for me Counselor Carl. My mother passed away this November 1, 2018, It was a shock for me since my mother was active in sports (tennis) in the age of 62, unexpectedly she had a heart attack and died. I cried a lot for the past 2 weeks until now whenever i think of her... I had regrets in my heart since I didn't watch over her and visit to her house often since I'm a married man and had a family of my own far away from her home. Only If i could turn back time, I would spend most my time to be with her in our old house.. I'm so sad and depressed right now..

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Anthony. I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your mother. You know, dealing with guilt when someone we love dies is a common and natural issue we have to work though in the grieving process, and 99% of the time the guilt is unfounded because it was simply beyond our control. And if we'd only known what was going to happen, we would have done things differently. But we just didn't know.

[@Rocknrollchick5]

I lost my uncle yesterday. He meant so much to me. Without him, I probably wouldn't be here today. He was an ER doctor and he's the one who started treatments for my brain tumor when I was a baby. He saved my life

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved uncle. He sounds like a remarkable man.

[@Rocknrollchick5]

He really was. He had a heart of gold.

[@victorianathanson1986]

Thank you for your calm, kind, good advice after losing my husband

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband.

[@chrisjohnson2246]

I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a terrible heart disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind it'd be nice if you just say hi here is my number [phone]

[@dreamiedips8624]

#9@3:03 Have faith that grieving leads to healing #10@3:29 Have faith that grieving leads to personal growth #12@3:54 Self-care is never more important than when grieving a major loss Wow, this words were so encouraging. Thanks Counselor Carl.💙💫✨

[@BUBBLESPOGO]

It's consoling to know that the devastating tragedy of death is explained so clearly and simply in this discussion. I just lost my precious husband and I'm doing everything he says for the most part but it's so painfully hard to continue on. I miss my beloved husband do much Words cannot describe the deep agony I've been experiencing since he died.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Darryl, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you found my video helpful.

[@nicmackowey510]

My problem with grieving is that people say my pain isn't as bad as someone else's just because my ex and I were separated.. It's like I'm not allowed to grieve

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Yes, which is a very unhelpful and insensitive thing to say. Thus, do not expect such persons to be supports in your grieving. Rather, seek other others who know how to listen and will respect your grief. You could also find a grief counselor or join a grief group. Best wishes!

[@sand0077]

Dear Carl, I've been watching the grief videos over and over, they've been very helpful in dealing with the loss of my wife. Thank you for offering this service for us that are in need. Grieving is indeed a miserable place to be but I understand the need in experiencing it.

[@MonosEx]

I lost my mom to cancer a week ago, she was a very hardworking woman because she planned to retire at 60 and enjoy the rest of her life, so she didn't notice something was wrong with her until it was too late for treatment, I could only take care of her while her health went downhill in just a few month, Thankfully enough I already have a job and my own place to live, my biggest grief that she left lots pending things and unfullfilled dreams, she wanted to travel, she wanted to teach, she wanted to open a boutique. Every time I remember what she couldn't enjoy fills me with rage and a terrible sadness

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom.

[@rubycane1806]

THANK YOU SO MUCH! this has been a major help.....everything you have said, so far has helped me, you can't imagine how much you have saved my life! thank you again!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I'm so glad you found my words helpful.

[@tracy9397]

My best friend committed suicide last week and I'm utterly devastated and heartbroken. I can't sleep and all I do is cry. The pain feels unbearable.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Tracy. I am so sorry for the tragic death of your best friend.

[@Thomasfrohwitter]

Hi Tracy, how’s your day going with you?